3/19/17

It's not yet Monday, but I have things on my mind

Life:

I thought I was feeling a bit overwhelmed in general by the amount of things I've placed on my own shoulders. I realized recently, however, it's not the number of things I want to do, but rather how badly I allot the time I have each day. Frankly, I'm not efficient enough in my day-to-day activities. When I wake up, I usually putz around for about an hour either in bed or just chilling on twitch before doing anything, and it takes me too long to transition from activity to activity. If I can attack that inherent laziness, I'll be able to accomplish more each day, even if it's only a few things here and there. I want to have time to do everything in a day: streaming, practicing my music, doing work for other things like my teaching job, hanging with friends when I can, tackling other miscellaneous tasks throughout the day, and, most importantly, making time for Summer. I don't talk about her in these pastebins very often, but it's hard to understate how much of a positive impact she is in my life and how much she inspires me c:

Streaming:

Sunshine is fun as fuck. I'm really bad right now, but I'm gonna get sub 1:30 real soon and keep taking off from there. I made a list last night of every gold split I have that's 20 or more seconds slower than Diddeh. I'm gonna whittle away at those until there are none left, then remake the list at 15 seconds slower, and so on and so forth. I find it's the most efficient way to practice. Attack your biggest weaknesses first, then attack the smaller ones once you have more functioning game knowledge and less inherent weak splits. If I don't have sub 1:20 sobs by the end of March, I'll be a bit disappointed, but I'll be inspired to push that much further.

I've only taken 1 day off of Sunshine since starting the grind, and I've been practicing anywhere from 3-9 hours a day. Still, I feel great. My hands feel tired at the end of a long grind, but I wear wrist braces every night and rest them when I'm not playing, and they're a ok by the next practice session. This makes me so happy, because this was a huge fear of mine coming back to this game.

Singing:

Story time. A random singer my age friend requested me a few years back. I didn't know him at all, but he had a lot of mutual friends, so I accepted his request. I asked him if I ever met him at some point, and he just explained to me that he fr's singers from all over, just so he can get to know people better. He came off strong, and he posted statuses about opera to the point of seeming obsessive, but he seemed like a great guy, so I didn't mind at all. Flash forward to yesterday. I saw him update a status about how he got a full ride to the graduate program I got rejected from. I wanted to be happy for him... but I just wasn't. He got everything I could have wanted, and I hate feeling like a failure more than anything in the world. I still like him, but I'm envious. When I see other people succeed at areas I've failed at, I copy them. So, I need to become obsessive about opera. I work hard at my music, but I could work harder. So, I will. I want to be the best. So, I will.

Even if I have to annoy some facebook friends with opera statuses from time to time.

Still, I have one more grad school I'm waiting to hear back from. I'm not really thrilled about the prospect of going there if I get in, since I'll feel like I'm settling, but we have to take the W's where we can find them. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

That's about it for now I think

tl;dr I'm trash