School in New Jersey bans fortnite after student does floss dance during moment of silence,

Any rapper, hailie, eminem,

Me, all I can afford are crappy apartments, life, boy do I have the place for you, crapi apartments,

If batman got married, name someone he knows that probably would not get an invitation, joker, riddler, penguin, his parents,

My coworker and I discovered something,

I hate a Okay I’ll see ass friend, either you can or you can’t, some of us got parents,

Don’t look here, this joke is in your hand,

Tell your boss he can have our memes, really, when I’m dead,

30 mph, bicycle, 100 mph, 210 mph, ferrari, 550 mph, freshman in the halls on the first day,

Coming clean, Jason statham tearfully admitted yesterday that he did his own stunts,

Do you have any plans today, idk if this was also meant to say no or I just thought too deep,

Believe in the circle even if it means not looking, you just looked,

100% whole grain meet thins,

This picture has been hacked, only niggas with a long dong can like this image, failed to upvote please try again later,

So my friend is on a movie date tomorrow and he asked me to book two tickets, done,

This is what 3,000 grams of cannabis oil looks like, no wonder goku was chasing those damn things around,

Ryan Fitzpatrick looks like Conner McGregor’s alcoholic older brother,

Watergun, the sun,

When you have an iPhone XS and someone with an iPhone x tries to talk to you, I don’t speak broke,

When the email starts with than you for applying,

Can I borrow a dollar, no but we can hook up, that was easy, toooo easy, ok sorry, yeah you can borrow a dollar, still too easy, ok no you can’t borrow a dollar, that’s more like it, what’s the worst pick up line you’ve ever gotten, can I borrow a dollar, damn who sent you that one,

When you are king arthur, I control the sword,

Hopefully the FBI agent assigned to our chat isn’t epileptic, I hope they are, it would be a search and seizure,

nah, this is romance, you’re in love, I lost the ability to love when I was 8 and my neighbor poisoned my cat, so thanks for bringing that up, one time I poisoned my neighbors cat, I think it belonged to a little girl or something, she was probably about 8 at the time,

Me, I can’t do this anymore juice,

5 plus 3 times 5 equals 40, 5 plus 3 times 5 equals 20,

What would you do for a sip of the ultimate beverage,

If Spiderman’s name was your mom’s credit card number the three numbers on the back and the expiration date what would spiderman’s name be,

Thanos obama, thanos obama,

I took a shit in my grandma’s cat’s litterbox when I was like 13 and my whole family was wilding out trying to figure out why the cat took such a huge dump, then they took her to the vet and we found out she has feline HIV so in a way, I helped her, this story was wild from start to finish,

Kids have crushes, men have girlfriends, moths have lamps,

When someone is at a concert on snapchat, the fastest tap in the west,

Communism in theory, communism in practice,

Meal prep,

Finally a news source I can trust,

Believe in something even if it’s just until halftime, just retire,

Being so bored you make your own friends, aw man they left,

I’ve finally found it, after 15 years, the scroll of truth, Loki is truly dead, nyehhh,

Look at the way this dudes belly is smirking at that keg,

Is halloween getting too sexy for kids,

Don’t mind me, just using iOS 12’s new measure app to measure my cat, fellas, we’re done for,

What if you, want to go to heaven, but god said, I just stepped on a lego,

Listen to your heart, the door knob is on the wrong side in the 3rd frame,

Dad why is my sisters name rose, because your mother loves roses, thanks dad, no problem, lamp,

Are you going to sleep, yes so shut up, your meme probably won’t get featured in comment awards,

Successful people, unsuccessful people, teachers who make study guides that are exactly the same as the test,

Bro let me get a hit of your juul, come on bro please,

Kneel before your king,

This clean, this has been through the dishwasher twice and scrubbed by hand for 10 minutes straight, trust me it’s clean,

Don’t vandalize the bathrooms, freshman, that sign won’t stop me because I can’t read,

I don’t think my pharmacist likes me, swallow whore,

When you’re Kayne and you haven’t posted anything weird in 5 seconds,

Self-checkout machine at grocery store, please remove item from bagging area, me,

Jude, state you name, me, not guilty, judge, what, me, I had it legally changed, judge, you’re not guilty, law niggas,

When you accidentally say something gay, and you hit them with that no homo,

Unlike you, get my news from a reliable source, sins news,

When it’s 2 minutes into no nut November and you see a bionicle, oh neptune,

200g uncooked white rice vs 200g cooked white rice, 730 calories, 234 calories, who tf is eating uncooked rice,

2018, 1995, 4 incredible clues that could prove Michael Jackson is still alive,

When everyone asks for a crusade but no one ever asks you how is the crusade,

The best nap is the one you take after being out in the sun and pool all day and you’ve showered the sunscreen off and you don’t need any blankets cause your sunburn is keeping ya warm and you know you’re gonna wake up just before it’s time to go to dinner, that is the nap,

When you drive into California but forget you have a pack of 1000 straws in the back, the NCR has declared you a terrorist,

Start your year off right, on dec 31 at 9:15pm get under your covers and fall asleep, midnight will pass as you are deep in a peaceful slumber, and your first encounter with the near year will be waking up, well rested, to a morning basked in sunlight and a day that’s yours for the taking, no I am going to do coke,

When a fortnite player sees a girl, pp very soft,

Superman could kill Mr. Bean very easily, rowan atkinson, on why he does not want to make a movie called superman vs mr bean,

Damn uncle ben been at the store for a minute,

Press any ket to continue,

Waking up from a power nap, wow I slept late, people must be wondering where I am, checks phone,

TV shows, do not try this at home, youtubers, that sign won’t stop me because I can’t read,

If gravity exists then why does the US flag look like this and not this,

Me, africa by toto, my neighbors,

Dad, why is my sister’s name world peace, because that’s your mother’s greatest desire, thanks dad, no problem, Stefan Karl youtube channel hitting 1000000 subscribers,

Be more like dogs, good boy, sleep a lot, not racist, only pee on couch sometimes and very sorry about it,

The sentence, don’t objectify women has women as the object of the sentence, here’s a little lesson in trickery,

Guy buys turtles for $50 at markets and releases them, they are probably selling him the same one over and over

My brain, the fact that there are more nipples than humans, me at 3 am,

Iphone 7 32 gig locked but I have the finger more info pm,

Teenagers, lack of sleep, is this cool,

5 examples of successful rebranding,

2nd grade nibbas when the book’s main character has the same name as them,

The past tense of feet is yooted, fuck call for backup, he has knowledge,

When you’re a low level character in a video game and try to sneak up on a well equipped boss that’s high level,

Memes, reddit, article 13,

The class, kids who remind the teacher about the homework,

This dude said, Woppa Gangnam style then dipped,

OxyContin maker gets patent for drug to treat opioid addiction, I’m playing both sides, so that I always come out on top,

Remember the show COPS this is the first person that would open the door in a trailer park,

Nickelodeon rebranding Miranda Cosgrove from Megan in Drake and Josh to Icarly was the most ambitious and successful transition since god told Abraham to slaughter his son and at the last minute he said jk here’s a sheep,

Gay sex, homosexual intercourse, smash bros,

Avatar is coming to netflix, open the gate, it’s live action, close the gate, the original creators are working on it, open the gate a little,

When you invite your girlfriend over to show her your bionicles and she brings some of her own over too, load size large,

Yee, and I can not stress this enough, haw,

6 foot, 5 foot 11,

When your local McDonald’s says see you tomorrow rather than goodbye, glares chubbily,

Did you buy the new iPhone, yes, what did it cost, everything,

Christopher Columbus, can I see some of your land, native americans, yeah e carefu-, Christopher columbus, boonk gang hol lotta gang shit,

Random person, young thug ain’t lyrical, me, I nut on that fish, young thug dome,

You came to wrong fridge motherfucker,

Kid, when I grow up, anti vaxxers, I’m gonna stop you right there,

Josh, I do not control the speed at which lobsters die, also josh, josh,

This photo of Donald trump’s mom looks like a character in a film about trump’s life where trump plays all the roles, marry trump,

When someone gets banned from a Facebook flat earth group for proclaimed that the earth is a donut, carefully, he’s a hero,

Revive, please bro I have a raygun,

When you think you gonna fart but ya shit ya pants, umm,

Hello, I made account on here just to say that he’s made the worst eggs I’ve ever seen, couldn’t concentrate after I saw that abomination,

Get fucked by article 13, get fucked by net neutrality,

Josh, suicidal lobsters, controlling the speed at which lobsters die,

Bae, come over, I can’t right now I’m experiencing an ethical dilemma, my entire family isn’t home, I know,

Every white girl in America tomorrow, I’m so pumped for autumn I’m gonna fill my ass with leaves,

When you don’t have a mic but still need to talk to your teammates, you are shit, you are shit,

Ew, I stepped in truth, refrigerators are just domesticated winter,

Revive hitler, revive stalin, sure blindness,

Microsoft, use my edge, I beg you,

When you drop a pen and it teleports to a fucking different dimension,

Guys always want to see some girl on girl, how would you feel if we asked you to bang your dicks together, I haven’t had a proper sword fight in years,

Chocolate milk comes from chocolate cows,

Your beard is weird, lol stfu man bun,

Last night I had cereal with milk for the first time, life changing, wait till you try peanut butter and jam,

Name an object no one has ever tried to use sexually, your dick,

When people who secretly watch anime make fun of people whom openly watch anime,

Gets bad haircut, me, perfect, thanks,

When you’ve found paint 3D on you PC so you can rotate any text and image, my powers have doubled since the last time we, met count,

$5.00, deep fried pickles they’re pickle’o’licious, they missed the perfect opportunity to say dill-icious,

The best named divorce lawyers in history, ditcher, quick, hyde, divorce lawyers,

Teacher, today we’ll be studying greek mythology, niggas who played smite, niggas who read Percy jackson,

Me, gets up from chair to stretch during class, my dick,  showtime,

3rd grader, jumps and touches top of door frame, other 3rd graders,

Iphone X, Iphone XS,

When you’re losing an argument, ol’ reliable, you have an amine icon,

Mother, can you please fix my computer, me, leans back in chair, well, well, well, if it isn’t miss get off that computer years 1994 to 2006,

Hey youtube today I will show you how to get a hack for club penguin,

When your friend says he wants to show you some good memes and then opens instagram, visible confusion,

Team Kylie Jenner,

When you are luigi’s arch-rival, wa

Instagram is great because otherwise I wouldn’t know how many parties I wasn’t being invited to,

Friend, she’s so hot, me, she’s 14, friend, age is just a number, me, you know what else is just a number, friend, what, me, 911,

When you didn’t access the internet in the last 7 days, hey man, it’s your FBI agent, open up, are you okay,

Family, why would you get tattoos, they’re expensive and painful to get and they are permanent, also family, have a baby,

Other people, 72% water, me, 100% love for my homies,

Netflix, are you still watching, me, no, netflix, do you want it on in the background anyway to fill the deafening silence of your loneliness, me, yeah,

Yoooo, they revoked his medical license, mr pepper,

Last night I had cereal with milk for the first time, life changing, sound so good can’t wait to try this,

Slaps tummy it fit many lamp brother,

JROTC kids walking past their useless civilian classmates on the way to Algebra one,

Spanish conquistadors, smallpox, aztec empire,

When mods see a female, pp, very soft,

Are you good at maths, ummm depends on the level of difficulty, okay well start with an easy one, 10 x 0, 0, 1 x your phone number,

How you have a gluten allergy and claim to be hustling, LMAO you allergic to bread,

Youtube, clickbait, me,

Ok sir do you know why I pulled you over, to give me a blow job, ok sir step out of the vehicle and put your hands behind your head, I fucking knew it,

I’m peeing and this dog came into my stall, he has a joke to tell you but he has to stop laughing first,

When you spot an independent part of africa, showtime,

Chris Brown been famous since I was in 3rd grade and this nigga still in his 20s,

Me, pretending not to be high, Arby’s staff,

Idea, we replace the SATs with one nationwide game of Kahoot,

Professor, most of you won’t pass this course, me, cool so you’re like, real shitty at your job,

Bro an octopus is really just a wet spider,

99% of my socks are single and you don’t see them crying about it,

Kindergarten niggas when they climb up the slide, megamind,

You, I’m only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me, sports Broadcaster, here comes the oldest player in the league, he’s 32, a miracle,

When you boil water, temperature, 100,

Make the dicc the 207th bone in the human body, 5374 have signed let’s go to 7,500,

Sorry guys you were 15 minutes late and the meme was legally allowed to leave,

My life is falling apart, but at least I have some rad socks,

White people love yawning extremely loud then shouting shit afterward,

When you’re literally walking into the bathroom and someone asks where you’re going, hmm,

Ideal GF, has a vagina, or a dick I ain’t picky dm me,

You all think monopoly is fun but it doesn’t even have a grappling hook, so fuck off,