Tsunderequestria

>Day 1 in Equestria.
>Twilight Sparkle discovers you and immediately begins research.
>After a few hours, your stomach growls, and she covers a snicker with a hoof.
"Excuse me, I know you're all excited about discovering a new species, but can I get something to eat?"
>Twilight seems taken aback, and makes a disgusted face.
>"I bet you eat something gross, like manticore shit or something. Sorry, new monster, all I'm giving you is a SALAD. If you don't like it, you can starve."
>She brings you a salad, and you eat it happily.
"Thanks, Tw."
>"Hey! D-don't thank me for that!"

>Day 2, meeting the princess.
"So, I'm unable to return home, huh?"
>"Yes, I'm afraid it's far too much trouble to figure out a way home for you, so you're going to have to stick around."
>She looks down at you, mane and tail flowing off to one side.
"Well that blows. How about helping me get on my feet then? Could you do that?"
>"Pssshhh, Twilight, why do you always find the WEIRD ones? I GUESS you can stay with HER. But I can't just punish her for having the misfortune to come across YOU. So you'll have 100 bits every week."
"Really? Sounds like a bunch. Thank-"
>"N-not like...I care about you being well fed with a roof over your head, o-or anything."


>Day 3, getting some clothes.
>Twilight ditches you at Carousel Boutique
>"Hmmph, I don't know WHY you insist on wasting my time with such USELESS requests. But I suppose you would be disgusting if you wore the same thing all the time, so I'll do what I can."
"Thanks. I know making clothes for some new race must be hard."
>"Just strip down already so I can get the measurements. I d-don't want to see your naked form any longer than I have to, you know!"
>You strip off the clothes, and her hooves and magic and measuring tape is all over your body in an instant.
"Hey! A little too eager there?"
>"Sh-shut up! I said I wanted to do this fast, now hold still!"
>A few hours later...
>"Here are your clothes. Now get out of my store, and don't let anyp0ny else see you naked!"
"Anyp0ny else?"
>"J-just GO!"
>She slams the door on you after dumping all the clothes in your arms before you ask how much you owed.
"Cool, free stuff."


>Day 4, helping in the fields.
>You don't want to live off the 100 bit per week stipend, so you look for work with Applejack.
>"Now you expect me to jus GIVE you a job? Ha. Prove to me you're not worthless first, then we cn talk."
>You climb up the tree and exert your weight in its boughs, shaking it enough to empty all the apples from it.
"How was that, Applejack? Do I have the job or what?"
>"Well, at least you're not completely useless. Ahm givin you this job, but you'll have to work harder every day ta keep it or yer fired!"
"Sweet. Easiest interview I've ever seen."
>"Oh y-yeah? Well ahm only givin you this job because ah wanna bone ya secretly!"
"...right, well, I'll see you tomorrow."

>Day 5, a performer comes to town and you watch the ensuing magic show.
"Well that was pretty cool. I almost started taking magic for granted since it's so common here, your show was very entertaining!"
>"Iloveyou."
"What?"
>"Iloooooveyou."
>She smiles and giggles, blushing.
>"Do you wanna be together?"
"Nope."
>You amscray.
>"Please, let me love yoooo~uuuu!"
"Nopenopenopenope."

>Day 6, Nightmare Moon returns again.
>"Muahahaha! Now I have all of Equestria under my hoof!"
>But her weakness is love, like every other villain in this crazy candlyand.
>Time for some hero action.
"Hey Darkie, I brought you some chocolates."
>"Darkie!?"
>She blushes at the pet name, before shaking her head.
>She takes the chocolates and begins to trample them.
>"You shall only call me by my full name!"
"Alright Nightmare Moon, if that's what you want~..."
>She turns a shade of purple and flies off, never to be seen again, though you could swear the moon has a blush at night.

>Day 7, where you're finally getting that Pinkie party.
"I still don't see why we didn't have this party when I first got here."
>"Yeah, I can see that.You wouldn't know how to plan a party if it hit you in the face."
"I'll say. If a party hit me in the face, the only thing I'd be planning is revenge."
>The pink mare chuckles, but when she notices you look at her, she glares.
>"What's so funny, Anonymous?"
"Apparently, me."
>"Oh shut up."
>She continues to laugh at every joke and pun that night.

>Day 8, when you want to get a pet because all the ponies in this town are crazy and you need something to keep you company that won't act weird.
"So Fluttershy, mind if I call you Flutters?"
>"U-um, yes...."
"Cool, so I was looking to find a pet to keep me company."
>"O-oh, well I have just the perfect thing for you, Anonymous."
"You do? Finally, a straightforward pony."
>She takes you through the room and stops at a rock.
>"This will be the perfect pet for you, considering how well it compliments your intelligence."
"Ah, the old pet rock routine."
>You put your ear up to it.
"What is it boy? You know the answers to life and won't complain when you pull double duty as a paperweight? I like you already."
>"U-um, it was supposed to be an insult."
"Whatever Flutters."
>You walk back home with your new pet, Lassie.


>Day 9, where you're trying to have a relaxing day at the spa.
>"I do not see why we should even touch you."
"Because I'm a paying customer and I want a massage? Not that your hooves would be any good anyway."
>Oh yeah, reverse psychology.
>"We shall see about that! Lotus! Prepare the bipedal table!"
>Minutes later you are lying face down into the table, while hooves beat, push, and knead your muscles, melting your nerves away.
>You should have thought about this as soon as you landed in the new world. Definitely would have taken the edge off.
>Aloe is standing on your back, stepping and pushing into certain spots.
"Your every touch is so soffffft..."
>She stammers for a second, then begins to slam her hooves down, generally using more force.
>It feels sooooo gooooood...
>"H-how do you like that, Anonymous? Suffer beneath my hooves!"
"Whatever you do, don't strike me a little lower and to the left..."
>Ahhhhh...