tale of teapot hero

Chapter One

A Hero's Tale That Ended Before It Began

Congratulations, Miss Kirie Minaret. It's quite sudden, but you have been chosen to be the Hero. The castle official who told me this was wearing a smile like a mask.

The previous Hero should have died valiantly in the battle against the demon army just recently. It seems that their power has been inherited by me. Today is my birthday, what a surprising gift I've received.

A Hero is an entity chosen by God. A warrior bestowed with extraordinary power and a special ability called a "Gift." Even I, a mere village girl, know that much.

I also know that this Deltirado Kingdom is using the power of the Hero to wage war against the demons in order to expand its territory. The previous Heroes, whether it was the last generation or the one before that, died in such a pointless war.

 I will probably end up the same way. The faces of my mother and sister, tearfully seeing me off, tell me that much.

(Even if I say no, being killed is probably the punchline, right?)

If you oppose the tyrant Brutogyu, death awaits you, even if you are the Hero. That much is certain.

As I, the departing Hero, am being seen off by a total of 20 villagers, The small village where I was born and raised becomes smaller and smaller. I burn the last sight of it into my eyes so I'll never forget. And so, I, who have never held a sword before, was taken away in a luxurious carriage to the castle.

I was secretly sent to the castle, dressed in beautiful clothes, and led to the audience chamber. Apparently, it's to examine the new "Gift" bestowed upon the new Hero. I walk through the grand doors into the audience chamber, my nerves on edge. On either side, there's a line of imposing-looking people. They're probably nobles, although I don't recognize a single one.

"Hero, please step forward to the front of the throne."

Urged on by a burly knight, I walk on the plush red carpet. The ceiling is high, and the walls and pillars are beautiful, but I refrain from looking around too much to avoid attracting unwelcome stares. I'm instructed to kneel on one knee when I reach the front of the throne. Kneeling like this is a bit tiring on my leg.

After waiting for a few minutes, the fanfare resounds, and the king makes his appearance. His hair is cut short in a flat-top style, he has a distinguished goatee, and his muscles are bulging.

He is Brutogyu Hadis Deltirado, who single-handedly conquered half of the continent. He's also called a tyrant for his aggressive invasions. He's accompanied by two aides.

One is a chubby middle-aged man with a mild-looking face and a cloak. He's probably a minister; they usually look like that.

The other is likely a woman, though I can't see much of her face because she's hooded. But her figure suggests so. She's also holding something that looks like a crystal ball.

"Bow your head, that's disrespectful!"

"Ye-Yes!"

Caught staring, I'm suddenly shouted at by the mild-looking minister. His eyes, normally narrow, widen, and he yells in a high-pitched voice. I hurriedly lower my head. Appearances can be deceiving, I guess.

"Very well, raise your face, Hero."

"Ye-Yes!"

As instructed, I raise my face. The king looks intently into my eyes and nods as if satisfied.

"At first glance, just a village girl. Judas, are you certain this is the one?"

"Yes, Your Majesty. There's no mistake."

"I see. If you say so, there's likely no mistake."

Indeed, I'm just a village girl. A village girl who will be made to fight for the kingdom. I just want to go home...

"Hero, you may state your name."

"Yes! I am Kirie Minaret from the village of Libo. I am 16 years old!"

The minister records my words on paper. Well, it's the Hero's profile; it's probably important.

"Understood. Judas, proceed with diagnosing the 'Gift.'"
"As you wish, Your Majesty."

The woman called Judas offers a prayer to the crystal ball.

Ah, she must be an Oracle, a person with the ability to hear the voice of the entity called Empireo and convey it to humans. I heard it takes extensive training to become one.

"...I see it. Her Gift is—"

Tension fills the audience chamber. Of course, a Hero's "Gift" is crucial for their strength. The more powerful the Gift, the easier the war will be for this kingdom.

"It's 'Boiling'..."

"Bo... Boiling?"

I accidentally let my voice slip out. I hastily cover my mouth and lower my head.

(Boiling? Like, making water boil and bubble, right?)

With a name that sounds incredibly weak, I can only have a bad feeling about this. The nobles also seem to be stirring with unrest.

"Hmm, hard to judge by the name alone. Move to the knights' training ground. We'll see what it can do there."

With the king's declaration, the audience is interrupted. I am then escorted to the knights' training ground by the burly knight.

And so, for the first time in my life, I'm holding a sword, making awkward swings. The king and the nobles watch from a distance. What kind of penalty game is this?

"…Sigh, nothing's coming out."

"Hero, you should trust your inner urge to unleash your hidden power."

"Well, even if you say so…"

The burly knight offers advice, but no matter how much I swing the sword, nothing happens. Apparently, this is common for rookie heroes like me, but it's still awkward.

"Sigh, I'm tired…"

I'm sweating like crazy, my arms are heavy and numb. I never knew swords were so heavy.

"Thank you for your hard work, here's some water."

"Ah, thank you."

The knight gives me a cup of water. It's nice and cold, tastes good—royal palace water is something else. Now that my throat is moistened, let's try a little harder.

(Let's see, trust my inner urge to unleash…?)

Holding the cup, I mentally repeat the advice I received, and feel like I grasp something. A power surges from deep within my heart, flows down my arms, and hot stuff spouts from my hands. "Bubbling, bubbling, bubbling..."

"…Huh?"

It's hot. The cup is hot. Or rather, its contents are hot. The water is steaming, bubbling away.

"Is it boiling…?"

Could it be, my [Gift] is to turn water into hot water? Is that all?

…In that vein, the atmosphere in the training ground cooled down, opposite to what was in the cup. Snickers leak from the nobles, and whispers like 'Boiling Hero' are heard. The king leaves as if giving up, and the audience ends. The next day, rumors about me spread throughout the castle.

Well, yeah. It's embarrassing. So embarrassing that I feel like I could boil water with the heat from my face. Even the maids can't help but laugh, and I can heat up my cooled tea. But there was also something good.

"Hero, you may return to your hometown."

The king personally declares that I am unfit for battle. Of course, a village girl whose only skill is boiling water is useless on the distant front lines and would be more of a hindrance. The power of a hero can be transferred to someone else if you wish to let it go.

Honestly, I was glad. I don't have to fight. I can go back to the village and live my normal life. Even if the nobles laugh, even if the minister glares at me, I take no damage. It's way better than dying. …No lie, I'm a little teary-eyed.
So there I was, sent back in a luxurious carriage to my hometown of Libo Village, accomplishing a triumph that came far too early. It's pretty embarrassing, but now my normal days are back. My tale as a hero ended before it even began.

In the King's chamber, Minister Gustav confronts the King. The topic is about the Hero Kirie.

"Why did you send that young girl back to her village! You should be well aware that a new Hero can't be born unless the current one dies!"

"I am aware. And Minister, this is a confidential matter. No need to raise your voice."

"Ah, my apologies. It's just my nature."

The King is well acquainted with the Minister's character. Despite his short temper, the man is competent. He's useful, which is why he's not killed for minor impertinences.

"Think about it, if the Hero were to be killed within the castle, it would sow discord among our vassals. Dealing with the murderer would also be troublesome."

"Th-That is true…"

"Having her ambushed in the carriage on the way back is also not ideal. That is a royal carriage; if it were to be attacked and the public found out, it would damage my authority."

"Then what shall we do? Our army will be at a disadvantage without a Hero…"

The King sits deeply in his throne, toying with his beard as he puts on a cruel smile.

"Don't worry, Minister. I have a good idea."

"What are you suggesting?"

"If a small village with a population of about twenty people happens to be wiped out by bandits, what impact would it have on our kingdom?"

"Ah, I see… Then, I will make arrangements accordingly."

The Minister leaves the room with a twisted grin. Now everything is taken care of. Once the Hero dies, a new one will soon be born. The war will turn in our favor, and the day when the kingdom crushes the demon territory and takes control will be near. The King's interest has already moved from Kirie to the next yet-to-be-seen Hero.