Kezlow Enters

[15:26] <Mathmatt878> On chuck's computer, he sees a viewport of some weird dude chilling in a dump, along with an HUD.
[15:26] <Kezlow> GC: so apparently
[15:26] <Chuck> Philip what is this
[15:27] <Kezlow> GC: i'm at the mercy of a creature
[15:27] <Kezlow> GC: so for the sake of both of us
[15:27] <Kezlow> GC: you better hope you're competent
[15:27] <Kezlow> GC: now let us begin
[15:27] <Kezlow> GC: you do know what you're doing?
[15:27] <Chuck> AB: who the fuck are you
[15:27] <Kezlow> GC: off to a bad start
[15:27] <Chuck> AB: no I don't know what I'm doing
[15:27] <Chuck> AB: what am I doing
[15:27] <Kezlow> GC: let us skip that part
[15:28] <Kezlow> GC: and go right to the part where you help me complete the task
[15:28] <Chuck> AB: ok
[15:28] <Kezlow> GC: this game is distressingly simple
[15:28] <Chuck> AB: this is weird but why not
[15:29] <Kezlow> GC: this may be of service
[15:33] <Chuck> AB:Ok so you're saying I can clean up your house
[15:33] <Kezlow> GC: please don't
[15:34] <Kezlow> GC: just get on with it
[15:34] <Kezlow> GC: follow the instructions as written
[15:35] <Kezlow> GC: and if i find anything to be out of place
[15:35] <Kezlow> GC: there will be
[15:35] <Kezlow> GC: consequences
[15:35] <Chuck> AB: im sure
[15:36] <Kezlow> GC: tell me
[15:36] <Chuck> I start low key picking stuff up before placing the machines
[15:36] <Kezlow> GC: are you familiar with the creature known as
[15:36] <Kezlow> GC: "lyra"?
[15:36] <Mathmatt878> With a series of three loud thunks, the three machines appear somewhere in the dump.
[15:36] <Chuck> AB: yeah, I knew her long ago
[15:36] <Chuck> I continue cleaning up
[15:36] <Kezlow> GC: she was capable of following directions
[15:37] <Mathmatt878> Oh gosh, he's cleaning.
[15:37] <Kezlow> GC: you should follow her example
[15:37] <Mathmatt878> THAT MONSTER
[15:37] <Kezlow> GC: what was that sound
[15:37] <Mathmatt878> HOW DARE HE CLEAN YOUR GARBAGE
[15:37] <Kezlow> GC: did you touch something
[15:38] <Kezlow> (I begin searching for Chuck's bank information)
[15:38] <Kezlow> (in full view on the giant screen)
[15:38] <Chuck> AB: heh fuckin weirdo
[15:39] <Kezlow> GC: i am now holding hostage what you hold dear
[15:39] <Kezlow> GC: as you have done to me
[15:39] <Kezlow> GC: please stay on task
[15:39] <Kezlow> GC: and your funds will remain secure
[15:41] <Mathmatt878> Roll either INT to actually get access to his bank information, on a DC of 18, or deception to make him THINK you're hacking him, against his insight.
[15:41] <Kezlow> (I silently thank Master for the tactic)
[15:41] <Mathmatt878> >I gotchu, bro.
[15:44] <Chuck> AB: really what do I hold dear
[15:44] <Chuck> Lemme check
[15:44] <Kezlow> GC: presumably your savings
[15:47] <Chuck> AB: isn't the world ending
[15:47] <Chuck> AB: are you a hacker
[15:47] <Chuck> AB: I have so many questions that make no sense
[15:48] <Kezlow> !roll 1d20 to pretend I'm a hacker
[15:48] <Tyche[Dice]> (1d20) [11] : {11}
[15:48] <Mathmatt878> Chuck, roll insight to realize he's lying.
[15:48] <Chuck_> !Roll 1d20-1
[15:48] <Tyche[Dice]> (1d20-1 [5] : {4}
[18:01] <Kezlow> GC: are you ready to cooperate?
[18:01] <Kezlow> (I begin bashing the appropriate machine with my keyboard)
[18:01] <Chuck_> AB: lemme finish cleaning up
[18:01] <Kezlow> GC: no
[18:01] <Chuck_> AB: ok i will
[18:02] <Chuck_> AB: whats next on this weird guide thing
[18:02] <Mathmatt878> Roll strength to beat the lid open.
[18:02] <Kezlow> (i type more numbers into the phoney hacking client)
[18:02] <Chuck_> AB: i throw something at the
[18:02] <Chuck_> AB: dude stop im doing what you asked
[18:02] <Chuck_> AB: dont fucking hack me
[18:02] <Kezlow> !roll 1d20+2
[18:02] <Tyche[Dice]> (1d20+2) [16+2] : {18}
[18:02] <Kezlow> GC: as you wish
[18:02] <Kezlow> (i stop typing on the now slightly dented keyboard)
[18:03] <Mathmatt878> You successfully fail to require the cleaning lady to do your work for you, and you successfully knock the lid right off, releasing a burgundy orb and crystalline cylinder.
[18:04] <Kezlow> (I walk over to a lone bucket in the corner)
[18:04] <Mathmatt878> The orb makes the worst static sound imaginable.
[18:04] <Mathmatt878> ∑∆˚ƒ˜œ˚˙∑∆˜´ƒ˙¡®™œ∫¨®˙¡ˆ˜™œ®ƒœ˚∫∑˜©∑∫ƒ∆©Ôı˝ÔÓıÔ˝ÓıÓ˝Ôı˝◊†ÏÓ©√∫
[18:04] <Kezlow> (I reach in and procure a mirror, slightly cracked)
[18:04] <Kezlow> (I chuck it at the orb)
[18:04] <Mathmatt878> Roll dex to hit.
[18:04] <Chuck_> AB: what a shitty noise
[18:04] <Mathmatt878> >WHOA MAN, I WANTED THAT MIRROR!
[18:04] <Kezlow> !roll 1d20+1
[18:04] <Tyche[Dice]> (1d20+1) [19+1] : {20}
[18:05] <Kezlow> ("you can have it")
[18:05] <Mathmatt878> With one strong chuck, you successfully toss the mirror into the orb, which begins to glow brightly.
[18:05] <Chuck_> AB: did you just say something?
[18:05] <Kezlow> GC: no
[18:05] <Mathmatt878> Sadly, you aren't able to turn the screen brightness down in real life.
[18:05] <Mathmatt878> Eventually, the light fades, and you are left with a reflective orb floating in front of you.
[18:05] <Kezlow> (I turn down my eye brightness)
[18:05] <Kezlow> (by closing them)
[18:06] <Chuck_> I turn down my computer brightness
[18:06] <Kezlow> GC: interesting
[18:06] <Mathmatt878> Suddenly, you notice a time off to the side.
[18:06] <Mathmatt878> 3:14
[18:06] <Kezlow> GC: nothing new here
[18:06] <Kezlow> (I take the cylinder to the appropriate machine)
[18:07] <Mathmatt878> The guide says you also need a card of some kind.
[18:07] <Mathmatt878> Darn it, cleaning lady, your job isn't done yet!
[18:07] <Kezlow> GC: card me, creature
[18:07] <Chuck_> AB: ok
[18:07] <Chuck_> I toss the card into the largest pile of garbage
[18:07] <Chuck_> Then i continue cleaning smaller piles
[18:07] <Mathmatt878> It lands on top of the pile.
[18:07] <Mathmatt878> You sick monster.
[18:08] <Kezlow> (i sigh and begin the trek to retrieve the card)
[18:08] <Kezlow> (typing away all the while)
[18:08] <Mathmatt878> Inside appears to be the image of...
[18:08] <Mathmatt878> A NUKE?!
[18:08] <Kezlow> GC: look what you've done
[18:08] <Kezlow> GC: you broke it
[18:08] <Chuck_> AB: how so
[18:08] <Kezlow> (I pocket it and slide back down the pile to the machines)
[18:09] <Kezlow> GC: i'm not sure
[18:09] <Kezlow> GC: but it was obviously your fault
[18:09] <Kezlow> (I do the punch thing)
[18:09] <Mathmatt878> You make the totem thing.
[18:09] <Mathmatt878> >Oh, sharp blades.
[18:10] <Mathmatt878> >Can I have those?
[18:10] <Mathmatt878> >And the crystal thingy.
[18:10] <Kezlow> ("hush")
[18:10] <Mathmatt878> >That looks cool too.
[18:10] <Mathmatt878> >No, screw you.
[18:10] <Mathmatt878> >I am your Master.
[18:10] <Kezlow> ("i have company")
[18:10] <Mathmatt878> >You will give me the shiny thing.
[18:10] <Mathmatt878> >He can give me the shiny thing too.
[18:10] <Kezlow> ("now's not the time")
[18:10] <Mathmatt878> >I respectfully disagree.
[18:10] <Chuck_> AB: who the hell are you talking to
[18:10] <Mathmatt878> 2:45
[18:10] <Kezlow> (I continue doing the thing)
[18:11] <Kezlow> GC: none of your business
[18:11] <Chuck_> I "clean up" his throne
[18:11] <Mathmatt878> As you place the totem on the flat machine-y thing, a burgundy crystal bomb appears on the larger platform.
[18:11] <Kezlow> (I add in a few letters to the mock program for posterity)
[18:11] <Mathmatt878> On the bomb, a hatch opens, revealing a set of wires inside it.
[18:12] <Mathmatt878> >Ok, I don't think I want that thing.
[18:12] <Mathmatt878> >You can probably keep that one.
[18:12] <Kezlow> (I begin wailing away at the wires with my mace)
[18:12] <Mathmatt878> Roll strength.
[18:12] <Kezlow> !roll 1d20+2
[18:12] <Tyche[Dice]> (1d20+2) [15+2] : {17}
[18:13] <Mathmatt878> With a solid swing of the mace, you travel right through the wires, and tear them out, successfully disarming the bomb.
[18:13] <Mathmatt878> Your technique was flawless.
[18:13] <Kezlow> GC: nothing a bit of elbow grease can't fix
[18:13] <Chuck_> AB: was that a bomb
[18:13] <Mathmatt878> The bomb begins glowing, prompting a very interesting reaction for Master.
[18:13] <Kezlow> GC: probably
[18:13] <Chuck_> AB: so you hit it
[18:13] <Kezlow> GC: yes
[18:13] <Chuck_> AB: with a stick
[18:13] <Kezlow> GC: it's a mace
[18:14] <Mathmatt878> >Flawless victory.
[18:14] <Chuck_> AB: its a glorified stick
[18:14] <Kezlow> GC: i happen to be proficient with technology
[18:14] <Kezlow> GC: and that was the way to deal with this particular technology
[18:14] <Kezlow> GC: in any case
[18:14] <Chuck_> AB: i thought you were a hacker
[18:14] <Kezlow> GC: you were a bother
[18:14] <Kezlow> GC: please do not contact me again
[18:14] <Chuck_> AB: you were an amusement
[18:15] <Chuck_> AB: i think i will a lot
[18:15] <Mathmatt878> >What a jerk.
[18:15] <Kezlow> (I dump the remainder of his fake funds into my fake account)
[18:15] <Chuck_> AB: why are you so trashy anyway?
[18:15] <Kezlow> GC: good question
[18:15] <Kezlow> GC: regardless
[18:16] <Kezlow> GC: have an unpleasant day
[18:16] <Chuck_> AB: you too <3
[18:16] <Mathmatt878> You disappear, along with your entire dump.