Oliver sat at the table eating sausages and mash.
"I have to scour these old kitchen pots before I can use them again," his mother complained. "Besides, a hamper full of laundry is waiting for me right now. No one in this house wants to help me. Your damned father does nothing but mess around with his precious car that hasn't made it a foot of road! He'd better fix the horse's harness at last! Your older sister is only interested in boys, but at the same time she is so shy that she doesn't want to meet them. She wants me to match her up with respectable men. And finally, you little dependant! A week ago, I asked you to take out the litter and you didn't do it! It's the same with my request to feed the slops to the pigs! "
"And all you can do is complain and cook bad food!" said Oliver's father in his husky voice as he entered the room. " I have to tinker with the car a lot because it has a serious factory fault! By the way, I just fixed our old couch and finished the baseboard in the hallway!"
"And you also managed to get drunk, judging by that disgusting scent coming out of your maw!" shouted Oliver's mother.
"Don't say such words to me, woman!"
Oliver's mother sighed and stopping shouting, whispered:
"This constant bickering is not good for the children!"
"Mom, Dad!" exclaimed Oliver, finishing his food "Can I go see the crowning of the new king tonight? Please, I want to so much!"
"You can go straight to hell if you buy some veggies on the way and bring them home!" said Oliver's mother. “I heard there was going to be a big fair in the town!”
"And don't forget to grab a couple of beers for your old man!" added Oliver's father in a good-natured voice.
"I love you guys," Oliver said cheerfully and left the house.
Standing in the yard, he looked around. To his left was an old granary, and next to it chickens pecked at the grain and cackled. To his right was the pigsty, and next to it a pig wallowed in the dirt. His dog, Barky, had begun to molt, and there was a lot of his hair everywhere.
“Moo!” Oliver heard a mooing and turned around. He saw a young cow drinking water from a trough. He remembered how it gave birth. Soon after it was born, the calf got up and tried to stand on its shaky legs. It was cute! Oliver scratched his head and walked out of the yard. On the way he almost stepped on a duck walking with its brood. The little ducklings recently hatched from their eggs. The duck bounced off him with a quack and a waddle, and then continued on its way.
"The straight road is too long, but luckily I know a shortcut into town!" he thought and turned off the road. He walked around the local dairy and saw a mill in the distance. He came closer but a flock of sheep blocked his entry to the mill so he turned around again. The smell of manure drifted over from the stable that was in his path. The horses standing nearby swished their tails to get rid of the flies hovering around them. After a while he found himself in the woods.
It was a beautiful sunny autumn morning. The tall trees with their variegated leaves swayed in the wind. Some of the leaves fluttered down. Oliver walked, admiring the red, yellow, and green variety of colors. He heard a rustle of leaves on the ground and was in a good mood. But soon he got bored and decided to look around. Oliver decided to find some interesting animal, plant, or rock that they had recently studied at school. At first it worked, and he spotted a beautiful weevil sitting on a stump under a beech tree. But other than that, there were no interesting creatures there. Except that he later saw a hare hiding in the undergrowth.
Oliver walked through a dapple of sunlight that shifted as the breeze moved the leaves. On his way he noticed a black crow sitting on a branch. He looked at it and a bee flew by Oliver's ear with the whizzing sound of a bullet.
Soon he reached the edge of the forest, where he also noticed something interesting. These were a pile of limestone, gravel and slate. He looked around and also noticed some interesting flowers. They were bluebell, daisy, and forget-me-not.
After a while Oliver found himself in the city. It wasn't a very big town, with many old brick buildings, cobblestone streets, and a couple of neglected parks overgrown with bushes and weeds. There was also a train station in town with an old brick building that Oliver loved so much. Oliver knew the town well, but he felt excited every time he got there. As usual, he decided to meander the streets, looking around with a great interest.
The last time he had done so, he had almost been hit by a car. On that day, Oliver had found an interesting coin. He was standing in the middle of the road examining its reverse and front side. Oliver was so busy looking at the hawk on the tails of the coin that he didn't notice the car approaching. In addition, he still didn’t accustom himself to cars because they were just starting to appear on the streets. Thinking back to that incident, he almost stepped in a pile of dog muck. Oliver crossed the street and saw a purring cat lying on the stone fence in front of the big house. At that moment he heard a squall. He looked over there and saw a small child. Her mother unbuttoned her blouse and gave him her breast. The sight of it all made Oliver squirm with embarrassment. A surrey drove past and hid them from sight.
After a while Oliver found himself in the square. Looking around, he noticed a respectable-looking couple walking by.
" I had been tenured just recently but today I was promoted to full professor!" a man in the expensive suit and large black hat said smugly. He then pulled out a pocket watch on a fob and checked the time.
"I'm so glad of that, darling!" said his companion. "But it's so hot in here. I'm beginning to wilt! Maybe we should go home!"
She took off her little hat, and shining mahogany hair flowed to her shoulders in a stream of curls. Oliver was amazed by her beauty. She had bright emerald eyes and a white, dazzling smile. She wore red matte shoes, and her gloves were made of very supple leather. All this gave her a dainty look.
"Gangway!" Oliver suddenly heard, and bounced to the side. A fierce-looking fellow with one eye drove past on his wagon.
Oliver stood wondering where he should go now, when he felt someone nibbled his ear. He exclaimed, jumped back, and turned around. It turned out to be a horse. Oliver saw its big muzzle in front of him, and at that moment the horse tried to lick him.
" The horses are either biters or kickers!” someone said in the genial manner, and Oliver turned around again. He saw an elderly one-legged man leaning on his crutch. "My name is Alex, and I'm the owner of this damn nag."
After that, Oliver and Alex talked for a while. It turned out that Alex had just returned from the war. He was trying to find his uncle, his only relative.
"So many people fled inland from the east, and I thought Morgan might be here. I haven't found him yet, but I've already met a nice guy named Gerard, he's French. Many foreigners were interned for the war, including him. He, like me, was sucked into the vortex of this terrible war. Our government continues to propagate the belief that this is a just war. But this is a pathetic lie! War is always a long and messy business."
Alex and Oliver were sitting on the curb. Alex began to smoke.
"How did you lose your leg?" asked Oliver.
"It was during a big battle near Berlin. We marched on the city. I heard a shot, after which I immediately plummeted to the ground. I was sent to the hospital. My leg had been hit by so many shotgun pellets that the doctors decided to cut it off."
"That sounds terrifying! I didn't know a shotgun blast could be so dangerous!”
"Yes. Shotgun pellets inside can rip through the wall of a house and still be deadly up to 200 meters!” he sighed. “One guy in my platoon didn’t know how to shoot and accidently shot his arm off! Guns are a tool to make people suffer and die. It further demonstrates the monstrosity of man. Some people think people are kind, but that's not true. We are all messed-up, cruel, and restless individuals. Ordinary people, soldiers, politicians, whatever. The latter are the worst of all. They told us that after the war we would be heroes, that they would not abandon us. And then It transpired that nobody needed us. Many of the soldiers were interred in unmarked graves! Surviving War Veterans were not given any money!”
He took a drag on his cigarette.
“I was conscripted into the army at the age of 25. I was a young man and knew nothing. But now I am wiser. Now I wasn't inclined to believe them!”
They were silent for a while, and Oliver suddenly remembered his mother's request. He said goodbye to Alex and went into the nearest store. It was a beautiful place! There was a lot of fresh food for every taste! All the delicious smells made Oliver's stomach rumble.
"I've come to get my Swiss," said the richly dressed customer to the salesman. He was wearing a perfectly tailored bespoke suit.
"Certainly, sir!" said the salesman and gave him a rather large piece of cheese wrapped up in brown paper "This is a very high-quality artisan cheese. It was made with..."
But the customer wouldn't listen to him and just walked away. Oliver began to pick out some vegetables, namely turnip, beetroot and radish. At that point a robber burst into the store.
"Give me your money, quick!" he shouted and pulled out his pistol. As the salesman was about to do so, the robber noticed Oliver. He shouted, "Who the //// are you?"
Oliver didn't know what to answer, so he just put his hands up. The robber turned over and noticed something in the window. He cursed, "Fuck!" and ran out of the store. A minute later a policeman entered the store.
"What happened here?" he asked, and the salesman told him everything, adding that for some reason the robber ran away when he saw Oliver. The policeman looked at the latter with suspicion and said: "You're coming with me!"
After a while they both came to the nearest police station. Oliver sat at the cold steel table opposite the policeman. The latter was silent, but then he suddenly shouted:
"Are you in cahoots with this mobster? Tell me the truth, you little criminal!"
"No, I'm not in cahoots! I've never seen him before!" stammering with fear, Oliver replied.
"Who can vindicate your words?"
"Only my word of honor is proof," mumbled Oliver confusedly. "It is the only proof of my veracity, sir"
"You pathetic street urchin, you think you can fool me?" the policeman leaned over the table and shouted it in Oliver's face. "If you don't even know this mobster, I can arrest you for vagrancy anyway! The prosecutor will institute proceedings against you, and after that we'll put you away!"
Oliver felt horrified and did not know what to reply. At that moment another policeman entered the room and said:
"Stop to intimidate this kid, Jack, and get on with the real business!
"Sir, yes, sir!" said the policeman, and when his superior left, added, "I see right through you, future gangster! I’m sure you will steal goods and mug people very soon! I believe that only good clubbing can get you back on the right track! Unfortunately, I don't have time for that. Get out of my office! Get lost!"
Oliver was happy to leave this horrible place and ran out of the building. But his happiness didn't last long, because the robber from the shop caught him. He was an unattractive man with long greasy hair and pasty skin.
"What did you tell the cops?" he hissed angrily. "Did you tell them what I look like?"
"No, sir, they just…"
"We need to find a better place to have this conversation," the robber said and dragged confused Oliver down the street. After a while they turned a corner and entered an old and dilapidated building.
"I got the little scumbag!" said the robber and pushed Oliver toward a table at which a couple of mobsters were playing poker.
"I bet you told the cops you had nothing to do with our friend to save your own skin, huh?" one of the mobsters said, looking at his cards. He was smoking a cigar and looked cocky. "Tell us the truth, because your life depends on it!"
Should he tell him the truth or try to deceive them? This question dinned so loudly in Oliver's brain that he could hardly hear what the robber was saying to him at this moment. In the end, Oliver decided to deflect questions in the best way possible.
"Look, I'm just a boy, and I have nothing to do with your friend and robbing and…"
"What about the merchandise, did you manage to get it?" the cocky mobster asked his friend without listening to Oliver. Oliver noticed a brass knuckle on his hand.
"Yes, but I had to pay for their services upfront. And...."
"Gentlemen, let me go, I've done nothing wrong!" Oliver tried vainly to make them listen.
"They said they started charging more because of the bad news. The word has it that the sheriff is going to assemble a posse and go after them."
"Maybe we should ask Tommy to settle this case?" said the other mobster, putting his card on the table.
"He's gone on a five-day binge and now he can't even hold his d/// straight, let alone his gun!" someone said. The mobsters laughed out loud. They seemed to have forgotten about Oliver. " He's been drinking constantly since he got out of prison. Too bad Mark isn't with us anymore. He would have solved this problem quickly. Oh man, he could mastermind every raid in such detail! He was a damn genius! When he was with us we were feared throughout the neighborhood!"
"Remind me again how he ended up?"
" First, he was sent up for armed robbery. He had a good time in prison and managed to bang one of the matrons! But that’s not all! He managed to nobble the jailers and got out early! When he got out of there, the sheriff took revenge on him for his colleague, whom Mark had killed a long time ago. Mark's body was found scarcely a week later in a local pond. And I talked him out of robbing that bank! But he said it was an opportunity he couldn't pass up, and…"
"So what do we do with this little slug?" the robber from the shop suddenly asked.
"Do what you want, it's your problem, not ours," said the cocky robber, throwing the cards on the table. "I f///ed you all guys! Again!"
The robber scratched his head and then led Oliver into the nearest room.
"Stay here until I figure out what to do with you! And remember, any attempt to escape from here is forlorn!"
"But sir!"
"If I hear one more squeak from you, there will be trouble! Don’t drive me to an extremity!”
After these words he closed the door and locked it.
Oliver felt very sad. He sat on the bed, the only piece of furniture in the room. He looked around a noticed a spider. It crept up the wall. Oliver thought of the crowning, which he would now surely miss and of his mother, who would worry about his absence.
“Where on earth have you been? We've been frantic with worry!” he could almost hear his mother's voice.
And unfortunately, there was nothing he could do about it. At this point Oliver noticed a newspaper on the bed and began to read to take his mind off his gloomy thoughts.
"It looks like we're going to overrun our budget," said our chief economist, Den Johnson. "The budget surplus is now only 1 percent of GDP.  That's very low. The economic slowdown has caused prices to plateau for a while. But that's no reason to rejoice, because the post-war shortage of human resources can create shortages and a markup in prices. To be honest, we are expecting a plunge in state profits this year. This can happen because of the post-war decline in consumption. To make up for their losses, retailers will have to surcharge customers all the time. And don't forget that the extractive industry started to go downhill. In my opinion, this has happened because the industry has become dangerously dependent on government valorization. Now that the government can't support them anymore, it may portend a daunting new world. All of this makes projecting supply and demand difficult and..."
"This is terribly boring!" thought Oliver and turned the page.
"Our government has just issued several important laws, viz: First, the work of the tax service will be regulated by its standing orders. Second, elections will be abolished. Finally, politicians will no longer have to vie with each other! Third: The new minister will take up office in December. And the fourth, the lower house has signed into law a law providing an interdict against marriage between close relatives, such as your brother or sister. This last law has caused a huge public outcry! Many people are outraged by this unjust law, and brick factory workers even created a stoppage!"
The text at the bottom was so small that Oliver couldn't read it in the dimly lit room, so he went to the window. But it turned out that it was very dirty and wouldn't let any light into the room. Oliver tried to open it and he succeeded! He was extremely apprehensive as he climbed over the frame. Once in the narrow alleyway, he moved carefully along the stone walls. But when Oliver turned the corner and found himself on a wide street, he ran as hard as he could. He jumped and flailed his legs in the air.
Oliver had turned out of his way and was now on a street he knew well. The fact was that there had been a great fire here some time ago. He had witnessed this tremendous spectacle! Even when the fire had finally been brought under control, the smoke still swirled around the house for days. Oliver looked at the blackened wrought iron gate. The fire had left scorch marks on them. After the fire, two investigators scoped the area looking for any evidence that someone had set the fire on purpose. It was a large and painstaking investigation, but it didn’t produce results. For some reason, Oliver remembered the lady of the house. A young girl with a pretty little face and a snub nose, she looked at the fire through tears. Obviously, she had been badly shaken up by the accident. All of her stuff got burned.
Oliver left the burnt house behind and after a while found himself in a large circular square. The place was crowded. Mimics and clowns were entertaining passersby, vendors were selling their wares, and local thieves were stealing from customers.
The circus always gets a big buildup when it comes to town” he thought, looking at the clowns. One of them skillfully juggled bottles.
Oliver passed a meat vendor, noticed pork chops hanging from ropes, steaks lying in the corner, and a pile of offal lying on the counter. Then he saw the local apothecary, around whom were an array of fragrant herbs.
"Look at this fresh turpentine!" he shouted. "And what would you say about this ointment? The mixture is all-natural, from the hills. It is made of mangle tree bark!” He shook a small vial of salve inside closed with a big stopper and said, “Buy my wonderful infusions at once!"
Oliver came to the vendors and saw that the stalls are piled high with local vegetables. He bought some of them for his mother and went to the candy vendor. Oliver swallowed his saliva looking at all these delicious sweets. He greatly wished he had the money to buy a taffy, a fudge, an ice cream, and brownies with treacle! After standing at the counter for a while, he went to the gates of the palace where the crowning was to take place.
"Hurry up!" said a man in the old-fashioned suit and blocked Oliver's way. "Don't miss the reenactment of the Battle of Gettysburg at our theater!"
He gave Oliver a leaflet and let him go. But almost immediately Oliver ran into a noisy throng of people. The tumult around the entrance to the palace was, indeed, great. Hundreds and hundreds of onlookers crowded in, pushing each other. The man tried to go through without a line, but was straight away confronted by a security guard.
"Halt!" said the guard. He was wearing steel armor and carrying a spear. He pushed the man off, saying, "You can't go there, you abject commoner!”
At that moment, Oliver was lucky to be a small child because he managed to sneak through the crowd unnoticed and get inside without any problems. Oliver found himself in an intricately decorated hall with a white marble floor and gold candelabras which dangled from the high ceiling. In addition, it was embellished with flowers and leaves. In the center of the hall stood the king. He was dressed in a long mauve cloak and a large crown with colorful jewels. He held a ceremonial silver mace in his hand. Beside him stood his wife and a priest dressed in ceremonial vestments and a big starched ruff around his neck.
"Bishop Christian is about to anoint our king!" heard Oliver to his right. He looked there and saw several well-dressed dignitaries. They looked unconcerned, while the commoners gazed open-mouthed at the ceremony and talked loudly.
"He is a very distinguished man," said another dignitary. "He is a man of high church, for whom the sacrament of holy anointing is the highest moment of worship!"
"The queen is magnificent today!
"Indeed!"
Oliver looked at the queen. Her voluminous silk gown dragged across the floor behind her.
"She looks so innocent, but if you knew what she was up to at her bachelorette party..."
The bishop recited a prayer, crossed the king, and doused him with holy water. After that they moved through the hall at a steady pace. The king and queen led the way, and the bishop brought up the rear. Then the ceremony ended and the crowd began to disperse. Oliver had to stand in line for a long time to get out of the building. When he did, it was already dark.
"My parents will kill me!" he thought in desperation and rushed to run toward the house. “I'd better hustle!”
He ran as fast as he could, but soon his strength left him and he stopped. He stood at the edge of the county road, and panted.
"I need to get home as soon as possible!" he puffed.
At that moment, his neighbor Cory drove past him on a cart. They greeted each other, and Oliver hoped on the cart. That's how he got home before anyone got worried, and the story ended well"