(Spoken part)
Pinky: What cha doin' dev?
Brain: Studying Vidya Normie.
Pinky: Oh I love doing that, but I always forget clear cache!
Brain: That would be wacking off normie, thats different.
	   Studying vidya doesn't make you horny, it "betterfies" you and make you more capable of selling experiences!
Pinky: Did you know that every time you open your mouth, strange shill words come out?
Brain: I'll explain this so even you can understand


Through meticulous analysis of Vi-di-ya
Devs can find a way to make normies buy from ya
By studying the failures of games gone by
I’ll discover the mistakes that made them go awry.

Pinky: So that you can make the same mistakes if you just try.

By studying the past so carefully,
I won’t repeat the same mistakes financially

Pinky: You'll never make another dime, you see,
Because you devs just too damn greedy!

Pay attention Normie!

Now Andromeda was duly hyped
Was famed the sequel that would do us right
But when the game got its release
The models showed the franchise was for sure deceased!

Pinky: The EA butthurt never really seems to cease!

I won’t get day one release sass
When I hide all the content in a season pass

Pinky: Oh no Dev, they won’t pay a cent
Day One DLC way too fre-que-nt!

No Man’s sky, Quite the betrayer
Tried promising open worlds with multiplayer
Just what it was, nobody knew,
Procedurally generated twas not true

Pinky: But now the co-op gameplay can be called brand new!

We’ll be quite smarter businessmen
Our paid reviews will label it a 10!

The PC gamers you will sneer
Buy, return, and then your profits disappear!

Battlefield had just come back
With One it seemed that they were right on track
Woke Devs and blue hair caused alarm
Told people not to buy and had to sell the farm!

Pinky: Can't really start a circle jerk with just one arm!

Why be so blunt in pandering
When delayed games will keep them clamoring

Pinky: Piss off your fans just for some cash
Don’t be surprised when receive a huge backlash!

Devil May Cry had a reboot
Itsuno couldn't even troubleshoot
The hardcore fans they sure did spurn
"Fuck You" was just the start of the downturn!

Pinky: But Now I'm hype for robo-armed Nero's return!

Why remake just to get regrets
When I can just recycle all old assets

Pinky: Sonic forces, MVC-I
Prove rehashing makes your franchise swiftly die!

Normie if you don't this criticism I will have to ban you.

The Order was quite a hyped up game
With werewolves, Empires, and graphics strained
But once released all soon realized
It was a shitty movie that was in disguise!

Pinky: A model David Cage would like to standardize!

Why treat games like they're artistry
When lootboxes return investments quite nicely

Pinky: Unless those bans pass the EU
Then everyone will be obliged  to come sue you!

[squirt] Waahahaha!

From old ET to Duke Nukem
From battlefront 2 down to Sonic Boom
I find the game dev's tragic trips,
And gain a little wisdom out of each their slips.

Pinky: Don't forget the classic sonic 06!

Brain: That concludes my little rhyme,
I hope this lesson wasn't just a waste of time.

Pinky: Well dev, I've learned that one thing's true,
Every one of them has failed, and so will you.

Brain: Thank you for your "constructive criticism, now come, we must prepare for the next e3!"

Pinky: Why, what are we gonna do for the next E3? AH! Make a podcast about fortnite dances!?


Brain: No normie, we're shall try to sell all of our shit!-......... through through meticulous analysis of Vi-di-ya!

Pinky: Oh........ but I like the fortnite dance......