ghoul shero 1

I really like the idea of ghoul Shirou just. Slowly, unconsciously sliding into the disgusting world of gourmet cannibalism. Like Kirei and Gil just aggressively hang around him and take him to these parties! And they're fun! And Shirou doesn't have to worry about accidentally freaking out and eating someone because everyone at these gourmet dinner parties is there to have a good meal and not smell incredibly appetizing! I can see shirou feeling somewhat comforted being able to feel "safe" and reconnect with cooking in a way that doesn't taste like dirt to him. He doesn't feel like a threat to society which sort of hangs over him when he's around Shinji.

Not that he loves Shinji any less! He's just... so afraid of himself when he's around Shinji that he inadvertently ends up self loathing a lot. So the gourmet thing feels like a freeing way to keep him sane and Shinji safe.

Except he comes home less. His filter about his new dietary needs sort of slips. He's around humans less which means he starts smelling them - and shinji - more as food. And he doesn't even really realize it because even if Shirou believes he's 100% ready to sacrifice himself to keep others safe, his lizard brain survival instinct is making him crave a bit of sanity and, more importantly, prey.

i think he originally kept shinji's arm in hopes that they could have it reattached one day, but without thinking about it he's been cutting thin slices off and eating the arm ever so slowly. Because Shinji was the first human flesh he ever tasted and it has a light, almost sweet taste that he can't get anywhere else. Shinji's arm is special and he honestly craves the taste of it fairly often but has been rationing it because he's scared of what will happen once he eats that last finger.

And eventually one day he comes home drunk and clearly food-sated and just unloads excitedly about what he ate and how much he's been learning about preparing food and enjoying food and what parts of a person are good in what kinds of dishes! He doesn't mean to scare shinji or even imply he'd eat shinji but god, GOD he's so drunk-relieved to not feel like a monster for once. so he casually whips out the arm from the freezer while shinji is right there and cuts off a slice to defrost for some recipe or another he wants to try later.

and because he's shirou minus all the sober neurosis and self consciousness he really doesn't think to try to hide the fact that it's shinji's arm and mb drunk-purrs against shinji a bit about how good he tastes and how much he loves shinji's scent. wonders what kind of wine would pair properly with this. you know - plenty of little things that together just add up to scare the absolute pants off a poor chiwa