Blairjay

Good things? In MY me?

Apr 22nd, 2021
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  1. [Cheliyi visits the Master Ravenwood bearing gifts; she talks to Evette and Liah for a bit before following Esei.]
  2.  
  3. Cheliyi follows you ether.
  4. A crossroads within an old wyrden wood.
  5. The shadowy outline of a twisted forest casts a dark gloom here. A subtle beat perpetuates in the air, resonating with the natural sounds of wildlife. The sky above the crossroads is a pale, dusky purple during the lightest of times and pitch-black during midnight, leaving a sense of a sky with neither sun nor moon. A single lamp post has been erected here, its lantern glowing with a pale lavender glow. Muginn, the ghost-feathered magpie perches here with a mischievous glint in his eye. You see a sign here instructing you to use the PORTAL command to enter the aetherplex system.
  6. You see exits leading north, northeast, east, southeast, south, southwest, west, and northwest.
  7.  
  8. Cheliyi's mauve frills twitch to some errant sound.
  9.  
  10. You have emoted: Esei leans down, pressing their damp nose gently to Cheliyi's forehead.
  11.  
  12. Cheliyi blinks.
  13.  
  14. Frown pulling at their lupine face, you ask Cheliyi, "All is well?"
  15.  
  16. Cheliyi's shoulders lower from their previously stern set, and she looks away. "I like Liah a lot. If she is mad at me, she is mad at me. But otherwise, yes. Nothing insane is occuring in Celest. Thought I'd just... bring food like you do sometimes."
  17.  
  18. You shake your head.
  19.  
  20. You have emoted: Esei gently pokes at Cheliyi's chest, right over her heart.
  21.  
  22. Cheliyi blinks.
  23.  
  24. You frown at Cheliyi.
  25. 23:17:29 With smoky, august tones, you say to Cheliyi, "...I cannot tell what is wrong, or why, but something about you is... off, somehow. Off-balanced."
  26.  
  27. Cheliyi looks down at the finger poking her chest, and then looks up at you. She blinks, and looks away. "Unbalanced?"
  28.  
  29. You have emoted: Esei gives a shallow nod, nose twitching as they seem to avoid the urge to snuffle at Cheliyi's head.
  30.  
  31. After a moment, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids says, "I'm doing better in Celest, truly. But I do not want to..."
  32.  
  33. You swivel your ears towards Cheliyi, listening with rapt attention.
  34.  
  35. Cheliyi looks up at you with a sudden sharpness, her gaze narrowing. Her lips seal shut, and like a door closing, so does the vulnerability in her eyes. "It does not matter."
  36.  
  37. Softly, you ask Cheliyi, "Do you think I will be unkind to you, that I will hurt you, simply for telling me the truth?"
  38.  
  39. Cheliyi glances aside, guarded. "... you listen." It takes a moment, but it soon becomes obvious that she's eyeing the shadows nearby with clear irritation.
  40.  
  41. With smoky, august tones, you ask, "I do. Is that a bad thing?"
  42.  
  43. You have emoted: Esei gently rests a paw-like hand on Cheliyi's shoulder. "Are people not listening to you?"
  44.  
  45. Cheliyi suddenly rubs at her eyes, deflating. "I don't speak to anyone anymore. Not truly like that. I just speak to the flowers. They can hear, but they don't care or tell me anything back. Poor Cheliyi this, terrible Wyrd that." She mutters, rolling her shoulders. "Every time I share, it is used against me, or misinterpreted and made worse."
  46.  
  47. With smoky, august tones, you say, "Mm."
  48.  
  49. [Moving!]
  50.  
  51. An airy meditation area.
  52. The shadowy outline of a twisted forest casts a dark gloom here. A simple gazebo set atop a solid dais of stone makes up the center of this space, dark sheer drapes hanging from it. Vines and ivy writhe up the wooden columns, claiming it as theirs. Hooks hang from the gazebo's upper frame, shiny and evidently new, so that the drapes may be pulled aside if needed. Several plush rugs line the meditation area, pillows carefully strewn about for various uses. Constant wind, although subtle, blows perpetually within the room, stirring the drapes to cause soft whispering sounds. The surrounding flowers include gardenia, gladiolus, mixed with heather and white lavender; king protea and queen anne's lace grow in clusters near gazebo's posts. Muginn, the ghost-feathered magpie perches here with a mischievous glint in his eye.
  53. You see a single exit leading south.
  54.  
  55. Cheliyi blinks.
  56.  
  57. You have emoted: Esei settles on a large cushion, stretching out their dark legs.
  58.  
  59. You tilt your head curiously at Cheliyi.
  60.  
  61. Cheliyi slowly trails in afterwards, sitting beside a pillow to bundle it up in her arms.
  62.  
  63. You murmur softly to yourself.
  64.  
  65. [Esei turns into a trill from loboshigaru.]
  66.  
  67. You lazily draw your wings to and fro through the air, fanning them slowly.
  68.  
  69. In dark, lyrical tones, you say, "Cheliyi... I know I can be merciless, at times. Even cruel. That is a part of me as easily as being a changeling is, and not something I can refute."
  70.  
  71. Her mauve frills twitching, Cheliyi's dull pupils dilate as she zeros in on you's voice.
  72.  
  73. In dark, lyrical tones, you say to Cheliyi, "But I am here to listen, and here to help, if you wish it."
  74.  
  75. Cheliyi rocks in place for a moment, before crossing her legs to sit more comfortably. The mugwump seems to fidget in place for a moment more, before glancing up again at you. The suspicion persists, yet something seems to give way. "... I do not think it is something you can help. But... I do appreciate it. I know you are who you are. I do not expect different, and yet I throw myself at the wall all the same."
  76.  
  77. Gently, you ask, "Is it truly a wall? Or do you just see it as one?"
  78.  
  79. Cheliyi stares implacably at you.
  80.  
  81. You have emoted: Esei quirks a single brow, clearly willing to wait.
  82.  
  83. Dryly, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids says, "Perhaps it is not a wall. It's like a pillow, with a knife hidden in it. Pleasant to hug on occasions, but it will stab you just as easily."
  84.  
  85. In dark, lyrical tones, you ask, "Would you enjoy a hug, then?"
  86.  
  87. Cheliyi blinks.
  88.  
  89. Cheliyi stares at you warily. "Are you going to stab me?" she mutters, gaze somehow slightly... off.
  90.  
  91. You have emoted: Esei raises a single brow, before asking, "Do you want me to?"
  92.  
  93. Cheliyi blinks again, the previous expression gone in a snap. "Not reallys, no. A hug would be nice, though."
  94.  
  95. In dark, lyrical tones, you say, "Then no, I will not stab you."
  96.  
  97. You have emoted: Esei relaxes against the pillow, arms and wings spreading slightly as an offer.
  98.  
  99. Cheliyi stares down at your arms, and then back up at their face with thinned lips. Slowly, she releases the pillow from her clutches and shuffles over to the trill, hugging them gently around their torso.
  100.  
  101. Cheliyi sighs quietly.
  102.  
  103. You have emoted: Esei wraps their arms securely around Cheliyi, wings folding around the both of them as the changeling gently snuggles the mugwump into their chest. "It's alright," they say softly. "I'm here."
  104.  
  105. You feel Cheliyi suddenly tremble in your embrace, the mugwump wordlessly tightening her arms ever so slightly. "Are you sure?" she murmurs, muffled by fabric. "I could just be sleeping, again."
  106.  
  107. You have emoted: Esei gently cards their finely-boned hand through Cheliyi's hair, a faint rumble rising in their chest before they speak. "Yes, I am here. I will listen to you."
  108.  
  109. Cheliyi exhales slowly, allowing a long fluid breath to creep from her lungs.
  110.  
  111. You think to yourself: ** gentle popping lights, like fireflies. i-am-real, i-exist, i-am-allowed. **.
  112.  
  113. Into their chest, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids murmurs, "I feel unworthy. I know I am unworthy of the Wyrd, that is simply a given, but as someone who was Wyrden, who cannot even begin to truly trust the Light... I do not feel like I am allowed to be in their spaces. They don't like shadows. What if they think I am somehow dragging shadows in? I feel like I cannot let go. I do not want to let go. But now it feels like limbo, even as I am a part of the City, a part of the Light."
  114.  
  115. Like a gentle ripple in a crystalline pool, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids murmurs, "Everything is so clean and bright and I feel like I am tracking dirt in with my steps. Nothing is -wrong- with dirt, but it feels rude."
  116.  
  117. You have emoted: Esei's hand soothes past Cheliyi's frill, briefly resting lightly against the frond before resuming its gentle motions. "Consider it like this - do -they- deserve -you-?"
  118.  
  119. Bitterly cynical, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids says, "Well, when you put it that way, it makes it sound like I am a plague on their streets."
  120.  
  121. A wry smile spreads across Cheliyi's face.
  122.  
  123. Cheliyi glances askance.
  124. 23:52:59 Like a gentle ripple in a crystalline pool, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids says, "Am kidding, am kidding."
  125.  
  126. Musingly, you ask, "Have they done their best to make you feel at home? Reassure you that you belong? Seek to destroy your fears and doubts?"
  127.  
  128. In dark, lyrical tones, you ask, "Oh, yes, certainly, they have been kind to you, have not excluded you. But have they -included- you either?"
  129.  
  130. Cheliyi's frills twitch, and she grows quiet, considering. "... In some ways, yes. Dad showed me some trees, Mister Dad keeps helping my doubts and anger when he can... Miss Aeldra is nice as well. Keep telling me I am not an intruder, that it is my home now." She sighs, and leans into your chest once more. "It does not stop the whispers."
  131.  
  132. You have emoted: Esei's wings flex, black and plum feathers sweeping gently against Cheliyi's back.
  133.  
  134. In dark, lyrical tones, you ask, "The whispers of your own mind, jatasere, or ones outside yourself?"
  135.  
  136. Quietly, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids says, "Hard to tell the difference, anymore."
  137.  
  138. The sky's lavender twists darker as night approaches, a twilit shade of dusky mauve seeping over the pale lavender of the bowl of the sky, slowly darkening as the evening grows long.
  139. Shadows grow longer in anticipation for the return of their dark mistress as Father Sun's chase brings him closer to the world's edge.
  140.  
  141. You have emoted: Moving their hand down, Esei rubs gently at Cheliyi's upper back, humming a low tune. "Do you think you can listen to a story?"
  142.  
  143. Cheliyi visibly relaxes, her tail flicking back and forth in slow, almost lazy motions. "I can."
  144.  
  145. Softly, you say, "Not too long ago, I thought I was unworthy. Of the Wyrd, of the Glomdoring, of my rank and position."
  146.  
  147. Softly, you say, "In spite of all my accomplishments, and skills, and abilities, I still could not -see- what others had. Anything at all, from a glance to a word, would grind against any self confidence I had managed to build between wakings."
  148.  
  149. Cheliyi nods slightly, her frills drooping. "I remember. Kept trying to show you what I saw, before."
  150.  
  151. In dark, lyrical tones, you say to Cheliyi, "It was not directly my fault. I had long since grown out of tearing myself down on purpose."
  152.  
  153. In dark, lyrical tones, you say to Cheliyi, "But the mortal mind is a powerful thing, especially when it reinforces a bias that you have no reason -not- to believe."
  154.  
  155. Cheliyi slowly nods, content to listen.
  156.  
  157. You have emoted: Esei gently brushes Cheliyi's hair from her face, dark eyes searching. "Do understand that my circumstances will be different from yours," they say softly, easing against the pillow. "But I learned from Brother Crow best, and Lord Nocht's Amalgam - these were not the only wisdoms I learned to understand better during my meditations, but the clearest ones."
  158.  
  159. In dark, lyrical tones, you ask Cheliyi, "Do you have any such teachings with the Light? With the Waters? Do any resonate with you, or simple... fall flat?"
  160.  
  161. The sky achieves full shadow, a pitch black expanse with only a few gasping, drowning stars for light stretching overhead. There is but a gaping hole where the moon should reside, as if the astrological body has been torn from its orbit.
  162. Midnight shadows coalesce around a new day, and Mother Night embraces the land in utter darkness.
  163.  
  164. Cheliyi follows along with little fuss, her dull gaze distant and considering. "I know it is different." The mugwump glances up at you through her tinted spectacles, meeting their searching evenly. "I... I don't know. I stopped listening to other teachings, I suppose. Slowly dipping in to the water. There are the Supernals, who teach compassion, justice, vigilance, and defense. And Miss Eloh...ora? Who is all of their light combined." She pauses again, and smiles faintly. "Lady Raziela is my favorite, of them. Though, I do worry about her safety, a bit."
  165.  
  166. In dark, lyrical tones, you ask, "And what does Raziela teach?"
  167.  
  168. Like a gentle ripple in a crystalline pool, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids says, "Lady Raziela is the Loving Radiance. A bit cheesy, I know. But she teaches to find compassion and love for everyone in your heart, to try and see them for who they are. She -actually- loves everyone, though. Even those who mean her harm. It's... a bit worry, in that way."
  169.  
  170. Raising a single eyebrow, you say, "...I see."
  171.  
  172. The ghost of a smile passes fleetingly across Cheliyi's lips.
  173.  
  174. You have emoted: Esei adjusts their arms, pulling Cheliyi up their chest to allow the mugwump to nestle her head into the crook of their neck if desired.
  175.  
  176. Like a gentle ripple in a crystalline pool, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids says, "Well. It's a nice place to sit in. Very comforting. I also like... er.. Lady Sh... oh man."
  177.  
  178. In dark, lyrical tones, you say, "Shakiniel, I believe?"
  179.  
  180. Like a gentle ripple in a crystalline pool, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids says, "Shak... yes, that. She is about defending anyone who needs it, to protect who might be hurt. Still tells you to make sure you take care of yourself first, or else you will not be able to defend anyone."
  181.  
  182. You hum thoughtfully.
  183.  
  184. In dark, lyrical tones, you say, "Sounds similar to something Lord Shikari teaches."
  185.  
  186. In dark, lyrical tones, you say to Cheliyi, "...as much as I adored you in Lord Nocht's order... you would have been a better fit for the Lord Predator's Pack."
  187.  
  188. You think to yourself: ** a deep, languishing ache, deep inside their chest, flickering for a moment before it is gone on the morning wind. **.
  189.  
  190. Cheliyi leans up against you, closing her eyes. "Mm, really? I suppose I should have.... asked more at the time," she murmurs, her frills twitching. "I did enjoy a lot of my time in His Order, though," the mugwump admits, unguarded. "Even if..."
  191.  
  192. Cheliyi sighs quietly, her frills drooping as her tail drags on the ground behind her.
  193.  
  194. Gently prompting, you say, "Even if...?"
  195.  
  196. Her expression pinching with a suddenly wounded frown, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids murmurs, "He kept hurting people I care about... I was too blind to notice."
  197.  
  198. The sky becomes streaky with shades of pale blues and purples, spilling like watercolors across the twilit canvas, before lightening to a pale periwinkle for just a moment before sliding gradually back to lavender.
  199. The last vestiges of midnight shadows flee as Mother Night hides herself from the luminous arrival of her shining mate as he chases her across the bowl of the sky.
  200.  
  201. Gently, you ask Cheliyi, "And who were those people?"
  202.  
  203. Cheliyi sighs wearily. "Well, He hurt Dad. Didn't even know, for so many years. Sure they are "lessons," but when they don't work again and again, it just becomes cruel, doesn't it?" The mugwump suddenly freezes, like a deer looking down the end of a gnomeweapon. "... I know you still love Him, as you should, and I... still love Him, even as I shouldn't. But He hurt me too. I do not know. It's just... I don't..."
  204.  
  205. Cheliyi shakes her head.
  206.  
  207. You have emoted: Esei gently smooths their hand over Cheliyi's back. "And you do not think He has hurt me?"
  208.  
  209. Quietly, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids says, "I know He has."
  210.  
  211. In dark, lyrical tones, you ask, "Do you?"
  212.  
  213. Bitterly, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids says, "He hurts everyone He meets at some point. It only makes sense. A lessons, a punishment, whatever He decides to call it. It just makes sense, to expect it."
  214.  
  215. Quieter, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids says, "It may help some people grow. But it would not help me."
  216.  
  217. You shake your head.
  218.  
  219. In dark, lyrical tones, you say, "No, it was a very long time ago. I do not think I even told anyone outside of Lady Rancoura."
  220.  
  221. In dark, lyrical tones, you say, "I cannot blame Him, for He was not aware of the fact at the time. But He did hurt me, for seemingly no reason at all."
  222.  
  223. Frills twitching idly, Cheliyi closes her eyes and tunes in.
  224.  
  225. In dark, lyrical tones, you ask Cheliyi, "Do you know what He told me, repeating again and again?"
  226.  
  227. Cheliyi shakes her head.
  228.  
  229. In dark, lyrical tones, you say, "That everything would be okay."
  230.  
  231. You have emoted: Esei shrugs gently. "And... it was."
  232.  
  233. In dark, lyrical tones, you say, "It is okay. It will be okay."
  234.  
  235. Cheliyi blinks slowly.
  236.  
  237. Quietly, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids says, "That's kind of Him."
  238.  
  239. You close your eyes and inhale deeply, absorbing the scent of your surroundings.
  240. You let loose a long breath from your lungs, exhaling slowly.
  241.  
  242. The sky brightens to a warm, brilliant blue before the light dissipates into scintillating patterns across the daytime sky, distorting first into filigree silver and gold, then into dusky lavender. There is an odd absence where the Sun ought to be, leaving the daytime air cold and welcoming.
  243. The sun reaches the zenith of the firmament, pausing in his quest to allow the land to bask in his shining golden rays.
  244.  
  245. Leaning forward, you gently press a kiss to Cheliyi's brow.
  246.  
  247. In dark, lyrical tones, you say, "My point is this: you are already worthy of wherever you go, whether it be the Wyrd or the Light or anywhere else in the Basin."
  248.  
  249. In dark, lyrical tones, you ask, "You have to decide for yourself if that place is worthy of you, if its people are worthy of you, its culture, its teachings. Do they suit you? Do they welcome you? Do they love you?"
  250.  
  251. Cheliyi smiles faintly at the affection and pulls away, sighing softly. "I suppose you are right, in this. Although, the concept of something being worthy of me is a bit foreign."
  252.  
  253. In dark, lyrical tones, you ask, "Why is that?"
  254.  
  255. Amused, Cheliyi, Whisperer of Squids says, "It was always what can you do for the Wyrd, not what the Wyrd can do for you. I suppose I have not called the worthiness of another into question, before."
  256.  
  257. In dark, lyrical tones, you say, "Mm. I suppose that is true. But one must take what they can outside the Wyrd."
  258.  
  259. In dark, lyrical tones, you say, "Not that anyone should be outside the Wyrd, but, well. I know your opinion on that."
  260.  
  261. Cheliyi chuckles softly, her frilled tail flicking idly with amusement.
  262.  
  263. You have emoted: Esei looks as though they would pearls, if they had any hands free to do so.
  264.  
  265. Inhaling sharply, Cheliyi puffs out her frills in your direction and utters a soft squeak.
  266.  
  267. Cheliyi nods her head sagely.
  268.  
  269. With a content sigh, Cheliyi leans up against you, blinking drowsily.
  270.  
  271. You pet Cheliyi ingratiatingly.
  272.  
  273. Cheliyi's lips quirk into a smile.
  274.  
  275. Cheliyi slowly begins to sag in your arms, falling utterly asleep.
  276.  
  277. In dark, lyrical tones, you whisper, "I am sorry you are struggl-."
  278.  
  279. You blink.
  280.  
  281. Cheliyi's mauve frills twitch to some errant sound.
  282.  
  283. Cheliyi mumbles a quiet "Mhrm?"
  284.  
  285. You have emoted: Esei murmurs faintly in amusement, rubbing Cheliyi's back in order to usher her back to sleep. They tip their head back, staring up at the dusky sky above.
  286.  
  287. Cheliyi dozes off once more, mumbling out a quiet "Love you," as she curls up.
  288.  
  289. Leaning forward, you gently press a kiss to Cheliyi's brow.
  290.  
  291. Cheliyi murmurs contentedly.
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