how do I not be harrowed by my past nor anxious about my fut

Context: So... Someone asked me in another server a question... I've spoken to them before and I already knew they were going through a breakup
but the question was basically "how do I not be harrowed by my past nor anxious about my future"


Body:

You will never actually experience anything except the moment you're living in.

The past and the future are only constructs inside your head.

Not are you incapable of controlling what is in them, they aren't even truly real.

What is most important is what you have, not what you had or what you will have or won't have.

The past is never coming back, for "good" or for "ill". The future will never truly arrive.

Every moment you move forward you will continue to remain right here, where you are reading these very words. In the present.
It's a weird idea though... But if you want to know truly how I've overcome the burden of the past or the anxiety about the future.... I could explain it to you but I promise you it's not something that is easy to grasp.
You say you are a writer, though so you might actually find this very, very easy to understand.

Are all of the best books that you've ever read ones that made you feel happy?

For me the answer is no, they're the ones that made me think. The ones that made me cry.

It's the books, TV shows and movies that touched me and helped me to better understand the paths that we humans take throughout our lives.

I view my life the same way now. The cruelest fate would be simply not to feel and I've been there. It's what I had to do to survive my abusive relationships, with both my most recent ex and my parents.

To live is simply to feel. It almost doesn't matter if the feeling is pain or pleasure there is beauty in simply the experience of it and the education you can derive from it.


Even more beautiful is that the knowledge I've gained has helped save multiple people from exploitation already and helped a good number of others in understanding how best to help and support others.

I don't feel regret, sad or ashamed of my miserable history, I embrace it and rejoice in it because it is exactly what has allowed to do what gives me the most joy in the world... Which is being a positive influence.

I would not change a single moment.

I don't feel sad about what I have seen or what I have been through, especially not Charlotte. To feel true love even for a short period of time was one of the greatest and most selfish blessings I have ever experienced.

The future itself will always be coming you cannot stop it, you cannot decide exactly what's going to be in it.

The only thing that you can do is to be mindful of where and who you are right now, so that you can be as prepared as possible for the future that is eternally imminent.

That way you can shape it (not control it) into whatever you most want to see in your world.