[info]olive
2019-07-17 01:07 pm (local) (link) Track This
i just don't know how i fit.
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[info]graaff
2019-07-17 01:08 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
fit...? where? are you talking about with me?
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 01:10 pm (local) (link) Track This
yes. i'm sorry. both you and beth are giving me crap about talking to shane. i wanted to have this party for you and now beth and shane are both talking about backing out. i honestly...i don't know. i don't need to feel like i have to justify my role in your life to everyone.
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 01:11 pm (local) (link) Track This
and now if you say anything it will be like your other friends don't feel like they can talk to me. and you just...treat me differently. i don't know. i should just back off.
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[info]graaff
2019-07-17 01:15 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
olive, hold on. you don't have to justify yourself to anyone, ever. and you certainly don't have to justify our relationship. i think part of this is just an awkward situation that we're all just trying to navigate comfortably. i mentioned the party to beth when i saw her and i think...because of shane's involvement with it, she felt she would be left out? like...i'm sorry. i'm sorry this got to be such a mess, i know you were just trying to do something nice.

and i'm sorry if you feel like i'm treating you differently. i don't know why you feel like you need to back off, though. i don't...can you just explain that to me a little more?
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 01:22 pm (local) (link) Track This
i'll come back in a bit and try to explain. i think i need to breathe.
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[info]graaff
2019-07-17 01:22 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
okay. i'm sorry, olive. i really am.
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 01:29 pm (local) (link) Track This
don't be. i'm trying to not be a jumbled mess. i want to be productive and say what i'm feeling without it making things worse. i don't want to upset you. i was so excited that beth finally wanted to even talk to me.
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[info]graaff
2019-07-17 01:31 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
i'm sorry because i feel like i brought all this mess to you. it's just a shitty situation right now and it's tricky and i'm sure that she would love to actually talk to you. i just...i'm really fucking sorry.
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 01:33 pm (local) (link) Track This
she knows you have/had feelings for me doesn't she
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[info]graaff
2019-07-17 01:34 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
she does, yes. i've talked to her about it. why?
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 01:35 pm (local) (link) Track This
i just have had a vibe from her for awhile. i don't know. it's fine. she doesn't have to like me.
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[info]graaff
2019-07-17 01:37 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
i don't think she...doesn't like you?
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 01:38 pm (local) (link) Track This
i don't know what she feels, but she made me feel like crap for even talking to shane. and you? can be possessive and protective over me. but she doesn't get to come out of nowhere after all the times i've tried to talk to her and be nice to her and question me on where i fit in your life and/or shane's. i told her i don't talk to shane and that you're my best friend. i don't know what she wants me to say.
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[info]graaff
2019-07-17 01:39 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
what do you mean, she questioned that?
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 01:38 pm (local) (link) Track This
i also thought she already knew shane wasn't coming. here's our conversation.
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 01:39 pm (local) (link) Track This

[info]beth
2019-07-17 09:06 am (local) (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Hiiii! How's it going?
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 09:34 am (local) (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
hey it's going great, it's good to hear from you! how are you??
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[info]beth
2019-07-17 09:39 am (local) (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
I'm good! I wanted to reach out because Beau mentioned something about a birthday dinner but I know it's you and Shane planning and I DIDN'T WANT TO JUST CRASH THIS THING OR SOMETHING.
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 09:45 am (local) (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
well you are INVITED, i thought beau would have made that clear, but apparently shane decided last night that he's backing out and he wants to do something separate, SO. but yes, on beau's birthday! i'm insisting on party hats. so far it's me, you, beau, brandon, his grams, his sister and blush, and of course ruby. my dogs sherlock and watson as well as reggie, and brandon may bring his dog if he feels like it, we'll see.
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[info]beth
2019-07-17 09:46 am (local) (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Wait, separate with himself and Beau?

I'll be on the floor with the dogs....................
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 09:49 am (local) (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
the dogs will be wearing party hats and i maybe bought beau a sparkly crown, don't tell him.

and yeah...yes. just us three, i guess. it was his suggestion.
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[info]beth
2019-07-17 10:02 am (local) (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
Look, if I'm ruining it by being there, I can duck out and you guys can go on with your plans....
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 10:56 am (local) (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
listen, this is just shane being shane. you're not ruining anything and beau wants you there. shane already backed out, i don't think that it would be helpful if you did too.
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[info]beth
2019-07-17 10:58 am (local) (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
I'm not backing out, I just didn't mean to ruin it.
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 11:00 am (local) (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
please don't do that to yourself. i know that you and i aren't close - but i know enough about you to say, with confidence, that you shouldn't let shane's attitude change your line of thinking OR make you feel like you've ruined anything. beau wants you there and it wouldn't be right without you.
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[info]beth
2019-07-17 12:41 pm (local) (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
I guess I just didn’t realize you and Shane and Beau were all so close.
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 01:05 pm (local) (link) DeleteFreezeScreenTrack This Select
shane and i don't really talk, he came to me about the party specifically because of beau's birthday. beau is my best friend.
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[info]graaff
2019-07-17 01:42 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
olive...i don't think she was questioning our relationship. i think it's the same reaction i had yesterday when i was surprised by how it appeared how close you and shane had gotten. like, i understand now that it's just....him being him but, it's surprising.
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 01:43 pm (local) (link) Track This
fine.
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[info]graaff
2019-07-17 01:44 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
what?
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 01:44 pm (local) (link) Track This
it's fine. like i said.
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[info]graaff
2019-07-17 01:45 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
no it's not. no one ever just says "fine" and means it. what?
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 01:46 pm (local) (link) Track This
honestly, it doesn't matter. like you said she was probably just curious and harmless and totally innocent. i'm just going to cook you dinner on your bday and whoever comes, comes. she and shane can fight amongst themselves about why they can't put their own feelings aside to be there for you.
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[info]graaff
2019-07-17 01:48 pm (local) (link) DeleteTrack This
olive, it does matter! something is bothering you and that matters to me. it's a tricky situation and it's hard and it's easy to read into things and i know how that is. i wish i could snap my fingers and fix it all but, i can't. i'm trying my best here.
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[info]olive
2019-07-17 01:48 pm (local) (link) Track This
you and me? we were never tricky.