11-16 Baptism Testimony

My name is Taylor; I'm married to my husband Josh, and I just turned 34 in August. I'm grateful to be standing before you today: so many of you have warmly welcomed me to FBC. Thank you for making me feel at home in such a short time.

I grew up going to church for as long as I can remember. I memorized verses, had a solid attendance sheet, and at one point, considered myself a believer. All I can say is Isaiah 6 resonates with me: I heard, but I did not see. Yes, I heard the gospel, but I did not truly understand it. Plus, I felt mostly judgment at the church I grew up in. Meanwhile, non-believers were the people who made me feel loved and accepted. One night in 2017, my roommate and I joked about how I was a “lukewarm Christian” to “be spit out” (Revelation 3:16). I realized then and there that it wasn’t funny, and it was time for me to stop calling myself a Christian. Instead, I chased my career, hobbies, and boyfriend (now husband).

This year, 2025, my new year’s resolution was to learn music. I searched up teachers in the area, and, conveniently, it turns out my neighbor offered lessons. At the first lesson, I saw Bible verses on the wall and Christian books on the shelf. I went home to my husband and said, "Ugh! This lady is a Christian." I was afraid she was going to judge me, so I judged her first.

But, she never did judge me. At our weekly lessons we would get to know each other, and started going for walks around the neighborhood. We became friends. There were very few Christians in my life who lived authentically, but I believe her when she says she loves God and Jesus. All she did was love me. No matter what I said or revealed about myself, she didn't change her tune; in fact, we just became closer and closer friends. And I became curious... what was I missing all this time? I can't tell you how many times I prayed to accept the gift of Jesus Christ, memorized John 3:16, and all those types of rituals growing up. Yet, God always felt distant. I didn't feel it. Or get it. Until now.

This new friend I've been talking about, you all probably know Meena Harlow. She gave me the book "Knowing God" by J.I. Packer. I learned more from that one book than in all the years I spent in church.

I grew up in fear of God, His wrath, constantly disappointed in myself for trying and failing, and unsure of how to, quote, "be a good Christian." My idea of God was way off base. J.I. Packer's book goes into so much depth about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit – it just clicked for me. The whole picture is much more complex than "Jesus died on the cross for my sins." The way Jesus satisfies the covenants God made with Abraham, Noah, Moses, and David, among other details revealed through Scripture, opened my eyes to the truth. God is loving, good, Holy, unchanging — I can rely on Him, trust Him. He is worthy; worthy of my trust, praise, and love. Finally, after all this time, I feel it: His love. There is only one path to God, to life, through Jesus, and since then, He has poured his love all over my life. All other roads lead to death; every hobby I chased, every path I followed, all led to unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Reading the book, undeniably, a vivid picture of my sin came into view. Sadly, I used to think I was better off now than ever before: so smug in my tolerance, progressive beliefs, whatever. I was wrong. I’m so coated in sin. God revealed to me just how grave my sin was and is. So, I repented for real.

God meets you where you are. He met me where I am. I didn't do anything; no work I perform out of fear, pride, or even faith could save me; it's all Him, and He came to me. He gave me exactly what I needed when I needed it — love, and a true friend. I've never felt such relief, that, despite everything, He did not forget me.

Now I see God and His love in my daily life. Starting with the Bible, every time I get stuck or unsure of the message, He leads me to the answer: I'll randomly pick a sermon from folks like RC Sproul, The Bible Project, or John MacArthur and the message will reference or explain the verses I just read. Charles Spurgeon's morning and evening devotionals almost always line up with what I'm going through in my life at the moment. I was facing the potential of a chronic health issue this year: multiple tests were repeatedly trending in the wrong direction, so I prayed, "Lord, please help me with this. I don't want to go through this, but if it's Your will, help me through it." And the next test came back totally normal. Maybe I'll have to deal with it later, if it's God's will, but for now, I'm ok, and that result was not a coincidence; God pours His goodness on me. For all the unbelief in my life, that is the hardest to comprehend: God loves me and pours out His grace and providence for my benefit and His glory. The most humbling part of this is that there is a Creator God who cares about me and you, of all people, through all the ages; He is still here, now, for us. It has truly changed my life.