I realise you are happily in slumber right now, and I applaud that. I feel like we have kept each other awake to our detriment this week, and though I appreciate that—and have absolutely enjoyed every second of it—I think it’s about time you got a good sleep in. I sincerely hope I haven’t been a disruptive force in that measure more so than I realise.

I thought you may find this thought interesting—although it’s not so much a thought as it is something that ignited earlier in me.

You were discoursing with me of ancient Rome. In the context, I could see you were trying to keep things light, as you needed sleep for your final work shift; however, it made me ruminate further.

It also made me think of a perhaps curious facet of my personality—or even my chronicle, depending which way you wish to look upon it—and that is: religion.

I am, by all definition, not a religious man. By the utmost extension on the topic, I am “a man without faith.” However, I thought since this topic might arise at some point, I should elaborate.

I am a faithless man, yes. But I am also the man that invited damn near every “wandering servant of gods” into his home for many colloquies. Although that may seem strange, let me elucidate the logic.

As you know, I seem to process information slightly differently. So I would like to offer you what I deem to be a “logic chain,” which could also be called “an internal contemplation lattice,” in simple text form. I hope, to some extent, it makes sense, and I shall write it as follows:

Does a god exist?
→ Possible, but impossible to prove Yes/No
→ Would such a being be beneficent?
[~ YES ~ Why would a god be good? ~ Because a god would mean entropy has a telos. All actions and reactions exist for a reason. All choices, thoughts, motives, actions, consequences, learnings would then have a grand purpose—fitting into a “jigsaw of ordained entropy.” Simply put: chaos wouldn’t, in fact, be chaos, but rather ultra-complex order unfurling slowly.]

→ Do we see evidence of a god?
→ “Let us enquire.”
[Speaks to Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Lutherans, Buddhists, Hindu practitioners, Balinese hierophants, Muslim imams, Catholic Fathers, Christian (English) priests.]

→ Evidence is flawed and erroneous, often depicting logical and self-reflective dichotomy—both metaphysical, rule-architecture, and mythopoeic story-based errors.
→ Seemingly, these are parables—erroneous and utmost fabrication at worst, and moral high-ground / advantageous moral-standing lessons for the feeble or non-free-thinking at best.
→ Result: No clear “victor” or “evidence-based” religious outcome.
→ Proposed outcome from evidence thus far:
Religion serves, in its best moral light, as a way to shepherd a lawless, near-horrid group of mammals into a sustained system of not annihilating themselves—at least, this appears the case until governments, laws, and other infrastructures of dominion like police, army, lawyers, courts, judicial systems.

→ Further inquisition required on all religions.

This, however, doesn’t detract from the fact that I think if there were a god—being that would mean entropy as a whole has a purpose—it would be a good thing. It would give meaning to all suffering, to every failure, to every life, and would bring with it a tremendous solace to my existence, as well as an understanding of why all people, in all their various dispositions and choices, do what they do.

However, thus far, the evidence is lacking. But this has not changed my philosophical context, to which I believe: if you are fervent and hold a version of this truth you think I may believe, I shall entertain it. I shall read all you hand me. I shall ask the questions. And should the answers yield a worthy result, I shall become an advocate to your message and revise my cosmological axiom.

This, hopefully, should serve as my explanation as to why I remain a scientific observer of the universe and all peoples and creatures and natural phenomena living therein. Yet although I remain open-minded to the many millions of truths unknown, I also remain the peculiar soul who will invite the devout through the door—yet still ponder whether we are but an atomic speck in a cosmos far grander. Ever inquisitive, yet still tethered—knowing that, with all evidence given, I could never truly answer that question. For millennia, we have tried, and the greatest, most banal, most luminous and dim-witted minds alike have clawed at the firmament—and found no conclusive shape beyond the veil.