Jacob's Loss AU

Jacob: *holding on to Emi's hand... why has she stopped moving?*
Emi- *very still, eyes shut.*
Doctor- *has rushed to fetch the resuscitation equipment, leaving the nurse with the newborn. He returns quickly, Defibrillator at the ready*
Jacob: *sees the defib. and starts to panic* Emi...? *squeezes her hand* Emi?!
Doctor- <Please don't touch her, sir..!>
JAcob: *it hurts badly, but he lets go of her hand* Emi! Emi!! <Oh, God, no!>
Doctor- *after a while, he gives up, the defib not doing any good.* <I'm sorry sir.>
Jacob: *the second they stop trying he leans over the bed, cradling Emi's body. He's muttering things, but he's too far gone for them to make any sense, mostly just repeating her name*
Doctor- *carefully picks up the little baby, cradling her as he walks back to Jacob* <Sir...your daughter...>
Jacob: ...*almost seems to not hear him at first, but eventually he looks up, in absolutely terrible shape... but there she is. The only little bit he has left of her. He reaches out. After learning how easy it is to lose someone, he's going to take her and never let her go*
Doctor- <be careful with her...> *feels really bad for poor Jacob, he's just so broken looking...*
Jacob: *nods, holding the tiny baby close to him* <I... I w-will...> *he looks down at her. Those are /her/ eyes...*
Doctor- <do...you have a name for her...?> *touches Jacob's shoulder* <Let's go sit in another room...>
Jacob: *nods* <A-Abigail... a...and... Just one second...> *he takes Abby into one arm, being very careful as he leans over Emi's face, running his other hand through her beautiful black hair one last time. He kisses her cheek, tears spilling onto her face* <I...I love you...>
Doctor- *gives him a sad look, and instructs the nurse to fetch some things for them* <Come on...>
Jacob: *nods, whispering one last thing to her* <T..thank you, Emi... f-for everything.> *he gets up and follows the doctor out, still holding Abby close*
Doc- *takes him to an empty room, and sits on a chair next to the bed* <You have...somewhere to stay, yes? Will you be okay with her by yourself...?>
Jacob: *nods* <P-please let me keep her... W-we have a place...>
Doc- *nods* <I'm going to show you some things you'll need to know to take care of her, then.>
Jacob: <A-alright...> *he's still rather hollow inside from having Emi just ripped from his life, but he's willing to force himself to listen if it'll keep her last gift to him alive and healthy...*
*the nurse comes in and gives the doctor a package, before leaving again*
Doc- <Have you ever cared for a child before?>
Jacob: ...*no use in lying* <N-no...>
Doc- <Alright.> *takes out a few things for the package, including a bottle* <I had my nurse get some special newborn formula and make up a bottle of it, so I can show you how to feed her.>
Abby- *starting to fuss*
Jacob: <alright... O-oh!> *hears Abby's fussing* Shh, shh... *gently pets her tiny face*
Doc- *hands him the bottle* <Support her head, and hold her slightly upright. Offer her the bottle, and make sure the nipple if filled with formula>
Jacob: *nods, carefully positioning Abby and getting everything right. He offers her the bottle*
Abby- mmmnn... *waves her little arms a bit, before trying to latch on*
Jacob: Shh, shh... <That's it, Abby...>
Abby- *suckles hungrily, shutting her eyes*
Doc- <How're you holding up...?>
Jacob: ...<I... I don't know...> *he doesn't take his eyes off Abby*
Doc- <...do you have any income?>
Jacob: ...*his head drops* <n..no... s-she was...>*tiny sob* <g-going to school... w-working as a nurse...>
Doc- <I know.> *rests his chin on his hands* <I worked with Emi.>
Jacob: <Y-you did...?> *looks up for just a second*
Doc- *nods* <She is...was...a sweet thing. So excited for the little one's birth...>
Jacob: ....*he can't even respond to that, head tilting down. Tears fall from his face onto the blanket that Abby's wrapped in*
Doc- <I think...I may be able to help you. She would have wanted you and your daughter to be taken care of.>
Jacob: <Anything... p-please...anything you can do t-to let me keep her...>
Doc- <I will take care of you. When you have recovered and mourned for as long as you need, I will have work for you.> *offers his hand to shake* <I am Alois Lowe.>
Jacob: ..*looks back up at him, still looking terribly shaken. He stares at his hand for a second as if not sure what to do, but then remembers where he is, reaching out and taking it*
Alois- *smiles* <when she's done eating I will show you how to put a diaper on her.>
Jacob: *nods* <A-alright...> *his gaze returns to Abby, taking in every little thing about her*
Abby- *has her tiny hands resting on the bottle, eyes half-open now. She's so small and still pink, not even an hour old. She has wispy blonde hair, and her eyes are a deep blue, the same as her mother's*
Jacob: Abby... You're so beautiful, did you know that? *he very, very gently pets at her hair; it's the same color as his own... and her eyes... they're Emi's* J...just like she was,Abby...
Abby- *her unfocused gaze shifts so she's looking in his direction mostly. She's still drinking happily from the bottle, so small and warm in his arms*
Jacob: ...*he actually smiles a little* I love you Abby... D...do you remember me? *strokes over her soft little face* D-do you know my voice...?
Abby- mmnnn... *wriggles a bit in response, looking up at him*
Jacob: *his smile grows* Y-you do remember... Abby... Daddy loves you, Abby...
Abby- mmn. *spits out the bottle when she's done*
Jacob: Oh...! *takes it away* Uhm... <W-what do I do now...?>
Alois- <Burp her... here I'll do it this time, you watch.> *offers his arms out for the little newborn*
Jacob: ...*is reluctant to hand her over for a second, but eventually does, eyes locked on his child*
Alois- *gently demonstrates how to burp her*
Jacob: *watching carefully* <Oh... a-alright, then...> *seems eager to get Abby back*
Alois- *gives her back before getting out a diaper and telling him how to put it on her*
Jacob: *still taking in everything, listening and doing everything he's told*
Alois- *after showing him all he can, he gets to his feet* <...we will be releasing Emi's body soon enough...I'll contact you.>
Jacob: ...*hearing about that causes a stab of pain in his heart* <Y-yeah.. alright...>
Alois- <And...she'll have to stay here overnight.> *gently touches Abby's little head*
Jacob: <O-oh... I... g-guess they don't want me staying here, either...>
Alois- <I'm sorry. You can come her her first thing.>
Jacob: *still sitting down, he nuzzles into Abby's little belly* <I w-will... T-thank you...>
Alois- <Would you like a moment alone...?>
Jacob: <J..just give me another second with her...> *kisses Abby's soft little cheek*
Alois- *nods and goes to wait outside*
Jacob: *nuzzle* Abby.. sweet little Abby... *he softly starts singing to her, pressing his face to her, just taking in every second he can be with her... she's all he has left after all*
Abby- *rests a tiny hand on his cheek* mmnn...~
Jacob: mm...you're so sweet, Abby... *he keeps singing, turning to kiss her little hand, too*
Abby- *shuts her eyes and yawns, patting his face*
Jacob: Oh... a-are you tired, Abby?
Abby- *answers with another yawn*
Jacob: O-oh... alright, Abby... well,I guess if you're gonna sleep... *kisses her again* I love you Abby...I'll be right here tomorrow, and I'll take you home then... *he holds her a little longer*
Abby- *drifts to sleep in his arms*
Jacob: ...*a few more tears fall down onto her blanket. A little longer and he finally forces himself up, leaving the room*
Alois- *waiting quietly outside*
Jacob: ...*goes up to him* <T...take care of her...>
Alois- <Let's get her to bed... you should go home and rest...do you need a ride?>
Jacob: *goes ahead and nods to that; he just wants to get away for now, shame he can't take Abby with him yet..*
Alois- *leads him to the nursery, and directs him to the crib for her* <If you are quiet you can stay here a few more minutes while I finish my rounds, then I can take you home.>
Jacob: ...*nods* <Alright...> *very gently sets Abby down, petting through her hair*
Alois- *pats his shoulder then leaves for his rounds*
Jacob: *spends that time with Abby, being very quiet as to not wake her or the other babies there*
Alois- *returns after a while, and gently touches his arm* <let's go.>
Jacob: *nods, saying a quiet goodbye to his little daughter before following Alois out. He looks downright awful, even though his daughter was born he's still wearing every bit of sadness from losing his love in his appearance*
Alois- *drives him home, staying quiet to let him mourn. He pulls up in front of teh flat* <here you are..>
Jacob: <Thank you... I'll be back t-tomorrow...soon as I can...> *voice trails off. He leaves the car, going up and just collapsing on the bed. She's still here. Her clothes are still there in the closet, her things are still gathered up here and there... the bed even still smells like her. It all just serves to make the gaping hole in him ache even more*
*the little sunflower in the vase is still on the windowsill*
Jacob: ...*he peers up at it. And that just breaks him. He curls into himself, shivering all over, beyond tears now*
Jacob: ...*eventually he just seems to lose consciousness through sheer emotional exhaustion. His sleep is cold and dreamless*
*when morning breaks, the sun falls through the window, lighting the room slowly with the first fingers of rosy dawn*
Jacob: *somewhere during his sleep he'd grabbed a bunch of blankets. He wakes up and realizing that it's not Emi's warm body he's holding... the haze of sleep lifts, replaced by the dull throb of emptiness that not only is he not holding her now, but he never will again.... Abby! He has to get Abby! He gets up, rushing to put on something and dashes out the door to the only light he has left*
Alois- *already there, tending to Abby, since he expects Jacob will be there soon. He's gently cradling her and feeding her*
Jacob:*bursts through the door, getting the instructions on where she'd be.He finds them* Abby!
Alois- <Good morning, Jacob.> *smile*
Jacob: <H-hello...S-she's alright then...?> *moving over, close to his daughter*
Alois- <She's just feeding now, then we can get her ready to go home.>
Jacob <Good...T-thank you again...>
Alois- <How are you holding up...?>
Jacob: *he still looks pretty bad, like he didn't sleep, even though he did* <It'll be b-better when I get her home...>
Alois- <Are you sure?> *takes the bottle when she's done, and starts to put her into her clean clothes, before gently wrapping her in a blanket and putting a tiny pink hat on her*
Jacob: *nods* <Y-yeah... J..just need her...> *smiling a little as he sees her little clothes on her* <T-thank you so much for everything...>
Alois- <It's the least I could do...> *gently hands her to him*
Jacob: *takes Abby gently, holding her close* <It... it really d-does mean a lot...>
Alois- <I'll stop by later if you want.>
Abby- *reaches up and tries to touch his face*
Jacob: *leans his head down and lets her touch him, smiling a little* <I... I s-suppose... I'm g-going to need t-to be able to s-support her...>
Alois- <Try and relax, alright...? You and her need rest, you've both been through a lot.>
Jacob: <Y-yeah... o-okay... thanks.> *nuzzles the little baby*
Abby- *rests her palms on his face* mnnn
Jacob: *kisses Abby* <A-alright...I should b-bring her home now...>
Alois- <Take care.> *touches his shoulder*
Jacob: *nods* <T-thank you...> *he holds Abby close and starts to head home*
Abby- *rests against his chest and gurgles the whole way*
*there's a bit of snow falling*
Jacob: *does his best to shield Abby from the cold and snow, getting her home safely. The first thing he does is take her back to the bed, curling around her a bit, cuddling her close*
Abby- *curls up against his chest, warm and soft in his arms*
Jacob: Abby... *he takes off her little hat, running his fingers gently through her wispy hair* Sweet little Abby... *he doesn't leave this spot for a long time, completely absorbed in being with his tiny daughter. She is his life now, both his and the last little bit of Emi he has left.*
Abby- *falls asleep with him, her little hands holding his shirt*
Jacob: ...*it's a while before he wakes up, at least a few hours. He looks down at Abby and then realizes what he has to do. He gets up, feeding and changing her, doing all these things without really even thinking about them*
Abby- *fusses a bit, but calms when taken care of, seeming happy*
Jacob: That's a good girl, Abby... *when he's done he sits down, holding her to his chest*
Abby- *holds onto his shirt again*
Jacob: *smiles at her* So sweet, Abby... *goes back to petting her hair, leaning down and kissing her tiny forehead*
Abby- *gurgles happily*
Jacob: *starts to sing to her again, rocking her very, very gently*
Abby- *watching and listening to him attentively, eyes locked on him*
Jacob: *looks right back into her eyes, still singing. He starts tearing up a bit*
Abby- *gently tugs his shirt and gurgles*
Jacob: ..*he's flat-out crying again* I love you so much, Abby...
Abby- *wriggles a bit, unable to do much else* mnmnnn..
Jacob: *is mostly just happy to be there with her, though he does have a flicker of a thought of when Alois is going to show up*
Alois- *after another hour or so, he does show, knocking on the door*
Jacob: Oh...! *he gets up and answers the door, balancing abby carefully* <Hello...>
Alois- *smiles* <May I come in?> *he has a large box in his arms, which has a few paper bags in it*
Jacob: *eyes flicker to the box* Uhm.. <Yeah... *steps aside and lets him in*
Alois- *nods and moves to the kitchen, putting the box on the table* <I got you a few things.>
Jacob: Oh... <T-thank you...> *follows him, still wondering just what's going on here*
Alois- <I hope I'm not intruding too much... Emi was like a daughter to me, and I want to make sure her child and lover are taken care of.> *unpacking teh box, taking out things for Abby, like formula and clothes, and groceries*
Jacob: <N-not at all...> *looks on in amazement at this generosity* <T-thank you so much. T-this is...> *he smiles a little bit*
Alois- <All I ask is that you work for me when you can, as part of a...side busness I have going.> *putting things away* <Is there anything else you need picked up? medication, special dietary needs, and so on?>
Jacob: <I'll do anything...> *at the mention of medication, he looks down* <Y-yeah... I d-do take something...> *he seems pretty embarrassed to talk about it, but* <A-anti-psychotics...> *his voice trails off*
Alois- *nods* <when you need more, tell me and I will get them for you.>
Jacob: <T-thank you...> *looks back up* <S..so w-what is this job you want me t-to do? P-please... I'll do anything you ask me i-if it'll keep Abby s-supported...>
Alois- *his face and stance become very serious* <You are not to tell anyone about it when I inform you, alright...?>
Jacob: ...*shudders a bit when he sees Alois get so serious* <O-okay... I'll k-keep quiet...>
Alois- <If asked what your job is, you are my personal assistant.> *slips a hand in his pocket* <You may wish to put Abby to bed before we talk.>
Jacob: ...*nods, taking Abby to the little baby bed he and Emi bought before she was born. He sets her down, though he doesn't want to let her go. He pets her little face a few times before going back to Alois*
Alois- *goes and sits in a chair, folding his hands in front of him*
Jacob: *also taking a seat, getting pretty nervous at how serious everything's gotten*
Alois- <What I want you to do will be difficult work, and it may be hard to do at first, but you will learn fast and it pays well.> *withdraws a gun from somewhere inside his coat, and places it on the table*
Jacob: *gasps, his eyes getting huge as he sees the gun* O-oh...
Alois- <In time you will become one of my top hitmen, I hope. I see potental in you, Jacob.>
Jacob: <Y...you want me to..> *swallows, starting to sweat*
Alois- *nods*
Jacob: ...*closes his eyes, trying to steady himself... the only thing that matters is Abby, keeping her healthy and happy* <A...and it will help me keep up Abby... right?>
Alois- <yes. You will be payed enough to keep her well taken care of, and you will be part of my family. I will protect you both.>
Jacob: ...<T...then...I'll do it...>
Alois- *pushes the gun towards him* <Very good. Tell me when you're ready to train.>
Jacob: *nods* <O-okay...> *he's still staring at the gun*
Alois- <Take it.> *smiles*
Jacob: *reaches out with a shaking hand, taking the gun, holding it up and looking it over*
Alois- <Be careful with it.> *gets up* <I will leave you with Abby, then. My number..> *gives him a card with three numbers on it - the hospital, his home, and his...office numbers*
Jacob: <T-thank you...> *looks up at him, taking the card and setting the gun down*
Alois- *pats his shoulder and goes to leave*
Jacob: ...*nods, but lets him go. He's overwhelmed by all of this. First the love of his life dies, leaving him alone with his daughter, andnow he's contracted to be a hired killer... hismind goes rather blank for a while, and, after going to take his pills, he goes back to life for a little while, though it seems like the time blurs by*
--time passes--
Jacob: *at home now, and he's playing with Abby. He's more or less adjusted to this new life*
Abby- *playing with one of his hands, her tiny fingers exploring his skin* mmm... *looks up at him*
Jacob: *smiling at her, letting her do what she will with his hand* What'cha got there, Abby?
Abby- *nuzzles his fingers* mmm... dadaaa~
Jacob: *gasps* A-abby...! D...did you just...! *he smiles huge*
Abby- *smiles cutely* dada.
Jacob: *gets a bit teary-eyed, leaning down and kissing Abby on the cheek* Good girl, Abby!
Abby- *nuzzles him* mmm~~ dadaa~
Jacob: *picks her up into a hug* I love you Abby~! *nuzzles her back*
Abby- *squeals happily and huggles him*
Jacob: *kisses her cheek* Such a good girl! My Abby is so smart~!
Abby- dada~~  *makes a little sound and nuzzles him*
Jacob: *kisses her right on the nose* Who's my little giiiiirl~?
Abby- aaaa.... *nuzzle* aaaaaabbyyyy~! *giggle*
Jacob: *his smile gets even bigger* That's right! Abby is~! *kisskiss*
Abby- mmm *hugs his head, pressing her little cheek to his face*
Jacob: *closes his eyes, blinking a few tears that fall ontoher face* E...Emi would be so proud of you...
Abby- mmmm? *touches at his face when she feels the tears*
Jacob: Y...you're beautiful... j-just like  she was, Abby... *he holds her tight, sobs creeping into his voice*
Abby- *starting to get confused about why her daddy sounds sad, and whimpers a bit*
Jacob: ...*goes quiet for a second, trying to steady his voice* S..Sorry, Abby... B-be happy, okay? Y...you're just like your mommy... *gives her a sad little smile*
Abby- *snuggles against him* mmm... mama...?
Jacob: ...Y...yeah... m-mama's an angel,Abby... a-and she's a..always gonna watch out for you... E...Even though you c-can't see her... s-she loves you...