Worst Christmas Ever

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Subtitles by explosiveskull

2
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<i>Mayor McHenry
currently faces 12 counts</i>

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<i>of corruption for his alleged
embezzlement of county funds</i>

4
00:01:07,660 --> 00:01:10,797
<i>and could face a maximum
of 12 years in state prison.</i>

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<i>I guess now we know
who to blame for all those</i>

6
00:01:13,331 --> 00:01:15,935
<i>unfilled potholes around town.</i>

7
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<i>Well, maybe they'll fill up
with snowflakes tonight, right, Stan?</i>

8
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<i>That's right, Todd.</i>

9
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<i>An Alberta clipper system,
a fast moving area</i>

10
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<i>of low pressure is dragging
a cold front our way,</i>

11
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<i>it's drawing moisture up from the south.</i>

12
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<i>We're expecting between
three and six inches</i>

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<i>worth of heavy, wet snow</i>

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<i>by the time you wake up
for Christmas morning.</i>

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<i>Christmas is... a happy time.</i>

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<i>Yep, a real happy time.</i>

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<i>I'm just saying,
Christmas ain't like it is</i>

18
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<i>in those feel good movies.</i>

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<i>Sometimes it could
be like, like...</i>

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Ho, ho, ho.

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<i>Like a cosmic kick in the dick.</i>

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<i>When I was 11,
the local county judge</i>

23
00:02:03,049 --> 00:02:04,416
<i>had a pretty shitty Christmas.</i>

24
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<i>It was all over the news.</i>

25
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<i>The judge comes home
late on Christmas Eve</i>

26
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<i>and there was a hit man
waiting for him in the kitchen.</i>

27
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<i>Could have been worse,
I mean, he lived.</i>

28
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<i>That kind of stuff happens all
the time in East Jesus, Ohio.</i>

29
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<i>We're just a scoot south
of bumblefuck Michigan</i>

30
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<i>on the border of Pensyltucky.</i>

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<i>Right square in a county
called trouble.</i>

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<i>Some pretty messed up
shit goes on here,</i>

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<i>on a daily, like, for reals.</i>

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For real?

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Sorry.

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That'll be all?

37
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It'll be $10.99.

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Would you like a bag with that?

39
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Do you have a bathroom?

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<i>Dear God...</i>

41
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<i>I know I don't
pray much ever, at all,</i>

42
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<i>but if you really do exist,</i>

43
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<i>if you really
are this all powerful,</i>

44
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<i>all knowing being,</i>

45
00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:07,800
<i>then please, just this once...</i>

46
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<i>help me.</i>

47
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Please, please,

48
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please, please, please, please.

49
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Please, please...

50
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please.

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Oh.

52
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Sophia!

53
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Me-a Sophia, you stole my heart

54
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and then I sharded.

55
00:06:16,736 --> 00:06:18,671
- Sophia!
- Oh, my God.

56
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What's you doing?

57
00:06:20,873 --> 00:06:22,574
Walking, what does it look like?

58
00:06:22,808 --> 00:06:24,243
It looks like
you could use a lift.

59
00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,644
You could use a car.

60
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Well, I got
my driver's permit last week

61
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and I've been
delivering papers, so...

62
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my uncle's Sunfire
will be mine in no time.

63
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- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

64
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By then I bet you could use
a ride but I might be too busy.

65
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I thought you were in love with me?

66
00:06:40,926 --> 00:06:42,594
Now you're going to be too busy.

67
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I was in love in you,
that was last year.

68
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Plus, I heard you're
with Trey Davis now.

69
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We broke up. Kind of.

70
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- I figured.
- What's that suppose to mean?

71
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Well, when I was coming here,
I passed Madison Fatchek's house

72
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and as soon as her dad
leaves, I see him walk in.

73
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Fatchick, Fatchek?

74
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She's not so fat anymore.

75
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I heard she got
her stomach stapled.

76
00:07:07,153 --> 00:07:09,288
Jimmy Stam says that
she's anorexic.

77
00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:10,990
She's probably bulimic.

78
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Those titties, still fat though.

79
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You're so gross!

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Just saying.

81
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Isn't her dad a cop?

82
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He's a detective and Jimmy Stam

83
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told me that she helps
her cousin sell weed

84
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and he doesn't detect shit.

85
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That must be where Trey's
been getting faded.

86
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He's probably getting
more than just weed.

87
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- Stop.
- What?

88
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Your shoe's untied.

89
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The stupid thing
keeps coming undone.

90
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You should double knot it.

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You should hold on.

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<i>♪ It was the night before
Christmas Day ♪</i>

93
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<i>♪ And all the elves was busy
loading up the sleigh ♪</i>

94
00:08:09,982 --> 00:08:13,352
<i>♪ Jolly Santa was like
getting his kicks ♪</i>

95
00:08:14,253 --> 00:08:17,823
<i>♪ And some old reindeer
was out learning new tricks ♪</i>

96
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<i>♪ But one of the elves said
"Man, we got to go ♪</i>

97
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<i>♪ We're way behind
and it's beginning to snow" ♪</i>

98
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<i>♪ Just in Rudolph
with the bloody nose ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Arrives Santa with his sleigh
and whiskey on his clothes ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ♪</i>

101
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<i>♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho
ho, ho, ho, ho ♪</i>

102
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<i>♪ As jolly jingle bells
was ringing ♪</i>

103
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<i>♪ All them little children
they was singing ♪</i>

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- Hi, Sophia.
- Hi, Sophia.

105
00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:11,744
So when does
your stepdad go to work?

106
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- He got fired.
- Again?

107
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I know. Right?

108
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What are you doing tonight?

109
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- I don't know.
- My parents are going to the casino

110
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and I know where
they keep their booze

111
00:09:24,857 --> 00:09:27,426
if you want to go back to
my place and Netflix and chill.

112
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- I can't.
- Yeah, right, whatever.

113
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Noah.

114
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Noah!

115
00:09:40,973 --> 00:09:42,274
Why don't you
cook dinner for once?

116
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Because I don't want to.

117
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:45,077
Why don't you
get off my nutsack?

118
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You are such a prick.

119
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- You want me to turn off the power again?
- Woman, please.

120
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How many times we have to
go through this, Rayjon?

121
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We need to save money, get that
through your freaking skull.

122
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Yeah, and how much that outfit
cost at Penny's yesterday?

123
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- I got that for work.
- Sure you did.

124
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You really think it cost
more than those golf clubs

125
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:02,728
you got out in the garage?

126
00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:04,997
Again with the golf clubs.

127
00:10:05,097 --> 00:10:07,299
What'd you think, you were
Tiger Woods or something?

128
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,735
You're going to sell those
things tomorrow, you hear me?

129
00:10:09,835 --> 00:10:10,736
No, I ain't.

130
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If you don't then I will.

131
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Go to work, Theresa.

132
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At least I got a job,
you freaking deadbeat.

133
00:10:18,544 --> 00:10:20,379
What did you say?

134
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Eat... a... dick.

135
00:10:28,153 --> 00:10:29,255
That's got
a good beat to it, right?

136
00:10:29,355 --> 00:10:31,423
Real mature,
say it a little louder

137
00:10:31,523 --> 00:10:32,358
so the kids can hear you.

138
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Eat a dick, eat a dick,
take a big old bite,

139
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or a little lick.

140
00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,133
I should record that
right there.

141
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<i>We've all had a shitty Christmas</i>

142
00:10:51,043 --> 00:10:53,078
<i>at one time or another, right?</i>

143
00:11:01,086 --> 00:11:03,422
<i>Like, when I was four years old</i>

144
00:11:04,023 --> 00:11:07,793
<i>my dumbass daddy robbed
a Quick Mart twice.</i>

145
00:11:08,894 --> 00:11:11,797
<i>Ask my mom about that Christmas,
and all she'll say</i>

146
00:11:11,897 --> 00:11:14,566
<i>is, "He didn't get me
nothing that year."</i>

147
00:11:14,668 --> 00:11:16,468
Why are you bitching at me?

148
00:11:16,568 --> 00:11:19,471
Because you didn't get me
nothing for Christmas this year,

149
00:11:19,571 --> 00:11:21,006
you cheap son of a bitch.

150
00:11:21,540 --> 00:11:25,544
- Wait, what time is it?
- It's 11:53.

151
00:11:25,645 --> 00:11:28,347
Well, it ain't
Christmas morning yet.

152
00:11:30,449 --> 00:11:32,017
Where you going?

153
00:11:32,117 --> 00:11:33,819
The night is young, Theresa.

154
00:11:33,919 --> 00:11:35,321
The night is not young,

155
00:11:35,421 --> 00:11:37,056
it's Christmas freaking Eve.

156
00:11:37,156 --> 00:11:40,092
You can't get nothing now,
every where's closed.

157
00:11:40,592 --> 00:11:42,361
We'll see about that.

158
00:11:50,302 --> 00:11:54,306
- Nefantarter, holy shit, is that you?
- Yeah.

159
00:11:54,406 --> 00:11:57,209
You look good, man,
like you've been lifting.

160
00:11:57,309 --> 00:11:59,078
Yeah, yeah, I'm good.

161
00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:02,348
You need anything, man,
I got ups and downs,

162
00:12:02,448 --> 00:12:05,984
- and loopty-loos.
- No, thanks, man.

163
00:12:06,085 --> 00:12:08,120
I told you I'm good.

164
00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:11,190
Been clean for two years.
You ain't noticed?

165
00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:15,127
Two... two years, it's been
that long, holy shit, man,

166
00:12:15,227 --> 00:12:20,165
I remember when you were
everyday, twice a day.

167
00:12:20,265 --> 00:12:22,067
Yeah, not anymore.

168
00:12:22,501 --> 00:12:25,504
Hey, hey, didn't you
go to jail or some shit

169
00:12:25,604 --> 00:12:27,106
for leaving your kid in the car

170
00:12:27,206 --> 00:12:30,042
while you were getting
a handy at the Rub & Tug?

171
00:12:31,343 --> 00:12:33,879
Yeah, I was all doped out

172
00:12:33,979 --> 00:12:35,881
on that crystal blue
shit back then.

173
00:12:36,448 --> 00:12:39,418
Oh, yeah, crystal blue.

174
00:12:39,518 --> 00:12:42,020
I got that
crystal blue shit, man.

175
00:12:44,056 --> 00:12:45,290
Not anymore.

176
00:12:56,034 --> 00:13:00,439
I know what you like, mama,
you like that white chocolate.

177
00:13:05,010 --> 00:13:08,280
- $1.87.
- $1.87?

178
00:13:08,380 --> 00:13:12,084
- Yes.
- Uh, that's a bit steep, ain't it?

179
00:13:12,184 --> 00:13:16,188
- Tax.
- Yeah, yeah, tax my ass.

180
00:13:16,723 --> 00:13:19,391
Shit, I forgot my wallet.

181
00:13:21,994 --> 00:13:24,430
I'll tell you what, you pay me.

182
00:13:25,297 --> 00:13:27,634
- What?
- You pay me.

183
00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:29,935
Come on, open the register.

184
00:13:33,439 --> 00:13:36,275
Open the register.

185
00:13:39,211 --> 00:13:42,581
Next time you should, uh,
catch it with your hands, not your face.

186
00:13:44,016 --> 00:13:45,951
Come on, come on,
underneath too.

187
00:13:46,653 --> 00:13:49,955
Holy Christmas tits!

188
00:13:50,055 --> 00:13:51,290
Is this for me?

189
00:13:51,390 --> 00:13:53,325
Be a good little elf

190
00:13:53,425 --> 00:13:55,127
and put it all in Santa's sack.

191
00:13:56,094 --> 00:13:57,129
Uh-uh.

192
00:13:59,331 --> 00:14:03,001
Hey, uh, sorry about your eye.

193
00:14:15,481 --> 00:14:17,015
<i>My daddy took all that money,</i>

194
00:14:17,616 --> 00:14:19,117
<i>and put it straight in his arm.</i>

195
00:14:20,385 --> 00:14:22,387
Oh, shit.

196
00:14:33,766 --> 00:14:36,502
Ah. I forgot the goddamn candy.

197
00:14:41,774 --> 00:14:43,575
And I tell him, don't
you ever come back here,

198
00:14:43,676 --> 00:14:46,044
or I'll kick your
shitty little ass, punk.

199
00:14:50,817 --> 00:14:54,353
I forgot my candy
bar, but since I'm here,

200
00:14:54,453 --> 00:14:58,524
why don't you do me a favor
and give me your wallet?

201
00:14:58,624 --> 00:15:01,426
Please, sir, you've
already robbed us once.

202
00:15:01,861 --> 00:15:05,330
No, I already robbed him.

203
00:15:10,235 --> 00:15:11,738
Damn.

204
00:15:12,337 --> 00:15:14,273
I'm sorry,
none of you guys can catch,

205
00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:16,441
that's too bad.

206
00:15:18,878 --> 00:15:22,447
Merry Christmas, fellas.

207
00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:47,139
Oh, oh, there it is, oh, oh.

208
00:15:54,681 --> 00:15:56,849
You cheap son of a bitch.

209
00:15:56,950 --> 00:15:57,817
Theresa.

210
00:15:58,685 --> 00:15:59,418
You didn't get me nothing

211
00:15:59,986 --> 00:16:00,653
for Christmas this year.

212
00:16:01,353 --> 00:16:02,120
Uh, that's not true.

213
00:16:03,522 --> 00:16:06,291
I, I got you
your favorite candy bar.

214
00:16:08,628 --> 00:16:10,730
Eat it, Daddy.

215
00:16:25,678 --> 00:16:26,679
I want candy.

216
00:16:31,216 --> 00:16:32,819
Oh. Oh!

217
00:16:32,919 --> 00:16:35,554
- What kind are you going to get?
- Peanut butter.

218
00:16:36,388 --> 00:16:37,489
I'm going to get caramel.

219
00:16:37,589 --> 00:16:39,458
You should try
the white chocolate.

220
00:16:39,558 --> 00:16:42,327
Mm. It's delicious.

221
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:52,672
<i>My mom still pretends he OD'd,</i>

222
00:16:53,372 --> 00:16:55,574
<i>but I'm too old
for Santa Clause and fairytales.</i>

223
00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:57,677
<i>♪ I got big rocks in my pocket ♪</i>

224
00:16:57,777 --> 00:16:59,344
<i>♪ And I love girls to stop it ♪</i>

225
00:16:59,444 --> 00:17:00,813
<i>♪ Anybody want that smoke ♪</i>

226
00:17:00,913 --> 00:17:02,547
<i>♪ Then I'll show
my pocket rockets ♪</i>

227
00:17:02,649 --> 00:17:03,750
<i>♪ Hit the road ♪</i>

228
00:17:09,621 --> 00:17:11,924
All you all fools going to
get wasted when I get all this shit.

229
00:17:12,624 --> 00:17:14,727
He sounds like a nuub.

230
00:17:14,827 --> 00:17:15,762
What'd you say?

231
00:17:16,228 --> 00:17:18,463
Yeah, total nuub.

232
00:17:18,931 --> 00:17:21,299
Oh, who you calling nuub?

233
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,235
I'll smoke all you all fools.

234
00:17:23,636 --> 00:17:25,570
Okay, nuub, whatever you say.

235
00:17:28,473 --> 00:17:29,776
Oh, he's dead, get him, get him.

236
00:17:29,876 --> 00:17:30,810
Man, shut up.

237
00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:35,180
- He sucks.
- You all think you all are bad?

238
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,916
I ought to kick both of
your asses when I see you all.

239
00:17:37,016 --> 00:17:38,316
You best believe that.

240
00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:39,819
Come on, boys,
let's go to the mall.

241
00:17:40,753 --> 00:17:42,421
Who wants to see Santa?

242
00:17:44,623 --> 00:17:47,592
Yay!

243
00:17:55,968 --> 00:17:57,970
What?

244
00:17:58,071 --> 00:18:00,372
- Sophia.
- Go away!

245
00:18:01,306 --> 00:18:02,842
Is everything
all right, sweetie?

246
00:18:05,277 --> 00:18:06,946
You have to work
on Christmas Eve?

247
00:18:07,046 --> 00:18:09,614
Yeah, we're doing
inventory today.

248
00:18:10,016 --> 00:18:11,818
I could use the extra hours.

249
00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:14,252
I'll be home by 11, don't worry.

250
00:18:15,287 --> 00:18:17,824
Just makes sure dickhead downstairs
cooks something for dinner.

251
00:18:19,591 --> 00:18:20,927
- Did you hear me?
- Yes!

252
00:18:22,527 --> 00:18:24,229
You don't mind
if I borrow these, do you?

253
00:18:24,864 --> 00:18:26,331
I'll give them back, I swear.

254
00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:30,602
What's the matter, is it Trey?

255
00:18:31,603 --> 00:18:32,471
What did he do now?

256
00:18:32,571 --> 00:18:34,006
Mind your own business.

257
00:18:34,741 --> 00:18:36,642
I was a teenager
once too, you know?

258
00:18:37,609 --> 00:18:38,644
Until I got pregnant.

259
00:18:39,411 --> 00:18:40,913
Anyways, been there done that.

260
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:42,547
I'm always here
if you need to talk.

261
00:18:43,716 --> 00:18:46,318
- Mom.
- Oh, no, I can't right now, honey, I got to go.

262
00:18:47,352 --> 00:18:49,454
Do me a favor though, stop by
and see your grandparents today.

263
00:18:49,756 --> 00:18:52,457
- Do I have to?
- Yes, you have to.

264
00:18:52,959 --> 00:18:55,494
- Why?
- Because they're old,

265
00:18:55,594 --> 00:18:57,295
and they live,
like, five blocks away

266
00:18:57,395 --> 00:18:58,664
and they're probably
going to die soon.

267
00:18:59,766 --> 00:19:01,667
- And because I said so.
- Whatever!

268
00:19:01,768 --> 00:19:03,268
You don't think Grandma
could use the extra help.

269
00:19:03,736 --> 00:19:05,037
Malecia was supposed
to come over.

270
00:19:05,638 --> 00:19:07,907
So go later,
they'd love to see you.

271
00:19:08,007 --> 00:19:10,009
Fine, I'll go
but it's total bullshit.

272
00:19:10,109 --> 00:19:13,445
- Sophia Hendrix, so help me, God.
- That is not my name.

273
00:19:13,545 --> 00:19:15,982
Girl, sometimes I swear you act
like a spoiled little twat.

274
00:19:16,682 --> 00:19:18,350
If you want to keep
your daddy's last name

275
00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:20,820
and be known as the daughter
as an OD'd smack addict,

276
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,388
go ahead but don't come
crying to me again

277
00:19:23,488 --> 00:19:24,791
when they start
bullying you in school.

278
00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:27,794
Great, now I'm really
going to be late.

279
00:19:28,393 --> 00:19:29,327
Can I use this?

280
00:19:31,731 --> 00:19:32,665
I love you, sweetie.

281
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,650
Hey, I remember you,
you live on Easy Street, right?

282
00:19:51,651 --> 00:19:53,085
Your mama like jewelry?

283
00:19:53,186 --> 00:19:54,854
She got any diamonds?

284
00:19:55,453 --> 00:19:58,024
Hey, where
the hoe, hoe, hoes at?

285
00:19:58,124 --> 00:20:00,458
How about I take you
home with me tonight?

286
00:20:00,559 --> 00:20:02,094
Could be my elf on the shelf.

287
00:20:02,895 --> 00:20:03,930
No, thanks.

288
00:20:04,462 --> 00:20:05,932
You ain't even my type.

289
00:20:15,975 --> 00:20:17,710
Okay, everybody,
let's take a little break.

290
00:20:20,746 --> 00:20:23,049
I'm sorry, folks, I just
need a word with old St. Nick.

291
00:20:23,983 --> 00:20:25,350
We'll be open in ten minutes.

292
00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:28,486
It's bad enough you show up
three sheets to the wind.

293
00:20:28,587 --> 00:20:31,590
You smell like you parked your
sleigh up Rudolph's rotten asshole,

294
00:20:31,691 --> 00:20:34,961
and you definitely can't smoke
the wacky tobacy here,

295
00:20:35,995 --> 00:20:37,063
not in my mall.

296
00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:42,467
You got something to say to me?

297
00:20:44,971 --> 00:20:46,973
You son of a bitch,
you're fired!

298
00:20:49,141 --> 00:20:52,712
<i>♪ Jingle bells what's that smell
best stay out my way ♪</i>

299
00:20:52,812 --> 00:20:54,947
<i>♪ And if you don't
I take your phone ♪</i>

300
00:20:55,047 --> 00:20:57,116
<i>♪ And punch you
in the face, hey! ♪</i>

301
00:20:57,216 --> 00:21:00,518
<i>♪ Jingle bells go to hell
it's time for you to pay ♪</i>

302
00:21:01,053 --> 00:21:04,690
<i>♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
this town this holiday ♪</i>

303
00:21:05,091 --> 00:21:08,928
<i>♪ Stumbling through snow
on a street this Christmas Day ♪</i>

304
00:21:09,028 --> 00:21:10,930
<i>♪ What time's
the pawn shop close ♪</i>

305
00:21:11,030 --> 00:21:12,865
<i>♪ Pulled up, I'm on my way ♪</i>

306
00:21:12,965 --> 00:21:16,534
<i>♪ Got a 40 in my hand
throwing shit up in my sack ♪</i>

307
00:21:17,069 --> 00:21:21,040
<i>♪ Hope I don't get caught again
or jail I'm going back ♪</i>

308
00:21:21,140 --> 00:21:24,810
<i>♪ I see you when you sleep
I see when you're awake ♪</i>

309
00:21:24,911 --> 00:21:28,814
<i>♪ But if you try and stop me
you'll make a big mistake ♪</i>

310
00:21:28,915 --> 00:21:30,983
<i>♪ Down your chimney
I will slide ♪</i>

311
00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:33,019
<i>♪ On a cold and snowy night ♪</i>

312
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,822
<i>♪ Taking all your gifts
and, bitch, I'm out of sight ♪</i>

313
00:21:36,923 --> 00:21:38,691
<i>♪ I'm out of sight ♪</i>

314
00:21:38,791 --> 00:21:42,895
<i>♪ Out of sight ♪</i>

315
00:21:42,995 --> 00:21:45,597
<i>♪ Bitch, I'm out of sight ♪</i>

316
00:21:45,698 --> 00:21:47,199
<i>♪ Out of sight ♪</i>

317
00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:51,003
<i>♪ Bitch, I'm out of sight
I'm out of sight ♪</i>

318
00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:53,105
<i>♪ Bitch, I'm out of sight ♪</i>

319
00:22:03,916 --> 00:22:06,152
Damn, boy you going
to do me like that.

320
00:22:08,921 --> 00:22:10,622
Hi, Mr. Hendricks,
is Sophia home?

321
00:22:13,225 --> 00:22:14,160
Yeah, she upstairs.

322
00:22:15,861 --> 00:22:17,029
Hi, Malecia.

323
00:22:19,597 --> 00:22:23,069
Oh, what now, sucker?

324
00:22:23,169 --> 00:22:24,637
Wait, that's not fair.

325
00:22:24,737 --> 00:22:26,072
Who is it?

326
00:22:26,172 --> 00:22:27,673
It's me, open up.

327
00:22:32,544 --> 00:22:34,612
Thank you so
much for coming over.

328
00:22:34,714 --> 00:22:36,481
Anything for my BFF.

329
00:22:43,823 --> 00:22:46,624
Oh, God, your stepbrother
is such a freak.

330
00:22:47,193 --> 00:22:48,560
Why, what'd he do now?

331
00:22:48,995 --> 00:22:51,063
Notta, boy's just whack.

332
00:22:52,231 --> 00:22:55,267
You have no idea, he sits
down there playing games

333
00:22:55,368 --> 00:22:58,570
all day because
he has, like, zero friends.

334
00:22:58,671 --> 00:23:00,139
What about the little boy
from down the street,

335
00:23:00,239 --> 00:23:02,008
uh... Franki, what's his face?

336
00:23:02,108 --> 00:23:03,642
Oh, RJ kicked
the crap out of him,

337
00:23:03,743 --> 00:23:05,878
so now Mrs. Baylaw won't
let him come over anymore.

338
00:23:05,978 --> 00:23:07,279
The boy's, like, ten years old.

339
00:23:07,380 --> 00:23:09,148
- Yep.
- With asthma.

340
00:23:09,915 --> 00:23:12,151
RJ gets picked on by all
the kids in his own grade,

341
00:23:12,251 --> 00:23:15,287
so he pays that forward by
bullying anyone weaker than him.

342
00:23:15,388 --> 00:23:16,922
Freakshow.

343
00:23:17,256 --> 00:23:20,159
In other news,
so what's up with Sophia?

344
00:23:21,227 --> 00:23:22,828
I'm pregnant.

345
00:23:23,062 --> 00:23:24,764
Shut up, are you serious?

346
00:23:25,597 --> 00:23:28,200
Oh, that's wild,
do you know who's it is?

347
00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:31,170
Of course I know
who's it is, it's Trey's!

348
00:23:31,771 --> 00:23:33,538
- Oh.
- What?

349
00:23:34,073 --> 00:23:36,208
- Nothing.
- No, tell me, what?

350
00:23:36,308 --> 00:23:39,544
It's like I heard
he was with Fatchick now.

351
00:23:39,645 --> 00:23:41,579
No, he just gets
weed off of her.

352
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:42,782
That's not what I heard.

353
00:23:42,882 --> 00:23:44,850
Can we focus
on the problem here?

354
00:23:44,950 --> 00:23:47,552
- What's that?
- The baby, Malecia, the baby!

355
00:23:47,653 --> 00:23:49,955
- Oh, gee, relax.
- Relax?

356
00:23:50,056 --> 00:23:53,826
I cannot relax.
My mom is going to kill me.

357
00:23:53,926 --> 00:23:55,795
My whole life is over!

358
00:23:55,895 --> 00:23:57,663
I'm going to have
to drop out of school.

359
00:23:57,763 --> 00:24:01,100
I'm going to have to get,
like, a job for diapers.

360
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:03,302
No, you won't,
that's what welfare's for.

361
00:24:03,836 --> 00:24:04,904
What?

362
00:24:05,004 --> 00:24:07,673
I'm going to get so fat!

363
00:24:07,773 --> 00:24:09,341
Well, look at the bright side,

364
00:24:09,442 --> 00:24:11,343
if Trey's into Madison Fatchek,

365
00:24:11,944 --> 00:24:14,280
maybe he likes a little
extra cushion for the pushing.

366
00:24:14,380 --> 00:24:16,282
Ow, sorry.

367
00:24:17,850 --> 00:24:19,118
He's not with Fatchek.

368
00:24:20,386 --> 00:24:23,122
Besides, heard she lost, like,
a lot of weight or something.

369
00:24:23,222 --> 00:24:24,990
Oh, I have an idea.

370
00:24:26,258 --> 00:24:28,360
- Well, spit it out.
- Girl, that's what you should have done.

371
00:24:29,695 --> 00:24:31,596
Ow, sorry.

372
00:24:33,032 --> 00:24:35,901
You could get an abortion.

373
00:24:37,069 --> 00:24:39,071
You mean, like, kill it?

374
00:24:39,171 --> 00:24:41,340
You can't kill something that's
not been born yet, can you?

375
00:24:42,308 --> 00:24:46,045
I mean, I guess not.
Is that even legal?

376
00:24:46,145 --> 00:24:48,881
Of course it's legal, it's been
legal since, like, the '80's.

377
00:24:49,248 --> 00:24:51,317
Haven't you ever heard
of a woman's right to choose?

378
00:24:52,184 --> 00:24:54,019
I thought it was choosing
the name or something.

379
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:57,123
No, dummy,
that means you can choose

380
00:24:57,223 --> 00:24:59,959
to keep it or...

381
00:25:01,794 --> 00:25:03,963
- So my mom would never know?
- Nope.

382
00:25:04,063 --> 00:25:05,297
Nobody ever has to know.

383
00:25:05,998 --> 00:25:07,633
Here, let's search it.

384
00:25:09,301 --> 00:25:13,772
Ohio abortions... got it.

385
00:25:14,206 --> 00:25:16,075
Well, what's it say?

386
00:25:17,343 --> 00:25:18,244
Uh...

387
00:25:21,947 --> 00:25:25,784
A parent must consent
before a minor gets an abortion.

388
00:25:26,785 --> 00:25:28,387
My life is so over.

389
00:25:30,222 --> 00:25:31,757
Want to go get pizza?

390
00:25:32,424 --> 00:25:34,226
Go grab me another
six pack out the fridge.

391
00:25:37,997 --> 00:25:40,266
- Can I get one?
- Yeah, no.

392
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,808
- Where you all going?
- Out.

393
00:25:49,909 --> 00:25:50,910
You got to babysit
the boys next door.

394
00:25:51,010 --> 00:25:53,412
- Uh, no one told me that.
- Yeah, the neighbor lady

395
00:25:53,512 --> 00:25:55,080
came over this morning,
asked if you could watch them

396
00:25:55,181 --> 00:25:57,116
while she do some
last minute Christmas shopping.

397
00:25:57,216 --> 00:25:59,251
- So I told her, all right.
- Well, I can't.

398
00:25:59,351 --> 00:26:01,754
Your mom going to be heated
when she find out.

399
00:26:01,854 --> 00:26:04,990
- You know we need that scrilla.
- Sorry, not sorry.

400
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:08,761
Malecia!

401
00:26:09,962 --> 00:26:10,963
I can babysit.

402
00:26:11,430 --> 00:26:13,265
You?

403
00:26:22,341 --> 00:26:24,777
- So when did it happen?
- What?

404
00:26:26,378 --> 00:26:28,047
Oh, oh!

405
00:26:28,147 --> 00:26:30,816
- Oh, yeah.
- On Thanksgiving.

406
00:26:30,916 --> 00:26:33,152
Get out, he stuffed you
up on turkey day?

407
00:26:35,888 --> 00:26:37,423
Was it at his house or yours?

408
00:26:37,523 --> 00:26:40,125
He actually got in a huge fight
with his parents that night,

409
00:26:40,793 --> 00:26:44,129
had nowhere to go to eat so
I invited him over to join us.

410
00:26:44,230 --> 00:26:45,798
Oh, you're too sweet.

411
00:26:46,198 --> 00:26:47,466
It actually happened in his car.

412
00:26:50,302 --> 00:26:53,005
<i>Next thing I knew
we were just doing it.</i>

413
00:26:53,839 --> 00:26:55,007
<i>How'd you get pregnant?</i>

414
00:26:55,107 --> 00:26:56,342
Uh, last time I checked

415
00:26:56,442 --> 00:26:58,344
there's only one way
to get pregnant.

416
00:26:58,444 --> 00:27:01,013
- Didn't he use a condom?
- Yeah, at first.

417
00:27:01,380 --> 00:27:02,481
Then it kept getting...

418
00:27:05,150 --> 00:27:07,052
- soft.
- The condom?

419
00:27:07,152 --> 00:27:08,187
No, him!

420
00:27:08,287 --> 00:27:09,388
So he had to take it off.

421
00:27:10,155 --> 00:27:11,323
Oh.

422
00:27:22,067 --> 00:27:24,370
- Sophia!
- Oh, no.

423
00:27:26,205 --> 00:27:30,209
I waited for my period,
it just never came.

424
00:27:33,912 --> 00:27:35,814
- No way!
- What!

425
00:27:36,081 --> 00:27:39,018
It's my mom, she says
someone broke into the house.

426
00:27:39,118 --> 00:27:41,487
- Really?
- Sorry, bae, got to go.

427
00:27:46,225 --> 00:27:49,395
Stay strong, girl,
you'll figure it out. Hundo p.

428
00:27:52,364 --> 00:27:54,867
Oh, hell no,
they took our presents.

429
00:28:09,315 --> 00:28:14,253
Sophia, won't you
ride with me-a?

430
00:28:14,353 --> 00:28:15,521
Are you stalking me?

431
00:28:16,188 --> 00:28:17,456
You wish I was stalking you.

432
00:28:17,556 --> 00:28:19,124
So you're not stalking me?

433
00:28:19,224 --> 00:28:20,959
No, I'm, uh,
I'm on my way to Walmart.

434
00:28:21,060 --> 00:28:22,328
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

435
00:28:22,428 --> 00:28:24,997
- Walmart's that way.
- Oh, I mean, uh,

436
00:28:25,097 --> 00:28:26,265
I mean, I'm coming
back from Walmart.

437
00:28:26,365 --> 00:28:28,067
Oh. What'd you get?

438
00:28:28,167 --> 00:28:32,037
I, uh, I shoplifted this gum,
you want a piece?

439
00:28:32,471 --> 00:28:34,406
- You stole this?
- Maybe,

440
00:28:34,506 --> 00:28:36,342
would that turn you on?

441
00:28:37,176 --> 00:28:38,610
I mean, that's why you're
with Trey, right,

442
00:28:38,712 --> 00:28:39,945
you like criminals.

443
00:28:40,312 --> 00:28:41,180
No.

444
00:28:42,181 --> 00:28:44,049
Huh. I just figured it
probably made you wet

445
00:28:44,149 --> 00:28:45,250
every time he talks about juvie.

446
00:28:45,351 --> 00:28:47,186
Ew.

447
00:28:49,054 --> 00:28:51,323
He's 18 now, so no more juvie.

448
00:28:51,423 --> 00:28:53,158
You know that's
so statutory right?

449
00:28:53,258 --> 00:28:54,893
- Shut up!
- I'm just saying.

450
00:28:58,130 --> 00:29:00,532
- So why him?
- Why not?

451
00:29:01,133 --> 00:29:02,368
Because he's a complete tool.

452
00:29:02,468 --> 00:29:04,570
- You're a tool!
- Good one.

453
00:29:05,471 --> 00:29:06,972
Why do you think he's a tool?

454
00:29:07,506 --> 00:29:08,907
Where do I even start?

455
00:29:10,008 --> 00:29:12,544
Jimmy Stam told me his real name
is Edward Davis III.

456
00:29:12,645 --> 00:29:14,647
He just calls himself
Trey to sound black.

457
00:29:15,247 --> 00:29:18,517
He acts like he's all hood and
gangster, he's country as shit.

458
00:29:18,617 --> 00:29:21,620
His dad's
the fishing warden, real hood.

459
00:29:23,255 --> 00:29:25,290
And plus isn't he
supposed to be a senior?

460
00:29:25,391 --> 00:29:27,226
He's failed
three years in a row.

461
00:29:28,327 --> 00:29:31,430
He's a liar, he's an asshole
and he's a scumbag.

462
00:29:31,964 --> 00:29:33,532
I bet he's cheating
on you right now.

463
00:29:34,299 --> 00:29:36,435
People like him need
to be put in their place.

464
00:29:38,237 --> 00:29:41,073
Okay, psycho, let's go.

465
00:29:41,173 --> 00:29:43,342
- Where are we going?
- Madison Fatchek's house.

466
00:29:43,442 --> 00:29:46,378
- Okey dokey, pretty lady.
- You're such a dork.

467
00:30:14,473 --> 00:30:16,108
Oh, look at these losers.

468
00:30:16,208 --> 00:30:18,177
Isn't that Trey's little slut?

469
00:30:18,678 --> 00:30:20,579
Hey, watch this.

470
00:30:27,252 --> 00:30:28,153
Fags!

471
00:30:32,558 --> 00:30:33,959
Assholes.

472
00:30:34,359 --> 00:30:36,195
I think those were Trey's friends.

473
00:30:46,405 --> 00:30:48,507
- That's his whip, right?
- Yeah.

474
00:30:49,408 --> 00:30:50,643
He probably stole it.

475
00:31:14,500 --> 00:31:15,702
I told you so.

476
00:31:15,802 --> 00:31:17,069
He's just smoking some weed,

477
00:31:17,169 --> 00:31:18,270
it isn't even
that big of a deal.

478
00:31:41,794 --> 00:31:43,028
Oh, snap!

479
00:31:43,630 --> 00:31:45,030
- Busted.
- Oh.

480
00:31:46,532 --> 00:31:47,634
Seriously?

481
00:31:50,737 --> 00:31:52,170
Let's go!

482
00:31:57,175 --> 00:31:59,478
Sophia,
it's not what it looks like!

483
00:31:59,578 --> 00:32:00,813
You lied to me!

484
00:32:00,914 --> 00:32:03,081
I'm sorry, shawty,
my head's all messed up,

485
00:32:03,181 --> 00:32:04,416
I don't even know
what's going on.

486
00:32:04,516 --> 00:32:05,617
Let that bitch go, Trey.

487
00:32:05,718 --> 00:32:07,553
Who you calling a bitch, skank?

488
00:32:07,654 --> 00:32:09,756
Tell her you're with
a real woman now.

489
00:32:09,856 --> 00:32:11,156
Shut up, skank.

490
00:32:12,157 --> 00:32:13,258
Sophia.

491
00:32:13,693 --> 00:32:16,061
Okay, hoe, you gots to go.

492
00:32:16,161 --> 00:32:18,430
I'm about to pop you
like a cherry on prom night.

493
00:32:24,202 --> 00:32:25,203
Whoa!

494
00:32:31,711 --> 00:32:34,313
Damn!

495
00:32:34,413 --> 00:32:36,849
Oh.

496
00:32:38,317 --> 00:32:40,853
- Are you getting that?
- Yep.

497
00:32:42,287 --> 00:32:43,155
Oh, man.

498
00:32:58,503 --> 00:33:00,472
- All right.
- Hell yeah!

499
00:33:09,247 --> 00:33:10,783
Are you going to
help me up or what?

500
00:33:12,484 --> 00:33:13,686
Hey, give me my shirt back.

501
00:33:16,956 --> 00:33:18,323
Sophia, wait!

502
00:33:22,829 --> 00:33:24,396
What are you looking at?

503
00:33:24,496 --> 00:33:27,867
This one's going on YouTube!

504
00:33:52,324 --> 00:33:54,593
- You okay?
- No.

505
00:33:55,327 --> 00:33:57,462
Well, look,
my offer still stands,

506
00:33:57,562 --> 00:33:59,598
nothing's better for a heartache
than a horror movie,

507
00:33:59,699 --> 00:34:02,200
a bottle of 151 and some
Sprite to chase it down.

508
00:34:02,802 --> 00:34:05,437
There's actually this flick
called, <i>Silent Night, Deadly Night</i>

509
00:34:05,537 --> 00:34:07,239
- about a deranged...
- I can't.

510
00:34:07,774 --> 00:34:09,207
Well, if Santa's not your thing,

511
00:34:09,307 --> 00:34:10,810
there's always
<i>Killer Klowns from Outer Space.</i>

512
00:34:10,910 --> 00:34:12,611
No, I can't come over.

513
00:34:13,980 --> 00:34:15,648
Don't tell me
it's because of Trey,

514
00:34:15,748 --> 00:34:17,850
he's cheating on you,
you saw it with your own eyes.

515
00:34:18,785 --> 00:34:20,753
There's two types
of men in this world,

516
00:34:20,853 --> 00:34:22,287
and he's neither of them.

517
00:34:23,723 --> 00:34:28,293
You're smart, you're fun, you're
beautiful, you're perfect.

518
00:34:29,729 --> 00:34:30,663
Stop.

519
00:34:31,898 --> 00:34:32,765
What?

520
00:34:33,933 --> 00:34:34,934
I'm...

521
00:34:35,902 --> 00:34:37,637
Let me guess, you're
still in love with him?

522
00:34:38,336 --> 00:34:39,438
I give up.

523
00:34:39,906 --> 00:34:41,206
Noah.

524
00:34:42,842 --> 00:34:44,409
I'm pregnant!

525
00:34:45,645 --> 00:34:46,846
With his?

526
00:34:49,816 --> 00:34:51,651
I guess I was wrong
about you, Sophia,

527
00:34:51,751 --> 00:34:53,351
you're not
as smart as I thought.

528
00:34:54,519 --> 00:34:55,387
Good luck.

529
00:34:56,189 --> 00:34:57,757
- What?
- You're going to need it.

530
00:35:02,995 --> 00:35:04,897
He spit on us!

531
00:35:24,951 --> 00:35:26,251
What's wrong with you?

532
00:35:43,568 --> 00:35:45,403
Hey.

533
00:35:46,873 --> 00:35:48,340
You all right?

534
00:35:49,108 --> 00:35:51,476
You need to talk?

535
00:35:51,978 --> 00:35:53,478
Is this about that white boy

536
00:35:53,578 --> 00:35:55,047
that thinks of himself
as a brother?

537
00:35:55,882 --> 00:35:57,616
You just let me know,

538
00:35:57,717 --> 00:36:00,418
I've been waiting months to slap
the black out of his mouth.

539
00:36:01,654 --> 00:36:04,523
Or if it's a womanly issue,

540
00:36:05,057 --> 00:36:07,026
your mom
won't be back for awhile,

541
00:36:07,126 --> 00:36:08,795
but you can always
go to your Grandma's.

542
00:36:09,528 --> 00:36:12,531
- Just go away!
- Okay.

543
00:36:12,632 --> 00:36:15,001
I'm just trying to help, God.

544
00:36:22,108 --> 00:36:24,309
How long you going to be in there?

545
00:36:25,577 --> 00:36:27,512
I got to take a shit!

546
00:37:05,584 --> 00:37:07,619
- Get off my porch.
- Grandpa.

547
00:37:08,020 --> 00:37:11,123
- I will shoot.
- Grandpa, it's me, Sophia.

548
00:37:11,657 --> 00:37:13,693
- Who?
- Your granddaughter!

549
00:37:14,559 --> 00:37:16,762
Oh, yeah.

550
00:37:16,863 --> 00:37:19,765
- Come on in, sweetie pie.
- Okay.

551
00:37:43,923 --> 00:37:46,458
Go on, take a seat, sit down.

552
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:49,461
What happened to your eye?

553
00:37:52,564 --> 00:37:55,400
- What's that?
- Your eye, what happened?

554
00:37:55,735 --> 00:37:58,436
That ain't nothing, I'm fine.

555
00:38:12,517 --> 00:38:14,486
I'm sorry, where are my manners,

556
00:38:14,586 --> 00:38:17,622
would you like something
to drink some milk or pop?

557
00:38:17,924 --> 00:38:19,025
No, thanks.

558
00:38:19,659 --> 00:38:21,861
- You want to cookie?
- No, I'm good.

559
00:38:21,961 --> 00:38:23,029
Well, suit yourself.

560
00:38:27,233 --> 00:38:28,134
Where's Grandma at?

561
00:38:50,156 --> 00:38:51,791
We just don't want
any trouble here, ma'am.

562
00:39:03,769 --> 00:39:06,172
- You worthless piece of garbage!
- Hey!

563
00:39:06,272 --> 00:39:09,709
- Ow!
- Settle down.

564
00:39:11,210 --> 00:39:14,180
Okay, that was against the law.

565
00:39:22,755 --> 00:39:24,790
Oh, who gives a shit.

566
00:39:24,890 --> 00:39:26,624
I was just hoping
to talk to her.

567
00:39:27,026 --> 00:39:29,494
Why, you have
a bad day at school?

568
00:39:29,962 --> 00:39:32,231
Oh, there's no school today,
it's Christmas Eve.

569
00:39:32,898 --> 00:39:34,033
Oh, yeah.

570
00:39:35,234 --> 00:39:37,569
I knew that.

571
00:39:38,871 --> 00:39:40,572
Can I ask you
a question, Grandpa?

572
00:39:41,774 --> 00:39:43,242
Shoot, kiddo.

573
00:39:43,943 --> 00:39:46,078
Why did you and Grandma
stop after Mom came along?

574
00:39:46,912 --> 00:39:49,048
Like, why didn't you guys
have any more kids?

575
00:39:56,088 --> 00:39:58,090
- We did.
- What?

576
00:39:59,591 --> 00:40:00,659
Your mama...

577
00:40:02,328 --> 00:40:04,296
she was actually
our second child.

578
00:40:05,798 --> 00:40:08,768
She's got an older sister
out there somewhere.

579
00:40:09,735 --> 00:40:10,736
What?

580
00:40:13,939 --> 00:40:14,974
You know what,

581
00:40:15,975 --> 00:40:18,144
your grandma would fry
my balls for breakfast

582
00:40:18,244 --> 00:40:21,947
if she knew I was going to tell you
this, but guess what, kiddy...

583
00:40:23,382 --> 00:40:25,651
want you get to my age
you start passing secrets

584
00:40:25,751 --> 00:40:27,619
like you pass gas.

585
00:40:27,720 --> 00:40:29,155
Oh, Grandpa.

586
00:40:30,890 --> 00:40:32,825
It's milk.

587
00:40:33,625 --> 00:40:34,827
So what happened to her?

588
00:40:37,029 --> 00:40:39,331
- Who's that?
- Mom's sister.

589
00:40:44,103 --> 00:40:45,971
You know that story about how

590
00:40:46,072 --> 00:40:47,940
me and your Grandma met,
don't you?

591
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:50,109
Yeah, at a Cleveland Indians
game, right?

592
00:40:50,209 --> 00:40:53,813
We didn't meet
at no Indians game,

593
00:40:53,913 --> 00:40:55,981
that was just a,
just a bunch of hog wash

594
00:40:56,082 --> 00:40:57,615
your grandma told everyone.

595
00:40:58,350 --> 00:41:01,053
Christ, we, we met at a church.

596
00:41:01,153 --> 00:41:03,022
You and Grandma went to church?

597
00:41:03,122 --> 00:41:06,225
Hell yes,
we went in to church.

598
00:41:08,327 --> 00:41:11,931
That was damn near 50 years ago.

599
00:41:17,670 --> 00:41:21,073
<i>You see your grandma
was real religious back then.</i>

600
00:41:22,374 --> 00:41:25,010
<i>I attended
on a regular basis, though</i>

601
00:41:25,111 --> 00:41:27,780
<i>I wasn't much
for the singing and dancing</i>

602
00:41:28,681 --> 00:41:29,782
<i>till I met her.</i>

603
00:41:30,916 --> 00:41:35,121
<i>From that moment on
there was no getting between us.</i>

604
00:41:39,825 --> 00:41:41,026
Good Lord!

605
00:41:41,127 --> 00:41:45,831
Oh, my God, oh, oh,
oh, my God, oh, oh,

606
00:41:45,931 --> 00:41:49,168
amen, oh, amen, oh, my God!

607
00:41:50,102 --> 00:41:51,804
Long story short...

608
00:41:53,439 --> 00:41:54,707
I put a bun in her over.

609
00:41:56,041 --> 00:41:59,745
And after a few months,
that baby girl was upon us.

610
00:42:02,348 --> 00:42:04,250
So we put her up for adoption.

611
00:42:05,050 --> 00:42:06,051
Why?

612
00:42:06,152 --> 00:42:08,320
Well, I didn't have a job,

613
00:42:08,420 --> 00:42:11,090
we had no way
to support her and it's...

614
00:42:13,192 --> 00:42:16,262
sometimes life only gives you
one choice in the moment.

615
00:42:18,164 --> 00:42:20,699
I always hoped that
she had a good life,

616
00:42:20,799 --> 00:42:22,868
she, she found a good family

617
00:42:22,968 --> 00:42:25,404
that loved her
and took care of her.

618
00:42:28,307 --> 00:42:30,976
Anyway, Grandma and me,
we moved on.

619
00:42:32,912 --> 00:42:36,015
After a few years,
I got a job at the mill.

620
00:42:36,415 --> 00:42:39,885
We built a house
and we started trying again.

621
00:42:40,486 --> 00:42:42,254
That's when your mama came along

622
00:42:42,354 --> 00:42:45,824
and believe me, with all the
spit and vinegar in her veins,

623
00:42:46,292 --> 00:42:48,861
one was enough.

624
00:42:48,961 --> 00:42:49,795
Wow.

625
00:42:50,396 --> 00:42:51,463
Yeah.

626
00:42:52,698 --> 00:42:56,335
Funny thing is we, we ain't
never been back to church since.

627
00:42:57,469 --> 00:43:00,239
So I bought myself
a wedding coat

628
00:43:00,339 --> 00:43:02,241
and I met her at the courthouse.

629
00:43:03,876 --> 00:43:06,011
- And that was that.
- Yeah.

630
00:43:07,046 --> 00:43:09,481
And that, sweetie pie, was that.

631
00:43:12,051 --> 00:43:15,321
Son of a bitch,
what time is it?

632
00:43:15,421 --> 00:43:17,223
Uh, it's a quarter past eight.

633
00:43:17,323 --> 00:43:19,358
Yeah, I forgot to take
my cholesterol pills.

634
00:43:23,896 --> 00:43:25,798
Are you sure I can't get
you something to eat?

635
00:43:26,198 --> 00:43:29,101
No, thanks, Grandpa, I haven't had
much of an appetite today anyway.

636
00:43:29,568 --> 00:43:30,970
Plus, I got to get going.

637
00:43:33,339 --> 00:43:34,306
Bye, Grandpa.

638
00:43:39,979 --> 00:43:41,347
Hey, tell Grandma I said hi.

639
00:43:42,047 --> 00:43:42,948
Okay.

640
00:43:43,849 --> 00:43:44,516
Bye!

641
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,956
Yeah, Grandma.

642
00:43:51,056 --> 00:43:55,995
<i>♪ Silent night ♪</i>

643
00:43:56,095 --> 00:44:01,200
<i>♪ Holy night ♪</i>

644
00:44:01,300 --> 00:44:06,405
<i>♪ All is calm ♪</i>

645
00:44:06,505 --> 00:44:11,176
<i>♪ All is bright ♪</i>

646
00:44:11,944 --> 00:44:16,215
<i>♪ Round young virgin ♪</i>

647
00:44:16,315 --> 00:44:19,151
What a crock of shit.

648
00:44:19,585 --> 00:44:23,389
You really think
she was a virgin?

649
00:44:24,356 --> 00:44:27,126
You think anyone around here
would believe me

650
00:44:27,226 --> 00:44:30,562
if I said Jesus knocked me up?

651
00:44:31,263 --> 00:44:36,168
Yeah, that's what I'll go with,
immaculate conception.

652
00:44:36,568 --> 00:44:40,039
Yep, Jesus is the one,
Jesus is the daddy,

653
00:44:40,139 --> 00:44:43,275
he knocked me up,
I'm still a virgin.

654
00:44:43,375 --> 00:44:46,045
Give me a goddamn break.

655
00:44:46,145 --> 00:44:48,580
<i>♪ Sleep in ♪</i>

656
00:44:48,682 --> 00:44:55,487
<i>♪ Heavenly peace ♪</i>

657
00:44:59,358 --> 00:45:01,160
You guys know any Tupac?

658
00:45:03,462 --> 00:45:06,432
Your brother was being a bad
boy, but if your mommy asks,

659
00:45:06,532 --> 00:45:09,301
he fell down when you were
playing tag, you understand?

660
00:45:10,569 --> 00:45:12,271
Now get up and go lay in bed.

661
00:45:15,140 --> 00:45:16,508
Bring that ass over here...

662
00:45:17,543 --> 00:45:18,410
please?

663
00:45:28,487 --> 00:45:31,857
Okay, okay, okay, I deserved
that, I deserved that.

664
00:45:33,092 --> 00:45:35,060
Look, I'm so sorry, girl.

665
00:45:35,961 --> 00:45:39,031
Have you even got my texts, I've been
blowing up the phone like a hella cray.

666
00:45:39,598 --> 00:45:41,233
I don't know what
I was thinking.

667
00:45:41,333 --> 00:45:44,103
Maybe I thought, you know,
you're on a break, or something,

668
00:45:44,203 --> 00:45:46,138
like my dick is in her mouth,

669
00:45:46,238 --> 00:45:48,440
but my heart is
in your hands, you feel me?

670
00:45:48,540 --> 00:45:50,409
- Trey, I have something to tell you.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

671
00:45:50,509 --> 00:45:52,044
Let me finish, let me finish.

672
00:45:52,679 --> 00:45:54,580
I know I made a mistake,

673
00:45:54,681 --> 00:45:58,016
but the truth is that hoe
ain't got nothing on you, girl.

674
00:45:59,686 --> 00:46:01,286
You're my one and only,

675
00:46:01,387 --> 00:46:03,288
the peanut butter
to my jelly sandwich, girl.

676
00:46:03,389 --> 00:46:05,157
- I love you.
- I'm pregnant.

677
00:46:05,257 --> 00:46:06,258
I love everything...

678
00:46:07,292 --> 00:46:09,328
Wait, what?

679
00:46:09,428 --> 00:46:10,630
You heard me.

680
00:46:10,730 --> 00:46:11,530
That shit ain't mine.

681
00:46:12,398 --> 00:46:13,899
I know that shit
for reals ain't mine.

682
00:46:13,999 --> 00:46:16,235
- Who's do you think it is?
- I don't know,

683
00:46:16,335 --> 00:46:18,103
maybe it's that one kid
you've been hanging with.

684
00:46:18,203 --> 00:46:19,571
What's his name, Noah Vanhomo?

685
00:46:19,672 --> 00:46:21,540
- No.
- I see the way he look at you.

686
00:46:22,274 --> 00:46:23,375
- He hit that, huh?
- No.

687
00:46:23,475 --> 00:46:25,010
- I know he hit that.
- Trey.

688
00:46:25,110 --> 00:46:26,545
You're the only person

689
00:46:26,646 --> 00:46:27,647
I've ever been with.

690
00:46:28,782 --> 00:46:31,216
You expect me to believe that?
How dumb you think I am?

691
00:46:31,316 --> 00:46:33,653
You're about making all this up
just to try to win me back.

692
00:46:33,753 --> 00:46:35,655
- Win you back?
- Yeah.

693
00:46:35,755 --> 00:46:37,923
And you just jelly
because I moved on with my life.

694
00:46:38,023 --> 00:46:39,124
It ain't going to work.

695
00:46:39,224 --> 00:46:42,094
Trey, I'm serious,
this is your baby.

696
00:46:42,762 --> 00:46:44,430
- This our baby.
- Stop...

697
00:46:45,497 --> 00:46:46,465
saying that.

698
00:46:46,565 --> 00:46:47,667
What are we going to do?

699
00:46:47,767 --> 00:46:50,102
There is no we
in this situation.

700
00:46:50,436 --> 00:46:51,937
Is what are you going to do?

701
00:46:52,037 --> 00:46:54,506
Gee.

702
00:46:54,606 --> 00:46:55,507
Sophia!

703
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:02,682
<i>Coming up at 11,
officials are calling it</i>

704
00:47:02,782 --> 00:47:04,416
<i>an opioid epidemic.</i>

705
00:47:04,516 --> 00:47:06,653
<i>So what can parents do
to make sure their kids</i>

706
00:47:06,753 --> 00:47:08,253
<i>stay off the white horse?</i>

707
00:47:08,353 --> 00:47:10,690
<i>Plus, a string
of Christmas Eve robberies</i>

708
00:47:10,790 --> 00:47:11,825
<i>have been reported around town.</i>

709
00:47:12,692 --> 00:47:15,360
<i>So be sure to keep
the doors locked tight tonight.</i>

710
00:47:15,461 --> 00:47:17,095
<i>And full details on the charges</i>

711
00:47:17,196 --> 00:47:18,597
<i>levied at Mayor McHenry.</i>

712
00:47:18,698 --> 00:47:20,700
<i>Just how much money
is he accused of stealing</i>

713
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:22,201
<i>from the county road department?</i>

714
00:47:22,568 --> 00:47:24,970
<i>All that and more
at First Action News 11.</i>

715
00:47:26,773 --> 00:47:28,173
If either one of you's
tells on me...

716
00:47:30,576 --> 00:47:31,644
Now go to bed.

717
00:48:12,384 --> 00:48:13,318
RJ?

718
00:48:14,319 --> 00:48:15,187
Sophia?

719
00:48:39,511 --> 00:48:42,214
<i>♪ Eat a dick eat, eat, eat a dick ♪</i>

720
00:48:42,314 --> 00:48:44,349
<i>♪ Take a big old bite
or a little lick ♪</i>

721
00:48:44,751 --> 00:48:46,653
- Yeah?
- <i>Did you cook dinner?</i>

722
00:48:46,753 --> 00:48:49,288
No, I didn't cook
no damn dinner, I told you.

723
00:48:49,388 --> 00:48:52,591
- <i>Rayjon, I swear to God I bust my ass every week...</i>
- Babe.

724
00:48:52,692 --> 00:48:54,459
- <i>...working overtime then I have to come home...</i>
- Babe.

725
00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:57,162
- <i>...and cook and clean and do the dishes.</i>
- Baby.

726
00:48:57,262 --> 00:48:59,666
- <i>All while you sit on your lazy ass.</i>
- Bitch, relax!

727
00:48:59,766 --> 00:49:02,200
- I'll pick something up.
- <i>What did you call me?</i>

728
00:49:02,301 --> 00:49:04,771
- Damn.
- <i>Consider this your New Year's resolution,</i>

729
00:49:04,871 --> 00:49:06,639
<i>either you get a job
and get your shit together...</i>

730
00:49:06,739 --> 00:49:08,373
Oops, lost you.

731
00:49:17,616 --> 00:49:20,720
Thanks again for watching them. I am so
surprised that they're asleep already.

732
00:49:20,820 --> 00:49:22,621
They're great kids, really.

733
00:49:24,791 --> 00:49:26,425
They're a little
rough though, like I said,

734
00:49:26,525 --> 00:49:27,794
one minute
they're playing tag then

735
00:49:27,894 --> 00:49:30,095
all of a sudden it became
a full blown fist fight.

736
00:49:30,429 --> 00:49:32,632
What? Dear lord.

737
00:49:32,732 --> 00:49:35,702
Don't worry, I put an end
to that real quick.

738
00:49:35,802 --> 00:49:38,537
Here, take this,
thank you so much.

739
00:49:38,638 --> 00:49:40,238
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

740
00:49:59,558 --> 00:50:00,492
Sup?

741
00:50:01,426 --> 00:50:04,162
Going to get some food,
you want anything?

742
00:50:04,262 --> 00:50:06,431
- Yeah, where you going?
- Doghouse.

743
00:50:06,833 --> 00:50:10,202
Um, strawberry milkshake.

744
00:50:11,603 --> 00:50:14,473
- Boy, you into some fruity shit, huh?
- You all right to drive?

745
00:50:14,573 --> 00:50:17,309
Don't come at me
like that strawberry shake.

746
00:50:17,677 --> 00:50:18,711
I'm fine.

747
00:50:20,913 --> 00:50:22,649
How much scoobs was given
you for watching them brats?

748
00:50:23,448 --> 00:50:24,516
Thirty bucks.

749
00:50:25,752 --> 00:50:26,719
Seriously?

750
00:50:27,586 --> 00:50:29,388
You want that milkshake or not?

751
00:50:29,922 --> 00:50:31,490
Milkshakes don't cost 30 bucks.

752
00:50:31,958 --> 00:50:33,392
The ones at Doghouse do.

753
00:50:34,393 --> 00:50:38,363
Here, but I keep the rest,
because it's my house,

754
00:50:38,798 --> 00:50:40,198
and it's my rules.

755
00:50:41,768 --> 00:50:45,672
Cheer up, son, you're only
got three or four more years

756
00:50:46,605 --> 00:50:48,941
then you're ass
enlist in the Marines,

757
00:50:49,042 --> 00:50:50,810
then you're Uncle Sam's problem.

758
00:50:52,712 --> 00:50:53,913
Come on, man, put them up.

759
00:50:54,013 --> 00:50:56,448
Come on, boy,
put them up, put them up.

760
00:50:56,983 --> 00:51:00,218
What's you going
to do now, sucker?

761
00:51:06,625 --> 00:51:08,560
Please pick up, Noah.

762
00:51:09,629 --> 00:51:11,731
<i>Under two minutes to
go on the ninth annual achievements</i>

763
00:51:11,831 --> 00:51:13,432
<i>high efficiency toilet bowl.</i>

764
00:51:13,532 --> 00:51:15,434
<i>The Penguins look
sluggish all day but had to</i>

765
00:51:15,534 --> 00:51:18,270
<i>get another turnover
by the Grasshoppers offense.</i>

766
00:51:20,039 --> 00:51:21,674
<i>...from a colossal upset here.</i>

767
00:51:21,774 --> 00:51:23,508
<i>I haven't seen
anything this sloppy</i>

768
00:51:23,608 --> 00:51:25,945
<i>since I walked in on my wife
with a special teams unit.</i>

769
00:51:26,045 --> 00:51:27,847
<i>Whoa, buddy, whoa,</i>

770
00:51:27,947 --> 00:51:31,349
<i>save that one for the post</i>
<i>game show, huh?</i>

771
00:51:31,450 --> 00:51:34,219
<i>♪ I'm just chilling
with my crew thinking of ways ♪</i>

772
00:51:34,319 --> 00:51:35,755
<i>♪ To get them dollars
I'm just... ♪</i>

773
00:51:35,855 --> 00:51:37,456
<i>We'll be right back with more</i>

774
00:51:37,556 --> 00:51:39,158
<i>from the Hughes High
Efficiency Toilet Bowl</i>

775
00:51:39,892 --> 00:51:42,627
- <i>brought to you by...</i>
- <i>Have you heard about the mayor, folks?</i>

776
00:51:42,729 --> 00:51:44,697
<i>Yeah, this guy's
a real piece of work.</i>

777
00:51:44,797 --> 00:51:46,331
<i>I am sick and tired...</i>

778
00:51:46,431 --> 00:51:47,767
<i>♪ I did something crazy ♪</i>

779
00:51:47,867 --> 00:51:50,002
<i>♪ And I won't
remember it tomorrow ♪</i>

780
00:51:55,540 --> 00:51:59,979
Don't be cocking me, fool,
I go 187, blah, blah, blah.

781
00:52:02,915 --> 00:52:04,549
<i>If you've
been living under a rock</i>

782
00:52:04,650 --> 00:52:06,018
<i>and you have not heard by now,</i>

783
00:52:06,119 --> 00:52:08,688
<i>the mayor
of our wonderful little town</i>

784
00:52:08,788 --> 00:52:10,489
<i>was arrested this morning.</i>

785
00:52:10,589 --> 00:52:11,991
<i>That's right, folks,
I'm going to say it again.</i>

786
00:52:12,091 --> 00:52:13,760
<i>The mayor arrested</i>

787
00:52:13,860 --> 00:52:15,928
<i>on freaking
Christmas Eve of all days.</i>

788
00:52:16,028 --> 00:52:18,430
<i>Looks like he's getting
a lump of coal in his stocking.</i>

789
00:52:18,530 --> 00:52:20,499
<i>I'd like to slap him
upside the head with it.</i>

790
00:52:20,599 --> 00:52:22,802
<i>They said he took hundreds
of thousands of dollars</i>

791
00:52:22,902 --> 00:52:24,402
<i>from the road department.</i>

792
00:52:24,503 --> 00:52:25,905
<i>Yeah, those same
busted ass roads</i>

793
00:52:26,005 --> 00:52:27,372
<i>you're probably
driving on right now</i>

794
00:52:27,472 --> 00:52:28,674
<i>with the three foot
craters in them.</i>

795
00:52:28,775 --> 00:52:30,509
<i>These roads we supposedly</i>

796
00:52:30,609 --> 00:52:32,377
<i>paid for with our taxes.</i>

797
00:52:32,477 --> 00:52:34,947
<i>This degenerate thought
he could get away with it, ha.</i>

798
00:52:35,047 --> 00:52:39,986
Walk in, Trey Trey,
man up, take responsibility.

799
00:52:41,586 --> 00:52:44,690
Let's go, Trey Trey, let's go!

800
00:52:58,037 --> 00:52:59,038
Let's go.

801
00:53:40,646 --> 00:53:42,815
<i>Nightly Talk Radio is
sponsored by Shark Power Washing,</i>

802
00:53:42,915 --> 00:53:44,884
<i>that's the real Sharp Power
Washing, got a dirty deck,</i>

803
00:53:44,984 --> 00:53:46,953
<i>call Sharp Power Washing,
big or small, light or dark,</i>

804
00:53:47,053 --> 00:53:49,021
<i>they'll make your deck look
cleaner, whiter, girthier.</i>

805
00:53:49,121 --> 00:53:50,957
<i>The whole neighborhood will be
talking about your sharp deck.</i>

806
00:53:51,057 --> 00:53:53,458
<i>Sharp Power Washing remember,
the other guys might power wash</i>

807
00:53:53,558 --> 00:53:54,559
<i>but they ain't real sharp.</i>

808
00:54:04,737 --> 00:54:06,138
Soph, it's me.

809
00:54:10,877 --> 00:54:12,645
I'm sorry
for what I said, shawty.

810
00:54:15,214 --> 00:54:18,017
Look, I'll help you
find a doctor,

811
00:54:18,117 --> 00:54:19,517
I'll even pay for it.

812
00:54:20,119 --> 00:54:21,787
Just please open the door.

813
00:54:28,194 --> 00:54:34,399
Sophia, you should be with me-a!

814
00:54:34,700 --> 00:54:40,605
But you're a fool to be tool.

815
00:54:43,743 --> 00:54:45,577
<i>This is it,
the clock is ticking</i>

816
00:54:45,678 --> 00:54:47,179
<i>and the game's on the line.</i>

817
00:54:48,681 --> 00:54:50,816
<i>So if you have something to say</i>

818
00:54:50,917 --> 00:54:53,019
<i>about the mayor, I'd like to hear it.</i>

819
00:54:53,119 --> 00:54:55,121
- Oh, man. Yeah.
- <i>We're going to open up the phone lines right now.</i>

820
00:54:55,221 --> 00:54:57,156
<i>300-888-72...</i>

821
00:54:57,256 --> 00:55:00,960
<i>On their feet,
it's all up to Noah Vanmeter now</i>

822
00:55:01,060 --> 00:55:03,829
<i>but I don't know, Chip,
he looks kind of drunk.</i>

823
00:55:03,930 --> 00:55:06,065
- <i>Noah, Noah, Noah!</i>
- <i>There's the snap.</i>

824
00:55:07,033 --> 00:55:09,035
<i>The kick is up and it's...</i>

825
00:55:09,135 --> 00:55:12,071
- <i>Noah, Noah, Noah, Noah!</i>
- It's good!

826
00:55:12,171 --> 00:55:14,572
<i>With these stinking
politicians is crooked...</i>

827
00:55:14,674 --> 00:55:17,176
<i>Noah, Noah,
Noah, Noah, Noah!</i>

828
00:55:17,944 --> 00:55:18,811
<i>Shoe's untied.</i>

829
00:55:19,278 --> 00:55:20,880
Better double knot it.

830
00:55:22,214 --> 00:55:23,649
<i>888-70...</i>

831
00:55:24,616 --> 00:55:25,985
There.

832
00:55:26,085 --> 00:55:28,688
Jesus!

833
00:55:29,587 --> 00:55:31,190
These damn potholes.

834
00:55:32,557 --> 00:55:33,926
I ain't going to tax
my unemployment

835
00:55:34,026 --> 00:55:37,495
when they fix the damn roads,
corrupt mother...

836
00:55:42,835 --> 00:55:44,003
Mommy.

837
00:56:09,829 --> 00:56:13,032
What the hell, he don't
even look nothing like me.

838
00:56:14,667 --> 00:56:16,836
What, take that, Santa.

839
00:56:58,944 --> 00:57:02,614
<i>I hope you meet a nice
big fellow behind bars, Mr. Mayor,</i>

840
00:57:02,715 --> 00:57:05,317
<i>a big old bubba who makes
a pothole out of your behind.</i>

841
00:57:05,418 --> 00:57:06,752
<i>Pay that, pal.</i>

842
00:57:07,887 --> 00:57:09,688
<i>Settle down.
Would you like to</i>

843
00:57:09,789 --> 00:57:11,757
<i>try our new
Chihuahua sirachi burger?</i>

844
00:57:11,857 --> 00:57:15,593
Um, yeah, give me one of those,

845
00:57:16,195 --> 00:57:17,797
a hound dog,

846
00:57:18,664 --> 00:57:22,134
a Yorkie and, um...

847
00:57:24,670 --> 00:57:25,971
two golden retrievers.

848
00:57:27,406 --> 00:57:28,674
<i>Anything else?</i>

849
00:57:29,141 --> 00:57:30,743
A strawberry shake.

850
00:57:30,843 --> 00:57:32,945
<i>A strawberry shake. Is that all?</i>

851
00:57:33,779 --> 00:57:35,347
Give me some extra fries too.

852
00:57:35,948 --> 00:57:38,884
<i>Okay, your total is $17.79.</i>

853
00:57:39,385 --> 00:57:42,988
I'll tell you what...
lose the extra fries.

854
00:57:53,232 --> 00:57:56,635
Whoa, damn,
girl, you packing now?

855
00:57:56,735 --> 00:57:59,805
That's that
Dirty Harry shit, damn.

856
00:57:59,905 --> 00:58:02,675
Oh, oh, oh, okay,
okay, okay, Soph.

857
00:58:03,776 --> 00:58:04,743
You don't have to do this.

858
00:58:17,189 --> 00:58:19,358
- Where's your dad?
- He went to get food.

859
00:58:20,025 --> 00:58:20,893
Son of a...

860
00:58:24,296 --> 00:58:25,364
21 cents.

861
00:58:27,066 --> 00:58:28,367
Holy balls!

862
00:58:29,201 --> 00:58:30,202
What?

863
00:58:39,912 --> 00:58:41,280
- Where's Sophia?
- I don't know.

864
00:58:44,150 --> 00:58:46,185
You're not alone, I'm here.

865
00:58:46,886 --> 00:58:48,254
We could do whatever you want.

866
00:58:48,354 --> 00:58:50,756
Just put the gun down.

867
00:58:58,330 --> 00:58:59,665
I think Dad's home.

868
00:59:00,166 --> 00:59:02,034
Turn it off, time to eat.

869
00:59:06,138 --> 00:59:08,674
<i>Welcome back to
First Action News at 11.</i>

870
00:59:09,408 --> 00:59:12,178
Oh, shit.

871
00:59:17,416 --> 00:59:20,119
Rayjon?

872
00:59:23,022 --> 00:59:24,857
- I'm so sorry.
- Are you drunk?

873
00:59:24,957 --> 00:59:26,392
I'm so sorry!

874
00:59:26,492 --> 00:59:27,960
Sorry for what?

875
00:59:31,063 --> 00:59:32,398
What did you do?

876
00:59:37,436 --> 00:59:38,704
Answer it.

877
00:59:42,041 --> 00:59:43,042
It's nobody.

878
00:59:45,377 --> 00:59:47,246
Get on your knees,
show me your hands!

879
00:59:48,581 --> 00:59:50,015
Hey, I said on your knees!

880
00:59:50,115 --> 00:59:52,017
Hey, freeze, freeze!

881
00:59:52,117 --> 00:59:53,452
We got a runner.

882
00:59:54,353 --> 00:59:55,487
Freeze, hey!

883
00:59:57,256 --> 00:59:58,991
Right in the fucking knee!

884
00:59:59,258 --> 01:00:00,426
Kid, hey!

885
01:00:04,096 --> 01:00:07,399
Kid, freaking golf clubs. Oh!

886
01:00:08,167 --> 01:00:09,034
Come on.

887
01:00:10,369 --> 01:00:11,437
Get off of me.

888
01:00:13,172 --> 01:00:15,441
Hey, dispatch, what was
the make on that 1022?

889
01:00:18,310 --> 01:00:19,745
Please forgive me!

890
01:00:19,845 --> 01:00:22,848
Somebody tell me
what the hell's going on!

891
01:00:26,418 --> 01:00:28,053
Do it now!

892
01:00:31,590 --> 01:00:32,858
On speaker.

893
01:00:37,029 --> 01:00:39,498
<i>Hey, sexy,
did you dump that hoe yet or what?</i>

894
01:00:39,598 --> 01:00:41,033
Oh!

895
01:00:41,133 --> 01:00:42,034
Huh?

896
01:00:42,134 --> 01:00:43,969
What was that?

897
01:00:44,970 --> 01:00:46,071
I need backup.

898
01:00:49,408 --> 01:00:51,176
You shot me!

899
01:00:51,877 --> 01:00:53,879
You shot me in the dick!

900
01:00:54,413 --> 01:00:58,083
<i>Dear God, Lord,
your highness, whatever,</i>

901
01:00:58,183 --> 01:01:00,919
<i>it's me again,
Sophia Nefantarter.</i>

902
01:01:01,020 --> 01:01:02,354
Oh, my winkie!

903
01:01:03,088 --> 01:01:06,292
<i>Thank you,
thank you for this gift.</i>

904
01:01:06,625 --> 01:01:08,027
<i>The gift of life.</i>

905
01:01:08,560 --> 01:01:10,329
<i>I ask for your forgiveness</i>

906
01:01:10,929 --> 01:01:12,931
<i>for all the bad shit
that I've done,</i>

907
01:01:13,332 --> 01:01:15,367
<i>for all the bad shit
my family's done.</i>

908
01:01:16,969 --> 01:01:19,071
<i>Please forgive us.</i>

909
01:01:22,141 --> 01:01:24,143
<i>And please, God...</i>

910
01:01:25,944 --> 01:01:27,279
<i>more than anything else...</i>

911
01:01:29,982 --> 01:01:31,917
<i>don't let them
take my baby away.</i>

912
01:01:34,053 --> 01:01:36,522
<i>Don't let anyone
take my baby away.</i>

913
01:01:39,591 --> 01:01:42,094
<i>♪ All I want
for Christmas, yeah ♪</i>

914
01:01:42,594 --> 01:01:44,263
<i>♪ I said, all I want
for Christmas ♪</i>

915
01:01:44,363 --> 01:01:46,031
<i>♪ Yeah, yeah ♪</i>

916
01:01:46,532 --> 01:01:49,034
- <i>♪ All I want for Christmas yeah, yeah ♪</i>
- Whoa.

917
01:01:50,936 --> 01:01:54,273
<i>♪ All I want for Christmas
is two bad bitches ♪</i>

918
01:01:54,373 --> 01:01:57,543
<i>♪ A big bag of weed
and a Charger on six's ♪</i>

919
01:01:57,644 --> 01:02:01,046
<i>♪ A fresh pair of jeans and a brand new birdie ♪</i>

920
01:02:01,146 --> 01:02:03,115
<i>♪ If I don't get
everything on my list ♪</i>

921
01:02:03,215 --> 01:02:05,050
<i>♪ Santa's getting
murdered, murdered ♪</i>

922
01:02:05,150 --> 01:02:08,120
<i>♪ All I want for Christmas
is two bad bitches ♪</i>

923
01:02:08,220 --> 01:02:11,523
<i>♪ A big bag of weed
and a Charger on six's ♪</i>

924
01:02:11,623 --> 01:02:14,960
<i>♪ A fresh pair of jeans
and a brand new birdie ♪</i>

925
01:02:15,060 --> 01:02:17,196
<i>♪ If I don't get
everything on my list ♪</i>

926
01:02:17,296 --> 01:02:19,231
<i>♪ Santa's getting
murdered, murdered ♪</i>

927
01:02:19,331 --> 01:02:22,501
<i>♪ I'm a the studio
with your bitch on the low ♪</i>

928
01:02:22,601 --> 01:02:26,071
<i>♪ Get your winter coats because
I'm about to make it snow ♪</i>

929
01:02:26,171 --> 01:02:30,342
<i>♪ I saw mama kissing Santa
Clause underneath the mistletoe ♪</i>

930
01:02:30,442 --> 01:02:32,044
<i>♪ So I called that bitch a hoe ♪</i>

931
01:02:32,144 --> 01:02:35,114
<i>Breaking news now coming
to us from KB's Doghouse</i>

932
01:02:35,214 --> 01:02:36,649
<i>on state route 12.</i>

933
01:02:36,750 --> 01:02:39,118
<i>For more we go to Guy Sanders
live on location.</i>

934
01:02:39,218 --> 01:02:40,519
<i>Guy, what can you tell us?</i>

935
01:02:41,086 --> 01:02:43,622
Well, Todd, state highway patrol
are now investigating

936
01:02:43,723 --> 01:02:45,457
what seems to be
a grizzly hit and run

937
01:02:45,557 --> 01:02:48,193
which occurred sometime
before 10:46 p.m.

938
01:02:48,293 --> 01:02:49,561
When a man in a red pickup truck

939
01:02:49,662 --> 01:02:52,264
came to this drive through
to get something to eat.

940
01:02:52,364 --> 01:02:54,466
When I looked out
I couldn't believe my eyes.

941
01:02:54,734 --> 01:02:56,602
It was a bloody mess down there.

942
01:02:56,703 --> 01:02:58,537
There was blood everywhere
and an arm sticking out.

943
01:02:58,638 --> 01:03:00,205
There was a body
under that truck.

944
01:03:00,305 --> 01:03:02,040
That's when the
suspect left the scene

945
01:03:02,141 --> 01:03:04,209
as well as the victim
on the side of the road.

946
01:03:04,309 --> 01:03:07,146
It was ridiculous. I think
he gave me the thumbs up.

947
01:03:07,246 --> 01:03:08,648
Vicki and Todd back to you.

948
01:03:11,684 --> 01:03:14,386
<i>Me, oh, my, that is just...</i>

949
01:03:15,053 --> 01:03:16,188
<i>bizarre.</i>

950
01:03:16,756 --> 01:03:18,090
- <i>Yeah.</i>
- <i>You know?</i>

951
01:03:19,158 --> 01:03:22,528
<i>Todd, that's the perfect word
to encapsulate</i>

952
01:03:22,628 --> 01:03:26,699
<i>how I feel about that...
bizarre story.</i>

953
01:03:27,533 --> 01:03:29,601
- <i>Thank you, Guy.</i>
- <i>Gruesome.</i>

954
01:03:30,169 --> 01:03:33,071
<i>In other local news,
community church preschoolers</i>

955
01:03:33,172 --> 01:03:36,241
<i>took a field trip to the
metropark's farm this morning.</i>

956
01:03:36,341 --> 01:03:38,577
<i>But you're never going to guess
what the children learned</i>

957
01:03:38,678 --> 01:03:40,713
<i>about this squirrel's nuts.</i>

958
01:03:40,814 --> 01:03:44,450
<i>♪ No presents for Christmas
for us when we was growing up ♪</i>

959
01:03:44,550 --> 01:03:48,220
<i>♪ We don't celebrate holidays
on the block we posted up ♪</i>

960
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:50,122
<i>♪ They stuck them stuck them
stuck them back of the head ♪</i>

961
01:03:50,222 --> 01:03:51,423
<i>♪ Because they got no dough ♪</i>

962
01:03:51,523 --> 01:03:54,026
<i>Mayor McHenry currently
faces 12 counts</i>

963
01:03:54,126 --> 01:03:57,162
<i>of corruption for his alleged
embezzlement of county funds,</i>

964
01:03:57,262 --> 01:04:00,332
<i>and could face a maximum
of 12 years in state prison.</i>

965
01:04:00,432 --> 01:04:04,169
<i>I guess now we know who to blame for
all those unfilled potholes around town.</i>

966
01:04:04,269 --> 01:04:07,506
<i>♪ ...or what, ho, ho, ho ♪</i>

967
01:04:07,606 --> 01:04:09,241
<i>♪ I'm making myself
a wish list ♪</i>

968
01:04:09,809 --> 01:04:11,510
You can't do this to me!

969
01:04:12,110 --> 01:04:14,681
You got the wrong guy.

970
01:04:14,781 --> 01:04:16,649
- I'm the mayor.
- Well, I'm running for the black guy.

971
01:04:16,749 --> 01:04:18,450
Don't make me tase you, bro.

972
01:04:19,418 --> 01:04:21,286
<i>♪ I want more money
more bitches ♪</i>

973
01:04:21,386 --> 01:04:22,988
<i>♪ One who can suck it
and lick it ♪</i>

974
01:04:23,088 --> 01:04:24,657
<i>♪ And one who can cook
and wash dishes ♪</i>

975
01:04:24,757 --> 01:04:28,093
I didn't...
I didn't do anything.

976
01:04:29,461 --> 01:04:32,699
I'm a good,
I'm a good man.

977
01:04:34,834 --> 01:04:39,104
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,
I'm sorry.

978
01:04:41,373 --> 01:04:43,609
- Mama, I'm sorry!
- Come on watch your step.

979
01:04:43,710 --> 01:04:46,345
I didn't do it.

980
01:04:51,583 --> 01:04:55,187
We will transfer juvies
to JDE in a bit.

981
01:04:57,757 --> 01:05:02,060
The rest of you'un's stay put until
Judge Cheryl shows up tomorrow.

982
01:05:05,163 --> 01:05:07,132
But with that being
the holiday and all...

983
01:05:08,701 --> 01:05:09,802
Merry Christmas.

984
01:05:20,178 --> 01:05:22,114
Hold my pocket.

985
01:05:23,215 --> 01:05:24,316
Grandma?

986
01:05:25,384 --> 01:05:27,252
I'm the mayor now!

987
01:05:28,253 --> 01:05:31,256
<i>♪ My name ring bells
hear jingle bells ♪</i>

988
01:05:31,356 --> 01:05:34,426
<i>♪ I'm dressed in all red
but I ain't Kris Kringle ♪</i>

989
01:05:34,526 --> 01:05:36,261
<i>♪ They hate me
they call me the Grinch ♪</i>

990
01:05:36,361 --> 01:05:38,096
<i>♪ I'm robbing your house
yeah, I'm hitting a lick ♪</i>

991
01:05:38,196 --> 01:05:39,732
<i>♪ I'm taking your presents
I'm taking your bitch ♪</i>

992
01:05:39,832 --> 01:05:41,366
<i>♪ Taking your tree
and I'm leaving you sick ♪</i>

993
01:05:41,834 --> 01:05:45,337
<i>Next time in East Jesus, Ohio.</i>

994
01:05:50,843 --> 01:05:55,682
Oh, give it to me,
ah, oh yeah, give it to me.

995
01:05:55,782 --> 01:05:59,351
Oh yeah, oh yeah!

996
01:05:59,451 --> 01:06:04,089
Oh yeah, oh yeah, call me a pig.

997
01:06:04,189 --> 01:06:07,092
Oh yeah, you filthy pig.

998
01:06:11,330 --> 01:06:13,098
Oh yeah, piggie.

999
01:06:13,565 --> 01:06:14,634
Damn it!

1000
01:06:15,702 --> 01:06:18,170
- What?
- Hurry up in there.

1001
01:06:18,270 --> 01:06:19,772
It's Valentine's Day, damn it!

1002
01:06:20,272 --> 01:06:22,341
I got to get ready
for my big date,

1003
01:06:22,441 --> 01:06:24,142
and you're hogging
all the hot water,

1004
01:06:24,242 --> 01:06:25,210
you inconsiderate little prick!

1005
01:06:25,645 --> 01:06:28,447
<i>Oh yeah.</i>

1006
01:06:29,381 --> 01:06:31,550
<i>Oh yeah, piggie.</i>

1007
01:06:41,293 --> 01:06:42,729
You beat off too much.

1008
01:06:42,829 --> 01:06:44,731
You're bound to go blind, son.

1009
01:06:44,831 --> 01:06:48,333
I should know, how do you
think I got these cataracts?

1010
01:06:54,606 --> 01:06:55,507
What the...

1011
01:08:41,047 --> 01:08:43,816
- All right, all right, all right.
- Action.

1012
01:08:44,449 --> 01:08:46,284
Just go away!

1013
01:08:46,686 --> 01:08:50,255
Okay. I was just
trying to help. Good God.

1014
01:08:54,359 --> 01:08:56,461
How long you going to be in there?

1015
01:08:57,663 --> 01:08:59,866
I got to take the Browns
to the Superbowl.

1016
01:09:00,666 --> 01:09:02,702
I got to unloose the caboose.

1017
01:09:05,570 --> 01:09:07,572
I got to drop
the property value.

1018
01:09:08,674 --> 01:09:10,710
I got to launch the missiles!

1019
01:09:11,543 --> 01:09:12,912
I got to loose the cracking.

1020
01:09:13,713 --> 01:09:15,748
I got to drop a swamp pie.

1021
01:09:16,348 --> 01:09:18,583
I got to drop a baby otter.

1022
01:09:18,684 --> 01:09:22,487
Oh, I got to
churn some dookie butter. Oh.

1023
01:09:23,089 --> 01:09:25,557
It's dripping down my leg!

1024
01:10:18,410 --> 01:10:20,780
Okay, I could use a laugh.

1025
01:10:21,180 --> 01:10:23,582
What? I'm not funny.

1026
01:10:24,516 --> 01:10:25,852
Come at me, blondie.

1027
01:10:29,421 --> 01:10:32,524
You know how I lost
the weight, Krav Maga.

1028
01:10:32,624 --> 01:10:35,460
Yep, Jesus
knocked me up.

1029
01:10:36,863 --> 01:10:40,132
It must be my lucky day,
first I get some ass,

1030
01:10:40,233 --> 01:10:41,868
now I get to kick some ass.

1031
01:10:42,768 --> 01:10:45,137
I'm not 16 and pregnant.

1032
01:10:45,238 --> 01:10:49,507
Ah, you're cute, but I'm
about to make you real ugly.

1033
01:10:49,608 --> 01:10:51,043
Goddamn slut.

1034
01:10:52,144 --> 01:10:53,612
I hope you're hungry,

1035
01:10:53,713 --> 01:10:55,413
because you're about
to eat the pavement.

1036
01:10:55,513 --> 01:10:57,016
Aa!

1037
01:10:57,116 --> 01:10:59,018
I think it's that
time of the month

1038
01:10:59,118 --> 01:11:00,552
for me to kick your ass.

1039
01:11:02,554 --> 01:11:03,956
Now this feels dirty.

1040
01:11:15,835 --> 01:11:19,939
<i>♪ It was the night before
Christmas Day ♪</i>

1041
01:11:20,039 --> 01:11:24,076
<i>♪ And all the elves was busy
loading up the sleigh ♪</i>

1042
01:11:24,176 --> 01:11:27,847
<i>♪ Jolly Santa was like
getting his kicks ♪</i>

1043
01:11:28,580 --> 01:11:32,385
<i>♪ And some old reindeer
was like learning new tricks ♪</i>

1044
01:11:32,818 --> 01:11:35,922
<i>♪ But one of the elves said
"Man, we got to go ♪</i>

1045
01:11:36,989 --> 01:11:41,160
<i>♪ We're way behind
and it's beginning to snow" ♪</i>

1046
01:11:41,260 --> 01:11:45,463
<i>♪ Just in Rudolph
with the bloody nose ♪</i>

1047
01:11:45,563 --> 01:11:49,735
<i>♪ Come riding Santa with stains
and whiskey on his clothes ♪</i>

1048
01:11:49,835 --> 01:11:53,005
<i>♪ Mrs. Clause says, "Santa, baby
now where you been all night? ♪</i>

1049
01:11:54,006 --> 01:11:57,609
<i>♪ You got about 45 minutes
before the daylight" ♪</i>

1050
01:11:58,144 --> 01:12:01,681
<i>♪ Big man grabbed his boots
Santa was on his way ♪</i>

1051
01:12:02,614 --> 01:12:06,518
<i>♪ He started flying into JFK ♪</i>

1052
01:12:06,618 --> 01:12:10,756
<i>♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ♪</i>

1053
01:12:11,857 --> 01:12:14,794
<i>♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho
ho, ho, ho, ho ♪</i>

1054
01:12:15,828 --> 01:12:19,531
<i>♪ And shiny jingle bells
was ringing ♪</i>

1055
01:12:19,632 --> 01:12:23,568
<i>♪ And all the little children
they were singing ♪</i>

1056
01:12:23,669 --> 01:12:25,104
<i>♪ Ho ♪</i>

1057
01:12:28,007 --> 01:12:31,509
<i>♪ Then Santa pulled in
to New York town ♪</i>

1058
01:12:32,144 --> 01:12:35,881
<i>♪ That customs agent
was weighing him down ♪</i>

1059
01:12:35,982 --> 01:12:39,752
<i>♪ Said, "Mr. Clause your
passport is 100 years old" ♪</i>

1060
01:12:40,720 --> 01:12:44,256
<i>♪ Again off with you Santa
knock the man out cold ♪</i>

1061
01:12:44,991 --> 01:12:48,593
<i>♪ Went to the city
told the CIA ♪</i>

1062
01:12:49,195 --> 01:12:52,798
<i>♪ Santa creeped
and flea the USA ♪</i>

1063
01:12:53,565 --> 01:12:57,003
<i>♪ Made his escape
and was riding real cool ♪</i>

1064
01:12:57,737 --> 01:13:01,874
<i>♪ But they shot him down
over Istanbul ♪</i>

1065
01:13:01,974 --> 01:13:05,577
<i>♪ And all the reindeer
started running around ♪</i>

1066
01:13:06,212 --> 01:13:10,216
<i>♪ And all the toys was
broken laying on the ground ♪</i>

1067
01:13:10,316 --> 01:13:14,153
<i>♪ Santa ran to the nearest house
and he bust down the door ♪</i>

1068
01:13:14,787 --> 01:13:18,224
<i>♪ Which is where he passed out
upon the floor ♪</i>

1069
01:13:18,324 --> 01:13:22,962
<i>♪ Said, ho, ho, ho
ho, ho, ho, ho ♪</i>

1070
01:13:24,030 --> 01:13:26,899
<i>♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho
ho, ho, ho, ho ♪</i>

1071
01:13:28,034 --> 01:13:31,704
<i>♪ And shining jingle bells
was ringing ♪</i>

1072
01:13:31,804 --> 01:13:35,808
<i>♪ And all the little children
they were singing ♪</i>

1073
01:13:35,908 --> 01:13:37,777
<i>♪ Ho ♪</i>

1074
01:13:40,146 --> 01:13:43,849
<i>♪ And Santa woke up
on Christmas Day ♪</i>

1075
01:13:44,616 --> 01:13:48,020
<i>♪ He ran around
and was laughing all the way ♪</i>

1076
01:13:48,788 --> 01:13:52,291
<i>♪ Santa Clause like
a fat, foolish elf ♪</i>

1077
01:13:53,025 --> 01:13:56,729
<i>♪ And realized that
he had shot himself ♪</i>

1078
01:13:57,163 --> 01:14:01,300
<i>♪ He bought a ticket
on the train ♪</i>

1079
01:14:01,400 --> 01:14:05,137
<i>♪ And with a little pride
that remained ♪</i>

1080
01:14:05,738 --> 01:14:09,141
<i>♪ He shouted
and he gave such a fright ♪</i>

1081
01:14:09,975 --> 01:14:13,345
<i>♪ Merry Christmas
and have a good night ♪</i>

1082
01:14:13,446 --> 01:14:18,017
<i>♪ And ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ♪</i>

1083
01:14:19,218 --> 01:14:22,587
<i>♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho
ho, ho, ho, ho ♪</i>

1084
01:14:23,089 --> 01:14:26,926
<i>♪ And shining jingle bells
was ringing ♪</i>

1085
01:14:27,026 --> 01:14:30,763
<i>♪ And all the little children
they were still singing ♪</i>

1086
01:14:30,863 --> 01:14:32,131
<i>♪ Ho ♪</i>

1087
01:14:44,143 --> 01:14:47,813
Oh, my God, oh, oh, my God!

1088
01:14:47,913 --> 01:14:49,715
Mary mother of God!

1089
01:14:50,349 --> 01:14:52,084
Oh, for heaven's sake!

1090
01:14:52,751 --> 01:14:54,086
Sweet Jesus!

1091
01:14:54,186 --> 01:14:55,855
Holy moly!

1092
01:14:55,955 --> 01:14:57,256
Holy mackerel!

1093
01:14:58,224 --> 01:14:59,859
Holy Toledo!

1094
01:15:00,693 --> 01:15:01,894
Holy shit!

1095
01:15:01,994 --> 01:15:03,295
Oh, my God!

1096
01:15:03,395 --> 01:15:06,031
Oh, oh, oh, my God!

1097
01:15:06,132 --> 01:15:07,166
Oh, amen!

1098
01:15:15,241 --> 01:15:19,011
<i>♪ Jingle bells what's that smell
better stay out of my way ♪</i>

1099
01:15:19,111 --> 01:15:21,147
<i>♪ And if you don't
I'll take your phone ♪</i>

1100
01:15:21,247 --> 01:15:23,215
<i>♪ And punch you
in the face, hey ♪</i>

1101
01:15:23,315 --> 01:15:26,685
<i>♪ Jingle bells, go to hell
it's time for you to pay ♪</i>

1102
01:15:26,785 --> 01:15:30,422
<i>♪ I said, oh, what fun it is
to ride this town this holiday ♪</i>

1103
01:15:31,223 --> 01:15:35,060
<i>♪ Jingle bells what's that smell
better stay out of my way ♪</i>

1104
01:15:35,161 --> 01:15:37,129
<i>♪ And if you don't
I take your phone ♪</i>

1105
01:15:37,229 --> 01:15:39,165
<i>♪ And punch you
in the face, hey ♪</i>

1106
01:15:39,265 --> 01:15:42,768
<i>♪ Jingle bells, go to hell
it's time for you to pay ♪</i>

1107
01:15:42,868 --> 01:15:46,805
<i>♪ I said, oh, what fun it is
to ride this town this holiday ♪</i>

1108
01:15:47,306 --> 01:15:50,976
<i>♪ Strumming through the snow
on a street this Christmas Day ♪</i>

1109
01:15:51,076 --> 01:15:53,078
<i>♪ What time's
the pawn shop close ♪</i>

1110
01:15:53,179 --> 01:15:55,047
<i>♪ Pulled up I'm on my way ♪</i>

1111
01:15:55,147 --> 01:15:59,185
<i>♪ Got a 40 in my hand
throwing shit up in my sack ♪</i>

1112
01:15:59,285 --> 01:16:03,155
<i>♪ Hope I don't get caught again
or jail I'm going back ♪</i>

1113
01:16:03,255 --> 01:16:04,990
<i>♪ I see when you're asleep ♪</i>

1114
01:16:05,090 --> 01:16:06,992
<i>♪ I see when you're awake ♪</i>

1115
01:16:07,092 --> 01:16:10,930
<i>♪ But if you try and stop me
you'll make a big mistake ♪</i>

1116
01:16:11,030 --> 01:16:12,932
<i>♪ Down the chimney
I will slide ♪</i>

1117
01:16:13,032 --> 01:16:15,167
<i>♪ On a cold and snowy night ♪</i>

1118
01:16:15,267 --> 01:16:19,071
<i>♪ Taking all your gifts
and, bitch, I'm out of sight ♪</i>

1119
01:16:19,171 --> 01:16:21,273
<i>♪ Out of sight ♪</i>

1120
01:16:25,344 --> 01:16:26,845
<i>♪ Bitch, I'm out of sight ♪</i>

1121
01:16:26,946 --> 01:16:28,280
<i>♪ Out of sight ♪</i>

1122
01:16:33,085 --> 01:16:35,221
<i>♪ Bitch, I'm out of sight ♪</i>

1123
01:16:35,321 --> 01:16:39,091
<i>♪ Jingle bells what's that smell
best stay out of my way ♪</i>

1124
01:16:39,191 --> 01:16:41,093
<i>♪ And you don't
I take your phone ♪</i>

1125
01:16:41,193 --> 01:16:43,162
<i>♪ And punch you
in the face, hey ♪</i>

1126
01:16:43,262 --> 01:16:46,498
<i>♪ Jingle bells, go to hell
it's time for you to pay ♪</i>

1127
01:16:46,599 --> 01:16:50,869
<i>♪ I said, oh, what fun it is
to ride this town this holiday ♪</i>

1128
01:16:51,270 --> 01:16:55,140
<i>♪ Jingle bells what's that smell
best stay out of my way ♪</i>

1129
01:16:55,241 --> 01:16:57,042
<i>♪ And if you don't
I take your phone ♪</i>

1130
01:16:57,142 --> 01:16:59,211
<i>♪ And punch you
in the face, hey ♪</i>

1131
01:16:59,311 --> 01:17:02,481
<i>♪ Jingle bells, go to hell
it's time for you to pay ♪</i>

1132
01:17:02,581 --> 01:17:06,720
<i>♪ I said, oh, what fun it is
to ride this town this holiday ♪</i>

1133
01:17:07,219 --> 01:17:09,088
<i>♪ Don't work at the mall ♪</i>

1134
01:17:09,188 --> 01:17:11,190
<i>♪ These jells
can suck my balls ♪</i>

1135
01:17:11,290 --> 01:17:15,060
<i>♪ Go ahead and stare
I'll, bitch, slap all you all ♪</i>

1136
01:17:15,160 --> 01:17:17,029
<i>♪ Your kids ain't getting shit ♪</i>

1137
01:17:17,129 --> 01:17:18,998
<i>♪ They're little
naughty pricks ♪</i>

1138
01:17:19,098 --> 01:17:22,801
<i>♪ And your address is next
here on my shopping list ♪</i>

1139
01:17:22,901 --> 01:17:24,803
<i>♪ I take my cookies
with some weed ♪</i>

1140
01:17:24,903 --> 01:17:26,972
<i>♪ Your tobacco is all I need ♪</i>

1141
01:17:27,072 --> 01:17:29,008
<i>♪ Get that shit out of my face ♪</i>

1142
01:17:29,108 --> 01:17:31,076
<i>♪ Because they don't
know how to read ♪</i>

1143
01:17:31,176 --> 01:17:33,045
<i>♪ It's freezing cold out here ♪</i>

1144
01:17:33,145 --> 01:17:35,014
<i>♪ Can't afford
no damn rain gear ♪</i>

1145
01:17:35,114 --> 01:17:36,548
<i>♪ But even though I'm broke ♪</i>

1146
01:17:36,650 --> 01:17:38,817
<i>♪ Your joke is the favorite
time of year ♪</i>

1147
01:17:55,267 --> 01:17:59,071
<i>♪ Jingle bells what's that smell
best stay out my way ♪</i>

1148
01:17:59,171 --> 01:18:01,040
<i>♪ And if you don't
I take your phone ♪</i>

1149
01:18:01,140 --> 01:18:03,208
<i>♪ And punch you
in the face, hey ♪</i>

1150
01:18:03,309 --> 01:18:06,545
<i>♪ Jingle bells, go to hell
it's time for you to pay ♪</i>

1151
01:18:06,646 --> 01:18:10,849
<i>♪ I said, oh, what fun it is
to ride this town this holiday ♪</i>

1152
01:18:11,250 --> 01:18:15,120
<i>♪ Jingle bells what's that smell
you best stay out my way ♪</i>

1153
01:18:15,220 --> 01:18:17,122
<i>♪ And if you don't
I'll take your phone ♪</i>

1154
01:18:17,222 --> 01:18:19,224
<i>♪ And punch you
in the face, hey ♪</i>

1155
01:18:19,325 --> 01:18:22,828
<i>♪ Jingle bells, go to hell
it's time for you to pay ♪</i>

1156
01:18:22,928 --> 01:18:26,865
<i>♪ I said, oh, what fun it is
to ride this town this holiday ♪</i>

1157
01:18:29,301 --> 01:18:32,471
<i>♪ Worst Christmas ever ♪</i>

1158
01:18:37,309 --> 01:18:40,913
<i>♪ God, I'm taking
all your shit ♪</i>

1159
01:18:41,280 --> 01:18:43,282
<i>♪ What, what, what, what, what ♪</i>

1160
01:18:43,949 --> 01:18:46,352
<i>Oh, shit!</i>

1161
01:18:46,452 --> 01:18:48,987
<i>You shot me in the dick!</i>

1162
01:18:49,088 --> 01:18:51,290
My willy!

1163
01:18:51,390 --> 01:18:53,325
My wee-wee!

1164
01:18:53,425 --> 01:18:55,494
My ding-dong!

1165
01:18:55,594 --> 01:18:58,330
My tommy whacker!

1166
01:18:58,430 --> 01:19:02,267
My wang, my bologny bony!

1167
01:19:03,168 --> 01:19:05,104
My little Trey Trey.

1168
01:19:10,101 --> 01:19:15,101
Subtitles by explosiveskull