Space Anon, an anon in space but not really

>It was a still and chilly morning atop the little hill
>Frost thawed to dew which sat on thin blades of grass, glistening in the warm rising sun
>Only those earliest of risers could be seen out and about in the minor town of Haytrail
>Small birds trilled happily in the peace
>A peace shattered by the trundling of a wooden go-kart’s wheels
>“Come on Ratch, pull harder! You’ve almost got us to the top!”
>The shout had originated from the small and excitable mare sitting in the cart’s driver seat
>She was as white as the clouds above, her sky blue mane pulled back into a fishtail braid
>”Give it all you’ve got!” She continues shouting exuberantly
>The recipient of her encouragement was none other than the light rust coloured stallion hauling the cart up the hill
>Sweat ran from his brow at the effort require for both pulling the cart and the pony inside
>The stallion raises a hoof to push back the damp strands of dark sienna mane falling over his eyes
>”This would be a little easier if you got out of the cart Horizon Sky.” He retorts
>The mare bounces around in the cushioned seat
>”But that would be no fun! You’re strong enough to do it!”
>The stallion grumbles quietly under his breath and perseveres forward
>You were that very Stallion
>Ratch as Sky named you
>That was nothing more than a nickname of course. Your name was Raan Therous Chet Felor Lexinglen
>Your parents weren’t exactly fancy ponies, but they wanted to be, hence the stupid fucking name
>You much preferred what your friend had dubbed you, “Ratchet.”, or “Ratch.” for short
>Heh, a short version of the short version of your name
>Sadly you didn’t end up the success your parents had envisioned
>You didn’t quite have the money to get into University to get a degree in engineering, your true passion.
> Resultantly the best job you could manage without being able to further the skills of your cutie mark was as a simple workshop mechanic
>It didn’t stop you from pursuing your real desires though
>In all your spare time you would create and destroy anything you could get your hooves on
>You loved seeing how things worked, learning to recreate and imitate them from their parts
>You chose to think of yourself as an inventor rather than a mechanic
>And hence the reason for your laborious breathing and sweating right now
>You’d recently acquired one of Ep-Tech’s [Earth Pony Technologies] newest crystal engines
>Using your special talents and the help from your best friend, you’d mounted it onto a small frame and built yourself a tiny wooden go-kart
>Today was the first official test run
>Practically crawling the last steps to the hill’s top you come to an ungraceful stop, flopping to the ground, morning sun rising ever higher in the sky
>”Woo! I knew you could do it!” the little mare yelps as she jumps from the seat
>After a moment to catch your breath you look over to Sky
>”Yeah, heh, I did do it! But who cares? Now we get to test this baby out!”
>The excitement flowing from your friend had made its way into you, infecting your mind with joyful energy
>”Alright, you can take control, but I’ve got shotgun.” She says
>The little cart, despite its size, did in fact have enough room for two ponies, and while safety was of some concern you knew better than to argue with Sky once she’d decided upon something
>The carts maiden voyage would have to be a shared one
>With that you hop into the cart
>You take your position on the driver’s seat, then start up the small engine
>The miniscule crystals embedded in it begin to spark and crackle as it comes to life
>”Aww yeah! Give it all she’s got!” Sky yells
>Aye that you could, and would, do
>Safety first however
>Your hoof slaps a helmet down on her head then applies your own
>Everything was set to go
>The calm of the morning had truly been drowned out by the sparking motor and two beaming ponies
>A gentle hoof press onto the pedal and the cart jumps off
>The aid of the natural slope coupled with the little engine on your expertly designed box-, err, “Go-kart”, swiftly accelerates you down the hill
>Horizon Sky shouts into your ear, attempting to overcome the growing whistle from the rapidly passing wind
>”Ahhh! She’ll hit warp speed at this rate!”
“HAHA! It feels that way doesn’t i-
*KRABOOM*
>If the putter from the small engine had broken the morning peace the thunderous explosion had just annihilated it
>As the cart careens forwards at an ever increasing pace a spherical tear in the sky opens up
>The ground was uneven and bumpy making it difficult to focus on the hole growing in the sky
>It looked like a rip in the universe itself
>Even with the added difficulty seeing brought about by your chaotic motion you manage to spy a distinct and large metallic object fall from it, plummeting toward the natural lake several kilometres out of the hay fields which surrounded your town
>The hole seals up with such speed you could barely believe it was ever there at all
>As it does the object disappears from view
>An enormous spray of water flies into the air far off in the distance
>You look over to Sky
>The fear and worry spreading through your body was mirrored by the look on your face
>Hers just showed a grin
>”We need to see what that was! Today we adventure!”
“Can’t we just leave it for the elements of harmony? That looks serious.” You shout back over the wind
>She just elbows your side insistently
>”Come on, they don’t deserve all the worldly fame and glory!”
>Maybe this was your chance at a life of fame and riches? To be a successful pony like your family wanted
>All the better whatever fell from that hole in the sky was metallic in nature, therefore had the potential to be something you could break apart and learn about
“You could be right!”
>She giggles
>“I’m always right idiot, now pull this thing over, we’re going a bit fast.”
>She was indeed right
>The landscape rushed by as a blur and you weren’t even on the slope of the hill any more
>Damn! You were actually still gaining speed! What did you do to that motor?
“Right, hold on.”
>The ground wasn’t getting and smoother, giving your voice and odd vibration to it
>You definitely did need to slow down
>Your hoof moves over to the breaks
>To push down onto empty air
>…
>Oh fuck right off!
>”Sky we have a problem… I never installed the breaks.”
>The last part comes out as a croaked whisper, one you’d thought inaudible over the wind
>But at that moment all the joy and excitement flew from Sky’s body
>Her head very slowly and calmly, even with the world speeding by, turns towards you, giving you the most deadpan stare into the void you’d ever seen
>Hello darkness my old friend
>”That’s. Fine.”
>Her strange calm disappears as quickly as her excitement had
>Her muzzle opens up to let out a gut wrenching scream, one you wholeheartedly join in on
>Panicked, your hooves slip from the wheel
”GAH! Shit!”
>The little crystal powered vehicle now sped alarmingly fast, and entirely out of control
>All the worse a fence was rapidly approaching, separating the field you currently careened wildly through and the path into the village
>”I hate you so much right now Ratch!” Sky shouts to the passing landscape
>As the fence moves ever closer you close your eyes and wait for the inevitable
>But after a sickening lurch you find yourself and the cart soaring through the air, having struck a small ridge
>The cart falls away from under the both of you, hitting the ground and shattering into a veritable powder
>There was no fixing that
>Sky and yourself continue through the air, over the dirt road and into a close by muddy puddle, having formed from the melting frost
>The two of you emerge covered in the brown goop
>The sense of relief at being alive sends the two of you into a laughing fit, restoring the good mood
>Horizon Sky was already raring and ready to go, all her excitement and energy rushing back with the release of adrenaline
>”Come on Ratchet, let’s get to the lake before anypony else, we’re lucky it’s still so early.”
“Just to shut you up.”
>”A reason is a reason.”
>Why were you friends with her?
>Sky picks the pace as you gallop towards the lake

<| °_° |>

>The thick brush of plants surrounding the lake stir violently as two small ponies rush through them
>The lake was still and shining blue
>All was calm and all was right
>Your face smacks into Sky’s rump as she stops moving, her entire being focussed on something she’d spied out on the lake
>You move up beside her to see it
>A few large bubbles burst up from the lake's bottom
>The frequency of bubbles increases until something large and metallic surfaces, huge inflated buoys ran along its side, keeping it suspended in the water
>The thing looked triangular, its body spreading out into some very peculiar tapered wing like things, a small glass screen was situated on what you thought to be its front
>Four large blue lights dully glowed from the back of the object
>An educated guess would put them as some kind of engine
>”R-Ratch what is that?”
“And how in the wide world of Equestria would I know?”
>”You’re smarter than me that’s why!”
>You were about to refute her when a loud hissing noise from the metal thing draws your attention
>It was the sound of air venting from a decompressive cycle, but not that you’d know that
>A segment on the side of the thing opens up
>A tall and terrifying silhouette emerges
>Whatever was about to happen, you most definitely wished it was something you’d left to the Elements of Harmony

<| °_° |>

>The black emptiness that was the void of space stretched outwards in all directions
>A tiny gravitational distortion ripples out from a single infinitesimally small point
>The distortion’s radius grows at an enhanced rate expanding to over 100 meters across
>The event horizon of the gravitational sphere swells to bursting as a United Terran Space Confederation (UTSC) Mk.II ZTT Recon ship slips through the wormholes terminus
>It moved through the vacuum like a knife, sleek and smooth, designed for speed and distance travel
>It resembled a pre-FTL earth B-2 Spirit, just with arched wings
>A quintet of blue plasma thrusters glow from the back, propelling the relatively small craft along
>The breach closes as the ship drifts away, the cosmic energies dissipating back into the fabric of the universe from which it was drawn
>Sensor arrays deploy from the ship, neurally streaming any and all information to the ship’s captain
>He sat meshed into his acceleration couch, the now centuries old specialist tech allowing spatial manoeuvres at greater G forces than the human body was capable
>His breath was steady as the ship fuelled his neural implants with stimuli
>Enhanced vision and projections showing the surrounding solar system from infra-red to ultra-violet project in your mind’s eye
>You had emerged 200,000km from the gas giant Tetsuo
>A ring of asteroids orbited the monster planet, small reflective bits of metal giving away the only signs of human activity
>That and the number of space craft flying around and the huge mining equipment anchored to several asteroids
>Sending a command to the flight systems you speed towards the settlement, covering the enormous distance in no time
>All message frequencies were open and ready to transmit or receive at a thought
>It was a simple pit stop admits a greater reconnaissance journey
>You were Anonymous, or Anon 096, Royal Knight of the Terran Command, but currently, having been assigned your own Recon craft, you were Anon, Captain of the StankButt
>They shouldn’t have let you name the ship
>Your mission was simple, to locate a new star system suitable for industrialisation, just like this one
>Actually that was more of a side venture. Anyone who found a workable star system got mad dosh
>In reality you had been sent out here by your government to locate something of importance
>You weren’t trying to hide anything there, that’s all you knew of your own objective, just ‘something important’
>Something “private-military-funded-corporation-experiment” style of important
>You open your eyes to look out your small view screen, watching the tiny rocks draw ever closer with your natural vision
>Humanities corporations loved to set up mining settlements amongst the asteroid fields which orbited almost all gas giants in the known universe
>Trillions of credits worth of precious metals and rare minerals were extracted from them and used to fuel humanities ever destructive expansion
>Such settlements could last hundreds of years, spawning actual societies and cultures
>Since their conception centuries ago not one had ever closed down
>The reason for the longevity of such settlements was none other than the great storming beasts above which they orbited
>Skimmers would drift below the gas giants surface and harvest Helium-3, the precious fuel necessary for interstellar space travel, aside from antimatter, but the UTSC tended not to fuck with stuff that could destroy entire planets, not anymore
>With a thought you send a command to the ships computer to connect to the communication frequency that just opened for you
>You send out multiple requests to the station
>In a moment you have permission to dock at Port C17, a refuel scheduled with the stations maintenance crew and a warm meal ordered at the local restaurant
>The Ship slides smoothly into the docking mechanism and is pulled into the station
>Your mind is filled with new information as the stations operator transmits through the neural network
>*Knight Anon 096 you’re secure and are clear for exit*
*Thanks*
>The acceleration couch releases your body which slowly drifts into the air
>The Recon ship wasn’t large enough to fit its own Grav-field generator
>You drift over to your tiny quarters and pull from the wall storage your black and gold Royal Knight one piece
>It was a /very/ tight uniform with inbuilt carbon composite plates along the arms, legs, chest and back for protection
>It was truly nothing more than a military edition of the standard flight suit
>You zip it up along the front and float from your ship
>The docking yards didn’t have gravity either, there wasn’t any point. It’s where all the heavy lifting happened
>Once you push through to the first of the endless metallic grey corridors, which connected the entire complex, gravity comes rushing back to greet you
>But you were no greenhorn at space travel and you deftly flip to your feet landing softly on the ground with nary a sound
>You stride down the corridor and enter the large reception chamber of the dock yards
>A man in an orange jumpsuit walks up to greet you
>From the identification signature on his suit he was Chuck, one of the dock workers
>“Anon 096?”
“Indeed that is who I am.”
>The man cranes his neck upwards to look you in the eye
>“Jesus! You Knights sure do grow big, if you don’t mind me saying so”
“Get it all the time.”
>Chuck was indeed right, you were big
>You could not earn your way into the ranks of the Royal Knights, you were born into it
>Or more specifically, created for it
>Royal Knights were the billion dollar products of the UTSC’s private military research division
>Genetically modified, lab grow people
>Your mother was a tube!
>Altered for inhuman speed and strength you stood a good two heads above most people and were covered in genetically and cybernetically enhanced muscle fibres, making you a rather intimidating sight to whoever opposed you, to everyone else you were a beacon of humanity's strength
>Or weakness, for why else would you need to create such a weapon?
>”Thanks. We’ve got your ship hooked up and refuelling as you requested.”
>Something your ships systems had already told you
>”But, considering your status I also threw in a free mechanical systems check-up.”
>Fuck yeah, being a genetic abomination payed off sometimes
“You’ve done the Confederation good Chuck.”
>He salutes you
>”Thank you sir. May I ask what’s brought you out to Tetsuo?”
“Scouting for appropriate mining settlements The Confederation must expand while the getting’s good.”
>”Too true sir.”
>With that you stride confidently away
>You spend the evening, or simulated evening (the light in the hallways dimmed as night approached), devouring your ordered meal in the dingy restaurant you’d booked
>It was your standard mining settlement affair
>Grey metal, bad lighting, a single SNI (Sensory-Neural-Interface) display and shitty but satisfyingly beer
>As a Knight you required quite a lot of food, although thanks to your unique genetics most anything could sustain you long enough to find something more… adequate, and you usually only had to eat once a day, you just ate a shit tonne during that one time
>That being said the measly meal wasn’t enough to sate your hunger and only after a further three dinners and four pints of beer were you satisfied
>With nothing better to do, and quite bored of your crappy surroundings, you look up to the SNI screen
>You vision is overcome with that familiar fuzzy white as your mind melds with the display
>Suddenly you’re lying on the warm sunny beaches of 21st century Earth Tahiti
>So comforting. It’s a magical place

<| °_° |>

>The next morning you’re up and about early, eager to get out of the hard and tiny bed in the hotel room you’d found
>You were up so early no one but the skeleton crew of workers needed to keep the station running were up
>Another benefit to being a bitch of science, you didn’t need much sleep, just 2 hours in a 24 hour cycle could keep you going in desperate situations
>The lack of people made leaving easy
>Situated back in your acceleration couch you calculate and provide a flight plan to the computer
>The sleek black metal ship pulls out and accelerates away at a tremendous pace, the gargantuan mining settlements fading to microscopic dots in the vastness of space
>You access your mission intel
>Whatever you were looking for had been lost mid-transit between systems
>Apparently the small armada of ships protecting it had come under attack
>They’d jettisoned off the thing through a warp jump before they’d been overrun
>Unfortunately the wormhole had been forcible closed, externally by the attackers, causing the damned thing to portal out at the wrong location
>Whoever the attackers were they must have some obscene tech to close a wormhole
>You had three possible destinations as to where the device may have appeared based off its last received transmission
>Sector S12, S09 and S16
>From the look of the spectroscopic analysis sector S12 had the gas giant with the greatest percentage of He-3, something you’d require to fuel your flight back, plus it wouldn’t hurt to actually scout for future settlement locations, because you know, money
>You send S12’s coordinates to the computer and fire up the Jump nodes
>StankButt’s acceleration increases further as an infinitesimally small event horizon opens up kilometres ahead of the ship
>The wormholes radius rapidly expands as the Jump nodes pour all their energistic power into tearing apart the reality of space-time
>Your craft slips into the spherical rip
>Through the small windscreen of your ship nothing but white could be seen
>Extending the ship's sensor arrays gave no input
>The space between space tended to have nothing in it
>*WARNING! Event horizon within hazardous zone, temperatures exceed shield’s capacity. User action required IMMEDIATELY*
>Fuck! What?! What the hell was happening with the gas giant at sector S12?!
>*WARNING! User neural input insufficient. Performing emergency jump shutdown*
>…
>Wait what?
>*Ship eject in 3…2…1…*
>Oh fuck!
>The tunnel of space around you collapses as your ship rushes through
>The universe reappears
>Sensory arrays deploy as you check up on the star system
>The first thing you do is pinpoint the location you were meant to emerge
>It was just a few hundred million kilometres off course
>Damn that was really good. It was a surprise you’d even ended up in a star system at all, let alone the right one
>Having a look at your intended exit you realise the issue the computer had picked up on
>What the initial scans had thought was a gas giant had been a very small sun, it must have been obscured by something while they were taking the readings! God fucking damn that is a bitch
>But you’re grateful to be alive
>The guys who gave the go ahead for this system? Well once you got home they’d regret being alive, for a time at least
>You turn your attention to more pressing matters
>Not that what you’d just done took more than the time for a thought to enter your head
>The more pressing matter of course was your ships current position and the fact you were out of control
>Your ship was above the single planet in this system
>Just not above it in orbit
>You were under 600 meters from the surface
>You could see the nature and shrubbery below you without the aid of your ships sensors
>Fuck that’s too low
>On instinct alone your mind sends a quick order to angle your now out of control ship towards a medium sized natural lake
>Your next action is to activate all the drag wings along the hull and blast your reverse thrusters
>You release as many modules from you ship as possible, the storage, living quarters, purification and recycling systems, extra ammunition, anything to lighten your craft
>Each pops from the fuselage of your ship and sails to the ground
>StankButt plunges into the lake with a splash imitating a miniature atomic detonation, virtually still impacting at full speed
>Thanks to your accel-couch you were spared from the massive impulse of the crash
>Only some of your ship's systems had managed to stay online
>Diagnostic capabilities were still enabled
>You set it into action and run through the damage report
>The lower hull was fucked beyond repair and multiple systems were offline, likely for good
>Too many systems just came up blank
>Something you’ll have to deal with later, because apparently water was rapidly rushing into the lower levels and your ships flotation buoys had yet to inflate
>The best thing you can try before thinking of abandoning ship is to turn it on and off again
>You signal for the ship's computer to restart
>When it does you’re temporarily left in pure black for what feels eternity, the quiet sounds of rushing water entering your ship below and the unsettling groans of the hull matching the mood with terrifying perfection
>The system attempts to restart multiple times, failing upon start up
>But you persist for a good ten minutes, sending initiation commands to the central computer
>Finally lights flicker back on and the ship judders as the buoys burst from their covers, expanding out into the murky depths as the ship come back online
>Slowly the craft beings to rise through the water
>With the system rebooted you run through diagnostics again
>The second you connect fully you’re blasted with a warning message
>*30 seconds until Nodal meltdown*
>*User evacuation attempts: INADEQUATE*
>*Forced evacuation in 25 seconds*
>Having been cut from the Swallow so suddenly your Jump nodes had been overloaded with excess power and were about to light up
>And when they went, by god did they go
>*29 seconds until meltdown*
>You have to move fast
>Thank fuck most of your equipment was in the storage module you jettisoned, along with some ammunition
>Assuming they hadn’t vaporized on impact
>You tear from the couch before it can properly detach from you, strands of peculiar, almost living, fern like cloth pull at your skin before popping off and drifting back to the chair
>You sprint to a storage slot and pull out your hand held chemical projectile weapon, the Nix .50, it was more or less a modern analogue of the Old World Desert Eagles, and make for the exit with all the speed your enhanced body could manage
>The doors hiss open and you step out into the light
>At a first glance the lake you’re in is surrounded on all sides by dense shrubbery
>Something far off on the shore line stirs the bushes
>You don’t have time to inspect further as you jump up onto your ship’s roof
>Your feet thud heavily as you sprint up StankButt’s hull
>There was one last thing you needed before you could ditch this death trap
>*15 seconds*
>Thundering to a halt at a small dodecahedral outcropping on your ship you firmly wrap your hands around it
>Biosynthetically enhanced muscles strain at the effort and the outcropping quickly tears away
>It was the ship’s Warp beacon, your only hope and means of sending an FTL distress signal
>Pulling out your pistol you shoot the buoys
>*8 seconds*
>They deflate with a hiss
>The immense weight of the ship plus the water filled lower half quickly drags it back under
>You startup your enhanced sprint again and dive as far from the rapidly sinking ship as possible
>You sail into the water which turns a thick bubbling white as you churn at it with your powerful legs, propelling you effortlessly from the heaping wreck
>*2 seconds*
>You reach the shore and turn around to see your craft had been completely submerged once more
>With it gone from view you can see directly across to the other side of the lake
>It’s there that you find the source of the previous stirring you’d noticed
>A pair of indigenous beasts were at the lake, likely getting a drink
>But the little guys were so adorable!! Some kind of horse analogue
>This place may not have a gas giant but it could make double the amount it would as a mining system if it were used for tourism
>Who wouldn’t pay thousands just to have a look at those guys, so cute!
>*1 second*
>Aw, the poor little things were going to get such a fright
>All inputs from the ship to your brain vanish, your mind feeling empty
>In mere moments a gargantuan sphere of destructive energy expands from what was once your ship
>All and any matter which made contact was sucked into the void between space-time, left to nothingness for all eternity
>As suddenly as it grew the sphere shrinks and disappears, all in complete silence
>Once it’d vanished half the lake had been drained of water, all of it sucked into the void
>Damn, here 30 seconds and you’re already giving it that old human touch, irreparably altering the environment
>Although it’s not your fucking god damn fault
>You’ll still be getting one hell of an earful for this though. God damn
>Those two adorable creatures had run off somewhere
>You pull apart the casing on the Warp beacon and manually activate it
>It takes flight from your hand and vanishes into the sky
>The beacon should remain in orbit for a number of days, sending out its distress signal, but who knows when rescue would arrive? Or if it’d ever arrive
>The Warp beacon only broadcast on military frequencies, meaning you could only wait for official rescue, and that involved a lot of paperwork, therefore time
>Well then, it’s time to collect your shit, not that you’d had much left now
>Thankfully each module of your ship had its own electromagnetic tag, making locating your equipment beyond easy
>Unfortunately only two tags were left transmitting, the storage module and living quarters
>You set off into the brush with the plan to get situated on this new planet
>Which you’d yet to thank for being habitable, nothing would have pissed you off more than emerging to an atmosphere of sulphur, or a planet that rained molten metal
>Your supplies should consist of your armour, additional weapons and ammunition, dried food, and various operations equipment including a case of Neural nanonics
>The nanonics were specialised nanoscale tech wired directly to one’s brain, they’d been a leftover from the ship's previous operator, you already had military grade hardware installed
>You move out
>If your living quarters hadn’t vaporized on impact you wouldn’t need to worry about building your own shelter
>One could only hope, and the active tag was a good sign
>Not five minutes into your romp through the native vegetation do you realise you’re being followed
>You activate your Neural nanonics to filter out most of the noise around you aside from that of the soft rustling from behind
>By the sound alone there were two of them, four legged, not very large
>It couldn’t be those adorable ponies from before could it?
>Your head darts around but there’s nothing there
>Your enhanced eyes straining against the thick shrubbery yields nothing but shadows
>You continue onwards to the little marker flashing in your vision
>Technology is magic
>And whatever was following you was soon to find out that would be a harder task than they’d anticipated

<| °_° |>

>You had no idea what it was, you had no desire to know what it was, all you knew was it couldn’t be good
>”SWEET CELESTIA! Ratch it destroyed the lake! We have to get it for that! I liked swimming in there!” Your zealous friend yells as she jumps about
”Did you not just fucking see what happened! What that thing did!? And it was huge! I don’t wanna mess with it.” you bleat back to Sky, desperate to avert her growing intent
>You really did not want to tangle with whatever /that/ was
>”What it did? The alien didn’t do anything! It was the massive black triangle which did it, the alien’s just a weak wimp who made it blow-up.”
>As Horizon Sky continue ranting and raving about getting back at the creature you can only think of one thing
>You focus back on Horizon, who was still going on about something
“What did you say before?”
>She stops and looks at you annoyed
>”Weren’t you listening again Ratchet, I swear you zone out way too much sometimes.”
“I know but what did you call the thing? An alien?”
>The word itself sparked a little excitement inside of you
>Mainly at the prospect of super advanced technologies you could reproduced and use to form the most powerful company in the known world of Equis
>”Of course I called it an alien, it fell from a hole in the sky and exploded, what else does that?”
“Fair point.”
>If it truly were an alien, then that would make the triangle his spaceship
>Now if you recall correctly that thing just disappeared with half your lake
>Then that would mean
“Oh no…”
>”What, what is it?” your excitable friend enquiries
“We can’t hurt it, we have to help it. If he’s an alien then he just crash landed; he’s stranded on our world!”
>Sky’s anger flows away with the breeze, worried concern washing over to replace it
>She dives at you and pulls your face as close to hers as possible without fusing them, all the while shouting at you, spittle flying over your forehead and muzzle
>”WE NEED TO HELP IT!”
>As quick as that she vanishes into the underbrush
>Sky had outpaced you during your gallop to the other side of the lake
>So as your hooves clatter to a stop you find her anxiously waiting for you beside the appallingly obvious tracks left behind by the alien
>”Hehe, this one must be a real fatty, look how deep their hooves sank into the dirt!”
>Her hoof presses down into the print
“Uhh, I don’t think those are hooves Sky.”
>The hoofprints were weird, a kind of bean shape with five little circles at the front
>”No duh! What else was I meant to call them?”
“Bean hooves?” you suggest
>She doesn’t reply, instead walking beside the tracks, leaving you to your lonesome
>Fair enough
“Hey wait up!”
>Rushing to catch up to Sky you notice something pressed into the muddy soil
>It was a, ah? Um? Well you had no idea but it was flat, rectangular, shiny and had a glowing purple outline
>Magical alien tech? You’ll be having that!
>Small rectangle now in your little side pouch you move up to your friend, who had decided to wait for you after realising you weren’t following
>“Will you hurry up! By the look of it they’re only walking, but their stride is almost double ours.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know we have to help this thing, but come on, aren’t you even a little scared? Not even just apprehensive?”
>She just stares at you like you’re a fool
>You could see the thoughts passing through her mind
>*How could Ratchet even think that?*, probably because you understood preservation of self
>”No?”
“How do you work?”
>She grins
>”Come on nincompoop, let’s go”

<| °_° |>

>Despite its size the alien hadn’t covered much ground
>Coincidentally it was its size itself which had been slowing the thing down
>The vegetation may not be that restricting for yourself or Sky, but quite obviously the alien wasn’t enjoying it
>Or that was your assessment after seeing the massive hole ploughed through the forest
>”Is he angry?”
“Why don’t you find out for yourself?”
>She glares at you
>”No need to be a dick.”
>Your head shakes, dispelling Sky’s assumption
“Not what I meant. I can see it way down there.”
>Your hoof directs your friend to a currently thrashing segment of the forest off in the distance
>A few glimpses of the black and gold alien could be seen amongst the movement
“If we sneak up and watch it we can see how best to deal with this, if it’s angry well… It destroyed half the lake so…”
>Sky’s normally cheery face droops with worry as she continues watching the furious thrashing
>”You know what, sneaking sounds good.”
>The two of you draw as close as you’d dare and watch eagerly
>Up closer you realise what you’d originally thought to be a coat of black and gold was actually a peculiar one-piece article of clothing
>The alien itself didn’t even have a coat!
>By the more ‘Angular’ shape of it you’d say it was a male
“He looks like a tall minotaur had a baby with a hairless ape.”
>Sky doesn’t reply
>You tear your gaze from the alien to look over to her
>She was gone
>Your eyes dart about searching wildly for your friend
>Where was she? Had the alien got her? You’d been watching him this entire time so there was no way!
>You spot her even further ahead, slinking ever closer, laying low to the ground
“What do you think you’re doing!?” you angrily whisper
>Her head twists over to look at you
>”He doesn’t look mad, he just causes a lot of destruction, besides.”
>She turns back to the alien
>”He’s so adorable! Just look at the cute massive thing, and those tiny eyes! Can we take it back to the village? I promise I’ll feed it and everything!”
>The mare gives off a high pitch squee and shuffles closer, not willing to even wait for your response
>Which would have been an automatic no-fucking-way
>Besides wouldn’t it be sapient? It’s an alien
>And how in Tartarus was that thing cute? It looked like a killing machine, a dragon with no scales
>You didn’t want it in your house
>Suddenly the beast stops thrashing through the bush and twists around, staring intently into the foliage which hid you
>Your body seizes as his piercing eyes pass over you
>Just. Don’t. Breath.
>With an unnatural speed and agility he’d not being utilising earlier the alien vanishes into the dense green surroundings
>How the fuck did he do that?
>”Aw great, you spooked him!”
“Hey! I’m not the one squeaking from the bushes!”
>The two of you trot to where he’d once stood
>Sky looks along the ground in the direction of the fleeing creature
>”How’d he do that? One second he’s crashing along like a bear, the next he’s slipped away like a shadow.”
“Is that really surprising? He is an alien, for all we know he can do anything, plus imagine what powerful magics he could have.”
>She shifts anxiously between hooves
>”Ugh, I know I wanted an adventure, but this is getting crazy and we’ve only been watching him. Do we really have to help?”
“We’re ponies of Equestria, what do you think?”
>”Damn, you’re right. I’ve got to stop being such a scaredy pony.” Sky asserts, bolstering her morale
>There was just one slight issue
“How do we find him now?”
>”I don’t know if you picked up on this, but so far he’s been walking in a dead straight line.”
>You think back upon your trek and look to the trail you’d just come down
>Sure enough it was perfectly straight
“Not strange at all… So what’s your idea?”
>”Simple, we keep going that direction, he must be heading towards something, maybe we can beat him there, that way he’ll have to talk to us to get whatever he wants.”
>Solid reasoning, although you didn’t fancy a direct confrontation with whatever that was
>But now there was another problem
“How exactly do we beat him? You saw how fast he just went.”
>”Yeah, because we scared him you big silly! He’ll slow down soon and then we can take him over.”
“How do you know he’ll slow down?”
>”Because he would have been galloping from the start if he never had to stop.”
>Sky begins to giggle
>”I just have the answer for everything today, and here I thought you were the smart pony.”
“We can find out just how smart a pony you are by how well this plan of yours works.”
>A grin spreads along her muzzle
>”My plans always work.”

<| °_° |>

>The two indigenous beasts rush through the shrubbery in the direction you’d “disappeared”
>In reality you’d ran just out of their sight, climbed one of the trees and circled your way back to them, leaping from branch to branch like your ancient simian ancestors
>You’d come back just in time to see them running off
>Were they tracking you like a pack of wolves? Did this world’s predators evolve unnatural cuteness to disarm their prey?
>It was a wild theory, but you always had to prepare for the worst eventuality
>As the two small pastel beasts gallop through the undergrowth you deftly follow from above
>Aside from the absurd colour palettes the ponies also had disturbing symbols on their flanks
>The rusty orange one had what looked to be a hammer hitting three gears, breaking them apart from each other
>He also had what looked to be an odd growth on his side
>The far stranger coloured one, white and blue, had a wonderful depiction of a rising sun over a silhouetted horizon, a paint brush trailed off from the stylized sunrise
>Innocent enough, but why in the universe would they have such things on their flanks?
>They were symbols of intelligent society
>Taking a closer look at the ‘growth’ on the stallion with your enhanced vision you come to realises it’s actually a small bag
>No longer were these wild animals out to hunt you, but the world’s resident sapient species
>Damn, you just discovered a new alien race!
>HA! Big fucking deal, only like a hundred thousand of those had been found
>What scored real points was discovering another space faring species, particularly one with more advanced technology, or just a unique perspective on reality
>There were a lot of philosophers in space
>Your situation hasn’t changed much, you’re going to be stuck here for a few days, and you’re being tracked by a pair native creatures, now you just know they’re self-aware, hence more dangerous
>Although by their size if you gave them a solid enough stomp you could break their spine, so the danger was relative and not absolute
>So you’d let these little things run along, they could do as they please, you can get to your equipment module at your own pace
>And they were so adorable! You couldn’t hurt them
>Or more officially, as a Royal Knight you stood as a symbol of civility, and had taken an oath of non-violence against the innocent and unprotected
>With the natives out of sight and out of mind you dive from the tree, your feet squishing deeply into the loamy soil
>Note to self, start wearing shoes during space flight, it’ll keep you from losing them to oblivion in case of catastrophes
>One command later your neural nanonics begin an SNI recording. While you’re here you may as well get some data on the planet
>You set off at a reasonable pace to your equipment
>The thuds of slow trudging fade into the distance, the natural sounds of the forest returning, as you journey towards your goal

<| °_° |>

>Sky’s tail bobbed along in front of you, occasionally flicking into your panting maw
>Bleagh! She really had to wash that thing!
“Are we still going in the right direction?”
>”Sure we ar-*oof*”
>The mare trips over a root and disappears through a dense thicket
“SKY! Are you alright?”
>You struggle past the shrubbery, twigs scratching against your coat
>You find her, upside down, flank in the air [arse over tit], face smooshed into the ground at the bottom of a small crater
>She groans and lifts her head, coming face to face with a huge black metal cube
>Its impact had formed a sizable pit and torn away the canopy, letting the bright morning light shine down
>A few nearby shrubs were even flaming
>“Found it!”
“Hah, good job. Now we wait.”
>Sky gets to her hooves and shakes her head in opposition
>”No, now we touch it, try to open it! It’s a box and boxes open.”
>You’re taken aback
“W-what!? No way, it’s not ours, and have you already forgotten what happened to the rest of this thing?”
>”Nah, but this part is different somehow.”
>Completely ignoring your premonition her hoof flies out and bashes against the cube
>The strike shakes the side a little but nothing more happens
“I don’t think you’re usual, destructive, approach is going to work.”
>”Mine may not, but aren’t you the one who specialises in breaking things?”
“Errr, that’s a pretty simplistic view, but yeah kind of.”
>”In that case you try bashing it open.”
“You can’t make me do that! It is not ours.”
>She glowers at you sulkily
>”Please Ratch! Please, please, please, please, please-
“Oh for the love of Celestia! I’ll do it, just be quite!”
>The sulk’s replaced by a cheery smile
>”Thanks!” Sky bleats as she bounces around
>A buck to the cube later and the wall blocking you just seems to fold away in a bunch of tiny interlocking squares
>You stumble back, shocked anything had happened at all
>Sky’s happy jumping intensifies as the wall slides away
>Her joy and your surprise are swiftly overcome by fear as the brush on the crater edge rustles and the most unnatural roar emanates from the shadows
>”Oh, this is how I die.” Sky whimpers
>You summon all your nerve and steel yourself for what had to be done
“Calm down, stay here, I’ll go check it out.”
>She nods
>”Be careful Ratch.”
>Your hooves moved slowly and apprehensively but eventually you reach the location of the noise
>Sky watches intently as you step ever further away

<| °_° |>

>Having warped out so close to the planet the equipment module hadn’t managed to fly too far from where the ship’s wreckage should have been
>Annoyingly, and entirely expected, the two natives had found the module and were currently poking at it
>It was standard practice not to interfere with planetary natives without having to go through an ethics committee first (Although as a Royal Knight you were given an almost unfair amount of leeway with most laws), and you were perfectly content roughing it in the forest until rescue arrived, but these curious beasts were forcing your hand
>You were also back in the trees, having heard the little things from afar
>Maybe you could scare them off somehow?
>You command the module door to open, hoping it to frighten the things away, before realising the ship's computer no longer existed
>You’d have to open it manually, with your Terran Credit disk
>Your hand drifts reflexively to your pocket to squeeze the small purple rectangle
>TC disks were invaluable, they worked as your wallet, keys, and for those unable to afford Nerual Nanonics, an interface with today’s more advanced tech
>So it is with great panic that you grasp around your clearly empty pocket
>Where was it? Where the FUCK was it!
>You were strong and all, but you did not fancy having to punch through steel with just your bare fists
>God. Fucking. Damnit!
>The two tiny horses were having some kind of horse-ish conversation, until the white mare hits your module
>Good luck little pony
>The wall stays unyielding and the mare turns to her companion
>After a brief series of neighs and wickers, then one repeated squeaking noise she seems to convince the stallion to try himself
>They could go at it all day and not make a dent
>The stallion bucks
>Your mind receives the automatic signal that the doors had opened from your TC Disk
>That Horse had your disk!
>You exhale in a long drawn out sigh
“Great.”
>You’ll just have to get that back then
>Breaking off a branch and using it to stir up the plants beneath, you gain the attention of your followers
>The branch you’d just grabbed had apparently been home to a squirrel analogue, which was currently rushing up your arm, angrily biting at your bicep
“Gah! Fuck! Stupid shit!”
>The flailing of your arm dislodges the annoying little prick and he goes flying away
>Your shout had really hooked the two ponies now, the stallion had even started approaching
>But his approach slows as he nears, giving you the opportunity to position yourself above him
>Your disk would be in his bag
>Hooking your legs over a branch you lower yourself down just enough to see the white mare watching her friend below you
>Still holding the stick you toss it over the trees and past the mare, its sudden thud twisting her head from her friend
>With that you lower down completely
>The stallion was mere centimetres away, staring into the shadows
>His pouch was right there and your hand slowly stretches out to grab at it
>Softly your fingers grasp around the small bag
>It had almost been lifted from his side when you’re interrupted by the loud whinnies of the mare behind you
>Shit
>The stallion flips around, pure terror on his foreign features as he finds you suspended inches from his face
>Fuck it. Honestly what the hell were you expecting with a plan like this? Screw sneaking, it’s not for you, you’re just going to grab what you need and so fucking be it, who cares?!
>Falling from the tree and rolling to your feet you stand before the petrified horse and his charging companion
>Before she can reach you the Credit disk had been removed from the pouch and secured back in your pocket
“Thanks for picking this up for me little dude.”
>Thudding hoof steps remind you of the approaching pony and you look around
>You had been preparing some form of self-defence, likely involving just lifting the thing from her hooves, until she slows to a stop before you; she approaches inquisitively
>Absolute relief floods you
>The natives were friendly! Plus, only one of them freaked out
>That meant this situation was going to be absurdly easier to deal with than you though
>No pony stomping required!
>A head tilt from the mare revealed an odd similarity in body language between your species
>She was curious, but who wouldn’t be the first time they see an alien?
>Once she comes within half a meter of you, the stallion from behind re-animates and begins neighing wildly at his friend
>She replies loudly with a few grunts, silencing the stallion
>What was happening here? You just wanted to get your shit and leave
>She closes the final space between you with a leap, pouncing upon your feet
>Before you know it she’s standing on her rear hooves and excitedly pushing against your thighs with her forelegs, all the while whinnying like a wild thing
>Finally her hooves wrap around one of your legs in some kind of hug, or attack, before stepping away
>All the while the brown-orange stallion had maneuvered his way back in front of you, he was rummaging through his sac, looking for what you’d stolen
>More like ‘retrieved’ actually
>The two exchange a few… words? The blue maned one then extends and presents her hoof to you
>Thus far their behaviour and gestures were remarkably human, so going on an educated guess you crouch down and extend your hand, wrapping it around the hoof, which eerily somehow grasps you back, and shake it up and down
>The mare beams a smile to you and jumps around happily, neighing something to her friend before tripping and barrelling into him, knocking them both down
>An involuntary chuckle leaves your lips
>You’d forgotten how fun it was to interact with xeno-terrestrials, or at least the one who’s culture wasn’t insane or didn’t have any kind of hivemind thing going on... or weren't made toxic gas
>And the cuteness of these damn things was off the charts
>The mare gets back up and attempts to drag you over to, and present you with, your equipment module
“Good job, I don’t know why I was hiding from you little guys before, just a soldier’s paranoia I guess.”
>They look a bit perturbed at your speaking, but why wouldn’t they, it’s an alien language
>You step into the small room that was your equipment module
>About the size of a large walk in closet it was
>Magnetized walls held boxes of ammo, weapons, electronics and survival gear
>Trying to move further into the room proves difficult as the two curious natives, having lost all fear of you, rush in past, the white mare darting between your legs almost tripping you up
“Bloody things.”

<| °_° |>

>[Earlier yo]
>Be Raan thar etc whatever you hate your name, it’s Ratchet for all you care
>You knew the bush had been moving and the noises had come from here, yet there was nothing to see
“Sky I don’t thi-
>”RATCH BEHIND YOU!”
>Sky’s shout echoes through your mind, a chill of fear ripples along your skin, slightly puffing your coat
>Swivelling around you’re faced with the alien, the upside down alien; his cold emotionless eyes ripping your soul apart
>Or they were just looking at you, fear made you think strange things
>He drops from the tree and snatches something from your bag faster than you can think
>It would have been that little rectangle
>You’d have gone to check if your body could respond to the instructions you were giving it
>The alien says something… alien, like a soft toned monkey or ape howl
>Paralysed in fear you watch as Sky charges up the crater slope towards the alien
>What was she doing?! She couldn’t be thinking of attacking it could she?
>The alien turns to watch her approach, which suddenly slows
>She looks at him in confusion before stopping just shy of him
>Awareness of your body slowly returns to you as concern drives you to action
“Sky! What are you doing? Get back! He could be dangerous.”
>”What? No way! Look at him, he’s just standing there, calm as anything, all he did was take something from your bag.”
>She was right, he wasn’t actually attacking, nor did he look particularly aggressive
>While distracted by Horizon Sky, you slowly edge back around from behind him
>A quick search of your bag tells you he did indeed take the rectangle
>You look up from your bag. There was a gleam to Sky’s eyes, one you didn’t like
>Suddenly she dives onto the alien and clambers to her hind legs, balancing herself and tapping against the alien’s legs
>To your utter astonishment the alien barely reacts to her sudden actions
>Honestly you expected a reflexive kick to send her soaring to the horizon
>”Alien! Welcome to Equestria! I will be your emissary today and your first contact with our species!”
>She stops to take a breath
>”We know your ship is all broken to bits and black magic stuff, so we’re here to help! Look, we even got your box open!”
>Oh Celestia what was she doing? What kind of an introduction?
>That gleam was still in her eyes
>”And while you’re here you will be staying with us!”
>/Will be/ there was no arguing the point, she was planning on taking it back home and there was no way to stop her
>This alien was going to have a fun time
>Shockingly Sky attempts to hug the creature’s leg
>”And you’re so adorable! You’re getting a make-over and you can have my bed for the night, but I’ll also be in it, I needed a new teddy bear anyhow.”
>Her hoof shoots out
>”Do you agree?”
“Sky I don’t think it can understand-
>The creature’s paw moves out and wraps around Sky’s comparatively diminutive hoof, giving it a firm shake
>…
“What was that!?”
>She smiles widely at the alien before jumping for joy
>”Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Look at me!” She yells, voice gaining mystic tone, “The Alien Whisperer!”
“I don’t think that counts as making an agreement.”
>She bounces towards you
>”Nonsense you saw it he shoo-AH!”
>Unable to stop the momentum of her jump, she flies into you, knocking the two of you to the ground
>The alien makes an odd hooting howl, guttural and from the stomach. Was it laughter?
>You scramble back up, Sky already dragging the surprisingly willing alien to his big metal box
>He says something, but the two of you can only listen unknowingly
"You know we can't take him home, he's too big."
>"We'll make it work. Now then..."
>She turns to the alien
>”Come on, we opened it up, do what you have to and we’ll be off in no time.”
>The situation was absurd, but everything was so… amicable? Cheery?
>Just plain strange
>You were most certainly no longer afraid, Horizon’s immediate informality, even with the language barrier, had somehow disarmed any tension in the situation
>He was a reasonable alien
>He steps into the box which, as it turned out, was a large room full of strange looking tech
>The very sight of it had you drooling
>Sky darts through the alien’s legs, almost tripping him up, and looks about eagerly
>Unable to resist yourself you rush past the alien too
>The first thing to draw your attention was an odd shiny flat rectangle held to the wall
>It had some sort of screen and by the look of it would comfortably fit in the alien’s paw
>He wasn’t watching you, so if somehow found its way into your hooves
>It felt like it had been held in place via a magnetic force
>What is this thing? How does it work?
>Rolling it between your hooves you’re overcome by a sense of dread
>You can feel your cutie mark, or special talent really, conspiring against you, as your internal questioning initiates your most peculiar method of learning
>Unable to stop you can feel the little trembles from your hooves working into the device
>As your hooves move along its surface the screen flashes on, showing stream of odd symbols running along it
>The screen’s image blinks and jumps about as your odd, and suddenly uncontrollable, skill comes to an end
>The rectangle breaks apart in your hooves, magically split into each of its individual components, the pieces clattering to the floor
“…Fuck.”

<| °_° |>

>Be Anon 096
>It’d only been a few seconds but the two natives were all up in your stuff
>Well they couldn’t cause any harm, all your equipment was military grade
“Now then, what do I need?”
>Probably everything
>They both stop prodding at your stuff to look at you, your voice catching their attention
>The stallion was trying to hide something behind himself
“What have you got there little fella?”
>You try to gently scoot him out of the way to see what he was hiding, but he pushes back against you
>There’s a brief and worried exchange between the two of them, with the mare getting quite angry, but the stallion doesn’t budge
“You annoying tiny beast of burden.”
>You switch tactics and put your hand under the pony’s chest, effortlessly lifting him up and away
>He struggles about but there’s not much more he can do
>The little guy had been hiding one of your Personal processors, the casing broken and electronics in pieces
>You bring the little horse in your palm to face you
>He looks away terrified and embarrassed
“Are you serious little guy? You’ve been here less than ten seconds.”
>You look back at the scrap heap. Every individual piece had been pulled apart
>/How/ did he do that?
>He looks almost in tears so you put him back down and leave it at that
>Honest mistake, plus you had others
>You pick up the broken piece of electronics, much to the stallion’s dismay, planning to toss it, but after reconsidering you drop the ruined electronics down into the pouch on his side
“You can have it if you want, shit’s fucked now.”
>The act seems to make the two of them rather happy which in turn leaves you feeling elated
>But now the mare didn’t have anything. You have to be fair
>You shouldn’t do this, but these natives are too cool
>Pulling a palm sized sphere from the wall you lean down and offer it to the mare
>She approaches you and inquires… horse-ishly
>Knowing you have her attention you grasp the sphere on each end and twist
>It lights up a glorious glowing bright blue
>Both ponies move closer, mesmerised by the device
>Twisting it back the glow fades away
>It was just a marker light, nothing special
>You hold it out for the mare, now that you’d displayed how to work it, and she grabs it from you with her muzzle
“You shouldn’t put strange things in your mouth pony.”
>She just looks at you
“Yes that’s right, I am speaking, blee, blee, blaa, blaa, bloo, bloo.”
>She continues looking, not a hint of comprehension upon her features
“Nothin’ aye?.”
>What the hell were you expecting? They’re aliens. It’s time to get to work anyway
>Pulling off a large rucksack from the wall you load up on ammunition, your E-mag rifle, food rations, medical nanonics, Neural Nanonic sets, a fission blade, a mapping satellite and just about everything else on the walls
>In the end you required two bags
>As perfectly designed as your body was, lifting and carrying both of those, each holding hundreds of pounds of equipment, and still maintaining a safe manoeuvrability, was entirely out of the question
>Even your new strange companions looked concerned with the two stuffed bags, but they were more amazed you could lift them at all, particularly after they’d both attempted it themselves the moment you’d put the bags on the ground
>They both only managed to struggle and flop around your floor
“Haha, you guys are the living end.”
>You had no true reason to be worried, as while by yourself lifting and moving such things would have been a mean feat, you had a little assistance
>Situated at the back of the room was a small button, at about chest height
>You press it

<| °_° |>

>Be Ratchet
>The alien had not only given you the parts of what you’d broken, he’d gone and given Sky a magic blue light
>What was up with this guy? You break his stuff and he rewards you?
>He moves off and begins pulling random things from the wall
>”I guess he likes us.” Sky says, spitting the orb into your bag
>”Thanks for carrying that for me!”
“Hooray.” You deadpan
>”What do you think he’s doing?”
>Thus far he’d filled one bag and had started on another
“I’d say he’s packing up just about everything here.”
>”You mean he’s actually planning on staying with us!?” She yelps excitedly
“I didn’t say that, but he is planning on going somewhere.”
>”Well we have to keep following him, it’s like a stray kitten, he needs our help still.”
>Did he though? So far he’d shown he was very capable at surviving just fine, and he had magical technology you’d never seen in your life
>Before you know it he’s finish, tossing two hefty bags to the ground
>Sky approaches them cautiously
>”How in the world does he think he’s taking all that with him? They’re like…”
>She pushes against the bags and flops around in a poor effort to lift the bag
>”Like a gazillion tonnes.”
“Ha, yeah right.”
>You trot over and give it a go yourself but the bag wouldn’t budge
>True to her word the bag would appear to be a gazillion tonnes
>In the time you’d been struggling about the alien had pushed something on the wall
>A segment slides away and a cloud of fog rolls out, lights briefly blinding you
>You take in an involuntary breath at what’s revealed
>It was a might set of armour, of that you had no doubt, just formed to fit the strange beast’s physiology, as opposed to a ponies
>Sleek, rugged and imposing, the silvery armour stood fixed to a frame [Hellgate london paladin armour for your reference]
>Soft purple lights lined the collar and ran along the sides outlining segments of the apparel
>It was. It was… Oh my, you wanted one!!
>Sky didn’t share your immediate love
>”That looks dangerous.”
“Did you say cool.”
>”Dangerous.”
“Yep, I heard cool as heck.”
>The alien smiles at you, clearly for an alien there were similarities between you
>He steps into the tiny side room and the door slides closed once again
>It only takes a few minutes, the two of you waiting patiently, before he steps back out, even taller, thicker, and much more terrifying
>But as the initial fear fades you find something left over
>It was awe
>You turn to Sky
“I think he’s a warrior, he has armour and all.”
>Rather than excitement you see fear on Sky’s features
>”You don’t think that means he’s planning on invading our planet?”
“No, I doubt he’d keep us alive, let alone let us in his storage box, if he were planning an invasion.”
>”Then why’d he put on his armour?”
>Her question’s answered by the alien, who leans down, lifts both bags with a single paw and tosses them over his shoulder
“I think that’s why.”
>That’s some special armour, not like the stuff pony guards wore
>The alien says… something, and walks out
>”Come on Ratch, let’s keep going.”

<| °_° |>

>Be Royal Knight Anon 096
>You’d just equipped your power armour and were ready to go
>Your new small companions were not, currently stuck in some conversation, likely about you and your new appearance
>Powered up you easily lift the two bags over your shoulder
“I’m leaving so if you’re coming, hurry up.”
>Why do you bother speaking? They can’t understand you
>You step from the storage room and pull out your mapping satellite
>You set it on the ground and offer it to the rust orange horse
>As you expected he pokes at it, causing it to activate
>The satellite broadcasts to you the initiation of its micro-distortion field and the ovaloid sphere shoots into the sky
>It’ll take it about an hour to properly initiate so for now you’re still stuck with your painfully human vision
>It took some getting used to after spending weeks with the near omnipotent sight of a Terran spacecraft. The mapping satellite wouldn’t be that much of an improvement but it would be nice to have a constant birds eye view of your surroundings throughout the electromagnetic spectrum
>Sigh
>Your two native friends stand watching the ever shrinking satellite
>So what’s up next?
>It’d be good to see if your sleeping module survived
>It’s electronic tag must have because it was currently pinging in your visions HUD
>Only a click away
>Even better, after accessing your memory patterns of the crash for what little information you had on the surrounding landscape, revealed the forest’s edge to be a mere hundred meters away, the rest of your journey would be through an expansive wheat field, a nice and gentle landscape
>Definitely your new destination
>Looking behind your shoulder you see the two ponies following you through the forest
>Adorable
>The trek didn’t take long, particularly after clearing the forest, yet it still took some effort
>Your reward was disappointing though
>Approaching the crater left behind by the sleeping module, nearby wheat still burning from the impact, you find a puddle of intensely reactive liquid plasma, pooled in the very centre.
>Everything it came into contact with was essentially vaporized as the goo tore the electrons from their very atomic structure
>As a result what was your bedroom was now simultaneously evaporating away, boring through the earth from the incredible heat, and reacting with literally everything in the vicinity
>The heat and light from it was intense, bordering on painful
>Your two little companions come bustling from the wheat field and stop beside you, their conversation dying away at the sight of your destroyed bedroom
>You and your horse companions watch a long time as the plasma tears further into the earth
>Once it had sunk out of sight the hole left behind look like a portal to hell, spouts of flame occasionally erupting out
>A truly magnificent sight, although now your home was an uncontrolled death soup
>It’d run out of reactive material soon enough
>But how could this have happened?
>The sleeping module hadn’t been designed for durability as the equipment module had and so upon impact it turned to a very helpful and sheltering goo
>Ha, sarcasm
>It was likely the impact caused the little fusion generator under the floor meltdown
>Fail safe mechanisms installed with the generator must have contained the detonation to the best of its ability, resulting it a tiny, localised, super pressurized blast, giving you the soup you’d just watch sink away
>The one surviving piece of the module was the most useless part; in space travel that is
>On the ground, beside a tiny splinter of wall casing flung from the wreckage before its unfortunate end was your pillow
>From your H.U.D you can see the module’s electronic tag had been located within that single surviving splinter of wall
“Well this is just great.”
>You look around at the endless and gently swaying fields of wheat, well, a wheat analogue, in the morning light as you take stock of your situation
>Right now all you can do is wait for rescue
>Without your ship you couldn’t even check the star system for your mission objective, whatever this “important’ thing was. An educated guess would say it’s some new weapon
>So what do you do?
>Well what you were trying to achieve just before. Find shelter, some place to wait it out
>Initial thoughts lead you to the idea of digging a small cave some ways down the shaft your old room had just created. It would be sheltered, stay warm and be well hidden
>But when you look back to the crater to see the two ponies staring down the hole you realise there would be no point to hiding, the natives had already found you and the jig was up
”I hope you ponies have a place I can crash for a few days.”
>You don’t get a reply from either, but the mare does look up and smile, galloping up the crater, snatching your pillow on the way up, presenting it to you proudly, the corner already damp with saliva
>You take it and her muzzle widens from smile to grin
“I’ll take that as a good sign.”

<| °_° |>

>Back to Ratchet the hatchet, or pony storm coming, hatchet coming
>Sky and yourself had followed your new alien friend out of the forest and into your town’s wheat crop
>Miles and miles of it
>Occasionally you’d look to the sky, hoping to spy the ovaloid the alien had gotten you to launch
>Not far off in the distance were wisps of black smoke rising from yet another crash site
“Did this guy crash like, six ships or something?”
>”It was a big crash Ratch, I’m sure there are parts of his ship everywhere.” She answers
>Makes more sense than what you’d been thinking
>On the flat ground the alien suddenly outpaces the two of you with easy, by accident you’d wager, cutting through the crop like a scythe
>But you no longer needed him for directions, you only had to follow the smoke
>You come bustling through the wheat to face the crater you’d expected, but you’re also met with a mysterious puddle of goo
>It shone a blinding white and hurt your eyes if you looked too long
>Something about it looked… Demonic, particularly as it sank deeper and deeper into the earth, digging itself down to the planets core
>”What the hay was that!?” Sky blurts, stumbling her way down the crater to see the goo up close before it sank too far to see
>You accompany her down, also wishing to get a closer look, but the two of you abruptly stop as great plumes of flame shoot forth
“Y-you know what, I think I’ll just stick with the alien for now.”
>”Me too.”
>The alien had just been standing there, watching morosely
>”Aw, look at the poor fella. He looks so sad. I wonder what that used to be?” Sky says, pointing to the flaming hole
“I don’t know, the alien does though.”
>She promptly turns to the alien, intending to ask him despite the language barrier, but he’d wandered off to inspect something
>It was a pillow
>Sky gasps
>”It was his house! His house died!” She shouts, sounding quite upset, her lower lip quivering ever so slightly
>Once again she makes for the hole, as if upon viewing the goo the structure would reform itself
>Or maybe she was curious to see it, now the roaring spouts of flame had disappeared
>Either way you once again move down with her
>Behind you the alien could be heard climbing to the rim of the crater, having decided there was nothing of value here
>You continue to the lip of the great shaft the goo had created
>Somewhere far down below a small dot of white could be seen, broiling away at the earth
“Yep, I’d say it’s dead alright. Why are you so sad about it anyway? I thought you wanted the alien to stay with us?”
>Sky’s face immediately brightens
>”Gosh, you’re right! What was I thinking, this is excellent!”
“Don’t say that near the alien.” You reprimand
>Speaking of; said alien shouts something incomprehensible down to the two of you
>Horizon Sky takes it as a prompt for action
>”I know what to do.”
>She rushes up the crater, nabs the pillow and presents it to the alien
>He takes it into his armoured paw and grunts something
>”I’ll take that as a good sign!” Sky says with much enthusiasm
>You trot up to stand beside your friend
>The alien remains motionless, looking at the two of you, almost… expectantly
”What’s he doing?”
>“Waiting for us to take him home silly!”
>She bounces around and makes for where you think the main road to town should be
>The alien dutifully follows her without a word, or grunt
>You don’t join them, the absurdity of your morning finally hitting you
>Just another day in Equestria you suppose. Ponies have dealt with stranger things
>Gathering yourself you gallop off to catch up with Sky and your new friend
>It took much longer than you’d expected but eventually your trio finds their way back to the road
>You’d in fact made it out of the wheat field right at the wreckage of your go cart
>The little engine sat a few yards from the wreck, easily salvageable. So you grab it; one day it would be powering the cart Mk II
>The alien grins at you while Sky claims the engine to be a lost cause
>You’ll prove her wrong
>You’d have continued onwards had the creature not come over to you, squat down to your height and presented his gloved paw
“Hey buddy, what do you want?”
>”He wants to see the engine dummy.”
“And how do you know that?”
>”How do you not? He has the same body language and gestures as all the prehensile limbed species. Minotaur’s dragons, griffons and the like.”
>Sky was right. It was a common gesture requesting for something to be placed in the paw
>In this instance he clearly wanted to see the engine
“Alright alien, you can have a look at it.” You pull out the engine and roll it over to him
>He takes it only momentarily as he looks over it warily before giving it back
“That was… pointless.”
>”He’s an alien Ratch, what do you expect?” She questions, skipping down the large dirt and cobble road, alien obediently in toe
>You sigh
“Next stop, home.”
>A home you didn’t actually own; it was a place you rented out with Horizon Sky
Nestled just outside the town. Literally, the sign welcoming ponies to Haytrail could be seen just down the road from it
>It was an excellent place. Away from the general populace it allowed you to indulge in your destructive constructive hobby
>As for Sky? Well as far as you could tell she was happy with just existing, the location in which she did that had never been an issue for her
>What a happy life she led
>”Dang it!”
"What is it Sky?”
>”The last time we cleaned the house was after Wild Grape’s party, the place is a sty! Gosh this is going to be so embarrassing. This is all your fault!” She yells accusingly
>Well she wasn’t wrong, approximately 50% of the filth in your house had come from the junk parts left over from your engineering projects
>The other 50% came from Sky’s art supplies, half-finished projects and commissions and never opened magic books
>You always wondered why she got those, for yes, your companion was indeed a unicorn, but she was shockingly bad at magic, only really mastering levitation
>She didn’t care, it was all she needed to make her art and so she never really made of focus of her heritage
>She was a good enough artist you’d let her hang most her pieces around the house
“It’ll be fine I’m sure. He did just fall from space so he should be fine with a little mess.”

<| °_° |>

>Royal Knight Anon 096 reporting for Green duty sir
>Your two native friend were mid horse conversation so you silently and very slowly plod along with them, their tiny legs hindering your movement speed
>Honestly this would go a lot faster if you just carried them with your bags, you had your armour on so it’d be no problem
>But then of course how could they lead you to, to…. where ever they were taking you? Home you assumed
>Unable to speak horse you instead go over the memory pattern you’d stored of that most peculiar little motor the stallion had taken
>He’d taken it from what looked to be the wreckage of some rudimentary 20th century earth style wheeled vehicle
>Despite their lack of fingers these creatures had technologically evolved quite well
>Images of the motor enter your mind
>At your cursory scan of the thing it would seem to be a kind of ancient electric motor, but for whatever reason it had little gems embedded all along it, their insides looked to crackle with an unknown energy
>Accessing the catalogue of known locomotive power supplies stored in your nanonics you can find no technological match with anything human engineered, or from any of the other known species
>Without the proper equipment you were left only to guess at how the device operated
>Truly a mystery when a species finds an unknown method of harnessing and utilizing energy
>This planet may make a great tourist spot, but some of the private sector R&D companies would pay enough for a small planet to get that little engine in that little pony’s little bag
>The journey you were on wasn’t too long
>Not another soul was to be seen on the way
>Likely to do with the time. Judging by the sun’s position it must still be early morning
>The end stop of your journey is what you believe to be the native’s house. Not far in the distance you could see the beginnings of a small town
>The house was obscured by a mighty hedge with a single tiny gate entrance
>You have to crouch down to pass through the hedge-gate, revealing the building beyond
>It was a simple two story white gone grey cottage.
>It’s outside was severely dilapidated, paint chips had peeled off at places and the entire thing had been overrun by vines
>Weeds grew from the gutters and the windows sported several dead and dying flowers along their bases
>The lawns were tidy
>All in all it looked magnificent, a quaint and rustic masterpiece. Coming from Terra such things were a wholly unique sight
“This place is my kind of crash landing getaway, you guys really know how to live.”
>They both bark something at you but you’re faced with that familiar issue
“We really need to find a way around the language barrier, but first.”
You gesture towards the front door and they scuttle to it
>The door creeks open with a groan as they push through
>You follow them through the small door, ducking low to avoid cracking your skull on the frame and dump your equipment on the extraordinarily messy floor
>Looks like these natives know how to party
>Inside you could stand to your full height but your head was in the rafters
>The feel of it all has you recalling an ancient visual recording of a popular movie in the 21st century
>Something about hobbits and a ring, you really only remember that large wizard fumbling about a tiny house
>You now knew those feels
>They watch in awe as your suit hisses and peels from your body, allowing you to step free
>It helped a little with the height but not much
>To your disappointment the weight of your armour had cracked the wooden floorboards beneath it
"So sorry about that."
>The white mare neighs happily to you and trots over to a small wooden table in a little kitchen area
>There were only two tiny chairs, one she pulls out for you, the other she takes for herself
>It was more like a foot stool so you take a pass, being the gracious guest, and leave it for the stallion
>You instead take to your knees, sitting seiza style, leaving you only a little under two heads above them
>A small tea set gently floats from the kitchen sink to the table, the tea pot pouring out three cups unaided
>...
>...
>Well this place just got a lot more interesting
>No wonder they weren't freaking out when they first saw you, they must already be spacefaring if they have tech of that level
"How'd you do that? Anti-grav fields? Your generator must be tiny to have it hidden somewhere here."
>She sips her tea and smiles
>You needed to pass this language barrier and fast
>The UTNC had official documentation on how to do such things, but you hadn't downloaded any neural patterns on the subject before leaving on your mission
>Crashing on an alien planet wasn't part of the plan
>The two ponies look at you expectantly and all too creepily, awaiting your first sip
>If they'd poisoned the drink they'd be disappointed by its effect on you
>You have a gulp
>It had been sweetened with honey and by the taste was based on a rose analogue
>It was simply divine
>Unsure of how to properly show gratification all you can do is smile at them and take another gulp
>This stuff truly was great, almost magically enhanced for flavour
>At every turn this place threw you opportunities to monopolies on a new galactic business
>You could see it now, "Anon096's pony brewed tea"
>While you were only joking about it you honestly could make a killing with such a simple thing
>Humanity's thirst for culture, especially now they'd conquered their own corner of the universe, was in the extreme
>Anything off-world was considered a delicacy, whether or not it tasted nice or not was just an added bonus
>And with the price of space travel it made things very expensive, but still affordable, and highly desirable
>Heck the strange pony portraits and landscapes hung around the walls would be worth trillions of credits to stupid rich people
>But it wasn’t your place, you were a soldier, not a merchant, you had to take a minimal impact approach
>A plate of scones and a pot of jam flash onto the table in a shower of sparks
>Personalised fabricators? Jesus they must be beyond even humanities tech level
>Now you were very happy you'd crashed here
>They eagerly dig in so you wait until they'd finished before grabbing a couple for yourself
>What a strange day
>Things had gone from a hundred to zero real fucking fast here
>Morning tea with a pair of sentient pastel horses just after almost dying several times in the space of a few seconds
>Maybe you actually did die in that worm hole? Or currently are and this is all the fever dream of a mind trying to comprehend the nothing between space-time you would have been ejected into
>If that were the case it was a nice way to go
>But as you sat eating with the two conversing ponies your mind drifts to one thought
>What are you going to do now?
>No doubt that was what the ponies were talking about
>The stallion taps your forearm to gain your attention
"What is it little guy?"
>"Neigh!"

<| °_° |>

>Ratch the machinist
>The moment the alien stepped into your home you heard the floorboards crack under the weight of his suit
>You weren’t getting that bond back from the landlord
>He hisses out of his suit and bumbles around a little, before kneeling beside the table as Sky prepares morning tea
>"Come on Ratch take a seat, he didn’t seem to want it."
"Sure, sure. You know how strange this is right? We’ve gone from almost dying in a go-kart crash to having morning tea with an alien."
>Sky floats out some tea and pours everypony a cup
>The alien looks at the tea with astonishment for whatever reason
>”Hey, friendship is magic right? We’re just being friendly. It’s the Equestrian way.”
>She poofs up some scones and the creature’s eyes near double in size
"I think he's never seen magic before." You say as you load up a plate of food
>"You don’t say?" She asks sarcastically
>"You know he's an alien? Why would he know what unicorns are?"
>You nod thoughtfully while taking a messy bite of scone
>Choosing to ignore the now fidgety guy beside you, you take out the many pieces of the device you'd broken apart
>It was complex beyond anything you'd seen, the electronics were inconceivable
>But sometimes all you need was a little magic on your side
>While only an earth pony like many of your kind you did possess an innate magic, one linked to your cutie mark
>There was a reason you'd called your talent both destructive and constructive earlier
>The very same way you magically disassembled the device you could, with a whole lot of effort, somehow slide every piece back into place
>It only took a few moment before you were clicking the casing back over and pressing the start button
>As perhaps the greatest bonus to your magical reassembly was the fact that afterwards you just kind of… /knew/ how to work whatever you'd fixed
>It was the reason everypony thought you were so smart, but the knowledge was all instinctual, you couldn’t actually explain how the things worked
>You look up to the alien while waiting for the thing to turn on
“So what do we do with him?”
>”I think I’ll show him around the house, and my- his- OUR bed, then he gets that make over.”
“You know there’s no way he actually agreed to letting you sleep in the same bed as him and do you really want that next to you? He’s terrifying.”
>”-Fyingly adorable! It’s would be like snuggling a kitty!”
“Oh my Celestia what is wrong with you?”
>She grins at you
>”A lot of things.”
“Luna help me.”
>”You know you’ve actually given me a good idea Ratch.”
“Not another one of your “plans” Sky.”
>”Shut up. Look, one thing we have to do it get this guy to meet the Princesses. We should have some kind of formal special meeting or something smart like that, ya know?”
“… Good idea.”
>You hated to admit it, but she was totally right
>The small device at your hooves flickers to life and brings up the home screen
>What a home screen was and how you knew that was its name you didn’t know
>You look to the alien to present him with your success
>He was fixated on his scones so you tap him to get his attention
>"Ogragraa grra ook?"
>Damn moon speak
"Check this out!"
>You show off the once again living device
>His jaw hits the floor
"Yeah that’s what I though."
>Sky giggles at the poor beast while you get to work fiddling with the magic touch screen
>You had no idea what the symbols on the screen where but your innate knowledge was guiding your hoof to something good, you just knew it
>Sky leans over to check on what you were doing
>"Oh cool dude ya fixed it! How’s it work?"
"I’ve no idea and you should know that by now."
>"Then what are you doing?"
"I still don’t know but it’ll be good."

<| °_° |>

>Back to anon096
>The stallion presents you with the previously disassembled processor unit, completely repaired, screen flickering to life
>Oh come on! This place was like magic! Even compared to top tier Terran technologies
>The rust coloured pony leans back, happy at the screen coming on, then moves forward inquisitively, giving it a poke and horse laughing with joy as the device detects his touch and moves to the home screen display
>The reaction was a bit odd for a species so advanced, maybe it was a nostalgia thing, like looking at a toy from childhood
>No. He was so confused by it just a little earlier
>Then what was going on?
>The mare happily chirps away with her friend as he fiddles about
>He wouldn’t be able to comprehend what he was doing with that would he?
>The mare leans forward to watch her friend closer
>While the mare’s mane had once been braided it would seem that after some incident it had become tangled and wild, hiding something underneath
>As she leans the mop of blue hair shifts, revealing a slender looking bone growing forth from above her forehead
>Was that a birth defect? Or...
>The Terran annals of history have stored in them every piece of information known to man
>Among them where millions of documents devoted to the concept of unicorns
>You'd never accessed them yourself but like many things in this galaxy you'd learnt of them through exposure alone
>Humanity still loved its monsters and magic now as much as it had millennia ago
>That all did nothing to help overcome your astonishment at the discovery of such a beast
>The universe was a big place it only made sense for something like a horned horse to evolve somewhere
>It’s just that… Well…
>Her horn glows an iridescent blue as the Marker light you’d presented to her comes floating out from her friend’s bags
>Yeah… magic
>You quickly check to make sure your SNI recording was still active
>The UTNC would need to see this
>She clicks the light with her mind and it glows a vibrant purple
>Oh yeah, you forgot they changed colour
>By the look on her face she was thrilled by it, floating the device in her friends face, rapidly flashing the light on and off, colour changing each time
>Eventually she settles on a setting that slowly moved through all the colours of the rainbow
>The mare was truly ecstatic at the discovery
>You look back to the stallion who'd gone quiet
>He'd managed to open up a entertainment module, some jumping game by the look of it
>He was truly mesmerized
>The mares horn lights up again as the now empty dishes move over to the sink
>You were going to figure out this "magic" someday to be sure
>A biological method of external energy manipulation was your first and best guess
>Humanity had certainly dabbled in biotech, creating massive biological habitats, controlled by their own neural AI
>They were a fusion of a genuine living synaptic network that spanned their entire girth and an extensive electrical network interlaced throughout their CarboTanium-composite shells
>They were truly sentient biological creatures (subservient to humans), and they were massive size, ranging an impressive 1000-2000km in diameter, housing millions
>Truly they were gentle giants that orbited around star systems, feeding off the many asteroids that impacted them through their slow (relatively) travels, converting them to raw materials for production
>Thankfully they weren't capable of FTL travel, it'd be unfair
>Newly growing habitats would often setup shop in asteroid rings where material was plentiful for a swifter growth
>They were the epitome of humanities more peaceful tech, a splendour of man, a creation to rival gods
>Sadly that was a genuine sentiment shared by many who claimed the living creations heresy
>As a consequence relations to the habitat dwellers had become strained
>For you that meant never having been inside one, you’d just seen pictures
>But still as impressive as all that crap was, this simple, backwater planet, had somehow evolved a creature that could use its biology to manipulate reality
>It put everything man had created to shame
>Shit was fucked up yo’
>A yelp of dismay from the stallion has you looking over just in time to see the personal processor shake apart in his vibrating hooves
>Once again the poor fellow is left with a pile of scrap
>He groans and slams the table, yelling something but it was barely audible over the raucous laughter coming from the mare
>You're going to say that was an accident on his part
>You grin
“Silly ponies.”
>You can feel your knees growing sore on the hardwood floors but if need be you could stay there unmoving for hours
>Thankfully you didn’t have that need and so you switch to your preferred Indian style sit, lowering you even closer to their height
>The two converse forcing you to only guess as to what they spoke of
>You wonder... there could well be a way around their language, but they wouldn't like it
>Maybe you'd try it later if you could somehow explain what you'd have to do to them
>They both push back from the table and stand beside you
>"Whinny?" Questions the mare (you think she questions)
"Sure thing."
>She smiles, flashing her tiny teeth and warming the cockles of your soldier's heart with her cuteness
>"Neigh neigh!"
>She grabs you by the hand with a hoof and tugs you from your sitting
>With morning tea over it must be tour time
>That indeed was it. First up the obvious and closest choice; the kitchen, right where you were
>She and the stallion move around waving their hooves at the primitive tech about the place
>A gas stove, helium cooled fridge, Ha! Copper based pipe systems!
>Okay now you had no doubt, they weren't advanced
>One thing they did have matching humanity were the basic utensils, knives, forks and the like
>Some shit just never changed, the fork was at the peak of its evolution
>Kitchen turned inside out in display they gallop happily to your bags
>You follow them, occasionally ducking your head, looking back to the mess they'd created in their excited wake
>They try to push your bags across the floor toward you, so you lean down and heave them up with a pained grunt
>You totter around a while, about to lose your balance
>You'd been spending too long in space again
>Before you can move a leg out to stabilise yourself you're steadied by a soft blue glow
>The mare smirks in boast at having caught you
>Jeeze magic felt strange
>The next stop was upstairs, where thankfully the roof was very lofty
>The room they'd take you to must be the mares judging by the vanity loaded with makeup and hair... mane products
>She bounds into the room and leaps onto the bed, horn lighting up
>The bags you'd been holding over your shoulders slowly drift forwards
>She strained with the effort, small beads of sweat forming on her forehead
>As the bags slide off your shoulders they immediately fall to the ground, the weight of them proving too much for the mare
>She neighs disappointedly which sadly has you feeling beyond relieved
>Magic had limits, and by the look of the sweaty mare took a physical toll
"This is your room pony, why'd you take my bags here?"
>"Neigh!"
>She jumps off the bed and unzips your two bags, tightly packed contents spilling out
"Hey what are you doing? Don't do that!"
>She looks up at you innocently and smiles so sweetly
>"Whinny?"
>Poignantly she thrusts her hoof at you, then to the ground, then imitates sleeping by closing her eyes and resting her head on her hooves
"Got it, you want me to sleep here. Well if you're fine giving up your bed."
>She didn’t know what you said but she nodded nonetheless
>Surprisingly the bed might actually fit you, well, your feet would stick out but that was fine
>Why was that thing so damn big?
>A neigh from the stallion behind you gets you to turn around
>He gestures for you to follow
>Next was his room
>Aside from the bed in the corner you could make out anything other than half built pieces of scrap
>Engineer pony? That would explain the weird tattoo on his butt
>Then that would make all the art the mares and explain her butt mark
>That was a clear sign of an oppressive government

>You pick up one of the things the guy’d been working on
>It was a gyroscope of some kind, but it was unbalanced
>Activating your visual implants to scan the broken device it provides you with a feed of detailed info on its condition
>All it took was a slight bend and you'd set the thing in place and spinning, holding it upon the tip of your finger before giving it to the stallion, good as new
>He looks at you with such gratitude it hurt, he'd done all the work by building it, you only helped a little by finishing it off
>The following rooms shown to you included the bathroom, lounge area, the backyard, and for some reason the insides of some rather sparse closets
>Near everything was old, worn and second hand
>These pony must haven’t a lot of money, yet you loved the quaint style of everything
>This planet has to be your retirement world
>With the tour over you stand beside the two as they discuss something
>Whatever it was the end result had the stallion walking off to grab a quill and scroll and the mare dragging you back upstairs, rust orange stallion shaking his head as you went
>He was looking at you with such empathy
>You must be getting led to your death

<| °_° |>

>You were the best damn tour giver ever! No matter what ratch thought
>Horizon Sky: tour master!
>The alien looked so happy with everything you'd shown him
>He did seem a little resistant to leaving his stuff in your room, which had you a little worried, but thankfully through your master charades game you'd explained the situation to him
>Every time he smiled it warmed your heart
>So Celestia damned adorable!
>"Hey Sky? Over here! Stop eye banging the alien." Ratch says, waving his hoof to get you attention
>You can't stop the blush that rushes to your cheeks
>That's not what you were doing!
"Shut it Ratch! You're lucky I don't clobber you for that one. What is it?"
>"You're grand tour is over, he totally liked my room more by the way, so now we need to tell him we're going to Celestia."
>What he said irked you
>The alien did seem to like his room more!
"Well you can get onto that, I've got a makeover to do, we can't be having him meeting our princesses all gruff and post-crash looking now do we?"
>He sighs at you
>Gosh it was annoying when he did that!
>"You can try but I'm telling you he didn’t agree to that."
>You narrow your eyes at him
"Didn’t I tell you to shut it?"
>"You were the one that kept talking."
"SHUT IT!"
>You grab the mindlessly smiling alien
>"Come on you, let’s leave Ratch to his communications quest."
>"Not a quest."
"Endeavour then." You reply dryly
>You leave him shaking his head
>Back in your room you seat the alien down at your vanity
>With him sitting down it was easy to reach his head
>You go about gathering everything you'd need
>Which was literally everything you had
>Tablespace now full of your beauty products the alien eyes you wearily, possibly a twinge of concern in his features
>Could Ratch have been right?
>You levitate out some cleaning wipes to get the grime off his face
>As the cloth moves to his face he recoils and bats it away
>The cloth flies from your telekinetic grasp so you pick it up and try again
>Same result
>Okay! One more try!
>This time when you float up the cloth he grabs it and tosses it away in annoyance
>...
>...
>*sniff* *sniff*
>Don't cry. Come one you've got this girl! Don’t cry
>Your lip quivers

<| °_° |>

>Anon096 reporting sir
>Your worries would seem to have been true when the small cleaning cloth appears in front of your face
>Startled you bat it away on instinct
>The mare didn’t seem phased and goes in for round two
>You flick it away
"No pony. I draw the line at this."
>The cloth comes in again so you grab and throw it angrily
>Damn pony you weren’t having makeup put on!
>You were too insecure about your masculinity for that
>The mare looks at you with such betrayal in her eyes
>Immediate regret was all you felt
>Things were only to worsen for you as the little pony’s lips quiver and tears well at the base of her eyes, threatening to pour like the rain
>Your heart was breaking
"Oh no, no, no. Pony please don’t cry, I'm sorry I didn’t mean it that was an accident I actually meant to clean my face with it!"
>You lumber over to the thrown rag and vigorously rub your face
"See!"
>Slowly she blinks back the tears and rubs her eyes, a smile growing on her muzzle
>Oh thank god, that pain could compared to any bullet wound you'd received
>But now look what you'd gotten yourself into
>A number of foreign pony beauty products slowly move towards you
>Someone please help
>Your pleas were to fall on deaf ears it would seem

<| °_° |>

>The small demon pony on your left shoulder was cackling wildly at the angel pony on your right at its recent loss
>Crying to get your way, it worked every time, even on aliens!
>He obediently sits down and accepts your face scrubbing
>He needed to be nice and clean before you could do any real work and right now he was all dirty! Even after his own poor attempt at it

>Something you were quick to remedy, plus he'd helped a little after your guilt trip
>First up he really needs a little bit of foundation, just to even up his skin tone and help hide a few of those scars
>Wait, they weren’t scars...
>You look closer to see they were actually tiny slivers of blinking electronics embedded just under his skin
"Sheesh, you got a whole lot weirder big guy."
>You could still hide those things
>Like an obedient puppy he sits and accepts your beauty treatment
>Such a stoic face could use a little blush to liven it up, really bring out those angular cheeks of his
>His eyebrows certainly needed to be drawn over to darken them a tad
>He flinches as you push the definer against his brow but he still doesn’t refuse
>Good, good
>Because he'd need serious commitment for the eyeliner and mascara
>True fear was in his eyes as the liner came out, but like a soldier he kept his composure and took the slow and near painful process in stride
"You are so much better at this than Raan, he always finches back and I end up poking him in the eye."
>You did tell him not to move when you did it, even if it was involuntarily
>Stupid stallion
>You look over your work
>His cuteness had quadrupled and you were diggin’ it
>It was going to be fun showing him off to your friends
>But you could do more
>You tap at your chin in thought
"Hmm? Hah! Glitter!"
>With a swish of your horn a puff of rainbow super stick glitter sparkles, moons, and stars fly over his startled face
>He sneezes and half the glitter goes flying back in the air
>Super stick your flank
>He looks at you grumpily but you take the opportunity to apply light pink lipstick to his pout
"All done!"
>He remains motionless but soon gets the idea as you begin packing up your stuff
>It was well timed as a knock at the door says Ratch had finished his "communications endeavour"
"Come in."
>He bursts through the door, crude drawings in muzzle
"Why did you bother knocking?"
>He spits the pictures to the floor
>"Just in case you were trying to put the moves on him. I’m sick of seeing your butt."
"By Celestia what is wrong with you!?"
>He grins at your discomfort
>"I'm just getting you back for what you did to me in school."
>Hmm... you had kind of mercilessly teased him for having a crush on this random pony
>You only learnt afterwards that the filly had been his cousin
>That was your bad
"Just show us your terrible work."
>"Hey you're the artist, you could have done this better and faster than me."
"Too true."
>"And what in heaven's name have you done to his face and how did you get him to do that!?"
"I made him pretty, and he just let me do it, like I said he agreed to it."
>"You cried didn’t you." He says, immediately catching you out
"I did nothing of the sort!"
>"Whatever, let’s just do this, the poor guys probably traumatised now."

<| °_° |>

>Anon096
>You were feeling traumatised
>Such violation from an adorable critter
>The world was so cruel
>By the look of the pictures on the floor the stallion had been working on a means of communicating
>Three scraps of paper
>He gestures for you to come over and look
>One scroll depicted stick figure images of some small ponies beside a large crowned horse
>The second a vast landscape with a glistening white keep nestles amongst a mountain side
>The picture was really just poor scribbles but you added some flare to your own description
>The final picture was of a stick figure you flanked by two ponies
>He places the crowned pony beside the castle and you down the far side of his map
>He slowly moves the picture over to the large pony and makes them dance around
>Big pony equals leader that was obvious
>So she was in the cliff castle and they wanted you to meet her
>A formal introduction of species
>You nod at him once he's finished, trying to commune understanding
>He seems to get it
>But when do they want this to happen? Right now? You hadn’t even been here over two hours
>*Signal Received*
>Wha-?
>Your warp beacon had gotten a signal already!?
>That was too soon to be rescue, what was going on?
>The pony attempts to talk to you, tapping your leg to get your attention, but you shoo him off and stand up
>Right now you had to focus
>*Accept Message?*
*Is There An ID With It?*
>*ID Detected*
>*Decoding... Decoded*
>*Transmission ID: DFAC034*
"Oh Christ no!"
>The ponies look up, alarmed by your outburst
"Get ready guys, I'm so sorry for what happens next."
>/She/ was coming
>You sigh
*Accept Message*
>*Dame Femanon034 transmitting*
>*Nonnykins Is That You!?*
*Kill Me Now. Femanon Why Are You Here?*
>*Because You're An Idiot. You're Mission Carried With It A Bit More Weight Than You Thought*
>This was going to be good
>*I Was Tasked With Shadowing You, This Thing They've Got You After Is Worth A Lot More To The UTSC Than You'd Have Ever Thought*
>*So Important You Weren't The Only Knight They Sent Out. This Was A Massive Operation, Hundreds Of Dames And Knights Were Sent Out As A Confusion Tactic Just In Case Anyone Was Watching Too Closely*
*And Now You're Coming To My Rescue As Usual*
>*Just About. If I Hadn't Been Tasked With Shadowing You There Wouldn’t Have Been Rescue For Days*
*And Why Didn't You Crash Horribly?*
>*Accessed The Data Logs Of Your Last Flight Before Your Ship Went Caploowy. Shame About The Miss Info They Gave You About The Star System*
*Just Had To Be You Didn’t It*
>The mental network is filled with a silent mocking laughter from femanon034
>Royal Dame Femanon034. Men weren't the only genetically enhanced humans around
>As per the ancient equality acts of 2050 50% of all geneered people had to be female, thus the Royal Dame sect of humanities defence was born
>It was a Terran tactic to have all Knights and Dames paired at birth to be an unstoppable killing duo, with the belief humanities true tactical potential could be reached with simultaneous input from both genders
>Plus if a knight and dame fell for each other it made producing another super human about 3 billion dollars cheaper
>You had been paired with Femanon034, 100 years your senior and you had no intention of ever bedding that one!
>Ordinarily knights and dames were of the same age but due to fundage shortages during your production an equivalent dame could not be made
>Thus you'd been paired with someone who'd lost her knight in battle
>She'd been taken out of zero tau storage just for you, which is where she got her seniority
>Years actually lived she was more like 27
>There was just one thing. Her Z-tau pod had malfunctioned, rendering her body preserved but her mind fully aware
>When that was discovered she was immediately taken for psychiatric analysis
>She was fine, claiming it only gave her time to think
>But having spent a lot of time with her you know it changed her fundamentally
>She just wasn’t quite right
>Femanon034 was a bit... overzealous? Too happy for what she’d been through that was for sure
>It really didn’t suit her engineered profession
>She wasn't your ordinary geneered human, being from the past she was produced for the needs of those times
>A much darker time
>She was just about as strong as you, but she was fast, very fast, and agile beyond you're wildest imagination
>She was an Assassin Class Dame, fast and painful up close, even worse from far away
>Honestly you wouldn't want to face her at mid-range either, without a doubt she was more dangerous than you ever could or would be
>A real heartless killer
>Which all matched her personality miserably
>Such a stupidly bubbly person
>Why'd you have to be paired with her? All the worse she was technically your boss!
*Yuck It Up. I Think You'll Enjoy This Planet. Lock Onto My Neural Nanonics To Find Me*
>*Did That Before You Accepted My Message*
*No Privacy With You*
>*Don’t Need It. Be There In A Minute.*
>The mental connection shuts off
>Why femanon034?
>The ponies had been looking at you with increasing concern until you blink back to awareness and smile at them
"Really sorry guys, we may have to move outside."
>Despite their questioning whinnies you push past them, walk down the stairs and into their front lawn
>Femanon034 would be here in a stealth cruiser so you wouldn't know she was here until the craft was hovering above you
>You stand about looking as the two natives amble out behind you
>The mare moves dangerously close to your side
>It looked like she was going to rub herself against you like a cat
“You are certainly affectionate.”
>The stallion stood outside your personal space like any regular creature
>*The Natives With You?*
*How'd You Know About Them? And Why Does It Matter?*
>*When I Said I Locked Onto Your Nanonics I Meant Hacked Them. I've Been Watching Through Your Eyes Every So Often. As To Why? Well I Do Like To Make An Entrance*
>Fucking hell
>You look at the natives who stare back in confusion
>*That Ponies Pretty Cute. You Sleep With Her Yet?*
*WHAT!? What's Wrong With You?*
>*Just An Old Granny Making Fun. Although You've Never Come Sniffing Around My Tree And Don’t Think I didn’t Run Into That Slime Wanderer After Our Guarten OPS. I Know What You Did To Her. You Filthy, Filthy Man*
>The mental link if filled with your overwhelming embarrassment
>Those slime people could do some foul things to the human body
>Fucking amazingly foul things
>A little pride seeps into the link
>*You're A Pig*
*You're The One Accusing Me Of Fucking A Horse. Plus I Hear People From Your Time Would Fuck Sheep During The Cold Nights*
>*...*
>*I Love Our Friendship*
*Keeps Life Interesting*
>*Well I'm Ready, Take Them Out To The Small Pond About 50 Metres Away*
*Why?*
>*Appearances. First Introductions And The Like*
*I Think I Already Did That*
>*You Barely Count As Human, I'm Gunna Do It Properly*
"Come on ponies."
>You set off and gesture for them to follow
>They do
>The small pond was easy to find
*So What Are We Looking For?*
>*Me*

<| °_° |>

>Be Raan
>The alien had suddenly ran outside before you could finishes your explanation
>The two of you do the only thing you can and run out with him
>Running outside Sky trots up to the alien and basically rub herself against his legs
>Sheesh be more obvious Sky
>The alien stands about silently as he had earlier before moving out again
>He ended up leading you to the small pond behind your house
>He stops and waits again, Sky slowly edging closer to him
>Honestly what was wrong with her? Cute your flank! She was flirting with the damn thing
>What did she see in it? He looked kinda ugly, their whole species must be weird lookin-
"Uuuuuh."
>Distracted by your own thoughts you hadn't noticed the water stirring and the creature rising out of it
>The phantom rose from the waters in what looked to be slow motion, water droplets slowly rolling down it's curvaceous body, a metallic mask pealing back to reveal the sweetest looking, smoothest face you'd ever seen
>A female alien
>She wore a black and gold skin tight suit like the other alien but it only worked to show off her beautiful body
>Thump. It was the only word to describe the behind on the creature
>For whatever reason you couldn't help but stare at her rear, and the large swollen lumps on her chest
>She was magnificent, her body had you own betraying you in ways you thought you had better control of
>And above all you couldn’t get over how cute she was!

<| °_° |>

>Be anon096
>Femanon034 walked from the depths of the waters, her perfectly toned and enhanced body allowing her to imitate a slow motion walk
>Her respirator mask folds away to reveal her face
>Wtf? Why’d she need such an entrance?
>She was pretty sexy to be honest
>She exists the water, spins around and strikes a pose, flexing her biceps
>The stallion blushes something fierce and his tail flicks between his legs
>Ha! That was so adorable! Femanon had a little admirer already!
*You Always Were A Show Off, But You Over Did It This Time. You've Already Got A Convert Over Here*
>*Good*
>She splays her hands wide
>"Behold natives! Your god has arrived!"
>The mare eyes her suspiciously but the stallion only had hearts in his eyes
"They don't speak English."
>"... Well that ruined the moment."
"How'd you not know that from watching me?"
>"Small details, small details Nonnykins."
>It would seem a big detail to you
>Femanon leaps over to you for an embrace
>"I'm happy you're still alive you know?"
>You awkwardly pry her off
"Yeah I know. Speaking of where's your ship?"
>"Orbit, I took a cargo freight down and OH MY GOD! What happened to your face?”
“The natives got to me. Believe me, I had no choice in the matter.”
>”You look beautiful. Always pegged you as a cross-dresser.”
>You’ll ignore that jape
“So why didn't you just come down in a stealth ship to pick me up and go?"
>She looks at you with confusion
>"You don’t know do you?"
"Don’t play that game. Obviously I don’t.”
>"Well don’t you think even I responded to your distress call just a little too soon?"
"Yeah I was thinking that."
>"It’s the mission. Whatever we're after sent out its own distress signal, it came from this planet, thought that's why ya were here, until I intercepted your distress message."
"Wait so whatever I was sent after is here?!"
>"Whatever /we/ were sent after, yes, somewhere, so we'll be here a while."
"Can't you use your ship to find it instantly?"
>She scowls at you
>"Who do you think you're talking to? That was the first thing I tried, there’s some kind of energy blanket blocking most sensors."
"Haha, yeah this place has a little surprise when it comes to energy. Have a look."
>You send her the parts of your SNI recording involving magic use like an excited child showing its parent something interesting they'd found
>"NO. FRICKING. WAY!!"
>"That is so cool! You know we thought we were about to crack quantum manipulation in my age."
"Idiots the lot of you."
>"Can’t argue that point, but these guys can just do it naturally."
>She whistles
>"Beyond impressive."
>You grin sheepishly
"It’s good right."
>"I want one."
>As if on cue the small stallion strides pridefully to the two of you and stands before Femanon
"I think you've already got one."
>The stallion kneels respectfully before her
>You didn't get a bow :(
>”Neigh, neE-eigh! Whinny!”
>For whatever Reason the stallion looks mortified, his cheeks flaring bright red
>Femanon looks at him with a terrifying smile
>”Aren’t you cute when you blush.”
>She squats down to pet the little horse
>He flinches back when her hand first darts out, but quickly leans into her head scratching
>Her wolfish grin suddenly disappears
>"Oh poo! You're not a unicorn. I want a magic one!"
"You'd be surprised what that one can do. He disassembled my personal processor to its base components then reassembled it without me even seeing. He's pretty damn magic."
>Her grin returns
>"Then I shall be taking this one." She states, scooping up the horse as she stands back up
>He squirms awkwardly in her grasp, struggles only ceasing when she clutches him tighter, pushing his face betwixt her bosoms
>You could swear he was grinning
"You know you can’t actually keep a native right?"
>Her grin fades again
>"Fuck... I forgot that was a rule."
“Put him down.”
>She pouts and sticks her butt and chest out, her demeanor like that of a defiant school girl
>”I don’t wanna!”
“What is wrong with you?”
>”What’s wrong with you!? How could you be so cruel?”
“What?”
>”That poor little pony behind you! She looks so sad all by herself. I demand you pick her up and join me.”
“You can’t make me do that.”
>”I hate to pull rank on you Nonnykins, but yes I can. Now I order you to pick up that pony, she’s begging for it.”
>You look at the little horse who’d appeared by your feet
>She was right, the small pony milled around dejectedly, occasionally looking up at you hopefully, then over to the stallion resentfully
>…
>Being out ranked by a crazy person
“Yes ma’am.”
>You crouch down to grab the mare, expecting at least some resistance, but she eagerly jumps into your arms
>She neighs happily to her friend and snuggles up against you
“You stupid horse. Femanon Why’d you make me do this? This one was already getting a bit clingy.”
>”I’m a firm believer in equal treatment. Could you stand watching just one puppy from the littler not being fed? Now what were we doing again.”
“Why’d they ever let you back into the field? We were going to search for this object.”
>”Oh yeah. We need to set up a base. The native’s house will do.”
“You can’t just take their house it’s against policy! Speaking of, can we put these guys down?”
>The small pony was getting annoying with her squirming
>Femanon034 stares at you vacantly
>”… Oh yeah! Forgot to tell you we’ve been given DEF-CON 1 clearance by GovCentral. You and I can do whatever we want to retrieve the objective.”
>Jesus Christ. The UTSC must want this thing more than you could comprehend
“I don’t want to supplant these guys from their home.”
>”Tough tits Knight, they’ll get it back once we’re finished here, good as new. Think of it like us renting a room or something. But this is an official UTSC operation, and we will be using their planet as a base of operations, plus this will soon become a research outpost due to the discovery of this “magic” and once that’s over it’ll likely become a tourist planet.”
>”That pretty much means these guys get a free pass to the United Terran Space Confederation and its associated technologies. Therefore, it’s only prudent we set up some communication with their leaders, informing them of the situation before we proceed.”
“Yeah that’s what they were trying to tell me before you turned up as the queen of ego.”
>”Trying? Why haven’t you established proper communications with these natives yet? I know they don’t speak English Knight but there are ways around that.”
“Well the only idea I had would hurt them, so I haven’t tried it yet.”
>”My records show that you had a pair of civilian class Neural Nanonics in your storage, use those.”
“Yeah that was my idea, but things are very primitive here, No anesthesia, they’d have to be inserted while conscious and that would hurt the things too much.”
>”Too bad, we need communications, and you call yourself a knight."
>She sighs
>"But I will help with your moral qualms.” She says, as a small dart gun appears in her hand
>A second later both beasts were drooling at the mouth, small dart embedded in their necks
“How could you do that to those poor natives?”
>Her face hardens
>”Because I have to for the good of mankind, now get your nanonics and start them up before they wake. Be glad I was kind enough waste tranquilizers on them.”
“You couldn’t have asked them first?”
>”… How?”
>…
“Shit.” You whisper under your breath
>How could she switch from being such a happy person to being such a hard arse?
“Will do ma’am.” You salute, setting the sleeping mare down and marching to the native’s home, leaving Femanon and the ponies alone
>A quick trip back to the mare’s room and you retrieve the two tiny cylinders containing the nanonics
>Your reasoning was that once the Neural Nanonics had integrated with their synaptic networks they’d have access to the neural network
>You’d communicate entirely by thought and they should innately know all the human languages
>Plus once the nanonics had scanned their brains you could gain access to their language
>Femanon034 clearly had the exact same idea
>You were hesitant to attempt it before as their application while conscious would be beyond excruciating
>Nanonics in hand you rush back to the trio before the ponies woke up
>You did have a few issues with forcing this upon them, but the tiny electronics would be a fair deal
>>29185288
>You return to see Femanon kneeling beside the two sleeping ponies, rubbing their little bellies happily
“Stop that.”
>She jumps up startled, it wasn’t like her to be caught unawares
>”Those ponies are too distracting.” She says, having the same thought
>”Hurry up and apply those nanonics, we don’t want them waking halfway through and going into shock.”
“You’re so heartless.”
>She grins
>”Logical!”
>Under her instructions you pull the unconscious mare to you and push her mane aside, revealing the nape of her neck
>You pull out one of the nanonic cylinders and activate it
>A series of titanium tendrils extend from the cylinder's base and latch onto the exposed nape
>With the injectors firmly in place you start the insertion process
>A slow stream of liquid nanoscopic electronics run into the mare’s blood stream, passing through the blood-brain barrier and setting up shop beside their biological neural counterparts
>They would shortly solidify into a jelly-like crystalline lattice, forming a symbiotic link with her brain and creating an extra layer of protection against head trauma
>That was the painful part, and even in her unconscious state her face was being pulled into a pained grimace
“Why’d you ever have to follow me you curious beast?”
>You repeat the process with the stallion, exhausting your supply of nanonics
>They’d have fierce headaches when they awoke, possibly be a bit nauseous and they'd likely be confused
>Hopefully Femanon would have brought a large supply of medical stimulants to alleviate those symptoms
>She sees the concern in your face
>”I do have them.” She says, reading you like a book
“Good.”

<| °_° |>

>Be Raan
>You need to go introduce yourself to that alien mare
>But what if you mess up? What if she doesn’t like you? You just have to get closer but you couldn’t
>Stuck in such an awkward situation all you do is watch the creature conversing with the alien stallion
>How can you get her to like you?
>Finally mustering the will through shear desire you plod towards the mare
>You were going to have to pull out all the stops for this one
>Approaching the very tall beauty you fumble a terrible bow
>That was it, you’d ruined your introduction already
“Ah- egh. I am RaA-atchet. Fuck!”
>Why did your voice crack? Your voice hasn’t cracked since high school!
>You hate your life
>You look to the ground miserably and blush fiercely at your failure and at Sky’s cackling laughter
>The mare unexpectedly squats down right at your height
>If the sudden movement wasn’t startling enough her paws darts out and catches you behind the ears from nowhere
>You recoil instinctively until the paw begins scratching
>You were mildly confused and very happy
>Why was she so fantastic? Why didn’t she hate you?
>… Oh yeah
“You guys don’t speak equestrian, heh forgot that.”
>All she would have seen was a handsome stallion giving her the utmost respect
>Yes! You were back in!
>The world is sent spinning when you find yourself being pulled into the air as the mare stands back up, having caught you in her vice like grip
>You struggle to no avail. She could crush boulders with muscles like these!
>It was all a trap!
>You were going to go for one last attempt when the creature pulls you up and into their chest, wrapping you in a bear hug
>Your face had been forced between her soft and shapely teats
>The were a lot like a Minotaur’s, just better somehow
>You grin
>This wasn’t too bad
>You could’ve sworn you heard Sky calling you disgusting but she was a little hard to make out as you push your face further into the squishy bliss
>You could die a happy stallion
>As the world fades to black you very well may have

<| °_° |>

>Be Horizon Sky
“That is so typical. You stallions are disgusting!”
>Such a pig
>Ratch had somehow worked his entire head between that evil looking creature’s stupid disproportionately stupid oversized stupid breasts
>You weren’t jealous or anything!
>What could Ratch possible see in that beast?
>As you watch your filthy friend dig away you do feel a twang of envy
>All he did was fuck up magnificently and the creature was being so affectionate to him
>You were being the kindest mare on Celestia’s sun lit planet and the big ol’ stallion beside you only treated you with painful neutrality
>LOVE ME YOU ADORABLE BASTARD!
>Celestia herself answers your prayers when the alien mare barks something to the stallion and he crouches beside you
>Very cautiously he reaches out to grab at you
>More than happy to accept you step into his paws, enjoying the sensation of being launched into the air as he stands
>You wiggles yourself about, climbing up to get your hooves around his neck
>He seemed annoyed by your near constant movement but in the end you had one of his arms holding you up by the flank and the other over your back, keeping you in place
>He was a lot harder than you wanted but he was still nice and warm
>Plus he held you so delicately, you felt entirely free, unlike Ratch, who was still in a death grasp, not that he seemed to care
>You were a happy mare, even as things slowly faded to darkness

<| °_° |>

>Be Anon096
>You had the two natives underarm and were trudging back to their home
>Femanon comes sprinting up from behind
>”Got the damned medical stimulants.”
>She was slightly upset with you
>Originally she tried to order you to get them, but seeing her sitting beside the two unconscious natives made you realize you weren’t comfortable leaving her alone with them
>Speaking your mind on the topic had been enough the embarrass her into getting them herself
>”You were saying something about these guys trying to set up a meeting with their leaders.” She says, pulling up beside you
“Yeah, the stallion managed to get their point across with some basic images. Pretty ingenious. Apparently whoever their leader is lives in some fortifications based on a cliff-side. A white marble castle of sorts."
>”And where’s that?”
“No idea, the map he drew was a little too basic to garner any information.”
>”We’ll sort it out once they’re back in action.”
“Actually I sent up a mapping satellite a few hours ago, it should have caught the location by now.”
>You access the constantly generating mapping files to receive only clouds of pink
>Femanon looks at you with a sense of smugness
>”You forgot about the energy blanket didn’t you?”
“I didn’t even know it was a thing when I sent that up. I may have also forgotten.”
>”Awake a hundred years and I’ve still got a better memory.”
>You ignore the scathing remark and move into the run down little cottage
>Femanon has the same issue with the rafters you’d had before
>”Jesus the place is a sty.”
“Believe me it was much cleaner before. They got a little overexcited giving me a tour of their place. Speaking of they do seem easy to excite, so can you please tone yourself down a tad while here. We don’t want one of them having a heart attack.”
>”Can’t promise a thing, but you’re a genuine guy 096, I’ll give it a shot. Now put those ponies down and go move my ship around front.”
“I’m still not leaving you alone with them. You’re coming with me.”
*And you’ll be answering a few questions*
>*Oh, Mr. Serious over here*
>Despite the rebuke she follows you out the door once you’d put the horses on a nearby couch
>Adorably the two snuggle up together in a sleeping embrace
>Just when you think they can’t get any cuter

<| °_° |>

>Femanon had landed the large cargo ship a few hundred meters from the pond she’d emerged ever so cockily from
>She should know not to make such entrances around natives, there were documented cases of people who were too flamboyant with their tech, gathering alien followers believing them to be gods
>The practice was highly frowned upon, and should new laws pass would be illegal
>You didn’t like the way the stallion was looking at her either, or how she was behaving to the natives
>You weren’t frowning upon them from the idea of them having some kind of relationship, nothing like that
>Humanity had passed interspecies marriage laws the second another sentient species had been discovered
>You just didn’t want Femanon messing around with the little guy’s heart
>You seat yourself down in the accel couches’ webbing beside Femanon and send a flight command to the computer
>It felt good having mental contact with a ship AI again
>You feel nothing as the engines roar to life and the craft gently lists into the air, gliding towards the house
>*You said there’d be questions*
*I suppose I did*
>*Well?*
*You would seem to know a lot more about my objective than I do. What else is it you know? Spill the beans, the whole damn can*
>*It would be to our tactical disadvantage for you not to know at this point*
*So what is it? What is our objective?*
>*I’ve honestly no idea, they were keeping that tightly under wraps*
>Damn. That was the one thing you really wanted to know
*Who else is after this? My Intel said it was lost in a raid*
>*Correct. The objective disappeared during a fire fight with an unknown enemy. No survivors. It has just now reappeared on this planet. It has been theorized that the attacker were Habitat dwellers*
*Dwellers!? I thought we were on good…ish, terms with them*
>She looks at you with mild disappointment
>*Of all the factions of humanity roaming the galaxy the Dwellers are on good terms with none of them and you should know that. They’re tech hungry elitists that horde their knowledge away in those giant boulders of theirs*
*Good to see you don’t buy into that whole “living god” thing*
>*I know you call me an idiot a lot, but you don’t actually believe it when you say it yeah?*
>…
>…
>*096!!?*
*… A little*
>She breaks mental contact
>”Jesus Christ! You are a bad friend aren’t you?”
“You’re old enough to take it.”
>All joy vanishes from the small cockpit
>Femanon’s stare was so icy your heart seizes
>”No one jokes about my age but me.”
“Yes ma’am.”
>”Any other questions?”
“Are you really fine having Terran command governing this planet?”
>”… To be honest? No. This place is like the pastoral idle made material. But you keep forgetting 096, we are the Royal Dames and Knights of the UTSC. What the government wants, we get, we’re just the tools of their machinations and our opinions don’t matter, so long as the jobs done, and they really want this one done. Enough to just take this planet into the fold of the confederation.”
>You sigh
>DEFON 1 clearance
>They really, really wanted what was lost. But would they care so much upon the discovery of magic?
”What do you think it is?”
>”Weapon. It’s always a weapon.”
“I hope not. What kind of weapon warrants this much attention?”
>”A bad one.”
>The ship softly presses down in the expansive backyard of the natives
“You do have a way of cloaking this yeah?”
>She raises an eyebrow and flicks a switch
>”You do you think you’re talking to?”
**Cloaking field activated**
>Right. Thanks computer
>Femanon034’s look softens
>”Come on, they’ll be waking soon and you need to get those stimulants around their necks, we don’t want their adorable heads hurting.”
>You follow her from the ship
>Sure enough the two ponies inside were squirming around on the verge of waking up
>With haste you cross the old wooden floorboards and fasten the medical stimulants around their necks
>The piece of medical technology vaguely resembled a collar, aside for the large green capsule storing a concoction of drugs to be selectively released depending on the patient’s condition
>You sigh with relief when the two collars register to be operational
>”I think you may be a little too softhearted to be a Knight Nonnykins. They are damned cute but.”
“I always thought the Dames were meant to bring kindness to the decision making of a squad.”
>”I’m plenty kind, I just know when to make the tough calls. Now I saw a stove in that kitchen so I’m taking some down time to bake some brownies!”
>They would make for a good peace offering to the natives after what you’ve done to them
>”Stop worrying 096, you’re clogging up the neural network. You know they’ll be happy about it.”
>You could only hope. Speaking of, the nanonics had just finished scanning their brains, once they awoke you should have full access to their language
>Femanon disappears into the kitchen leaving you sitting on the floor beside the dozing natives and filling the room with the clanks and clamor of her preparation and search for ingredients
>”And don’t think I didn’t see the cracked floorboards under your armor. That’s a bad Knight!” She shouts from the kitchen
>You wanted to say you’d fix it but honestly you wouldn’t

<| °_° |>

>By the time the first native stirs Femanon’s brownies were cooling on the table
>It was the stallion, is eyes slowly cracking open to reveal the friend he’d been snuggling up against
>Reflexively he jumps away in embarrassment and rapidly wipes off his coat in disgust
>”By Celestia what happened? Egh, why was I hugging Sky!? Where are the aliens!?” The startled guy shouts out in horse
>Horse you could now perfectly understand and if things had worked properly he should now know English
>He looks around confused, finding you sitting before him and discovering the peculiar object around his neck, pulling at it furiously to no avail
>That thing wouldn’t be coming off until its job was done
>”You!? What is this? What did you do!? Are you enslaving us? I know you can’t understand me but asking helps calm me down!”
>You smirk and a chuckle escapes your lips
“You’re a pretty funny guy.” You say, trying your hand at horse
>Equestrian was what they called the language, or that’s what your neural nanonics had said
>His features are a pained warp of confusion and humour
>Many questions were hidden in his face but before he can ask any of them a chuckle escapes his lips
>”You sound ridiculous! Bwhahah. What’s with that accent?”
>Alrighty then you’ll be switching to a real-time translation of English
“Better?” You ask in good old English
>He’s shocked
>”You sound exactly like me!”
“I’m using a machine in your brain to translate my words directly into your language via your thoughts.”
>His shock turns to fear
>The poor, adorable horse
>”You put machines in our brains?”
“Yes, and sorry. It was the only way we could set up proper communications. Don’t worry, they’re not dangerous, both Femanon034 and I have them too.”
>You hear him whisper Femanon’s name under his breath
>”What’s going to happen to me? Are you stealing my mind?”
“I did nick your language from you, but aside from that your mind is, and should remain, untouched. These machines, we call them Neural Nanonics, or just nanoics, are purely beneficial. We truly mean no harm, in fact if the situation weren’t so serious for us we’d have never considered doing this to you.”
>”Serious? Your space ship exploded!”
“Haha, she sure did, didn’t she?”
>His little ears flop about in confusion
>”You don’t seem very worried.”
>You weren’t. Having trained for years worry wasn’t an emotion often felt, not unless someone mentions Femanon
>He didn’t seem too worried either
>The medical stimulant must have detected his stress levels and calmed him down
“It’s not my job to feel worried. Now I’m sure you’ve plenty of questions, go ahead.”
>He taps his skull with a hoof
>“These things in my head, if their good what do they do?”
“Lots of things, in fact you can use them to learn everything you want about themselves. Aside from that once their good and settled you’ll have increased memory, faster thinking, improved cognitive capability.”
*Plus this! Access to the neural network. The names Royal Knight Anon096, but Anon will do*
>”AH! WHAT WAS THAT!?”
>His surprised yelp causes the mare lying beside him to squirm uncomfortably on the brink of waking up
>She moans something semi-consciously while stretching out her hooves, grasping for something in distress
”Daww, you poor thing.”
>You find your hand moving out to comfort the little creature
>As you make your approach her outstretched hooves latch onto your arm and pull it down, leaving you in an uncomfortable position
>She hugs against your muscular arm and sighs contentedly, drifting back to sleep
>The stallion looks at you with discomfort
*Sorry about that. It’s direct mental communication. Give it a try*
>*I’m Ratchet* He says inquisitively into the mental space
*Good to meet you Ratchet*
>*Are you alright with her on your arm?*
*It’ll be fine. I’m sworn to help others, no matter how small their problems*
>Ratchet spends a few moments blinking before grinning ear to ear
>*This is so cool!*
*I’m relieved you’re okay with us having done this*
>”Are you kidding me? It’s all perks!”
>The mare groans at his raised voice so you soothingly stroke at her soft belly
>So well-toned yet somehow still squishy and pudgy
>She remains sleeping
*Good. If you want to know anything else just ask me, or the nanonics*
>He nods eagerly before sniffing at the air, having caught the scent of brownie
“Brownies, Femanon made them, help yourself.”
>”Femanon… You’re not like… A thing?”
“Sheesh, your first alien encounter and that is seriously where you go? No were aren’t a “thing” but don’t even try it.”
>”If you insist.”
>You could feel the lie through the mental link he’d failed to close
>You roll your eyes
>Any sexually reproducing species only ever had one thing on their mind
“Sure thing buddy.” you say with a smirk
“Now go eat, I’ll join you in a second and we can talk some more.”
>The movement of him standing finally fully wakens the mare
*Do you mind waiting for this, in case she has a bad reaction?*
>His grin remained from before as he mentally replies to you
>*Sure thing. I think I’m getting the hang of these nanonic things*
>You send a thanks his way as the mare pries herself from your arm, slowly lifting your hand from her stomach with much embarrassment
>She groggily rolls over and eyes you affectionately
>”Gosh you’re so cute Mr. Alien. I wish you’d put that paw back where I woke up with it.”
>Cute?
>Thanks to your well-trained body no visible blush appeared on your cheeks, but you still seethed with embarrassment
>”Oh by Luna” Ratchet says
>”That’s disgusting, you are disgusting. I can’t ever deal with you, sorry Anon, I’m out.”
>Fair copout
>”Oh and by the way, they can understand us now.”
>He trots across the wooden floor to the cooling brownies and the no doubt waiting Femanon
>The small mare, Sky did he say? Bolts upright and scooches as far back into the couch as she could manage, covering her face with a pillow as she went
>”…You weren’t meant to be able to understand me.” Comes a muffled response from the pillow
“Woah it’ll be alright.”
>”GAH! YOU SOUND JUST LIKE ME!” She shouts, tossing the pillow aside, embarrassment succumbing to shock
>You hear a chuckle come from Ratchet
>She finds the collar around her neck
>”Ack! What is this? Are we your slaves? I’m noponies slave! Unless you need a personal attendant, they always live in my books. But you’d have to pay for my living and food expenses, plus I’ll need some gifts to stay happy and als-”
“Woah there, calm down girl. No you’re not a slave. It’s a medical package to help relieve the stress.”
>You did wonder if her unit was defective though
>It sent you the message it was administering a series of inhibitors to calm her down but you saw no effect
>”The stress? Stress of what?”
>*OF THIS* Ratchet shouts into the mental network
>Sky screams and jumps up in fright
>Her eyes shot daggers at her friend
>*Not funny dickface!* she sends back, before yelping in shock and looking around confused
>”What was that!? How did I do that?”
>You were going to answer but she slams her eyes shut and focuses a moment
>You could sense her clumsy probing of the nanonic systems from a mile away
>Her eyes race open
>”BWAH! Haha How do I now know how I did that?!”
>Looks like she was a little more receptive to the nanonics than her counterpart
>Speaking of, yours comes striding from the kitchen and kneels at the tiny table beside Ratchet
>Sky’s thoughts become suspicious at the appearance
>Like Ratch she didn’t seem aware that once a mental link was made it also had to be closed
>Out of respect for the mare you shut off the system
>This was one sensible pony. But unlike the small horse you would trust your life to femanon, no matter how crazy
>”So… Neural Nanonics?”
“Yes, you seem a natural at their use. Do you still want to know why I sound like you or…?”
>She waves you off with a hoof
>”My brain told me when I asked. Real-time mental translation.”
>You nod gruffly
“I am sorry we did this.”
>”Ha! This is amazing! I don’t think sorry is the right word, more like ‘Now you owe me for life’.”
“I’m truly glad you’re both happy.”
>She smiles coyishly
>”Cute and sweet what a combination.”
>You liked it better when they couldn’t talk to you
“Err, well then, I’m Royal Knight Anon096, but just use Anon for short. I believe your friend called you Sky? We’ve made some food for you as a sort of apology.”
>*It’s Horizon Sky, you can call me Sky if you want*
*Thanks, but don’t become too reliant on mental communication*
>You were waiting for her to get up and move to the table before realising her one upraised hoof was a request for help up
>Lazy pony
>You pull her up and make your way to join Ratchet and Femanon
“What delightful conversation were we missing over here?”

<| °_° |>

>Be a weary Ratch just waking up from being drugged
>You were holding onto something so soft and cuddly by Celestia it was bliss
>But old memories resurface
>The last thing you could recall was being pushed against that mare’s chest then everything went dark
>What had the aliens done?
>Regretfully you open your eyes to face the world
>… Sky?
>Sky was what you were snuggling with? You were going to be sick! You had your face in her chest fluff and everything!
>You recoil back and wipe yourself down
>Ick
”By Celestia what happened? Egh, why was I hugging Sky!? Where are the aliens!?”
>You look about in desperation, immediately spotting the alien sitting beside the couch you’d been put on
>Horrifyingly as you turned your head you felt something fused to your neck
>It was a slave collar that refused to budge no matter how you struggled at it
>You look back at the alien, angry at his betrayal
”You!? What is this? What did you do!? Are you enslaving us? I know you can’t understand me but asking helps calm me down!”
>It did a bit, until he smirks and laughs at you
>”You’re a pretty funny guy.” He says in horribly broken Equestrian
>What!? He could understand you? And speak your language?
>But, but…
>Pff, hah, he sounded so stupid!
>You can’t help but laugh
”You sound ridiculous! Bwhahah. What’s with that accent?”
>He seems all too disappointed
>“Better?” He asks in a perfect imitation of your own voice
>It was better, just very off-putting
”You sound exactly like me!”
>“I’m using a machine in your brain to translate my world directly into your language via your thoughts.”
>What!? Oh no! oh no, no, no. They’re stealing your thoughts!
”You put machines in our brains?”
>He nods grimly
>“Yes, and sorry. It was the only way we could set up proper communications. Don’t worry, they’re not dangerous, both Femanon034 and I have them too.”
>That was a huge relief and what did he say? Femanon034? Was that the mare’s name?
>You repeat it under your breath so as not to forget
”What’s going to happen to me? Are you stealing my mind?”
>“I did nick your language from you, but aside from that your mind is, and should remain, untouched. These machines, we call them Neural Nanonics, or just nanoics, are purely beneficial. We truly mean no harm, in fact if the situation for us weren’t so serious we’d’ve never considered doing this to you.”
>He had to be joking
”Serious? Your space ship exploded!”
“Haha, she sure did, didn’t she?”
”You don’t seem very worried.”
>For the situation neither were you. Actually you felt quite mellow
>Must be the aliens doing
>“It’s not my job to feel worried. Now I’m sure you’ve plenty of questions, go ahead.”
>You really would like to know more about the stuff apparently now in your brain
 “These things in my head, if they’re good what do they do?”
 >“Lots of things, in fact you can use them to learn everything you want to about themselves. Aside from that once their good and settled you’ll have increased memory, faster thinking, improved cognitive capability.”
>*Plus this! Access to the neural network. The names Royal Knight Anon096, but Anon will do* Comes a voice in your mind other than your own
>The shock at the mental contact forces an involuntary shout
”AH! WHAT WAS THAT!?”
>Sky moans in her slumber, distressed at your outburst, her hooves grasping for anything to comfort her
>You wouldn’t be helping her, she was a grown-ass mare who shouldn’t need to cuddle stuffed animals to help her sleep
>Also you still hadn’t quite got over the embarrassment of waking up with her
>But perhaps the true reason was because…
>The alien unexpectedly reaches out to comfort her, only to have his arm immediately trapped by the grasping hooves
>…Because that. Once she got a hold of something like that you wouldn’t get it back until she woke up
 >Poor Anon
>The foreign voice returns to your mind, of course now it was apparent the voice was coming from Anon
>*Sorry about that. It’s direct mental communication. Give it a try*
>So it was a bit like telepathy? How were you meant to do it?
>Focusing on the strange presence in your mind left behind by Anon’s words you inquisitively send out your thoughts, attempting to funnel them towards the presence
*I’m Ratchet*
>*Good to meet you Ratchet* Comes the instantaneous response
>Oh snap! This was awesome! So glad you didn’t get the elements of harmony to investigate Anon’s crash. Their lives were good enough as it was, like they really deserved to be enhanced by benevolent space beings
>… Good Luna you never imagined thinking something like that to yourself in a million years!
>You look at the alien with admiration for the gift he’d given
>He was looking happy, but none too comfortable
>Sky had steadily dragged him into a horribly awkward position as she pulled against him
*Are you alright with her on your arm?*
>He nods
>*It’ll be fine. I’m sworn to help others, no matter how small their problems*
>Before you had woken up fearing the worst, believing yourself enslaved to these creatures, but now you could speak properly with Anon it would seem you’d actually gained a guardian angel
*This is so cool!*
>*I’m relieved you’re okay with us having done this*
”Are you kidding me? It’s all perks!
>Sky groans at your shout and without skipping a beat Anon’s paw massages the part of her belly she’d clamped him against, sending her to sleep once again
>He clearly had no problems with personal contact
>*Good. If you want to know anything else just ask, me or the nanonics*
>You nod happily, already probing your mind’s new wealth of knowledge
>It was a difficult, all you managed to access was an encyclopedia about 21st century brick construction
>The files were centuries old
>Their culture must be ancient
>The gentle scent of chocolaty goodness wafts into your nose
>Drool builds up at your lips
>“Brownies, Femanon made them, help yourself.”
>Femanon… She was so amazing
>Now that you could talk with the aliens you had a second chance at a first introduction
>It was time to get your suave on
>A terrifying thought occurs to you
>The two aliens seemed pretty close, too close
>What if?
”Femanon… You’re not like… A thing?”
>“Sheesh, your first alien encounter and that is seriously where you go. No we’re not a “thing” but don’t even try it.”
>Thank Celestia
>”If you insist.”
>He rolls his eyes at you, disappointment evident on his features
>“Sure thing buddy. Now go eat, I’ll join you in a second and we can talk some more.”
>You hop from the couch but the movement finally awakens Sky
>*Do you mind waiting for this, in case she has a bad reaction?*
>You open up the neural network
*Sure thing. I think I’m getting the hang of these nanonics*

<| °_° |>

>Be Horizon Sky
>Something loud kept trying to wake you up and you didn’t like that
>Your mind sends out an involuntary struggle to stop the discomfort
>It felt an eternity before your grasping hooves found something warm to latch onto
>Comforted by the presence you nuzzle into it and fade back into the darkness to be greeted by such pleasant dreams
>All cuddles and flowers
>It was only moments later when something was tugging at your awareness once more
>Your body had been sent jostling by something and shocked you awake
>The large warm thing you’d grasped at in your sleep was indeed real
>It was also ever so softly rubbing your tummy
>You were a happy mare
>But upon creeping your eyes open the truth of your cuddly companion was revealed
>It was your adorable alien’s arm
>Gosh and you’d slobbered all over it!
>Slowly, and with much shame, you pull yourself from the tangle you’d created and free the poor guy
>The last thing you remember was getting your hug on with the alien and now you’ve awoken with no memory beyond that and his large paw on your belly
>He must be a randy one
>You roll over and sleepily look him over wiping off your drool
>Not a lot of time must have passed, he still had your make-up on
”Gosh! You’re so cute Mr. alien.  I wish you’d put that paw back where I woke up with it.”
>”Oh by Luna” Ratchet says
>What!? When did he get there?
>”That’s disgusting, you are disgusting. I can’t ever deal with you, sorry Anon, I’m out.”
>Anon? Was he talking to the alien?
>Ratch looks to you again
>”Oh and by the way, they can understand us now.”
>He trots across the wooden floor to the dining table
>…
>Fuuuuck! You hate life
>You push yourself as far back into the couch as possible
>Surely the further away you were the less embarrassing it was right?
>For good measure you hide your face under a pillow
”…You weren’t meant to be able to understand me.”
>“Woah it’ll be alright.” You say
>Wait… you didn’t say that! He did! Why does he sound exactly like you!?
”GAH! YOU SOUND JUST LIKE ME!” You shout, tossing the pillow aside to make sure he was actually speaking
>You hear a chuckle come from Ratchet
>Judging from the knowing tone he’d asked the very same thing earlier
>Stupid stallion
>You feel something tight around your neck
”Ack! What is this? Are we your slaves? I’m noponies slave! Unless you need a personal attendant, they always live in my books. But you’d have to pay for my living and food expenses, plus I’ll need some gifts to stay happy and als-”
>“Woah there, calm down girl. No you’re not a slave. It’s a medical package to help relieve the stress.” He says, still in your voice
>That would take some getting use to
”The stress? Stress of what?”
>*OF THIS* Ratchet’s voice suddenly shouts into your mind itself
>You screech and jump in shock at the intrusion
>You shoot the bugger your evilest glare
*Not funny dickface!* You mentally send back
>What. The. Fuck!? You were meant to shout that!
>You were so confused right now
”What was that!? How did I do that?”
**Please wait. Installing**
>What? You close your eyes and focus on the mystery voice
**You have just accessed the Neural Network, a simple means of instant mental communication**
>Uh huh
**By focussing your mind upon another with access to the network you may set up a direct link with said individual. Given time this process will become innate to you**
”BWAH! Haha How do I now know how I did that?!”
**You have recently been provided with a set of civilian class Neural Nanonics. This set will provide you with enhance memory, thinking and logic skills, reaction times along with limited control of your brain chemistry. You may also access and download all UTSC data files provided to you. Currently only default files are loaded**
>Oh okay cool and where did you come from?
**Please refrain from personifying your Nanonics. It hinders the integration process. You are only speaking to yourself**
>Then why are you a different voice in my head?
**I am not. If you would take a moment to focus you would realise this is you thinking to yourself. As I said, you are only speaking to yourself. Nanonics contain no AI by default only knowledge you can purposefully or unintentionally access**
>Thanks me! So then why does the alien sound just like me?
**The human is using a real-time mental translation of his language converted directly into your thoughts**
>Good, good
>In the time you’d spent conversing with yourself, about 2 seconds you’d say, the female alien had stalked from the kitchen to join Ratchet
>You still didn’t like the look of her, she was evil in some way
>Like maybe she was secretly coveting /your/ alien
>Oh Luna no! What if they were a couple? They did look and dress the same
>You turn back to the alien, who seemed not to mind your sudden moment of silence
”So… Neural nanonics?”
>“Yes, you seem a natural at their use. Do you still want to know why I sound like you or?”
”My brain told me when I asked. Real-time mental translation.”
>He nods, looking almost sad
>“I am sorry we did this.”
>What a silly…
**Human**
”Ha! This is amazing! I don’t think sorry is the right word, more like ‘Now you owe me for life’.”
>“I’m truly glad you’re both happy.”
>He was such a sweetie
>You give him your sexiest smile
”Cute and sweet what a combination.”
>He rubs the back of his head awkwardly
“Err, well then, I’m Royal Knight Anon096, but just use Anon for short. I believe your friend called you Sky? We’ve made some food for you as a sort of apology.”
>Food? You were always up for food
*It’s Horizon Sky, you can call me Sky if you want*
>*Thanks, but don’t become too reliant on mental communication*
>That’s lame. First he gives it to you then says you can’t use it!
**Some users can become over reliant on the easy of mental communication, fostering anti-social behaviours. Verbal speech is necessary for a healthy lifestyle**
>Using the Neural network you could hear Anon’s actual voice though!
>It was a bit too deep and gruff to suit his adorableness
>You raise a hoof for him to help you up but he fails to notice, staring at you blankly
>You clear your throat and he gets the idea, helping you from your chair
>Such a gentlestallion
>“What delightful conversation were we missing over here?” He asks, kneeling opposite his female counterpart

<| °_° |>

>Be Royal Dame Femanon034 reporting for duty
>…
>…
>…
>You didn’t like to think, you’d already had plenty of time to think
>…
>…
>Baking brownies was fun though!
>All the equipment was so basic and old you had to retrieve files on how to operate the damn stuff
>You’d never had to apply such effort to cooking before and strangely enough you found the monotonous and often vigorous process oddly alluring
>It had to be something about using your hands, you always had to keep them busy to stay calm
>Knowing you could still move in your own body and that reality all wasn’t the fever dream of a woman locked in stasis, it did you good
>You finished cooking before the natives had even woken
>Nonnykins had watched over them diligently, unmoving from his position
>You could see the appeal, they were the most adorable little cuties you had ever seen, out classing all the Terran pets genetically engineered to be cuteness made manifest
>You just wanted to tickle your stallion’s fluffy little tum tums
>Gosh he was so cute nuzzling up against his friend like that!
>Argh! You wanted more! Sure you could find enough willing volunteers to construct a pony blanket to sleep under?
>Wait… Who said they had to be willing?
>Heheheh
>They didn’t seem to be showing signs of waking, and Anon was on observations, so you walk back to the kitchen and begin cleaning up
>Gotta stay busy
>…
>…
>…
>That was quick. You’d got the whole place spotless in what would no doubt be a record time for this house
“Christ, did they put the house wife gene in me or something?”
>Cooking and cleaning. It was something you never really had to think about or even consider in the UTSC, everything was automated
>Yet in this backwater planet you found an amazing tranquillity in the tasks
>So unlike the bloodbath of the battlefield you were use to
>Who knows? In an alternate universe, you could have been a world class baker
>With thoughts of a better life in mind you make your way back to the dining table to find the stallion up and about, noshing upon your brownies
”Hope you like them. I learned how to cook just for you guys.”
>He chokes on his bite at your silent appearance but manages to get it down with some wheezing
>”Yes- ah, err I mean, yes they are very good, thank you so much.” He stutters out
>So cute!
>He struggles to regain his composure, running his hooves through his mane to slick it back and clearing out his throat
>A hoof gets extended towards you
>”It is an honour to finally speak to you Mare’am. I am Raan Therous Chet Felor Lexinglen.”
>He grins sheepishly at you
>Mare’am?
>”But you can just call me Ratchet or Ratch for short.”
>Daintily you shake his outstretched hoof
“I can do that. I’m Femanon034, but I’m sure Nonnykins already mentioned that.”
>”Bwahahah! Nonnykins!?”
“Sure thing. But I wouldn’t call him that. Now let’s get down to business.” You say, tasting one of the overly sweet brownies
“Can I tickle your fluffy belly or would that be weird?”
>His eyes damn near pop from his skull as his face blanches
>”I-I-I, ah. I-It, um gimmy a moment.”
>He looks around the room, scoping out who was watching before leaning in closer to whisper something
>”C-could we go somewhere more private first?”
>Oh! Oh no, belly rubbing might be a bad idea after all. How was that possible?
>But you wanted that cuddly softness so much! And did he have to tease you by sitting like that? With his stomach all exposed and pat-able?
>You had to blow a raspberry onto that to hear his horse giggles
>You look over to Anon to ensure he was still preoccupied with the mare
“… Do you have anywhere private?”
>Ratch looked just about to die after you said that, beads of sweat building on his forehead, struggling for an even breath and blushing redder than a baboon’s arse
>”I, ah, we have- I… My bedroom, the door even locks.” He finally rushes out, a little excitement leaking into his tone
>This was getting a bit serious
>But boy could you get into serious
>Hehe you were a little interested in seeing what he had between his legs
>Huehuehue, hung like a horse
“Lead the wa-
>“What delightful conversation were we missing over here?” Anon asks, appearing right before you with the mare
>DAMN PONIES! Too distracting! How could you ever operate efficiently if your awareness had been so reduced as to allow nonnykins of all people to sneak up on you?
>The guy was like a walking avalanche, he had essentially no stealth
>Compared to you that is, not that it’s a fair comparison but still! He should never be getting the drop on you
>Stupid adorable horse
>Ratchet flails wildly in shock, his blush somehow becoming even fiercer
>”Gah! N-nothing! Brownies! We were talking about how nice these brownies are.”
>Anon raises an eyebrow skeptically
>”Really? I’ve never known Femanon to be a cook.”
>He grabs a brownie to test it out, groaning in satisfaction
>”Well screw me these are damn good. I stand corrected. By the way this here is Horizon Sky. Sky meet Femanon.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Sky.” You say with incredible sweetness
>”The pleasure is all mine.” She replies, matching your sweet tone exactly, but spicing it up with a faint smirk
>That irked you. She’d subtly outdone your performance
“Well, let’s dig in shall we. I’m sure you both have ample questions.”
>You stealthily reach under the table to stroke Ratchet’s lower thigh
*We’ll pick things up later cutie*
>The poor fella falls from his seat, body seemingly struck by rigor mortis
>”Are you alright Ratch?” asks Sky
>”…I’m fine.” Comes the croaked response from the floor
>*You shouldn’t be teasing him like that* comes Anon’s mental reprimand
*I’ve done nothing of the sort. I’m offended you’d insinuate such a thing!*
>*I’m serious. Don’t mess with him. I’m taking these two under my personal protection. I pledge upon my oath as a Royal Knight that they shall come to no harm, physical or emotional*
*That doesn’t stop two consenting adults from having a little fun*
>*No it doesn’t, but I’m still watching you*
*You say all this and don’t even realize how hard that girl is crushing on you*
>As you finish sending your thought a brownie just happens to float up to anon’s mouth and attempt to force its way in
>”Eat up Knight Anon, you must have to eat a lot to stay so big. Eat.” Sky insists
>The brownie pushes against his unopened, deadpan face
>*Believe it or not I am slightly aware*
>He snatches the brownie from the air and takes a bite
>”Thank you Sky. Indeed I do eat a lot.”
>She giggles
>”You’re so silly Anon.”
>You look back to his still deadpan expression
“Hahah. He certainly is, isn’t he? So, questions?”
>Ratchet clambers back to his chair
>”I’d like to know what you guys are and why you’re here on our planet, you said things were serious.”
“That’s an easy one. We are humans, species: homo sapiens, one of the scores of alien races throughout this galaxy. Yours will now in fact be added to the catalog of known sentient races.”
>”You can access a summary of our history in your neural nanonics too by the way.” Adds anon
>”Yes, and as to why we’re here, well, for now that is classified but it’s essential we speak to your leaders immediately.”
>*Why so soon?* Comes the obvious question from Anon
*The objective is still giving out a distress signal. If I found it, so will our enemies. Whoever was responsible for destroying the armada protecting it will be at our doorstep in no time*
>*Please tell me you called for reinforcements*
*Before I even warped in system. They’ll be here in a few days, maximum*
>”We were actually telling Knight Anon about that before you arrived, or we were trying to.” Ratchet says happily
>You flash him a sweet smile
“Yes he told me of how smart and resourceful you were using images like that.” You say, fluttering your lashes
>Anon’s eyes narrow at you
*What? You did say that*
>*Not with my tits half out, voice all breathy, half eye banging the guy and I didn’t say that. I called him ingenious*
*Same thing*
>”T-Thank you. But I’m afraid Haytrail is at least a two-day trip from Canterlot, we don’t have the rail line down here”
“Haytrail? Canterlot?”
>”Oh! I’m sorry, forgot you were aliens for a second. The town we’re in is Haytrail and our capitol’s Canterlot. It’s a big white castle in the cliff side built by unicorns.” He states matter-of-factly
“Thank you dear. We have a way around the time issue.”
>”Oh yeah, spaceships.” He says with a hoof-slap to the forehead
>That was one option, you had something more fun in mind, just a little hobby of yours
>Sky raises her hoof
>”I have a question. You guys aren’t here to invade, right?”
>”Don’t worry, we’re just here on a retrieval op.” Anon Answers
>She sighs with relief
>”Good. It’s just with the whole royal knight and dame thing and being all muscly and also being aliens, I was just a little worried we’d have a full-on invasion.”
>”Hahah, that’s absurd.” Anon chuckles
“Our oaths actually pledge us to protect the less advanced species.”
>”Less advanced?” The mare asks with offence
>Anon covers for you
>”She didn’t mean it like that. Less advanced technologically wise. The universe is a dangerous place and all life deserves to be given a chance at greatness.”
>The mare rest’s her hoof against his hand, eyes half-lidded
>”How chivalrous of you Knight.” She says, all too sensually
>…
>Fuck…
>That little pony could be more seductive than you
>Dutifully Knight 096 doesn’t flinch away, but nor does he acknowledge the contact, instead going quiet
“It is indeed Sky.” You reply for him
>You were such a good friend

<| °_° |>

>Be Knight 096
>Sky’s hoof was still on your hand, somehow gently squeezing the top
>Bad touch!
>What was with this horse?
“Speaking of technology, I’ve a question for you Ratchet.”
>He nods
>”Go ahead.”
“When we first met, at my ships equipment module, you broke a piece of electronics, a personal processor.”
>”Oh, so that’s what it’s called.”
“Yes, but when you first took me into your home you’d fixed it. How exactly did you do that?”
>He grins
>”That’s my super special talent! It’s what I got my cutie mark for, have a look.”
>He stands up and flashes his rear to everyone, displaying the symbol on his flanks
>It was how you remembered it, a series of gears with a hammer hitting them apart
“And was that tattooed on?”
>”Don’t be stupid. When a pony finds that special something that makes them unique their cutie marks appear. I guess it’s like a coming of age thing.”
“And these marks dictate your future?”
>His head shakes
>”Not at all, while many ponies end up working in a job suited for their talents they don’t have to.”
“The majority do though?”
>“Well… pretty much everypony really, but think of it like this, if you were super good at something, and it was something that you both loved doing and made you special, and on top of all that you got payed to do it? Wouldn’t you?”
>Femanon laughs
>”He’s got you beat there Anon. Where do I sign up for my butt mark?”
>”Heh, I don’t think humans can get them, sorry.”
“So what exactly is your talent that you’ve got that on your flank?”
>”Ponies always ask me to explain my talent but I can never do it justice, it’s kind of hard to understand.”
“I’m good at understanding, go ahead.”
>”Well, I’m a pretty nifty tinkerer, but sometimes when I touch things, especial things I don’t understand, they kind of fall apart.”
“Not just apart, but into every individual component, I saw what you’d done to it. A perfect deconstruction, like nothing I’d seen before, until of course you put it back together.”
>He smirks with self-satisfaction
>”That’s the other part to it. I think there’s a cycle, first I break something apart and somehow learn about all the individual bits and how they work, then, when I really focus and try my hardest, I can somehow put everything back in place, and after that I just… /know/ how to use the thing.”
>Femanon whistles, clearly impressed
>”Now that’s some talent. You are going to come in handy.”
“That is fairly… unique.”
*This magic crap must be off the scales levels of reality manipulating bullshit* You send off to femanon
>*Don’t you just love it?*
“Do you guys envision any problems meeting your leader?”
>They seem offended you even asked
>”Princess Celestia is the wises most benevolent pony in the world, she could only greet you with kindness.” Ratchet exclaims
>Ouch. You didn’t like the sound of that
>Benevolent leader? Tyrannical more likely, no race has ever called their leaders benevolent
>Femanon’s frown mirrored yours
>*That sounds bad. But things have been so idyllic thus far we can only hope*
“So are you guys fine to leave anytime? I know you probably had plans for today before we popped in.”
>”Well we were going to spend the day testing out the new go-kart I designed but…” Leads Ratch
“Oh, that engine we picked up was…”
>He nods
>”Yep all that’s left.”
>Femanon grins viciously
>”Did you say go-kart? Fan of speed are we sweetie?”
>His chest swells with pride
>”You could say I’m a bit of an adrenaline junky.”
>”Then do I have a surprise for you!”
>Oh no. You knew what this was

<| °_° |>

>With the importance of meeting their leader’s in mind the unanimous decision was called to leave for Canterlot post-haste
>Femanon’s surprise had lead you all outside to her cargo freighter
>The unloading bay opened and out descended one of Femanon’s more frowned upon hobbies
>War and espionage wasn’t a 24/7 thing
>The Royal sect of humanities defence force had a lot of downtime
>They also experience a lot of trauma, both mental and physical
>Justly so they were encouraged to participate in a range of extracurricular activities in their ample free time to ease the mind and soul
>As per usual Femanon had chosen to defy the standard and, even after some more than heavy handed persuasion tactics from Command to convince her otherwise, she had decided to participate in an unusual pass time
>She was a Rally driver, or that’s what it had started as
>It was well known among your fellow soldiers and even some upper management that her passions had escalated somewhat, delving into one of the interplanetary illegal racing collectives
>And by delving you mean leading
>She’d started a small racing group before her stasis period, and well, yadda, yadda, yadda, one hundred years later it was booming and she slotted back in as the boss
>Only now they raced light space craft through firefights and were some of the best pilots of the military
>They stayed true to their racing origins however, priding themselves on “Burning the rubber” as they said, on unspoilt grounds
>At this stage of humanities young life 'unspoilt ground' meant uncolonized planets, like this one
>And that was where in came the true illegal aspect of the hobby
>In truth rally driving, street racing, drags and drifting were legal in all cities on all planets under the confederation’s protection
>The reason was simple, with modern technologies it was literally impossible to crash a motor vehicle, the car wouldn’t let you
>What was illegal was hooning said sophisticated technologies unsupervised and unabated up and down the terrains of alien worlds, more than likely populated by unsophisticated natives
>And that was exactly what she was doing
>But fuck it, DEFCON 1
>And you do like to go fast
>Out of the unloading bay comes an automobile foreign to you
>The vehicle presses to the ground and automatically rolls forward, shining sleekly in the now midday sunlight
>It was a deep purple, the outside tightly curved and aerodynamic, a true beauty
>Just one problem
“Oh God what the hell is that Femanon!? It has actual wheels, and a combustion engine! You own a coffin on wheels.”
>”You can’t drift using mag-wells or omni-spheres and you know it. Gotta have that good old rubber!”
“We aren’t drifting! Think something more like a gentle Sunday drive with grandma’s dying ass in the back, slow and steady or she’s gone. They don’t even have real roads.”
>She pokes her tongue out as the car’s hydraulics lifts it from the rough ground to accommodate the suddenly growing wheels
>They expand out to about one and a half their normal size, the hardened rubber flipping over in a series of scales to reveal heavy metal plating with several rows of extruding hexagonal pyramids running along the outside
>By the look of it now she could churn through anything. Femanon was set on driving
>She smiles all to sweetly at you
>”Who needs proper roads? All-terrain Nonnykins.”
>Ratchet looks over the smooth and oppressive vehicle, whistling with awe
>”I wish my little go-kart could do that.”
>”You like her? It’s a SioX, unstoppable and fast as lightning! I’ll see if I’ve got a spare back on Terra to give you.”
“WHAT!? No, I’m sorry Ratch but that’s not happening.”
>They both look at you sulkily
>”He could just drive it with his mind.”
“No.”
>She pouts at you but for whatever reason the two both go quiet and start smiling
>You could tell from a mile off they were privately communicating something
“Whatever you’re planning don’t even think about it, and trust me, I know you’re thinking about it.”
>Ratch was about to say something before being cut off by Sky
>”I call shotgun!” She shouts, running up to the door, opening it with her nanonics and hopping into the large chair, looking smug as all hell among the relatively giant vehicle
>Or she would have if she weren’t so damn cute!
“Has anyone ever said how adorable you are?” You question with a soliloquy
>Fuck!
>You should not have said that. You didn’t even mean to say it aloud!
>She blushes and looks away, fluttering a hoof to cool her face
>”A-adorable? Me? No, I’m not adorable.”
>She looks back to you
>“I think you’re cute though, maybe you could ride up front with me?”
>Femanon fails to choke back her witches’ cackle
“Err, I’ll be fine in the back with Ratchet, right buddy?”
>He nods emphatically, sensing your discomfort
>”Oh well, maybe on the trip home?”
“I’ll have to think about it.”
>Femanon walks around to the driver’s seat and gets in
>”Come on you lazy boys, get in! Sheesh, back on Terra they always use to say it was the women holding up road trips.”
>The two of you scurry into the back
>The inside was nice, fully black with a thin trim of fluorescent purple lighting along the curves
>You sense someone accessing the cars databanks
>”Why is this thing measured in horsepower? 1,500hp, is that a lot?” Asks Sky
>Femanon’s mouth twitches upwards in a flash of a smile
>”I don’t know, you tell me?” She replies rhetorically
“It is Sky, for something like this at least. As for horsepower, it’s just a very old measurement used by ancient humans when first constructing engines. I believe it was used as a comparison for a steam engine’s output.”
>”Wait, so you have horses on your planet?”
“Kind of, they’re an analogue of what’s here. They’re not sentient like you guys.”
>She looks away
>”…Oh.”
>She sounded so disappointed, until Femanon starts the car and it roars to life
>This engine was not a quiet one
>The car shook violently just sitting in place
>”Buckle up everyone, safety first ya know?”
“There’s no way this is safe.”
>The two natives were looking beyond excited, Ratchet in particular, they didn’t care for their safety
>”This is going to be fun!” He exclaims
>Sky begins laughing
>”So long as you’re not at the wheel, I seem to recall flying to my doom in the wreck of a go-kart this morning.”
>She looks conflicted by a sudden thought
>”And now I’m here, in a futuristic motor carriage with aliens. I think I just realised how strange this really is. Doesn’t it all feel a little surreal to you guys?” She asks
“Not really. You’d be surprised how often stuff like this can happen in dire situations.”
>”Are you saying something exactly like this has happened before?”
“No, just that I’ve seen stranger things, the universe is a big place.”
>She turns back, satisfied with your answer
>”Let’s roll.” Femanon says
>The sleek car tore the hardened earth beneath it to soft dirt as the wheels spun out with the sudden application of torque
>They swiftly gain traction and lift themselves from the pits they’d dug and the car pulls away, already accelerating at a frightful pace as she swerves around the house and bursts through the small gate out front
>”Hey! You’re paying for that!” shouts Sky as the house very quickly becomes a small figure in the distance
>Femanon only laughs, briefly looking back at Ratchet who smirks
>Suddenly you’re gaining pace at such speed your small weaker companions were being pushed back into their chairs
*I think you’re over doing it Dame034!*
>*Who me? No I don’t think I am*
>The smugness in that message had you very worried
>If anything nearby couldn’t hear the deafening roar of the engine as the quartet set off they would have been able to spot the great dust cloud kicked up by its spinning wheels from miles away
>Femanon clearly wasn’t feeling stealthy today

<| °_° |>

>Be Ratchet
>Be sitting in the back of the great metal beast you believed to be the final evolution of the motorised cart
>Also be driving said magnificent beast
>From the moment the car started Femanon switched control to you, like she promised when Anon had crushed your excitement earlier
>You didn’t mean to go speeding around the corner or through the gate, but boy was it fun!
>The car had even given you a damage report after the collision
>Not a scratch
>As you adjust directions with your mind and hit the more stable part of the gravel road you feel Femanon egging you on
>*She’s got more juice than that sweetie, and the scanners say there’s nothing ahead for kilometres, put the pedal to the metal*
>You had to access your nanonics to understand the idiom, but once you had the car truly rumbles to life, accelerating so swiftly as to force you back into your chair, the soft cushioning taking some of the building G-force
>You decide to try something wild
>The computer system kept sending you messages to activate sensor view and something was telling you it was the right idea
>The world around you fades to white
>Before you know it your vision hovered several meters above the rear of the car in 3rd-pony, providing a serene view of you and your surroundings
>This was so cool!
>The car sped along the narrow path, hurtling past the numerous beasts, curious at the peculiar object racing by
>Unbeknown to you were the tiny subsonic emissions from specialised components within the machine to prevent them from venturing too close and spoiling your good time
>Thankfully you’d yet to encounter anypony else on the road; Haytrail didn’t get a lot of traffic
>A curve approaches and you’re sent a message from the car’s computer
**Approaching bend at dangerous speed, road conditions are poor. User must slowdown or increase traction**
>Slowdown? No fricking way!
>You feel the slightest judder as the protruding pyramids covering the wheels become rough and grooved, allowing you to take the bend at a higher speed
>Great chunks of earth sprayed in arcs from the wheels as you swung around
>*You’re a natural Ratch! The trick is never slow down* Femanon sends to you, her message filling the mental link, and your mind, with joy
*Thanks. I’m certainly doing better than this morning*
>*What happened this morning? I wasn’t here ‘til lunch*
*Oh, Sky and I were testing out a motorised cart I built, problem was I forgot the breaks and well… only the motor remains now*
>She bursts out with laughter, the sweet sound ringing pleasurably in your ears
>The random outburst draws strange looks from Sky and Anon
>*You poor boy, I bet you got pretty hurt*
*No, we got out of it unscathed*
>*Oh… too bad*
>That was more upsetting to you than you thought it could ever be
*What!? Why?*
>*Because I would have loved to have kissed your boo-boos away, and I bet you would have had them /all/ over your body*
>Meep
>*So? Are you sure you didn’t get hurt?*
>The car swerves as you grow faint
*M-maybe I got a little hurt*
>*Then maybe I’ll have to help you, I promise you’ll feel so much better afterwards*
>Oh Celestia!
>You weren’t use to this kind of attention, especially when being, well, yourself!
>Most mares didn’t find the geeky, crazy engineer pony to be much of a catch
>Why did she tease you so? Was she being serious? You’d never be able to tell until she was upon you
>It left you on edge in a way you’d never felt before
>The hairs on your neck were raised in an excitement different from that of controlling the overpowered vehicle
>In some ways Femanon reminded you of Sky, a slightly upsetting realisation, but no way could you think of your friend in the ways you did this alien beauty
>Why did you feel these things? She was an alien!
>But… So beautiful
>Was this how Sky felt? You couldn’t see the supposed cuteness she insisted Anonymous possessed, but then she didn’t seem all that interested in how Femanon was looking
>You really couldn’t judge her for how she’d been treating Anon anymore, could you? All you knew was there was something strange with how ponies perceived these humans
>Pushing the thoughts from your mind you focus back on the road
>For a long time you drove under the guidance of Femanon and the computer, gliding along the rough terrain flawlessly
>Driving was easy when you could do it with your mind and a bird’s eye view
>Eventually you did pass a few ponies as you approached Canterlot and the road grew wider
>Femanon told you to slow down to a walking pace and pass them, leaving many a pony gawking at the extraordinary sight, especially after Sky began winding down the window whenever you passed a group to look smugly down at them and pull random faces
>She just couldn’t help herself
>The sun had begun to set by the time Canterlot had even come into view, despite the incredible speed of your travel
>The road branched off down a few side paths the closer you drew and eventually you pull off down one of the smaller, more beaten ones
>Aside from the fact you were now flying over every bump in the road sending rushes of adrenaline through your body, the road also offered a less populated shortcut to the Canterlot foot hills, one you once took as a colt with your family
>The four of you move along the track, mood at an all-time high, unbeknown to the impending danger just hidden in the distance

<| °_° |>

>Be Knight Anon096
>Femanon must be trying to impress the natives, because this driving was fast and furious
>No one was complaining, in fact it was excited grins all round
>Speeding along a slippery gavel road in a high-powered vehicle certainly got the heart pumping, no wonder this was Femanon’s hobby, the adrenaline junky
>Thankfully the road was mostly straight and oddly empty, making it an easy journey
>Sky continually looks back at you as if she were searching your face for something
>*So… Anon, you’ve still got my make-up on*
>Shit
*Heheh, yeah. I kind of got caught up in Femanon’s wake, guess I forgot about it.*
>*It’s a good look, you’re so cute*
*… You don’t really think I’m cute do you?*
>She ponders that all to long for your liking
>*Well yeah, because you are... You said I was adorable. Do /you/ actually think that?*
>Damn pony, you couldn’t lie to that face
*… Yes*
>She turns back around and squeals happily to herself, saying something indecipherable to the translation program you had running
>Bad pony, please stop getting the wrong idea
>Ratchet looked oddly focused, yet his eye’s had gone vacant, starring at nothing in particular
*Hey Ratchet?*
>*Hmm?*
*You’re friend is a great girl and all, but I don’t think what she wants will work out* You message, expressing your worries, hoping he’d have an easy solution to your problem
>He was her best friend after all
>He fills the link with his adorable, yet mocking horse laughter
>*Sorry Anon, once she decides she want’s something, she gets it. I’ve known her since foalhood, and I’ve seen every relationship she’s ever had. It’ll be a war of attrition, one you’ll lose*
>You raise an incredulous eyebrow
*Are you sure about that?*
>His eyes suddenly refocus and look upon the still happily squirming mare
>*I’m sure* he sends back with a smile
>… Despite your training, you were feeling worried
>Especially now you nanonics had managed to translate what Sky’d been saying
>”He thinks I’m cute” repeated again and again at near lightspeed
>Oh jeez
>You feel her open a mental link with you
>*So Anon, I was wondering, would you mind letting me paint your portrait? It would be such an honour*
*If we have the time*
>She bounces around excitedly, working herself up further
>*You know this will be my first time meeting the Princesses too, well actually I met Celestia once at the Grand Galloping Galla, that was when Pinkie Pie was in charge and everypony as invited. Hah what a night*
>Her small tale felt heart-warming, but something niggled at you
*Princesses? I thought you only had one leader, this Princess Celestia*
>*Oh no, we also have Princess Luna, she controls the moon and night, Celestia has dominion of the sun and day*
>Jesus fuck what? They control the sun and moon? Fuck off they did
*That’s… unbelievable*
>*Really? You don’t have that? You’re so strange!* she sends back before you’d even closed the link
>How was she so hyperactive? Was her medical stimulant broken?
>You check its status to find all the neural inhibitors and depressants depleted
>She had enough drugs in her to put even you to sleep
>Damned magic, how’s it work?
*How are you alive?*
>*What? I’m sorry but… Don’t you know? Well, my mom met my dad and when a mare and stallion like each other very much the get together an-
*No please, don’t worry, I was just being strange again, but you certainly are a special pony*
>Fuck! You did it again without even realising it! At least you didn’t say it allowed for Femanon to hear
>She blushes and looks away from you
>*Why thank you, kind Knight*
>You really had to stop talking
>The car slows as you pass your first set of natives
>A family of five, the father was pulling the others along in a wooden cart
>They all dart off the road in fear, before creeping out again to gaze in amazement as the mysterious purple vehicle drove away
>”We’ll be making a few tales around the dinner table tonight.” Ratchet absently comments
>Likely there would be more than a few, as the small road widens the closer you get to your objective and the number of travellers increases dramatically
>It was interesting at first watching the various befuddled reactions of the natives, but it lost its lustre around the hundredth group you passed
>Eventually it even felt tedious, having to slow down so much each time
>*Hey Anon, check this out!* comes the excited message from Sky as yet another group of ponies appear over the approaching horizon
>What was this silly pony planning now?
>As per usual the car slows to a snail’s pace and moves to give the group of gawking and bewildered ponies a wide birth
>Apart from the usual was Sky, who'd clearly grown board of being unknown to the frequent and confused onlookers, this time winding down the window as you approach
>Her head leans out, the biggest shitfaced grin on her muzzle as the confused natives hoot and holler at the perplexity of what they saw
>Waves of self-satisfaction and joy were radiating from her with all the attention
>Just something about being a pony in a futuristic locomotive device really seemed to impress other natives you know?
*Couldn't possibly understand why* You think to yourself with a roll of the eyes
>They were enamoured with her, from what you could make out they seemed to think it was all a spell she'd cast and were most interested in her magical repertoire
>That interest fades fast when she starts to pull faces and stick her tongue out, yet to answer their numerous questions
>She never had the opportunity anyway, as Femanon deems the group now far enough away she could safely punch the gas
>The car almost launches into the air as it takes off, belting away at a frightening pace, leaving the group of natives in a spray of dust and bafflement
>Sky was in fits of laughter as she watched the small figures disappear in the rear-view mirror
>*How funny was that? They freaked out!*
*Not unlike you waking up before*
>*What! Not even! I was cool as a cucumber, the coolest cucumber around*
*Bit of a strange cucumber*
>*Strange things add the spice to life*
>She looks back at you with bedroom eyes
>*And I bet you'd love to spice life up with me. Maybe we can see how cool your cucumber is?*
>Oh please god no. Was this one taking lines from Femanon?
*I think I’ll be fine for now thanks* You send back, ending the playful banter
>She looked tremendously sad, until the next cluster of travelling ponies appears
>The window was already down
>You weren't going to stop her from having a little fun
>She was right, you did find it comical to watch their confusion as she jumped about pulling faces
>So heart-warming to see a creature with such passion for life, even when it's only directed to immaturity
>Thankfully for all the ponies you were yet to pass and leave in your confusing wake you would never arrive to do so, as Femanon takes a sudden right turn down a dingy side track, away from the growing general populace
>The car shook with a fury moving so swiftly over the rough grounds, even with the enhance wheels
*Are you all right there Femanon? Do you know where you're going?*
>*But of course, it's just a shortcut* Comes the slyest response possible
>She had no idea where she was going did she?
*I swear If you get us lost on a foreign planet again... We don't even have the most basic satellite tracking with us!* you send her exasperatedly
>*It'll be fine trust me*
>That cocky self-assurance of hers always pissed you off, but you could never argue with it
>It was just that… wait a sec…
>A few things suddenly click in your mind
>The rapid, inexperienced, acceleration and breaking, the complete lack of stealth tactics Femanon was so fond of, and a seemingly innate knowledge of where she was going with no understanding of the surrounding regions
*Which one of them is driving?*
>Roars of laughter flow from Femanon
>*Took you long enough Nonnykins, I can’t believe we pulled the wool over your eyes for so long! You can thank our friend Ratchet for the ride today*
>The blank look on his face was suddenly making a lot of sense
>You didn’t need your eyes when using the car’s sensors
"So, what do you think of driving Ratchet?" You ask aloud
>There was no point being mad with him when you were going to be mad with Femanon later
>He jumps, startled that you'd caught him out
>Sky's little hoof smacks her forehead
>"Sheesh, Ratch is driving? How are we even alive?"
>The car slams to a stop, sending everyone near flying from their seat
>"What did I just say?" She asks of everyone, looking back at him angrily as she pushes herself off the windscreen
"... Ouch, I didn't say you had to stop you know..."
>Panic was evident on his features, like a child who'd just broken something beyond the realm of expensive
>"W-what? I didn't! The computer stopped responding to me."
>Femanon's hand beckons for attention
>"Sorry everyone, that was me."
"Why would you bother taking control back now? He got us here well enough so far, heck he was good enough it took me this long to figure it out. Props by the way Ratchet, even with neural nanonics for a first-timer this has been very impressive. You ponies certainly can pick things up fast."
>He waves your compliment off with a hoof, trying, and failing, to ward off the inevitable embarrassment
>"I took back control because you distracted him, and there's also that." She says, pointing ahead of the car
>You peer forward to see what she was referring to
>About a hundred metres ahead was a cobblestone bridge traversing a small rivulet
>Blocking the path were two upturned hay carts and one lonesome, crying, pale blue mare, cherry brown mane a tangled mess
>You access the car's sensors to get a closer look
>Images of the weeping pony flash into your mind
>What little make-up the mare did have on was currently running down her face
>Her eyes were painfully bloodshot
>How long must she have been out here crying? What had happened?
>Femanon springs to action
>"We need that path cleared. Sky, Ratch, you two go investigate, we're in a rush and don't want someone freaking out over meeting an alien. Hopefully she'll just need your help getting those carts back in order. Ratchet, if you are anything like the mechanical wiz Knight Anon claims you to be it should be a cinch."
>"Can do!" They reply in happy unison, removing themselves from the vehicle and trotting down the track
"And are we just going to be waiting?"
>She snorts indignantly at you
>"Pff, please, I will be waiting, /you/ will be tailing from the bushes. This whole situation screams ‘trap’ a mile off."
>She was right. One visible pony, two large carts blocking a choke point, it didn't add up, how'd such a pony even manage to upturn both carts?
>One would have been reasonable, but two? And such a small mare?
>Why even have two carts!?
>Femanon breaks you of the thought
>"Huh? You know what? She's not even crying, check out her make-up again."
>As she says so an enlarged real-time video of the mare’s face appears on the cars windscreen
>Sure enough there weren’t any tears there, her make-up had been purposely done to imitate the appearance of a broken mare
>You catch her glancing down the road towards your two approaching and now visible friends, the hints of a wicked grin curling her muzzle ever so slightly upwards
"Yep. It’s a trap."
>"Well, go on then! Before anyone does anything stupid, like try to hurt my little pony."
"I agree, except he's not your pony."
>”We’ll see.”

<| °_° |>

>You slowly trot with Sky towards the upset looking mare
*This has been some day hey?* You absently comment to Sky as you go
>*Bet you’re glad I talked you into investigating Anon's crash now. Gosh imagine if you'd let the elements of harmony do it!*
*I can, and I don't think I could stand another mandatory celebration of them being such good friends that they somehow saved the damn world with rainbows and farts, yet again!*
>If rainbows and friendship was all life needed you'd be a very successful engineer, maybe in electronics or mechatronics?
>But no, you were an adequate mechanic working at a failing shop in a tiny town, always wanting more, always feeling the need to truly satiate the desires of your cutie mark but never quite getting there
>What you really needed was luck
*I guess we can’t all be the main characters of life*
>Sky nods solemnly
>*Too true, too true*
>You keep moving closer
>An evil grin springs forth on Sky’s muzzle
>*So... do you think the elements fuck each other? I heard they do*
"What!?" You shout, gaining the attention of the crying mare ahead
*What is wrong with you!?*
>*Nothing, not that I know of at least* She sends back, far too sweetly for what she’d just said
*Sometimes I wonder*
>*Don't be like that. I know you've heard the rumours too. I mean come on, they can disappear for a few days at a time, often to visit the Princess of /love/ for some royal crystal kingdom crap*
>*I bet they’re getting her to pound their puffy pony pu-*
*Okay, wow, I’m stopping you there. That is something else. Can we never talk again please? You are so disgusting!*
>She breaks up with laughter, drawing further strange looks from the mare ahead
>Celestia what must the poor mare be thinking?
>Two ponies silently walking up to her, one randomly shouting out and the other bursting to laughter?
>*Do you really have the right to think that when you’ve got to expend genuine effort not to get a boner around Femanon?*
>As Anon would have put it: Oh God...
*W-wha... Why Sky? Why? You need to stop watching me so closely! No privacy!*
>*I've known you longer than you've known yourself, I hate to admit something like this, but I can tell when you're aroused. Maybe it's a best friend thing?*
*Sometimes I wonder if we're even friends at all*
>*Would you even entertain the thought of this conversation with anypony else?*
>Honestly? You couldn't. She was like a sister to you, and making fun of each other was all part of the relationship
*Wasn't I meant to be the smart one?*
>*Yeah with gadgets and technology. I'm the one who's good with ponies and their emotions*
>The crying mare was very close now, your conversation would have to end, but first...
*Smart with your emotions are you now? Tell me what you think of Anon again would you?*
>You cut the mental contact before she can reply, galloping ahead to close the distance to the crying pony, snickering under your breath at the discomfort radiating from Sky
>The mare on the bridge staggers to her hooves and goes to speak
>”You have to help me! I was attacked by wild animals and now I can’t get my carts back up. I think one of the wheels is broken.”
>Sounds like something you could deal with, although you’d never heard of any animals attacking around here before, it was too close to Canterlot
“We’re on it mare’am.”
>You trot up to the carts
>”If you look deep at the back there you might be able to see a crack in the rear.” She suggests
>You and Sky crouch down and crawl under the carts to assess the damage
>Everything looked fine to you
“I think you’re just panicked from the attack, the carts are fine, let’s help you get them back up.” You say, shimmying out from underneath
>”I don’t think so.” Comes her response
“What- Ouch!”
>Did she just hit your head with a wooden club!?
>Sky crawls out at your cry of pain
>Slightly disorientated you managed to steady yourself to face the shocked looking mare
>”Y-you should be unconscious! I’ve cracked skulls before with this!” She claims, words fumbled behind the wooden bat in her muzzle
>”Yeah he’s got a thick skull.” Laughs Sky
>And some brand new alien technology protecting your brain
>She eventually stops laughing at her own quip and sobers up
>”So I guess this is actually a robbery?”
>The mystery mare nods
>”Pretty much, and I really do like that purple wagon you pulled up in. Come on out guys!”
>Seemingly from nowhere half a dozen stallions and mares appear on the bridge to surround you, each brandishing a crude weapon, one even just having barbed wire wrapped around a gloved hoof
“Uuuh, Sky?”
>”I’m not worried.”
>The group cackles mockingly
>”And why, stupid girl, is that?” the barbwire stallion asks, striding up all too menacingly to Sky
>”Because you’re just an embarrassment, I mean, bandits? In this day and age? You ought to be ashamed of yourselves! We are ponies, civilised beings of love and tolerance!”
“Sky, what in tartarus are you doing!?” You hiss through clenched teeth with her smiling at you happily
>”Being a stupid bitch I’d say, one who should be shown just how important she really is in the grand scheme of things.” The stallion says, turning about to line up a barbed buck
“SKY!”
>Time slows with the rush of adrenaline to your brain, both from your own adrenal gland and your new supplementary implants
>It helped a lot with working out the situation, but there was no way you could save Sky from becoming a living bucking-bag
>How could such a wonderful day come to such a cruel end?
>You close your eyes, but you couldn’t close your ears
>A meaty thump accompanied by the screeching of warping metal tells you the stallion’s aim had been true
>A howl of pain rings through the air immediately followed by the thud of Sky hitting the ground
>You open your eyes to see her still grinning at you, alive and well, not bleeding out on the ground
>The bucking stallion on the other hoof had fallen to the ground, clutching his hooves as if he’d just slammed them into a brick wall, wailing in agony
>What he had hit was Knight Anon096’s right calf, the muscle flexed and swollen enormously, clearly far stronger than any feeble wall
>There were small holes in his suit’s pants where the wire had torn through, but his flesh remained un-punctured
>He was tougher than you had ever expected. Were all humans like this? Just another thing to worry about if they ever turned against ponykind you suppose
>The stallion’s fancy wired gloves hadn’t fared quiet as well as Anon, having bent upon impact and broken apart
>That explained the metallic sound, but where did Anon come from? Did he just leap from the trees?
>Well, that was how he first introduced himself to you and it was effectively terrifying
>Sky grins evilly at the now scared stiff group
>”I think I also should have mentioned I’m not worried because of him. Guess I am pretty important in the grand scheme then” She says to the plaintively wailing stallion, her words dripping with smug delight
>You did feel a great sense of satisfaction that these crooks would earn their immediate comeuppance
“What happened to waiting in the car?” You ask the Knight
>”What happened to can we just get out of here already? I don’t want to hurt these guys.”
“Nu-uh! Kick their asses! Smash some skulls Anon, that one already tried it on me!” You shout, pointing an accusing hoof at the mare you’d tried to help
>”I’m sorry Ratch, we aren’t here too hurt your people, but to save them. We will report them to your princesses if that’s satisfactory to you.”
>Barring an epic alien beat down Anon’s offer would have to do
“Fine.” You answer with a curt nod
>The group of ponies shakes themselves of their shock and poises to strike
>Anon raises his hands non-threateningly
>”Whoa there you little buggers. I’m giving you one warning, put down your weapons or you’ll regret it. This place has been so idyllic thus far, don’t ruin your planet with such savageries.”
>The cherry brown maned mare looks straight passed him over to Sky, giving the whimpering stallion on the ground a kick, making him scamper away
>”This creature yours?”
>Shy nods vehemently
>”I’ll enjoy taking him from you. I’ve been looking for a new cutie to snuggle at night.”
>Anon sighs dejectedly
>Perhaps he couldn’t see his own adorableness just as you couldn’t
>”Are you even listening to me?” He asks angrily
>The mare raises a hoof to quiet him
>”Shhh, Shhh. The mares are speaking sweetie, but trust me, I’ll get back to you later.”
>Another mare steps forward and pokes the first in the side
>”/We’ll/ be getting back to him later. You can’t keep that all to yourself. It’s always an even split of the loot!”
>”I’m a fair boss, you girls can share him around once I’m done.”
>Anon starts shaking his head
>”No society is without sin I guess, no matter the cuteness. I think we’re just going to go if that’s okay with you.”
>The mare looks at him with annoyance, spitting on the ground at his feet
>”I don’t think so, get them!” Commands the mare
>Battle cries rang through the air as the troop charged towards Anon, then straight past him to the two of you
>He stumbles around, disorientated by the small herd of galloping ponies charging by
>The mare who’d struck you earlier was upon you from nowhere, rearing up to finish you off with her brandished club
**Activating defensive systems**
>Wha…? Neural nanonics had defensive systems? Like what?
>Looks like you were about to find out as the mare descends with the club aimed upon your shoulder
>Your body struggles and fails to roll away, all by its own volition, succeeding only in jumping and spasming about
>The flailed movement was enough for the blow to become glancing, sending only small lances of pain along your back as it passed by
**Body morphology incompatible with installed self-defence manoeuvres. Combat efficiency 0.8%**
**Analysing user morphology**
**Updating files for user body structure**
**Defensive systems updated. Combat efficiency 94%**
**Defensive procedures re-initiated**
>The mare pulls back and swivels around to strike again, but receives a swift hoof to the gut when you reflexively (at least it was a reflex for you now) roll back up and pirouette towards her
>The mare falls, her breakfast spraying upon the ground as she retched
>You scuttle back up to see Anon grumpily looking at the unfolding chaos, completely ignored
>You were feeling a little more jovial, especially at having learnt you could now kick ass like never before
>But more ponies were approaching and all the worst another batch had emerged from the other side of the bridge
>Thankfully the upturned carts slowed their approach
>Sky was busy shaking some poor stallion around in her telekinesis as a newcomer dives from over the cart
>You leap up on instinct and tackle the incoming stallion mid-air
>The two of you go flying over the side, plummeting to the river below
>You close your eyes before impact, yet you soar upwards, caught in Sky’s telekinetic grip
>Both the stallion you’d tackled and the one she held earlier splash into the water
>You’re put back onto the bridge
>*Thank me later*
>You look back to Anon, now looking angry as Femanon pulls up in the car and walks over, laughing at the scene
“You know you two could help!”
>Anon simply walks to the amassing ponies and flips a cart back to its wheels with one arm, then proceeds to lift you and Sky into it, all the while accepting the feeble beating the bandits were inflicting
>They were genuinely nothing to him, and it had you scared, even the bandits assault had slowed somewhat when they saw he wasn’t going down
>He gently walks the cart across the bridge, past the second group and away from the fight, leaving Femanon to distract the group
>Safely across the bridge you jump out of the cart and watch the battle unfold
>Femanon was easily holding her own against them; by doing nothing. It would seem a common human tactic
>All the stallions shied back from her, looking embarrassed and refusing to attack
>”We could never harm a mare so beautiful.”
>She crouches down to the speaker
>”Oh, how dear of you.”
>Her palm darts out and smacks his muzzle, sending him sprawling
>”I’m still going to harm you though.”
>She grabs the remaining cart and tosses the groaning and disorientated stallion into it
>”I’ve got the time-out bin Nonnykins, chuck ‘em in here.”
>”On it.” He responds, rushing back into the fray
>A small net is thrown at him by the gaggle of trilling mares intent on taking him down, one which he effortlessly catches and tosses away
>”He’s not going down! Pin him!”
>Several ponies dive onto his legs and arms, attempting to drag him down
>Movement completely unhindered he plucks his attackers off one by one, grabbing the napes of their neck and throwing them into the hay cart
>Femanon had made short work of the others, doing much the same thing as Anon
>Their size and extreme strength made the whole thing a bit unfair, and quite honestly absurd to watch
>You could have sworn just moments ago, you were fighting for your literal life with these bandits and now they were just being tossed around like sacs of flour
>All ne’er-do-wells disorientated and stored away Femanon lifts the cart and throws it over the edge to splash into the river
>The group cries abysmally as they’re slowly swept downstream in their cart made impromptu raft
>Anonymous stands majestically with his paws on his hips, watching the bandits sail away, the setting sun framing his figure
>”That was easier than I thought it would b- AH”
>He goes flying from the bridge, being pulled along with the group of bandit ponies
>He’d be caught by a unicorn!
“Fuck! What do we do!?”
>He was flailing wildly as the unicorn shook him about mid-air, repeatedly dunking his head under the water, all the while dragging him away with them
>He recovers his bearings fast, as if weightlessness was a natural state to him and swivels around in the air, straightening his body parallel to the ground
>His paw reaches for something around his belt
>Object in hand he aims it away from the unicorn mare that had taken him and pulls a tiny lever on the device
>The sound of the gun being fired echoed through the air, blasting at your eardrums
>The immense kinetic energy expelled from the shot launches Anon directly to the mare and other ponies
>The once smug looking unicorn’s eyes widen in fear as the unyielding creature soars towards her, paw outstretched, a true figure of coming doom
>Before she has time to react he’s upon her, paw wrapping around her horn
>His arm jerks down, slamming her head into the cart’s wooden floor boards
>He splashes into the water as the now unconscious mare collapses
>Gosh your heart was racing!
>That was intense
>How did he do that!? Nopony could take even a poorly skilled unicorn head on. As far as you knew moving in a telekinetic hold was just about impossible
>Anon emerges some ways down the river and glumly walks back to the bridge, accompanied by Femanon’s mental laughter
>”I got the make-up off…”

<| °_° |>

>The remainder of the journey was thankfully uneventful
>You reached the Canterlot foothills by dusk and decided to walk all the way up, it was time to be a little more discrete per Anon’s request
>Sky and yourself felt ever so embarrassed your extra-terrestrial guests had to see such a violent side of your world
>While new technological growth was certainly creating jobs and accelerating your race on the way to humanities level of sophistication, it did have a dark side
>Automated factory lines had recently been cause to lay off many old workers, all of whom were given many choices for their future, all government funded to keep them on their hooves, but some resented being expunged from their small idyllic worlds, refusing to look at the greater picture of progress
>Thus now was a very dangerous time to travel the back roads of Canterlot, where most of the old workers amassed in angry mobs
>None of this you knew of course, Haytrail was stuck on a permanent slow news day and word of the capital was infrequent
>It was a long walk up the cliff side, the long, narrow, and endlessly winding road just kept going!
>To your shame you couldn’t make it on hoof, having to be carried by Femanon about half way up
>You could salvage some pride considering Sky had given in only a quarter of the way up, latching to Knight Anon’s leg until he draped her over his shoulders like a fancy scarf
>Everytime a fellow traveller passed your two aliens would duck off into the nooks and crannies of the cliff face, hiding away
>It made travel slow going, even at this time of day, or night; which by the time you’d reached the city walls it truly was
“Looks like we’ll get there just in time to interrupt dinner.” You note
>Sky’s head bolts up from around Anon’s shoulder
>”Did you say dinner? I’m so hungry! Do we get to eat with the princesses?!”
“I don’t think so, but we have a problem if we want to stay undercover. Canterlot has quite the nightlife, there’s no way we can get to the castle unnoticed.”
>Anon stands tall
>”You guys go through the city and make your way to the castle on your own, we’ll meet you inside just beyond the gate, trust me.”
“I do Knight.”
>”Good luck Ratchet.”
“Come on Sky, get off Anon and let’s go.”
>She sighs glumly and jumps down
>Your two alien companions fade into the darkness
>”Do you really think they’ll meet us there?” Asks Sky
“Of course, they will.” You answer, the city gates drawing closer
>There wasn’t a doubt in your mind

<| °_° |>

“So what’s the plan Femanon?”
>The genetically enhanced woman looks at you sceptically
>”Me? I thought you had a plan, you’re the one that sent the natives away.”
>You grin dopily
“Yeah, but you’re the sneaky one.”
>”Grr, fine! Obviously, we’ll take the sewers.”
“Now you’re thinking. Lead the way."
>The two of you trek around the outer wall until you locate a sewer grate nestled among some boulders, its refuse draining into a small stream flowing over the cliffs edge
>Tearing the grate away proved easy enough
>What didn’t was moving effectively through the pony sized pipes, forcing you to crouch and slowly trudge through the endless foul muck
>The job got easier as you went along, with the pipes opening to genuine stone sewers, allowing you to move on small walkways
>The gel-like base of your shoes provided enough grip to counteract the slippery algae and slimes growing upon the floor
>The next problem you faced was navigation
>Thankfully the one landmark you were moving to was the largest and most obvious. All you had to do was intermittently pry open a manhole... ponyhole, to peer out the top and relocate the massive white castle, then readjust your direction
>Each time you pop up the castle was that little bit closer
>Along with its approach came a distinct change in the underground's atmosphere
“Is it just me, or is it getting hot down here?”
>The once cold, clammy air of the fetid sewers had gained an alarming heat to it, bringing an intolerable humidity to the tunnels
>”Dude. I am sweating my ass off. They’ve gotta have some heating system under that castle.”
“I’d have though they would’ve used magic, they appear to do so for everything else, but there’s a distinct rumble in the sewer walls. They could have some massive boiler.”
>”Well their heat containment systems are awful, unless they need to keep their watery shit warm.” She says, looking into the murky brown depths
>You could only hope things would cool down, but moving closer to your destination you knew that wasn’t to happen
>It was around the time you were seriously considering stripping naked that Femanon stops in her tracks to stare wide eyed into the stream
>”Knight, have a look over there.” She instructs you, pointing to an oddly glistening patch of sewage
>”Are my eyes playing tricks on me? Or is that gold under the water?”
>You move closer and crouch down
>Sure enough, just under the slowly flowing water was a small pile of gold coins and jewellery
“Some poor sod must’ve dropped their money down the drain.”
>”I don’t think so.” Femanon replies looking further down the dark tunnel
>You follow her gaze
>Gold, gold everywhere. Gold blocks, coins, ornaments, rare jewels, and metals, it was a small hoard of treasure piled up along the sewer
>Against the walls, in the water and hidden in every nook and cranny, simply everywhere
>”This is nice. A shame we don’t need it.”
“I just want to know why it’s here? And why the fuck it’s so hot!?”
>She just shakes her head sadly and continues
>What you’d seen initially had just been a taste of the splendours these tunnels had to offer
>The further you travelled the more it built up
>”You know I think this’s all been washed down here by the way it’s increasing, but where’d it come from originally?”
>Her question’s answered when a few rocks fall from a great crack in the ceiling and a river of coins spew forth, pouring into the slow moving stream
>She looks up the darkened hole with bewilderment
>”Have we actually died and this planet is just heaven? It’s raining gold…”
“I’ve already asked myself, and I still feel the crushing oppression of reality upon my shoulders, so I doubt it’s heaven.”
>”Right, and if it was why would you be here?”
“Real nice. Let just go through the hole, I want to see the gold’s source.”
>”And the heat, the air coming from up there feels near boiling.”
>"You know, hazarding a guess I'd say we've accidentally wandered right under the castle's treasury. It would explain why we haven’t seen any manholes lately."
>"Well their infrastructure is in dire need of repair; the place is falling apart. Now go on then, give me a boost up." Femanon instructs impatiently, having decided the dark hole in the roof to be the best direction for you to go
>Following your order Femanon's torso vanishes into the crack as you lift her upon your shoulders
>She finds something to clamp onto when her legs tighten around you and she halls both herself and yourself past the opening up into the darkened crevasse
>The cave you’d been pulled into was enormous with great stalactites and mites throwing domineering shadows along the walls, flickering with the innumerable flaming torches lining the walls
>Most impressive was the incomprehensible mountains of gold, jewels, and scrolls just laying about
>Less impressive was the damned heat! You were dying
"This is something else isn-"
>Femanon's furiously panicked waving silences you
>She grabs you by the shoulders and rotates you to face what slept outside your field of vision
>Each exhale of its breath radiated heat and smoke
*I think I know why it's been getting so hot around here*
>*I couldn't give two shits about the heat, we are leaving right now. Unicorns and magic is one thing, but a goddamned dragon is pushing it for me*
>The panic in Femanon's mental voice was real
*Don't have to tell me twice, although I doubt we'll wake it up*
>*Knowing you you'll find a way*
*Oh yeah I'll totally find a way during the time it takes me to jump back into the sewers. Just lead the way and the next manhole we find, we take and walk above ground for now*
>*My thoughts exactly. Something about the underground just got a whole lot more unappealing*
>You take a step to the hole
>Big mistake
>Your foot unknowingly catches and flicks a single coin away
>The two of you flinch as it flies into the air, pinging across the cave floor, metallic clinks echoing from all directions upon each bounce
>You both freeze in place
>Femanon looks over with absolute disbelief at your stupidity
>Looking back to see the massive slumbering lizard's eyes still closed had you more relieved than surviving your ship’s crash landing
>*Watch. Where. You're. GOING. Fucking idiot!*
*Hey, it’s still asleep isn't it?*
>*And you should be thanking your lucky stars it stays that way*
>...
*Oh no*
>*Anonymous096? What is it?* comes the concerned message
>...
"ACHOO!"
>Your sneeze was deafening in the silence of the cavern
>The reverberation seemed to last forever before the noise finally gets swallowed by the thick stone walls
>...
>"Are you fucking serious right now!?" Femanon grumbles with exasperation
>An eye as large as your entire body and as gold as the treasure surrounding it creeps open to spy out whoever so rudely interrupted it's slumber
>The massive pupil contracts in surprise when it passes over the two of you, locking on with a true hunter’s instinct
>"I've always hated you Anon096."
>At speeds one would think beyond a beast of such lumbering stature it uncoils from its hoard and raises itself to the height of the cave roof
>A great wave a treasure ripples from the pile as the dragon moves, cascading to a human crushing avalanche of gold
>It crashes to the floor and sprays in all directions, forcing you back to avoid being added to the infinite treasures of the cave
>You glance back up to the dragon, hunched over to accommodate its unholy size
>Honestly you always thought, wait, no… You factually understood that gravity prevented creatures from growing so large, but that seemed not to apply here
>Fuck it. You need to throw out everything you know about the laws of the universe on this planet
>Fucking magic, how does it work? Miracles probably
>"THIEVES! THIEVES AFTER THE ROYAL TREASURES! PRINCESS!" The dragon roars, forcing your hands over your ears to stop the drums bursting
>You had little time to appreciate it spoke Equestrian, you were preoccupied with the razor sharp and human length claws arching down from on high
>Femanon and yourself dive aside from the slash, boosted muscles straining to get the maximum distance from your leap
>Your nanonics wouldn't have to assist with the release of adrenaline in this situation
>*Even if we wanted to, this is no fight we can win, not without a plan and preparation*
*You think?* You ask in a mix of mental sarcasm, annoyance and pure terror, making another dive to save your life
>As near indestructible as you were compared to other humans, something this size could turn you to a fine red mist were it to hit you too hard
>With such an unsettling thought in mind you try to make a beeline to the crack in the floor you'd crawled from like an ant
>Femanon wasn't far behind, her specially modified body swiftly out pacing your own, but to the absolute dismay of you both the dragon unknowingly slams a taloned fist over the one escape, sending yet another explosive spray of coins into the air
>"If we die here you better hope you don't meet me in hell!" Screams Femanon over the cacophony of tinkling coins and thrashing dragon limbs
"Meeting you anywhere is my hell!" You quip back, scuttling across the uneven floor as a tail whips from behind all too quickly
>The thick appendage makes a solid connection and you go flying like a rag-doll
>Had both your bones and muscle fibres not been supported by a complex of Carbo-metallic nano structures you would have split in two
>As it was, you were. So you stay a single piece and slam into a treasure mountain
>Your true saving grace had been hitting the pile on a downward slope, letting you slip and careen your way down like a slide, dissipating the collisional impulse and rendering the blow ineffectual
>The very fact your limp body had stood back up was enough to give the dragon pause
"Takes more than that to bring me down you galumph!" You shout emphatically at a cluster of rocks, not quite understanding how very disoriented you were
>The rocks refuse to reply so you curse at them angrily
>The head of the monster swoops down to you, either in curiosity, or with the plan of having a tasty human snack, either option you didn't particularly like having a set of jaws larger than yourself come anywhere near you
>Or maybe it was just more rocks?
>Femanon, far less out of it, comes sailing from the side and throws something small and metallic which lodges itself into the dragon’s eye
>The beast launches back and roars, claw trying to rub the object free
>"Lets get out!" She yells, grabbing you by the arm and sprinting for the tiny crack in the floor
"What did you throw?" You ask, trying to look back at the dragon
>The cave is rapidly illuminated by a massive flash of blinding white, followed by a burst that left ears ringing, all originating from the dragon’s eye
>As if you weren't disoriented enough! Now you were temporarily blind
"A flash bang? You could have said not to look!"
>"And you could have not been spending precious escape time yelling at rocks." Comes the expected reply
>"Now get in the hole!" She commands, diving through head first without waiting for a response
>You can barely make out the sound of a splash down below as Femanon lands back in the sewer
>You were questioning the efficacy of diving down a shoulder width pitch black hole head first, but the wild and panicked dragon lets loose a torrent of flames to claim victory and you find yourself plummeting head first into the murky depths of pony sewage
>You emerge gasping for air beside a similarly distressed Femanon
>"Why and HOW Is there a dragon!? What world evolves dragons?!"
"This one. Now can we leave?"
>To emphasise the point a blade like claw ruptures through the crack in the ceiling, coming down with enough force to shake the entire sewer
>The claw wriggles desperately to hook onto anything it could
"Jesus Christ!" You shout, already sprinting off with Dame034, morose roars following you down the tunnel
>That was one persistent bastard and even you couldn’t out muscle everything the universe had to offer
>Only after the air begins cooling do you slow down
>The lone audible sounds were your own footsteps and the trickle of water over stone, no dragon
>"I don't think we're going to be leaving the best of impressions on these princesses. You heard the dragon call out to one of them. Weren’t the sewers meant to be the stealth option? We shouldn’t have let our curiosity get the better of us. We’re the Royal Knights and Dames of humanity damn it."
"I'm sure if we just explain what happened they'll understand."
>Femanon goes quiet and starts fidgeting her hands
>A tell-tale sign she was feeling apprehensive
>"I'm sure you're right... For once."
>Eventually you encounter another manhole and make for a rapid exit
>Sky and Ratchet would be getting worried waiting for you
>You emerge somewhere within the castle grounds
>It was a small private garden surrounded by a tall hedge, the sloshes of the sewers working to accentuate the trickles of the many fountains about the place
>You scramble out and onto the perfectly smoothed cobble paths, then directly into the fountains, washing away the foul sewage covering your body
>Femanon wasn't far behind, joining you in the crystal-clear water before bursting into laughter
>”Hahah, sometimes you get so caught up fleeing creatures of human mythology you forget you’ve been trekking through miles of literal watery horseshit.” She says
“I think we can omit that part in our report to the UTSC once this is all over.”
>She smirks and nods
>The official mission reports of Dames and Knights held by the UTSC were always a bit more… ‘toned down’ and concise than they perhaps should be
>You could recall many a night of storytelling with your fellow genetic freaks, delving into the true disgusting details of your jobs, the parts ‘voluntarily’ left out during debrief
>Needless to say horseshit wasn’t the worse thing anyone had come into contact with, but it was something your handler wouldn’t have to hear
>You look around and find the area to be well lit despite the time, with small floating globs of light drifting around the castle grounds
>"This place is amazing. It's like one of the ancient keeps on Terra." Femanon utters breathlessly
"It is magnificent, but don't let that distract you, we need to get our friends. Hopefully they had better luck getting here than we did."
>"Then I hope you know where the castle gates are. You said we’d meet them there.”
"No idea, which means let’s get walking.”
>"Hah, I'd like to see these friends of theirs, probably the damned thieves we’re after. But I don't think I've ever had a crazy come here with even a shred of evidence supporting their claims."
>On cue Femanon and yourself step not just into the light but the very centre of the armoured group
"They’re telling the truth, so can you let our friends through the gate?" You say, trying your mouth at Equestrian again
>Without their own neural nanonics it was all you could do to convey the message, even if per Ratchet you sounded stupid
>Silence, only silence. Not one of the guards even made a move, huge eyes locked on the two never before seen creatures to randomly appear
>The fact you dwarfed them so severely only added to their stunned shock
>Ratchet and Sky trot up to the group and reunite with you, no one moving to stop them when they pass into castle grounds
>"We told you!" Teases Sky, sticking her tongue out
"Don't rub it in, they weren't to know."
>You wave your hand in front of a guard but get very little response
"We need to meet with your princesses to discuss some important matters."
>"We already told them that."
>The dumbfounded group still doesn't move
>...
"Also we’re the thieves who broke in."
>Still no response. Those damned bandits had held it together better than these guards
>Femanon034 bends over and flicks one of the stallions on his muzzle
>"Oi! Snap out of it."
>He shakes himself aware after the painful hit and looks up with a furrowed brow
>"I’ll be damned they were telling the truth. Now what the heck are you?"
>"Their friends, like they said, also aliens and your supposed thieves." Femanon answers
>One of the other guards nudges the speaker with an elbow
>”You know those things are a perfect match for the description of our burglars.”
>Before you know it his small sword had been drawn and was brandished toward Femanon
>The weapon seems to bring everyone else back to life
>Suddenly you’re surrounded by sharpened metal and anxious looking guards, it wasn't the best situation
>"You may be beautiful but you aren’t smart if you think we'd believe something like that mare’am. Pfft, aliens? More like Badlands creatures out to cause havoc!”
>You feel a slight pang of jealousy. Why was Femanon considered beautiful and you were cute? Not handsome or rugged, not even a sour faced man or gross alien thing, you were just cute
>It was really getting to your perceived masculinity
*How many other sentient species are on this planet that they don’t think we’re aliens?* You ask Ratchet, happy to have someone other than Femanon to mentally communicate with
>*Do your planets not have lots of other races?*
*They do now, what with xenoculturalism, but that doesn’t answer my question*
>*Well, aside from us ponies you have minotaur, griffons, diamond dogs, bovine, buffalo, dragons, changelings, and the occasional mix race demi-god or two*
*......... You catch all that Femanon?* You ask, switching mental channels, knowing she’d been listening in
*So many mythical creatures! Here I thought the dragon was something special*
>*I’m less hung up on the many races thing, and more focused on the demi-god part. We’re asking about that later*
>You had a suspicion the only explanation you’d get would be ‘magic’
>The guards stalk forwards, swords swaying threateningly
>Femanon's once calm, almost happy demeanour vanishes and suddenly you were standing next to a creature as unyielding as time
>"STAND DOWN SOLDIERS!" She barks authoritatively, somehow having seamlessly adopted the role of their commanding officer
>They all cringe back, one even dropping his sword
>To be fair they were holding them with their mouths and if Femanon034 was yelling at you like that you’d be needing a clean change of clothes
>That’s why you never try to threaten her
>"Secure your arms and start thinking clearly soldiers!" Femanon continues shouting
>The well-trained guards instinctively lower their weapons from the sheer power behind the command
>"Now Listen up! Because I have neither the time nor inclination to deal with underling half-wits like yourselves. We, in fact, are aliens, we also find ourselves in quite the dire situation, one we would very much enjoy discussing with these princesses of yours, less this entire world descends to chaos, and yes, we may have accidentally broken in and half-blinded a dragon, sorry about that."
>Sky dares interrupt
>"Actually the world’s descended to chaos like half a dozen times already."
>*ALSO YOU BLINDED A DRAGON!?* she mentally shouts *No wonder every guard in the city is out*
*Half-blinded* You correct
>Femanon looks disbelievingly at Sky
>"Half a dozen times? Is it the same kind of chaos where your planets annihilated just to hide any traces of a certain object ever being here?"
>"... A few less of that kind. Except for Nightmare Moon, for some reason she didn’t understand permanent night would kill everything, including herself."
>Good god what!? This planet took everything to the ludicrous extreme and you loved it!
>Nightmare moon? Permanent night!? Deadly dragons and constant worldly disasters? All combined with the adorableness of the natives and their idyllic lifestyles? What the hell was going on with anything on this planet?
>You were so use to being in constant control, the epitome of humanity, yet here you were being thrown curveball after curveball
>It was a mystery wrapped in an enigma, it felt more a child’s SNI cartoon than true reality [spoiler] sensory neural input if you’d forgotten which you would have [/spoiler]
>It was getting exhausting and you’d been here less than a day, but damn it was fun
>Sky abruptly becomes worried, leaking her misgivings into the network
>”We’re going to be annihilated?” She says very quietly, so quietly in fact you wouldn’t have heard her without your body’s geneering
>You crouch down and put a comforting hand on her shoulder
*It's not like that Sky. Femanon is just being a bit... hyperbolic you know? To try and scare these guys so we can see the princesses* You send
>Plus fear always downplayed aggression, something their previously brandished swords revealed they had in spades
>*Promise?*
*Promise*
>...Maybe
>”Well then. Now that everyone is nice and calm with our wits about us, may we please have an audience with this, Princess Celestia? It’s not like you won’t be there to guard her, or are you guys that insecure in your abilities?”
>The piercing jab certainly did the trick as they all bristle indignantly
>”We could take you down with one move don’t you doubt it. But Princess Celestia requested that if found, the thieves who broke in were to be taken directly to her.”
>”We’ll come quiet happily then, it’s what we’ve been asking for.” Femanon says, making a move towards the castle
>The guard’s hoof stops her
>”I said the Princess requested the thieves be brought before her, not their… country town friends.” He says, looking over Ratch and Sky with mild disgust
>You take a single intimidating step to the guard
“Actually I think you’ll find they’re coming with us.” You say, tone perhaps a little too threatening
>You didn’t like how he treated your friends
>”I, uh.. um, Sorry, yes of course I must have misheard.”
>Damn right he misheard
>The pack of guards trot you from the gates and to the main entrance hall of the keep
>It was a splendorous room of white marble with a great sprawling staircase in the centre. Intricate carvings and sculptures lines the walls and large tapestries hung beside regal pane glass windows
>”So do you think we’re aliens?” Asks Femanon
>”Not at all mare’am, but if that’s what you believe then so be it.”
>He must think the four of you were completely insane
>A very reasonable thought to be honest
>You stormed in, claimed you were aliens, then threatened them repeatedly
>”Please wait here while I alert the princess of your capture.”
>The gold armoured stallion trots up the stairs and away from view
>The remaining ponies slowly break the tight ranks they’d made around you and spread over the room, eyeing the lot of you warily
>In what seems like no time at all the guard returns
>”Princess Celestia is eager to meet you. I’m not sure why she has such an interest in thieves, but be glad she does, normally you’d be spending a fair chunk of your remaining life in prison and it’s not exactly a five-star resort.”
>The guard leads you from the entry hall, up the stairs, through several corridors until finally reaching the most opulent carved wooden door you'd ever seen
>The thing was themed for day and night, one half of the door brandishing an odd symbol of the sun and all kinds of red, pink, and white hues, while the other sported the moon, dark blues and black shadows, the whole thing gave off quite the enigmatic air
>"The royal conference chambers. The princess awaits."
"Princess? I was told there were two."
>"While Princess Luna has been informed of your arrival she is currently preoccupied tending to the night’s dawn. Now please keep quiet and show your respects."
>He pushes the large doors open with no effort as they swivel silently on their hinges
>Inside, waiting for you on a white and gold throne, was the regalest looking Unicorn-horse-pegasus thing you'd ever seen
>Figures they’d have pegasi here too
>Her coat was pure white while her mane sported an ethereal pastel rainbow that rippled as if it were caught in its own gentle breeze
>She simply radiated majesty and tranquillity
>Ratchet and Sky were probably telling the truth about her benevolence, something you were going to attribute to her extreme intelligence, and while that may have been an assumption on your part you could almost /see/ the wisdom behind her eyes
>The guard takes a knee and bows
>"Princess, I present the two anomalous and self-confessed thieves … And their country friends."
>The godly horse looks down upon her underling and smiles
>"Thank you for your services, you may take your leave and recall the others still searching. Oh, and please have the cooking staff bring up some food for our guests. I believe we’ll be needing something from the griffon’s pantry." She says, sounding more like a compassionate mother than the ruler of a nation
>He nods graciously and backs out the door, leaving your small group alone with the Princess
>From that you could already tell this culture was too trusting
>No human official would ever be left alone during delegations with any other living being
>It did make things a little easier to deal with when you only had to address one mind and it’s one set of principles and opinions, as opposed to a room full of conflicting ones
>You were about to provide a formal introduction, but Sky excitedly jumps in before you have the chance
>"Oh my gosh! I knew we'd get dinner with the Princess! Best day ever! And I'm sooo hungry. We didn’t have time to stop on the way over."
>Well formality just got thrown out the window
>Celestia smiles endearingly at her
>"It certainly is a monumental occasion my little pony, but not just because of dinner. You two ponies have brought some very special guests."
>You go to speak again; this time being cut off by Ratchet
>"Actually they brought us."
>"Truthfully it matters not young one. Now I believe introductions are in order. I, am princess Celestia, one of Equestria’s rulers."
>You attempt a semi-gracious bow
“We are Royal Dame Femanon034 and Royal Knight Anonymous096. Our two native friends are Ratchet and Horizon Sky. It is an honour for all of us to meet with you princess.” You answer for everyone