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  1. Kha'Zix nervously took his place across from Zyra in the ice cream parlor, trying to maintain his collected image without betraying his inner struggles. Now that he had ordered their ice cream, he had no clue what to actually do on this 'date' and he knew that wouldn't impress Zyra a bit. His natural instinct was to simply observe until he adapted to the situation, but after seeing numerous female champions angrily snap at a creepy male who stared too long, silently watching them, he figured that would displease Zyra.
  2.  
  3. Or maybe it only angered them if the man had a hand down his pants as well.. in a public setting.
  4.  
  5. Seeing as he didn't even wear pants, sitting and observing might be construed as even more of an offense than if he did have clothing like the Runeterrans did. Glancing around the parlor briefly, to try and scope out what other pairings were doing, he noted they were all engaged in conversation, paying close attention to their partner and laughing obnoxiously often, in his opinion.
  6.  
  7. He shifted in his seat, growing ever-more displeased he couldn't think of something to say instead of being silent and awkward. This was not how he would woo a fierce plant like Zyra, or how to impress any female of her superior adaptive capabilities. If he wanted the best, he had to step up his game.
  8.  
  9. Tentatively, he formulated a question. He had specifically invited her for the honeydew ice cream, which she was presently eating, so he should inquire if it was to her liking, "Do you like the ice cream?"
  10.  
  11. Zyra looked up from the bowl, her eyes glowing with amusement, "Yes, though it's not quite what I expected. I've never tasted honeydew before."
  12.  
  13. "What? Ahri said you like honey," Kha'Zix was flabbergasted; had Kog'Maw lied to him, or perhaps the seductive fox had pulled the wool over his naive Void compatriot's eyes?
  14.  
  15. "Honey isn't the same thing as honeydew, dear," the plant laughed, eyes twinkling with mirth as her lips crept up into a smirk. Kha'Zix was rendered silent, shocked and unable to think of a response. Why hadn't he realized this in his research, or at least bothered to ask around or look further into it? He felt stupid now - a potential mate who screwed up little details, being ignorant of such things as this, would never impress Zyra in the slightest.
  16.  
  17. He needed a witty reply - the other couples around them were all laughing at one another, smiling, thus humor could diffuse his negligence enough that he would remain in her good graces. Pondering for a moment and feeling stupid he was missing this beat, taking too much time to think of a response, he finally crafted a reply explanatory enough with some humor, "Lost in translation, I'm afraid. The Void's flowers don't produce honey. Rather, they eat the insects who go near them."
  18.  
  19. "Sounds like my kind. Before we devoured everything in sight, of course. Yes, being a rooted plant who has expended one's food sources proved to be a rather fatal problem," she chuckled, face growing serious as she reflected on her life before overtaking the Runeterran body she inhabited. Once she had been one plant in many - part of a gigantic colony of flesh-eating flora, an unstoppable conglamoration of vines, thorns, roots and sickly sweet scents to lure in unsuspecting animals. Now, she was free to wander the land, but what was the land without her own kind? She found a plentiful bounty of food far from the jungle she grew up in, but the discovery was far too late to save her species.
  20.  
  21. "How does the Void handle all the carnivorous species? It seems like you injest quite a lot, if your fellow Voidlings are anything to measure by," she asked after a moment's contemplation, figuring the Void entities may have encountered a similar problem to her own kind: running out of resources.
  22.  
  23. "There are far fewer of us than you would assume who possess sentience and great appetites. Most are like Malzahar's Voidling - somewhat stupid, unevolved creatures who scatter at the footsteps of anything larger than them. They eat much less than we do. Our fauna reproduce much faster than Runeterran rabbits, even. If they didn't, we would eat them to extinction. Evolution is critical in the Void."
  24.  
  25. Zyra pondered his response, "I wish my kind had been as adaptable as yours. By the time a stray human ventured within my grasp I was reduced to a starving plant, shrunk into the ground amidst the corpses of my brothers. But enough about those who could not suit the new world that they encountered."
  26.  
  27. With the conclusion of that conversation, one which had particular interest to Kha'Zix, both giving him a means to learn more about his companion and being relevant to his quest to ever adapt and improve himself, the pair fell silent once again as he searched for a new topic to discuss. He noticed they had both finished the ice cream before them, leaving only two empty bowls, and that the couples around them were all different now, having left and been replaced.
  28.  
  29. Zyra's eyelids drooped, batting softly several times before remaining hooded as she coyly looked upon the bug before her. Kha'Zix cocked his head, trying to understand her expression. He thought back to other times when a female had stared at a male this way, fluttering her lashes and raising her eyebrows while she fiddled with something, twirling it around in anticipation. He'd seen Vayne look at Kog that way when a match ended and they left together, and Miss Fortune often held that expression. Janna seemed to have her eyelids permanently half-shut at times, and Cassiopeia was renowned for the face - what had she called it, bedroom eyes? That must be it. Putting the pieces together, the bug deduced it meant a female expected something of the male she turned this expression on, though just what they wanted, he wasn't sure.
  30.  
  31. Perhaps she was looking for a repeat performance? He fidgeted with the spoon, trying to figure out if that's what her interest was, though she seemed to sense his confusion and spoke herself, "You know, I haven't had barbeque since my celebratory dinner when I joined the League. It's delightful, though - so many tender meats to choose from."
  32.  
  33. The off-handed way she said it made him wonder if she was speaking to someone nearby, but after a cursory scan of the room indicated nobody was paying them any attention, he determined she was indeed speaking to him. Was this a request for a second date? Considering she had an expression he knew to mean a female desired something, this was a reasonable assumption to make.
  34.  
  35. "I see, this sounds most appealing. I shall endeavor to find a suitable location to dine at. Shall we meet again after our next game together?" he nearly winced at how stiff that sounded - there was no suave fluidity in his speech like some other male champions he'd encountered had.
  36.  
  37. "That sounds delightful," she smirked, and with that she was gone, telling him she had another match to get to now and thanking him for the ice cream, even if it wasn't quite the right flavor.
  38.  
  39. Kha'Zix sighed - she requested a second outing despite his lack of confidence and knowledge on what to do and had proved to be a remarkable dining companion with an intriguing history of evolution in her species.
  40.  
  41. Now he just had to figure out how to not botch another date.
  42.  
  43. --------
  44.  
  45. "I say, my good man, what's got you down in the dumps?" Cho'Gath queried, reaching a claw out to tilt Kha'Zix's head up as the gentleman addressed his bug friend.
  46.  
  47. "She may have agreed to another date, but that went terrible. I had no confidence or assertion, she had to give me hints for everything," he grumbled, angry he had been so out of his element. The dating scene required numerous more adaptations before perfection could be achieved.
  48.  
  49. "Perhaps you should consider inviting another couple along, to witness their interactions so you know what to do?" Cho suggested, wracking his brain for ways to help the bug without discouraging him even more.
  50.  
  51. "That's an excellent idea, surely some partnership in the league will be able to clue me in on how to win over Zyra. Who do you recommend I inquire to?"
  52.  
  53. "Well, there's our own chap Kog'Maw, he's got a fine woman."
  54.  
  55. "Somehow I doubt either of them knows much about human courtship rituals. I've heard the Noxians call Vayne a frigid ice queen numerous times, and some females say she's oblivious."
  56.  
  57. "Now now, there's no need to get personal. I suppose they do lack the finer knowledge points on dating you might find elsewhere. How about Ezreal and Taric, they're a well-known couple who have been through years together?"
  58.  
  59. "I get the feeling they know next to nothing about wooing a WOMAN."
  60.  
  61. "Well if you insist on getting technical, that's quite possible. There's Garen and Katarina, but I doubt they would ever agree to be seen in public together in a romantic circumstance."
  62.  
  63. "That's so helpful."
  64.  
  65. "Testy, aren't we, old sport? You could always ask Sona and Lee Sin, they're quite happy together."
  66.  
  67. "Because Sona can tell me what to do to charm a woman."
  68.  
  69. "I think you're just looking for something to complain about now, my good bug. We've run through numerous relationships and you take offense at every one. I'm getting stumped here, oh, you could dine with some of the Yordles!"
  70.  
  71. "I'd rather dine on them than listen to their insipid ramblings."
  72.  
  73. "That's never going to go over well, where are your manners?! Oh, I have one last recourse - my final offer for your double date partnership - Jarvan the Fourth and his ladyknight Shyvana have something of a relationship struck up."
  74.  
  75. "This has potential - Shyvana is not a full human, they may have more similarities with my situation than one would expect. I'll look into this. Your inane list of unhelpful champions has indeed paid off in the end!"
  76.  
  77. Cho'Gath just folded two of his arms and went back to sipping his tea, disdainfully glaring at the lippy bug through his monocle.
  78.  
  79. --------
  80.  
  81. Kha'Zix found himself greeted at the gates of the Demacian Castle by one half of the party he was hoping to speak with. Shyvana had been sent to escort him to the Prince, rightfully distrusting a new, more malevolent member of the Void. If he did turn violent, she could fend for herself better than the common soldiers.
  82.  
  83. The bug trotted behind her, content to show no ill will to the Demecians by striding out too far. She led him to the throneroom where Jarvan IV sat, reading a scroll until realizing he had company.
  84.  
  85. "Ah, Shyvana, what brings our fair Voidly guest here?" the Prince asked, standing up to greet his visitors.
  86.  
  87. "I hope to gain your presence on a date," Kha'Zix informed the dragon, turning to her, though neither Demacian realized he was talking to both of them.
  88.  
  89. The Prince spluttered on his words, coughing loudly before regaining enough vocal control to spit out, "I beg your pardon? You want to date Shyvana?"
  90.  
  91. "Oh, no, I wish to double date her," Kha'Zix rushed to clarify, sensing Jarvan wasn't taking this well.
  92.  
  93. "You what?" the Prince huffed again, eyes narrowing.
  94.  
  95. "Do you mean go on a double date with Jarvan and me?" Shyvana cut in, hoping this was simply a case of poor Void English causing a bit of confusion and not the Voidling showing a genuine interest in her.
  96.  
  97. "Yes, precisely! Perhaps my initial phrasing declined to communicate my point properly. Yours is a funny language," he scowled, glad someone had understood his meaning.
  98.  
  99. Jarvan settled down, content his woman wasn't under threat from another man, and took an interest in Kha'Zix's request, "Who's the lucky lady?"
  100.  
  101. "Oh I know this one, it's Zyra!" Shyvana burst out, glad for an opportunity to look informed in front of her Prince.
  102.  
  103. "Did Ahri tell you?" Jarvan laughed, to which the dragon nodded swiftly.
  104.  
  105. "Can she ever keep her mouth closed?" Kha'Zix huffed, somewhat irritated his budding relationship was being gossiped about throughout the League by the loose-lipped fox, but it wasn't really unexpected.
  106.  
  107. "No, she can't. I don't think she means any harm by it, she never spreads harmful rumors," Shyvana shrugged, coming to the defense of her fellow half-human woman.
  108.  
  109. "Regardless of Ahri's gossip, we would be happy to dine with you," Jarvan declared, glancing briefly at his dragon to gain her agreement in a swift nod.
  110.  
  111. "Excellent. We feast upon barbeque," Kha'Zix chortled, flapping his wings as he hopped off to prepare for the date.
  112.  
  113. --------
  114.  
  115. After Kog'Maw had expressed some dismay they never did anything in public together, coupled with his other complaints brought up that fateful night, Vayne had agreed to go out on regular dates with him instead of staying in at her mansion all the time. She figured they would get some strange glances from Runeterrans who weren't aware of their relationship or didn't even know what Void monsters were, but she hadn't expected the sight across the restaurant from them.
  116.  
  117. "Is that.. Kha'Zix and Zyra? With Jarvan and Shyvana?" she asked her Kog the second she noticed them. He stood on the table to try and see over the other booths before making visual contact.
  118.  
  119. "Yea. Kha'Zix wants to get with her, like us, but I don't know why Jarvan and Shyv are there," he was a fair bit puzzled by the partnering of these four individuals, not seeing where the connection was, until Vayne realized it.
  120.  
  121. "Oh, they must be on a double date. I wouldn't have thought those two couples would ever go on one together, but I suppose they all like meat, so it works out," she frowned, confused by the date as well, but it wasn't really of consequence to her.
  122.  
  123. "They not as cute as us, because I'm adorable," chortled Kog'Maw, waiting for his girlfriend to twirl his spaghetti for him so he could eat it without the hassle of trying to wrap noodles around a fork with just two claws for hands.
  124.  
  125. She laughed, a rare occurance for her but becoming more common since she first asked Kog'Maw if he wanted to see a new world of eating.
  126.  
  127. "I suppose they make sense, a plant and a bug. But I'd much rather have you, and nobody else."
  128.  
  129. Kog smiled up at her, thankful once again that she had seen past his exterior and monsterous appearence and been willing to give him a chance.
  130.  
  131. --------
  132.  
  133. Jarvan and Shyvana had departed for Demacia once the night ended, leaving Kha'Zix and Zyra alone to return to the League lodging. Zyra led the way, gracefully eccentuating the sway in her hips as she walked, hoping to charm the Void monster. If the stories about Vayne and Kog were true, it didn't take much work to get a Voidling to roll over at a pretty woman's feet.
  134.  
  135. "Do you need anything further?" Kha'Zix tentatively questioned as they reached the entrance to their dorms.
  136.  
  137. "Well, I could use a Blasting Wand..." Zyra hinted, hoping he would take the bait.
  138.  
  139. Kha'Zix was quick to reply, "For a Deathcap?"
  140.  
  141. "Mmmm, I was thinking for a Void Staff."
  142.  
  143. The bug thought briefly about this, trying hard to process if she was saying what he thought she was.
  144.  
  145. "It just so happens I have one with me, ready for use wherever you may need it to go."
  146.  
  147. "I know an open item slot or two it could fill quite nicely."
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