Etienne & nugget

>wandering through last hour of gun show
>walk past old guy cleaning up his table of revolvers
>he's been here before, he can't seem to sell this one antique
>be rifle guy, not much interest in pistols, see if I can get a deal
>already live with crazy moist nugget ghost who tries to get me to dig trenches in the yard
>guy practically gives me it
>take it home and look it up
>1892 french service revolver
>weird calibre, no production ammo, no brass, no bullets
>one recipe posted on line, similar to 32 s&w long
>order a handful of brass and bullets

>wake up next morning to the tittering of women's voices in the kitchen
>dry shirt, no pool of drool from the nugget ghost
>wander down to the kitchen
>the nugget is sharing a pot of tea with another woman, looking serious for the first time ever
>god dammit, another gun ghost
>she rises to greet me and bows slightly "Good morning"
>a very slight continental french accent
>dressed head to toe in black: floor length skirt, pleated blouse, bow tie, the works
>deep brown hair done up into a french style braid
>bonerpls.jpg
>make breakfast, she spends the entire time staring at me while drinking her tea
>nugget is starting to get flustered, starts sneaking vodka
>1892 pretends to not notice as you snatch the flask away
>where does she get it from anyway?
>nugget grabs it back while howling in russian, disappearing into the wall
>left sitting at table with other ghost
>feel bad for nugget, but she gets crazy when she drinks
>1892 sighs into her tea
>one gun ghost is more than enough, but two is going to do you in
>tell 1892 that if she wants to stay in the house while you figure out what to do with her there's rules
>drinking is to kept private, no haunting the neighbours, the house is to remain clean
>no trenches in the front yard rule gets a raised eyebrow from the ghost
>1892 agrees and introduces herself as Etienne
>weird, nugget didn't have a name

>couple of days go by
>nugget has been sneaking into the bed at night when Etienne isn't around
>leaving drool again
>nugget will only talk to me
>Etienne is the opposite of nugget: quiet, non-drinker, clean
>spotted her cleaning up behind nugget
>wake up to a pot of tea every morning
>bullets and brass show up
>load up that recipe I found
>test fit completed cartridge for OAL
>spot Etienne sitting with knees together gripping her skirt face beet red
>seen this face on nugget before, but she's more "open" about it
>this is actually kinda cute
>time for gentle bulli
>ask her if she's feeling ok, is there something wrong?
>she gasps out that the cartridge is a little long
>smile and tell her that the best cartridges are snug to the front of the chamber
>she gasps slightly "how lewd!"

>rip out fifty rounds
>time for test firing out the back door
>suck at shooting pistols
>Etienne is visibly vibrating, can hardly follow
>face even deeper red
>line up on the berm and cock back for single action and fire
>Etienne moans loud enough to hear through the ear plugs
>finger trigger and fire with double action through the rest
>she's moaning and panting leaned up against the wall her butt sticking out slightly
>a few more cylinders later and she can almost keep her composure while firing
>she's totally different from nugget
>nugget jumps up and down and rages in russian at whatever we're shooting at
>then proceeds to keep the neighbours up all night loudly rubbing it out

>Etienne sneaks into the room that night and crawls awkwardly into bed while trying not to wake anything
>doesn't work
>look down to find Etienne snoring peacefully with her head on my chest
>a creak at the door and a glimpse of nugget's pouting face before drifting off again
>wake up to ghost sandwich
>shirt is soaked
>they both drool, it's kinda cute

>settle into routine at home and work
>wake up to peel two ghosts off
>take Etienne to work squirrelled away in the backpack
>nugget does whatever nuggets do during the day
>probably getting into street fights with mausers or something
>come home for supper while Etienne drinks tea with nugget
>if we can intercept nugget before she starts drinking we go to the range
>actually spot in the woods with some logs as a berm
>nugget and Etienne work well together
>the russian being especially critical of the ranged shooting
>misses earn a swat on back of the head
>Etienne is careful with her instruction
>she holds herself close and holds my arm at the wrist
>no matter how fast we shoot, it's always smooth like a dance
>good runs through the course earn a peck on the cheek

>come home from work early one day, twisted a drive shaft off
>find front door open
>draw Etienne, her ghost close behind across the lawn
>step across the threshold and start sweeping the main floor
>hear shrieking from living room
>find nigger in living room fingering the shitty tv
>nugget is loosing her mind, wants to use her bayonet for its intended use
>Etienne grabs my arm as the man lunges and pulls me out of the way as he bolts to the door
>nugget is already chasing the attempted thief
>Etienne has her arms wrapped around me her whispers begging to let the man go
>Call cops and report it to the responding officer
>kinda pissed at the situation and the ghost for stopping the removal of a piece of shit
>she knows it too, she's sitting at the table staring at her lap
>finish supper and ask her what the fuck that was
>she spends the evening letting her story out
>she killed a lot of people
>too many of her owners were killed
>after the last war she become a prize and lived a quiet life with her owner until he died of old age
>the first one to do so
>she now had found an owner who gave a shit about her and wasn't about to risk him being foolish
>feeling kinda bad for being angry
>walk around the table and kiss the girl on the lips
>ever seen a gun cry? You don't want to.
>kiss her again through the tears
>it's late, it's been a long day and sleep is starting to creep up
>pick her up and drag her to bed
>ghosts are light but it must be a pistol thing to be this light
>seat her at the edge of the bed and start peeling her coat and blouse off
>skirt is next, revealing an extremely modern set of bra and panties
>she's turning red
>tuck her into bed and crawl in beside her wrapping both in the fluffy blankets

>next day dawns to find rattling in the kitchen
>nugget's back and she's singing "dark-eyed cossack girl" while putting the kettle on
>she's singing in the baritone of a long dead russian solder
>last time she did that was after the two of you nailed that coyote who was killing the neighbourhood dogs
>flip on the radio to catch the news
>report of some "trayvon" who was killed after approaching the police with a weapon
>no weapon was found after but a small girl was seen fleeing the area shortly after
>the man's mother was quoted saying "he dindu nuffin"
>a glance at nugget as she twirls and sweeps across the floor
>probably best not to ask

>first pot of tea was nearly gone along with breakfast when Etienne finally wandered down
>the tea handed to her in her favourite cup gets a barely registered nod
>she's blearily eyeing nugget as the same slouches on the table humming another forgotten tune
>a shaken head is the response to Etienne's unstated question
>she smiles slightly and taps the side of her head
>fucking guns, she probably figured it out

>breakfast is over, time to wage war on the weeds in the potato patch
>both guns and their girls come out for some sun
>a couple of hours of hoeing and the decision is made
>explain to Etienne that she will be the guard of the household
>it's now her job to keep the people and other guns safe, whatever that takes
>she's blushing again with both hands over her mouth in an attempt to hide a huge grin
>keeps repeating "yes, of course!"
>an unintended miscommunication has likely occurred but it's unfathomable as to what
>get back to hoeing
>gotta do it right or nugget'll get weird again
>where is that girl anyway?
>she's leaned over the back fence shaking her fist and yelling incoherently
>at a mauser a block away who is doing the same before she is suddenly yanked back into her yard
>huh

>the past few days since the thief's timely end have been interesting
>a group of thugs have started rioting downtown smashing and burning cars
>whole city is on edge
>asked nugget why people are terrible to each other
>she smiled sadly and told me it gets far worse when the demons come
>she stopped talking after that for a while

>went shopping with Etienne one evening saw a group of men boarding up stores
>they mostly had new stuff save for a tired looking Hopkins & Allen who looked far to thin for what was going to be asked of her
>Etienne wished her luck with a hug
>she got a headpat while Etienne wasn't looking
>I hope I see her again, she seemed nice

>the girls and I watched buildings burn on the news
>we're far enough out that we shouldn't have much risk but Etienne insisted on inspecting the area around the house herself before bed
>mentioned that she ran into the mauser down the road doing the same
>at least we're not alone tonight

>Etienne has changed
>she smiles a bit more
>laughs a bit longer
>she's quite bold, coming to bed at the same time instead of sneaking in
>her sleepwear is getting... thinner
>must be a french thing
>nugget still sneaks in and drools but has been caught still sleeping in the morning
>less drinking too since she's on guard since the riots
>still falls off the crate once in a while
>go to work one morning
>lock the door, turn around
>step into nothing
>chest hits the far side of the excavation and tumble into a trench
>Etienne comes to the door in answer to the pained cries
>gasps as she steps from the door to both the broken human at the bottom and the sheer size of the excavation
>pauses and squints at the network of trenches
>"nugget, is this Crimea 1943?"
>a moist nugget complete with bayo inbeds itself into the earth beside Etienne
>followed closely by a completely uniformed and filthy nugget who perches proudly on the piles of dirt between trenches
>"Da! Those filthy fascists will never take us now comrade ally!"
>smug bitch, we both know how that turned out for the soviets
>climb out of trench
>now have limp and a possible concussion
>then managed to really put a foot in it
>"Hunny, I have to go to work and can you please get nugget to clean this up before she kills the mailman"
>both guns are staring
>oops, Freudian slips and all
>ha ha!
>humans can't be in relationships with guns, right?
>they're still staring as the truck pulls away

>same day
>having lunch in a nearby restaurant
>aw yiss, motherfucking freedom fries
>hunting buddy sits down across
>learn lots about old guns from this guy
>casting, paper patching, weird loads
>ghosts love him even if he can't see them
>his winchester told me that they whisper to him in dreams
>hope his will is solid when he croaks, otherwise some gunnapping is going to happen
>asks how the riots went
>tell him about buying and loading Etienne
>he's pretty keen to see how she shoots
>tells of another gun guy he met down the street from me
>says the young guy has a mauser and an antique pistol, will set up a meeting some time
>this sounds familiar, pretty sure the guns already know each other

>stopped at a saddlery that got spotted a little while ago when hauling up north
>got the kid to build a shoulder holster for Etienne
>pay through the nose for custom work
>At least can carry her properly now
>get home a little late
>front yard is perfect
>pretty sure there's even a dog poop on the lawn
>Etienne is attempting to learn to cook
>stole the xmas apron that floats around the house
>she's getting better, less heat and more patience
>while we're waiting she gets fit in the new holster and the whole affair is strapped on
>her tomato ancestry is showing
>"I can be with owner all day, and so close"
>a slight wiggle is added to the statement
>her supper masterpiece is egg drop ramen with garlic
>tell her it's actually good
>she snaps up straight with her cup of tea neatly against her lips trying to hide a smug smile
>washing dishes, Etienne is drying when there's a knock at the door
>answer to find a clean cut youngish man haunted by a very stiff, imperious looking ghost
>do my best to maintain a focus on the human
>people get weird when you shift your attention between them and empty space
>he introduces himself as Brian, who lives just down the road and had some reloading questions
>invite him in
>Etienne doesn't look up from the dishes when the other ghost walks through the kitchen
>"haven't seen a Reichsrevolver in a long time"
>the ghost stops for beat, nods at Etienne, and continues on to sit with her owner at the table
>find the guts for the coffee percolator and making small talk with Brian
>get a good look at the reichsrevolver
>average height, brown hair pulled back to a ponytail, dark blue summer dress
>the imperious look doesn't waver

>Brian explains how he acquired the old revolver from an estate sale with a mauser 98
>wants to load for both
>listens intently to Etienne's experience
>at a pause in the conversation he puts his coffee on the table and gets a serious look
>"We should go to the range sometime, but I don't know if we can keep the rifles from killing each other off."
>wut
>"holy shit dude, how did you think I know to ask you? your mosin starting shit with Arge and digging trenches?"
>man's got a point
>had no idea there was others who could see ghosts, but nugget wasn't shy either

>ask straight up if he can see the ghosts
>his hand grasps the revolver's, intertwining their fingers
>a soft gasp comes from the kitchen
>the reichsrevolver blushes
>that's some bold moves, good thing there's no children around
>she introduces herself as "Pinky"
>the mauser is "Arge", apparently she thinks she is an Argentinian 98
>actually a true M98
>chuckle about the delusions of rifles
>the pistols nod solemnly
>plans are made for a range trip in a couple of days to give the girls some exercise

>bidding the pair a good night
>Etienne clumsily trips and grabs a hand to steady herself
>she's not letting go
>standing in the doorway
>she refuses to make eye contact
>won't let go either
>getting awkward
>have to peel her hand off
>get huffy cheeks from her in response
>she crawls into bed a bit later then usual

>off to the range
>Etienne asked that all her rounds be knocked down, evened and sized to the tightest tolerance
>she insisted that nugget's ammo get the same treatment
>old scores are to be settled
>nugget knows something's up
>usually gets to ride in the box to the range
>gets forced into the cab
>getting the dead fish eyes
>can probably smell the fear
>assure her we're going to the range, not the gunsmith
>learned she has sharp teeth last time we went
>she swept the whole house when she came home the night Pinky and Brian were over
>now am locking her in the cab for a trip
>Etienne isn't helping, the tension is thick enough to cut
>nugget explodes out the truck at the range, heads for the woods

>Brian is pulls up in a shitty compact a while later
>the car is immediately assaulted by nugget trying to claw her way into Arge
>Arge crawls through the skylight and attacks nugget from above
>why they don't float through stuff to get at each other is a mystery of the universe
>both are flailing their arms as they try to slap the other
>nugget appears to be winning as she drives Arge into the woods
>both revolvers look mortified
>Pinky leans over to Brian and asks what he what they were going to do
>Brian sighs
>"same thing we do every time we come to the range Pinky, let her try to take over the world"

>setting up at the picnic table
>check over Pinky's loads
>Etienne pretends that she isn't jealous of the attention Pinky's getting
>been able to get good groups without Etienne's help
>not happening this time
>got her pinned up against my back, her arm in line with mine
>no helpful tips in the ear this time
>not allowed to fuck up
>dishonour is worse then death
>she'll accuse me of insulting Sergei Mosin in front of nugget
>three shots are nine ring
>interrupted by Arge laying siege to nugget who has flipped the next table over claiming it as "russian clay"
>rocks, 12 ga hulls, insults flying
>point at woods
>"first one to the forest gets the winter palace!"
>positions are abandoned as both break to the trees
>tactics bitches

>Pinky shoots with Brian for the first time
>don't watch out of politeness
>turn around to find Pinky a quivering mess on the ground
>Brian drags her to the car to calm down
>Etinne's a little too smug
>like she was any better
>the rest of Etienne's ammo gets planted into a beer can making it dance out of range
>get polite applause from Brian
>things get serious when the rifles come out
>propane tanks, car wheels, and the keg at five hundred get more holes
>a set of skis and we could hold the soviets back

>it's been a little too quiet
>nugget and Arge haven't reappeared
>Pinky volunteers to go search
>Etienne can't abide, and demands to go as well
>crack a beer and wait for the guns to come back
>two beers later and the four guns emerge from the trees followed by a very shabby fifth

>looks like she's been through hell
>dirty, a little too skinny, dressed in the tatters of an OD dress and jacket
>hanging off Arge and nugget
>Etienne and Pinky lead them out of the forest
>all four look upset
>get the story from Etienne
>rifles were fighting in the woods
>stumbled on ghost sitting under tree by the pond
>the ground had grown up around her
>rifles couldn't make her budge
>said that her owner would be back to claim her
>Pinky promised her that we'd find her owner if she came with
>her owner threw her into the lake in a fit after she broke her firing pin
>it's been thirty two winters
>the enfield is holding her arms in front of her, staring at the ground

>ask if she knows where in the pond she ended up
>she nods, it's too deep for her
>ask nugget to lead us back
>bit of trek, thank god for road beer
>ask ghost what she is
>Lee Enfield Mk1, goes by Lee
>as far as ponds go it's pretty nice, couple of hundred yards across
>needs a swinging tree
>ghost points at a spot just off shore
>time for some fishing
>spend twenty minutes diving for it
>Brian takes over, Lee keeps pointing him at the same spot repeatedly
>one more time, he's down there a while
>breaks the surface with rusted hulk of a rifle over his head
>Etienne gasps and touches the back of my arm
>the two rifles audibly groan, Pinky goes stony
>get a look at the rifle while Brian recovers
>wood's rotten, action solid, magazine a couple rusty leaves in the bottom
>overall not as bad as expected

>heading back to the vehicles
>Lee is excitedly telling nugget and Arge about how much she's looking forward to seeing her owner
>the two rifles put on false smiles, but their eyes are betray them
>the more Lee talks the angrier Brian gets
>with the vehicles in sight he loses it, starts yelling towards the rifles
>the three start cowering
>high points include spineless british rifles and shitty owners
>he collapses on nugget's upturned picnic table while nugget and Arge comfort a sobbing Lee
>Pinky sits beside him her arms wrapped around his waist
>poor sweet summer child, he's never been to a gun amnesty

>through her sobs, Lee mumbles out that she must be with her owner
>Brain walks up, grabs the sides of her face
>"look at me. I am your owner now."
>she's crying harder
>that's nice, a good end for Lee
>looks like it's time to make a graceful exit

>trip home is quiet
>nugget gets the truck box to herself but her heart isn't in it
>Etienne is dead silent
>Unload the guns and gear into the house
>Etinne has borrowed nugget's vodka and is pulling on the flask like water in the desert
>gently pull the flask from her and put it down on the counter
>the dam breaks
>she's clinging to my jacket sobbing and begging to never be abandoned like that
>gut wrenching
>hands on her arms
>try to reassure her
>she's nearly insensate
>tugging on the jacket balled in her fists
>starts repeating "I love you" over and over
>pull her into a hug and squeeze
>"I'll never let you go, because I love you too"