Skit 10: Magical Girl Noir - Noir Mars Rising

-It's her most dangerous assignment yet.-

"Murderface, I need you to head to Mars, our compound there is under attack by the native life." The furry white mutant space cat telepathically communicated, sitting at a huge desk.

"Wait, we have a base on Mars?"

"Yes. Don't forget, Murderface, I'm not from here; I'm from outer space, where space travel is a trivial matter."

"And there's martians there?"

"... Yes." It nodded once, the action emphasizing its opinion on her trivial question.

-She's the only one capable of pulling it off, even if it means killing her.-

Camera pans across an airstrip, showing off the structure for a rocket ship. Muderface's legs are seen walking toward it in slow-mo.

"Ok, so what are my objectives?"

"Get yourself a team of four puella magi, Murderface. Anyone from the Officio, including Warmasters. You will need the best for this assignment."

"What's so awful about these lifeforms?"

"... You'll see."

Muderface isn't alone anymore. Four distinctive colored legs walking in slow-mo beside her. Everyone holds a helmet in their right hands as they make their way to the rocket.

"So are you ready to relive old times, Murderface?"

"..."

-Old friends fighting side by side on a planet of short livelihood.-

"Once there, you must defend our compound at any means necessary. We have top secret research that must be protected from all the other Officios, and if they fall in the wrong hands... all is lost."

The rocket ship blasts off, camera holding dramatically on the nose of it. Earth shrinks in the distance.

-Space is a vast emptiness devoid of warmth...

But Mars is but a step toward Hell.-

"I'll miss the rolling green hills of earth. Will I ever see the fleecy clouds and the dandelion wine flowers? Will we make it through, Murderface?"

"If you keep your wits about you, I don't see why not."

Next shot shows the rocket ship hurling through an asteroid belt. The trailer music spikes in dramatic tension.

"WE'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT ALIVE!"

"JUST HOLD ON, WE'LL PULL THROUGH!"

Asteroids lodge themselves in the hull, air venting in several places.

"WE'VE LOST TRAJECTORY. WE'LL NEVER LAND ANYWHERE NEAR OUR PROPOSED LANDING SITE."

"HOLD ON! WE'RE CRASH LANDING!"

IN

THE

END

ALL

WILL

BE

LOST

EVERYTHING VENTURED

NOTHING GAINED

A series of action scenes flash past, viscera spurting with wild abandon everywhere. Thrusting. Stabbing. Cutting. Blasting. Mouths open in cries of war, of death, of mercy, and of pity. Teeth snarling, capes fluttering, and eyes glinting with a zombie hatred.

All goes silent, and black. An uncomfortable silence. Uncertainty foremost.

Last scene of the trailer shows Murderface digging out of the rocket ship wreckage, cuts decorating her body like a christmas tree. She stops moving, and looks upward to find a crouched martian, a cockroach to be exact, its massive muscles that of a steel wall, staring down at her.

"Johj."

See Murderface in the movie hit of the season.

Magical Girl Noir: Noir Mars Rising.

"Do you think we'll live?"

A sigh.

"If we were so lucky..."

June 26th, 2013, in theaters near you.