Sorry

08/08/18 - It's time to finally clear some things up. I've put this off for way too long.

All I can say at this point is I'm sorry.
I know that I've gotten into a lot of trouble over the last few years and gotten others into similar trouble and the amount of burnt bridges and tension with people this created has gotten out of control. Though I know there's probably not much that can be done at this point but hey it's worth a try.¯\_(ツ)_/¯

tl;dr I've fucked up. A lot. And I'm sorry.

 ~Starting with the recent HRT blackmail trap cult thing or whatever you want to call it:

Simply put it was a staged shitpost/larp inspired by what a friend (Reiko) did shortly before. Nobody was ever hurt, blackmailed, doxed, or anything in that light.

 A couple crazies cut my name into their arms when I bought up the subject in a non-serious manner but what other people do is out of my hands. It's not like I blackmailed or forced them to do so. The server itself was nothing more than a group of friends talking. It was no different from your typical anime/lgbt server.

The absurd things I said in the screenshots in THE infographic was also larping but anyone with a brain should have been able to tell. Yes I'm trans IRL and stuff but no I don't want to take over the world or mess with the water supply or blackmail or hurt anyone or think testosterone is a neurotoxin or anything like that. If you took it literally then all I can say is that you were gullible.

After the original server was closed I called the whole thing off simply because it got boring. I completely stopped namefagging and making the shill threads and made the next server private with no public invite. The larp just got boring and I decided I didn't want to do it anymore because the thrill wore off. Looking back the whole thing was retarded and I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry to those it scared and the controversy it caused.

There isn't any proof anywhere of there being any blackmail, dox, or anything problematic happening in the server itself so until there is (which there isnt) take my word for it I guess.
I got bored of larping as a cult leader and simply moved on.

 ~Now to address the Von rape accusation stuff:

TL;DR: No, Von didn't rape me, and I'm sorry for saying he did.

We hung out a couple times and during the second visit there was some regrettable stuff that took place. I didn't know what to do so I basically let him do what he wanted before panicking shortly after and feeling extremely guilty.

I promptly asked him to take me home and he did, and I was in a bad mood and he wouldn't stop blowing up my DMs with stuff and it angered me along with the bad taste in my mouth from what happened. This made me exaggerate what happened out of pure anger and I used the wrong words. I'm sorry for accusing you Von. Even if it was just a comment on discord that drama whores blew out of proportion.

 ~Misc./Outdated issues:

I understand that I've been a rude asshole to a lot of people in the past and done some questionable things that were rude, vindictive, and self righteous. All I want now is to be a nice person and try my best to fix the bridges that were burnt and what damage was caused by the things I've said and done. I've learned that it's best to be harmless and have a more pacifistic outlook on life.

- e-Begging
This is a pretty recent one. As you may know a lot of people have helped me out financially over the last few months and I'm extremely grateful for the help. However there have been times where I've seemed to beg and I understand the problem with doing that. It's self explanitory and I've since stopped. I'll be starting a patreon for my art and music stuff soon to take care of this. >inb4 get a job Working on it. I also don't "milk people for cash". Tricking people into thinking you like them just to get money is fucking disgusting. I've never done that and never will.

-The way I reacted to my YouTube audience circa late 2016/early 2017
Even though it is probably irrelevant by now I never touched up on it and it's probably best to.  Needless to say I completely sperged out before leaving the interwebs back then. I had a lot of personal problems going on and I was overwhelmed by the amount of literal kids and stuff flooding my comments/twitter/other stuff because of the exposure from a few normie-tier youtubers. I was a troubled person at that time in my life and that pushed me over the edge. I treated a lot of people badly because of that and honestly came off as a total asshole.

Some of my complaints were legit but I went full sperg in the way I reacted back then. I wouldn't react that way now even if I thought it. I'm not drastic and explosive anymore. This also covers the malware thing which was nowhere near as widespread of an issue as it was portrayed as and only happened 2 or 3 times and was blown out of proportion. Again it wasn't right of me and I'm sorry.

- Finding attention in the wrong places
I know I've posted some lewd pics of myself and I know it isn't a good way to get attention. I've stopped posting stuff like that everywhere.

-Circa 2014/15 waifu memes
Already said this before several years ago. You can't look at that shit for more than 2 seconds and call it anything more than a big fat ironic meme/dumb attempt at a performance act from when I was like 15. Regardless, this stuff is 4 years old and it didnt harm anyone but myself. It only lasted like 4-5 months in its entirety and stopped overnight because it got boring. Even some of you guys said this.

-Rapidly changing opinions
This one has a lot of misunderstanding around it and I mean a lot. A common complaint against me seems to be that I rapidly change opinions with stuff like political views and sexuality.

For a long time in my life I hung around a lot of people online who had opposing views to my own and there was always a struggle between what I actually thought/was and what said e-friends and my mother (who is very conservative) pressured me to present myself as to impress them. I was very insecure and impressionable for a long time. politically, I don't have a side. I don't like alt right edgelords as much as I don't like SJWs. I actually came out as trans for the first time when I was 13 but had to pass it off as a joke so my mom wouldn't kill me or something. Me having been so impressionable and insecure made me act out and seemingly go from being a gay weeb to spouting /pol/ tier stuff a few times seemingly almost overnight and the reason for this was that I simply wanted to impress my friends at the time who made me feel guilty for certain things about myself. To the point of trying so hard to make myself believe the things I was saying and it crushed me inside to do so because I knew who I really was.

All I can say is just watch and see if it happens again. It won't because 2018 was a breakthrough year for me and I'm strong enough to think for myself now and I don't want to impress anyone.

-Grand Channel's closure in mid 2016
A lot of people thought this was because of jealousy of another member (stringanime) as well as the reason I spread a few things about him I regret. GC was closed because the fanbase became toxic. Regardless I handled it badly and I'm sorry.

-Misc. burnt bridges and failed friendships
There are a lot of these and it's really unfortunate. I was a complete asshole in many ways in the past and I'm sorry for treating people badly and saying things I didn't know the consequences of or not thinking how people felt beforehand. I had a lot of strange opinions which are no longer valid and talked a lot of shit. A lot of it dates back years and there are probably still grudges so to people like Kinisis etc. I'm sorry.

~CONCLUSION:

At this point all I want is to be nice and get along with people. I've ditched a lot of habbits and mannerisms that were harmful to myself and others and I have no interest in participating in petty e-drama or larping of any kind anymore. I want to focus on being productive and doing art/music stuff again and I'd like to stay out of trouble. A lot has changed in my life in the last year and it's been for the better with a few dips here and there. I understand my mistakes and I don't want to repeat them.

 I know that some of you will still hate me regardless of what I say because you enjoy hating me or something  or stick to your whole "Muh degenerate trannies gas em all" shitpost narrative but this is for those who can interpret this maturely. Also please don't blame me for the actions of people associated with me (Chijo, etc.) as I have nothing to do with what they do aside from knowing them. I want to keep myself out of trouble and stay away from drama and the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone or come off as a bad person. I've had a change of heart in the last year and I really want to fix the problems I've caused. I guess you could say I shitposted way too much while having been a bitter person in the past. I said and did a lot of things that were extremley insensitive, rude, or dumb. Like I've said before it DOES feel like looking back at a different person.

If there are any additional questions or concerns don't hesitate to talk to me on Discord about it. You know my tag by now and I want to fix this. Looking forward to hearing from old friends. Anyway I've been focusing on art stuff recently and trying to keep out of trouble and I hope to get my first real music album out soon. I want to be productive and be a good person.

I've messed up lots and I want to get better. I'm sorry for everything.

- Aero