the Arab Red Wedding feat. Gramps

<Vereornox> Hey teruzi
<Vereornox> I'm at the red wedding
<Teruzi> Hey Vern. Is it going all right?
<Vereornox> No
<Teruzi> Oh dear
<Teruzi> can't say I'm surprised tho
<Vereornox> the bride's family doesn't dance with the groom's family
<Teruzi> was it the dude side?
<Teruzi> Ah yeah
<Vereornox> that's like
<Teruzi> vair insulting.
<Vereornox> spitting on your mother's grave
<Antioch|GM> I remember having pancakes for dinner along with applesauce and sour cream and a lot of different kinds of wurst.
<Vereornox> that's how they're insulting him
<Antioch|GM> It was a weird experience. We're really used to having pancakes for breakfast in the US.
<Antioch|GM> Liked it, though.
<Teruzi> I -thought- they liked the groom tho?
<Vereornox> Her family
<Vereornox> Not her extended family
<Teruzi> oh well, fuck 'em
<Vereornox> the father of the bride didn't even shake the father of the groom's hand
<Somecrazyguy> https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/230748412331556865/263749992123072522/20161228_202750.jpg - picture of the bride's family sitting down
<Teruzi> aren't the groom's family sort of ... deserving of that treatment?
<Mega|Mendez> I still have trouble parsing 'pancakes' as 'breakfast food'.
<Vereornox> Teruzi: Everyone is a dick here
<Teruzi> pancakes are an anytime food!
<Vereornox> their parents never got along
<Vereornox> but I'm pretty sure someone here will die
<Vereornox> Maybe grandpa
<Vereornox> he's on fire
<Teruzi> Vern you should spit some delicious salty fire before leaving.
<Vereornox> the absolute madman
<Teruzi> Make some noise.
<Vereornox> um
<Vereornox> no
<Vereornox> I'm the observer
<Vereornox> Not the one who wants to get shanked
<Teruzi> you might not even die you big wuss
<Vereornox> Pls ban tuzi for wanting me to die
<Teruzi> I don't want you to die. I want you to speak up.
<Teruzi> it's the wedding of your bro, bruh
<Antioch|GM> It's the difference in toppings, I suspect, Mega
<Antioch|GM> Sugar, strawberries, whipped cream, syrup, honey, chocolate chips, etc.
<Antioch|GM> Dessert for breakfast.
<Mega|Mendez> Heh.
<Teruzi> sounds like a healthy food for me. Yes.
<Teruzi> It has honey and strawberries so it counts a healthy.
<Teruzi> *as
<Somecrazyguy> what is grandpa doing
<Somecrazyguy> to be so labeled an 'absolute madman'?
<Vereornox> you underestimate Arabs Teruzi
<Vereornox> this isn't his wedding
<Vereornox> it's the wedding of the parents
<Vereornox> showing off their children
<Vereornox> Somecrazyguy: he's been dancing so hardcore
<Vereornox> I don't thing I've seen any old man move this smoothly
<Somecrazyguy> vids of the pop and locking please
<Teruzi> Oooh
<Teruzi> that's the ticket. Dance with grandpa who is obviously amazing.
<Faustus> You have to bring the fire when you're close to being cremated.
<Vereornox> he's been in the middle of the circle, I'll try to get a video
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<Vereornox> tuzi
<Vereornox> this music
<Vereornox> is too loud
<Faustus> do your feet hurt
<Vereornox> and my table is next to he fucking speakers
<Teruzi> dance your troubles away you stiff German
<Somecrazyguy> i actually agree
<Somecrazyguy> go dance with the madmen
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<Somecrazyguy> rip vern. last seen dancing at the red wedding.
<Vereornox> lol
<Nick> if you dance it could be perceived as a slight by the non-dancers
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<Teruzi> slight them all.
<Teruzi> they are not -his- family.
<Nick> slights lead to fights
<Nick> figths lead to bites
<Nick> bites lead to rabies
<Teruzi> Vern is already wild. It's fie.
<Teruzi> *fine
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<Somecrazyguy> equal slights
<Somecrazyguy> equal fights
<Somecrazyguy> p.s. i just hope vern will be okay ;_;
<Teruzi> he'll be fiiine. He's not even in the line of cold stares this time. It's not his family on either side.
<Vereornox> lol holy shit
<Vereornox> my camera isn't turning on because battery
<Vereornox> grandpa decked the shit out of one of the bride's cousins
<Somecrazyguy> !!!!!
<Vereornox> and nobody dares to strike back against an old man
<Somecrazyguy> ballroom blitz soon
<FaustBackCookn> Granpa is hardcore
<Teruzi> that man is so lovely
<Vereornox> So from what I could gather
<Vereornox> the man said something about the groom
<Vereornox> and the grandpa just punched him
<Somecrazyguy> That's what happens when you impugn a man's son's son's honor.
<FaustBackCookn> "you dare mock the son of a shepherd!"
<Vereornox> Ohhhhhhhhhh
<Mega|Mendez> Talk shit get hit!
<Vereornox> grandpa took the mic
<Vereornox> from the dj
<Vereornox> and is ripping into the bride's family
<Vereornox> this is why I went to the wedding!
<Vereornox> shit my battery is nearly top
<Vereornox> rip
<Vereornox> I'll update you when I'm home
<Somecrazyguy> holy shit!
<Vereornox> might be soon if the ambulance gets called about the sounds of people getting burned
<Somecrazyguy> vern why didn't you charge your phone you fool
<Somecrazyguy> im so disappointed
<Teruzi> see Vern
<Vereornox> top fucking Jesus Christ and Muhammad pbuh,  "We are all fearing God but people should know the fear of man before the fear of Allah"
<Teruzi> you could have been that cool grandpa
<Teruzi> Oooh man
<Teruzi> That dude is so good. So fucken good.
<Somecrazyguy> 10/10 vern you need to buy this man a drink
<Thalia|Fidler> Muslim, though.
<Somecrazyguy> oh right
<Somecrazyguy> fuark
<Somecrazyguy> buy him a burger? idk man just tip him.
<Teruzi> >_>
<Teruzi> thank him. You can thank him.
<Vereornox> "If I only sat with honest men for dinner and weddings I'd only sit with my wonderful family"
<Vereornox> daaaaamn
<FaustBackCookn> wew
<Somecrazyguy> absolutely savage
<FaustBackCookn> Grandpa is hardcore
<Vereornox> the grandpa of the bride is red in the face
<Vereornox> I think he'll burst his arteries in a bit
<Vereornox> hahahahhaah
<Wildbow> I'm glad you're having a good time, Vern
<Somecrazyguy> vern is a monster
<Somecrazyguy> enjoying what should be the happiest of days going to shit
<Vereornox> "Allah made us to he different and tested on this base earth but truly, sitting here today was the greatest challenge in my 83 years on this earth"
<Thalia|Fidler> Well, what language has a word for 'happiness at the misfortune of others'?
<Wildbow> Schadenfreude
<Somecrazyguy> German
<Wildbow> German
<Wildbow>  /first!
<Somecrazyguy> I answered the question first doe
<Somecrazyguy> ;)
<FaustBackCookn> Happiness, English
<Vereornox> "my heart goes out to the man who'll have to see these people for the rest of his life, I'll be out next week or something"
<Somecrazyguy> jesus vern
<Vereornox> Holy shit gramps is out of control
<Teruzi> Bahaha. Fantastic.
<Somecrazyguy> the absolute madman
<Teruzi> Clap, you shit. You better clap enthusiastically.
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<JulesVern> Somecrazyguy: I'm home
<JulesVern> Grandpa destroyed everyone
<Thalia|Fidler> xD!
-*- Teruzi sits down
<Teruzi> wait wait
<Teruzi> I'm going to shower, you just write that stuff down
<Teruzi> I'll be back real quick
<JulesVern> lol
<JulesVern> Okay so
<JulesVern> Grandpa was on the stage
<JulesVern> The mic still in hand
<JulesVern> And he began a speech about himself when he was a child
<JulesVern> About how people respected their elders, and how they were taught to be God-fearing and all that
<JulesVern> And then dropped this line
<JulesVern> "It is obvious, in any culture, that if one had common sense and decency, the decisions about the wedding would eventually fall to the groom's family, who pays for it, and not the people who were too cheap to give the newlyweds a wedding gift."
<JulesVern> And someone threw a bottle at him
<JulesVern> So the groom went and grabbed the bottle
<JulesVern> And smashed it into the face of the guy who threw it
<JulesVern> (It's a hard plastic bottle filled with coke)
<Nick> holy shit
<Nick> what happened next?
<JulesVern> That's when the fighting started
<Faustus> Oh my god, are you sure you aren't Irish?
<JulesVern> Bride's family were less people than groom's family
<JulesVern> Keep in mind, segregation, no women, only men there
<JulesVern> The women were in another place entirely
<Nick> weird
<JulesVern> So when shit went fucked
<JulesVern> Shit went fucked hard
<JulesVern> No women to consider when everyone started beating the shit out of each other
<JulesVern> Nick: Cultural thing
<Nick> still weird to me
<JulesVern> That was one of the problems
<JulesVern> Bride's family wanted one together
<JulesVern> Groom's family tradition demands split
-*- Brut adds "Start a fight at a Muslim wedding" to bucket list
<JulesVern> Brut
<JulesVern> Brut did you read up on this
<Brut> Yee
<JulesVern> Gramps is the best
<JulesVern> I want this guy to be my grandpa
<Faustus> Gramps is hardcore and doesn't afraid of anything
<JulesVern> He literally siad
<JulesVern> He's too old to give a fuck
<JulesVern> Because he'll be dead before too long so he won't have to bother with those fucks who refuse to celebrate a wedding proper
<Brut> To be honest
<Brut> Everyone at this wedding sounds like an asshole
<Brut> Even Gramps
<JulesVern> Gramps is a national treasure
<JulesVern> I'll fight you
<Teruzi> oh my god
<JulesVern> Tuzi :D
<Teruzi> nah Brut, Gramps did the whole talk the walk
<Teruzi> Vern!
<JulesVern> Gramps is the best
<Teruzi> Invite me to the next wedding, holy shit
<JulesVern> If he was a WD character he'd be Arson Jones
<Teruzi> also segregation is kind of boring for dancing, no?
<JulesVern> I've never seen so many people burned at once
<Faustus> Candor is something I'd appreciate in this situation. Vern wasn't that pleased about how the wedding was handled as well iirc.
<JulesVern> Basically gramps said that if they didn't like how the wedding was handled
<JulesVern> Why the fuck were they there and bumming everyone out
<JulesVern> Instead of just pissing off and leaving the happy people to celebrate
<Teruzi> he's not -wrong-
<Teruzi> it's mega douchy to fuck up a wedding. Literally only going to be a pissant.
<Teruzi> It's a wedding for fucks sake
<Wildgone> Benefit of being old is the ability to give no fucks.
<Wildgone> Or to deliver all the fuck-yous.
<ColdGold> Holy shit Vern
<ColdGold> I'm so happy I read this
<JulesVern> Yesss
<JulesVern> I thought it'd end in a shanking
<JulesVern> But this is better!
<ColdGold> That Grandpa is the REAL FUCKING MVP
<ColdGold> What a thug
<JulesVern> Gramps is the best
<JulesVern> If I ever grow that old
<JulesVern> I want to become like him
<JulesVern> Gramps is my hero
<Teruzi> why even wait
<Teruzi> plan to die young and start spitting fire now
<ColdGold> Because you have to be old to pull that off
<JulesVern> ^
<ColdGold> If you're young you get fucked up eventually
<Teruzi> worth.
<ColdGold> Kek
<Nick> just put makeup on to make yourself look old
<Faustus> Just have fucked up hands
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<ColdGold> That shit erupted into a full on bar brawl
<ColdGold> Lmao
<JulesVern> Without alcohol!
<Nick> haha
<ColdGold> I love how the groom got in on it too
<ColdGold> And those quotes were ridiculous
<ColdGold> Oh man
<ColdGold> Arab red wedding indeed
<Mega|Mendez> That was fucking amazing, Vern.
<Nick> I'm glad it was a plastic bottle
<JulesVern> The groom is one of my oldest friends, I know how he ticks
<JulesVern> His stress with the family aside, he'd never let anyone do anything to his gramps
<JulesVern> Only person he has to justify himself to is his bride, and she won't give a fuck when they're sitting in a plane to Egypt for their honeymoon
<JulesVern> I'm so glad
<JulesVern> I went today
<JulesVern> ;-;
<JulesVern> I'm crying tears of happiness