I'm feeling impulsive so it's time to out an abuser 🌻🌻🌻 I know a lot of you are friends with him, fuck it! He's said a lot of nasty shit about you DM me if you want details. It's a lot so I'm breaking it up into segments
Also this isn't a l l of the stuff I've seen and know about just the stuff that doesn't involve others (that I know).
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Origin
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I first met him off Grindr in 2016, i was homeless and desperate trust me 🤮
We got lunch, he attempted to fuck me in an alley #classy and I stayed at his house for a few days (read:I slept on his brothers mattress) When I was in the foyer I had a massive suicidal attempt and made a post so people would stop calling, the next day totally unexpectedly he called up to say he wouldn't feel sad if I killed myself and that he'd just be disappointed that we couldn't hang out. When I was being booted from the foyer he said he needed a housemate. We had a lot of good times while I was on the street, he helped me navigate pt, introduced me to a lot of great people and seemed pretty cool if a little bit of a dickhead. So I said yes.
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Moving to Melbourne.
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The day I arrived I did some dishes and said that I'd rather just do them rather than fight because I have a lot of trauma regarding dishes and showed him some scars I have from thrown bottles and plates. He joked about how he'd never have to do another dish again. Wasn't a joke actually,,,,,. I have a mould allergy and he would leave dishes out til they grew thick layers of mould on-top and other housemates or I with epi pen and latex head to toe had to. He constantly made the house smell like cat shit and rotting milk because he never cleaned up after himself or his cat (I love that cat).his mother (the landlord) didn't give a single fuck about his behaviour nor the mould growing from every surface. (To be clear his behaviour wasn't a matter of spoons although I'm sure it was part of it)
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Relationships, hookups, FWBs.
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When I moved to Melbourne I started meeting a lot of people I had arranged to hookup with, and was a mutual friend of. I was promptly forbidden and shamed for being into them. For example one person he introduced me to at a party said oh I know you, we talked on scruff (thank you cause I forgot where we talked but not your face) and that night he bullied me and gave me 101 reasons why I'm an idiot, he's ugly, I'm ugly and that hooking up with him is not only yucky, but illegal. I do have some difficulties hooking up with friends, but most of the people I'd like to hookup with still.
I had a Grindr hookup over the first week??? I moved in, and he knocked down the door scaring me to DEATH asking if I ordered food as a "joke". He would regularly walk in on me and my hookups because he found it funny to do so, any time I had a girl over he'd mock me about "I thought you were gay" knowing I IDd as pan/queer at the time and ask if they were trans or where I met them.  I had a lovely puppy over regularly who unfortunately had to meet the housemate from hell and after rushing them in and out I was told that I wasn't allowed to have them over because he found them weird. I also had a couple travel hookup regulars who he would get pissy about because again, it's so unfair god has not gifted him with a perfect sub twink who will never contest his behaviour.
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Friends.
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When I moved in I quickly noticed that I wasn't allowed to have friends he didn't approve of, and that if I went on a date with someone he wanted to know each detail and would complain that it's not fair that I (aro-iding at the time) were going on dates when he had none, and then would be quick to point out any insecurities I had about dating that person, that I had no desirable qualities and in one case pursued after a poor guy just because (a) hes trans and (b) I went on a date with him and HE wanted him. I wish I was closer to the guy I went on a date with and want to catch up with him soon, I also still owe him fuel money so if you're reading this remind me.
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Trans rights.
If I was wearing something he didn't like he'd call me fat or an ugly lesbian/d**e. Would mock me for having "feminine" weight distribution (but lord forbid if I say his tits droop more than mine), he'd flick me in the nipples pre op which thankfully stopped, he would froth over every trans mascs he knew, but misgendered a lot of his non binary friends, he's very trans savvy and knows what he says and does is wrong so he only did them around his token uwu pocket boy (me) he would shit on his trans feminine friends regularly and openly said he didn't give a fuck about calling his non binary friend they when they weren't there.  I tried calling him out gently a couple times but he threw up the defensive wall too quick and raise his voice.
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Trans rights part 2, why'd you make recovery hell? Boogaloo.
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when I had top surgery he would put my medications on the top shelf of my bookshelf and Lorded my recreational opioid history over me, I DID ask for him to keep an eye on my oxy because it was a concern id use it for fun but a day or two post op I'm too busy being euphoric from a lovely combo of finally making it and the anaesthetic. He and some friends set up a roster of who would take care of me during recovery (which I'm eternally thankful for) he constantly wasn't home when he was scheduled and never bothered to inform anyone he'd be out. I've been told that he had a threesome while I was crying in pain because all of my meds were out of reach. He made fun of my chest "because it looks like he missed a spot" pointing out the chub I have around my armpits. He also gave constant unwarranted opinions about other guys top surgery results and regularly shat on DI chests.
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TW SEXUAL ASSAULT
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The night I knew I had to get out of there was the night he came home and joked about how he had sex with someone who was so drunk they didn't know where their phone was, and that it was in their hand. I said that that sounded a whole lot like rape and he yelled about how it wasn't because he didn't say no, and that he was a SA survivor and that he'd never. I was furious and told him that this shit can never happen again and he better pray that the guy DID consent. He later said that he confronted the guy and he said it was fine. (whether true or not, if I was put in that situation and my rapist asked hey lol did I rape you I wouldnt be like we'll yes actually). Also, back in 2016 I had a lot of hypersensitivity because surprise being homeless is pretty traumatic and he took advantage of that and regularly molested me. I never said no and pretended it was fine and consentual,  not just pretended to him but myself.
When I moved in he made a move while we were in bed and I assumed oh ok neat I guess this is still a thing and tiredly attempted head, I was very not into it and neither was he and he said to stop, I did we returned to watching the show and he tried sticking his hand down my pants and I stopped him. (I was on the rag) that was that, until a year later when he tried to make out that I instigated it which I quickly shut him down on.
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Friends pt 2
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Seeing I only was allowed to be friends with people he knew when I moved out of his place (read: was given the option of sleep on his couch or find somewhere new because the house his mother b r o u g h t him was in an inconvenient location and he was thinking of moving, then got really offended when I said "oh I'll start looking for a place" rather than take his nasty couch) I felt pretty isolated. You never know how many friendship groups you'd lose if one of your friendships ended abruptly. He regularly talked shit about, misgendered and lied about our (his) friends entirely out of nowhere, and wondered and got angry that all his friends didn't actively go out of their way to be in his life 24/7. Surprise when you call your friend a selfish bitch for asking for asking for a ride home/uber$ they stop hanging out.
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Nudes leaked.
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So in 2016 while I was staying at his he recorded a video of him cumming on my face (nearly in my eye the cunt) and sent it to my boyfriend (upon his request) a year goes by and I find out that the video has ended up in multiple people's phones even though we all agreed to not share it. Also if you sent nudes to him while we lived together there's a big chance hes shown me.

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Triggers and trauma (CSA warning)
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He knew I have a big issue with velour/velvet and fabrics similar. For the longest time I thought it was just a sensory thing til my nan read me an police report and affidavit over the phone describing how my grandfather and father would bind me in a velour blanket and rape me. Genuinely distraught I told Jesse that I finally knew why it made me so repulsed and he said he'd finally clean up the ocean of fabric around the loungeroom. He never did and infact brought more!!! He also regularly told "jokes" about my father raping me, which oh boy that's a fun introduction. Like fully I'll be like g'day I'm Anakie I'm a chef and my dad gave me chlamydia when I was 3 lol. But that's MY darkness to share not yours. Ive talked to him about the dangers of outing trans people, and to stop telling people my life story but it didn't stop.
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Suicide.
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A few times while living with him I had a couple self harming/suicidal gestures, first time he caught me and consoled me, was a really strong support and ensured me that I'd be ok and that I'd make it to top surgery. Second time was after he called me his little bitch and I got caught on the fence while jumping on the train tracks. Third I self harmed again and intended to OD. I promised myself once I had testosterone the suicide had to stop because I don't want to be taken off T if I fuck up, or if I successfully completed suicide I didn't want some terf using my death against me. After a year scar free kooking at my callender I mentioned that hey, look at me in sh free for a year! And he said that he's really glad because he was getting sick of constantly having to save me and that if I did kill myself he didn't want to have to find a new housemate.
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H is a powerful divider. (Drug use and sui warning)
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In December, after class (which he hated that I was going to class because that meant I was doing something with my life) I got a phone call from one of my brother's saying another brother had killed himself. It really shook me up badly so I called around and relapsed after three years sober. I know they say relapse doesn't erase progress but it really felt like it. Jesse came home and threw a rant about how he really hates meth/drug users because he met one that night that said they weren't ashamed of it. I said I really don't want to hear him and tonight's not great cause I relapsed and that one of my baby brothers is dead. (For those who follow my fucked life I have 14 brothers, 13 are my father's one is my mother's) he scoffed it off and went to his room and then stopped talking to me at all. It was clear I was a junkie to him. A couple days before moving out I sent him a message about some of the more recent garbage behaviour he's had and his response was incredibly fake and that he was just a shit person 🤷🤷🤷
I'm gonna stop before I go even more bald.
If you screenshot this/report it go off I guess👍 big brave hero you are.