Frustration and Confession

[It’s late at night. He’s walking you home via the park after finishing a date.]

I really enjoyed tonight. Did you?
<Pause>
Aw, thank you. I like talking to you too. Conversation with you always seems… meaningful, you know?
<Pause>
Are you blushing? <giggle> But it’s true! I don’t think I’ve been out with another guy like you. You listen – really listen – to me. You always make me think. It feels like we both open ourselves up when we go out.
<Pause>
That’s really rare.
<Long pause as you walk along>

[You reach out to try to rest your head on his shoulder. He edges away.]

{Angry/irritated/hurt voice} Alright, that’s it. Why’d you just pull away from me?
<pause>
This is the forth time we’ve been out. And every time I’ve tried to touch you, you pull away.
<pause>
What the hell do you mean, you don’t understand?! I’ve tried touching your hand, brushing your shoulder… but each time you pull away.
<pause>
It hurts. You say such nice things to me and have made every time out we’ve had together be so wonderful, but every time I try to let you know that I like you and that it’s okay to come closer you… just… pull away.
<pause>
{Confused voice} What? Of course I like you. It’s been four dates and I just tried to rest my head on your shoulder. That’s why I try to touch you. I’m trying to get closer to you, and you just push me away!
<pause>
You’re really hurting me. Have I done something wrong? Don’t you like me? I really don’t understand, and it’s not fair for you to play games with me like this.
<pause>
You didn’t know?
<pause>
Of course I didn’t say it, but you don’t really need to say these things, do you? It’s on the smile on my face… the way I lean close, and then when I try and touch you. You… you know that, right?
<pause>
You can’t pick up on my emotions? What does that even mean? {Slightly angry} I’m not going to put up with you trying to play games with me like this.
<long pause>
{Surprised} What?
<pause>
…autism?
<pause>
Yeah, no, I… I kind of know about it. But I didn’t think that…
<pause>
{slow} You just can’t pick up on the non-verbal things?
<pause>
You don’t like to be touched without knowing? But…
<pause>

[You have both stopped walking]

{sad, regretful} I’m so sorry. I was hurt because I thought you were snubbing me or playing with my feelings.
<pause>
No, no, no… it’s… you should have told me earlier. I’ve been feeling confused for the last few dates. Really confused.
<pause>
There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Now that I know, it all makes sense.
<pause>
{gentle and close voice} Let me state it outright. You’re smart, kind, interesting, and amazing. There’s nothing wrong with you, and I really like you. In that way. <giggle>
<pause>
Can I hug you?
<pause>
As long as you know? Okay, well I’m going to hug you.
<pause>
<contented humming> There. I’ve got you. I’m gonna give you a squeeze, alright?
<pause>
Yeah, you can put your arms around me as well.
<pause>
Oh, {muffled} I feel so safe against your chest. <giggle> I’ve wanted something like this from you for ages…
<pause>
{reassuring voice in ear} Is this okay?
<pause>
Thank you for telling me.
<pause>
{surprised} Of course I want to keep going out with you! <giggle>
<pause>
Unless I tell you otherwise, {faux bossy} you MUST believe that I want to be with you and get closer to you. Yeah? Because you are amazing.
<pause>
Shhh… it’s okay. I’m so happy right now that you opened up to me about yourself there. I know it’s not easy, and I know it must be scary to tell people. It must be so hard – having to pretend to know and understand people when can’t read them at all.
<pause>
{sad} I don’t want you to feel confused or alone with me ever, okay? I want you to be open with me about what you feel, and I’ll do the same with you. You won’t have to be confused or do guesswork with me around, okay?
<pause>
Just hold me for a while longer. I like this. I like your arms.
<contented murmurs and cuddling, improv/adapt for as long as needed>

Right. Would you like to walk me the rest of the way home?
<pause>
And would you like to come inside with me? There’s a documentary I think I’d really like to watch with you…
<pause>
Yeah? Good. Can we hold hands on the way back?
<pause>
Thank you. I mean it.