(/mlp/ greentext) Whatever I Want: Gaiden

>Be Twilight Sparkle
>After what feels like years you've finally returned home to Equestria
>Not that the human world was all bad, it certainly proved... Enlightening.
>Celestia smiles and greets you along with your friends
>Hard to look at Rainbow Dash and Rarity the same way knowing the two would get into a threesome under the right circums-
>Ew ew ew ew, stop it, Twilight!
>Celestia: "Twilight? Are you alright? Did your recent errand to the human world go well?"
>Celestia leans in
>Celestia: "Please... Tell me Sunset's doing alright."
>You just smile back
"Yeah, I'm fine. She needed my help dealing with The Sirens. Apparently they ended up there."
>Applejack: "Sounds like we oughta put locks on these there mirrors 'r start chargin' travel fare."
>Celestia: "I... I admit, I will be going back through Starswirl's old notes to see if he inadvertently had unleashed any other monsters on that poor world."
>Dash (don't think about her having sex with Anonymous- too late! ARGH!): "Yeah, that sounds pretty lazy, even by my standards.
>Rarity: "You have standards, darling?"
>You think to yourself "apparently the same, actuall- stop it, Twilight!"
>Fluttershy: "Um, so what happened with the Sirens? Is... Did you stop them from whatever they were doing?"
>You smile and recall the battle of the bands, the magic duel, Sunset unlocking her magic, Vlad, Redheart, and Anon arriving to offer their support and you pump one foreleg
"We came, we saw, we kicked their asses!"
>Silence
>INITIATING DAMAGE CONTROL!
"I... Uhh... Yeah, we won."
>You feel Luna looming behind you
>Moonbutt: "Sounds like someone needs to be put under cultural quarantine and decontamination."

>Be Twilight
>You've been finally released from quarantine and are back with your friends in Ponyville
>But your friends and a run in with the pony Flash Sentry has gotten you thinking lately: who else has an equivalent between the worlds
>Trying to find Anonymous pone, as funny as the mental image would be, is a bit impractical
>Instead you find yourself with a golden opportunity as you're having a spa day with the girls and recall Human!Rarity explaining the big Stalliongrad-esque human who had been with Anon...
>Applejack: "So Big Macintosh's all huffy 'cause his Lil' doll got lil'er when I tossed it in that wash wit' the rest o' the linens. He's been goin' 'round doin' everything' on that farm leavin' me bored stiff!"
>Thank you, Applejack!
"You know, something girls, I realize we don't talk about our families too much, besides Applejack, and its kind of a shame."
>Fluttershy: "Oh, well Rainbow and my dad are both coworkers and tend to do a lot of business travels."
>Dash: "Yeah, not too much to talk about. I mean I love the old lug but not exactly a lot of memories stand out as terribly unique in my memory."
>You turn to Rarity
"Well how about you, Rarity?"
>Rarity: "Well you all know Sweetie Belle and I'd rather not discuss my own parents."
>jackpot
>[INQUISITION INTENSIFIES]
"Well... What about other relations?"
>Rarity perks up from her magazine
"Like... Maybe a really cool uncle?"
>Dead silence
>Rarity's eyes go wide and she somehow become a even whiter
>Uh oh, you done derped...
>Rarity starts to tear up, she's shaking and sniffling
>DAMAGE CONTROL!!!
"Rarity, I'm so sorry. You don't have to answer it anything, I'm sorry-"
>Every one is moving in to comfort her, but to your surprise, she stop you and smiles, still crying
>Rarity speaks
>But for the first time in a slight Stalliongrad accent
>Rarity: "No... It's alright, Twilight, I just haven't thought it my uncle since we lost him."

>Be Anon
>Hanging out at home, doing fuck all because fucking broken leg
>This is worse than suspension, at least you could go around town while suspended
>You idly flip through channels, trying to ease your boredom
>Nothing
>You try breaking out those panties Dash gave you
>Penis to brain: Meh
>Brain to penis: what the fuck?
>Fuck it, you put them aside and...
>Oh, jesus, titty fucking, christ you're actually studying to try to ease your boredom
>Not homework, actual studying
>*KNOCK KNOCK*
>You immediately begin wheeling to the door, knocks becoming louder, faster, and frantic
"I'm coming! Keep your panties on!"
>Really though, right now you wouldn't even mind Flash, dogfucking Sentry dropping by-
>Dash: "First of all, you will be, second of all, I'm not wearing any."
>She's in your doorway
>Wearing a sexy maid outfit
>Trying to look sexy but still clearly embarrassed
>Fucking adorable
>Also...
>Penis to Brain: Hell yeah, motherfucker.
>Brain to Penis: Hell yeah, motherfuck-
>Dash: "Mind letting me in already, Nonny? It's cold out here and I don't wanna be seen outside in this!"
"Shit, sorry"
>You wheel back and let her in, she quickly closes the door, seeming more relaxed but still awkward in the lazy mini-skirt with the white, frilly, apron
>Dash: "So... I saw this at Candance's place and thought of you..."
"Oh, Dashie, you know me too well."
>You smile and she blushes, but shashays up to you, sitting in your lap
>Dash: "So-... So I was thinking with your leg busted, I could, you know, help you around the house."
>You can't resist, you kiss her neck and she shivers
>Dash: "Or... You know. What ever else you want."
>Your hands roam and so do hers
"What ever I want?"
>She shifts in your lap, she's dripping right onto your lap
>Dash: "What. Ever. You. Want."
>She punctuates each word with a kiss that gets lower and lower down...

>Rarity
>Pone Rarity (knowing that Twilight knows another you feels a bit off-putting, maybe because you know there can be only one)
>Memo to self: track down my other self, kill her and steal her fabulousness
>Those things aside, you have just tearfully explained the fate of your beloved Uncle who sacrificed himself so you and your family could leave Stalliongrad
>Twi: "Wait a minute... Something's off about this. I'm not so sure he's dead."
>Really, darling?
>And I thought I spent years in denial.
"Twilight, the stallion faced off an army, do you think they just patted him on the head and let him go once we were safe?"
>Twi: "Look, just come with me! I think I know where to find him, just come with me!"
>That spell she used to give me wings back in Cloudsdale?
>She can apparently do it now without a problem
>Must be nice being a princess
>A flight later and you find yourselves at a horribly tacky and cliche castle
"Twilight, are you insinuating my uncle would live in a place like this? Without even adding barbed wire?"
>Twi: "Please, trust me."
>We approach the door and knock
>What knockers...
>"Da?"
>That voice
>"Who disturb Vlad The Impaler?"
"UNCLE VLAD! IT'S ME! RARITY"
>Vlad: "What is Rarity?"
>The door opens, and it's your uncle, looking a little more... Batty and aristocratic than usual with a glass of red wine in one hoof
>Dang, you're tearing up
>Vlad: "... The same pile of cute I remember."
>He says and throws down his wineglass to hug you.

>Be Twilight
>So you've spent the past few hours watching Rarity go from refined young woman into a happy little Stalliongrad girl singing in foreign with her uncle
>All while walking through ancient castle halls filled with rusty and blood-covered weapons, torture devices, and tapestries depicting crimes you thought never occurred in Equestria
>What would Anonymous say right now? "Ow, the edge?"
>Sounds right-
"OW!"
>Vlad: "What is matter, vinograd?"
"Something just pricked me!"
>The three of you examine, and apparently you actually cut yourself passing too close to an unnecessarily evil-looking shaving razor
>Ow, the edge, indeed
>Rarity: "Dyadya, is something wrong?"
>You realize Vlad is eying that cut with particular interest, tongue reminding you of Spike's sliding along pronounced fangs.
>Oh, right, Vampony Lord.
>Vlad shakes his head and turns back to his niece
>Vlad: "Chto? Izvinite, kalinka."
>Memo to self: learn Stalliongradan.
Vlad: "Come, let us get friend patched up and I tell you how I kill vampire master and take his stupid crown off his stupid head. Which I also took off."
>You can see stars in Rarity's eyes.
>Rarity: "Did you make a song about it? Can we sing it together?"
>If she were a dog here tail would be-
>Oh, her tail is wagging
>Vlad laughs and ruffles her mane
>And she lets him
>Vlad: "Of course, need good rhythm to cut through neck with rusty, blunt axe!"
>For all the horribleness of what he just said, the family bond between the two is the sweetest thing you've seen
>Briefly, Rarity and Vlad vanish and in their place you can see yourself and Shining Armor
>He turns back to you
>Vlad: "Are you coming, vinograd Ioshad?"
>You can practically your blood reflected in his eyes
>nope.stndgls
"Actually, I really don't want to intrude on thise reunion. Besides, I think Rarity parents and Sweetie Belle should know you're alive. In a manner."
>Rarity brightens
>Rarity: "Twilight, darling, that's a wonderful idea! Sweetie's never even met Uncle Vlad!"
>She pulls you into a big, bone crushing hug
>Stalliongrad style
"Yeah... Well... I should hurry back! Tell the good news to family!"
>Rarity lets you go
>And now Vlad hugs you
>[BONE CRUNCHING INTENSIFIES!]
>Vlad: "Spasibo, vinograd. Am no longer pony, but reuniting me with family has made me feel like a stallion again."
>His words are touching
>But what's touching more is your broken ribs to your compressed lungs
>Everything is going dark...
>You try to be polite and say 'you're welcome' but all that comes out is a croak
>Rarity: "Dyadya? What is this marvelous piece of art here?"
>Vlad drops you
>Life returns to your lungs
>You could throw Rarity down and have lesbian sex with her for that
>You know, assuming your uncle doesn't kill you
>Vlad: "That? That is model airship I make in spare time!"
"I'll be going! Gonna send the family this way!"
>You bid to not be rude, but still focus your magic to teleport you back before they can say anything else
>Back in Ponyville, you decide on your next courses of action:
>Go to Canterlot and try to find Anonymous' other self
>Send Rarity's family off to the castle
>Also see Nurse Redheart about your collapsed ribcage.
>probably in reverse order.

>Be Anon
>Be another day of hanging out at home
>But now you've got friends over
>Dash currently changing out of her meido outfit in your room while AJ and Fluttershy shoot with you to the breeze
>Damn it's been awhile, it really reminds you that these two really are your friends
>You decide to voice this, and be a man an owe up to your mistake
"I really do appreciate you two coming on down."
AJ: "Well shoot, partner, an' here Ah was worried we were interruptin' somethin'."
>Fluttershy goes beet red and nods
"Oh, uh... Nah. But what I wanna say is that once I get better, I really do want to make more time to hang out with you two, I'm sorry I've been kind of neglecting you both as friends."
>Flutters: "Oh, it's okay, anon, we've been busy ourselves."
>AJ: "Yep, so it ain' really your fault."
"Huh, what have you guys been up to? Usual?"
>Flutters: "Actually, something quite different... Applejack, should we tell him?"
>Are they...?
>Their hands join
>IDSHABBENIN'!
>AJ: "Yas see, anon... Flutters an' Ah are... Well we're..."
>[HAPPENING MAXIMIZES!]
>Flutters: "Applejack and I... We've joined an amateur wrestling federation."
>...
"Huh?"
>AJ: "Yep, see Big Mac introduced us, 'e was tha reignin' champ but had to retire 'cause o' college an' farmwork. So 'e asked me ta take up 'is mantle."
>Flutters: "And I'm a regular patron of the league, when I saw Applejack in the ring and heard her story, I knew I couldn't let her do it alone."
>AJ: "So Ah'm Mistress Marvelous!"
>Flutters: "And I'm the Bearserker!"
>The two of them struck a series of poses together until they were back to back
>AJ and Flutters: "We are the Power Girls!"
>You didn't know if this was awesome or hilarious

>Be anon again
>Watching a few recorded fights of Fluttershy and Applejack with Dash
"Wow, you guys have pretty good teamwork."
>AJ: "Thank ya kindly."
>Fluttershy: "We wish we had known about your fight with Flash. We would have backed you up."
>Dashie: "Hah, Nonny, Rarity, Vlad, and I had it covered in the end. You guys would have just been overkill."
>AJ: "Still weren' right ta be leavin' ya high an' dry like that. Worst o' all is the trouble ya got into."
"It's fine. No harm, no foul. You know, I will admit though, when you guys first were telling me about this, I thought you guys were going to confess you were lesbians."
>Tasteless, anon, but at least you're honest...
>Dashie: "What are you talking about, Nonny? They are lesbian lovers."
>u wut m8?
>AJ: "Hehehe, yep, Flutters an' Ah been goin' out since we were twelve."
>They hold hands
>Fluttershy blushes and nods
>You thought it was happening
>They kiss
>But it had begun before you even came into the picture
"Well... That's... Something."
>Dashie: "You gettin' turned on by watching lesbians, Nonny?"
"Me? No! No!"
>No one's buying it
>DAMAGE CONTROL!
"Uh, hey, whose that guy coaching you two?"
>Flutters: "Oh, that's Los Tiburon: Shark of the Land. He's sort of a patron of the league to encourage young wrestlers."
>Lesbians, American wrestling, Lucha, and your girlfriend wearing your sweater to desperately hide the meido outfit she couldn't take off
>MyPenisCanOnlyGetSoErect.jpeg
>Ah, Fluttershy and Applejack are back at the kissing game
>Kind of surprised a timid girl like Fluttershy and a conservative girl like AJ could get so into it in another person's home
>Not that you're complaining
>Suddenly! Dash out of nowhere!
>Dashie: "C'mon, Anon, let's let them have their privacy."
>She begins wheeling you into your room and leans next to your ear
>Dashie: "So we can have some of our own privacy."
>Boner: I CAIN' TAKE MUCH MORE, CAP'N! AH'M ABOOT TO BLOW!"

>Be Flash Sentry
>Watching the local amateur "wrestling"
>More like fake, MMcdojo bullshit
>Even Anon at least used a groin shot
>"Next up: the two Rising Stars of the league! Presenting Mistress Marvelous and Bearserker: The Power Girls!!!"
>See who these "Power Girls" are
>Holy shit! Why can't I hold all these keks?
>You know these cum dumpsters from school
>Standing up as the bitches took their bows, you push past the plebs and stepped onto the ring with them
>Sluttershy notices you first so you pull back her top and pour you icy soda down it with a smirk
"Wrestling is fake, you dumb shi-!"

>Be objective narrator
>Flash Sentry: cause of death: chronically stupid.
>Remember kids, wrestling might be fake, but real enough to kick your ass.

>Once again, we join our heroin, Twilight Sparkle, on her noble quest to locate yet another inter-dimensional equivalent of someone she met on earth and heap unfair expectations on him!
>Okay, yeah, you have no idea why you're so obsessed over this
"Spike, mind handing my the Canterlot directory census?"
>Pony Flash was pretty weirded out by you last time since Pony Flash is a legit adult and career military to Human flash being just a teenage highschooler
"Thank you, Spike, mind putting on some coffee, please?"
>Vlad's gone from that PTSD stricken foreign soldier who was with Anon and to a blood drinking nobleman
"Mmm... Good coffee, sorry about keeping you up, Spike."
>Maybe that's why you've become so obsessed?
>The similarities and difference between the two worlds, Celestia and Luna are still wise, but no longer powerful, Luna is much more heavy hoofed, crueler, almost tyrannical as a human, and Celestia is far less patient
>You can see the constants and variables
>Are they really the same people through the lens of different circumstances?
>Or at they legitimately different people with only superficial similarities?
>These questions prod your existential side as you note down the addresses of all ponies in Canterlot who go by the name 'Anonymous' or some variation or extrapolation there of
>Tomorrow your search for this curious x factor of friendship begins anew
>And perhaps you may yet pay a more social visit to the human world.

>*knock! knock! knock!*
>"Ugh... Go away! I dun want any!"
"Detective Private Eye? Detective Private Eye, I need your help!"
>Private Eye: "Can' you read the damn sign! It says 'closed'!"
>Something shatters against the reinforced window and leaves a watery amber trailing down from the epicenter of impact
>*knock! knock! knock!*
"Please, Mister Eye, you're my best hope, they say you're good at doing the impossible and seeing the invisible!"
>Silence
>*Knock! Knock! Knock!*
>What would Anon do?
>If he were a magical pony princess that is?
>Mental anon: "Hah hah hah! Time to cum inside Rainbow Dash and kick start the royal line strong!"
>Okay, that didn't help
>What about Rainbow Dash?
>Mental Dash: "Pfft! Well forget you! I don't need your help, Mr. Bigshot!"
>That's not gonna help here.
>What about Pinkie?
>Mental Pinkie: "Oh, am I in a hypothetical scenario?"
>Celestia dammit, Pinkie
>That's it, time for the Applejack method
>You spin around, chamber your hind legs and kick with all your might!
>"SON OF A-!"
>WHAM!
>And buck the face of your hired help just as he opens the door at last
>You are Twilight Sparkle
>And also an idiot

>A quick teleport to Canterlot Hospital and an hour or two later and Private Eye is giving you the dirtiest look while surrounded by all your crappy gifts, apology cards, balloons, and vending machine snacks, smiling sheepishly as if he'll magically forgive you
>He's a very plain and brown earth pony, and probably one of the few ponies you've seen with facial hair, in this case a thick, coarse stubble that extends all around his lower face and along his neck
>Private Eye: "Alright! I'll hear you out. Celestia knows you've gone this far."
>Success!
>"Uh, yes, well. Umm.. I'm Princess Twilight Spark-"
>Eye: "I know who you are, I was at your coronation parade."
"Oh! Umm... Did you like my inauguration speech?"
>Eye: "I dunno, didn't listen. I was trying to get back home but everyone was in my way."
"Oh... sorry. I didn't realize-"
>Eye: "Just forget it, it's in the past okay? Along with a lot of other things."
>He tears open a vending machine snack and eats
>Eye: "So what can I do for the Princess of Friendship? Are you trying to recruit your own guard crew?"
>Hey... Not a bad idea...
"I'll remember that suggestion for later. Thank you."
>Eye: "Ah, horseapples..."
"But as I said, I need your help finding a missing person. A former member of the Royal Guard known as 'Anonymous Source'."
>He perks up.
>Eye: "Anonymous Source? What business do you have with him?"
"I-... Well th- I-"
>Come on, you can explain this without sounding crazy.
"I think I might have met another version of him in my last expedition to another dimension populated by hominid bipeds."
>After saying that outloud, maybe you should check into the psychward while you're here
>Private Eye just gives you a fairly stoic look and swallows his snack
>Eye: "Okay."
"I know it sounds insane, and honestly it is, but I've just been- Wait, what?"
>W8 wut?
>Eye: "I said I'll do it. It's not gonna be easy though, Anonymous Source hasn't been seen in Canterlot since the huge corruption scandal he exposed within the royal guard ranks and that happened YEARS before Princess Luna came back. He could be in Tartarus."
"Then if you find out he's there, leave it to me, I've already taken on two things from Tartarus."
>Wow, way to sound badass, Twilight, Anon might be impressed
>Okay, stop that, you sound creepy and obsessive, like worse than you were with Flash Sentry.
>But then again, you ARE creepy and obsessive...
>You then notice Eye chuckling and shaking his head
>Eye: "Well let's hope you don't have to go quite that far, Princess. But I you know I charge both for money spent on the case plus cost of the case itself."
"I'm aware, I read your old ads. I also know you ask for payment upfront."
>You levitate a bag of gems, donated by Spike and Rarity (bless them both) and watch his eyes go wide
>[smirking internally]
"Will this be enough?
>You just had to ask.
>He regains composure and picks up a new vending machine snack
>Eye: "It's a good start. Given the case."
>You cheeky bastard
>Eye: "I need to get checked out of here, fast, mind signing me out at the front desk, Princess, while I grab my stuff."
>Private Eye, are you trying to cheat me?
"How about I help you collect your things?"
>Eye: "Fine by me, I just wanna get out of here. Hospitals on my top five places I hate to be."
>The two of you check out and meet back at his office, signing a contract to make his investigation official
>He also asks for you to sign something that will allow him some access to private areas of Canterlot
>Here's hoping you didn't just give him the carte blanche to cause trouble
>Eye: "Don't worry, I'm not going to betray your trust, Princess. But it's gonna be awhile before you get your stallion, but he'll be brought before you soon enough."
"Thank you, Private Eye."
>Eye gives you a strangely warm smile, for an investigator of good renown, he seemed really sad and lonely
>And why was his office in this state?
>Eye: "Don't worry your pretty little head, just go on back with your friends and do your princess thing, I gotta lock up."
>He said while heading for the door.
"Where are you going?"
>Eye slides on a ratty coat and drops a hat on his head
>Eye: "To start my case, of course."

>Be Twilight Sparkle
>It's been a week since you contracted Private Eye to find Pony Anonymous
>Or who you believe is Pony Anonymous
>You've kept in touch with him with Spike's help and he's given you updates
>Not that you've sat on your haunches either
>You've done a bit of your own detective work before and since
>Unfortunately, it seems you're both getting closer and closer to a dead end
>Since Anonymous Source was a member of the Royal Guard, you've asked Shining Armor about him
>He says Anon's actions lit a fire under the Royal Guard
>Shiny: "The filth got burned but those of us with resolve proved our mettle. The Guard owed him a debt of gratitude"
>You asked Celestia
>Celestia: "His song is one of silence."
>Cryptic.
>The royal guard files described him as a unicorn who joined a blank flank and didn't earn his cutiemark until after exposing the corruption in the guard
>No profile picture available, and not a lot of ponies remember his face anymore
>Shining, Celestia, the papers
>They made him out to be some kind of hero
>So why was there almost no information on him anymore?
>Then it dons on you
"A song of silence."
>Rarity: "Pardon, darling?"
"Oh, sorry, just lost in thought."
>He must have made enemies with the guards he exposed, so Celestia's erased his records and is hiding him somewhere!
>Rainbow Dash: "Well, mind telling us what you think of what we did with the castle?"
>You look and see the remains of the old library made into, honestly, a kind of tacky chandelier with magic crystals holding memories of your time in the library with friends
"It's beautiful, I love it, girls."
>Vlad: "You like new gargoyle sconces? I bring them."
>Oh, there they are. lining the walls
>Staring at you with fires lit in their mouths
"I love them!"
>Vlad: "Good! I bring more! They go over bed!"
>Welp.
>Good thing you're not applejack.
>Just then, right next to you, Spike burps out a gout of flame with a letter
>Spike: "Okay, wow, I thought that was just my reaction to the clash in decor"
>Vlad disapproves -5
>Rarity disapproves -70
>Looks like Spike's chances of scoring just plummeted
>You take the letter
>An actual letter, folded, but no information on it
>Must be Private Eye.
>Before you can open it, the door knocks and you head to answer, setting the letter aside
>If he found Anonymous, it should be able to wait
>If he didn't, it could still wait
>You open the door and standing there is a well-built stallion, about Big Mac's size and wearing beaten up Royal Guard armor
>He takes off his helmet and bows
>"Hello, Princess Twilight, my name is August Legate. I'm with the Royal Guard. Heh, though you can probably see that."
"Yes, I can see that. How can I help you?"
>August: "Well, I heard you're looking for Anonymous and... Well... The guy saved my life back in the Guard. See, I was one of the guard ponies the corruption was hitting hardest. Long hours, post that kept my from my family, poor equipment, and my pay was getting docked when it wasn't outright embezzled."
"I see. So... Did you have some information you wanted to share?"
>August: "Actually, I wanted to know if I could get in on the search myself. I owe Anonymous a lot."
"Well, I've already hired a few private investigators to look into things, and I have my own information routes."
>August:"Please, Princess, it means a lot to me. Anon was a friend!"
"Well.... Okay, so here's what my sources have been finding: there's rumor of a stallion in Apploosa who matches Anon's description. But from what I can gather, he moves around a lot."
>August nodded as you handed him some bits
"This should be enough to get you money for the train"
>August: "Thank you, Princess."
"You're welcome, August!"
>You smile brightly and close the door, walking calmly away
>Then breaking back to the meeting room in a full sprint
>Applejack: "Whoa, nelly, Twi, what's gotten inta yer cider barrels?"
>You don't answer, instead you pass Spike whose currently in a headlock from Vlad and tear open Private Eye's letter
>You feel your skin under your coat pale as the words confirm your suspicions in the conversation
>'OTHERS ARE LOOKING FOR ANON! DON'T TALK TO OTHERS WHO ASK ABOUT HIM!'
>shitjustgotreal.stndgls

>Rarity: "So, that's how you knew I even had an uncle Vlad? Given the results, I can't complain."
>You are Twilight Sparkle
>Fluttershy: "I think it's sweet that Rainbow Dash- A Rainbow Dash found love."
>And you have just finished explaining everything you understood both about the human world and pony world's connections
>Dash: "Honestly? I'm ready to throw up myself. Because I don't care if she might have my hair color, being virginal is part of my awesomeness. I'm a sassy zebra mare who don' need no stallion!"
>Your recent experiences and discoveries there...
>Applejack: "Rainbow, that's racist even fer mah tastes. All that aside, you can count on us, to help you Twi."
>Spike: "You can count on my hands too, Twilight."
>Vlad: "Da! Vinograd has my vampire clan at disposal!"
>Pinkie: "And my axe!"
>Sometimes, you worry about Pinkie
>Actually, you always do
>Still, this level of comradery is heart warming, even if you should be used to it
"Thank you, girls. Now my friendships and relationships are not exactly a big secret and I'm worried they might come for you, so-"
>Pinkie: "OMIGAWSH! WE'RE HAVING A SLUMBER PARTY!"
>Yep. Worried about that girl.
>Dash: "Pinkie, Twilight's basically putting us under witness protection."
>Thank you, Dash
>Pinkie: "Well, DUUUUUH. But what sounds like we can have more fun? Witness protection lockdown? Or a SLUMBER PARTY?!"
>She has a point
>And judging by the look on everyone else's face, they agree
"Alright, Pinkie, a slumber party it is."
>Fluttershy: "Ummm... What if they... What if they come for our families too, Twilight?"
"Bring them all then! This castles big enough, we might as well."
>Rarity: "Parents... At a slumber party."
>Vlad: "Think like this, Kalinka, it will be like time when we all hole up in shack with other family after crossing Coltga River."
>Rarity: "You and I remember Coltga River very differently, Dyadya."
>Applejack shook her head
>Applejack: "This revelation on Rares' family's gonna take some time to git used to."
>Dash: "Tell me about it. I'm gonna go grab Scoots and my stuff."
>Your friends depart to collect their families, Spike volunteers to help set up the rooms
>Everythingwentbetterthanexpected.stndgls
>Suddenly, a blinding light flooded the room, forcing you to cover your eyes
>"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"
>Oh... horse apples, it's Princess Celestia
>She looks disgruntled

>You can't breathe
>Your head is swimming- no, drowning
>Your heart's beating
>The doors are locked
>Celestia is pacing the Map Room, eyes narrowed
>Princess Celestia: "When I said Anonymous' song 'was a song of silence' what do you think that meant?"
>Think of something!
>Something!
>Anything!
"I don't know..."
>Celestia sighs
>Celestia: "Twilight, what happened to Anonymous Source is a tragedy-"
"That's just it, I don't know what happened to him! No one does! And whoever would won't tell me!"
>Uhhhh...
>Not what you had in mind
>But while Celestia's stunned you might as well get this off your chest
>Whatever it is
"I've been your faithful student for as long as I can remember by now. You always told me to find answers for my questions, but for the past few years now, I've been only given vague and cryptic answers or questions to my questions! But I've said nothing because I've gone and sought answers myself, and then when all's said and done, you pat me on the mane and call me as good student! And now you tell me I should just ignore things without even being given having the facts and details?!"
>Celestia: "..."
>...
>Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, etc.: "..."
>Oh... The magical lock must have come undone
>Okay, mental note: look into a psychologist

>Celestia: "Twilight, all of you, please understand, this is different. It's not just Twilight's grade at stake, lives are on the line!"
"They weren't with Nightmare Moon, Discord, or The Crystal Empire?"
>Looking through your medical knowledge, you diagnose yourself with severe oral diarrhea
>Rainbow Dash suddenly pats you on the back, smiles, and gives you a 'feathers up' with her wing
>Vlad seems to have your back too
>Celestia blinks
>And blinks again
>Celestia: "I'm sorry, my eyes get dry when I'm stressed, give me a moment."
>Pinkie Pie produces eye drops from nowhere (Presumably among her countless stashes hidden in case of emergencies)
>Celestia: "Ah, thank you. ... Better. Alright, I'll concede your point, Twilight. I'll tell you Anonymous Source's story, if you tell me why it means so much to you?"
>For the second time that day you explain things
>For the second time that day, Celestia looks displeased
>Celestia: "Twilight, I understand worlds are intertwined, but you must respect ponies and their human counterparts as their own individuals."
>Scootaloo: "Wow... This Anon guy must be really cool to win over Rainbow Dash. A Rainbow Dash that is."
>Rainbow Dash: "Nope, it's like the Princess says, and my other self is just lame!"
>She's blushing
>Welp, might as well spill the one part you didn't mention:
"I felt a powerful magic within him-"
>Celestia: "But there's no natural magic in that world is there?"
>She seemed surprised
>So did everyone
>Hell, so were you when it first dawned on you
"There was some speculation it might have been his relationship with Rainbow Dash-"
>Rainbow Dash: "The OTHER, LAMER Rainbow Dash!"
>Still blushing there 'Dashie'
"As I was saying! That didn't feel right, it felt like the magic was coming from within him and it was distinct, unique from Rainbow Dash's as mine is from yours, Princess. I thought: somewhere beneath that curmudgeon, krusty, cynical exterior... I think... I think Anonymous understood and could possibly harness the magic of friendship as well as any of us, and he, Sunset, the girls in the human world, and maybe even the Dazzlings could bring magic to that world."
>Silence filled the room.
>Big Macintosh: "Wow..."
"Pretty much my words when I first realized it."
>Suddenly, there was laughter
>Princess Celestia's laughter
>Pinkie: "Ohhh! I know this one! It's really funny, it's about the joke with the silent punchline right?"
>Celestia: "Oh, no, Pinkie Pie, it's actually because-"
>Pinkie keeps laughing
>And laughing
>She doesn't stop
>She won't stop
>And now the Cake twins are laughing with her even as the Cake parents move quietly away from the giggling Pinkie
>Applejack: "Twi... Ah'm startin' to think ya'll jus' locked us in with the biggest danger in Ponyville."
>Pinkie stops
>Pinkie: "Yeah, okay, I'm sorry. Sorry about that, it's reeeeeeaaally funny."
>You and almost everyone else in the room still wear the same worried expression
>Celestia: "You'll have to tell it to Luna some time, she always could use a laugh. Now as I was saying, could it be my faithful student has found a faithful student of her own?"
>You think of Anon and recall him fondly
>Or you try
"I think that's pushing it."
>Celestia: “Regardless, while it is touching to see you expanding your views of friendship, I must ask you discontinue your search for Anonymous Source, and as per our agreement, I will tell you why.”
>Celestia gestures everyone to take a seat
>Celestia: “Some of you may have heard, some of you might have been too young, but nearly ten years ago there was a massive scandal in the Royal Guard. The Guard, even today, is terribly complacent so I try my best to keep them busy, especially since this idleness has once before led to outright corruption. An entire division, over one hundred of Equestria’s finest, fell into an extortion and blackmailing scheme. It began with the nobles, admittedly many of the corrupt, but soon the common and upstanding citizen were being told to pay exorbitant amounts of gold to sate the greed of this guard division.”
>Mr. Cake: “I remember… Cupcake and I got hit pretty hard by this racket.”
>Celestia hangs her head
>Celestia: “And I let it happen…”
>Cupcake: “Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself, your majesty. We were all too scared to speak up, we let ourselves get cowed by fear instead of coming together or contacting you.”
>Cupcake even puts a hoof on Celestia’s back in comfort
>Celestia smiles slightly
>Celestia: “The racketeering had grown so bad, various crime syndicates were even beginning to flourish because they were able or willing to pay the fines of the Corrupt Division. All the time I was none the wiser and couldn’t understand why my kingdom’s economy was bleeding out. But when things seemed darkest, a hero came and exposed the corruption to me, the rest of the Guard, and the world.”
>Vlad: “Is this Anonymous Source, da?”
>Celestia: “Yes. Anonymous Source gave us every bit of information he could and he and I worked together to strike at the heart of this scandal. Unfortunately, the web of lies was quite vast, and while the conspiracy had been shattered, its conspirators managed to slip away. We’ve done our best to track them down, but it seems impossible to find them all.”
“And that’s why you expunged as much as you could about Anonymous…”
>Rarity: “He was a key witness but was in danger of survivors of the conspiracy attacking him.”
>Celestia nodded solemnly
>Celestia: “‘His is a song of silence’, I sent him away and told him to flee further. But from there I have no idea where he went. He has a talent for vanishing into a crowd.”
>Your eyes light up in realization
“So did you expunge descriptions of him, or-...”
>Celestia: “That was admittedly easier. The truth is, an anonymous source can reveal great truths or obscure them further. His talent was revelations and obfuscations. But it is not perfect, and once you know who or what you’re looking for, he’s as unique as any pony.”
>Sighing, you hang your own head now
“I’m sorry, Princess… I got so wrapped up in being right, I didn’t think about the problems I could have caused.”
>Celestia: “It’s alright, my student. No one was hurt, and I’m sure Anonymous can take care of himself.”
>As if on cue…
>”PRINCESS TWILIGHT!”
>That voice sends a chill down your spine
>Not for it’s volume, not for its commanding tone, but the familiarity
“Legate…”
>You rush towards the balcony, everyone else follows your steps and before you is the worst case scenario
>August Legate and a dozen other ponies, armed with old spears and swords, their points pressed to the backs of tied up and sobbing townsfolk
>August: "Now... You're gonna tell me about Anonymous Source's whereabouts. Or your citizens meet Celestia's Mom."

>Be Twilight Sparkle
>Bearer of the Element of Harmony of Magic
>Princess of Friendship
>And the dumbest mare in the damn world
>Your feel your eyes sting and water with shame as you stare down at a fifth of Ponyville being held at blade point by your actions
>Everyone sees you
>Everyone sees your mistake and failure
>And all because you HAD to be right
>Celestia: “‘Legate’? Is that the name you care yourself to my student?”
>Princess Celestia steps forward, her eyes so hold and hard right now, despite the intense heat radiating from her as a blue corona surrounds her, you feel chills run down your spine
>’Legate’: “Not another step there, Princess! And we can all see when you’re trying to use magic. One wrong move and bright eyes here gets it!”
>He said roughly jerking the blond pegasus’ hair back and pressing her against the sword held to the back of her neck
>She begins to cry
>And you can practically see the gray hairs form on Celestia’s mane as she forces down her rage.
>You should have brought everyone in town, dammit! This is all your fault you stupid-
>Celestia: “Former Inquisitor Polygraph, you and a hundred twenty of your fellow guards were found guilty of extortion, blackmail, and treason. Why are you so surprised you were served justice? Why do you do this now when you know revenge is only going to make things worse for you?”
>Legate/Polgraph just chuckles
>Polygraph: “This isn’t about revenge, Princess. It’s justice! See Anonymous Source ratted us out, got to be a big hero for exposing us and everyone involved. Papers sang his praises and the current Royal Guard look to him as a symbol of integrity. But you know the truth? It’s all bloody lies!”
>You snap from your stupor and rush forward
“What are you talking about?”
>Celestia: “Twilight-”
>Polygraph turns his hostage over to another one of his treasonous guards and begins pacing
>Polygraph: “I came here to find, dear old Anon. I wasn’t lying when I said we were friends. We were outright partners in crime!”
>You fall to your seat as if physically struck by the shock
“You mean-”
>Polygraph: “Did not one of you from nine years ago wonder just how Anonymous knew about our little secret club? How he knew so much about our resources, our contacts, our co-conspirators? Because he was there from day one. My own right hoof. The one who kept Celestia off our backs.”
>Applejack: “An’ what makes ya’ll think we’ll jus’ believe that? Sounds lika load ‘o’ horseapples if Ah ever heard one!”
>Polygraph: “All my proof got swept under the rug because I was the alleged ringleader of the conspiracy. But there is one shred of evidence left: Anonymous Source himself! So tell us where he is, Princess Sparkle, and we’ll leave nice and quiet like!”
>Your mind races
>You need to think
>You need time!
>Polygraph: “RIGHT! Every thirty seconds you’re quiet, one of these ponies dies!”
>You watch in slow motion, Polygraph raises his sword in a magical grip, and swings in a downward arc for Pipsqueak,  the nearest hostage who breaks down into wails
“STOP!”
>The blade hits earth instead of pony
“Alright… I’ll tell you everything!”
>You coward…
>Vlad: “You can nyet be serious, vinograd! You crumple to wishes of terrorists?!”
>Celestia remains disapproving, but silent, you can tell she can’t think of a better solution.
“Anonymous can take care of himself, you heard from the Princess. With what information I have there’s not much for them to know anyway.”
>Polygraph smiles, cleaning the dirt from his blade
>Polygraph: “See? You are the smartest princess.”
>Dash: “KISS OFF, FLANKFACE!”
“Dash! It’s certain death of many versus possible death of one.”
>Yeah… Keep telling yourself that.
“There’s no contest in this choice, and as Princess of Ponyville, I have to protect my own little ponies, especially from my mistakes.”
>You walk closer to the balcony’s edge, the looks and reactions of everyone around you ranges from a disappointed disgust to a solemn understanding
>But whatever the emotion, it pierced you like a thousand needles
>Was this how Princess Celestia felt when she faced Nightmare Moon? Her own sister?
>Polygraph: “A clever girl you are, Princess… Now be honest, because Old Poly knows when you’re lying.”
>Now all eyes are on Polygraph.
>You breath deep, trying to hold back the tears and self loathing as you try to think this out
“I’ve been doing research on Anonymous Source for some time now, and my own sources have yielded very little as I’ve gone mostly through the official channels.”
>Good start… Maybe you can stall them.
“I wanted to know more about Anonymous Source because I’ve recently begun experimenting in dimensional travel-”
>Polygraph glares at you and lifts Pip up with his magic and begins to slowly twist the colt’s head
“Please! Stop!”
>That did not work out for you at all
>Think of something! Your friends said Anonymous might pull some kind of bullshit! But you don’t know what kind and Polygraph seems immune to it!
>Polygraph: “I thought you were a smart mare.”
“I hired a detective!”
>You blurt out to make him stop
>He does
“His name is Private Eye, he’s a detective in Canterlot! He’s been helping me investigate things!”
>Polygraph: “LOCATION! I WANT A LOCATION!”
“I don’t know!”
>There, you said it. In all the time you’ve been at this, you still are no closer to finding Anonymous Source than Polygraph and his friends are.
>Polygraph seems pissed now
>Polygraph: “What do you mean ‘you don’t know’?”
“I mean just that! If you know I’m lying then you can tell I’m being honest about this! My only information source is Private Eye and his communications to me! Just please, leave us alone!”
>Right on cue
>Spike belches out of a small gout of flame and a parchment letter with no seal
>Private Eye…
>Polygraph is smiling
>Polygraph: “Seems like your little pinkerton has good timing. Read it, Princess!”
>Taking in a breath, you take the letter from Spike’s hands and open it
>It reads ‘read this out loud, I need a few more seconds - P.E.’
>What?
>Your eyes dart up and you notice something
>Someone no one else seems to notice:
>There’s a lot less rogue guards now, only three left counting Polygraph
>You almost smile but keep your poker face
>Polygraph: “Princess! What does it say?”
>Right, the letter
“It says… Ummm… It says ‘Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle, I am sending you this because…’”
>Two guards left, counting Polygraph
“‘Because I want you to read it out aloud to Polygraph, I need more time to WRECK HIS SHIT!’”
>You break into a smile as everyone seems to look around and notice Polygraph was alone with Pipsqueak
>A massive cheer went up (Fluttershy even jumping up and down like back in Cloudsdale), and the unicorn realized he was shit out of luck
>Then, eyes fell on a new figure
>Dressed in a familiar, ratty coat and hat
>Polygraph: “... You…”
>What?
>Private Eye’s hat suddenly levitated from his head, the blowing wind revealing beneath a matted mane a horn clipped down to easily hide under his hair
>And the wind blew to reveal his cutiemark: a question mark and a magnifying glass
>Private Eye: “You want Anonymous Source, Polygraph, well here I am!”

>By Private Eye
>Or, in reality: Anonymous Source
>Your story is kind of a long one, but what matters is the here and now.
>Standing before you is your old CO; Inquisitory Polygraph of Royal Guard Division 363; sometimes known as ‘The Military Police’, ‘Internal Affairs’, and even the ‘No-Fun Squad’
>You took out his goons, gagging them and tying them up while each one was too distracted, focusing on the Princesses
>And now it’s just him
>Him and the terrified pinto in his forelegs with a sword to the kid’s throat
>Smiling, you stride towards him in a slow, easy gait
>Time for operation: bullshit
“What are you doing, Polygraph?”
>Poly: “Hanging onto a lifeline. Take one more step and the kid gets it!”
>You chuckle, pause, and with your broken horn take out a cigarette and light it up
>Old Poly is now pressing the kid’s throat hard enough to begin drawing blood
>Poly: “I mean it! One false move and he’s dead.”
“No he’s not. You kill him, you lose your shield, and no less than two princesses will bear down on you like a ton of bricks. And you know, I think that’s Princess Luna’s favorite citizen, so make that three princesses. You’ll be lucky if you actually die.”
>You take a long drag from your cigarette and keep walking forward
>Polygraph begins stepping back now, still holding the pipsqueak
>It’s bullshit, you just hope he won’t call you on it.
>You don’t need this on your conscience.
>Plus. you know Polygraph’s a spiteful enough son of a gun to kill him anyway.
>Damn, all this garbage because you had to play the ‘mysterious detective’ to show off to Princess Twilight.
>Still, you keep your cool and keep on walking
>Come on, Princess Twilight, you can teleport other people, can’t you?
“Polygraph, you’re not a meathead grunt, think about this; there’s no scenario here you come out on top.”
>Polygraph: “It’s not about win or lose, it’s that justice is served equally! You lied to Princess Celestia and got off scot free, painted a hero even! Meanwhile the rest of us had to run any everyone we left behind has been dragged into the mud too!”
>Seriously?
>Alright, you feel some empathy since you’re a sucker for family, but seriously?
“If we didn’t want this sort of thing to happen, we wouldn’t have done the extortion in the first-”
>Polygraph: “No! I want you to confess! Say it! Say it to everyone here! Tell them your role in things and maybe! Just maybe I’ll go quietly!”
>You take your cigarette and crush it in your magic grasp, your clipped horn sparking and fizzing slightly
“Alright, I’ll say it; yes. I was part of the extortion ring. Yes, I was your second-in-command. Yes, because of me, a lot of good ponies got hurt, lost a lot of money, and lost their faith in the Royal Guard, and yes, I’m the reason Celestia had no idea for so long. There, I said it, happy? Now put the kid down.”
>You don’t shout, but you know everyone heard it, you can feel them all looking at you in shock
>You don’t exactly feel much from all this where before you lost countless nights of sleep over it and several meals
>Polygraph: “You hear that, Princess?! You hear that? Your little hero’s not the saint you think he is-”
>Celestia: “I know.”
>You don’t feel choked up about your sins and mistakes like you did when you first told her.
>Celestia: “Neither am I the saint or hero ponies make me out to be. Anonymous Source confessed his own role in things to me when he confessed everything else. But I advised him to not reveal his own role to the newspapers and the public because the scandal would destroy the image of the Royal Guard as it was. So having ‘one good Guard’ helped keep some faith.”
>And in the end, crying didn’t help and martyrdom isn’t you...
>In a flash of light, Celestia had joined the two of you on the grassy lawn before Twilight’s castle
>Celestia: “Furthermore, Anonymous Source was indeed punished as well; ‘Five years exile from these lands’ though it seems he did not get that memo.”
>All you could do was just keep moving forward and...
“I still had work to do cleaning up the mess I made.”
>Polygraph screams in frustration, everything he had hoped for gone to waste
>He goes in for the kill, apparently hoping to drag down someone - anyone - with him
>Too bad while Princess Celestia was talking I stole his sword
>You wave it in front of him
“I thought you didn’t want others to be dragged down into the mud.”
>When he goes back to the colt to break his neck instead, the pinto is gone in another flash and Celestia carries him in a telekinetic embrace
>You step back and take the kid as she steps forward
>Celestia: “Polygraph, what did you honestly hope to gain from all this? Harassing my student? Holding a town hostage? Threatening me? Attempting to slander Anonymous’ name?”
>Polygraph is now a sputtering wreck. Everything he had seen for this went right down the sinkhole.
>Now you backup further
>In Celestia’s looming shadow, glowing white eyes snapped open and leered down at the stallion beneath them
>”So!  Thou art the reason Pipsqueak’s dream was interrupted? His rest stolen from him?”
>Now Polygraph (and you too, that’s some freaky shit) jumped back, ending up bumping into Celestia
>Out from the shadows, the Princess of the Night stepped forward, eyes glowing with rage
>You find yourself stepping back further and a cold sweat running down your face
>Luna: “Good dreams are our gift to our little ponies, to stir them so is to steal our gifts from them?”
>She now is pressing muzzle to muzzle with Polygraph, who’s just babbling in terror now between two angry princesses and unable to answer either.
>That poor poor bastard…
>Without another word, Luna’s own shadow comes alive and begins dragging Polygraph into it as if spiriting him away to Tartarus
>As your old CO struggles, you can’t help but reach out for him only for Celestia to stop you
>Luna: “Sister, we will be busy.”
>That was all she said before disappearing too into her shadow.
>”Best. Princess. Ever.”
>You look down at the colt in your arms who you swear has hearts in his eyes and set him down
>That kid is gonna be messed up when he gets older
>You set him down and look to Celestia who smiles assuringly.
>Celestia: “Do not worry, he will not be executed.”
“That’s what I’m worried about.”
>You hear dozens of hoofbeats coming towards you from the castle’s doors, led by Twilight herself.
>Twilight: “Princess, I’m so sorry this happened! And Anon, I completely ruined your cover! And I put the whole town in danger-”
>Celestia: “We will speak on matters later. And perhaps I was too vague.”
“Not to mention I could have ended this whole thing back at my office anyway. Plus, you, nor are any of the princesses responsible for the actions of others.”
>You reassure Twilight while taking out another smoke
>She takes it from you in her own, more powerful magical grip and approaches you with curiosity
>Twilight: “You’re really him? You’re the Anonymous of this world?”
>You shrug and take out another smoke
“Maybe? I’ve never been to this weird parallel dimension of yours and don’t exactly have plans on it.”
>Before you can light up this new on, Celestia pulls that one away and stares down at you.
>Celestia: “I believe all of us need to speak inside.”
>As she nods in the direction of the crystal, tree, castle thing you look around and see the gathered mob staring at you with a mix of reactions
>You really hate being the center of attention like this, so you nod, taking out another cigarette and heading inside
>As you levitate the lighter to the tip of the faggot, an orange earth pony knocks the cigarette from your lips and the lighter out of your telekinetic grip
>Orange Cowmare: “Sorry, partner, Twi’s castle’s a smoke free zone.”
>Oh, come on...

>Be Anonymous Source
>You’re sitting at the map table with Rarity and Rainbow Dash while Celestia and Twilight converse in the next room
>The rising sun and crystalline walls of the round table room made things hot as Tartarus
>And as you expected, Rainbow Dash was the loudest complainer
>Dash: “Jeez, someone needs to remind Twilight to put some fans in here or something!”
>She spreads her legs in her seat and beats her wings onto her underside
>Rarity: “For heaven’s sakes, Dashie, someone needs to remind you to be more ladylike. There’s a gentlecolt present!”
>Suddenly, Dash looks at you
>And you look at her
>You notice she’s still spread legged and sprawled in her chair
>Dash: “See something you like here?”
>She’s mocking you
>And doing a bad job at it
“Just trying to figure out if you were actually a mare.”
>Shots reflected
>Rarity: “How rude!”
“I’m not exactly the most polite pony in Equestria.”
>Shots dodged
>Rarity smiles and looks between you and Dash
>Rarity: “You really are made for eachother.”
>Suddenly, Rainbow Dash goes rigid in her seat, red shows through her coat, and her wings flare out like she’s ready to bolt then and there
>You just blink
“What’s that supposed to me?”
>Rarity and Dash: “Nothing at all.”
>Rarity says it coyly, Dash says it in a shout, looking away
>Shots… Uhhh… Missed?

>Still be Anon
>Conversation's died down pretty fast now. But Rarity keeps giving you these 'knowing' looks while Rainbow Dash keeps trying to look everywhere but you. And when she does look at you, she blushes furiously and her wings pop.
>It's kind of cute but also kind of irritating.
>They know something you don't and that bugs you.
>Does it have to do with what Twilight said? About the weird place with another version of yourself?
>Your detective skills start whirring in your head, eyes narrowing briefly on each of the girls.
>Rarity: You do know it's rude to stare?
"Then practice what you preach."
>Rarity scoffs and just turns away, though she still is wearing some kind of victorious smirk.
>Man that bugs you.
>Your eyes move to Rainbow Dash just as she takes her occasional glance back at you. She then puffs up like a bird trying to scare off something.
>Or peacocking for a mate with how red in the face she is.
>Dash: "Still trying to figure out if I'm a mare or not?"
>You shift your seating and slouch
"No, I'm just trying to figure out what in Tartarus is going on."
>Rarity: "Oh, whatever could you mean, darling?"
"I mean I haven't ever met the two of you until last night, but you two are acting like you know me. What has Twilight told you about my other self? Was he in some kind of relationship with the other two of you?"
>The look on your fails says everything
>Nail on the head
>Rarity stands up.
>Rarity: "NON-SPECIFIC EXCUSE!"
>And she jumps off the nearby balcony.
"Well that was... Blunt."
>Rarity: "I'm okay! Just a broken foreleg, darling!"
>You turn to Dash who seems ready to cry
>Dash: "I'MNOTREADYFORTHATKINDOFARELATIONSHIP!"
>Whut?
"What?"
>Dash tries to - well, dash. And ends up smacking into a window instead. Standing up, you calmly walk over to the pegasus as she slides down the wall and help her up.
"I have no idea what you just said. But I'm going to go out on a wing-"
>Heh, wing. Because she's a pegasus.
"And guess you think because one version of us became an item or something, you're doomed to the same thing."
>Rainbow Dash nods, tears in here eyes. Okay, admittedly, she looks adorable right now.
"Well you can knock that right off. I'm not gonna say we're different people, but I'm willing to bet the circumstances between us there or wherever is different from the ones here."
>You reassure her like a big brother or something. It seems to calm her down. You walk with her towards the balcony so you can both get some fresh air.
>Dash: "It's just... I know myself pretty well. I know I'm not the kind of mare who just gives herself to any guy unless I was sure."
>You bop her on the head.
"Didn't I tell you to knock that right off? Don't think about yesterday, you'll end up living your damn life in the past and miss out on everything before you know it. Don't think about what's out there, you'll lose sight on what you have here and now. Don't think so hard on the future or you'll spend your life paralyzed by 'what if?'"
>Rainbow Dash looks at your surprised and grins
>Dash: "You sound like some kind of wise preacher or something when you talk like that. Got experience, padre?"
>You stare out into the sunrise, against your own advice, memories live again in the light.
"When I was a colt, I had freedom, but I did not see it. I had time, but I did not know it. And I had love, but I did not feel it. I spent my days seeking time away from my home and school, not seeing the liberty having a home and education gave me. I spent my youth wanting to grow up, to have my cutie mark so I could be an adult instead of a child. I spent my childhood wishing to be far from my family than in the embrace of their love. We only get one shot at life, Rainbow Dash, we only get this moment."
>Your vision of the past vanished from the glare of the sun.
>Ow. Okay, looking into the sun was stupid no matter how nostalgic and cool you might have looked.
>Still blinking the spots from your eyes you hear Dash next to you.
>Dash: "Yeah... We really do only have this moment."
>Before you can say anything else, she grabs you by the neck and pulls you into a kiss.
>It's short, it's light, but it feels good
>She, however, is scrunching her face and sticking out her tongue.
>Dash: "You liked that?"
"Yeah..."
>Dash: "Then quit with the smoking, it really messes up the moment."
>You can't help but join her in a chuckle and you both head back into the room.
"So mind telling me what that was about?"
>Dash: "Following your advice and living in the moment, duh."
>Then, you notice her cutie mark beginning to glow
>Never seen that before.
>Dash: "Speaking of the moment and things that ruin it, I gotta head out... And for some reason I think I should get Pinkie Pie."
>She rushes back to the balcony, her wings spreading.
"Hey, I gotta ask; if we're gonna make this a thing... How about we do something nice when you get back?"
>Dash: "And what did you have in mind?"
"I dunno, how about whatever you want?"
>Something felt right about what was starting to happen
>She turns to you and grins.
>Dash: "Whatever I want, huh?"
>You know this will end badly
>But you want to do it anyway.
"Whatever you want."
>Dash: "I'm gonna make you eat those words when I get back, Anon."
>She glides off the edge of the balcony
>Just in time for the doors to open and Princess Twilight and Celestia to finish their chat.
>That took them awhile, now here's hoping by the time Dash comes back you aren't buying real estate on the sun or moon
>Celestia: "Anonymous Source, after much deliberation... You are to return to your exile and complete your five years sentence."
>Huh.
>Well it figures.
"Fair enough."
>Twilight: "However! There has been changes to the boundaries of Equestria since your original sentence. Ponyville is technically its own Free City-State."
>Celestia: "And thus, you are welcomed to spend your duration here, or in Apploosa. You will also be allowed to use the train and pass through Equestrian territories so long as you do not... Blah blah blah."
>Everything Went Better Than Expected.stndgls
>Celestia sighs.
>Celestia: "I'm sorry, I'm a bit worn out after this much excitement. Twilight drew up the full details on your sentence."
"Hey, it's alright, sorry for dragging you into this mess, Princess."
>Celestia looks up at you and smiles and touches her horn to the remains of yours
>Celestia: "Honestly, Anonymous, it is good to see you again after all this time. When the day comes, you are free to apply to the royal guard once more."
>Okay, when do you wake up back in your shitty office
>Or face down in the gutters smelling vaguely of ham?
>Rather than answer your unspoken question, Celestia vanished in a flash of golden light not unlight the sunrise you had stared at earlier
>Majestic? Yes. Good for your already abused eyes? Not so much.
>As you rub out the spots from your eyes again, Twilight approaches you.
>Twilight: "So, I wrote up everything you need to know about your sentence."
>She levitates a scroll in your face which you'll read once everything stops blurring together.
>Twilight: "And there's this."
>She drops another sack of gems in front of you.
>Twilight: "Both to start you out here in Ponyville or wherever you choose to live, and for a job well done."
"Thanks, Princess."
>Twilight: "Oh, and a free ticket. It's for the midnight train going anywhere so you'll have some time before you need to go."
>You smile and put out your hoof to decline and pick up the sack of gems.
"I think I'll be sticking around here for awhile."