Thread 19: Stories 61-78

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>Luna
"Applejack"
'Morlock'
~~~~~~

>Applejack? We were searching over the reports for the Equestrian games, and we noticed there are no more pit fights. When did those go out of-DEAR SWEET MOTHER IN THE STARS!

"Luna. Ya' met our guest yet?"

'Hiiisss.... traaaaaaade...'

>WHAT IS THAT THING!?

"Ya' know the weirdest thing? Ah' have no idea. He comes up here, trades some precious ore for some supplies, then he goes. No idea where or why."

'Hiss... Traaaade.'

>What is he saying?

"Ah' think that thing makes it hard ta' talk with. He can barely open his mouth, iffin' it's a he at all."

>So... why don't we throw them out?

"Funny thing bout that?"

She held up the latest chunk the creature had brought her.

"This here? Makes a very special kind o' mineral fertilizer. Makes any crops grown with them a lot healthier, a lot lot. Very, very rare and expensive. But thissin' here just wants a couple o' crates full o' crops and some diggin' tools. Pretty great deal, actually."

>...He frightens us.

"Yeah, he'll do that."

'Thhhhhhaaaaankk...HISSSSS... uuuuuu...."

"No problem."

>... what happens if you try to take off the-

'DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'

"...That."

>This is why we do not get into politics.
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Non-canon
>Chitania
"Ryoga Hibiki"
~~~
BOOM!

>"Now where the hell am I?-!"

>"..."

And slowly, they both retreat back into the darkness from once each had burst forth, hoping to forget, but never would either be able to, an encounter between changeling and human.
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>42
"Chrysalis"
~~~~

>Majesty, this plan...

"Yeeeesss? Tell me how brilliant it is, go ahead."

>Well, I would love to, but, you see, there is a flaw.

"Bullshit, it's water tight."

>Well, no. It's not.

"You show me one little hole, I dare you."

>Well, okay. It's against the rules.

"Which rules? You show me a rule where it says Changelings can't compete!"

>No no, I can compete-

"Then there is no problem."

>...look, I'll just let you read it.

"..."

>...

"...Ah. I see. 'A participant may only enter ONE event at a time, and cannot be in more than one in the same category.' so-"

>So your plan of 'make me do everything' is... flawed. I'll be nice and say it's flawed.

"...Shoot. Now I'm going to have to go actually get a few of the guys in the ballroom."

>It appears so.

"...Unless-"

>No cloning.

"I didn't say that!"

>...

"...fine, I was thinking it."

>What a shock.
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>Chitania
"Farmer"
'Farmer's wife'
~~~~~

"Now look here missy, ya' can't just go around..."

>What? What can't I go around doing? Smashing your pet Manticore's so I can take the corn he was guarding? I can't do that? Well, guess what, I did that. I punched him right in his fangy little mouth, and while he was swallowing his incisors one chunk at a time you know what I was doing? Putting these kernels in my popcorn maker, and I am making popcorn... not regular corn, but the kernels. Regular doesn't work for some reason, Learned THAT one the had way. Took forever to get the roasted ones out of there... they tasted pretty good with butter, though. Need to restock on that. Getting really low.

'...So all ya' wanted was the corn kernels?'

>Was I too vague for you? Yes. I wanted popcorn, and there is popcorn to be made here.

"Not ta' rob us."

>Not of your wealth, no. You don't look like you have all that much anyway.

'We don't.'

>Well, then I will keep my efforts on this one thing of worth, and ignore my disappointment.'

'Iffin' it'll make ya' happy, ya' can have this.'

>Oh! Butter! HAH! You were wise to give this to me so freely. For that, I will simply take this massive bag of your kernels, and let you live. Be thankful.

"We are."

>A wise choice! Now... which way should I go...

"Not through the maze.... miss? Missy? Hey, where'd she go?"

'Huh. She just... vanished.'

"Weird... think she'll come back?"

'Kinda hope so, actually.'

"Really?"

'Yeah... figure we oughta' thank her properly fer' stoppin' that manticore from drivin' us ta' bankruptcy.'

"Got me there, Ah' guess. Let's go let the animals out, they ain't seen the sunlight in months!"
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>Spike
“Applejack”
‘Two’
-???-
________

“…”

>You look stunned, applebutt. Are you stunned? If not, you look it.

Applejack continued to glance over the permission form drafted, surprisingly, by Spike, who she had once upon a time considered an individual of great intellect. But now, after reading this, she was starting to have second thoughts about that. Well, not really, but she was still side-eyeing the dragon.

“Ah’m gonna be upfront with ya, Spike… chances are pretty damn high Ah’ll be denyin’ this request for obvious reasons that Ah’m sure we both know but Ah’m nothin’ if not a fair mare so to that end, ya got five seconds to- how does Harshwhinny say it again? Wow me. Begin.”

The hardened exterior Applejack had set up came crashing down instantly when Spike leaned forward and pressed his lips to her cheek.

“…that’s cheatin’.”

>That’s called strategically greasing the wheels, applebutt.

Applejack coughed into a hoof, waiting for the blush to fade before speaking.

“What yer’ suggestin’… first of all, it don’t make a lick o’ sense, boy. Done glanced it over three times and it still reads like Latin. What’re these… spider things ya keep mentionin’ on paragraph three? Draggin’ ya away and doin’ Celestia knows what else?”

>That’s just it. I don’t ‘know’ what that thing is, it just reminds me of a spider. And it keeps dragging me to the same spot time and time again....

“An’ that would be… where?”

Spike only pointed up at the ceiling.

>Third corridor. First restroom on the right. Fifth stall in. The one 77 came out of.

“…”

>Don’t look so terrified. It always drops me off outside of the toilet and then… th-then it begins to… to....

There was a moment of silence during which Spike couldn’t continue, those old tickling scars bursting open and causing him to quake where he stood.

“Sugarcube…?”

>A-anyway, I have to find out what it is because at the moment, we’ve got an unknown creature of questionable motive roaming the castle. That’s a big security breach in my book and I’ll be damned if it leads to an assassination attempt or something worse.

The form in Applejack’s hoof caught her eye as she skimmed it once more, then fixed the dragon with an appraising stare.

“Even though Ah think ya jus’ pulled that part about security outta yer’ ass as extra incentive-”

>I plead the Fifth on that.

“-that doesn’t explain yer’ choice of partner. Ah’m not hung up on you goin’ off an’ explorin’, Spike. Y’all can pull a Darin’ Do all over Canterlot fer’ all Ah care. But this… Ah can’t. Spike, really, Ah can’t.”

The sound of two boulders grinding together emanated from Spike’s mouth, teeth gnashing as a summons to the surprisingly stern look that adorned Applejack’s face as she laid down her judgment. But he didn’t yell. He didn’t flail about. His tail twitched, and that was it.

>AJ… I can handle this.

“Ah know, sugar. Ah know ya can, but ‘he’ can’t. He can’t handle what yer’ proposin’, it’s took risky. All it’d take is one second of trust wrongly placed and Ah’d never see you again. An’ if that happened….”

She trailed off threateningly, the look flashing over those emerald eyes almost enough to chill Spike’s blood.

He approached the desk, waiting until she had snapped out of whatever macabre revenge fantasy had been playing in her mind to take her by the hoof, the one that precious band hugged.

>You know you’re going to let me do this, applebutt….

“Hawh! Over my fat ass Ah will. Ah’m not riskin’ yer’ life over this, Spike. No, not now, not ever, yer’ too important to too many people. Too important to me….”


>I’m touched to hear that, my cute little applebutt-

“Shaddup, ya idjit…”

>-but this isn’t about that. When you became princess, everything shifted. You changed the established paradigm, made things about redemption and second chances. Hell, people could write a series of stories based on all you’ve done!

“Flattery won’t get ya what ya want, but it might get ya somethin’ else ya keep it up.”

>Raincheck me. Seriously, raincheck me, I’ll be back for that, but what I’m doing… trust me, I know it smacks of dumb but if I don’t do it, nothing will change and it’ll be the first time we failed to try out best at helping someone clearly lost. I don’t want that on my conscious, knowing we could have made a difference, gained back a friend yet we chose to just let them rot. I don’t want that. And neither do you, I know you don't. Please, Applejack, let me do this. Let ‘us’ do this.

“…”

What followed was a silent exchange of stares that seemed to last for hours with Applejack scanning past Spike’s exterior to his conviction. It was the strongest she’d ever seen it; he wasn’t going to waver.

She sighed, dragging that accursed form close. Less than a second later, it was signed with the royal apple signature and she pushed it towards him as though disgusted.

>Thank y-

“Spike, Ah want you to take my next words to heart, okay? ‘Cause Ah’m about to say the most honest thing Ah’ve ever said….”

Her hooves folded over the desk and then she merely smiled.

“If somethin’ happens down there and Ah find out that he didn’t help ya or that he dared trick you in any way… there will be no second chances. That’s all.”

~~~~~~

>Well… this is a surprise. Didn’t expect to meet you here.

After finally calming the wave of dread that came with Applejack’s message, Spike paused outside the guarded entrance to the stockades, staring down at the marchmalley-loving Changeling.

‘Yup! I’m on my way to talk to someone again!’

>By yourself?

‘Hey, it ain’t my first time, ya know! I’m gonna visit him again ‘cuz this time I even managed to get some marchmalley’s!’

Two giddily flashed her baggy of treats as the guards bade them entrance into the winding hallway, soon lined on both side by cells, some occupied, most not.

Spike smiled despite the frosty atmosphere.

>I’m sure he’ll enjoy it.

After some trekking, the two of them came across a cell holding a certain Changeling who glanced at them, initially with disdain, but upon seeing the smaller Changeling, his expression softened somewhat, though whether with pity or actual delight was a mystery.

‘I’m back, 32! And look, look! I brought those marchmalley’s like I said!’

Spike patted Two over the head, not even bothering to extend a greeting to 32 as their last meeting was still very much fresh in his mind. Maybe Two would be able to succeed where others had failed….

>Enjoy yourself, Two, I’ve got someone else to see.

‘Okay, Spike!’

Continuing further, Spike progressed to the point where he could no longer hear Two’s excited chatter, or 32’s ever-weakening barrage of mental strikes that found no purchase against such innocence.

He stopped outside a cell. On the cot within lay a stallion with a straggly blonde mane wearing faded yellow cufflinks. Even though the stallion didn’t move or give any acknowledgment to Spike’s presence, the air was suddenly thick as custard.

>Blueblood.


No response.

>If you want to get out of this dingy cell before your eightieth birthday you’ll damn well turn around to face me.

It was only the slightest of movements but Blueblood’s head turned on its neck, offering up one very red, very strained eye that fixed itself on the dragon.

>Better. Now then, pack your shit. You’ve just been pardoned on good behavior under not escaping when Chitania attacked. But on one condition.

The voice that met Spike’s ears was frayed and hoarse but that deep-rooted accent of posh nobility of it was hard to miss.

-…and that would be?-

>You help me track down a monster.
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non-canon
"Various Changelings"
~~~~~~~

"Wow, we were afraid of this?"

"All those grisly tales?"

"The nightmarish bedtime stories of spiders who swept away naughty Changelings?"

"This is bullshit!"

"I feel cheated!"

"I brushed my teeth for a month straight because of THIS?"

"...it is kinda cute though."

"...kinda, yeah, it's weird, but cute. Cute weird."

"Squee time?"

"Squee time."

"SQUEEEEE!"
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The floor was cold in the center of her lab, but she couldn't bring herself to move.

All around her were the memories, potential threats and dark things to be hanging on every corner of the wall. What once gave her such excitement, such pride, was now nothing but a reminder of what she had done in the name of development.

And that's when the knocking started.

>Twilight?

She'd recognize his voice anywhere, and normally would be elated at his visits. But just this once... she didn't want to see her BBBFF. She didn't want him to see her like this.

>Twilight...

Go away... go away....

>...Do you want to do some Twience?
>Come on and seize the day!
>I never see you anymore, open your door.
>Don't hide yourself away!
>We swore we'd be best buddies, so give me a shot.
>You don't need to hide and cry...
>Do you wanna do some Twience?
>It doesn't have to be some Twience.

She didn't respond. Couldn't even if she wanted to.

>..Come on, Twi.
>Don't you wanna do some Twience?
>Make an orange that's ten feet tall!
>Come on little sister you know it's true.
>I'm here for you.
>No matter all these walls!
>(though they are pretty thick...)
>You have to be feeling lonely.
>Your lab's become a tomb.
>Just watching your research fly.
>(Fwooom! Fwooom Fwoom!)

His efforts were in vain, not a single smile.

>...Twilight?
>Sis, I know you're in there...
>I don't want you to shut in.
>They say don't get discouraged, and I don't want to.
>I want to be here for you, just let me in.
>We've always had each other.
>Twi and Shiny.
>I wish you could see it's true...

>...Do you want to do some Twience?

...

Very slowly, the door creaked open.

~~~~~~~
Obviously based on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCFwghVCvps
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>29
"Zecora"
~~~~~~

*WHUMP!*

>Oh, little couch. How I love thee so. You are my truest of truest friends in a time so dire, a beacon of love from which I may drink akin to a fountain, basking in thine loving, fluffy presence.

"..."

>Shut it.

"Your words, they sting. I did not say a thing."

>I didn't tell you to shut up, I said shut it. I could've been talking about any number of things.

"Your words are not but silly little antics. You may try to bewilder, but in the end it is all semantics."

>Those both end with 'antics', you're just repeating yourself.

"My chitinous friend, are you daft? Every time I speak, I am forever using my craft. To speak like this and waste no time, perhaps sometimes I may cheat a rhyme."

>Noted. I too suffer from the need to speak with the tongue of the intellectuals, and often find myself in repetitious of phrases spoken once before. It is a curse, yet a gift.

"Well, none may say you do not walk the walk. You put forth your best hoof, and do your 'sexy talk'."

>Now don't you start.

"Too late, I have already begun. Your reactions provide too much fun. I notice how every time your eye does twitch, and every speech you give makes her breath hitch."

>Don't... don't be mean to her, MM's nice. She just has an appreciation for the arts.

"Oh, I did not mean to come off with spite. Her enthusiasm is quite a sight. On many an adventure we have both partaken in, if someone tried to speak ill of her I would likely make their head spin."

>Good. She's.... she's too nice for ponies to get down on. She tries. They don't think she tries, but she does.

"...Why?"

>Why what?

"..."

>The orphans thing?

"Indeed."

>We've both gone down a mountain in a bobsled, fought lions, and juggled chainsaws, and only NOW you ask?

"..."

>...Just... you know, I can't just...

"Let them be forgotten? Cast aside by those so rotten?"

>I'm not a monster... well, I'm not THAT kind of monster. Those who walk those cobbled streets would are far less kind to my visage.

"Hmm. Your look certainly gives some of them a fright... but they do not get to witness the children's light."

>Swear I'm going to go blind from that.

"My friend, to lose your sight would make you no less blind than you are right now. In time, I hope your eyes will open more with every completed vow."

>...What?

"Goodnight my friend, and do take care. Who knows what next event we will dare. But one final piece, and take this to the letter... of one to save them-"

Her foreleg wrapped around his neck, and brought him in close for an unexpected hug.

"-they could not have chosen better."

She released him, and out she went.

He just sat there, staring blankly at the door, wondering..

>...And just what are you snickering at?.... I WILL WASH OUT YOUR MOUTH!.... THAT'S RIGHT!

He held up... nothing.

>I'VE MADE GHOST SOAP!

There was no sound to be heard.

And yet, all of ponyville swear they heard the scream of terror.
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>AJ
"Trader Morlock A.K.A Crazy Rekulk"

A tremendous day! A fantastic day! A day among days and even nights! The Trader Morlock circled his goods to ensure it all was accounted for. It had taken hours with the Princess of Red Hanging Mushroo-no, Apples. Aaaaapples. Which are fruit. Anyway, hours of haggling, gesturing, and generally attempting to get his point across, but now -NOW!- he had obtained a windfall that would make his people proud.

Not one, not two, but THREE of the bags of delicious white powder! So sweet, so tasty, the head of metal would be so proud of him when he returned. And all it took was six shimmerstones.

Plit.

What the?

Plit plit plit plit...

The Morlock looked up, odd, the Sky Demon was gone, in its place a blanket of vast dark greyness. With it came a shower of...water? Sky water! What'd the head of metal call it? Run? Rind! RAIN! Sky water was rain!

Then the sky was torn apart by a great white burst of TERROR!

"AIIIIEEEEEEE!"

The Morlock dove to the ground, trying to hide. So this was the Sky Demon's game! It had hidden itself behind the greyness and was attempting to hunt the poor trader! Already he could hear the rumbling of its mighty stomach! He scrambled about in the courtyard, attempting to find a hiding place, all was lost! All was loooooost!

~~~~~~~

Applejack blinked as she watched the creature dart about the courtyard in the rain. That suit of his seemed to do little to impede his agility in a pinch...his common sense however seemed out to lunch.

>Ah should do something about this...

The horror! The terror! The doooooom! The Morlock laid on the ground, curled in a ball, this would be his end, his untimely demise! Killed in service to Zhetri Tuuhl and the head of metal! Struck down in the flower of his youth...whatever a flower was! He-

Was floating?

The Morlock blinked under the reflective goggles of his suit as he found himself surrounded by orange light and levitated out of the courtyard and underneath the safety of the castle's roof.

>Mighty sorry, pal, forgot we had a storm scheduled today.

The Apple Princess! His worthy foe! She had saved him from his fate!

"Thaaaaank...hisssss...uuuuuu!"

>Uh...don't mention it. Look, ah'll make no bones about, yer creepy as all get out, but...ya'll need a place to stay while this blows over?

The Morlock slowly nodded.

>Well then c'mon in, we'll find a spot for ya somewhere.

The hug was unexpected, uncomfortable, and unnerving. Every instinct in her brain said to shove the creature away, but...he meant well.

>Maybe later ya can show us what ya look like under there, if y'know ya won't-

"DIIIIEEEEEE!"

>Yeah, that. C'mon.
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>Spike
"Rarity/Rarity through Charity"
~~~
Spike relaxed in his room in the castle, casually flipping through the latest issue of Power Ponies to anger up the blood

>Man, this is awful what they've done with Luminous Shield... And what's with Radiance and Marevelous going all yandere on Humdrum and eachother?

"Spikey, could you please come to Applejack and I's room! I need your help!"

Sounded urgent, but with Rarity, a lot of things were urgent

>Right away!

He tossed the comic into the trash and rushed into the room, feeling in a good enough mood to strike a melodramatic pose

>Never fear, Spike is- Holy...

There Rarity was, struggling to pull on or off a pair of denim hot pants, it seemed even alicorn magic wasn't helping

"Oh, thank goodness you're here! Spikey, help me get these off, use your firebreath or something!"

>Uhhh...

All he could do was stare at that bouncing, constricted plot waving in the air

He tried to focus himself

"Now these were originally for Applejack, but I decided to try them on and forgot she was still a size smaller than me right now! Curse me voluptuous figure! And my vane desire to have one!"

But the mental image of Applejack in a pair of those sent his mind right back to the gutter

>...

"Please, Spikey! Release me from this hell! I'm begging you! I need to use the bathroom!"

Robotically, Spike grabbed the shorts, and with a mighty pull, managed to get Rarity free

"Oh, you are sent by Celestia's mother herself. Is there anything I can do to thank you?"

>... Don't let anyone disturb me for the next half hour...

Spike said and ran off with the short still in his claws
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Non-canon.

>Chrysalis
“Applejack”

She opened the door to her office, took one discerning glance within, and then dove like a gymnast, using her hoof to slap the mug to the ground. It shattered like glass on impact, marble pieces and coffee flying everywhere.

But Applejack already knew she was too late when Chrysalis merely regarded her with passive eyes that stared from the wasted drink then to her.

>I was rather enjoying that, you know. Can I ask why my drink was handed such a fate?

“Cut the act, ya shifty beetle-”

>Rude.

“-‘cause y’all know damn well yer’ not allowed to have any coffee!”

>Is this a law now? Is there an official document in the archives stating such things? Or is it just the agreement of a general consensus? If the former, I apologize as no one bothered to make mention to me that it was a punishable offense. If the latter, why, I think you owe me a new cup of coffee. Changeling 61 made that for me, he has a remarkable gift for craftsmanship.

“Well, no, it’s not a law per se, but it really should be….”

>For what reason again?

“Fer’ this. Fer’ how y’all act an’… an’ what’re ya doin’ with those forms? Me’n Spike spent two days gettin’ those ready t’ be sorted!”

>I know. I saw. Very good work, and what I’m doing is helping you avoid further potential headaches.

>Ah don’t follow.

>You should know that my non-caffeinated side, the one most dominate lately, is getting ever sneakier. The bill that you accidentally passed last time has only spurred her on to get others accepted.

Applejack scoffed, strolling up to the Queen’s side as her holed hooves sifted through forms at a blinding speed, occasionally pulling one out there, one out here.

“Listen here, ya git, y’all tell yer’ other half or whatever the hell weird schizophrenic thing ya got goin’ on that that was a once-off. We’re triple checkin’ things around here thanks to that. Nothing’s gettin’ past us.”

Chrysalis turned to the apple mare, then lifted up five documents, each one cleverly buried under a mountain of text but boiled down to enabling lewd sex acts to run rampant.

>Then I’ll just assume that you either sorted these while fatigued- which is highly plausible what with the rebuilding- or that you yourself had this drawn up.

“…”

>If it makes you feel better, you can blame Celestia. She’s the one who made you princess, and you’re the one who allowed my hive and I to stay here.

“…thanks, that did sorta make me feel better. Kinda.”

>I’m only here to help. And stop millions of relationships from disintegrating.
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>Chitania
"Gunpony"
~~~~~~

>So... this is called a gun?

"...Yep. That's why we have the great big 'gun store' thing outside. It was subtle, I can see why you'd miss it."

>You just pull the little thingy and then things die?

"Dependin' on where you shoot them, yes."

>...It can't be that powerful.

"Miss? That's a damn handcannon right there. It will rip your limbs clean off iffin' you don't hold it right. And especially if you-... what are you doing?"

>I'm checking to see how strong this is!

"By... by pointing it at your head?"

>Obviously!

"Couldn't you point it at a wall or something?"

>What good will that do?... Hey! Why won't this thing fire!?

"Safety. It's there to keep ya' from shootin' yourself accidentally."

>...Oh, I see, the little switch.

"Miss, I'm going to need that gun bac-"

*BLAM!*

"CELESTIA'S SWEATY BALLS!"

>...

"...Are... are you dead?"

>...It kind of tickles.

"...what...."

*BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM-CLICK!*

>He he! More!

"...fuck this. Here's the keys, store's all yours, just lock it up when you're done and slip the key under the mat, okay?"

>Whatever.

*BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!*

>HEE!

"...I'm not drunk enough for this shit."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~~

>What, you're not even going to show me this one?

"No, I'm just telling you about it so we can have a laugh. Okay, so, Auntie Cylindricus was a special one. How special? Well, apparently, there was even talk of replacing her BEFORE she even ascended, you get me? Hadn't even stepped up to the plate yet and the coach wanted to bench her. So, in order to prove herself, she tried to make a 'new' special ability."

>What was the original?

"They could secrete this weird ooze that made wood pretty soft so they could core it out and burrow in it."

>...That's actually mildly useful. Can you do that?

"Yeah, not that hard. Honestly, pretty useless when I can do the same thing with my magic. But the bigger point is, it wasn't good enough for her. So you know what she did?"

>What?

"She made a technique where, I shit you not, she could 'explode'."

>...As in-

"BOOM! See, her reasoning, and I still laugh at this, her reasoning was 'If I get backed into a corner, and someone tries to get my heart, BLAM! I blast them all away and walk off without a scratch!'. I shit you not, word for word."

>So, I take it she didn't think that through?

"It gets better. Chitania and Mother were there when it happened. They were talking and Cylindricus just struts up, says what I just said to you, and just spreads her forelegs like 'oh yeah, I'm the best!' so Chitania is like 'isn't that stupid?' so she goes 'no! Watch!'..."

>...Boom?

"BOOOOOOM! Goes EVERYWHERE! HAHAAHAHAH!...Ahahaha... and ahaha-, M-mom and Chitty just look at each other, both TOTALLY FINE despite being TWO STEPS from her-AHAHAHA- a-a-nd they just go... "Well, that was odd." And keep talking! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAahaha... t-they just kept talking!"

>...That's horrible.

"Aha... ahahaha..... g-guess you had to be there. Hooo... good times."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>"These ponies are scared of the suit, but I will die if the sky demon sees me...I know! I will go out at night!"

>"Hello ponies, we trade now, yes?"

>"Head of metal, why do ponies only trade torches and pitchforks at night?"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SS
"DT"
~~~~

>What gun is that?

"It's an Uzi. Here check it out."
She aims down the range. BRADADADAUP BRADADADAUP BRADADADADAUP

>Ha, it sounds cute.

"Cute?"

>What about this one?

"That's a mini-uzi."

>It gets smaller?

"Yeah, it's-"

>Adorable!

"What?"

>Wait wait. What's this one?

"That's a micro-uzi and-"

>They made it even smaller!? Oh my gosh, it's so cute!

"Silver, you're going to want to go bigger than-"

>What about this one?

"That's a Derringer and it's only worth one shot."

>But it's so small and just the cutest!

DT facehooves
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-canon?
>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~~~~~~

"Oh, hello darling! Hrm. I see you are not wearing the chic little denim outfit I made for you?"

>Rares, where ya been? Ah've been searchin' all over, need yer help ta wrangle Spike. He's locked hisself in his room wit' mah jeans, Ah'm worried he'll starve in there ... where were ya, anyway?

"Oh, just chatting with our darling trader from the depths. He really is such a breath of fres- ... well, dank, mushroom-scented air, really."

>Whut? You, of all prissy ponies, are gettin' along with a suspected reformed cannibal in a hazmat suit?

"Tsk tsk, you should know I value practical design as well. I even helped Twilight with the design of her new juggernaught flightsuits before she consigned all her research to the tacky flames of self-doubt. Hmph. Anyway, little Rekulk told me the most fascinating things. For instance, did you know they don't have last names down there?"

>Ah did not. Must get awful confusin' with enough a them critters about.

"Indeed. Well, I hear they are taking up the custom after hearing about it from Rekulk. Although they don't seem to ... grasp the idea completely."

>How so? How d'ya mess up a last name?

"Well, so far everyone seems to be picking the name 'Drink of Hanging Red Mushroom'. Rather ... unconventional, is it not?"

>... Mother of Celestia, not y'all too!
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>18
"42"
'77'
HIKE!
[Chrysalis]
~~~
'18, 42 and I need to speak with you a moment.'

>Sure, what's up?

"The consensus list you gave us to check off... What's with some of these names? FanficJack? FireJack (unaccounted but known alive)? JuggleJack? What happened to AJ55 and such?"

>it's just the way the Queen had me write up the consensus.

[Yes, I did! Because my changelings are growing on their own, and they are more than just a number. Speaking of which, how does RipperJack sound?]

'Like I'm some kind of murderer of prostitutes.'

"That's awfully specific, but another problem is, the is is incomplete, I mean, who are those guys?"

[That's Queenling! You know, FreddieJack and such.]

'Alright, fair enough, but... Who is that? Is that really one of ours? They don't even look like a changeling.'

>77!

"How rude!"

[Yeah, don't make fun of MechJack. He's just different.]

'... Okay... Then who's that one who keeps jumping around and exploding into bursts of light?'

>He does seem new...

[Oh, that's JumpingJackFlash!]

'... I feel like i should face hoof but I don't know why.'

"Same here..."
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>AJ
"Guard"
'Crazy Rekulk'

>Really. He just walked in there? No input from you bunch whatsoever?

"Hey after your 'bonding exercise' with the changelings we've been assuming everything'll end in us having to fight whatever pisses off and none of us wanna go NEAR that thing let alone get in a boxing match with it-our guy totally won that by the way."

>The two twitching bodies on the ground said otherwise. But yeah...he just walked into the broom closet?

"Right inside. We've heard some rustling around inside there, but other than that, he's been silent."

>That can't be good...

AJ grimaces, unsure if she really wants to open the door.

>Ah'll just...knock.

With great trepidation, she did so. The door slowly creaked open, and a sickly yellow eyes regarded her from the darkness.

'Is it gone?'

>Uh...is what gone?

'The sky demon, the evil creature that stalks my people. Is it the time when its gentler brother hangs in the sky?'

>The sun? Yeah, it's night.

In the next instant a blur slid past her and was galloping out of the room.

'Hurrah! I must return to the delicious white powder! I hope it is undamaged!'

AJ looked at the guards all around.

>Did anyone get a good look at that guy?

A multitude of heads shook.

>Damn, at least ah know where he's going...hope he realizes sugar goes bad when ya leave it in the rain...
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