Happy Hour, Happy Thoughts

It was all Sayori's idea.

"Oh, come oooon!" Sayori moaned, her voice pleading. "Just one song?"

It was a few days after Sayori's 20th birthday, which meant everyone in the Literature Club was legally allowed to drink in the nation of Japan (and smoke, but nobody in the club did stuff like that). Sayori wanted to go out drinking for the first time (or, as she worded it, "get turn the fuck up") as a late birthday present, to which the rest of us begrudgingly agreed to. We got out money and plans in order, and by 8'oclock we were in the heart of Japan's gleaming capital city, Tokyo. After a little bit of exploring we found ourselves at this tiny little place called the 'Kimono Palace', a rinky-dink nightclub shoved between a closed-up grocery shop and a grody apartment building. Certainly not the best place to be, but there was no wait to sit down and the drinks were cheap. In 10 minutes we were at a table and had our orders taken.

The bar was half-full, with soft colorful lights being the only real source of light. We ordered our drinks (Natsuki having to flash her ID card repeatedly to the hostess and insist she was of age) and talked about general stuff (life, schoolwork, boring shit mostly), falling silent to enjoy our first alcoholic beverages.

Soon the clock was pushing past midnight, and the Doki Doki Literature Club was about ready to call it quits (and call a cab to go crash at MC's or something). A nice collection of empty bottles and shot glasses were strewn about the table, along with a few dirty plates of cheap barfood, American burgers and French fries being the meal of choice.

However, Sayori was not quite done yet.

Now on her third shot of the bars best and cheapest tequila (A drink I argued against her taking in favor of something more...starter pack, but per usual she opted to ignore me), the bow-headed girl drunkenly glanced around the bar, her eyes wandering around the bar. Her eyes fell across the room, analyzing a derelict stage.

The wood stage in question was empty, with only a single light shining on the center. A stand and mic stood in the light, and off in the shadows was what looked like a guitar amp, or a jukebox.

And a neon, flickering sign reading "Karaoke Machine!" hung above it.

"Hoooly shiiit!" Sayori slurred, pointing up at the deserted stage. "Karoke!" (You may think that's a typo, but that's how she said it.) "We should sing a song!"

"Sayori..." Monika growled. "No."

Sayori whimpered. "Why nooooot?"

Through the darkness of the dimly lit bar, I could see Monika squint at her vice-president. Having turned down three various middle-aged businessmen creepy flirts, Monika was just about done for the night, and was ready to take executive action and take everyone home.

"Sayori," Monika started, "I'd rather hang myself than sing and embarrass myself and this club in front of a bunch of drunk strangers." Monika said, making a motion to the people behind her with her shot glass.

"Awww, come on now, Monny!" Sayori begged, almost knocking over her tequila bottle. Yuri chuckled at mention of Sayori's pet name for their club president.

Monika furrowed her eyebrows. She hated that name, muttering something distasteful under her breath.

Sayori persisted. "Just one song! It'll be quick! C'mon! MC?"

I looked at the three girls seated next to me with uncertainty. Monika shot me a slightly miffed look and went back to nursing her drink. Yuri silently looked away, hoping Sayori would just forget about her embarrassingly bad idea. And Sayori intently stared at me, hoping for the answer she wanted.

I looked at Natsuki, struggling to stay awake. We exchanged each other looks. She took a sip from her beer. "If your down, I'm down."

I looked up at the stage, then to Sayori, then back to Natsuki.

I dragged Sayori's tequila bottle over to me and poured a small shot. I quickly downed the sharply-tasting drink, coughed. "Fuck it. Let's do it. Nobody will pay attention to us anyway."

Sayori squealed with happiness, and sprung up from her seat. Monika groaned

As we got up, I could've sworn I heard Monika mutter "Should've deleted her when I had the chance.", but I may have just been hearing things.

Sayori hopped up onto the stage, as Monika walked over to the karaoke box and started setting it up. "Christ, I barely know half of these songs." She muttered to me, taking another drink from her glass.

I looked at the tiny, glowing-blue screen. A very primitive setup, a list of songs with two arrows on the corner to flip through the playlist. Lot of J-Pop and teen beats (in other words, songs I could not and did not want to sing).

"Play something with spirit!" Sayori yelled across the stage, trying to place the microphone into the stand. Yuri awkwardly stood a distance away from us, her face red, wishing she was just back at the table. Natsuki started to rope the cord over to the amp, and crouched down to plug it in. She looked up at us. "Remind me, why are we doing this?"

Monika sighed. "Look, if we get through one song, we can go home. I don't want to do this either, but just grit your teeth and do it."

Natsuki sighed. "Whatever. Let's just get this over with." She stood up and walked back to the mic stand.

I kept thumbing through songs. More trashy, B-list songs that I either didn't recognize or want to recognize. "There's gotta be something decent here…" I muttered to Monika, who was busy trying to drain her bottle.

Suddenly, a song stuck out to me.

"What about this?" I said to Monika, pointing at the screen.

Monika drunkenly glances at the screen, and a warm smile spreads across her face. She looks at me.

"Hell yeah." She spun on her heel and joined the other three.

I pushed it and the music started to play. Sayori glanced up, trying to figure out what I put on. As soon as the harmonica part played, she eagerly clapped her hands together. "Yeaaaah, buddy!" She whooped.

We all gathered around the dusty mic.

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday,
The regular crowd shuffles in,
There's an old man sitting next to me,
Making love to his tonic and gin

The harmonica part kicked in. I slowly swayed on my feet to the beat, trying to keep up. My drinks were starting to get to my head...

Sayori grabbed the mic, almost knocking it off it's stand.

He says 'Son, can you plaaay meeee a memoryyyy?',
I'm not really schuure how it goooooes,
But it's saaaad and it's schweet and I knew it compleeete,
When I wore a younger mans clooooothes

Sayori started to drunkenly serenade the crowd, her voice fluctuating in sound. Natsuki and Monika, resigned to the situation, joined in.

Sing us a soooong, your the Piano Maaan,
Sing us a soong, toniiiight,
Well we're out in the moood for a melodyyy,
And you got us feeling alllriiight

Yuri took a big swig from her bottle, and gently set it down on the karaoke machine. She looked at me and mouthed 'What the hell', and made room for herself at the mic. The song swelled back.

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine,
He gets me my drinks for free,
And he's which with a joke,
Oughta light up your smoke,
But there's someplace that he'd rather be

He says 'Bill I believe this is killing me',
As a smile ran away from his faaaace,
But I'm sure than I could be a movie staaar,
If I could get out of this plaaaace

Sayori started to slowly spin around, once again trying to mimic the golden chords of Billy Joel (believe it or not, a drunk 20-something Japanese girl cannot accurately replicate a 40-something American's deep tones).

The chorus returned.

Now Paul is a real estate novelist,
Who never had time for a wife,
And he's talking with Davey who's still in the Navy,
And probably will be for life

Aaaand the waitress is practicing politics,
As the businessmen slowly get stooned,
Yes they're sharing a drink they call loneliness,
But it's better than drinking alooone

Despite nowhere near being the same instrument, Sayori started tapping her fingers together to the piano notes. Monika saw this and started giggling at Sayori's drunken attempt to fake play the piano (her instrumental forte), her drink shaking and slightly spilling in her hand.

We all leaned into the mic, Monika holding it in place.

Sing us a sooong, your the Piano Man,
Sing us a soong toniiiight,
And we're all in the mood for a melodyyyy,
And you got us feeling allriiiight

"How long is this fucking song?" Yuri said, half-annoyed, half-jokingly.

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday,
And the manager gives me a smile,
Cause he knows that it's me they've been coming to see,
To forget about life for a while

Sayori's made a gesture for everyone to huddle up, and she locked her arms between Yuri and Natsuki. She pulled (well, more like yanked) on my arm to join her drunken conga line.

And the piano sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say 'Maaaan, what are you doin' heeeere?'

We all leaned into the mic, now enveloped in the song.

The music climaxed.

Sing us a sooong, your the Piano Man,
Sing us a song toniiiight,
Well we're out in the mooood for a melodyyy,
And you got us feeling alllriiiiight

Her drinks finally getting the better of her, Sayori stumbled and tripped on her own feet. She yelped in a drunken stupor as she fell off the stage, crashing into a few folded chairs. Monika clutched her knees and starts crying with laughter, almost falling off the stage herself. Her facade of uninterest broken, Yuri sputtered her lips as she drunkenly laughed, grabbing the mic stand for support. Natsuki started shaking with laughter, barely able to stand as she clutched my shirt for balance.

All the while an awkwardly silent audience of drunk teens, off-shift businessmen and homeless bums alike watched the five drunken students laugh their asses off and wander around the stage like children.

From the back of the bar, I could see the bouncer start to move towards us.

"That...was...awesome! Let's do another one!" Sayori yelled from the trashed pile of chairs.

...

After nearly avoiding arrest, Monika ended up cancelling the club meeting that day after, because everyone had massive hangovers.

We had our regular club meeting the day after, and we never spoke of the karaoke night at that crappy hole-in-the-wall bar somewhere in downtown Tokyo ever again.