4chan Hazbin Hotel story - Hell Movies

from /hhg/ Hazbin Hotel general #408
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so on these forums they take this uh this pink, red, devil guy brendan. they're a demon, they're called alastor, they're the radio demon, brendan.
no one knows why he's so powerful or who he really is and he has animal ears. so you know he's legit brendan. that's, i stay in touch with the, uh, the times, brendan. the zeitgeist. and if you want to, you know, signal to these milennials and youngsters and crap that you mean business, you uh you wear a suit. and it's an unconventional color. like red. or black. no, not black. and he has a top hat. top hats are important, brendan. anyway, so it's this guy, the radio demon, but he's dressed like a catholic priest.

because he's a demon, it's like contradictory brendan. it's irony.
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"you summoned a, uh-"
"a demon, brendan, yes, a demon, a creature from Hell. the inferno. you summon it and it does what you tell it to"
"but- why?? I don't-"
"brendan listen i've dabbled okay? in the occult. and satanism. for a few weeks. in college. i keep an open mind and i've seen some dark, uh, dark things, brendan. scary crap that'll keep you up at night."
"Okay-"
"and, listen, i've, well, i'll just say it, brendan, i've been pretty lonely. that's god's honest truth so to speak. and, you know, i figured, if i scare up a demon, right? and- and it has to do whatever i say. brendan."
"right."
"you understand what i'm saying."
"sure."
"and what we end up with is, like, a companion who'll do whatever you say. and it's a demon, and not a person, so it's legal."
"ok."
"and sometimes encouraged."
"ok- but uh, coach mcguirk what about your soul?"
"brendan i coach soccer. what- what soul? show me. where's my soul."
"okay, okay-"
"but now look at this! now i'm stuck with that guy. the- the spider guy."
"yeah, why does he look like that?"
"i don't know, brendan. i don't know. spiders are- i don't know, brendan, i'm not a zoologist."
"you can't just, i dunno, banish him or something-"
"brendan don't be ridiculous. brendan. i'm not some evil sorcerer or something, brendan, i can't BANISH things. if i could we wouldn't be having this conversation."
"right"
"i cou- i would banish you, brendan. i'd say, BRENDAN BEGONE. and it would work."
"thank goodness, right?"
"sure. would help with this thing, though."
"is it really that bad?"
"i- yeah it's just grinding on my furniture, getting liquids on everything. making inappropriate comments. which, you know, would be fine if it was a chick."
"i- yeah, sure, i guess."
"but it's not. which is my big dilemma, brendan."
-
"...are you sure that's not a girl...coach...?"
"...don't let his err...pillow...boob...fluff...fool you, brendan...he's a dude. 100% a man."
"he uh...he kinda makes noises like a chick, but uh...it's not worth it, brendan. he uh, he kept trying to do things..."
"do things...?"
"to my butt, brendan...he has six arms...six arms brendan...do...do you know how much you can do with six arms?"
"n...no? that sounds like a lot, though."
"....it is, brendan...he's like an octopus brendan....a horny, japanese octopus...cuz y'know...the fishermen's wife....and, all."
"the fisherman's wife...?"
"the painting...like hentai... tentacle hentai, brendan...animated pornography."
"oh. ...okay. ew."