SCENE 7: EAT THE CRICKETS!

(603-687)

Loha is standing atop the stairs in his classromm, adressing an audience of students.

	MR. LORD LOHA: "Let Me Introduce... The Professor Of Black Magic School! That'S Me! Jid Loloha: The Medal Mellin, The Third Magician, The Best One In The Black Magic Union, The Honored Member, And The Same Time
			The Charming Smile Owner 5 Times Of Championship! But I Don'T Want To Do That! I Am Not Depending On My Smile To Kill The Evils!"

Loha laughs at his own joke. The students stare at him confounded, uncertain as to what said joke even is.

[QUIRDERPH NOTE: Lockhart's egotistical quiz scene is not included in the subtitles.]

Loha walks up to a cage, covered by a blanket.

	MR. LORD LOHA: "Now, Attention! My Work... Is To Teach You How To Deal With The Most Nasy Evil In The World! You Will See In The Classroom, Facing The Deep Fear! But If I Am Here, You Will Be Safe!
			Please Don'T Scream, It Will Make Them Mad!"

Loha rips away the blanket, it's full of tiny, fey-like creatures.

	MOSSY: "Caner Green?"

	MR. LORD LOHA: "Caner Green Just Be Caught!"

Mossy laughs, unable to take this situation seriously.

	MR. LORD LOHA: "Laugh Out Mossy, Green Is A Evil! Look At You How To Do... Fly, Fly!"

Loha opens the cage. The Caner quickly spread themselves all over the room, causing chaos and attacking the students.

	MR. LORD LOHA: "Hurry, Hurry! They Are Greens!"

Two Caner grab Robaton by the ears and somehow manage to fly him all the way up to the chandelier.

	ROBATON: "Please Put Me Down!"

Another Caner grabs Mely by the hair.

[QUIRDERPH NOTE: Hermione's line "Uh, stop! Get off me!" is not included in the subtitles.]

	HALLY PORTER: "There Don'T Move! Don'T Move!"

Hally smacks the Caner with a book. Loha raises his magic stick and attempts to cast a spell on the tiny rapscallions...

	MR. LORD LOHA: "Pisc Pisc Pistnomi!"

... however, one of them steals the stick before the spell has time to do anything (assuming it would even work in the first place.) The Caner bring the dragon skeleton suspended in the roof crashing down.
At this point, Loha decdes to leg it and run back into his office.

	MR. LORD LOHA: "I Will Give You Chance To Get The Greens Back!"

Hally, Lean and Mely have all resorted to just beating the Caner with their schoolbooks.

	LEAN WISLIN: "What Should We Do?!"

Mely raises her stick and says the magic word.

	MELY GLAND: "Freeze!"

It works, the Caner are all paralyzed. Robaton - still hanging from the chandelier - bemoans his situation.

	ROBATON: "Why Always Me?"

Muto leads the Gryffindoor sports team toward the pitch, ready to start the training for this semester.

	MUTO: "I Am Designing For The Whole Summer A New Training Plan. Our Training Must Be Earlier And Stricter, Longer... What Are You Doing Here? What Are You Going Fode?"

Muto is surprised to be met by the Slizelin team, led by Team Captain Fode. He answers nochalantly.

	FODE: "Playground."

	MUTO: "I Have Registered For The Tennis!"

	FODE: "Don'T Be Angry, I Got The Permit."

Fode hands Muto a rolled-up parchment. Lean and Mely notice the commotion.

	LEAN WISLIN: "Ohoh..There Is Trouble."

Muto unrolls and starts reading the parchment.

	MUTO: "Me Professor Snell, Permit That Slizelin Team To Use The Playground, Let Them Train The New Comer."

Muto looks up at Fode, surprised.

	MUTO: "Do You Have A New Comer? Who?"

The Slizelin team members scatter, revealing their latest aquistition.

	HALLY PORTER: "Mafle?"

(Now how did nobody spot him? He and his team were coming from the side of the courtyard. In fact, if you look closely at the scene you can see that he IS already with the team in the first shot.)

	BROTHER: MAFLE: "Right, I Am Not The New One."

Mafle gestures to the brand new broomsticks which the whole team are carrying.

	LEAN WISLIN: "That Is 2001! Hwo Can Oyu Have That?!"

(Here is a rather neat coincidence. This film was released in 2002, and is a sequel to another film released in 2001, so it seems perfectly locigal that the first one would feature a "Nimbus 2000" model, and the second
a "Nimbus 2001". Except... the books were published in 1997 and 1998, and set in 1991 and 1992, respectively. The names of the brooms were unchanged from the books, so this really only happened by chance.)

	FODE: "It Is Given By Mafle'D Father."

	BROTHER MAFLE: "Welsly, This Is For My Father Only A Small Money."

	MELY GLAND: "At Least All The Members Are Really Good! They Are Not Here Because Of Their Money!"

Mafle walk up to Gland, staring at her with disdain.

	BROTHER MAFLE: "Nobody Is Asking For Your Opinion, You Dirty Melon!"

	LEAN WISLIN: "You Should Pay For What You Said, Mafle! Eat The Crickets!"

Lean tries to hex Mafle, but the spell ends up backfiring and hitting its caster. Lean falls to the ground. The Slizelin team laughs. Hally and Mely run up to their friend.

	MELY GLAND: "Are You Ok?! Say Something!"

Lean barfs out a whole darn snail. The tennis players are all disgusted.

	TENNIS PLAYER: "It Is Nasty!"

Kelin - having come from absolutely nowhere - snags a picture of the miserable, sick boy for his own amusement.

	KELIN: "Oh! Can You Turn It Over Harry?"

	HALLY PORTER: "No Kelin, Excuse Me!"

Hally and Mely help Lean - who is still barfing up snails - to his feet.

	HALLY PORTER: "We Take Him To Hayge, He Must Know What To Do!"

END OF SCENE 7.