Dad Stuff

So how's your dad?
Interesting, the band looks a little more comfy.
uh well... Got a call last night that he wouldn't make it until morning, so grabbed a car and got here by 4
To be fair, he was in terrible shape when I saw him
He's slowly recovering now in intensive care
They messed up his catheter and the bulb was in the urethra I guess? Christ.... bit of blood
That is seperate
I mean he has sepsis
And he probably had a minor heart attack
Fluid filled lungs
Etc etc
How are you holding up?
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
Well, shit. That sucks.
Also that would be a pretty uncomfortable u-cath
I'm so sorry.
How's your mom with all this?
If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine too.
What is the bulb?
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
Grey kitty is getting adopted
Gretel!
Mom is a fucking mess
Like holy shit
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
: ?
: /
She is super bad at processing this stuff it's incredible
So last night
They hate the telemarketers calling
So mom comes home and there are a few calls coming through she ignores them
Then later they keep calling and calling and calling
So with dad in the hospital she does the only logical thing
Disconnects all the phones.
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
D:
So now a phone for some reason is still ringing even though she says she disconnected all of them
And now someone is banging on the door
Over and over again
So of course
This person must be a burglar
Trying to get in and kill and rob her right.
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
Oh for sure
This is the typical burglar MO
So mom hides in the bedroom
And then eventually crawls to the kitchen like, military crawls to get to the phone
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
Wtf
Who was at the door??
Hehe one sec
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
Also, the bulb is the part of the catheter that stays in the bladder. It's like a little balloon that is inflated and it help hold the catheter in place.

Christ
How the fuck did they screw that up, poor dude must havebeen in agony.
So she calls 911 saying someone is trying to break in, she's out of her mind scared at this point.
"Open the door, those are police offers there to talk about your husband" anyway I think she has a mental break at that point.
They bring her to the hospital and reconfirm the DNR and call me to also confirm.
Dad was pretty much on his way out
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
But...he's recovering now??
Yes
The story is both funny, sad, and infuriating.
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
That is life.
Also an interesting bit of psychology I think.
Like although mom thought it was a burglar a part of her knew that it was dad, and she really didn't want to have to face any of that
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
You think?
Yeah based on her followup emotional break down explaining it
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
Ohs
"Well you can't feel like that at home right... like what would make you feel more safe what can I get or buy or whatever"

"I just want your dad home, even if he's crippled that's when I feel safe"
And just reading between the lines of other stuff she says
She isn't sleeping or eating or anything
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
:(
And there's no correct path of conversation that makes her feel better, or anything.
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
That is soo sad
Meditation route, or hypothetical worst case scenarios / best case, or emotional comfort, suggestion of pot... Just anything
Mom likes being a martyr so she's going to endure the suffering here, even if some of it is self created.
No one wants to feel sad, but mom likes feeling, and these are strong emotions
Her life doesn't have much feeling otherwise, so working herself into a tizzy is just her thing.
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
It does sound right
When it's not dad dying, it's how bad dad is being to her, or how much pain she is in, etc.
So there's really nothing I can do to alleviate this
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
Right
Which is frustrating as a logical problem solver.
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
She just wants to talk about how things suck
And person that can talk out and reason out this stuff
Yeah
I'm pretty much the worst child to have in this situation.
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
That is how you help though
As much as I can
I'm doing what I can
Anyway!
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
I know.
C'est la vie
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
You need to take it easy
Is there anything I can do for you guys?
Oh I'm fine
Nah, we're good
I got to see my dad and talk to him, so even if he takes a bad turn it's okay
During the ride I tried to reflect on how important it would be to be there when he passed
And he would not be conscious anyway
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
Exactly
It was more important that our last conversation was not an argument, which it was
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
It was an argument?
We were talking about blood types and that any baby after the first child of a couple with mismatching neg and pos blood types will die in utero.
I said that this was an actual biological thing that people deal with. He said it did not sound right, and I don't know what I
'm talking about
So I read the wiki aloud to him and he dismissed me.
I did not want that to be my last memory.
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
He hasn't been himself in a long time
There was probably another conversation after that but that is the one I remember about that day
Yeaahhh....
Which I could have come to eventually but right now I'm not in that place.
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
Ok
So at least... you know, either way, I feel more at peace now. So the drive was worth it regadless
Phew lots of typing
Mind if I copy and paste this for shane?
Jasmine Johnson (daughterisotope@gmail.com)
No problem