Doug Bowser Moon

Dear Reggie,

Salutations. It is I, your dearest friend, yet fiercest foe, Doug Bowser. I am writing today to cordially invite you to my wedding. I understand that we’ve had our differences in the past, but consider this an olive branch. You are, after all, my senpai, and it would be most improper to neglect you from my considerations.

Reggie gagged. Senpai. Where’d a guy like Doug Bowser get off calling people “senpai?” God invented localization for a reason. Who put this guy in charge of Nintendo of America?

He continued reading.

Furthermore, in a way, I am in your debt. You may recall that last month you hammer-threw me to the heavens. Well, by serendipity, I just so happened to land on the moon, right in front of a beautiful chapel. The moment I saw it, I knew I had to tell my fiance about it. She was absolutely thrilled, and we decided to hold our wedding there. So I have you to thank.

So please, I would be delighted if you came. You may also bring as many guests as you like. I would recommend staying at the Dark Side Hotel. It’s got good rates.

Hope to see you there.

Best regards,

Doug Bowser.

P.S. I found your Key to the Chronicle. As it turns out, you dropped it during the incident where I kidnapped Miyamoto. It is mine now.

Reggie rolled his eyes. As if he would go. Doug Bowser’s wedding. The very concept was as absurd as the idea that Waluigi could ever be in Smash Bros. How could such a thing even happen? The bride-to-be must’ve either been as dumb as a Dodongo or under durress.

- Ragnarust Round 3