You Died (throwaway)

Prompt: You Died. What were you doing when you died in Equestria? Are you going to eternal paradise or eternal torment?
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31989217/

>This was it.
>You were dead.
>It wasn't as bad as you were expecting.
>Ascending through the sky, watching Equestria drift away below you.
>As you breached the cloud layer you were surrounded by a brilliant, warm light.
>An old, bearded alicorn stood before you.
>He beckoned you forward.

"Are you going to let me into heaven?"

>"That depends on the virtue of thy heart."

>He opened up an immaculate tome and began to sort through the pages.
>You weren't sure what was a sin in this place, but you didn't like your odds.
>Every time he turned a page he growled in rage or heaved in disgust.

>"You stole forty doughnuts from Princess Celestia? That's terrible!"

>He trembled with rage.

"I was gunna give them back. Right after I replaced the filling with wasabi."

>"Did you seriously tamper with Twilight's scale?"

"Hey. That was for her own good! That fatass was never going to get in shape if I didn't intervene!"

>"You kept setting it LOWER."

>Oh right.

"What can I say? Fat ponies are hilarious."

>He kept reading through the book.
>For some reason all the pages about you were written in red ink.
>He seemed to be reaching the end of your life.
>This was it.
>Your final judgement.
>In all honesty you weren't that worried.
>How bad could pony hell be?
>These were creatures that thought prisons needed daily puppet shows.

>"I must say that in all my time I have never before come across such a disgustingly tainted soul."

>His voice boomed throughout the heavens, filled with righteous fury.

>"You might be the most evil thing ever to curse our lands. Begone from- what's this? Cause of death: too much rape."

>He closed his eyes and shook his head.

>"Nopony deserves to be raped to death. You've suffered enough. Welcome, my child."

"Thank you."

>You quickly made your way inside.
>How long before he found out you were the one doing the raping?
>Who knows.
>But you planned on being well away from him when that happened.