Dumb Jail

>be me, bonky
>i'm with my pickle horse-man pal, pickle horse-man
>we're thrown in DUMB jail
>and i said hey wait a second
>i'm way smarter than the average horse
>and pickle horse-man stomped on my hoof
>and i say now hold on wait a second i ain't no dummy
>pickle horse-man threw himself at me and bit my neck
>he says shut up, shut up, shut up
>i say what's come over you, you know i'm way smarter than any horse alive
>he says yeah but you're dumb for a human
>i say well if you transpose my advantage over a horse over the bell curve for human intelligence i'm pretty friccin smart
>he just keeps saying shut up and shushing me
>but this ain't the end of this
>so they give us our balls and chains
>and our black and white striped numbered prison outfits
>and i'm thinking,
>i can't wear this
>if a zebra sees me in this
>they're going to think i'm appropriating
>but maybe or i hope they'll just think i'm dumb
>so i put it on
>they give us mining picks
>and we spend all day every day breaking rocks
>they do send a book cart around at night
>i'm cellmates with a guy who tells me he's a doctor
>he says he specialized in dentistry
>so i'm like wait is a dentist a doctor? can a dentist call themselves a doctor? i don't know. sounds suspicious
>anyways, he says he's in here because he fucked a corpse
>i say that isn't really dumb it's just kind of deranged
>he says he did it so he could tell people he lost his v-card
>i say yeah that's kind of dumb
>he says he told the girl he was interested in and she turned him in
>i say he could have told her he lost his v-card but left out the part where he fucked a corpse
>he just gives me a suspicious look and says  "yeah..."
>the next day in the cafeteria
>we're eating crocodile nuggets and durian
>i see my cellmate whispering to people and pointing at me
>oh fuck
>that's not good
>his whole table gets up
>they all crowd around me
>they say hey man
>we heard you wasn't dumb
>i say i'm a horse
>they ask if i know what they do to people who aren't dumb around here
>i say i'm a horse
>a zebra pushes through the crowd and says that i'm too smart to be appropriating their stripes
>they start shivving me brutally
>oh fuck my blood is spraying out of my soft tissue
>they start cutting into my skull
>they pull my eyeballs out through my mouth
>they hang me up by my intestines
>i'm still alive
>tfw too smart for dumb jail