S17 - Fungus

In the distance, an enormous skeletal turtle lumbered across the beach. They were... supposed to meet at the Lion Turtle corpse, weren't they? So why was the corpse moving?

His neck itched more. He put Xiaohei down and scratched at it. The wound that Able made— it was small, so incredibly, small— and yet his neck felt like it was aflame.

"Hey, cat?" said White. "My neck… does it look bad?"

"Miew. (Uh…)"

"Be straight with me cat," said White. "And detailed."

"Miew. (You've got fungus growing out of you)" White felt a chunk of skin fall off. "Miew. (A chunk of skin just fell off.)"

"Thanks," said White.

"Miew? (Are you gonna be alright?)"

"Yeah…" said White, probably lying. "We just gotta get to my pals at the beach. They're water benders, so they can probably—"

A chain wrapped around White's leg and yanked him down. He crashed through branches and was brought face to face with the shockingly unmaimed face of Able. No fungus either.

---

"I…" said the firebender.

"Raaaaaaah!" said the swordsman as he ran at the firebender with his swords akimbo.

"One moment," said the firebender as he set the swordsman on fire, again. "This is my compatriot, Wade Wilson. We came here on a mission to defeat Able, but he has decided to turn traitor, perhaps for fun."

"Wait, Able?" said Toph. "How do you know about—"

"—It's not a choice," said Wade defensively. "You see, I have to kill you. It's because of my regeneration powers." He turned to Toph. "Hi there. I'm Wade Wilson, better known as Deadpool. You see, I'm a beloved character known not only for my funny jokes, but also my regenerative powers. However, there's a bit of a wrinkle here. See, I got so bored waiting for Neon White to show up that I shot myself in the head for fun, right as the necrosis kicked in! As such, fungus has taken hold of my brain, and it's forcing me to kill my good buddy Osvald! If I could stop myself, I would."

"But you just stopped. Just now," said Toph.

"Oh yeah. Huh." He ripped his arm out of his socket and charged Osvald with it. "I'll kill you Osvald V. Vanstein! AAAAAAAH!"

"How did he—" said Toph.

"Advanced bloodbending. Now get yourself together, Wade." He set Deadpool on fire again.

---

Xiaohei never should have taken that food.

If he'd never taken the food, he never would have become acquainted with Toph's friends.

If he'd never become acquainted with Toph's friends, he would have never become acquainted with Toph.

If he'd never become acquainted with Toph, he would have never become acquainted with Able.

And if he'd never become acquainted with Able, he would be fine.

Xiaohei stepped out from the smoldering remains of the forest. A huge mass of mushroomy fungus sat where Neon White once was. Scorpion struggled to lift himself, as his legs were mushroomy themselves. And Able stepped out of the flames, his limbs a little loose, missing about half of his skin, but not too bothered about it. He was quickly healing.

- Season 17 Round 3, /u/Ragnarust