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- 1
- 00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:49,882
- You've reached
- Doug. Sorry I missed your call.
- 2
- 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,217
- Please leave a name and number
- and I'll get back to you.
- 3
- 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:02,644
- Hi, you've reached
- Dr. Stuart Price with Divine Dentistry.
- 4
- 00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:05,147
- Please leave a message after...
- 5
- 00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:13,113
- Hey, this is Phil.
- 6
- 00:01:13,281 --> 00:01:16,325
- Leave me a message or don't.
- Do me a favor, don't text me. It's gay.
- 7
- 00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:19,328
- - Anything?
- - I tried them all.
- 8
- 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,580
- It keeps going straight to voicemail.
- 9
- 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,499
- Well, there has to be an explanation.
- 10
- 00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:26,460
- Sweetie, it's Vegas.
- You lose track of time in casinos.
- 11
- 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:30,005
- There's no windows, there's no clocks.
- He's probably on a heater.
- 12
- 00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:34,343
- And you never walk away from the table
- when you're on a heater.
- 13
- 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,345
- You do if you're getting married.
- 14
- 00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:40,808
- - Hello?
- - Ahem, Tracy, it's Phil.
- 15
- 00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:43,018
- Phil, where the hell are you guys?
- 16
- 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,437
- I'm freaking out.
- 17
- 00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:47,022
- Yeah, listen.
- 18
- 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,649
- Uh...
- 19
- 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,194
- We fucked up.
- 20
- 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:57,282
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- What are you talking about?
- - The bachelor party, the whole night. It...</font>
- 21
- 00:01:57,534 --> 00:02:00,452
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Things got out of control, uh...</font>
- 22
- 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,872
- <font color="#FFFFFF">...and we lost Doug.</font>
- 23
- 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,792
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- What?
- - We can't find Doug.</font>
- 24
- 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,379
- <font color="#FFFFFF">What are you saying, Phil?
- We're getting married in five hours.</font>
- 25
- 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,673
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Yeah.</font>
- 26
- 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:15,968
- <font color="#FFFFFF">That's not gonna happen.</font>
- 27
- 00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,017
- <font color="#FFFFFF">To my left a little.</font>
- 28
- 00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,810
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Thank you.</font>
- 29
- 00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:50,437
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Okey-dokey.</font>
- 30
- 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:57,402
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- Whoa, watch it, pervert!
- - Alan, he's just doing your inseam.</font>
- 31
- 00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:03,200
- - He's getting very close to my shaft.
- - All done. You can change now.
- 32
- 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:06,745
- Right. Thanks, Floyd.
- Thank you very much.
- 33
- 00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,873
- All right, buddy,
- we should get a move on.
- 34
- 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:14,127
- You know, Doug, I was thinking...
- 35
- 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:17,422
- If you wanna go to Vegas without me,
- that is totally cool, you know?
- 36
- 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,341
- What are you talking about?
- 37
- 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:23,011
- You know, Phil and Stu, they're
- your buddies, and it's your bachelor party.
- 38
- 00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:25,264
- Come on, Alan. Those two love you.
- 39
- 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:28,350
- And also, I don't want you to feel
- like you have to hold back...
- 40
- 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,936
- ...because your wife's brother's there.
- I just...
- 41
- 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,021
- It's not like that.
- 42
- 00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:38,277
- It's not like that. I already told you, Alan.
- 43
- 00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:42,531
- Okay? We're just spending the night
- in Vegas. It's no big deal.
- 44
- 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:46,868
- Besides, you're not just my wife's brother,
- you're my brother now.
- 45
- 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:53,083
- I want you to know, Doug,
- I'm a steel trap.
- 46
- 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:57,546
- Whatever happens tonight,
- I will never, ever, ever, speak a word of it.
- 47
- 00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,382
- Okay. Yeah, I got it. Thank you.
- I don't think that...
- 48
- 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,510
- Seriously. I don't care what happens.
- 49
- 00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:06,388
- - I don't care if we kill someone.
- - What?
- 50
- 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,057
- You heard me. It's Sin City.
- 51
- 00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:12,477
- I won't tell a soul.
- 52
- 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,355
- Okay. I got it.
- 53
- 00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,527
- - Thank you.
- - No, thank you.
- 54
- 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,906
- I love you so much.
- 55
- 00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:27,659
- - Ha. I knew it.
- - Dad.
- 56
- 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,369
- Oh, stop it, I'm just jerking around.
- 57
- 00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:32,205
- Alan, put some pants on.
- You have weird legs.
- 58
- 00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:33,415
- Yes, Daddy.
- 59
- 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,459
- - His legs look fine, Dad.
- - Oh, please.
- 60
- 00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:39,463
- He has his mother's legs. It's just freaky.
- 61
- 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:47,012
- Alan, I'm just teasing.
- You have wonderful legs.
- 62
- 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:50,307
- They're better than your mother's.
- They're beautiful.
- 63
- 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,769
- Can you believe this?
- Just two more days.
- 64
- 00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:57,064
- I know. You getting nervous?
- 65
- 00:05:57,231 --> 00:05:59,566
- - You wanna back out?
- - Shut up.
- 66
- 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,985
- Just tell me. Oh. Mm.
- 67
- 00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:05,781
- You know, I don't need to go to Vegas.
- It's dumb.
- 68
- 00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:09,451
- It's not dumb. It's one night.
- Have fun, you deserve it.
- 69
- 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,703
- I know, but we should have
- gone last weekend.
- 70
- 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,706
- We have so much to do.
- L... I'm gonna cancel.
- 71
- 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,751
- My brother packed his bag two weeks ago.
- You're not canceling.
- 72
- 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,169
- - Really?
- - Yeah.
- 73
- 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,380
- - Two weeks?
- - Yeah, he's excited.
- 74
- 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,466
- Thanks again for bringing him,
- by the way.
- 75
- 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:27,302
- You don't need to thank me,
- it's nothing. He's a cool guy.
- 76
- 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,638
- It's not nothing
- and he's not a cool guy...
- 77
- 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,973
- ...so thank you.
- 78
- 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,476
- Thank you.
- 79
- 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,270
- Thank you.
- 80
- 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,693
- Hey, Sid.
- 81
- 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:48,156
- I just wanted to thank you guys again
- for everything you're doing this weekend.
- 82
- 00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:50,575
- - We couldn't be more excited.
- - Ah, that's great.
- 83
- 00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:54,496
- Yeah, okay. You love us
- and we love you. Terrific.
- 84
- 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,540
- So talk to me about Vegas.
- 85
- 00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:58,834
- - Uh... It should be pretty mellow.
- - Mm-hm.
- 86
- 00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:02,337
- Do some gambling, maybe catch some rays,
- have a few laughs.
- 87
- 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,674
- Yeah, some laughs. I got you.
- 88
- 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,300
- How you getting out there?
- 89
- 00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:10,262
- Uh, we're gonna take my car.
- Gonna pick up my friends after this.
- 90
- 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,849
- - Prius? You're taking a Prius to Vegas?
- - Yeah.
- 91
- 00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:16,685
- You know, when you go to Vegas...
- 92
- 00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:18,186
- ...you gotta go to Vegas.
- 93
- 00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:20,439
- No. Sid.
- 94
- 00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:27,487
- - Really?
- - Come on, we're family now.
- 95
- 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:31,783
- - You sure? I mean, you love this car.
- - Doug, it's just a car.
- 96
- 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:36,329
- Just make sure to put some Armor All
- on the tires so the sand doesn't seep in.
- 97
- 00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,707
- Absolutely. That's easy.
- 98
- 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:43,462
- Oh, and, uh, don't let Alan drive,
- because there's something wrong with him.
- 99
- 00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:44,671
- Understood.
- 100
- 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:47,340
- Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him.
- 101
- 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:51,970
- I will be the only one driving this car.
- I promise.
- 102
- 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,180
- Good.
- 103
- 00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:56,391
- Remember, what happens in Vegas
- stays in Vegas.
- 104
- 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,059
- Ah!
- 105
- 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:02,772
- Except for herpes.
- That shit'll come back with you.
- 106
- 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,693
- All right. Hold on. I still need
- some of your permission slips...
- 107
- 00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:10,322
- ...and $90 for the field trip
- to the Griffith Observatory next weekend.
- 108
- 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:14,493
- Pay now, or forever regret missing out
- on the experience of a lifetime, guys.
- 109
- 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:15,869
- You're good, you got it.
- 110
- 00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,829
- - Thanks, Mr. Wenneck.
- - Thank you. Hey.
- 111
- 00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,706
- You really came through,
- thank you.
- 112
- 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:23,001
- Whoa, Max. What gives?
- What, no planetarium?
- 113
- 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,420
- My mom won't give me the money.
- I'm grounded.
- 114
- 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,714
- - Well, how much you got on you?
- - I don't know.
- 115
- 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:30,217
- Like, 20 bucks.
- 116
- 00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:32,761
- Well, give me the 20
- and I'll cover the rest.
- 117
- 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:36,515
- - Really?
- - Yeah. Well, we'll talk about it.
- 118
- 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,683
- But give me the 20
- so I know you're serious.
- 119
- 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:41,603
- - Cool. Thanks, Mr. Wenneck.
- - Yeah.
- 120
- 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,291
- Hold on, I got it.
- 121
- 00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:06,127
- Ahem, do you have to park so close?
- 122
- 00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:09,130
- - Yeah. What's wrong?
- - I shouldn't be here.
- 123
- 00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:10,382
- Why is that, Alan?
- 124
- 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,969
- I'm not supposed to be within 200 feet
- of a school.
- 125
- 00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:17,514
- - What?
- - Or a Chuck E. Cheese.
- 126
- 00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:23,061
- - Mr. Wenneck, I was...
- - It's the weekend.
- 127
- 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,146
- I don't know you. You do not exist.
- 128
- 00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:28,149
- - Shit.
- - Heh, heh, heh.
- 129
- 00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:29,985
- - Nice car.
- - Yeah.
- 130
- 00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,820
- - I'm driving.
- - Whoa, no chance, buddy...
- 131
- 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,072
- Don't step... God. Watch the leath...
- 132
- 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,033
- Shut up and drive before these nerds
- ask me another question.
- 133
- 00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:38,827
- - Animal.
- - Who's this?
- 134
- 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:42,163
- - It's Alan. Tracy's brother.
- - I met you, like, four times.
- 135
- 00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:44,624
- Oh, yeah. How you doing, man?
- 136
- 00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,168
- Don't forget your Rogaine.
- 137
- 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,672
- Rogaine, check.
- 138
- 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,049
- And don't forget to use it.
- 139
- 00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:56,511
- I can totally tell when you forget,
- your hair just looks thinner.
- 140
- 00:09:57,305 --> 00:10:00,223
- Using of the Rogaine, check.
- 141
- 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,934
- Make sure to call me
- right when you get to the hotel...
- 142
- 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,645
- ...not like that conference in Phoenix.
- 143
- 00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:08,315
- I had to wait two hours
- for you to call me.
- 144
- 00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:11,151
- Yeah, I was the keynote speaker.
- I was late to the podium.
- 145
- 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:14,529
- - Still?
- - Yeah, you're totally right. I'm sorry.
- 146
- 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,533
- - What is the matter?
- - I don't know.
- 147
- 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:21,453
- I hope you're not gonna go to
- some strip club when you're up there.
- 148
- 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,289
- Melissa, we're going to Napa Valley.
- 149
- 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,083
- I don't even think they have strip clubs
- in wine country.
- 150
- 00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:31,212
- Well, I'm sure if there is one,
- Phil will sniff it out.
- 151
- 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,674
- It's not gonna be like that.
- 152
- 00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:36,718
- Besides, you know how I feel about that.
- 153
- 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:40,805
- I know, I know. It's just boys
- and their bachelor parties, it's gross.
- 154
- 00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:45,226
- You're right, it is gross. Mm-mm.
- 155
- 00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:48,521
- And you know what else, honestly?
- 156
- 00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:53,401
- Why would I risk this for,
- you know, a couple of minutes...
- 157
- 00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:58,657
- ...of some 19-year-old hard body
- in a schoolgirl outfit?
- 158
- 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,992
- - Yeah.
- - Why would I ever need, like...
- 159
- 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,079
- - You're right. And if you ever do...
- - What?
- 160
- 00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:06,373
- ...I will fucking kick your ass.
- 161
- 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,877
- Thank you. Thank you for that.
- 162
- 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:14,422
- That is exactly what I needed to hear.
- 163
- 00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,132
- Not to mention it's pathetic.
- 164
- 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:19,761
- Those places are filthy.
- And the worst part is...
- 165
- 00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,138
- ...that little girl...
- 166
- 00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:26,017
- ...grinding and dry humping
- the fucking stage up there...
- 167
- 00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:29,938
- ...that's somebody's daughter up there.
- - I was just gonna say that.
- 168
- 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:33,108
- See? I just wish your friends
- were as mature as you.
- 169
- 00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:36,486
- They are mature, actually.
- You just have to get to know them better.
- 170
- 00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:39,489
- Paging Dr. Faggot.
- 171
- 00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:44,119
- Dr. Faggot!
- 172
- 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:49,916
- - I should go.
- - That's a good idea, Dr. Faggot.
- 173
- 00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:54,629
- Have a good weekend.
- I'm gonna miss you.
- 174
- 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,642
- Whoo!
- 175
- 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,186
- Road trip!
- 176
- 00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:15,608
- Vegas! Vegas, baby!
- 177
- 00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:16,860
- Vegas!
- 178
- 00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:20,238
- You're nuts!
- 179
- 00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:27,245
- Come on, just till Barstow.
- Everybody's passing us.
- 180
- 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:32,333
- Absolutely not. I promised Sid.
- I will be the only one driving this car.
- 181
- 00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:33,668
- Besides, you're drinking.
- 182
- 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:37,005
- Oh, what are you, a cop now?
- You know I drive great when I'm drunk.
- 183
- 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:40,216
- True. Don't forget,
- Phil was always our designated drunk driver.
- 184
- 00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:42,761
- Yeah. You wanna explain it
- to them, Alan?
- 185
- 00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:46,055
- Guys, my dad loves this car
- more than he loves me, so, yeah.
- 186
- 00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:49,476
- Aw, whatever. I left my wife and kid
- at home so I could go with you guys.
- 187
- 00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:52,187
- - You know how difficult that was?
- - That's really sweet.
- 188
- 00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:54,314
- - Yeah.
- - Dude, I was being sarcastic.
- 189
- 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:55,565
- I fucking hate my life.
- 190
- 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:59,068
- - I may never go back. I might stay in Vegas.
- - Here we go.
- 191
- 00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:01,237
- Doug, enjoy yourself,
- because come Sunday...
- 192
- 00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:04,783
- ...you're gonna start dying
- just a little bit every day.
- 193
- 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:08,870
- Yeah. That's why I've managed
- to stay single this whole time, you know?
- 194
- 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,831
- - Oh, really? That's why you're single?
- - Yeah.
- 195
- 00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:13,958
- Cool. Good to know.
- 196
- 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:17,545
- - Am I all right over there, Alan?
- - Yeah, you're good.
- 197
- 00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:22,801
- Aw, Jesus Christ!
- 198
- 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:25,804
- - Oh, my God!
- - That was awesome!
- 199
- 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:28,264
- That was not awesome.
- What's wrong with you?
- 200
- 00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:34,229
- - That was insane. We almost just died.
- - You should have seen your face.
- 201
- 00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:36,773
- - Classic.
- - That's funny. Ha-ha.
- 202
- 00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,691
- It's not funny.
- 203
- 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:59,254
- - Boy, you've got a sweet ride there.
- - Don't touch it.
- 204
- 00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:04,008
- Don't even look at it. Go on, get out.
- 205
- 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:07,220
- You heard me.
- Don't look at me, either.
- 206
- 00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:12,433
- Yeah, you better walk on.
- 207
- 00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:15,770
- - He's actually kind of funny.
- - Yeah, he means well.
- 208
- 00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,314
- I'll hit an old man in public.
- 209
- 00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:21,484
- Is he all there? Like, mentally?
- 210
- 00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:24,779
- I think so. He's just an odd guy.
- You know, he's kind of weird.
- 211
- 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,531
- - I mean, should we be worried?
- - No.
- 212
- 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,157
- - All right.
- - No.
- 213
- 00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:31,160
- Tracy did mention
- that we shouldn't let him gamble.
- 214
- 00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:32,954
- Or drink too much.
- 215
- 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:36,958
- Jesus, he's like a gremlin.
- Comes with instructions and shit.
- 216
- 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:39,294
- And one water.
- 217
- 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,629
- - All good with Melissa?
- - Oh, yeah.
- 218
- 00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:47,093
- Told her we're two hours
- outside of wine country, and she bought it.
- 219
- 00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:50,305
- You think it's strange you've been
- in a relationship for years...
- 220
- 00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:52,098
- ...and you have to lie about Vegas?
- 221
- 00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,976
- Yeah, I do.
- But trust me, it's not worth the fight.
- 222
- 00:14:55,144 --> 00:15:00,356
- Oh, so you can't go to Vegas but she can
- fuck a bellhop on a Carnival Cruise Line?
- 223
- 00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:01,566
- Hey.
- 224
- 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:05,236
- Okay, first of all, he was a bartender.
- 225
- 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:06,654
- And she was wasted.
- 226
- 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:11,284
- And, if you must know,
- he didn't even come inside her.
- 227
- 00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:12,994
- And you believe that?
- 228
- 00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:17,749
- Uh, yeah, I do believe that,
- because she's grossed out by semen.
- 229
- 00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:19,500
- That'll be 32.50.
- 230
- 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,837
- It's 32.50, you gonna pay for it?
- 231
- 00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:30,136
- It says here we should work in teams.
- Who wants to be my spotter?
- 232
- 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:33,973
- I don't think you should be doing
- too much gambling tonight, Alan.
- 233
- 00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:36,100
- Gambling?
- Who said anything about gambling?
- 234
- 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:38,519
- It's not gambling
- when you know you're gonna win.
- 235
- 00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:40,563
- Counting cards is a foolproof system.
- 236
- 00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,273
- It's also illegal.
- 237
- 00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:47,070
- It's not illegal, it's frowned upon,
- like masturbating on an airplane.
- 238
- 00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:50,657
- I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.
- 239
- 00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:54,077
- Yeah, maybe after 9/11,
- where everybody got so sensitive.
- 240
- 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,705
- Thanks a lot, Bin Laden.
- 241
- 00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:02,961
- Either way, you gotta be super smart
- to count cards, buddy, okay?
- 242
- 00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,379
- - Oh, really?
- - It's not easy.
- 243
- 00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:06,631
- Well maybe we should tell that
- to Rain Man...
- 244
- 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,884
- ...because he practically bankrupted
- a casino, and he was a retard.
- 245
- 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,219
- What?
- 246
- 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,054
- He was a retard.
- 247
- 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,139
- Retard.
- 248
- 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:57,765
- Here we go.
- 249
- 00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:00,977
- Hi, welcome to Caesars.
- 250
- 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,353
- - Hello.
- - Checking in?
- 251
- 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,897
- Yeah. We have a reservation
- under Dr. Price.
- 252
- 00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:07,275
- Okay, let me look that up for you.
- 253
- 00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:08,568
- Dr. Price?
- 254
- 00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:12,697
- Stu, you're a dentist, okay?
- Don't try and get fancy.
- 255
- 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:17,285
- - It's not fancy if it's true.
- - He's a dentist. Don't get too excited.
- 256
- 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:20,371
- And if, uh, someone has a heart attack,
- you should still call 911.
- 257
- 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,248
- We'll be sure to do that.
- 258
- 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:25,793
- Can I ask you a question?
- Do you know if the hotel's pager-friendly?
- 259
- 00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,838
- - What do you mean?
- - I'm not getting a sig on my beeper.
- 260
- 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:32,300
- - I'm not sure.
- - Is there a payphone bank?
- 261
- 00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:35,470
- Bunch of payphones? Business.
- 262
- 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,181
- Um, there's a phone in your room.
- 263
- 00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:40,266
- That'll work.
- 264
- 00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:44,312
- So I have you in a two-bedroom suite
- on the 12th floor, is that okay?
- 265
- 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,772
- It sounds perfect.
- 266
- 00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:48,316
- Actually, I was wondering
- if you had any villas.
- 267
- 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:51,069
- - We're not even gonna be in the room.
- - It's unnecessary.
- 268
- 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:53,362
- No big deal. We can share beds.
- It's one night.
- 269
- 00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:55,573
- If we're share beds,
- I'm bunking with Phil.
- 270
- 00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:58,576
- - You good with that?
- - No, I'm not.
- 271
- 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:02,163
- Guys, we are not sharing beds.
- What are we, 12 years old?
- 272
- 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,332
- Lisa, I apologize.
- How much is the villa?
- 273
- 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:07,460
- Well, we have one villa available,
- and it's 4200 for the night.
- 274
- 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,754
- - Is it awesome?
- - It's pretty awesome.
- 275
- 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:14,133
- - We'll take it. Give her your credit card.
- - I can't give her my credit card.
- 276
- 00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:17,762
- - We'll split it.
- - Are you crazy? No, this is on us.
- 277
- 00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:22,100
- You don't get it.
- Melissa checks my statements.
- 278
- 00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:23,893
- We just need a credit card on file.
- 279
- 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:27,146
- We won't charge you until check out,
- so you can figure it out then.
- 280
- 00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:30,817
- That's perfect. Thank you, Lisa.
- We'll deal with it tomorrow. Come on.
- 281
- 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,444
- Fine.
- 282
- 00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:36,197
- - Can I ask you another question?
- - Sure.
- 283
- 00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,657
- You probably get this a lot.
- 284
- 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:40,034
- This isn't the real Caesars Palace,
- is it?
- 285
- 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:41,577
- What do you mean?
- 286
- 00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:44,288
- Did, uh...
- 287
- 00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:48,334
- - Did Caesar live here?
- - Um, no.
- 288
- 00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,170
- I didn't think so.
- 289
- 00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:01,848
- Holy shit.
- 290
- 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:04,851
- Now, this is Vegas.
- 291
- 00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:09,564
- Oh, my... This place is enormous.
- 292
- 00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:10,815
- Now we're talking.
- 293
- 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,860
- Is this all one suite?
- 294
- 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,195
- Thank you, guys.
- 295
- 00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:18,239
- Or should I say, "Thank you, Stu"?
- 296
- 00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:20,491
- You're welcome.
- It's only because I love you.
- 297
- 00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:25,496
- Hey, guys. Look, free almonds.
- 298
- 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:28,124
- - Oh, no, no, no. Please put those back.
- - Wait, I'm just hungry.
- 299
- 00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:31,252
- - Well, I know, but...
- - Stu, what the fuck?
- 300
- 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:35,631
- It's a pressure-sensitive plate. When you pick
- it up, you have 30 seconds to put it back...
- 301
- 00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:37,800
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- ...or they bill you.
- - That's pretty neat.</font>
- 302
- 00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,428
- <font color="#FFFFFF">It may be neat,
- but it's also very expensive, so...</font>
- 303
- 00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,889
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Those almonds are probably, like, $14.</font>
- 304
- 00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:44,932
- Stu,<font color="#FFFFFF"> relax.</font>
- 305
- 00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:48,436
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Phil, Melissa is like
- a forensic accountant, okay?</font>
- 306
- 00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:50,771
- <font color="#FFFFFF">She scours my statements.
- If you want nuts...</font>
- 307
- 00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:53,941
- <font color="#FFFFFF">...put your own credit card down.
- - Watch this.</font>
- 308
- 00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:59,405
- Problem solved.
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Alan,</font> enjoy your almonds.
- 309
- 00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,949
- <font color="#FFFFFF">I don't want them. He ruined it.</font>
- 310
- 00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:07,038
- All right, let's pick a room, let's get
- dressed.<font color="#FFFFFF"> Be ready</font> in 30 minutes.
- 311
- 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:12,460
- <font color="#FFFFFF">I just wish you could see this place,</font>
- because you, of all people, would love it.
- 312
- 00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:15,963
- Yeah. No, it's so quaint.
- 313
- 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:19,175
- Yeah, no, there's no TVs, no phones.
- 314
- 00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:23,429
- They just have these cute little antique
- radios in all the rooms.
- 315
- 00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:25,223
- Yeah.
- 316
- 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:27,808
- What else? Um...
- 317
- 00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,645
- We met the, uh, proprietor.
- 318
- 00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:33,189
- - Oh, I bet you...
- - What's his name?
- 319
- 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:34,649
- Um, Caesar. PalacƩ.
- 320
- 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,318
- Yeah, like the salad.
- 321
- 00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:41,906
- Okay. Well, listen, I gotta go,
- because we're gonna hit this wine tasting.
- 322
- 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:46,327
- Wait, wait. I love you. Okay. Bye.
- 323
- 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:49,580
- I'm not even gonna say anything,
- it's so embarrassing.
- 324
- 00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:51,999
- - Where's Alan?
- - He, uh, he went downstairs.
- 325
- 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,168
- He said he had to grab a few things.
- 326
- 00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:59,507
- Good, because I have something
- to show you.
- 327
- 00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:02,343
- Uh-Oh.
- 328
- 00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:04,512
- - What the hell is that?
- - What do you think?
- 329
- 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,890
- If it's what I think it is,
- I think it's a big fucking mistake.
- 330
- 00:21:08,475 --> 00:21:11,686
- I'm gonna propose to Melissa
- at your wedding. After the ceremony.
- 331
- 00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:15,356
- - Stuey, congratulations!
- - Thank you, Doug.
- 332
- 00:21:15,899 --> 00:21:18,526
- - That's a beautiful ring.
- - Yeah. It's my grandmother's.
- 333
- 00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:21,654
- She made it all the way through
- the Holocaust with that thing.
- 334
- 00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:24,699
- Wait, have you not listened
- to anything I have ever said?
- 335
- 00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:28,286
- Phil, we've been dating for three years.
- It's time. This is how it works.
- 336
- 00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:31,706
- A, that is bullshit.
- And B, she is a complete bitch.
- 337
- 00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:34,041
- Hey, that's his fiancƩe.
- 338
- 00:21:34,209 --> 00:21:37,670
- What? It's true. It's true.
- You know it's true. She beats him.
- 339
- 00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:40,798
- That was twice, and I was out of line.
- 340
- 00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:43,384
- She's strong-willed. And I respect that.
- 341
- 00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:45,386
- Wow. Wow.
- 342
- 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:48,431
- He's in denial.
- Not to mention, she fucked a sailor.
- 343
- 00:21:48,598 --> 00:21:49,890
- Hey, he wasn't a sailor.
- 344
- 00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:53,477
- He was a bartender on a cruise ship.
- You know that.
- 345
- 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:57,940
- Guys, I'm standing right here.
- So I can hear everything that you're saying.
- 346
- 00:21:58,108 --> 00:22:00,234
- Hey, guys. You ready to let the dogs out?
- 347
- 00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:01,902
- - What?
- - Do what?
- 348
- 00:22:02,070 --> 00:22:03,404
- Let the dogs out. You know.
- 349
- 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:07,575
- Who brought this guy?
- 350
- 00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:09,994
- Yes, Alan, we are ready
- to let the dogs out.
- 351
- 00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:13,080
- - Hey, congrats.
- - Thank you.
- 352
- 00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:26,927
- I love this fucking town.
- 353
- 00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:37,104
- - You're not really wearing that, are you?
- - Wearing what?
- 354
- 00:22:37,272 --> 00:22:39,148
- The man-purse.
- 355
- 00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:42,276
- You're actually gonna wear that
- or are you guys fucking with me?
- 356
- 00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:45,571
- It's where I keep all my things.
- I get a lot of compliments on this.
- 357
- 00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:47,990
- Plus, it's not a man-purse.
- It's called a satchel.
- 358
- 00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:49,283
- Indiana Jones wears one.
- 359
- 00:22:50,535 --> 00:22:51,786
- So does Joy Behar.
- 360
- 00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:57,708
- - We're going up, guys.
- - Yeah, that's perfect.
- 361
- 00:22:57,876 --> 00:22:59,543
- Really?
- 362
- 00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:01,337
- We're going up?
- 363
- 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:08,886
- I'm just saying,
- it's clearly marked, okay?
- 364
- 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:11,138
- We are definitely
- not supposed to be up here.
- 365
- 00:23:11,306 --> 00:23:14,558
- Come on, we're paying for a villa.
- We can do whatever the fuck we want.
- 366
- 00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:16,727
- - Yeah, but...
- - Just wedge the door open.
- 367
- 00:23:16,895 --> 00:23:19,188
- - Guys, come on up here.
- - Fine.
- 368
- 00:23:23,026 --> 00:23:25,528
- How the hell did you find this place?
- 369
- 00:23:25,695 --> 00:23:27,196
- Don't worry about it.
- 370
- 00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:28,948
- Oh!
- 371
- 00:23:29,991 --> 00:23:31,325
- - You all right?
- - Yeah.
- 372
- 00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:34,995
- - Look at the view up here.
- - You happy?
- 373
- 00:23:35,163 --> 00:23:36,414
- - This is great.
- - Whoa!
- 374
- 00:23:37,791 --> 00:23:38,833
- Are you kidding?
- 375
- 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,377
- - Alan, how we doing, buddy?
- - Good.
- 376
- 00:23:41,545 --> 00:23:44,338
- - What do you got over there, Alan?
- - That's the Eiffel Tower.
- 377
- 00:23:45,507 --> 00:23:46,549
- Uh-oh.
- 378
- 00:23:46,716 --> 00:23:48,426
- - Right?
- - A little JƤgermeister.
- 379
- 00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:50,219
- - Good idea.
- - There it is. Good call.
- 380
- 00:23:50,387 --> 00:23:51,470
- On the roof.
- 381
- 00:23:51,638 --> 00:23:55,558
- Um, no, this is good.
- I'd like to make a toast.
- 382
- 00:23:55,725 --> 00:23:57,685
- To Doug and Tracy.
- 383
- 00:23:57,853 --> 00:24:00,646
- May tonight be...
- 384
- 00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:03,107
- ...but a minor speed bump...
- 385
- 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,943
- ...in an otherwise very long
- and healthy marriage.
- 386
- 00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:07,528
- - Cheers.
- - Cheers.
- 387
- 00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:08,737
- Short and sweet.
- 388
- 00:24:12,075 --> 00:24:13,325
- Oh, it's like college.
- 389
- 00:24:13,493 --> 00:24:15,911
- - All right. I wanna talk about something.
- - All right.
- 390
- 00:24:16,079 --> 00:24:17,371
- - I want to...
- - I'd like to...
- 391
- 00:24:18,206 --> 00:24:20,583
- I'd like to say something...
- 392
- 00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:23,377
- ...that I prepared...
- 393
- 00:24:23,962 --> 00:24:26,255
- ...tonight.
- - All right, Alan.
- 394
- 00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:32,136
- "Hello.
- 395
- 00:24:33,597 --> 00:24:35,639
- How about that ride in?
- 396
- 00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:37,892
- I guess that's why they call it
- Sin City.
- 397
- 00:24:40,353 --> 00:24:45,274
- You guys might not know this,
- but I consider myself a bit of a loner.
- 398
- 00:24:45,442 --> 00:24:48,652
- I tend to think of myself
- as a one-man wolf pack.
- 399
- 00:24:50,405 --> 00:24:53,908
- But when my sister brought Doug home,
- I knew he was one of my own.
- 400
- 00:24:54,951 --> 00:24:58,704
- And my wolf pack, it grew by one.
- 401
- 00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:01,665
- So were there two...
- So there were two of us in the wolf pack.
- 402
- 00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:06,128
- I was alone first in the pack,
- and then Doug joined in later.
- 403
- 00:25:07,088 --> 00:25:08,714
- And six months ago...
- 404
- 00:25:08,882 --> 00:25:11,926
- ...when Doug introduced me to you guys,
- I thought:
- 405
- 00:25:12,093 --> 00:25:16,096
- 'Wait a second. Could it be? '
- And now, I know for sure.
- 406
- 00:25:16,264 --> 00:25:18,891
- I just added two more guys
- to my wolf pack."
- 407
- 00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:21,268
- - All right.
- - All right.
- 408
- 00:25:21,436 --> 00:25:22,978
- "Four of us wolves...
- 409
- 00:25:23,146 --> 00:25:27,066
- ...running around the desert together
- in Las Vegas...
- 410
- 00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:29,693
- ...looking for strippers and cocaine."
- 411
- 00:25:29,861 --> 00:25:30,903
- So tonight...
- 412
- 00:25:32,072 --> 00:25:33,113
- ...I make a toast.
- - Whoa.
- 413
- 00:25:33,281 --> 00:25:35,157
- - What...?
- - What do you got there?
- 414
- 00:25:35,325 --> 00:25:37,785
- - Dude, what the fuck?
- - What the hell are you doing?
- 415
- 00:25:41,706 --> 00:25:44,458
- - What is that?
- - Blood brothers.
- 416
- 00:25:44,626 --> 00:25:46,126
- - Don't... Why did you...?
- - Damn it.
- 417
- 00:25:46,294 --> 00:25:47,419
- - Here.
- - Alan...
- 418
- 00:25:47,587 --> 00:25:49,129
- - No.
- - No, I'm not doing that.
- 419
- 00:25:49,297 --> 00:25:50,839
- - Go ahead, Stuart.
- - Make him stop.
- 420
- 00:25:51,007 --> 00:25:53,551
- Alan, we're not gonna cut ourselves.
- Give me the knife.
- 421
- 00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:56,470
- Slowly. Thank you.
- Okay. Thank you very much.
- 422
- 00:25:56,638 --> 00:25:58,472
- - You all right? Are you okay?
- Mm-hm.
- 423
- 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,307
- - Do you need a doctor?
- - He's good.
- 424
- 00:26:00,475 --> 00:26:01,642
- - You sure?
- - I'm good.
- 425
- 00:26:01,810 --> 00:26:04,603
- All right, good,
- because I need everybody to focus.
- 426
- 00:26:04,771 --> 00:26:08,607
- I wanna take a moment, I wanna talk
- about some... I wanna talk about memory.
- 427
- 00:26:08,775 --> 00:26:11,652
- No, better yet,
- I wanna talk about selective memory.
- 428
- 00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:16,991
- You see, whatever happens here tonight
- may as well never have happened at all...
- 429
- 00:26:17,534 --> 00:26:20,494
- ...because this circle's about as far
- as it's ever gonna go.
- 430
- 00:26:20,662 --> 00:26:24,290
- In other words, forget everything.
- 431
- 00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:27,293
- Doug, I'm serious. I got a wife and kid.
- 432
- 00:26:28,378 --> 00:26:32,172
- Okay, good or bad, we don't remember
- so we got nothing to talk about.
- 433
- 00:26:32,340 --> 00:26:35,175
- Nothing, guys. Nothing.
- 434
- 00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,261
- Deal?
- 435
- 00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:39,096
- - Deal.
- - Deal.
- 436
- 00:26:39,806 --> 00:26:43,684
- - Perfect. Alan, come here, buddy.
- - Get in here, crazy.
- 437
- 00:26:44,019 --> 00:26:48,230
- All right, to a night
- we'll never remember...
- 438
- 00:26:50,066 --> 00:26:52,943
- ...but the four of us
- will never forget.
- 439
- 00:26:57,699 --> 00:26:59,033
- - There it is.
- - Hear, hear.
- 440
- 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,201
- Hey, thanks, guys.
- 441
- 00:29:26,055 --> 00:29:27,181
- Hm.
- 442
- 00:29:27,348 --> 00:29:29,516
- Stupid tiger.
- 443
- 00:29:36,232 --> 00:29:37,983
- What the fuck?
- 444
- 00:29:39,152 --> 00:29:42,029
- Control yourself, man.
- Goddamn, will you put on some pants?
- 445
- 00:29:42,197 --> 00:29:45,115
- - Phil, do not go in the bathroom.
- - AI, just calm down. It's me.
- 446
- 00:29:45,283 --> 00:29:47,701
- Phil, there is a tiger in the bathroom.
- 447
- 00:29:47,869 --> 00:29:50,537
- - What's going on?
- - There's a jungle cat in the bathroom!
- 448
- 00:29:50,705 --> 00:29:53,207
- - Okay, okay, Al. Al, I'll check it out.
- - Don't go in.
- 449
- 00:29:53,374 --> 00:29:56,168
- Don't go in, don't go in.
- Be careful. Don't, don't.
- 450
- 00:29:58,046 --> 00:30:00,672
- - Oh! Holy fuck! He's not kidding.
- - See? See?
- 451
- 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,133
- - There's a tiger in there.
- - No, there isn't.
- 452
- 00:30:03,343 --> 00:30:04,676
- Yeah!
- 453
- 00:30:04,844 --> 00:30:08,347
- - It's big. Gigantic.
- - You okay, buddy?
- 454
- 00:30:08,515 --> 00:30:11,058
- No. I am in so much pain right now.
- 455
- 00:30:11,226 --> 00:30:14,645
- Goddamn. Look at this place.
- 456
- 00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:15,854
- Whew.
- 457
- 00:30:16,022 --> 00:30:20,359
- I know. Phil, they have my credit card
- downstairs. I am so screwed.
- 458
- 00:30:20,527 --> 00:30:23,195
- How does a tiger get in the bathroom?
- It almost killed me.
- 459
- 00:30:23,363 --> 00:30:25,239
- Hey, bro?
- You mind putting on some pants?
- 460
- 00:30:25,406 --> 00:30:27,449
- I find it a little weird
- I have to ask twice.
- 461
- 00:30:27,617 --> 00:30:30,244
- Pants at a time like this?
- I don't have any p...
- 462
- 00:30:31,454 --> 00:30:33,664
- What the fuck happened last night?
- 463
- 00:30:33,832 --> 00:30:37,167
- Hey, Phil, am I missing a tooth?
- 464
- 00:30:37,544 --> 00:30:40,629
- I can't... Oh, shit.
- 465
- 00:30:42,924 --> 00:30:45,467
- Oh, my God.
- 466
- 00:30:45,635 --> 00:30:47,594
- My lateral incisor's... It's gone!
- 467
- 00:30:47,762 --> 00:30:52,015
- It's okay. Okay, okay. Just calm down.
- We're fine. Everything's fine.
- 468
- 00:30:52,183 --> 00:30:53,433
- Alan, go wake up Doug.
- 469
- 00:30:53,601 --> 00:30:57,437
- Let's get some coffee and get the fuck
- out of Nevada before housekeeping shows.
- 470
- 00:30:57,605 --> 00:31:01,191
- What am I gonna tell Melissa? I lost a tooth.
- I have no idea how it happened.
- 471
- 00:31:01,359 --> 00:31:02,651
- You're freaking me out, man.
- 472
- 00:31:02,819 --> 00:31:05,279
- I got a massive headache, okay?
- Let's just calm down.
- 473
- 00:31:05,446 --> 00:31:08,031
- How am I supposed to calm down?
- Look around you.
- 474
- 00:31:08,491 --> 00:31:11,410
- - Hey, guys, he's not in there.
- - Did you check all the rooms?
- 475
- 00:31:11,578 --> 00:31:14,246
- Yeah, I looked everywhere.
- Plus, his mattress is gone.
- 476
- 00:31:14,414 --> 00:31:16,832
- He probably went to the pool
- to get something to eat.
- 477
- 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,458
- I'll just call his cell.
- 478
- 00:31:19,836 --> 00:31:22,087
- I look like a nerdy hillbilly.
- 479
- 00:31:35,602 --> 00:31:37,394
- - Hello?
- - Alan.
- 480
- 00:31:37,562 --> 00:31:38,812
- Hey.
- 481
- 00:31:39,772 --> 00:31:42,316
- - It's Phil.
- - Oh, hey, Phi...
- 482
- 00:31:42,984 --> 00:31:44,985
- This is Doug's phone.
- This is Doug's phone.
- 483
- 00:31:45,153 --> 00:31:46,153
- - No shit.
- - Yeah.
- 484
- 00:31:50,867 --> 00:31:53,368
- What the fuck is that?
- 485
- 00:31:59,834 --> 00:32:01,460
- Whose fucking baby is that?
- 486
- 00:32:01,628 --> 00:32:04,338
- Alan, are you sure you didn't see
- anyone else in the suite?
- 487
- 00:32:04,505 --> 00:32:06,548
- Yeah, I checked all the rooms.
- No one's here.
- 488
- 00:32:06,716 --> 00:32:09,009
- Check its collar or something.
- 489
- 00:32:09,177 --> 00:32:11,053
- Shh. Shh.
- 490
- 00:32:11,220 --> 00:32:13,847
- - It's okay, baby.
- - Stu, we don't have time for this.
- 491
- 00:32:14,015 --> 00:32:16,683
- Let's go hook up with Doug,
- we'll deal with the baby later.
- 492
- 00:32:16,851 --> 00:32:19,019
- Phil, we're not gonna leave a baby
- in the room.
- 493
- 00:32:19,187 --> 00:32:22,022
- - There's a fucking tiger in the bathroom.
- - It's not our baby.
- 494
- 00:32:22,190 --> 00:32:24,107
- Yeah, I gotta side with Stu on this one.
- 495
- 00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:26,360
- All right, fine.
- Okay, we'll take it with us.
- 496
- 00:32:26,527 --> 00:32:28,695
- Could you at least just find some pants?
- 497
- 00:32:36,162 --> 00:32:39,957
- Why can't we remember a goddamn thing
- from last night?
- 498
- 00:32:40,124 --> 00:32:43,752
- Because we obviously
- had a great fucking time.
- 499
- 00:32:44,295 --> 00:32:47,547
- Why don't you just stop worrying
- for one minute?
- 500
- 00:32:47,715 --> 00:32:49,049
- Be proud of yourself.
- 501
- 00:32:49,217 --> 00:32:53,345
- <font color="#FFFFFF">I don't know, Phil.
- Maybe it's because I'm missing a tooth.</font>
- 502
- 00:32:53,554 --> 00:32:58,684
- Or <font color="#FFFFFF">maybe it's</font> because
- there's a tiger in our hotel room...
- 503
- 00:32:58,851 --> 00:33:02,396
- <font color="#FFFFFF">...which, incidentally,
- is completely destroyed.</font>
- 504
- 00:33:03,564 --> 00:33:06,024
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Oh, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, I know.</font>
- 505
- 00:33:06,192 --> 00:33:10,904
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Maybe it's because we found a baby,
- a human baby.</font>
- 506
- 00:33:11,072 --> 00:33:12,781
- That's it.<font color="#FFFFFF"> That's</font> it.
- 507
- 00:33:12,949 --> 00:33:16,910
- <font color="#FFFFFF">It's because we found a fucking baby.</font>
- 508
- 00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:21,581
- - <font color="#FFFFFF">You shouldn't curse around the child.
- - Really? You shouldn't be around a child.</font>
- 509
- 00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:30,590
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Oh, how cute. What's his name?</font>
- 510
- 00:33:32,927 --> 00:33:35,554
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- Ben.
- - Carlos.</font>
- 511
- 00:33:36,931 --> 00:33:38,640
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Carlos?</font>
- 512
- 00:33:48,985 --> 00:33:50,569
- Thank you.
- 513
- 00:33:55,616 --> 00:33:56,783
- Hey, Phil, look.
- 514
- 00:34:01,622 --> 00:34:03,248
- He's jacking his little weenis.
- 515
- 00:34:03,791 --> 00:34:07,127
- - Pull yourself together, man.
- - Not at the table, Carlos.
- 516
- 00:34:11,924 --> 00:34:13,175
- I looked everywhere.
- 517
- 00:34:13,342 --> 00:34:16,595
- Gym, casino, front desk.
- Nobody's seen Doug. He's not here.
- 518
- 00:34:16,763 --> 00:34:18,221
- He's fine. He's a grown man.
- 519
- 00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:21,475
- Seriously, Stu, you gotta calm down.
- Here, have some juice.
- 520
- 00:34:26,397 --> 00:34:27,731
- I can't have juice right now.
- 521
- 00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:30,484
- Okay. All right.
- Let's just track this thing.
- 522
- 00:34:31,986 --> 00:34:34,321
- What's the last thing
- we remember doing last night?
- 523
- 00:34:34,489 --> 00:34:36,656
- Well, the first thing was
- we were on the roof...
- 524
- 00:34:36,824 --> 00:34:38,450
- ...and were having those shots of JƤger.
- 525
- 00:34:40,953 --> 00:34:42,954
- And then we ate dinner
- at The Palm. Right?
- 526
- 00:34:43,122 --> 00:34:44,164
- That's right.
- 527
- 00:34:44,332 --> 00:34:48,001
- And then we played craps at
- the Hard Rock, and I think Doug was there.
- 528
- 00:34:48,169 --> 00:34:50,420
- That sounds right.
- No, no. He definitely was.
- 529
- 00:34:50,588 --> 00:34:53,423
- You know what, guys?
- I don't even remember going to dinner.
- 530
- 00:34:53,591 --> 00:34:56,426
- What the fuck?
- I don't think I've ever been this hung-over.
- 531
- 00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:58,845
- After the Hard Rock, I blacked out.
- It was like emptiness.
- 532
- 00:35:00,765 --> 00:35:02,641
- Okay. We have up until 10 p. M...
- 533
- 00:35:02,809 --> 00:35:06,061
- ...so that gives us a 12-hour window
- where we could have lost him.
- 534
- 00:35:06,229 --> 00:35:10,232
- - What is this?
- - Oh, my God. That is my tooth.
- 535
- 00:35:10,399 --> 00:35:13,443
- Why do you have that?
- What else is in your pockets?
- 536
- 00:35:13,611 --> 00:35:16,696
- This is a good thing. No.
- Check your pockets. Check your pockets.
- 537
- 00:35:16,864 --> 00:35:18,365
- Do you have anything?
- 538
- 00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:21,618
- I have an ATM receipt
- from the Bellagio.
- 539
- 00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:28,166
- Eleven-oh-five for $800!
- I am so fucked.
- 540
- 00:35:28,334 --> 00:35:32,546
- I have a valet ticket from Caesars.
- Looks like we got in at 5:15 a.m.
- 541
- 00:35:32,713 --> 00:35:34,714
- Oh, shit. We drove last night?
- 542
- 00:35:36,092 --> 00:35:37,926
- Driving drunk. Classic.
- 543
- 00:35:41,305 --> 00:35:43,056
- What's on your arm?
- 544
- 00:35:44,308 --> 00:35:45,976
- - What the fuck is that?
- - Jesus, Phil.
- 545
- 00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:49,020
- - You were in the hospital last night.
- - I guess so, yeah.
- 546
- 00:35:49,188 --> 00:35:51,565
- - You okay?
- - Yeah, Alan. I'm fine.
- 547
- 00:35:51,732 --> 00:35:53,567
- What the hell is going on?
- 548
- 00:35:53,734 --> 00:35:56,361
- Well, Stu, Stu, this is a good thing.
- We have a lead now.
- 549
- 00:35:56,529 --> 00:35:58,029
- Hey, Stu, watch this.
- 550
- 00:36:02,243 --> 00:36:05,370
- - You ever seen a baby do that?
- - Dude, Alan, not cool.
- 551
- 00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:12,878
- So, uh, are you sure you're qualified
- to be taking care of that baby?
- 552
- 00:36:13,045 --> 00:36:14,921
- What? I've found a baby before.
- 553
- 00:36:15,089 --> 00:36:17,382
- - You found a baby before?
- - Yeah.
- 554
- 00:36:17,550 --> 00:36:19,259
- - Where?
- - Coffee Bean.
- 555
- 00:36:20,761 --> 00:36:22,137
- Wait, what?
- 556
- 00:36:22,305 --> 00:36:25,432
- Hey, Phil? I don't think Doug
- would want us to take the Mercedes.
- 557
- 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:26,683
- Relax, we'll be careful.
- 558
- 00:36:26,851 --> 00:36:29,436
- My dad is crazy about that car.
- He left Doug in charge...
- 559
- 00:36:29,604 --> 00:36:31,855
- Alan. We got bigger problems here.
- 560
- 00:36:32,023 --> 00:36:33,940
- Doug could be in the hospital,
- he could be hurt.
- 561
- 00:36:35,401 --> 00:36:38,904
- - Let's worry about the car later.
- - Uh, guys? Check it out.
- 562
- 00:36:42,783 --> 00:36:44,701
- All right, grab it from the other side.
- 563
- 00:36:44,869 --> 00:36:46,870
- Is that the mattress from Doug's room?
- 564
- 00:36:47,413 --> 00:36:49,456
- What the fuck?
- 565
- 00:36:50,541 --> 00:36:52,792
- Hey, man, what's going on here?
- 566
- 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,296
- Some asshole threw his bed
- out the window last night.
- 567
- 00:36:56,464 --> 00:36:58,798
- - No shit.
- - Yeah.
- 568
- 00:36:58,966 --> 00:37:00,967
- Some guys just can't handle Vegas.
- 569
- 00:37:02,511 --> 00:37:03,553
- Ha-ha.
- 570
- 00:37:04,639 --> 00:37:06,514
- Oh, God.
- 571
- 00:37:06,807 --> 00:37:08,475
- It's gonna be okay, Stu.
- 572
- 00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:11,853
- How the hell did we manage that?
- 573
- 00:37:15,483 --> 00:37:18,735
- - Here's your car, officers.
- - Oh, God.
- 574
- 00:37:18,903 --> 00:37:21,780
- All right, everybody act cool.
- All right, don't say a word.
- 575
- 00:37:21,948 --> 00:37:25,242
- Come on, let's just get in and go.
- Come on.
- 576
- 00:37:27,328 --> 00:37:29,829
- - Stu, you got a five?
- - No.
- 577
- 00:37:30,706 --> 00:37:33,166
- - I'll hit you on the way back.
- - Thank you, sir.
- 578
- 00:37:33,334 --> 00:37:35,752
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- 579
- 00:37:37,171 --> 00:37:39,506
- You just nailed the baby.
- 580
- 00:37:39,674 --> 00:37:40,674
- Are my glasses okay?
- 581
- 00:37:41,467 --> 00:37:44,219
- Your glasses are fine, dick.
- 582
- 00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:51,893
- This is so illegal.
- 583
- 00:37:52,436 --> 00:37:54,312
- Can't you see the fun part in anything?
- 584
- 00:37:55,564 --> 00:37:58,024
- Yeah, we're stuck in traffic
- in a stolen police car...
- 585
- 00:37:58,192 --> 00:38:00,193
- ...with a missing child
- in the back seat.
- 586
- 00:38:00,361 --> 00:38:01,861
- Which part of this is fun?
- 587
- 00:38:02,655 --> 00:38:06,866
- - I think the cop-car part's pretty cool.
- - Thank you, Alan. It is cool.
- 588
- 00:38:07,034 --> 00:38:08,868
- Doug would love it.
- 589
- 00:38:09,787 --> 00:38:11,371
- Come on.
- 590
- 00:38:14,208 --> 00:38:16,876
- - Check this out.
- - Oh, no. No, Phil. No, Phil.
- 591
- 00:38:17,044 --> 00:38:18,044
- Don't do this!
- 592
- 00:38:18,212 --> 00:38:20,547
- - Take it easy.
- - Just try to call more attention to us.
- 593
- 00:38:20,715 --> 00:38:22,048
- - Attention.
- - Sorry.
- 594
- 00:38:22,216 --> 00:38:24,175
- Attention, please. Move out of the way.
- 595
- 00:38:24,343 --> 00:38:25,844
- I repeat, please disperse.
- 596
- 00:38:28,097 --> 00:38:31,850
- Phil, stop the car, I wanna get out.
- Stop the car, I wanna get out. Pull over.
- 597
- 00:38:32,018 --> 00:38:36,396
- Ma'am, in the leopard dress,
- you have an amazing rack.
- 598
- 00:38:37,356 --> 00:38:39,691
- Get off the sidewalk!
- Get off the sidewalk!
- 599
- 00:38:39,859 --> 00:38:41,318
- I should have been a fucking cop.
- 600
- 00:38:48,075 --> 00:38:49,409
- Look, I already told you.
- 601
- 00:38:49,577 --> 00:38:52,746
- You came in with a mild concussion,
- some bruised ribs. No big deal.
- 602
- 00:38:52,913 --> 00:38:55,415
- Although none of you could articulate
- how it happened.
- 603
- 00:38:55,583 --> 00:38:58,043
- Do you remember how many of us
- were here?
- 604
- 00:38:58,210 --> 00:38:59,502
- Ah...
- 605
- 00:38:59,670 --> 00:39:03,256
- I don't know. I think it was just you guys.
- Definitely no baby.
- 606
- 00:39:03,424 --> 00:39:07,052
- - And one other guy.
- - That's our guy. Was he okay?
- 607
- 00:39:07,219 --> 00:39:11,264
- Yeah. He was fine.
- Just whacked out of his mind. You all were.
- 608
- 00:39:11,432 --> 00:39:15,101
- All right, come forward.
- And turn.
- 609
- 00:39:15,269 --> 00:39:16,269
- All right.
- 610
- 00:39:17,271 --> 00:39:19,647
- There you go. And cough.
- 611
- 00:39:21,025 --> 00:39:24,694
- Cough. Cough. Give me one more.
- 612
- 00:39:25,696 --> 00:39:28,031
- All right. Thattaboy.
- 613
- 00:39:29,075 --> 00:39:30,867
- Okay, Felix, you can put your robe on.
- 614
- 00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:33,161
- And the nurse will be in here
- in a minute.
- 615
- 00:39:33,329 --> 00:39:35,455
- I'll see you after the weekend.
- 616
- 00:39:35,623 --> 00:39:38,541
- Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, doctor.
- 617
- 00:39:40,878 --> 00:39:44,381
- Guys, I really gotta go. I'm sorry.
- I have a surgery up on the fourth floor.
- 618
- 00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:48,385
- No, I know. But we just need
- a couple more minutes of your time.
- 619
- 00:39:50,930 --> 00:39:55,225
- Yeah. Tuck it right in there.
- I don't want to re-sterilize.
- 620
- 00:39:55,393 --> 00:39:57,060
- Walk with me.
- 621
- 00:39:59,355 --> 00:40:04,692
- Okay, here we go. Patient name,
- Phil Wenneck, 2:45 a.m. Arrival.
- 622
- 00:40:04,860 --> 00:40:07,737
- Minor concussion, like I said.
- Some bruising. Pretty standard.
- 623
- 00:40:07,905 --> 00:40:09,989
- Do you mind if I look?
- I'm actually a doctor.
- 624
- 00:40:10,157 --> 00:40:14,619
- Yeah, you said that several times last night.
- But really, you're just a dentist.
- 625
- 00:40:15,371 --> 00:40:19,791
- Okay, this is interesting.
- Your blood work came in this morning.
- 626
- 00:40:19,959 --> 00:40:21,668
- Wow.
- 627
- 00:40:22,586 --> 00:40:25,755
- They found a large amount of Ruphylin
- in your system.
- 628
- 00:40:26,173 --> 00:40:29,759
- Ruphylin. Roofies.
- Commonly known as the date-rape drug.
- 629
- 00:40:29,927 --> 00:40:32,679
- What, so, what are you saying,
- I was raped last night?
- 630
- 00:40:33,472 --> 00:40:35,014
- Actually...
- 631
- 00:40:39,019 --> 00:40:42,313
- I don't think so.
- But someone did slip you the drug.
- 632
- 00:40:42,481 --> 00:40:44,023
- I'm not surprised
- you don't remember anything.
- 633
- 00:40:45,359 --> 00:40:48,695
- Doc, none of us can remember anything
- from last night. Remember?
- 634
- 00:40:49,738 --> 00:40:52,115
- Yeah. How could someone
- have drugged all of us?
- 635
- 00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:53,491
- I wouldn't worry about it.
- 636
- 00:40:53,659 --> 00:40:56,369
- The stuff's out of your system.
- You're gonna be fine.
- 637
- 00:40:56,537 --> 00:40:59,247
- Wait, wait, wait. Please, doctor.
- Is there anything else?
- 638
- 00:40:59,415 --> 00:41:03,751
- Like, something we may have been talking
- about, or some place we were going?
- 639
- 00:41:03,919 --> 00:41:05,712
- Actually, there was something.
- 640
- 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,298
- You guys kept talking about some wedding
- last night.
- 641
- 00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:11,092
- Yeah. No shit. Our buddy Doug's
- getting married tomorrow.
- 642
- 00:41:11,260 --> 00:41:13,595
- - You know what? I want the 100 back.
- - No, no. Easy.
- 643
- 00:41:13,762 --> 00:41:16,306
- You kept talking about some wedding
- you just came from.
- 644
- 00:41:16,474 --> 00:41:17,807
- At the, uh, Best Little Chapel.
- 645
- 00:41:17,975 --> 00:41:21,436
- You kept saying how sick the wedding was
- and getting all crazy about it.
- 646
- 00:41:21,604 --> 00:41:23,813
- Okay, I hope this helps.
- I really have to leave.
- 647
- 00:41:23,981 --> 00:41:26,357
- Best Little Chapel,
- do you know where that is?
- 648
- 00:41:26,525 --> 00:41:30,361
- I do. It's at the corner of Get A Map
- and Fuck Off.
- 649
- 00:41:32,364 --> 00:41:34,240
- I'm a doctor, not a tour guide.
- 650
- 00:41:34,408 --> 00:41:37,577
- Figure it out yourself, okay?
- You're big boys.
- 651
- 00:41:49,715 --> 00:41:50,757
- What about the baby?
- 652
- 00:41:50,925 --> 00:41:53,176
- Leave him in the car.
- We're gonna be five minutes.
- 653
- 00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:55,178
- Whoa, we're not leaving a baby in the car.
- 654
- 00:41:55,346 --> 00:41:58,014
- He'll be fine. I cracked the window.
- 655
- 00:42:02,019 --> 00:42:05,104
- - What if they don't remember us?
- - Well, let's just find out.
- 656
- 00:42:06,941 --> 00:42:08,650
- I'm sor... Excuse me, sir? Hi.
- 657
- 00:42:10,945 --> 00:42:12,278
- Look at these guys.
- 658
- 00:42:12,446 --> 00:42:15,532
- What happened? You miss me?
- You miss Eddie? You want more from me?
- 659
- 00:42:15,699 --> 00:42:19,035
- How are you, my friend?
- Look at this guy. You're fucking crazy.
- 660
- 00:42:19,203 --> 00:42:20,245
- What's going on, man?
- 661
- 00:42:20,746 --> 00:42:24,123
- Listen, I'm gonna tell you something.
- I know some sick people in my life.
- 662
- 00:42:24,291 --> 00:42:28,962
- This guy is the craziest, wildest bastard
- I ever met in my life, man.
- 663
- 00:42:29,129 --> 00:42:30,964
- - This guy?
- - This guy is out of his mind.
- 664
- 00:42:31,131 --> 00:42:33,633
- What's going on,
- you fucking crazy motherfucker?
- 665
- 00:42:33,801 --> 00:42:35,927
- I thought he was gonna eat my dick.
- 666
- 00:42:36,095 --> 00:42:38,638
- What happened?
- No love for Eddie? You don't hug me?
- 667
- 00:42:38,806 --> 00:42:40,890
- No, no. It's not that, Eddie.
- 668
- 00:42:41,058 --> 00:42:45,478
- Uh, it's just that we're having a hard time
- remembering what happened here last night.
- 669
- 00:42:45,646 --> 00:42:48,231
- Yeah, was there a wedding here?
- Do you do weddings here?
- 670
- 00:42:50,025 --> 00:42:51,651
- You are cracking my balls, man.
- 671
- 00:42:51,819 --> 00:42:54,988
- I love these guys.
- Zolea, what are you doing?
- 672
- 00:42:55,155 --> 00:42:57,699
- Bring my friends some tea,
- some baklava, huh? Come on.
- 673
- 00:42:57,866 --> 00:43:01,661
- Unbelievable, man. Look at this chick.
- Beautiful ass, no fucking brain.
- 674
- 00:43:01,829 --> 00:43:05,081
- But this is Vegas. You want intimacy,
- forget it. You're gonna get sex.
- 675
- 00:43:05,249 --> 00:43:07,584
- That's it here, man.
- No problem for me, though.
- 676
- 00:43:07,751 --> 00:43:10,003
- You want chicks?
- I can get you beautiful chicks...
- 677
- 00:43:10,170 --> 00:43:12,005
- ...from the Eastern Bloc. No questions.
- 678
- 00:43:12,172 --> 00:43:15,466
- Clean, tight.
- The tits like that, the nipple like that.
- 679
- 00:43:15,676 --> 00:43:18,344
- Obviously we were here.
- We're looking for our friend Doug.
- 680
- 00:43:18,512 --> 00:43:21,014
- - Do you remember?
- - Yeah, the small guy. Like a monkey.
- 681
- 00:43:21,181 --> 00:43:22,348
- - Yeah.
- - You saw him?
- 682
- 00:43:22,516 --> 00:43:23,516
- Of course.
- 683
- 00:43:23,684 --> 00:43:27,270
- Is there anything you can tell us about
- what may have happened last night?
- 684
- 00:43:29,064 --> 00:43:30,690
- You don't remember nothing?
- 685
- 00:43:34,486 --> 00:43:38,531
- - Congratulations, Stu, you got married.
- - This... This can't be happening.
- 686
- 00:43:39,867 --> 00:43:41,868
- - Oh, God.
- - Look at that.
- 687
- 00:43:45,873 --> 00:43:49,250
- I'll tell you one thing,
- you look seriously happy here, man.
- 688
- 00:43:50,002 --> 00:43:51,878
- That's it. My life is over.
- 689
- 00:43:52,046 --> 00:43:53,796
- Stu, it's okay. Look, shit happens.
- 690
- 00:43:53,964 --> 00:43:56,466
- Come on. Melissa's not gonna know
- anything about this.
- 691
- 00:43:56,634 --> 00:43:59,719
- - This never happened. I'll take care of it.
- - Come on. Put it here.
- 692
- 00:43:59,887 --> 00:44:00,887
- Hey, what's all that?
- 693
- 00:44:01,055 --> 00:44:05,058
- The High Roller package.
- It's what you ordered. I have coffee mugs.
- 694
- 00:44:05,225 --> 00:44:07,393
- - What?
- - You have baseball caps, huh?
- 695
- 00:44:07,561 --> 00:44:10,980
- And fancy calendars, all with pictures
- of Stu and Jade.
- 696
- 00:44:11,148 --> 00:44:12,231
- Her name's Jade?
- 697
- 00:44:12,399 --> 00:44:15,652
- Yeah, and she's beautiful, man.
- Clean, very tight. Tits like that.
- 698
- 00:44:15,819 --> 00:44:18,571
- - But that's because she had a baby.
- - That explains the baby.
- 699
- 00:44:18,739 --> 00:44:20,907
- - Oh, Carlos. Carlos.
- - Great. All right.
- 700
- 00:44:21,075 --> 00:44:23,201
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Uh, here's the deal.
- We made a mistake last night.</font>
- 701
- 00:44:23,369 --> 00:44:25,620
- We <font color="#FFFFFF">need this marriage </font>annulled.
- You do annulments?
- 702
- 00:44:25,788 --> 00:44:28,539
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Of course I do. It breaks my heart
- and gonna make me sad...</font>
- 703
- 00:44:28,707 --> 00:44:30,667
- ...<font color="#FFFFFF">but it's no problem.
- Good price for you.</font>
- 704
- 00:44:30,834 --> 00:44:34,545
- <font color="#FFFFFF">I can't do it with just him, though.
- I need the chick. I need both parties.</font>
- 705
- 00:44:34,713 --> 00:44:37,256
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Oh, not a problem. That's great.
- Isn't that great, Stu?</font>
- 706
- 00:44:37,424 --> 00:44:39,759
- Come<font color="#FFFFFF"> on, </font>buddy.
- She probably knows where Doug is.
- 707
- 00:44:39,927 --> 00:44:42,679
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- Awesome.
- - All right, all right. Okay. Uh...</font>
- 708
- 00:44:43,430 --> 00:44:46,265
- <font color="#FFFFFF">We need her address.
- She filled out some paperwork, right?</font>
- 709
- 00:44:46,433 --> 00:44:47,433
- Of<font color="#FFFFFF"> course.</font>
- 710
- 00:44:47,601 --> 00:44:51,437
- Hey. Excuse me. What is the matter
- with you? Go and get the paperwork, man.
- 711
- 00:44:51,605 --> 00:44:54,440
- - I spend my life waiting for you. Come on.
- - Okay. I'm going.
- 712
- 00:44:54,608 --> 00:44:56,818
- And get the baklava, please.
- 713
- 00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:05,159
- - Hey, Phil, what about my dad's car?
- - I'm sure Doug has it. We'll get it back.
- 714
- 00:45:05,327 --> 00:45:08,329
- Then I vote we torch the cop car
- and all this shit with it.
- 715
- 00:45:09,540 --> 00:45:13,459
- - Torch it? Who are you?
- - I don't know, Phil.
- 716
- 00:45:13,627 --> 00:45:16,003
- Apparently I'm a guy who marries
- complete strangers.
- 717
- 00:45:16,463 --> 00:45:21,175
- This whole situation is completely fucked.
- 718
- 00:45:21,468 --> 00:45:24,971
- - These mugs. This hat. This car.
- - Hey!
- 719
- 00:45:25,139 --> 00:45:28,141
- It's all evidence
- of a night that never happened.
- 720
- 00:45:28,308 --> 00:45:30,476
- That is why we're torching all of it.
- 721
- 00:45:30,644 --> 00:45:33,062
- Whoa, I'm a schoolteacher,
- I got a family, okay?
- 722
- 00:45:33,230 --> 00:45:35,898
- I'm all for secrecy,
- but I'm not gonna torch a cop car.
- 723
- 00:45:36,066 --> 00:45:37,859
- - Fine. I'll do it.
- - Can I help?
- 724
- 00:45:38,026 --> 00:45:40,653
- - Yeah, thanks.
- - And how exactly are you gonna do that?
- 725
- 00:45:40,821 --> 00:45:44,407
- Easy. You just pour kerosene over a ferret,
- light it on both ends, put it in.
- 726
- 00:45:44,575 --> 00:45:46,242
- They're attracted to the gas lines.
- 727
- 00:45:46,410 --> 00:45:47,785
- - What? A ferret?
- - Yeah. Yeah.
- 728
- 00:45:47,953 --> 00:45:50,496
- Or a tamed raccoon,
- but it's a lot of trouble.
- 729
- 00:45:50,664 --> 00:45:52,832
- - If you wanna...
- - Does it matter if it's tamed?
- 730
- 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,335
- Yeah, because if it's untamed,
- it won't take the kerosene as well.
- 731
- 00:45:57,713 --> 00:45:59,338
- - Is it Doug?
- - I don't have it.
- 732
- 00:45:59,506 --> 00:46:01,007
- It's Doug, it's Doug.
- 733
- 00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:02,467
- Uh, it's Melissa.
- 734
- 00:46:02,634 --> 00:46:05,136
- - Don't answer.
- - I have to. She's called twice already!
- 735
- 00:46:05,304 --> 00:46:06,471
- - Can I ride shotgun?
- - Don't touch me.
- 736
- 00:46:06,638 --> 00:46:08,639
- Hey, sweetheart, how are you?
- 737
- 00:46:08,807 --> 00:46:12,018
- There you are.
- This is the third time I'm trying you.
- 738
- 00:46:12,186 --> 00:46:15,188
- I know. The reception up here's crazy.
- 739
- 00:46:15,355 --> 00:46:18,107
- I think it's all the sequoia trees,
- block the signal.
- 740
- 00:46:18,275 --> 00:46:21,194
- Ugh, I hate that.
- So how was it last night?
- 741
- 00:46:21,361 --> 00:46:24,322
- Ah, it was really fun, actually.
- It was quiet, but it was a good time.
- 742
- 00:46:24,782 --> 00:46:26,032
- That sounds nice.
- 743
- 00:46:27,242 --> 00:46:29,619
- - I'm learning all kinds of vino factoids.
- - Hi.
- 744
- 00:46:31,580 --> 00:46:34,207
- It'd be so cool if I could breast-feed,
- you know?
- 745
- 00:46:34,374 --> 00:46:35,458
- Well, listen...
- 746
- 00:46:36,752 --> 00:46:39,378
- - ...we're about to go for a tractor ride.
- - What the fuck?
- 747
- 00:46:39,546 --> 00:46:43,007
- - I should get going. So pretty.
- - A tractor ride?
- 748
- 00:46:44,384 --> 00:46:46,260
- - Go, out of the car!
- - What was that?
- 749
- 00:46:46,428 --> 00:46:48,805
- They started up the tractor.
- I think it backfired.
- 750
- 00:46:48,972 --> 00:46:51,140
- - Where the hell is he?
- - Hey, easy, easy.
- 751
- 00:46:51,308 --> 00:46:53,726
- I think we're looking for
- the same guy, okay?
- 752
- 00:46:54,812 --> 00:46:56,062
- Hey! What the hell, man?
- 753
- 00:46:57,397 --> 00:46:59,899
- What the fuck, Stu?
- Is that a baby?
- 754
- 00:47:00,067 --> 00:47:03,027
- Why would there be a baby?
- We're at a winery. That's a goat.
- 755
- 00:47:03,195 --> 00:47:06,155
- - Where is he?
- - I don't know! What are you talking about?
- 756
- 00:47:06,323 --> 00:47:09,325
- Sir, can you please start the tractor
- so we can get out of here?
- 757
- 00:47:09,493 --> 00:47:11,410
- I'm trying to, but we're fucking blocked.
- 758
- 00:47:11,578 --> 00:47:14,163
- Oh, my God!
- What the hell is happening, Stu?
- 759
- 00:47:14,331 --> 00:47:17,667
- - Hey! There's a baby on board!
- - Someone just said "baby."
- 760
- 00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:19,919
- - Get out of the car!
- - It's a baby goat.
- 761
- 00:47:20,087 --> 00:47:22,213
- Why you making trouble
- for my business, man?
- 762
- 00:47:22,381 --> 00:47:24,257
- - Go away from here.
- - Get out of the car!
- 763
- 00:47:24,424 --> 00:47:26,551
- - Phil, he's got a gun!
- - No shit he's got a gun!
- 764
- 00:47:26,718 --> 00:47:28,928
- - I gotta call you back. Bye.
- - Come on.
- 765
- 00:47:30,848 --> 00:47:32,431
- - Fuck! Shit.
- - He shot me!
- 766
- 00:47:32,599 --> 00:47:34,934
- - He shot Eddie!
- - Fuck this shit!
- 767
- 00:47:38,272 --> 00:47:40,189
- Fuck! Fuck!
- 768
- 00:47:40,649 --> 00:47:43,234
- Go, go, go!
- 769
- 00:47:45,571 --> 00:47:46,612
- Fuck.
- 770
- 00:47:46,780 --> 00:47:48,781
- Okay. Oh, that was some sick shit!
- 771
- 00:47:50,158 --> 00:47:51,200
- Who were those guys?
- 772
- 00:47:51,368 --> 00:47:53,452
- We're gonna be okay.
- Everything's gonna be okay.
- 773
- 00:47:53,620 --> 00:47:55,454
- What the fuck is going on?!
- 774
- 00:47:56,582 --> 00:47:57,623
- I have no idea.
- 775
- 00:48:04,464 --> 00:48:06,549
- Why don't you just let that
- go to voicemail?
- 776
- 00:48:06,717 --> 00:48:08,259
- Ha-ha-ha.
- 777
- 00:48:09,219 --> 00:48:12,054
- That's a fake laugh, by the way.
- 778
- 00:48:14,641 --> 00:48:19,186
- It's got, uh, Ted Danson and Magnum
- P.I. And that Jewish actor.
- 779
- 00:48:19,354 --> 00:48:20,980
- Shut up, Alan.
- 780
- 00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:23,566
- - What room was it again?
- - It's 825.
- 781
- 00:48:23,734 --> 00:48:26,152
- I know, I did. I already checked with her.
- 782
- 00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:30,698
- I found him, I'll call you back.
- Thank God, he's with his father.
- 783
- 00:48:30,866 --> 00:48:34,827
- I was freaking out. I missed you, sweetie.
- 784
- 00:48:34,995 --> 00:48:37,330
- And I miss you.
- 785
- 00:48:41,126 --> 00:48:42,543
- No.
- 786
- 00:48:43,003 --> 00:48:46,839
- - What the hell happened to you guys?
- - Actually, we were hoping you could tell us.
- 787
- 00:48:47,007 --> 00:48:49,926
- What do you mean? I got up this morning,
- I went to get coffee...
- 788
- 00:48:50,093 --> 00:48:52,094
- ...and I came back and you were gone.
- 789
- 00:48:53,847 --> 00:48:57,642
- - Why are you being so quiet?
- - I'm not being quiet.
- 790
- 00:48:58,018 --> 00:48:59,810
- Ha, ha. You're so cute.
- 791
- 00:48:59,978 --> 00:49:03,105
- Yeah, I gotta feed Tyler.
- Come inside, you guys.
- 792
- 00:49:04,858 --> 00:49:07,443
- Did you hear that? Baby's name is Tyler.
- 793
- 00:49:07,611 --> 00:49:10,947
- Yeah. I thought he looked
- more like a Carlos too, bud.
- 794
- 00:49:14,368 --> 00:49:17,870
- Okay, what's up?
- You guys are acting weird.
- 795
- 00:49:18,038 --> 00:49:20,957
- - Look, it's Jade, right?
- - Very funny, Phil.
- 796
- 00:49:21,458 --> 00:49:24,961
- Right, Jade, uh, ahem,
- you remember our friend, Doug.
- 797
- 00:49:25,128 --> 00:49:26,963
- Are you kidding? He was the best man.
- 798
- 00:49:27,130 --> 00:49:29,882
- Exactly. Well, we can't find him,
- and we're getting worried.
- 799
- 00:49:30,050 --> 00:49:33,052
- Oh, my God, that is so Doug.
- 800
- 00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:34,887
- Ha, ha. Oh.
- 801
- 00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:38,808
- Oh, sweetie, I'm...
- I'm gonna go clean him off.
- 802
- 00:49:38,976 --> 00:49:40,977
- It's all right, Daddy didn't mean it.
- 803
- 00:49:41,144 --> 00:49:42,436
- Oh, my God.
- 804
- 00:49:42,604 --> 00:49:44,730
- What the fuck, man,
- you gotta hold it together.
- 805
- 00:49:44,898 --> 00:49:46,565
- - Holy shit.
- - She is super hot.
- 806
- 00:49:46,733 --> 00:49:50,027
- - You should be proud of yourself.
- - She's wearing my grandmother's ring!
- 807
- 00:49:50,195 --> 00:49:52,154
- - What?
- - The ring I'm gonna give to Melissa.
- 808
- 00:49:52,322 --> 00:49:54,323
- You remember,
- my grandmother's Holocaust ring?
- 809
- 00:49:54,491 --> 00:49:56,575
- - Fuck. Okay.
- - She's wearing it.
- 810
- 00:49:56,743 --> 00:49:59,453
- I didn't know they gave out rings
- at the Holocaust.
- 811
- 00:50:00,580 --> 00:50:02,623
- - He's okay.
- - Oh, good.
- 812
- 00:50:02,791 --> 00:50:04,750
- - He was just hungry, he's fine.
- - Oh, good.
- 813
- 00:50:04,918 --> 00:50:09,213
- About last night, uh, ahem, do you
- remember the last time you saw Doug?
- 814
- 00:50:09,381 --> 00:50:12,967
- - Uh, I haven't seen him since the wedding.
- - The wedding. Okay. Great.
- 815
- 00:50:13,135 --> 00:50:16,429
- And, uh, we can't re...
- What time was that at?
- 816
- 00:50:16,596 --> 00:50:19,098
- Well, it was, um...
- 817
- 00:50:21,101 --> 00:50:24,687
- I guess it was around 1, because I had
- to go back to work and finish my shift.
- 818
- 00:50:24,855 --> 00:50:27,773
- And then when I got out I headed over
- to the hotel with Tyler.
- 819
- 00:50:27,941 --> 00:50:29,275
- And was Doug there then?
- 820
- 00:50:29,443 --> 00:50:32,820
- I didn't see Doug because you guys
- were passed out. The room was a wreck.
- 821
- 00:50:32,988 --> 00:50:35,114
- - So I just curled up next to Stu.
- Uh-huh.
- 822
- 00:50:35,282 --> 00:50:36,991
- - Rowr.
- - Oh.
- 823
- 00:50:39,161 --> 00:50:42,038
- I got a question.
- Um, you said when your shift ended.
- 824
- 00:50:42,205 --> 00:50:46,459
- Does that mean you're a nurse?
- Or a blackjack dealer?
- 825
- 00:50:47,127 --> 00:50:49,795
- - You know this. I'm a stripper.
- - Mm-hm.
- 826
- 00:50:49,963 --> 00:50:53,716
- Well, technically I'm an escort, but
- stripping's a great way to meet the clients.
- 827
- 00:50:53,884 --> 00:50:55,968
- - Smart.
- - Savvy.
- 828
- 00:50:56,136 --> 00:50:59,847
- But that's all in the past,
- now that I married a doctor.
- 829
- 00:51:00,015 --> 00:51:01,724
- I'm just a dentist.
- 830
- 00:51:03,143 --> 00:51:04,560
- - Las Vegas Police! Freeze!
- - Okay.
- 831
- 00:51:05,937 --> 00:51:07,396
- Shut that baby up! Shut that baby up!
- 832
- 00:51:07,564 --> 00:51:10,274
- - Oh, God!
- - Okay, okay, okay.
- 833
- 00:51:15,989 --> 00:51:18,491
- After we take the mug shots,
- we bring them down here...
- 834
- 00:51:18,658 --> 00:51:22,244
- ...where they wait to be interviewed
- by the arresting officers.
- 835
- 00:51:22,412 --> 00:51:25,790
- Trust me, kids, you do not wanna be sitting
- on these benches.
- 836
- 00:51:25,957 --> 00:51:28,042
- We call this place Loserville.
- 837
- 00:51:30,003 --> 00:51:33,005
- Follow me. All right, let's do it. Come on.
- 838
- 00:51:38,303 --> 00:51:39,512
- Hello.
- 839
- 00:51:39,679 --> 00:51:42,807
- - Hey, Tracy! It's Phil.
- - Hey, Phil.
- 840
- 00:51:42,974 --> 00:51:47,186
- - Where are you guys?
- - We are at the spa at the hotel.
- 841
- 00:51:47,354 --> 00:51:50,272
- Cool. We're just getting some sun.
- Is Doug around?
- 842
- 00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:52,149
- Of course. Why wouldn't he be?
- 843
- 00:51:52,317 --> 00:51:54,527
- I'm just wondering
- why you're calling me.
- 844
- 00:51:54,694 --> 00:51:56,195
- Um...
- 845
- 00:51:56,363 --> 00:51:59,657
- We made a deal,
- no talking to girlfriends or wives.
- 846
- 00:51:59,825 --> 00:52:03,202
- So we're all calling each other's.
- 847
- 00:52:03,370 --> 00:52:04,829
- Okay. What's up?
- 848
- 00:52:04,996 --> 00:52:09,041
- Uh, you are not gonna believe this.
- We got comped an extra night at the hotel.
- 849
- 00:52:09,209 --> 00:52:10,209
- You did?
- 850
- 00:52:10,377 --> 00:52:13,170
- Yeah. The suite is... It's ridiculous.
- It's out of control.
- 851
- 00:52:13,338 --> 00:52:17,299
- There's, like, room service and a butler.
- I mean, just the works.
- 852
- 00:52:17,467 --> 00:52:19,343
- We're thinking of spending the night...
- 853
- 00:52:19,511 --> 00:52:21,720
- ...and we're gonna come back
- in the morning.
- 854
- 00:52:21,888 --> 00:52:25,224
- You wanna stay an extra night?
- But the wedding's tomorrow.
- 855
- 00:52:25,392 --> 00:52:28,894
- That's why we're gonna get up early,
- and we'll be back in plenty of time.
- 856
- 00:52:29,062 --> 00:52:31,355
- Okay. Are you sure that's a good idea?
- 857
- 00:52:31,523 --> 00:52:34,233
- Wenneck, Price, Garner. Room 3.
- 858
- 00:52:34,401 --> 00:52:36,652
- Okay, Trace, I gotta go.
- We'll talk to you later.
- 859
- 00:52:36,820 --> 00:52:38,154
- Uh...
- 860
- 00:52:40,198 --> 00:52:42,449
- - Come on, chop-chop.
- - Okay, spin around.
- 861
- 00:52:43,910 --> 00:52:44,994
- - That's it.
- - Goddamn it.
- 862
- 00:52:45,162 --> 00:52:47,580
- - Wait a second.
- - I'll go over. I'll go over.
- 863
- 00:52:47,747 --> 00:52:49,665
- - Stop pulling.
- - Can you just...? Hold on.
- 864
- 00:52:49,833 --> 00:52:52,585
- We got it. Alan, just relax.
- And then just... There we go.
- 865
- 00:52:52,752 --> 00:52:54,128
- Good.
- 866
- 00:53:00,135 --> 00:53:01,802
- Gentlemen.
- 867
- 00:53:01,970 --> 00:53:04,889
- We've got some good news,
- and we've got some bad news.
- 868
- 00:53:05,056 --> 00:53:06,765
- The good news is
- we found your Mercedes.
- 869
- 00:53:08,268 --> 00:53:09,852
- - That's great news.
- - That's great. See?
- 870
- 00:53:10,020 --> 00:53:14,440
- Yeah, it's over at impound right now.
- We picked it up at 5 a.m. This morning...
- 871
- 00:53:14,608 --> 00:53:16,734
- ...parked in the middle
- of Las Vegas Boulevard.
- 872
- 00:53:17,444 --> 00:53:21,697
- - In the middle. That's weird.
- - Yeah, that is weird.
- 873
- 00:53:21,865 --> 00:53:22,948
- There was also a note.
- 874
- 00:53:23,783 --> 00:53:28,913
- It says, uh, "Couldn't find a meter,
- but here's 4 bucks."
- 875
- 00:53:29,831 --> 00:53:31,957
- The bad news is...
- 876
- 00:53:32,125 --> 00:53:34,919
- ...we can't get you in front of a judge
- until Monday morning.
- 877
- 00:53:35,795 --> 00:53:39,298
- Oh, no, uh, officer, that's just impossible.
- 878
- 00:53:39,466 --> 00:53:41,759
- No, we need to be in L.A. Tomorrow
- for a wedding.
- 879
- 00:53:41,927 --> 00:53:46,847
- - You stole a police car.
- - We didn't steal anything. Um, we found it.
- 880
- 00:53:47,015 --> 00:53:50,100
- Yeah, if anything, we deserve a reward
- or something, like a trophy.
- 881
- 00:53:50,936 --> 00:53:54,146
- - I see assholes like you every day.
- - Every fucking day.
- 882
- 00:53:54,314 --> 00:53:56,190
- "Let's go to Vegas,
- we'll all get drunk and laid!
- 883
- 00:53:56,358 --> 00:53:58,484
- - Yeah. Whoo! Woo-hoo.
- - Woo-hoo.
- 884
- 00:53:58,652 --> 00:54:01,654
- Let's steal a cop car,
- because it'd be really fucking funny."
- 885
- 00:54:01,821 --> 00:54:04,073
- Think you gonna get away with it?
- Not up in here.
- 886
- 00:54:04,241 --> 00:54:06,325
- - Not up in here!
- - Oh.
- 887
- 00:54:06,493 --> 00:54:08,369
- Uh...
- 888
- 00:54:09,454 --> 00:54:10,913
- Sir...
- 889
- 00:54:11,289 --> 00:54:12,665
- ...if I may, um...
- 890
- 00:54:12,832 --> 00:54:15,501
- ...l'm assuming that that squad car
- belongs to one of you.
- 891
- 00:54:15,669 --> 00:54:17,378
- - Yeah.
- - Yeah.
- 892
- 00:54:17,545 --> 00:54:19,922
- Look, I'm not a cop.
- 893
- 00:54:20,090 --> 00:54:23,175
- I'm no hero. I'm a schoolteacher.
- 894
- 00:54:24,177 --> 00:54:27,471
- But if one of my kids went missing
- on a field trip...
- 895
- 00:54:28,431 --> 00:54:30,099
- ...that would look really bad on me.
- 896
- 00:54:31,393 --> 00:54:34,311
- - What are you getting at?
- - Yeah, Phil, what are you getting at?
- 897
- 00:54:34,479 --> 00:54:37,856
- No one wants to look bad.
- We gotta get to a wedding...
- 898
- 00:54:38,024 --> 00:54:40,276
- ...and you guys don't need people
- talking about...
- 899
- 00:54:40,443 --> 00:54:44,488
- ...how some obnoxious tourists borrowed
- your squad car last night.
- 900
- 00:54:44,656 --> 00:54:47,574
- But look, the point is,
- I think we can work out a deal.
- 901
- 00:54:47,742 --> 00:54:49,660
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Discreetly of course,</font> ma'am.
- 902
- 00:54:50,662 --> 00:54:51,912
- <font color="#FFFFFF">What do you say?</font>
- 903
- 00:55:01,298 --> 00:55:02,631
- Let me <font color="#FFFFFF">ask you a question:</font>
- 904
- 00:55:02,799 --> 00:55:08,387
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Do, uh, any of you gentlemen
- have a heart condition or anything like that?</font>
- 905
- 00:55:08,638 --> 00:55:10,889
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Uh, no.</font>
- 906
- 00:55:11,057 --> 00:55:13,642
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Okay, kids,
- you're in for a real treat today.</font>
- 907
- 00:55:13,810 --> 00:55:16,729
- <font color="#FFFFFF">These gentlemen have kindly volunteered
- to demonstrate...</font>
- 908
- 00:55:16,896 --> 00:55:19,648
- ...<font color="#FFFFFF">how a stun gun is used
- to subdue a suspect.</font>
- 909
- 00:55:19,816 --> 00:55:20,899
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Ooh!</font>
- 910
- 00:55:21,067 --> 00:55:22,526
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- That's right.
- - Wait a sec. What?</font>
- 911
- 00:55:22,694 --> 00:55:25,696
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Now, there's two ways to use a stun gun.
- Up close and personal.</font>
- 912
- 00:55:28,658 --> 00:55:31,660
- - What the fuck?
- - Or you can shoot it from a distance.
- 913
- 00:55:31,828 --> 00:55:35,164
- Do I have any volunteers? You wanna
- come up here and do some shooting? Huh?
- 914
- 00:55:35,332 --> 00:55:38,667
- All right, how about you, young lady?
- Come on up here. All right.
- 915
- 00:55:38,835 --> 00:55:40,627
- Let's go, handsome, come on.
- 916
- 00:55:40,795 --> 00:55:43,672
- Not you, fat Jesus, slide it on back.
- You, pretty boy.
- 917
- 00:55:44,257 --> 00:55:46,342
- - Fat Jesus.
- - All right, now, it's real simple.
- 918
- 00:55:46,509 --> 00:55:49,261
- All you gotta do is point, aim and shoot.
- 919
- 00:55:49,429 --> 00:55:50,846
- All right?
- 920
- 00:55:51,014 --> 00:55:54,099
- Okay, look.
- You don't really wanna do this.
- 921
- 00:55:54,267 --> 00:55:56,560
- You can do this. Just focus.
- 922
- 00:55:56,728 --> 00:55:59,229
- Don't listen to this maniac.
- Let's think this through.
- 923
- 00:55:59,397 --> 00:56:00,731
- Finish him!
- 924
- 00:56:00,899 --> 00:56:03,442
- - Oh, fuck.
- - Yeah!
- 925
- 00:56:04,986 --> 00:56:07,112
- Right in the nuts! That was beautiful.
- 926
- 00:56:08,740 --> 00:56:12,534
- - Well done. Give her a hand, everybody.
- - Good job. Good job.
- 927
- 00:56:13,787 --> 00:56:16,747
- Good job. Well done. Good job.
- That was great.
- 928
- 00:56:17,290 --> 00:56:21,085
- Good. Hey, we got one more charge left.
- Anybody wanna do some shooting up here?
- 929
- 00:56:23,088 --> 00:56:25,005
- How about you, big man?
- Come on up here.
- 930
- 00:56:41,981 --> 00:56:46,110
- Okay, same instructions.
- Just point, aim and shoot.
- 931
- 00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:51,782
- There you go. That's the stuff.
- 932
- 00:56:51,950 --> 00:56:53,158
- I like the intensity.
- 933
- 00:56:54,077 --> 00:56:55,911
- Eye of the tiger. Good.
- 934
- 00:56:56,079 --> 00:57:00,124
- You're holding 50,000 volts, little man.
- Don't be afraid to ride the lightning.
- 935
- 00:57:03,670 --> 00:57:06,672
- In the face! In the face!
- 936
- 00:57:08,466 --> 00:57:11,301
- Oh, he's still up. He's still up.
- 937
- 00:57:11,469 --> 00:57:13,011
- - Aah!
- - No.
- 938
- 00:57:13,179 --> 00:57:14,805
- All right, everybody relax, take it easy.
- 939
- 00:57:15,348 --> 00:57:18,976
- We've seen it before.
- He just needs a little extra charge.
- 940
- 00:57:19,144 --> 00:57:20,561
- There we go.
- 941
- 00:57:22,355 --> 00:57:25,065
- Some of these big boys,
- you gotta give them two shots.
- 942
- 00:57:25,233 --> 00:57:29,194
- All right, kids, who wants to get their
- fingerprints done, huh? Come on, let's go.
- 943
- 00:57:30,321 --> 00:57:33,407
- Fuck those guys, you hear me?
- 944
- 00:57:33,575 --> 00:57:36,660
- That was bullshit.
- I'm telling everybody we stole a cop car.
- 945
- 00:57:36,828 --> 00:57:39,705
- - They let us go, who cares?
- - I care!
- 946
- 00:57:39,873 --> 00:57:44,751
- You can't just do that. You can't just
- tase people because you think it's funny.
- 947
- 00:57:44,919 --> 00:57:47,045
- That's police brutality.
- 948
- 00:57:50,550 --> 00:57:53,051
- I'm getting a soda.
- Do you guys want anything?
- 949
- 00:57:53,219 --> 00:57:54,553
- No.
- 950
- 00:57:58,141 --> 00:58:01,727
- My man doesn't shut up. Jesus Christ.
- 951
- 00:58:03,396 --> 00:58:05,981
- Alan, you okay?
- 952
- 00:58:06,941 --> 00:58:08,984
- I'm just worried.
- 953
- 00:58:09,777 --> 00:58:12,070
- What if something happened to Doug?
- Something bad.
- 954
- 00:58:12,238 --> 00:58:13,864
- Come on, you can't think like that.
- 955
- 00:58:14,449 --> 00:58:16,283
- I mean, what if he's dead?
- 956
- 00:58:16,451 --> 00:58:20,162
- I can't afford to lose anybody
- close to me again. It hurts too much.
- 957
- 00:58:20,788 --> 00:58:23,916
- - I was so upset when my grandpa died.
- - Oh, I'm s... How'd he die?
- 958
- 00:58:24,751 --> 00:58:27,544
- - World War II.
- - Died in battle?
- 959
- 00:58:27,712 --> 00:58:31,089
- No, he was skiing in Vermont.
- It was just during World War II.
- 960
- 00:58:31,883 --> 00:58:33,300
- Alan...
- 961
- 00:58:33,927 --> 00:58:36,094
- ...Doug is fine.
- - Well, why hasn't he called?
- 962
- 00:58:36,262 --> 00:58:38,722
- I don't know,
- but we're gonna figure it out.
- 963
- 00:58:39,307 --> 00:58:43,352
- I'll tell you another thing,
- 6-1 odds our car is beat to shit.
- 964
- 00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:44,561
- Stu, not now.
- 965
- 00:58:44,729 --> 00:58:47,564
- No, how much do you wanna bet
- it's fucked beyond recognition?
- 966
- 00:58:47,732 --> 00:58:51,777
- That's enough. Alan's seriously worried,
- okay? Let's not freak him out any more.
- 967
- 00:58:55,448 --> 00:58:56,823
- Sorry, Alan.
- 968
- 00:58:56,991 --> 00:58:58,242
- You know what?
- 969
- 00:58:58,409 --> 00:59:02,120
- We'll search the car for clues
- and everything's gonna be okay.
- 970
- 00:59:03,790 --> 00:59:05,791
- Oh, shit. I can't watch.
- Just tell me what it looks like.
- 971
- 00:59:07,627 --> 00:59:10,128
- Not looking. Not looking.
- 972
- 00:59:11,589 --> 00:59:14,633
- - Wow. All right.
- - Oh, thank God.
- 973
- 00:59:14,801 --> 00:59:16,468
- You see?
- 974
- 00:59:17,136 --> 00:59:18,971
- It's gonna be all right.
- 975
- 00:59:25,478 --> 00:59:27,980
- - Anything?
- - Hmm, I got a cigar.
- 976
- 00:59:28,147 --> 00:59:31,066
- Oh, I found, uh...
- These are some black shoes.
- 977
- 00:59:31,234 --> 00:59:33,235
- - They women's shoes?
- - I don't know.
- 978
- 00:59:34,654 --> 00:59:37,906
- - Whose are those?
- - I don't know. It's a men's size 6.
- 979
- 00:59:38,074 --> 00:59:40,659
- - That's weird.
- - What is this, a snakeskin?
- 980
- 00:59:40,827 --> 00:59:42,327
- Oh, come on! Ew!
- 981
- 00:59:42,495 --> 00:59:45,163
- - That's a used condom, Alan.
- - Oh, God. Blech!
- 982
- 00:59:45,331 --> 00:59:47,457
- - Get it out of the car.
- - Gross, it's wet.
- 983
- 00:59:47,625 --> 00:59:50,002
- - I don't want the thing.
- - Hey! Come on.
- 984
- 00:59:50,169 --> 00:59:54,339
- I got jizz on me. Jesus Christ, guys!
- 985
- 00:59:54,507 --> 00:59:57,175
- - Get it out.
- - Fuck!
- 986
- 00:59:57,552 --> 00:59:59,344
- Oh, my God.
- 987
- 00:59:59,846 --> 01:00:03,640
- All right, what the fuck, man?
- We gotta get this shit together, guys!
- 988
- 01:00:06,352 --> 01:00:07,853
- What was that?
- 989
- 01:00:08,354 --> 01:00:09,354
- It's in the trunk.
- 990
- 01:00:10,231 --> 01:00:13,275
- - Doug's in the trunk.
- - Oh, fuck! Holy shit!
- 991
- 01:00:13,443 --> 01:00:15,360
- Holy shit!
- 992
- 01:00:15,528 --> 01:00:17,654
- - Open it! Open it! Open it!
- - Okay, okay, okay.
- 993
- 01:00:17,822 --> 01:00:19,531
- Okay, okay, okay.
- 994
- 01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:23,076
- Oh God!
- 995
- 01:00:24,245 --> 01:00:26,371
- Please! Please! Please stop!
- 996
- 01:00:34,213 --> 01:00:36,715
- Whoa. I'm with you, I'm with you!
- 997
- 01:00:36,883 --> 01:00:39,843
- - You gonna fuck on me?
- - Nobody's gonna fuck on you!
- 998
- 01:00:40,011 --> 01:00:44,389
- We're on your side. I hate Godzilla!
- I hate him too. I hate him!
- 999
- 01:00:44,557 --> 01:00:47,517
- He destroys cities! Please!
- 1000
- 01:00:47,685 --> 01:00:50,520
- This isn't your fault.
- I'll get you some pants.
- 1001
- 01:00:56,027 --> 01:00:58,737
- What the fuck was that?
- 1002
- 01:01:00,073 --> 01:01:04,284
- I have internal bleeding.
- Somebody call 911.
- 1003
- 01:01:04,452 --> 01:01:07,204
- That was some fucked up shit.
- 1004
- 01:01:07,372 --> 01:01:11,041
- Who was that guy? He was so mean.
- 1005
- 01:01:12,919 --> 01:01:15,462
- Guys, there's something
- I need to tell you.
- 1006
- 01:01:16,589 --> 01:01:20,509
- Last night on the roof,
- before we went out...
- 1007
- 01:01:21,719 --> 01:01:24,471
- ...I slipped something
- in our JƤgermeister.
- 1008
- 01:01:25,306 --> 01:01:28,100
- - What?
- - I'm sorry, I fudged up, guys.
- 1009
- 01:01:29,352 --> 01:01:32,813
- - You drugged us?
- - No, I didn't drug you.
- 1010
- 01:01:32,980 --> 01:01:35,273
- I was told it was ecstasy.
- 1011
- 01:01:35,441 --> 01:01:37,734
- Well, who told you it was ecstasy?
- 1012
- 01:01:37,902 --> 01:01:39,945
- The guy I bought it from
- at the liquor store.
- 1013
- 01:01:40,113 --> 01:01:41,780
- Why would you give us ecstasy?
- 1014
- 01:01:41,948 --> 01:01:45,450
- I wanted everybody to have a good time
- and I knew you guys wouldn't take it.
- 1015
- 01:01:45,618 --> 01:01:48,620
- It was just one hit each.
- I used to do three hits a night.
- 1016
- 01:01:49,580 --> 01:01:52,916
- But it wasn't ecstasy, Alan,
- it was roofies!
- 1017
- 01:01:53,084 --> 01:01:54,543
- You think I knew that, Stu?
- 1018
- 01:01:55,044 --> 01:01:57,963
- The guy I bought it from
- seemed like a real straight shooter.
- 1019
- 01:01:58,131 --> 01:02:01,091
- You mean the drug dealer at the liquor store
- wasn't a good guy?
- 1020
- 01:02:01,259 --> 01:02:02,300
- Let's just calm down.
- 1021
- 01:02:02,468 --> 01:02:07,931
- You fucking calm down! He drugged us.
- I lost a tooth. I married a whore.
- 1022
- 01:02:08,099 --> 01:02:12,060
- - How dare you! She's a nice lady.
- - You are such a fucking moron.
- 1023
- 01:02:12,228 --> 01:02:15,063
- - Your language is offensive.
- - Fuck you!
- 1024
- 01:02:15,231 --> 01:02:17,649
- All right,
- let's just take a deep breath, okay?
- 1025
- 01:02:18,443 --> 01:02:19,901
- Seriously, this is a good thing.
- 1026
- 01:02:20,069 --> 01:02:23,989
- At least it's not some stranger who
- drugged us for God knows what reason.
- 1027
- 01:02:24,157 --> 01:02:27,909
- Yeah, you're right, Phil,
- it's totally a good thing.
- 1028
- 01:02:28,077 --> 01:02:30,412
- We're so much better off now.
- 1029
- 01:02:30,580 --> 01:02:34,249
- Here's something
- I would like to remind you two of:
- 1030
- 01:02:34,417 --> 01:02:38,712
- Our best friend Doug is probably
- facedown in a ditch right now...
- 1031
- 01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:41,840
- ...with a meth-head butt-fucking
- his corpse.
- 1032
- 01:02:42,008 --> 01:02:44,134
- - That's highly unlikely.
- - It's true.
- 1033
- 01:02:44,302 --> 01:02:48,013
- Does not help.
- All right, let's get our shit together, guys.
- 1034
- 01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:51,433
- Let's go back to the hotel,
- and I'm gonna make a couple calls.
- 1035
- 01:02:51,601 --> 01:02:53,602
- Maybe Doug's back there.
- Maybe he's asleep.
- 1036
- 01:02:53,770 --> 01:02:55,854
- Come on. Let's go.
- 1037
- 01:02:56,022 --> 01:03:00,567
- - Stu? Little help?
- - Shut up.
- 1038
- 01:03:03,404 --> 01:03:06,281
- - Ow.
- - Oh, God. Oh, God, are you okay?
- 1039
- 01:03:06,449 --> 01:03:08,992
- - Yeah, I'm fine.
- - Alan, I'm sorry.
- 1040
- 01:03:19,420 --> 01:03:21,421
- Wait, guys. Guys.
- 1041
- 01:03:21,589 --> 01:03:23,465
- What about the tiger?
- What if he got out?
- 1042
- 01:03:23,633 --> 01:03:28,303
- Oh, fuck. I keep forgetting
- about the goddamn tiger.
- 1043
- 01:03:28,721 --> 01:03:30,222
- How the fuck did he get in there?
- 1044
- 01:03:30,681 --> 01:03:35,811
- - I don't know, because I don't remember.
- - Shh. Stu. Stu, keep it down.
- 1045
- 01:03:35,978 --> 01:03:39,397
- Because one of the, uh, side effects of, uh,
- roofies is memory loss.
- 1046
- 01:03:40,900 --> 01:03:43,735
- You are literally too stupid to insult.
- 1047
- 01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:46,780
- - Thank you.
- - Hey.
- 1048
- 01:03:51,410 --> 01:03:53,453
- Hey, come on.
- 1049
- 01:03:56,582 --> 01:03:58,708
- Did we leave the music on?
- 1050
- 01:03:59,001 --> 01:04:00,377
- Hey. Shh.
- 1051
- 01:04:02,213 --> 01:04:04,798
- Don't make any sudden movements.
- 1052
- 01:04:06,342 --> 01:04:07,384
- - Unh. Whoa!
- - Aah!
- 1053
- 01:04:07,552 --> 01:04:09,344
- - Who the hell are you?
- - No, who are you?
- 1054
- 01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:10,595
- Quiet, quiet.
- 1055
- 01:04:14,350 --> 01:04:15,767
- Mike Tyson?
- 1056
- 01:04:15,935 --> 01:04:19,771
- Shh. This is my favorite part
- coming up right now.
- 1057
- 01:04:28,447 --> 01:04:29,531
- Need a chorus line, guys.
- 1058
- 01:04:38,291 --> 01:04:39,583
- One more time, guys.
- 1059
- 01:04:41,794 --> 01:04:43,044
- Oh, Jesus!
- 1060
- 01:04:44,255 --> 01:04:45,547
- Oh, fuck!
- 1061
- 01:04:46,299 --> 01:04:47,465
- Why did you do that?
- 1062
- 01:04:48,384 --> 01:04:51,970
- Mr. Tyson would like to know
- why is his tiger in your bathroom.
- 1063
- 01:04:52,138 --> 01:04:54,472
- Hold on,
- that was completely unnecessary.
- 1064
- 01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:57,183
- I'm a huge fan.
- When you knocked out Holmes, that was...
- 1065
- 01:04:57,351 --> 01:04:59,144
- Explain.
- 1066
- 01:04:59,645 --> 01:05:03,356
- All right, look, we were drugged last night.
- We have no memory of what happened.
- 1067
- 01:05:03,524 --> 01:05:04,566
- It's true.
- 1068
- 01:05:04,734 --> 01:05:08,194
- We got in all kinds of trouble last night
- and now we can't find our friend.
- 1069
- 01:05:08,362 --> 01:05:11,323
- If you wanna kill us,
- go ahead because I don't care anymore.
- 1070
- 01:05:11,490 --> 01:05:13,491
- - What are you talking about?
- - I don't care.
- 1071
- 01:05:13,659 --> 01:05:16,077
- Why the fuck
- would you wanna steal his tiger?
- 1072
- 01:05:16,245 --> 01:05:19,289
- We tend to do dumb shit
- when we're fucked up.
- 1073
- 01:05:19,457 --> 01:05:23,168
- - I don't believe these guys, man.
- - Wait, how did you guys find us?
- 1074
- 01:05:23,336 --> 01:05:27,130
- One of you dropped your jacket.
- Found it in the tigers' cage this morning.
- 1075
- 01:05:27,298 --> 01:05:28,632
- That's Doug's.
- 1076
- 01:05:28,799 --> 01:05:31,968
- Yeah, Doug.
- His wallet and his room key is in there.
- 1077
- 01:05:32,136 --> 01:05:34,971
- - No, that's our missing friend.
- - I don't give a fuck.
- 1078
- 01:05:35,139 --> 01:05:37,223
- - Did you guys see him?
- - I was fast asleep.
- 1079
- 01:05:37,391 --> 01:05:40,352
- Because if he was up, this
- wouldn't have gone down so smoothly.
- 1080
- 01:05:40,519 --> 01:05:42,479
- Maybe one of the tigers
- ate his ass like Omar.
- 1081
- 01:05:43,022 --> 01:05:44,022
- Respect.
- 1082
- 01:05:44,190 --> 01:05:45,315
- Wha... What happened to Omar?
- 1083
- 01:05:45,483 --> 01:05:47,859
- Oh, don't worry about Omar,
- he's not with us no more.
- 1084
- 01:05:48,027 --> 01:05:50,278
- Okay, I know this is asking a lot...
- 1085
- 01:05:50,446 --> 01:05:53,406
- ...but do you think we could
- go to your house and look around...
- 1086
- 01:05:53,574 --> 01:05:55,283
- ...see if there's any clues?
- 1087
- 01:05:55,451 --> 01:05:59,663
- Absolutely. How else you think
- we're gonna get the tiger back anyway?
- 1088
- 01:05:59,830 --> 01:06:02,791
- - Come on, champ.
- - I'm sorry?
- 1089
- 01:06:03,376 --> 01:06:07,379
- We're not gonna put it in the Bentley.
- You brought it here, you bring it back.
- 1090
- 01:06:07,546 --> 01:06:10,006
- What you think, about 40 minutes?
- 1091
- 01:06:10,424 --> 01:06:12,926
- Don't make me come back for him.
- 1092
- 01:06:16,639 --> 01:06:19,683
- - That was Mike Tyson.
- - Yeah, no shit that was Mike Tyson.
- 1093
- 01:06:19,850 --> 01:06:21,559
- I'm just saying, he's still got it.
- 1094
- 01:06:22,895 --> 01:06:24,396
- Alan.
- 1095
- 01:06:24,563 --> 01:06:25,605
- Bud, are you okay?
- 1096
- 01:06:25,773 --> 01:06:27,190
- - Oh, my God.
- - Shit!
- 1097
- 01:06:27,358 --> 01:06:28,650
- Fuck, where'd he get him?
- 1098
- 01:06:28,818 --> 01:06:29,859
- Hey.
- 1099
- 01:06:35,116 --> 01:06:36,658
- This does not seem fair.
- 1100
- 01:06:37,743 --> 01:06:40,745
- It's Rock, Paper, Scissors.
- There's nothing more fair.
- 1101
- 01:06:40,913 --> 01:06:44,207
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- Alan should do it.
- - Alan took a punch from Mike Tyson.</font>
- 1102
- 01:06:44,375 --> 01:06:46,418
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Come on. For Doug.</font>
- 1103
- 01:06:46,585 --> 01:06:49,838
- Why are<font color="#FFFFFF"> you peppering </font>the steak?
- You don't know if tigers like pepper.
- 1104
- 01:06:50,006 --> 01:06:53,133
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon.</font>
- 1105
- 01:06:55,594 --> 01:06:58,388
- Phil, <font color="#FFFFFF">just do it. You</font> should do it.
- 1106
- 01:06:58,556 --> 01:07:01,850
- <font color="#FFFFFF">I would, but you lost.
- It wouldn't be right.</font>
- 1107
- 01:07:02,018 --> 01:07:04,769
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Okay, I jammed five roofies in there.</font>
- 1108
- 01:07:04,937 --> 01:07:07,397
- Just<font color="#FFFFFF"> go in there and throw </font>it in to him.
- 1109
- 01:07:08,357 --> 01:07:09,941
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Fine.</font>
- 1110
- 01:07:11,110 --> 01:07:12,694
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Make sure he eats the whole thing.</font>
- 1111
- 01:07:18,451 --> 01:07:19,951
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Fuck.</font>
- 1112
- 01:07:20,119 --> 01:07:21,911
- Oh, fuck.
- 1113
- 01:07:24,707 --> 01:07:26,499
- Hey, kitty.
- 1114
- 01:07:27,043 --> 01:07:31,046
- Hey, sweetie, it's okay.
- I got a little snack for you.
- 1115
- 01:07:31,213 --> 01:07:33,798
- Real important that you eat this, okay?
- 1116
- 01:07:34,717 --> 01:07:36,968
- Yeah, just have a little...
- 1117
- 01:07:40,306 --> 01:07:41,347
- Shit!
- 1118
- 01:07:44,018 --> 01:07:45,185
- What do we do now?
- 1119
- 01:07:46,062 --> 01:07:47,729
- We wait.
- 1120
- 01:07:57,573 --> 01:08:00,742
- What do tigers dream of
- 1121
- 01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:04,496
- When they take a little tiger snooze?
- 1122
- 01:08:04,663 --> 01:08:07,874
- Do they dream of mauling zebras
- 1123
- 01:08:08,042 --> 01:08:12,170
- Or Halle Berry in her catwoman suit?
- 1124
- 01:08:12,338 --> 01:08:15,173
- Don't you worry your pretty striped head
- 1125
- 01:08:15,341 --> 01:08:19,219
- We're gonna get you back to Tyson
- And your cozy tiger bed
- 1126
- 01:08:19,386 --> 01:08:22,555
- And then we're gonna find
- Our best friend Doug
- 1127
- 01:08:22,723 --> 01:08:26,351
- And then we're gonna give him
- A best-friend hug
- 1128
- 01:08:26,519 --> 01:08:28,103
- Doug
- 1129
- 01:08:28,270 --> 01:08:30,063
- Doug
- 1130
- 01:08:30,231 --> 01:08:34,734
- Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug
- 1131
- 01:08:34,902 --> 01:08:40,031
- But if he's been murdered
- By crystal-meth tweakers
- 1132
- 01:08:41,867 --> 01:08:44,828
- Well, then we're shit out of luck
- 1133
- 01:08:50,334 --> 01:08:52,710
- By the way, we're all gonna die.
- 1134
- 01:08:57,049 --> 01:08:58,466
- Wait.
- 1135
- 01:09:02,221 --> 01:09:03,388
- - Oh, God.
- - Watch it!
- 1136
- 01:09:03,556 --> 01:09:06,891
- His nose. That's his nose.
- 1137
- 01:09:11,856 --> 01:09:14,566
- Please don't stop. Please don't stop.
- 1138
- 01:09:15,901 --> 01:09:18,236
- Please don't... Goddamn it.
- 1139
- 01:09:18,571 --> 01:09:21,739
- I'm gonna beat you! Ha-ha-ha.
- 1140
- 01:09:22,491 --> 01:09:23,783
- Oh... He won again.
- 1141
- 01:09:26,245 --> 01:09:30,540
- - Hey, fellas. Rough night?
- Mm-hm.
- 1142
- 01:09:30,708 --> 01:09:32,250
- Sweetie, stay close to Mama.
- 1143
- 01:09:34,295 --> 01:09:36,754
- - What's this?
- - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- 1144
- 01:09:36,922 --> 01:09:39,924
- Take it easy, little man.
- You don't wanna be touching that.
- 1145
- 01:09:40,259 --> 01:09:42,844
- No, partner, that's not your property.
- 1146
- 01:09:46,515 --> 01:09:48,516
- So, what do you guys got under there?
- 1147
- 01:09:48,684 --> 01:09:51,561
- Just a whole bunch of
- "mind your own business."
- 1148
- 01:09:51,937 --> 01:09:54,105
- - Easy, Phil.
- - He's correct. My fault.
- 1149
- 01:09:54,565 --> 01:09:56,441
- - You okay?
- - Aren't we riding an elevator?
- 1150
- 01:09:56,609 --> 01:09:59,444
- Why, is this Jeopardy?
- What the fuck is this bullshit?
- 1151
- 01:09:59,612 --> 01:10:03,114
- - Please, with the language.
- - Yes.
- 1152
- 01:10:04,158 --> 01:10:06,117
- - I fully agree.
- - Oh.
- 1153
- 01:10:14,293 --> 01:10:16,961
- Hey, guys, when's the next
- Halley's comet?
- 1154
- 01:10:17,922 --> 01:10:20,924
- - Who cares, man?
- - Do you know, Stu?
- 1155
- 01:10:21,467 --> 01:10:24,636
- I don't think it's for, like,
- another 60 years or something.
- 1156
- 01:10:24,803 --> 01:10:27,764
- - But it's not tonight, right?
- - No, I don't think so.
- 1157
- 01:10:27,932 --> 01:10:29,849
- But you don't know for sure?
- 1158
- 01:10:30,017 --> 01:10:31,643
- No.
- 1159
- 01:10:31,810 --> 01:10:34,395
- I got this cousin who saw one.
- He said it blew his mind.
- 1160
- 01:10:34,563 --> 01:10:37,482
- I wanna make sure I never, ever miss out
- on a Halley's Comet.
- 1161
- 01:10:37,650 --> 01:10:39,943
- So if you guys
- know if there's gonna be one...
- 1162
- 01:10:40,110 --> 01:10:41,152
- Oh, fuck!
- 1163
- 01:11:01,257 --> 01:11:02,507
- - Oh, my God!
- - Fuck it!
- 1164
- 01:11:03,133 --> 01:11:05,510
- Stu! Stu, it got me! Stu!
- 1165
- 01:11:05,678 --> 01:11:08,137
- You got clawed! You're bleeding!
- 1166
- 01:11:10,599 --> 01:11:12,267
- - Oh.
- - I'm panicking.
- 1167
- 01:11:12,434 --> 01:11:14,060
- - Aah!
- - Oh, my God.
- 1168
- 01:11:14,561 --> 01:11:16,771
- Okay. Okay, okay. Wait, hold on.
- 1169
- 01:11:26,198 --> 01:11:28,700
- - I can't do it.
- - Get your fucking hand back in there...
- 1170
- 01:11:28,867 --> 01:11:30,702
- ...and steer the car.
- - I'm too nervous.
- 1171
- 01:11:30,869 --> 01:11:33,579
- Alan. We need you, buddy.
- This is your time to shine, okay?
- 1172
- 01:11:33,747 --> 01:11:35,707
- Okay, yeah. Whew.
- 1173
- 01:11:36,208 --> 01:11:37,208
- Daddy's gonna kill me.
- 1174
- 01:11:37,376 --> 01:11:39,043
- - That's it.
- - That's good.
- 1175
- 01:11:39,211 --> 01:11:41,129
- Keep it straight.
- 1176
- 01:11:50,514 --> 01:11:52,223
- - You're late.
- - Whatever, man.
- 1177
- 01:11:52,391 --> 01:11:54,183
- We had to push it the last mile.
- 1178
- 01:11:54,351 --> 01:11:57,186
- Come on in. Mike's got something
- he wants to show you.
- 1179
- 01:12:02,359 --> 01:12:05,486
- That thing's out of control, man.
- Seriously, you gotta put it down.
- 1180
- 01:12:07,823 --> 01:12:10,742
- When we got back,
- we took a look at the security cameras.
- 1181
- 01:12:10,909 --> 01:12:12,035
- Great.
- 1182
- 01:12:14,455 --> 01:12:16,706
- This is how you walk.
- This is how you walk.
- 1183
- 01:12:16,874 --> 01:12:20,251
- - Oh, it's Doug.
- - Oh, thank God he's alive.
- 1184
- 01:12:20,419 --> 01:12:23,546
- That's our buddy.
- That's who we've been missing.
- 1185
- 01:12:23,714 --> 01:12:24,964
- We're all best friends.
- 1186
- 01:12:25,132 --> 01:12:27,759
- Why don't you just pay attention?
- I don't have all night.
- 1187
- 01:12:27,926 --> 01:12:29,260
- Yeah, of course. Of course.
- 1188
- 01:12:30,679 --> 01:12:34,015
- - What are you doing?
- - Hey, guys. Check it out. Watch this.
- 1189
- 01:12:34,183 --> 01:12:37,769
- That's me, I'm on TV.
- I've never been on TV before.
- 1190
- 01:12:37,936 --> 01:12:39,020
- What are you doing, man?
- 1191
- 01:12:39,188 --> 01:12:41,439
- Really? Really, Alan?
- 1192
- 01:12:42,024 --> 01:12:43,232
- You got a fire hose, man?
- 1193
- 01:12:45,110 --> 01:12:46,194
- Yeah, I was, uh...
- 1194
- 01:12:48,030 --> 01:12:50,990
- You're gonna overflow the pool, man.
- 1195
- 01:12:51,992 --> 01:12:55,078
- - Maybe... Should I wait outside?
- - I think that's a good idea, Alan.
- 1196
- 01:12:55,287 --> 01:12:56,412
- Yeah.
- 1197
- 01:12:58,123 --> 01:13:00,083
- Don't touch anything out there, either.
- 1198
- 01:13:00,751 --> 01:13:04,379
- You know what? He's not our good fr...
- We don't know him that well.
- 1199
- 01:13:06,548 --> 01:13:09,300
- Come on. Come on, come on.
- 1200
- 01:13:09,718 --> 01:13:11,761
- By the way,
- where you get that cop car from?
- 1201
- 01:13:11,929 --> 01:13:14,764
- We, uh, stole it from
- these dumb-ass cops.
- 1202
- 01:13:14,932 --> 01:13:16,099
- Nice.
- 1203
- 01:13:18,727 --> 01:13:21,312
- High five that one.
- 1204
- 01:13:21,480 --> 01:13:23,272
- Yeah, that's nice.
- 1205
- 01:13:23,440 --> 01:13:24,899
- You know, I just have to say...
- 1206
- 01:13:25,067 --> 01:13:28,569
- ...I have never seen a more beautiful,
- elegant, just regal creature.
- 1207
- 01:13:28,737 --> 01:13:31,239
- Check it out. Stu. Stu.
- Fuck this tiger.
- 1208
- 01:13:31,407 --> 01:13:34,826
- - Oh, my God. That's awful.
- - Oh, man.
- 1209
- 01:13:36,203 --> 01:13:38,996
- - Oh, shit.
- - Who does shit like that, man?
- 1210
- 01:13:39,873 --> 01:13:43,835
- Someone who has a lot of issues, obviously.
- I'm a sick man.
- 1211
- 01:13:44,253 --> 01:13:46,212
- Oh, my God.
- 1212
- 01:13:47,464 --> 01:13:48,631
- That's all we got.
- 1213
- 01:13:49,383 --> 01:13:52,427
- This was hugely helpful.
- 1214
- 01:13:52,594 --> 01:13:55,513
- Really. Because now we know
- that our buddy Doug...
- 1215
- 01:13:55,681 --> 01:13:58,599
- ...was with us at 3:30, totally alive.
- 1216
- 01:13:59,059 --> 01:14:04,313
- Thanks again, champ. And, uh, again,
- we are so sorry we stole your tiger.
- 1217
- 01:14:04,481 --> 01:14:05,690
- Don't worry about it, man.
- 1218
- 01:14:05,858 --> 01:14:08,401
- Like you said, we all do dumb shit
- when we're fucked up.
- 1219
- 01:14:10,863 --> 01:14:13,698
- - I told you he'd get it.
- - I did say that.
- 1220
- 01:14:17,536 --> 01:14:20,037
- You know, everyone says
- Mike Tyson is such a badass...
- 1221
- 01:14:20,205 --> 01:14:22,874
- ...but I think he's kind of a sweetheart.
- 1222
- 01:14:23,041 --> 01:14:24,959
- I think he's mean.
- 1223
- 01:14:25,127 --> 01:14:28,463
- All right. I think it's officially time
- we call Tracy.
- 1224
- 01:14:28,630 --> 01:14:32,550
- Hallelujah. Finally, Phil says something
- that makes sense.
- 1225
- 01:14:32,718 --> 01:14:35,678
- We don't have much of a choice.
- And maybe she's heard from Doug.
- 1226
- 01:14:35,846 --> 01:14:37,847
- That's what I been saying this whole time.
- 1227
- 01:14:38,974 --> 01:14:42,351
- We just need to be completely honest.
- We need to tell her everything.
- 1228
- 01:14:43,937 --> 01:14:47,023
- We don't have to tell her everything.
- We can leave out the stuff...
- 1229
- 01:14:47,191 --> 01:14:49,400
- ...about me marrying a hooker.
- 1230
- 01:14:49,568 --> 01:14:52,153
- Just stay focused on Doug.
- 1231
- 01:14:52,321 --> 01:14:55,573
- - What am I gonna tell my dad?
- - Alan, relax. It's just the inside.
- 1232
- 01:14:55,741 --> 01:14:58,576
- Come on. I got a guy in L.A.
- Who's great with interiors.
- 1233
- 01:15:09,087 --> 01:15:12,632
- - Oh, Jesus!
- - Oh, my God.
- 1234
- 01:15:16,261 --> 01:15:18,554
- - Are you guys okay?
- - What the fuck?
- 1235
- 01:15:27,231 --> 01:15:30,775
- I know that guy.
- That's the guy from the trunk.
- 1236
- 01:15:31,318 --> 01:15:34,195
- Get out of the car. Please.
- 1237
- 01:15:35,280 --> 01:15:37,657
- W... W... Wait.
- Those are the guys that shot Eddie.
- 1238
- 01:15:39,117 --> 01:15:40,243
- - Listen...
- - Let's go!
- 1239
- 01:15:40,410 --> 01:15:42,119
- - Okay.
- - Oh, no.
- 1240
- 01:15:42,287 --> 01:15:43,788
- - Easy, easy.
- - Come on.
- 1241
- 01:15:43,956 --> 01:15:45,540
- Okay. All right.
- 1242
- 01:15:45,707 --> 01:15:47,667
- - All right, all right.
- - Let's go.
- 1243
- 01:15:48,210 --> 01:15:51,587
- Hey, relax. Ow. Ow. Ow!
- 1244
- 01:15:51,755 --> 01:15:53,798
- - I have whiplash.
- - Get this other fat boy.
- 1245
- 01:15:53,966 --> 01:15:55,424
- Get the fat boy.
- 1246
- 01:15:55,592 --> 01:15:56,634
- Hey, hey, hey.
- 1247
- 01:15:56,802 --> 01:15:59,720
- - All right, all right.
- - Hey, take it easy, take it easy!
- 1248
- 01:16:00,305 --> 01:16:04,684
- I want my purse back, assholes.
- 1249
- 01:16:05,936 --> 01:16:08,938
- - What? Your purse?
- - That's not a purse, it's a satchel.
- 1250
- 01:16:09,106 --> 01:16:13,693
- It's a purse. Okay?
- And you steal from wrong guy.
- 1251
- 01:16:13,860 --> 01:16:16,571
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Wait a second, wait a second.
- We stole from you?</font>
- 1252
- 01:16:16,738 --> 01:16:17,822
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Okay, you know </font>what?
- 1253
- 01:16:17,990 --> 01:16:21,367
- We <font color="#FFFFFF">don't remember anything</font>
- that happened last night...
- 1254
- 01:16:21,535 --> 01:16:23,703
- <font color="#FFFFFF">...so help us out a little here.</font>
- 1255
- 01:16:23,870 --> 01:16:27,999
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Well, apparently you guys met
- at a craps table late last night.</font>
- 1256
- 01:16:28,166 --> 01:16:30,501
- You <font color="#FFFFFF">were on a</font> heater,
- and he played your hot streak.
- 1257
- 01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:34,171
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- He ended up winning just under 80 grand.
- - No shit? Eighty grand is nice.</font>
- 1258
- 01:16:34,339 --> 01:16:35,423
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Okay, that's good.</font>
- 1259
- 01:16:35,591 --> 01:16:38,843
- <font color="#FFFFFF">He put the chips in his purse,
- and then you guys took off with it.</font>
- 1260
- 01:16:39,011 --> 01:16:40,720
- <font color="#FFFFFF">That doesn't sound like us.</font>
- 1261
- 01:16:40,887 --> 01:16:46,601
- Mine had $80,000 inside.
- And this one? Nothing.
- 1262
- 01:16:46,768 --> 01:16:48,436
- Hey, there are Skittles in there.
- 1263
- 01:16:48,854 --> 01:16:51,022
- Ow! Oh, not again.
- 1264
- 01:16:52,608 --> 01:16:55,067
- Don't let the beard fool you.
- He's a child.
- 1265
- 01:16:55,235 --> 01:16:57,194
- It's funny because he's fat.
- 1266
- 01:16:57,362 --> 01:17:00,823
- Now, look, this was obviously
- a very simple misunderstanding.
- 1267
- 01:17:00,991 --> 01:17:03,784
- Alan picked up the wrong purse,
- it's no big deal.
- 1268
- 01:17:03,952 --> 01:17:07,788
- Okay, if it's, "No big deal,"
- why, when I come after you guys...
- 1269
- 01:17:07,956 --> 01:17:11,792
- ...he starts screaming like crazy and
- throw me in trunk?
- 1270
- 01:17:12,002 --> 01:17:13,044
- What, I did that?
- 1271
- 01:17:13,211 --> 01:17:16,797
- Yeah, you said he was your lucky charm,
- and you want to take him home with you.
- 1272
- 01:17:18,800 --> 01:17:20,926
- - Lucky charm.
- - Oh, it's just funny.
- 1273
- 01:17:23,096 --> 01:17:24,221
- Fuck you.
- 1274
- 01:17:25,515 --> 01:17:29,894
- If you want to see your friend again,
- you get me my 80 grand.
- 1275
- 01:17:30,062 --> 01:17:31,520
- - What?
- - Our friend?
- 1276
- 01:17:31,688 --> 01:17:33,814
- - You have Doug?
- - You know about our friend?
- 1277
- 01:17:35,567 --> 01:17:37,526
- - Doug!
- - Doug!
- 1278
- 01:17:38,487 --> 01:17:41,906
- - Doug's in the car! Doug's in the car!
- - Doug, it's okay!
- 1279
- 01:17:42,074 --> 01:17:43,866
- You chill out, goatee!
- 1280
- 01:17:44,368 --> 01:17:48,204
- - Okay, okay. All right, fine, fine.
- - What do you want?
- 1281
- 01:17:48,372 --> 01:17:51,248
- Not so good now.
- Quid pro quo, douche bag.
- 1282
- 01:17:51,416 --> 01:17:52,541
- What?
- 1283
- 01:17:52,709 --> 01:17:55,419
- Look, we're very sorry.
- But this is an easy fix.
- 1284
- 01:17:55,587 --> 01:17:57,672
- - Alan, where's his purse?
- - I don't know.
- 1285
- 01:17:57,839 --> 01:18:00,383
- - It's in the hotel room, right?
- - Yeah, we can get it.
- 1286
- 01:18:00,550 --> 01:18:03,427
- We can get you the...
- We can even write you a check right now.
- 1287
- 01:18:03,595 --> 01:18:05,054
- No chance. Cash only.
- 1288
- 01:18:05,222 --> 01:18:07,765
- - There's a person in there.
- - Boring.
- 1289
- 01:18:09,518 --> 01:18:11,143
- Take nap. Come on.
- 1290
- 01:18:11,353 --> 01:18:13,104
- Wait. I'm sorry we're boring you!
- 1291
- 01:18:13,271 --> 01:18:16,774
- - Doug, it's okay.
- - You kidnapped our friend! Kidnapper!
- 1292
- 01:18:16,942 --> 01:18:19,235
- - Wait.
- - Oh, no. You're not going anywhere.
- 1293
- 01:18:20,529 --> 01:18:21,946
- Stop.
- 1294
- 01:18:22,447 --> 01:18:24,281
- Stop. Run me over.
- 1295
- 01:18:24,991 --> 01:18:27,451
- - Okay. Whoa. Whoa.
- - Stu, Stu, Stu.
- 1296
- 01:18:28,912 --> 01:18:33,374
- Bring money to Big Rock
- in Mojave Desert at dawn.
- 1297
- 01:18:33,542 --> 01:18:37,837
- - What?
- - Toodle-oo, motherfucker.
- 1298
- 01:18:40,465 --> 01:18:44,677
- Well, at least take the bag
- off his head! Fuck!
- 1299
- 01:18:46,304 --> 01:18:47,763
- Oh!
- 1300
- 01:18:56,148 --> 01:18:58,065
- Come on, get out of here.
- 1301
- 01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:07,616
- Guys, I'm telling you, I looked for it this
- morning before we left. It's not anywhere.
- 1302
- 01:19:07,784 --> 01:19:09,285
- Fuck.
- 1303
- 01:19:12,372 --> 01:19:13,998
- Stu, how much you got in the bank?
- 1304
- 01:19:14,166 --> 01:19:16,751
- About 10 grand.
- I was gonna use it for the wedding.
- 1305
- 01:19:16,918 --> 01:19:19,003
- You're already married,
- so we're good there.
- 1306
- 01:19:19,171 --> 01:19:21,338
- Besides, enough with Melissa,
- she's the worst.
- 1307
- 01:19:21,506 --> 01:19:24,175
- Yeah, Doug told me she had sex
- with a pilot or something.
- 1308
- 01:19:24,342 --> 01:19:28,137
- It was a bartender on a cruise.
- What is wrong with you people?
- 1309
- 01:19:28,305 --> 01:19:32,600
- - Ew. Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza?
- - Yes.
- 1310
- 01:19:33,643 --> 01:19:35,478
- What are we gonna do?
- We are so fucked.
- 1311
- 01:19:36,438 --> 01:19:37,480
- Hey, guys?
- 1312
- 01:19:37,647 --> 01:19:39,690
- - Did you find it?
- - Nope.
- 1313
- 01:19:40,859 --> 01:19:42,693
- But check this out.
- 1314
- 01:20:29,908 --> 01:20:32,159
- Change only, 10,000.
- 1315
- 01:20:35,914 --> 01:20:39,208
- - Hey, uh, these seats taken?
- - No, feel free.
- 1316
- 01:20:43,922 --> 01:20:46,590
- All right, let's play some blackjack!
- 1317
- 01:21:08,864 --> 01:21:11,448
- That's it. Shut up, bitches.
- 1318
- 01:21:15,662 --> 01:21:16,996
- Hmm.
- 1319
- 01:21:19,040 --> 01:21:22,209
- - I'll stick.
- - Oh, fuck you! Fuck you!
- 1320
- 01:21:28,133 --> 01:21:30,134
- Splitting fives.
- 1321
- 01:21:31,261 --> 01:21:32,469
- - Too many.
- - Yes!
- 1322
- 01:21:36,391 --> 01:21:39,643
- I don't even know you,
- but I'm gonna tell you that's dumb.
- 1323
- 01:21:40,437 --> 01:21:41,979
- - Yes!
- - Oh!
- 1324
- 01:21:42,147 --> 01:21:45,482
- Okay, come on.
- He can't lose. He can't lose.
- 1325
- 01:21:46,735 --> 01:21:48,861
- I think the pit boss is watching him.
- 1326
- 01:22:06,671 --> 01:22:07,922
- - Oh, my God.
- - Are you okay?
- 1327
- 01:22:08,089 --> 01:22:11,425
- I'm such a klutz. I get so nervous
- when I gamble. I'm so silly.
- 1328
- 01:22:11,593 --> 01:22:15,054
- - It happens.
- - Whoa. Hold on a beat, okay?
- 1329
- 01:22:15,221 --> 01:22:18,349
- - Let's just take it easy. This is my wife.
- - It's hurting.
- 1330
- 01:22:18,516 --> 01:22:20,017
- Make sure... Does it hurt? Does this hurt?
- 1331
- 01:22:20,185 --> 01:22:21,518
- - Oh, ow.
- - You all right?
- 1332
- 01:22:21,686 --> 01:22:23,938
- - I don't know.
- - I don't know either. I don't...
- 1333
- 01:22:24,105 --> 01:22:25,439
- I think you're fine. Let's go.
- 1334
- 01:22:25,607 --> 01:22:28,317
- - Really? Okay.
- Upsy-daisy, there.
- 1335
- 01:22:28,485 --> 01:22:31,445
- I'm sorry,
- she's had a little too much to drink.
- 1336
- 01:22:31,613 --> 01:22:34,740
- Thanks, buddy. That's for you.
- 1337
- 01:22:43,083 --> 01:22:45,834
- And 100, 200, 300, 400.
- 1338
- 01:22:46,002 --> 01:22:49,546
- With all this, that's $82,400.
- 1339
- 01:22:49,714 --> 01:22:53,133
- - Oh, goddamn it. I don't fucking believe it.
- - Whoo!
- 1340
- 01:22:53,301 --> 01:22:56,220
- - Alan, you're the man.
- - You are too, Phil.
- 1341
- 01:22:56,388 --> 01:22:59,056
- We should come back next week,
- take the whole city down.
- 1342
- 01:22:59,224 --> 01:23:00,432
- Oh, I'm free next week.
- 1343
- 01:23:00,600 --> 01:23:04,311
- Or we could just focus
- on getting Doug back, right now.
- 1344
- 01:23:04,479 --> 01:23:07,731
- Uh, you know what? Next week's no good,
- the Jonas Brothers are in town.
- 1345
- 01:23:07,899 --> 01:23:10,484
- But any week after that is totally fine.
- 1346
- 01:23:10,652 --> 01:23:14,071
- I think it's safe to say that our luck
- has officially turned around, guys.
- 1347
- 01:23:14,239 --> 01:23:19,576
- - We are back, baby. We are fucking back.
- - We're back. Classic.
- 1348
- 01:23:19,744 --> 01:23:21,578
- We are back, we are back
- 1349
- 01:23:21,746 --> 01:23:23,080
- That's right.
- 1350
- 01:23:23,248 --> 01:23:25,582
- We are getting Doug back
- 1351
- 01:23:25,750 --> 01:23:28,919
- And we're the three best friends
- That anybody could have
- 1352
- 01:23:29,087 --> 01:23:31,922
- We're the three best friends
- That anyone could have
- 1353
- 01:23:32,090 --> 01:23:35,592
- We're the three best friends
- That anyone can have
- 1354
- 01:23:35,760 --> 01:23:38,762
- And we'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever
- Leave each other
- 1355
- 01:23:38,930 --> 01:23:41,724
- We're the best three friends
- That anybody could have
- 1356
- 01:23:41,891 --> 01:23:44,727
- I mean, the three best friends
- That anybody could have
- 1357
- 01:23:44,894 --> 01:23:48,022
- That's right, the three best friends
- That anybody can have
- 1358
- 01:24:06,082 --> 01:24:08,125
- - Now what?
- - Give him the signal.
- 1359
- 01:24:08,293 --> 01:24:11,920
- - What signal?
- - Flash your lights. Let him know it's on.
- 1360
- 01:24:12,088 --> 01:24:15,007
- - What's on?
- - The deal.
- 1361
- 01:24:15,175 --> 01:24:18,927
- Of course it's on. We just drove 30 miles
- into the desert. He knows it's on.
- 1362
- 01:24:19,095 --> 01:24:21,221
- Phil, just do something.
- 1363
- 01:24:22,432 --> 01:24:23,724
- Fine.
- 1364
- 01:24:26,811 --> 01:24:28,645
- - Oh, shit.
- - See?
- 1365
- 01:24:28,813 --> 01:24:30,814
- All right, let's go.
- 1366
- 01:24:44,120 --> 01:24:46,246
- Funny fat guy fall on face.
- 1367
- 01:24:46,414 --> 01:24:47,831
- You okay?
- 1368
- 01:24:47,999 --> 01:24:50,793
- All right, we got the money.
- Eighty grand, cash.
- 1369
- 01:24:50,960 --> 01:24:53,128
- Throw it over. Then I give you Doug.
- 1370
- 01:24:53,296 --> 01:24:58,342
- Um, I'm sorry. First of all, good morning.
- And we didn't catch your name last night.
- 1371
- 01:24:58,510 --> 01:25:01,512
- Mr. Chow. Leslie Chow.
- 1372
- 01:25:01,679 --> 01:25:04,014
- Mr. Chow, it is a pleasure.
- My name is Stu.
- 1373
- 01:25:04,182 --> 01:25:08,936
- And we would very much appreciate
- an opportunity to see Doug...
- 1374
- 01:25:09,104 --> 01:25:12,022
- ...before we give you the money,
- just to verify that he's okay.
- 1375
- 01:25:12,190 --> 01:25:17,486
- - Lf that's cool.
- - Of course, Stu. That is cool.
- 1376
- 01:25:27,330 --> 01:25:29,540
- - Oh, thank God.
- - Okay.
- 1377
- 01:25:29,707 --> 01:25:32,668
- See, he fine. Now give me money...
- 1378
- 01:25:32,836 --> 01:25:36,797
- ...or I shoot him,
- and I shoot all you motherfuckers.
- 1379
- 01:25:36,965 --> 01:25:40,634
- And then we take it.
- Your choice, bitches.
- 1380
- 01:25:41,302 --> 01:25:42,803
- - Give him the money, Stu.
- - Okay.
- 1381
- 01:25:52,564 --> 01:25:55,399
- - It's all there.
- - Let him go.
- 1382
- 01:25:58,361 --> 01:26:00,737
- All right, take it easy. Take it easy.
- 1383
- 01:26:01,406 --> 01:26:02,573
- Ta-da.
- 1384
- 01:26:03,908 --> 01:26:05,993
- Is this some kind ofjoke?
- Who the hell is this?
- 1385
- 01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:07,202
- That is not Doug.
- 1386
- 01:26:07,370 --> 01:26:10,330
- What you talking about, Willis?
- That him.
- 1387
- 01:26:10,498 --> 01:26:12,916
- No, I'm sorry, Mr. Chow.
- That's not our friend.
- 1388
- 01:26:13,084 --> 01:26:16,128
- - He... That's...
- - The Doug we're looking for is a white.
- 1389
- 01:26:17,088 --> 01:26:20,883
- Ah! I told you you had the wrong guy,
- little boy.
- 1390
- 01:26:21,050 --> 01:26:23,552
- Damn, Alan,
- what the fuck you got me into?
- 1391
- 01:26:23,720 --> 01:26:26,430
- - You know him?
- - This is the guy that sold me the bad drugs.
- 1392
- 01:26:26,598 --> 01:26:29,141
- - How you doing?
- - I didn't sell you no fucking bad drugs.
- 1393
- 01:26:29,309 --> 01:26:34,438
- - Wait. He sold you the Ruphylin?
- - Ruphylin? I sold you that Ru...? Wha...?
- 1394
- 01:26:34,606 --> 01:26:38,692
- - Who gives a shit? Where is Doug?
- - I am Doug.
- 1395
- 01:26:38,860 --> 01:26:41,195
- - Your name's Doug?
- - Yes, I'm Doug.
- 1396
- 01:26:41,362 --> 01:26:44,072
- His name's Doug too. Ha. Classic mix-up.
- 1397
- 01:26:44,240 --> 01:26:45,407
- Come on.
- 1398
- 01:26:45,575 --> 01:26:49,786
- - Hey, Chow. You gave us the wrong Doug.
- - Not my problem.
- 1399
- 01:26:49,954 --> 01:26:53,624
- No, fuck that shit. Now, you give us
- our 80 grand back and take him with you!
- 1400
- 01:26:53,791 --> 01:26:58,462
- - No. Come on. I'll be your Doug.
- - Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, I take him back.
- 1401
- 01:26:58,630 --> 01:27:01,548
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Right after you suck on
- these little Chinese nuts.</font>
- 1402
- 01:27:01,925 --> 01:27:04,968
- - <font color="#FFFFFF">Ah. That's nasty.
- - Mmm. How that sound?</font>
- 1403
- 01:27:05,136 --> 01:27:06,678
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Unh, pshh.</font>
- 1404
- 01:27:06,846 --> 01:27:10,849
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- So long, gay boys.
- - Wait a second.</font>
- 1405
- 01:27:11,017 --> 01:27:12,768
- <font color="#FFFFFF">He's a nasty little motherfucker.</font>
- 1406
- 01:27:12,936 --> 01:27:14,061
- Did you<font color="#FFFFFF"> ever get any</font> ecstasy?
- 1407
- 01:27:14,229 --> 01:27:16,313
- <font color="#FFFFFF">No, I ain't got no fucking ecstasy.</font>
- 1408
- 01:27:16,481 --> 01:27:19,691
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- Goddamn it!
- - Gosh darn it!</font>
- 1409
- 01:27:19,859 --> 01:27:22,986
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- Shit!
- - Shoot!</font>
- 1410
- 01:27:32,497 --> 01:27:34,665
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- Hello?
- - Ahem, Tracy, it's Phil.</font>
- 1411
- 01:27:34,832 --> 01:27:38,460
- Phil, where the hell are you guys?
- I'm freaking out.
- 1412
- 01:27:38,628 --> 01:27:40,337
- Yeah, listen.
- 1413
- 01:27:42,757 --> 01:27:44,341
- We fucked up.
- 1414
- 01:27:44,509 --> 01:27:46,760
- Thanks for the lift back to town.
- 1415
- 01:27:48,429 --> 01:27:50,180
- - I got a question for you.
- - What's up?
- 1416
- 01:27:50,348 --> 01:27:52,182
- How did you wind up in Chow's car?
- 1417
- 01:27:52,934 --> 01:27:55,269
- That crazy asshole
- kidnapped me yesterday.
- 1418
- 01:27:55,436 --> 01:27:57,646
- Okay, but why? I mean, why you?
- 1419
- 01:27:57,814 --> 01:28:01,316
- He thought I was with you guys because
- we were hanging over at the Bellagio.
- 1420
- 01:28:01,484 --> 01:28:03,193
- - What?
- - We were at the Bellagio?
- 1421
- 01:28:03,361 --> 01:28:05,320
- We were shooting craps.
- You don't remember?
- 1422
- 01:28:05,488 --> 01:28:07,823
- No. No, we don't remember.
- 1423
- 01:28:07,991 --> 01:28:13,078
- Because some dick drug dealer sold him
- Ruphylin and told him it was ecstasy.
- 1424
- 01:28:13,246 --> 01:28:17,582
- Ruphylin. There you go with that word.
- Ruphylin. What the hell is a Ruphylin?
- 1425
- 01:28:17,750 --> 01:28:22,004
- Wow, you are
- the world's shittiest drug dealer.
- 1426
- 01:28:22,171 --> 01:28:27,634
- Ruphylin, for your information,
- is the date-rape drug. You sold Alan roofies.
- 1427
- 01:28:27,802 --> 01:28:31,346
- Oh, shit. I must have mixed up the bags.
- My fault, Alan.
- 1428
- 01:28:31,514 --> 01:28:34,558
- Damn, Marshall gonna be pissed off at me
- on that one.
- 1429
- 01:28:35,059 --> 01:28:38,103
- - Whatever.
- - It's funny, because just the other day...
- 1430
- 01:28:38,271 --> 01:28:41,481
- ...me and my boy, we was wondering
- why they even call them roofies.
- 1431
- 01:28:41,649 --> 01:28:44,651
- - You know what I'm talking about?
- - No. Don't know.
- 1432
- 01:28:44,819 --> 01:28:47,279
- Why not floories, right?
- Because when you take them...
- 1433
- 01:28:47,447 --> 01:28:50,615
- ...you're more likely
- to end up on the floor than the roof.
- 1434
- 01:28:50,950 --> 01:28:54,244
- What about groundies?
- That's a good new name for them.
- 1435
- 01:28:54,412 --> 01:28:55,871
- Or, how about rapies?
- 1436
- 01:28:56,497 --> 01:28:58,957
- - Wait, what did you just say?
- - Rapies.
- 1437
- 01:28:59,125 --> 01:29:02,836
- - Not you. Doug, what did you say before?
- - I said groundies.
- 1438
- 01:29:03,004 --> 01:29:04,046
- No, before that.
- 1439
- 01:29:04,213 --> 01:29:09,676
- You said, "You're more likely to wind up
- on the floor than..."
- 1440
- 01:29:09,844 --> 01:29:12,596
- - Phil.
- - Listen, Trace, I'm really sorry. L...
- 1441
- 01:29:14,849 --> 01:29:17,726
- - Phil? Hello?
- - Tracy, it's Stu.
- 1442
- 01:29:17,894 --> 01:29:20,103
- Stu. Talk to me. What's going on?
- 1443
- 01:29:20,271 --> 01:29:22,230
- Uh, nothing. Don't listen to Phil.
- 1444
- 01:29:22,398 --> 01:29:25,859
- He's completely out of his mind.
- He's probably still drunk from last night.
- 1445
- 01:29:26,027 --> 01:29:27,069
- Where's Doug?
- 1446
- 01:29:27,236 --> 01:29:30,530
- He is paying the bill.
- We just had a delicious brunch.
- 1447
- 01:29:30,698 --> 01:29:33,116
- We're in a hurry to get back,
- so we gotta get going.
- 1448
- 01:29:33,284 --> 01:29:35,452
- - Okay, we'll see you soon. Bye.
- - Stu.
- 1449
- 01:29:35,620 --> 01:29:37,788
- Stu. Fuck.
- 1450
- 01:29:37,955 --> 01:29:41,625
- - What the fuck, man?
- - I know where Doug is.
- 1451
- 01:29:48,341 --> 01:29:50,050
- I don't know, man. It just hit me.
- 1452
- 01:29:50,218 --> 01:29:53,136
- You remember when we saw
- Doug's mattress impaled on that statue?
- 1453
- 01:29:53,304 --> 01:29:55,639
- - Yeah, we threw it out the window.
- - No, impossible.
- 1454
- 01:29:55,807 --> 01:29:59,351
- - You can't open windows in Vegas hotels.
- - Well, then how did it get...?
- 1455
- 01:29:59,519 --> 01:30:01,728
- - Oh, my God!
- - Ha, ha, ha.
- 1456
- 01:30:01,896 --> 01:30:04,940
- - Whoa, wait. What's going on?
- - Doug was trying to signal someone.
- 1457
- 01:30:05,108 --> 01:30:06,566
- - Holy shit.
- - Yes.
- 1458
- 01:30:06,734 --> 01:30:09,611
- - Wait. How did you figure that out?
- - Doug made me realize it.
- 1459
- 01:30:09,779 --> 01:30:11,655
- - Doug?
- - Uh, not our Doug. Black Doug.
- 1460
- 01:30:11,823 --> 01:30:14,991
- - Hey, hey, easy with that shit. Come on.
- - Sorry.
- 1461
- 01:30:15,159 --> 01:30:16,993
- Can someone tell me
- where white Doug is?
- 1462
- 01:30:17,161 --> 01:30:18,745
- - He's on the roof, Alan.
- - Yes.
- 1463
- 01:30:18,913 --> 01:30:22,124
- He's on the roof. We must have taken him
- up there as a prank...
- 1464
- 01:30:22,291 --> 01:30:25,210
- ...so he'd wake up on the roof.
- - Like that time in summer camp.
- 1465
- 01:30:25,378 --> 01:30:27,504
- We moved his sleeping bag
- out in the jetty at the lake?
- 1466
- 01:30:27,672 --> 01:30:29,423
- Ha, ha, ha. Which was hilarious.
- 1467
- 01:30:29,590 --> 01:30:32,676
- It's not so funny now, though,
- because we forgot where we put him.
- 1468
- 01:30:32,844 --> 01:30:34,678
- You guys are retarded, you know that?
- 1469
- 01:30:34,846 --> 01:30:39,266
- - Holy shit. You think he's still up there?
- - There's only one way to find out.
- 1470
- 01:30:43,855 --> 01:30:45,188
- Doug!
- 1471
- 01:30:45,356 --> 01:30:47,190
- Doug!
- 1472
- 01:30:47,358 --> 01:30:49,484
- - Doug!
- - Doug, you up here, buddy?
- 1473
- 01:30:53,656 --> 01:30:55,699
- Where you at, Doug?
- 1474
- 01:30:57,368 --> 01:30:58,994
- Doug!
- 1475
- 01:31:02,707 --> 01:31:03,748
- Hey, guys!
- 1476
- 01:31:04,709 --> 01:31:06,293
- He's over here!
- 1477
- 01:31:08,004 --> 01:31:11,548
- - Hey, I found him! He's over here!
- - Oh, shit.
- 1478
- 01:31:14,051 --> 01:31:15,343
- He's okay.
- 1479
- 01:31:15,845 --> 01:31:17,512
- You're okay. Ha, ha, ha!
- 1480
- 01:31:17,680 --> 01:31:20,682
- Oh, God. We gotta go, buddy. Come on.
- 1481
- 01:31:20,850 --> 01:31:23,852
- Oh, we have been looking everywhere
- for you.
- 1482
- 01:31:24,020 --> 01:31:27,105
- - He's alive.
- - What the fuck is going on?
- 1483
- 01:31:27,273 --> 01:31:30,317
- We can explain everything,
- but right now we gotta go.
- 1484
- 01:31:30,485 --> 01:31:34,529
- - Hey, bud. You okay?
- - No. Not okay.
- 1485
- 01:31:34,697 --> 01:31:37,449
- You look good, you got some color.
- I'm jealous.
- 1486
- 01:31:37,617 --> 01:31:40,076
- - I'm getting married today.
- - Yes, you are.
- 1487
- 01:31:40,244 --> 01:31:42,787
- That's why you need to focus
- and do everything we say.
- 1488
- 01:31:42,955 --> 01:31:46,291
- Because, frankly,
- you're wasting a little bit of time right now.
- 1489
- 01:31:46,459 --> 01:31:47,751
- You fucking asshole!
- 1490
- 01:31:51,005 --> 01:31:52,714
- Oh, my skin burns. My skin burns.
- 1491
- 01:31:52,882 --> 01:31:54,591
- Oh, ow! God.
- 1492
- 01:31:54,759 --> 01:31:58,011
- - It's okay. It's not your fault, Doug.
- - Don't touch me. Shut up.
- 1493
- 01:31:58,179 --> 01:31:59,596
- All of you, shut up.
- 1494
- 01:32:00,556 --> 01:32:02,098
- Just get me home.
- 1495
- 01:32:02,266 --> 01:32:03,391
- Mm-hm.
- 1496
- 01:32:03,559 --> 01:32:05,352
- Just get me home.
- 1497
- 01:32:06,062 --> 01:32:08,438
- What about the one after that?
- 1498
- 01:32:08,648 --> 01:32:11,733
- You cannot be serious.
- 1499
- 01:32:12,443 --> 01:32:13,985
- Oh, goddamn it.
- 1500
- 01:32:14,153 --> 01:32:15,946
- - What?
- - Every flight to L.A. Is booked.
- 1501
- 01:32:16,113 --> 01:32:17,489
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- What about Burbank?
- - Sold out.</font>
- 1502
- 01:32:17,657 --> 01:32:21,076
- Oh,<font color="#FFFFFF"> fuck! We can't</font> drive there, the
- wedding starts in three and a half hours.
- 1503
- 01:32:21,244 --> 01:32:23,453
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- Alan, where's the car?
- - It's on its way.</font>
- 1504
- 01:32:23,621 --> 01:32:24,955
- <font color="#FFFFFF">You know what?</font>
- 1505
- 01:32:25,122 --> 01:32:28,416
- We can drive there.
- We <font color="#FFFFFF">can make it.</font> Okay?
- 1506
- 01:32:30,044 --> 01:32:31,127
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Hi.</font>
- 1507
- 01:32:32,088 --> 01:32:35,924
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- Just give me one second.
- - We will leave without you.</font>
- 1508
- 01:32:38,469 --> 01:32:40,595
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- Is he missing a tooth?
- - Yeah.</font>
- 1509
- 01:32:42,640 --> 01:32:44,558
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- Hey.
- - Hey.</font>
- 1510
- 01:32:44,725 --> 01:32:47,477
- Hey, thanks for helping out last night.
- <font color="#FFFFFF">That was so awesome.</font>
- 1511
- 01:32:47,645 --> 01:32:49,229
- Sure.
- 1512
- 01:32:50,064 --> 01:32:52,524
- Listen, Jade, l...
- 1513
- 01:32:52,692 --> 01:32:55,527
- Look, you don't have to say it.
- I totally understand.
- 1514
- 01:32:55,695 --> 01:32:58,822
- - This whole thing was stupid.
- - Huh.
- 1515
- 01:33:00,157 --> 01:33:01,783
- It was stupid, wasn't it?
- 1516
- 01:33:08,916 --> 01:33:10,834
- - This is yours.
- - Oh, thank you.
- 1517
- 01:33:12,003 --> 01:33:16,006
- I can't believe I gave my grandmother's
- Holocaust ring to someone I just met.
- 1518
- 01:33:16,173 --> 01:33:18,842
- - What was I thinking?
- - You were really fucked up.
- 1519
- 01:33:19,010 --> 01:33:20,719
- Clearly.
- 1520
- 01:33:21,721 --> 01:33:24,389
- - You did pull out your own tooth.
- - L...?
- 1521
- 01:33:25,099 --> 01:33:26,182
- I pulled out my tooth?
- 1522
- 01:33:27,476 --> 01:33:29,811
- Why did I pull out my own tooth?
- 1523
- 01:33:29,979 --> 01:33:32,439
- Alan bet you
- that you weren't a good enough dentist...
- 1524
- 01:33:32,607 --> 01:33:34,024
- ...to pull out your own tooth.
- 1525
- 01:33:34,900 --> 01:33:37,819
- Okay. Heh.
- 1526
- 01:33:38,195 --> 01:33:41,364
- - Of course he did.
- - You won.
- 1527
- 01:33:41,532 --> 01:33:44,951
- Yeah. Clearly. Yeah.
- 1528
- 01:33:45,119 --> 01:33:47,037
- That's victory, right there.
- 1529
- 01:33:47,204 --> 01:33:48,913
- It needs to go down.
- 1530
- 01:33:49,081 --> 01:33:50,832
- - It's good. Get in.
- - No. Safety first.
- 1531
- 01:33:51,000 --> 01:33:54,502
- - Alan, it's fine. It's down.
- - No, I gotta get it down first.
- 1532
- 01:33:54,670 --> 01:33:58,798
- - Jesus Christ. Look out.
- - Don't mess the car up.
- 1533
- 01:33:58,966 --> 01:34:00,884
- You're gonna mess the car up.
- 1534
- 01:34:01,052 --> 01:34:04,638
- - Hey, what are you doing next weekend?
- - I don't know. Working. Why?
- 1535
- 01:34:04,805 --> 01:34:07,849
- I was thinking maybe I'd come back
- and take you out to dinner.
- 1536
- 01:34:08,017 --> 01:34:10,560
- Really? Like a date?
- 1537
- 01:34:10,728 --> 01:34:15,482
- Yeah. Like a date.
- Only, one that hopefully I'll remember.
- 1538
- 01:34:15,983 --> 01:34:17,734
- Sounds good.
- 1539
- 01:34:21,197 --> 01:34:24,074
- - Stu. Come on.
- - Stu. Come on.
- 1540
- 01:34:25,660 --> 01:34:29,537
- I gotta go. Okay. Bye.
- 1541
- 01:34:32,249 --> 01:34:34,250
- - Bye.
- - Bye.
- 1542
- 01:34:36,379 --> 01:34:38,171
- All right, here we go.
- 1543
- 01:34:38,673 --> 01:34:41,591
- - All right, let's go.
- - Yeah.
- 1544
- 01:34:41,759 --> 01:34:42,759
- Careful.
- 1545
- 01:34:59,902 --> 01:35:02,570
- At least the trip
- wasn't a total disaster.
- 1546
- 01:35:02,738 --> 01:35:05,907
- - What makes you say that?
- - When I woke up on the roof...
- 1547
- 01:35:06,075 --> 01:35:09,953
- ...I happened to find $80,000
- worth of Bellagio chips in my pocket.
- 1548
- 01:35:10,121 --> 01:35:11,871
- - Oh!
- - Oh, my God!
- 1549
- 01:35:12,331 --> 01:35:15,834
- Looks like we're going home
- with some money, boys.
- 1550
- 01:35:33,310 --> 01:35:35,145
- Here he comes. That's him.
- 1551
- 01:35:37,356 --> 01:35:40,316
- - Hey, Neeco!
- - Hey. What's up, Alan?
- 1552
- 01:35:40,484 --> 01:35:42,152
- Whoo!
- 1553
- 01:35:43,612 --> 01:35:45,280
- - Whoa, look out.
- - Oh, shit.
- 1554
- 01:35:45,448 --> 01:35:47,449
- Whoa! Whoa!
- 1555
- 01:35:50,828 --> 01:35:52,120
- - Thanks, Neeco.
- - You got it, man.
- 1556
- 01:35:52,288 --> 01:35:53,705
- - Page me!
- - AdiĆ³s.
- 1557
- 01:35:54,123 --> 01:35:56,332
- - Who the hell was that guy?
- - That's my buddy.
- 1558
- 01:36:32,536 --> 01:36:37,373
- Hey. Sorry, MapQuest took us
- on a really crazy route.
- 1559
- 01:36:59,814 --> 01:37:01,564
- - How's my hair?
- - It looks good.
- 1560
- 01:37:01,732 --> 01:37:05,902
- - Is it cool like Phil's?
- - It's classic Phil.
- 1561
- 01:37:10,533 --> 01:37:12,575
- She looks beautiful, man.
- 1562
- 01:37:18,999 --> 01:37:20,208
- Sorry I'm late.
- 1563
- 01:37:21,752 --> 01:37:23,294
- Vegas.
- 1564
- 01:37:28,050 --> 01:37:31,970
- Where were you?
- And why are you so red?
- 1565
- 01:37:32,429 --> 01:37:36,307
- Honey, it's a long story.
- 1566
- 01:37:37,226 --> 01:37:39,185
- We are gathered here today...
- 1567
- 01:37:39,353 --> 01:37:42,939
- ...because of the strength of love
- and of promises kept.
- 1568
- 01:37:43,107 --> 01:37:46,317
- All I know is I am so sorry.
- 1569
- 01:37:46,652 --> 01:37:49,028
- And I promise
- for as long as we're married...
- 1570
- 01:37:49,196 --> 01:37:53,491
- ...to never, ever put you
- through anything like this again.
- 1571
- 01:37:54,618 --> 01:37:56,494
- Can you forgive me?
- 1572
- 01:38:42,333 --> 01:38:44,334
- - Daddy.
- - Hey, my man.
- 1573
- 01:38:44,501 --> 01:38:46,878
- Excuse me,
- but I'm expecting my husband any minute.
- 1574
- 01:38:47,046 --> 01:38:48,922
- Oh, that's very funny. Come here.
- 1575
- 01:38:50,299 --> 01:38:51,382
- How was your soccer game?
- 1576
- 01:39:08,359 --> 01:39:12,487
- - Stu? You avoiding me?
- - Hey. Melissa.
- 1577
- 01:39:12,655 --> 01:39:15,365
- Oh, my God.
- What happened to your tooth?
- 1578
- 01:39:16,200 --> 01:39:19,702
- Have you met Alan? Tracy's brother.
- Brother of the...
- 1579
- 01:39:19,870 --> 01:39:21,454
- Okay. Ow.
- 1580
- 01:39:21,622 --> 01:39:24,540
- That is disgusting.
- Why haven't you returned my calls?
- 1581
- 01:39:25,125 --> 01:39:27,043
- Well, there was a snafu
- when we stopped...
- 1582
- 01:39:27,211 --> 01:39:29,087
- I called that bed and breakfast in Napa.
- 1583
- 01:39:29,254 --> 01:39:32,423
- They said they had no record
- of you even checking in.
- 1584
- 01:39:33,133 --> 01:39:34,842
- That's because we didn't go to Napa.
- 1585
- 01:39:35,010 --> 01:39:39,013
- - Stu. What the fuck is going on?
- - We went to Las Vegas.
- 1586
- 01:39:39,181 --> 01:39:42,308
- Oh, really? Las Vegas?
- Why would you go to Las Vegas?
- 1587
- 01:39:42,476 --> 01:39:45,019
- My friend was getting married.
- That's what guys do.
- 1588
- 01:39:45,187 --> 01:39:46,938
- - Okay, that's not what you do.
- - Really?
- 1589
- 01:39:47,106 --> 01:39:51,567
- Well, then why did I do it, huh?
- Because I did it. Riddle me that.
- 1590
- 01:39:51,735 --> 01:39:53,236
- Why'd I do it?
- 1591
- 01:39:53,404 --> 01:39:55,613
- All you want me to do
- is what you want me to do.
- 1592
- 01:39:55,781 --> 01:39:57,657
- I'm sick of doing what you want.
- 1593
- 01:39:57,825 --> 01:40:01,369
- In a healthy relationship,
- a guy should be able to do what he wants.
- 1594
- 01:40:01,537 --> 01:40:04,580
- - That is not how this works!
- - Oh, good.
- 1595
- 01:40:04,748 --> 01:40:07,750
- Because whatever this is
- ain't working for me!
- 1596
- 01:40:07,918 --> 01:40:08,960
- - Oh, really?
- - Yeah.
- 1597
- 01:40:09,128 --> 01:40:10,253
- Since when?
- 1598
- 01:40:10,421 --> 01:40:14,966
- Since you fucked that waiter
- on your cruise last June. Boom!
- 1599
- 01:40:17,886 --> 01:40:21,597
- - You told me it was a bartender.
- - Oh, you're right. I stand corrected.
- 1600
- 01:40:21,765 --> 01:40:24,934
- It was a bartender.
- You fucked a bartender.
- 1601
- 01:40:25,102 --> 01:40:26,519
- You're an idiot.
- 1602
- 01:40:26,687 --> 01:40:27,729
- You're... You...
- 1603
- 01:40:29,773 --> 01:40:31,274
- You're such a bad person.
- 1604
- 01:40:31,442 --> 01:40:33,443
- Like, all the way through to your core.
- 1605
- 01:40:35,779 --> 01:40:38,656
- Alan, shall we dance?
- 1606
- 01:40:39,783 --> 01:40:40,825
- Let's do this.
- 1607
- 01:40:49,626 --> 01:40:52,295
- - It was a real pleasure meeting you.
- - Fuck off.
- 1608
- 01:40:52,921 --> 01:40:56,049
- - I'm getting my bartender's license.
- - Suck my dick.
- 1609
- 01:40:56,800 --> 01:40:58,176
- No, thank you.
- 1610
- 01:41:08,312 --> 01:41:09,312
- You guys are awe...
- 1611
- 01:41:10,689 --> 01:41:12,648
- - Sid?
- - There he is.
- 1612
- 01:41:12,983 --> 01:41:16,819
- - You wanted to see me?
- - Yeah.
- 1613
- 01:41:16,987 --> 01:41:19,322
- - Congratulations, buddy.
- - Congratulations to you.
- 1614
- 01:41:19,490 --> 01:41:22,366
- - You had us worried there for a second.
- - Sorry.
- 1615
- 01:41:22,534 --> 01:41:23,659
- How was Vegas?
- 1616
- 01:41:23,952 --> 01:41:26,829
- It was... Ahem. It was crazy.
- 1617
- 01:41:26,997 --> 01:41:28,581
- Attaboy.
- 1618
- 01:41:32,336 --> 01:41:34,879
- - Enjoy the car?
- - Mm-hm.
- 1619
- 01:41:35,923 --> 01:41:39,842
- - Remember to put Armor All on the tires?
- - Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
- 1620
- 01:41:43,097 --> 01:41:44,806
- Let me ask you a question.
- 1621
- 01:41:49,103 --> 01:41:52,313
- How can a cake cost $1400?
- 1622
- 01:41:54,525 --> 01:41:57,568
- - Highway robbery.
- - It's criminal.
- 1623
- 01:41:58,028 --> 01:42:00,988
- Sid, ahem, about the car...
- 1624
- 01:42:07,663 --> 01:42:11,833
- Tracy told you. I told her not to tell you.
- I wanted to tell you.
- 1625
- 01:42:14,294 --> 01:42:17,713
- - Tell me what?
- - Careful, Doug. These women...
- 1626
- 01:42:18,549 --> 01:42:19,715
- ...can't be trusted.
- 1627
- 01:42:21,260 --> 01:42:24,178
- - Tell me what, Sid?
- - The Mercedes.
- 1628
- 01:42:24,346 --> 01:42:26,722
- It is a wedding gift from Linda and I.
- 1629
- 01:42:28,433 --> 01:42:30,726
- - Are you serious?
- - What do you think?
- 1630
- 01:42:40,904 --> 01:42:42,405
- That is awesome.
- 1631
- 01:42:44,116 --> 01:42:45,867
- Thank you. Oh.
- 1632
- 01:42:48,078 --> 01:42:50,788
- Thanks, Daddy. Thanks, Sid.
- 1633
- 01:42:50,956 --> 01:42:53,332
- Close the door.
- - You're awesome.
- 1634
- 01:42:53,500 --> 01:42:55,376
- You are awesome.
- 1635
- 01:42:57,087 --> 01:42:58,504
- Yeah.
- 1636
- 01:43:06,597 --> 01:43:07,889
- Dougie...
- 1637
- 01:43:08,056 --> 01:43:10,516
- ...I gotta tell you, man,
- this was a gorgeous wedding.
- 1638
- 01:43:10,684 --> 01:43:13,603
- - I give it six months.
- - You're a dick.
- 1639
- 01:43:14,605 --> 01:43:18,983
- I don't know what to say.
- Thanks for the bachelor party, I guess?
- 1640
- 01:43:19,776 --> 01:43:24,113
- Yeah. I just wish
- we could actually remember some of it.
- 1641
- 01:43:24,281 --> 01:43:27,658
- - Hey, guys? Look what I found.
- - Whoa, that's my camera.
- 1642
- 01:43:27,826 --> 01:43:30,953
- - It was in the back seat of the car.
- - Oh, Go... Are there photos on it?
- 1643
- 01:43:31,121 --> 01:43:33,456
- Yeah. Some of it's even worse
- than we thought.
- 1644
- 01:43:33,624 --> 01:43:35,666
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- No fucking way. Give me that.
- - Wa... Wa... Wait.</font>
- 1645
- 01:43:35,834 --> 01:43:38,336
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Wait, wait, wait.</font>
- 1646
- 01:43:40,797 --> 01:43:45,343
- <font color="#FFFFFF">We look at these pictures together, okay?
- One time.</font>
- 1647
- 01:43:45,802 --> 01:43:49,972
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- And then we </font>delete the evidence.
- - I say we delete it right now.
- 1648
- 01:43:50,140 --> 01:43:53,809
- Are you nuts? <font color="#FFFFFF">I wanna find</font> out
- how I wound up in the hospital.
- 1649
- 01:43:53,977 --> 01:43:57,980
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- Yeah, it's in there.
- - Guys, one time.</font>
- 1650
- 01:43:58,148 --> 01:43:59,190
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- Deal?
- - Deal.</font>
- 1651
- 01:43:59,358 --> 01:44:01,025
- <font color="#FFFFFF">- Deal.
- - Okay.</font>
- 1652
- 01:44:05,489 --> 01:44:07,031
- <font color="#FFFFFF">Oh, dear Lord!</font>
- 1653
- 01:44:07,199 --> 01:44:08,407
- <font color="#FFFFFF">That's classic!</font>
- 1654
- 01:44:09,199 --> 01:46:08,407
- <font color="#FFD119">Want more fun like "The Hangover" Movie,
- then like this page...............
- www.facebook.com/EnglishLOLChannel/</font>
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