At the wal-mart I work at an old man went to go to the washroom, and it just so happened we had a plumber fixing the public bathroom, before someone could tell him where the staff bathroom is literally 10 feet away behind the doors to the stock room, he exclaims "I'm 75 years old and I've never shit my pants, and I'm not gonna start now!" and then whips his pants down in front of 10 people and stands over a mop and bucket and shits in it.