Pinkie 2

>For the years you've known Pinkie, she's always had mood swings
>For about every two weeks of cheer and laughter, she'll have a day of hopeless depression
>Everyone called those days her "off-days"
>You never thought much of it
>Everyone has their good and bad days, and Pinkie is just a person of extremes
>You kind of became accustomed to her off-days
>It was a routine break from the over-the-top Pinkie you were used to
>Sure, you love the girl, but her antics get a little exhausting after a while
>And on her off-days, she wants to be alone anyway, so you get a relaxing Pinkie-free day
>Besides, she always comes back around in a day or two, so it was never anything to worry about
>But that changed last month
>According to what Maud told you, she spent the day alone in her room, just like she always does on her off-days
>But when she came out, she had a few very large cuts down her face
>When Maud asked her what happened, now back to her cheery self, Pinkie responded "Oh, just a little accident!"
>Maud went into Pinkie's room and found a knife with blood on it
>To anyone's knowledge, this was the first time Pinkie had self-harmed
>But once is enough
>Pinkie's family forced her to see a psychiatrist
>She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder

>Pinkie was given some antipsychotic medicine, and life as you knew it continued
>No one at school really knew about this diagnosis other than the two people Maud told, you and AJ
>The kids at school did, however, know about the massive scars on Pinkie's face
>People constantly asked her about it, and she always either lied or dodged the question one way or another
>She's always been good at controlling social situations
>But for the most part, nothing was really different
>In fact, she hadn't had an off-day in about a month
>Until today
>It's a Saturday, and you get a text from Maud
>"Hi. Pinkie's having an off-day. I have to go to work at 2. I don't want her alone. Can you come over?"
>For being so totally weird, you're constantly impressed by how good of a sister Maud is
"Yeah, I'll be over soon."
>You make the familiar drive to Pinkie's place and go inside
>Maud is standing in Pinkie's bedroom doorway
>"Hi Anon. I wasn't expecting you."
>Bitch you invited me
>You head into Pinkie's room
"Hey Maud. Hey Pinkie."
>Silence
>"I have to go. Bye."
>As eloquent as ever, Maud
"See ya, Maud."
>Pinkie is slouched on her bed, and hasn't moved an inch since you got here
"How's it going?"
>"Just fucking perfect, Anon. Never been better."

>"So is Maud paying you to babysit me, or did she just guilt you into it?"
"Pinkie, I'm here because I want to be."
>"Bullshit."
>She's not wrong
>"You're here for the same reason Maud was in my room all morning. You're afraid I'm gonna kill myself."
>You're too shocked to respond
>"You don't have to lie to me. I'm not stupid. I know what's going on."
"Alright, fine. No lies."
>You flop onto the pink fuzzy couch across the room from Pinkie's bed
"So since I'm gonna be here for a while, do you want to talk, or would you rather just sit here in silence?"
>Pinkie rolls onto her side, facing away from you towards the wall
>"I don't fucking care."
"I want to know what's on your mind."
>"No you don't. Trust me."
"Pinkie, I cannot even begin to imagine what's going on in your head right now. So I'd really appreciate some insight."
>She sits up and faces you
>"Well how the fuck would you feel if everyone told you that your mind was broken?"

"Your mind's not broken, Pinkie."
>"THEN WHY THE HELL ARE THEY TRYING TO FIX IT?"
>She angrily smacks an open bottle of pills off of her night stand, scattering the pills everywhere
"Pinkie..."
>"The doctor told me that I was fucked up, and that he has to change me. You don't understand what that's like."
"You're right, I don't."
>"And then I go to school, and try to stay distracted. But everyone keeps talking about my fucking scars. And then I come home, and my whole family babysits me like I'm five years old. And then I have to take these STUPID FUCKING PILLS, BECAUSE I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH THE WAY I AM."
>She lays back down and faces the wall
"I like you the way you are, Pinkie."
>"Fuck you."
>You take a deep breath
"Well tell me this. Do you honestly like feeling like this? Don't you want to this to stop?"
>"It's not about that."
"Then what is it about?"
>"It's about putting chemicals in my body to change the way I think."
>Pinkie curled up on her bed, still facing the wall
>You're racking your brain trying to think of something to say to make her feel better
>But there's nothing you can say
>This is all so foreign to you, you really can't relate to her
>After a minute or two of silence, you hear some soft, muffled sobbing coming from Pinkie
"Do you want a hug?"
>She sniffles
>"Don't touch me."

>Normally, Pinkie's off-days are sparked by something trivial
>Like someone not texting her back or something
>But, for once, you can see that her grief is completely warranted
>She's ashamed that she cut herself
>She's offended that the doctor is trying to "fix" her
>She feels guilty for burdening her friends and family
>She's scared that her medicine is going to change her
>And she has absolutely no privacy in which to process those feelings
>And there's nothing that you can say that will change any of that
>You figure the best thing you can do is try to get her mind off of it
"Wanna play a video game?"
>"No."
"Come on, Pinkie. We might as well have some fun."
>"I said no."
"Fine. Can I play?"
>"Do whatever you want."
>You lean against her bed and set up Worms 3D
>It's her favorite game
>The two of you normally play it for hours at a time
>So you go ahead and start shooting cartoon worms with guns
>After a few minutes, she rolls over to watch
>Hook...
>After about twenty minutes, she starts letting out a few "OOH"s when you land a good shot
>... Line...
>"Lemme play!"
>... And sinker

>She slides onto the floor next to you as you hand her a controller
>"Let's play the war bunker level!"
>And just like that, she's back to normal
>She giggles every time one of the little worms says something silly
>She playfully hits you whenever you kill one of her worms
>And just like always, when you finish the last match, she laughs and gives you the tightest hug you could possibly endure
>And, just like always, she rests her head on your shoulder as her laughter dies down
>Your relationship with Pinkie has never been clear
>It was clear to everyone that you were more than "just friends", but the specifics have just never come up
>Snuggling always happened naturally
>She liked how warm you were, and you liked how big and soft her hair was
>And the two of you have kissed a handful of times in the past
>But it was never anything very intimate
>Sometimes Pinkie just gets really excited, and when she gets excited she gets affectionate, and when she get affectionate she likes to give you hugs and kisses
>You like it too
>In fact, you don't care whether or not Pinkie is "officially" your "girlfriend" or not
>You like your relationship exactly the way it is
>"Nonny?"
>Pinkie's arms are still wrapped around you tightly
"Yeah?"
>"I'm scared."

>At about 6:00, Pinkie's parents get home
>They're pleasantly surprised when Pinkie greets them with a big smile and even bigger hugs
>"Did you guys have fun shopping?"
>Her mom smiles at Pinkie's squeaky tone
>"We sure did, Pinkie! Um... where's Maud?"
>"She got called into work. But Nonny came over and played with me!"
>"Well I'm glad you had a fun day!"
>Since you've known Pinkie for so long, it's really interesting to hear how she masks all her emotions in glee
>What people don't understand about Pinkie is that she isn't as oblivious as she comes across
>Actually, she's extremely perceptive, unimaginably smart, and she simply chooses to exude happiness instead of drama
>And her parents are so used to it, they've kind of learned to communicate through that facade
>It just happened during that little conversation
>'Did you have fun shopping?' meant 'I'm in a good mood again'
>'We sure did! Where's Maud?' meant 'Good. But I though Maud was supposed to be here watching you'
>'She got called into work. But Nonny came over and played with me' meant 'She had to go, but she made sure not to leave me alone'
>Pinkie knew what her parents meant, her parents knew what she meant, and Pinkie made sure that the tone of the conversation remained light-hearted
>Fascinating, huh?
>"Is it okay if Nonny and I go to the park?"
>"Sure. Just don't be out all night."

>The park is a special place for you and Pinkie
>You always walk a three mile long path that loops around the park
>And you only ever go there if you have something serious you need to talk about
>The best thing about the park is that, whenever you're there, Pinkie drops her facade
>No forced giggling, no masquerade
>Only truth
>"The doctor told me that the medicine would stabilize my mood. But I don't want my mood to be stabilized. That's what makes me me."
"No one wants to change you, Pinkie. But you really scared everyone last month."
>She runs her hand along the scar on her face
>"I'm so stupid."
"What happened? Why did you do it?"
>"It's hard to explain."
"I know."

>"Sometimes feel like everyone doesn't like me. And I blame myself. And last month I got really mad at myself."
"You scared the hell out of me."
>Pinkie softly grabs your hand
>"I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry. It's just... the only reason everyone wants you to take that medicine is because we don't want anything to happen again."
>"I know that. But... I'm stuck."
"What do you mean you're stuck?"
>"I mean... every time I think about taking a pill, I think about having so much fun playing with you, and how I might not be as fun if I take the pills. But then when I think about not taking the pill..."
>Pinkie's eyes being to well up as she squeezes your hand
>"When I think about not taking the pill, I think about Maud..."
>She loudly sniffles as she takes a break from speaking to wipe her face on her sleeve
>"...I think about Maud's face when she saw me bleeding. And... and I don't ever want to make her feel like that again. So I don't know what to do."
>Before you could respond, she hastily drags you by your hand about fifty feet into the wooded area that was alongside the path
>She slumped down against a tree and buried her face in her arms, beginning to lose her composure
>"Anon."
>She looks up at you with a haunting desperation
>"I don't know what to do."

>You sit down next to an extremely distraught Pinkie
>As hard as it is to see your best friend break down like this, you know it's for the best right now
>She's been harboring these emotions for weeks without anywhere to be alone and let them out
>And the closest thing to being alone she can get right now is being in the middle of the woods with you
>It's really hard to watch
>Every time she raises her head from her arms, she looks at you and immediately becomes ashamed, reburying her face
>Pinkie absolutely hates showing real vulnerability
>She's under the impression that a good friend should bring her friends nothing but joy all the time
>So her being upset in front of you only makes her even more upset
>This results in the horrific spiralling bawling you see in front of you
>It's probably best to just let her get this all out of her system
>In fact, this was probably the whole reason she wanted to go to the park tonight in the first place
>So you sit with her for about an hour
>You drape your sweatshirt over her when you notice her shivering
>When she beckons for a hug, you hold her
>And eventually, the tears fade away along with the daylight
>As she wipes away the last of her tears, she looks at you and starts to laugh softly
>You gently rub her back
"Gonna be alright?"
>She nods
>"Mm-hmm."
"Good."
>You help her up and head back to your car

>And so tonight's episode is over with
>But nothing was really resolved
>Although Pinkie got a lot of bad emotions out of her system, you know the conflict is still there
>The next week of school went on normally enough
>There were no incidents, but you could definitely tell that there was a still lot on Pinkie's mind
>Then the next Saturday rolled around
>She told you she was hanging out with her family, so you didn't see her all day
>Then, around 7:30, you hear a frantic banging on your first-floor bedroom window
>It was of course Pinkie, and she looked out of breath and panicked
"Meet me out back."
>You run out your back door
>Pinkie immediately falls into you in tears, mumbling unintelligibly
>The only word you could make out was "help"
>You wrap your arms around her and gently stroke her back
"It's okay. You're fine. You're fine."
>You could tell she was out of breath in addition to crying, so her sobbing was chaotic and even sounded painful
>Her whines were complimented by coughing fits
>Tears and mucus poured from her face onto your shirt, which she was gripping intensely
>The vigor of her crying told you that this was more than just an outlet of emotions like last week
>Something must have happened
>She eventually was able to push out a comprehensible sentence
>"Can you text Maud and tell her I'm okay?"

>You shoot Maud a text tell her that Pinkie's with you as Pinkie sits down on the bench on your patio
>She's still in tears, but is regaining her composure
"Do you want to tell me what happened?"
>You join her on the bench
>"Are you gonna yell at me?"
"No, of course not."
>"I didn't take my pills this week."
>That doesn't really surprise you
>She pauses to see your reaction, and only continues once she sees that you weren't bothered
>"I didn't want my parents to find out, and I know they count how many pills are in the bottle every day to make sure I'm taking them. So I hid them in my dresser. But then Maud went to borrow clothes from me today and she found them, and she told my parents. My mom got really upset and my dad started yelling..."
>She takes a small break to pull herself together
>"My dad started yelling at me, and I got scared and ran away. I didn't know where else to go."
>Pinkie hangs her head in shame
"It's alright, Pinkie. You're always welcome here."
>You pull Pinkie's body into your so she's leaning on you
>A faint smile breaks through her tears
>"You're the best, Nonny."

>"I don't know where to go from here, Anon. I can't go home right now."
"You can stay here tonight if your parents are okay with it. But Pinkie... you know you're going to have to face this eventually, right? Like... it sucks, but you can't run away from this forever."
>"I know. Just... not tonight. Not now."
"Do you want to call your family? Ask them if you can sleep over?"
>"I didn't bring my phone. And... can you call them?"
"Sure, yeah. I'll call."
>"Thanks. I gotta go pee."
>Pinkie slips inside as you dial Maud
>Hers is the only number of Pinkie's family you have
>"Hello?"
"Hi Maud. Listen, Pinkie's fine, but she's just really upset. She wants to sleep here tonight. Can you ask your parents if she can?'
>"Okay."
>It never gets less weird to talk to Maud
>"They said yes."
"Cool. Thanks Maud. Tell them not to worry."
>"Goodbye."
>It was a pleasure speaking to you as always, Maud
>Pinkie comes back out
>"What'd they say?"
"Come with me to the garage."
>"Huh? Why?"
"To get the tent. We're camping out."
>Pinkie lights up
>"Okay!"

>Tent?
>Check
>Sleeping bags?
>Check
>Flashlights?
>Check
>Giggling Pinkie Pie?
>Very check
>Time to break into the candy
>The two of you snuggle up against each other and start paging through the big book of Peanuts Gallery  comics that you've read a billion times
>"You always know how to make me feel better, Nonny."
>You respond only with a smile
>"Will you still like me if I take the pills?"
"You're my best friend. There's nothing that will ever change that."
>She affectionately presses her head against your shoulder
"Besides, I don't think the pills are going to affect you as much as you think they are."
>"Well... me neither. But every time I look at them, I get scared."
"Maybe you should ask the doctor about it."
>"Mm-hmm"
>Pinkie bites into a lollipop, causing an abrupt loud noise
>You give each other over-exaggerated surprised looks, then laugh
>"I just don't want this to change."
"Me neither. It won't."
>As Pinkie relaxes into your shoulder, you bite into your lollipop as loudly as you can
>She flinches, startled, then lets out a snorty giggle
>She excitedly pins you on your back and rolls on top of you
>After twenty minutes or so of half-hearted wrestling and playful kissing, the two of you fall asleep sprawled atop your sleeping bags

>"Can you come home with me? I'm scared to talk to my parents."
"Yeah, I will. But I don't think you have anything to worry about. They're scared just like you are. That's the only reason they got upset."
>"I know, but... it would make me feel better if you were there."
>You drive to Pinkie's house
>She seems very fidgety and anxious
>Pinkie, unlike most girls her age, doesn't fight with her parents very often
>That's probably why she's blowing this out of proportion
>As you follow her into her house, both her parents immediately stand up to hug her
>Then everyone apologizes to everyone else for like ten minutes while you awkwardly stare at your shoes in the corner
>Hooray for healthy familial relationships
>Finally everyone sits down
>Pinkie glances at you and then back to her parents
>"Can I talk to the doctor again? I have some questions."
>Pinkie's mom is visibly shaken by Pinkie's seriousness, and immediately switches into supportive-mom-mode
>"What? Yes! Yes! Of course you can, sweetie! Darling, hand me the phone. We'll schedule an appointment for this afternoon!"
>Chill out, Mrs. Pie
>"Mom, it's Sunday."
>"Oh! Right. Well, we'll set something up as soon as we can!"

"So what'd he say?"
>You and Pinkie are back in the park, not far away from where she broke down the other day
>As the two of you stroll the path against a cold wind, Pinkie leans into you for warmth
>"He said the medicine would affect my mood swings, not my personality."
"That's a good thing, right?"
>"I guess so."
"You still sound nervous."
>"I am, but... listen Anon. I've been so worried that taking these pills will keep me from being happy. But there's something that I know will keep me happy no matter what happens. And it's you"
>Pinkie stops walking and looks into your eyes
>"As long as your my best friend, I don't care what happens. As long as we can still play video games and read comics together. Nothing else matters"
"That'll never change, Pinkie."
>"Promise."
"I promise."
>"PINKIE promise."
"Wha.. do I really have to say it?"
>Pinkie begins bouncing up and down in excitement
>"Say it! Say it!"
"Fine. Cross my heart, and hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye. I Pinkie promise."
>Glee overcomes her as she giggles and jumps forcefully into your arms and hugs you
>Once she's back on the ground, she keeps her arms wrapped tightly around your body
>"Thank you Nonny."

End.