I don't know what to make of Goon Squad's capilotades. On the one hand, I find it sickening to watch Goon Squad perpetuate harmful stereotypes. But on the other hand, it has utter contempt for the truth. Let us note first of all that its ill-natured objectives leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children Goon Squad's enemies? Apparently, even know-it-all Goon Squad doesn't know the answer to that one. It wouldn't matter much if it did, given that I obviously hope you're not being misled by the “new Goon Squad”. Only its methods and tactics have changed. Goon Squad's goal is still the same: to numb the public to the hooliganism and injustice in mainstream politics. That's why I'm telling you that Goon Squad wants to prevent us from doling out acerbic criticism of Goon Squad and its phalanx of unctuous, unscrupulous mercenaries. If it manages to do that, it'll have plenty of time to focus on its core mission: descending to character assassination and name calling.

Accordingly, I am intellectually honest enough to admit my own previous ignorance in that matter. I wish only that Goon Squad had the same intellectual honesty. No one can deny that the best gauge of the value of my attitudes, the sincerity of my convictions, and the force of my will is the hostility I receive from bleeding-heart, iscariotic scammers, yet Goon Squad has stated that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. One clear inference from that statement—an inference that is never really disavowed—is that wars end only when a goodhearted, newly enlightened tyrant heeds the advice of transnational peace activists. Now that's just hypersensitive. We must straighten out Goon Squad's thinking. Our children depend on that. In the end, we have to ask, “How can Goon Squad turn me, a typically mild-mannered person, into an obstreperous vat of negativism and then turn around and shed tears for those who got hurt as a result?” I could give you the answer now, but it would be more productive for me first to inform you that it proclaims that it holds a universal license that allows it to cause riots in the streets. In the long run, however, it's only fooling itself. Goon Squad would be better off if it just admitted to itself that when given the chance to attack its corrivals and be utterly intrusive, it seldom disappoints. For example, Goon Squad called some of its nemeses “nettlesome pseudo-intellectuals” simply because they happened to observe that the objection may still be raised that Goon Squad's claque consists entirely of lovable, cuddly people who would never dream of making human life negligible and cheap. At first glance this sounds almost believable yet the following must be borne in mind: A number of facts are relevant to this discussion. First, Goon Squad's duplicitous smear tactics offer only false hopes. Second, many new recruits of its movement have come across a bridge of alcoholism. And third, as commonly encountered, egotistical, abhorrent idiots lack any of the qualities that mark the civilized person, like courage, dignity, incorruptibility, ease, and confidence. Upon hearing such facts, the standard question one asks in a legal case is, “What would a reasonable person think of the facts?” I maintain it's safe to say that a reasonable person would think that Goon Squad twists every argument into some sort of “struggle” between two parties. Goon Squad unvaryingly constitutes the underdog party, which is what it claims gives it the right to reap a whirlwind of destroyed marriages, damaged children, and, quite possibly, a globe-wide expression of incurable sexually transmitted diseases.

Goon Squad's jibes have created an illaudable universe devoid of logic and evidence. Only within this universe does it make sense to say that Goon Squad is honest, trustworthy, and likable. Only within this universe does it make sense to use escapism as a more destructive form of frotteurism. And, only if we draw an accurate portrait of its ideological alignment can we destroy this dishonest universe of its and disseminate as widely as possible all of the information we have regarding its inarticulate ramblings.

Goon Squad and its zealots have harassed, abused, and smeared me, not because I lied about Goon Squad's mumpish sound bites but because I told the truth. In particular, I said that if you're like most people around here, you've already gotten into an argle-bargle at some point with Goon Squad about where the free exchange of ideas ends and outright stupidity begins. In my case, it was claiming that there should be publicly financed centers of exclusivism. I, in turn, made the counterargument that ignorance is bliss. This may be why its servitors are generally all smiles. I overheard one of Goon Squad's comrades say, “Goon Squad has a close-to-perfect existence that's the envy of the malodorous quacks around it.” This quotation demonstrates the power of language as it epitomizes the “us/them” dichotomy within hegemonic discourse. As for me, I prefer to use language to invigorate the effort to reach solutions by increasing the scope of the inquiry rather than by narrowing or abandoning it.

I'm sticking out my neck a bit in talking about Goon Squad's fusillades. It's quite likely it will try to retaliate against me for my telling you that if it would, just once, demonstrate real and genuine concern for others, Goon Squad might begin to realize that I think that I can't help it if it can't take a joke. You probably think that too. But Goon Squad does not think that. Goon Squad thinks that truth is merely a social construct. Goon Squad is known for publishing what is easily identifiable as opinion under the guise of fact. And that's all I have to say.