[Hanako] (Almost) Home For The Holidays: Part Two

Minor edits and additions by FluffandCrunch

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(Almost) Home For The Holidays

Winter Chords


An hour, maybe two or... possibly three, I honestly can’t remember what time the party even began anymore, pass by as the gathering finally begins to wind down. The sky outside is pitch black, the only sources of light being the moon and a few lampposts throughout campus.

Akira, after we all played a couple of games, told some more stories and finished off the oh so special eggnog that she brought along with her, is getting ready to head on home.

I look over to Lilly as her face scrunches up a bit, her cheeks a bit rosy from the amount of alcohol that she’s consumed in a short period of time. Her face is twisted into a pout.

“Akira, why must you leave all of a sudden?”

Her older sister peers down at her watch, looking a bit disappointed in herself.

“I promised my man that we’d hit the town tonight. Besides, I think I’ve overstayed my welcome here for today.”

She steps forward and Lilly stands up, brushing off her gown and wrapping Akira in a hug shortly after.

Hanako and I watch off to the side, the feeling of the family moment getting to the two of us in different ways.

Family.

There’s that word again.

I have one, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t really feel like they don’t exist anymore. The only difference for Hanako is it brings back bittersweet memories, though I don’t think you can really compare our situations at all.

I rub my wrist a bit, recalling the events leading up to where we are now.

That first tea party, and each successive one, along with the lunches and trips into the city that we’ve all made together...

It all just defines our friendship. We’re close, and when it finally comes time for some of us go off in our own separate directions, I have a feeling it’s going to be extremely difficult to handle. University is always looming over the three of us. Hanako insists on coming to the same university as myself, so that’s where the current plans lay for now.

We haven’t been together too long, but it really feels like I’ve known her for my entire life. She’s practically opened up everything to me, even managing to pull out a couple of old stories she had about some of the time she spent with her parents.

Coming back to the present, I catch her looking at me out of the corner of my eye. Before I can turn and question her, Lilly and Akira break their hug and quiet conversation that I’ve managed to miss the majority of.

Akira picks up the remnants of what she brought with her, as well as her new, and might I say glorious, flask. Hanako and I both stand up and share our farewells with her before stepping over by Lilly.

Finally, she heads to the door, exiting the room, but not without popping her head back in for a moment to get the final word of the party in.

“Just remember, kids: be smart and stay safe.” She then turns her attention specifically to Hanako and I.

“And you two. Use protection, ya’ hear?”

The room suddenly feels extremely warm. Someone must have turned up the thermostat.

I shake my head out of embarrassment as she starts to walk away, calling back from the hallway.

“I’ll see y’all soon!”

After what you just said, I’m not quite sure that I want to see you for a few more weeks at least, Akira.

Hanako has her hands up over her eyes, shaking her head around as her face turns a shade crimson in color.

I wrap my arm around her shoulder in an attempt to calm her down as Lilly giggles like a schoolgirl, obviously sensing the amount of awkwardness and embarrassment that is being shared between the two of us at the moment.

There’s that aura again.

Friendship.

Something that can let even a blind girl know what you’re feeling as if she could read the expression directly from your face.

Lilly then turns and faces the two of us, tilting her head slightly and smiling in a very warm and inviting way.

I decide to speak before she has a chance to capitalize on my embarrassment..

“I think that it may be time for me to take my leave as well. Not sure about Hanako here, but I’m absolutely beat.”

She nods her head in agreement.

“I-I think we s-should both get going, L-Lilly...”

Lilly dips her head for a moment, seemingly disappointed that the fun for the evening has finally come to abrupt an end. Of course, not to try and ruin our high spirits, she quickly picks her expression back up into one of happiness.

“Of course. You two deserve some time alone anyways, don’t not? After all...”

She can’t even bring herself to say what she wants to get out before covering her mouth and giggling like a child once again. I scratch the back of my neck, trying to ward off any further mortified feelings.

“No, we’re not going to do that. We’re just going to go relax for a while, you know? Like people are supposed to do.”

Hanako blushes once again, her muscles tensing up even at the idea of relaxation. I smile and rub her shoulder, bending down and picking up my new tie as I prepare to help us escape from the awkward air surrounding the three of us.

Lilly nods her head, obviously understanding what I’m getting at.

“Go enjoy yourselves. I’ll meet up with you two romantics in the morning then. Remember: nine sharp, we’re meeting at the Shanghai for Christmas breakfast.”

I raise my hands in defeat as the two of us begin to turn to the door, twisting the knob and walking out into the hallway.

“Sounds like a plan. We’ll catch you later, Lilly.”

“B-bye, Lilly!”

Her smile takes an almost bittersweet turn, her expression almost looking a bit envious. I really hope she doesn’t feel that way about our relationship, and that’s the honest truth. Happiness is something to be found on your own, not envied from others.

“Stay safe, you too.”

I close the door behind Hanako and I as we head down the hall, working our way over to her dorm room.

I sigh out of exhaustion. It’s been a very, very long day, and honestly, I’m thinking about just calling it a night. The two of us really didn’t make any plans, though generally Hanako invites me into her room after we have a tea party purely on impulse.

It’s quite nice, actually. Being able to snuggle up, even though she used to be very resistant and against the idea, with Hanako is great, whether it’s hot or cold, night or day. I don’t really need an excuse to enjoy being close to her.

She looks just about to throw in the towel early tonight as well, though. Those few glasses of eggnog may very well have done her in for the evening.

We finally reach her door, and the first thing that jumps out at me is that habit of hers returning; the uncomfortable shifting around when she’s either anxious or nervous is always pretty obvious to me..

I rustle her hair a bit, making her tense up for a moment.

“You okay?”

She nods her head at me furiously, not doing a very good job of hiding her apprehension well.

“What’s on your mind, Hanako?”

Her breathing seems to pick up for a moment. What on earth is she so nervous about?

Finally, she gathers enough courage to speak.

“I-I-I... w-well, you s-see, I j-just wanted to know i-if you’d want to g-go for a walk...” She shrugs helplessly. “Y-you don’t have to if y-you don’t w-want to.”

That’s it? There’s no way that could possibly be all that she’s getting worked up about. My interest is piqued, not to mention this should also give me ample time to return to my own room for a moment to pick up a last minute gift.

“Sounds like a plan to me, but I need to take a walk back to my room really quick. Why don’t you get changed and meet me out front by the girl’s entrance?”

She nods her head, a relieved smile spreading across her lips.

“O-Okay. I’ll m-meet you there in a few minutes...”

She hurriedly shuffles into her room and closes the door behind her, giving me one final look and smile as I turn and head down the hallway and out of the girl’s dormitory.

I break through the freezing winter air with quick steps, trying to cut off as much time as possible while getting back into my room and get ready.

There’s something I need to give her.

It was something else I had the chance to pick up while Lilly and I were in Othello’s place, where she got the book for Hanako and I picked up Akira’s flask. While I was browsing, something else caught my eye and I had to get it for her..

The bracelet was small, made of some heavy metal and it carried a fairly hefty price tag. It’s previously golden color, though it certainly wasn’t made of pure gold or anything like that, seemed to have faded to a more bronze tint.

When I picked it up and looked at it, the words engraved across it were a clear indication that it would be perfect for Hanako.

Those words mean the world to me here at Yamaku. It’s not friendship, but something more important to my friends and myself than anything imaginable.

I scurry all the way through the halls and pop into my room, rushing through my desk drawer and pulling out the small jewelry box. I tuck it into my coat pocket and slap on a pair of gloves, a scarf and a small beanie.

Guess I should brace for being out in the cold for a while, shouldn’t I?

I hustle back downstairs, keeping an eye out for a drunk Kenji, and across campus back to the girls dorms again, just to find Hanako already waiting for me. She’s decked out in a heavy winter coat, a scarf and a pair of earmuffs, leaving her hands bare.

She finally catches notice of my arrival, her cheeks turning a rose tint once more.

I put my arm out, offering it to her.

“Ready to get going?” I shiver out, trying to keep my voice from sounding too tense in the frost bitten air.

She takes her arm and wraps it around mine, practically hugging up to my side.

“Y-Yes...”

I lead us down the set of stairs in front of the dorm and out onto a path that leads through campus, walking at a steady pace.

“Are we walking to anywhere in particular?” I turn my head and look at Hanako, and quite honestly, she really looks to be in deep thought as to where we could go.

But on top of all of that, there’s just this sense of anxiousness about her once more that I don’t understand in the slightest.

I mean, she’s normally shy and all that, but around me, that sense of anxiety seemed to have faded over the past few months that we’ve been building our relationship with each other.

What could possibly be bringing it back?

Before I can delve into that thought, she pulls me back to reality with her voice.

“T-There’s a bench n-not too far from here...” She points across a range of snow, a visible bench resting underneath of a light post catching my eye.

I nod and take a step off the path, leading the way on our short trek.

I’ve got to be completely honest. I’m... I don’t know.

Nervous, maybe?

I just feel like she’s not going to accept my gift for some reason. I’ve been trying to think of something to say when I give it to her, like a real way to describe the true reason behind the bracelet, but my mind has just been blank on that subject for days now.

It’s been pretty destructive on the nerves.

I don’t want her to run away anymore.

I want her to stay put and place every ounce of trust that she can muster into me.

That brings me to another thought: why did she insist on the two of us taking a walk in the freezing cold? I think with a shudder.

We could have easily done something in her room, even though it may not have been as emotionally effective, it still would have worked out in the end.

Wait.

I think I can finally put two and two together.

She’s anxious because she has something to tell me. That’s the obvious first thought I had when letting her get ready not too long ago, but it’s extremely obvious now. The next hurdle is this: what the hell does she want to tell me?

She owes me absolutely nothing, and I really  hope that she knows that as well.

I bring my focus back on the girl beside me.

She’s so... I don’t know. Gorgeous wouldn’t be the proper word, I think.

It’s not even that she’s the ‘sexiest’ girl on earth by any means. She’s just special, and she managed to be that one girl who entrapped my heart for her own pleasure.

She’s adorable. She’s deceptively intelligent. I mean, I can’t really even describe her.

To me, nothing should ever change about her. Things that change should be the things I can change about myself as well, that way we can both say that we didn’t try to become something we’re not just to please one another.

I know she works hard on her problems, sometimes to the point where she stresses herself out over it.

But... there’s just some times in life where you’ve got to let all of that go and live in the moment.

Quite honestly, I think that’s what the two of us are doing right now.

I finally regain focus as we arrive at the bench. She releases her tense grip on my arm and takes a seat, putting her hand on the space beside her as a gesture for me to join her.

I slide in next to her and leave a small amount of space between the two of us. I finally look up into her eyes, and they honestly look slightly panicked.

I frown.

“Hanako, please, tell me what’s wrong. You’re starting to worry me now.”

She shivers as the cold continues to bite at the two of us.

“I...” She trails off, obviously thinking of how to word whatever she wants to say.

“‘I’ what?” I poke curiously, trying to break her barrier and make her ease up a bit. It seems that the move was slightly effective, as her muscles appear to relax.

“I-I have s-s-something to t-tell you..”

I smile softly, trying to create as much of a warm and inviting environment as I can with the icy air filling both of our lungs.

“I’m all ears, all the time. You certainly know that by now.”

Her cheeks are pink as can be, thought I’m questioning whether or not it’s from the cold or from a blush.

She finally exhales heavily, reaching her hands up to her coat pocket and fumbling to get it open. Once she finally manages that, she removes something from inside.

It’s...

A ribbon?

I don’t mean like the one’s she got for Lilly’s hair. I mean ribbon, like the stuff you use when wrapping presents.

Before I can even begin to question what this is about, she speaks in her usual soft tone.

“T-This is the f-first gift I ever got after the... t-the f-fire.”

Oh.

Please, Hanako, no. Don’t do this to yourself on a night like tonight.

I place a hand on her shoulder. Despite her nervousness, she has a very steady look in her eyes, determined and committed.

“Are you sure you want to tell me this?”

She nods.

“I h-have to.”

I close my eyes for a moment and sigh, ceding an early defeat on that one.

“Alright. I’m listening.”

She gives me a pained smile as she returns to the topic.

“When I-I was in the f-foster home, I w-was always picked on. I got c-called mean names almost c-constantly...” Her expression looks sad, almost as if she could just abruptly stop and break down crying. My own muscles tense up a bit as I wiggle my way a bit closer to her, trying to give her a makeshift sense of security.

As I move, she continues.

“T-There was this b-boy though. H-His name was R-Ryo, and h-he was the only person who w-would play with m-me...” She smiles painfully, giving her words a moment to settle in.

“H-He would always b-bring his food and sit with me at lunhc or his t-toys and share with me when it w-was time to play, w-while all of the other kids l-laughed and m-made fun of my... m-my scars. B-but he was d-different, a-and to this d-day, I can’t t-tell you why h-he did any of th-those things for m-me....”

I cringe at the last part.

For now though, I think I need to keep my mouth shut. I run it far too much as it is, and it’s certainly her turn to talk rather than my own.

She’s definitely using all of her strength and willpower to tell me this, that’s a fact.
She continues.

“O-One day, he s-stopped playing with me. I-I found out t-that the other k-kids started to m-make fun of him t-too. The day b-before he stopped, he g-gave me this...” She holds the ribbon up like it’s sacred.

A couple of snowflakes begin to trickle down from the clouds.

She then turns to me and takes my hand.

“O-Open your hand.”

I obey, and she then takes the ribbon and ties it in a pretty bow around my wrist. My eyes go wide, stunned at her what she’s doing.

“I w-want you to have it...”

I just have to question her thought process here.

“But why, Hanako? I don’t deserve this at all.”

She shakes her head violently, obviously impassioned about her decision.

“T-This was my f-first gift from a f-friend, e-even if it is something so s-small. Y-You...” She trails off, obviously mustering as much courage as her slender frame can handle.

“Y-You mean the world to m-me. When I g-got this, i-it made me f-feel like a person again, e-even if it was for a s-short time... So, p-please Hisao, take it. I t-think you deserve it for helping me f-feel like I’m a h-human again rather than some b-beast...”

That’s the most I’ve heard her talk consecutively since we first started dating. I look down at the ribbon, waving in the cold breeze, the knot  holding it tightly as if it would fly off if it were to let loose, delicate and grasping. I then do the same thing, hold to her hand, gripping it hard enough so that she cannot run away anymore.

She looks down at her feet, obviously worn out and highly embarrassed by what she has just told me.

At the same time, though...

It almost looks as if a huge weight has been lifted from her shoulders.

I smile at her, pushing her chin up to face me.

“Thank you so much, Hanako. This very well may just be the greatest Christmas present I’ve ever received.”

I can’t lie about that one. The girl I’ve fallen deeply in love with basically expressing how much I actually mean to her?

Certainly not a traditional gift, but it was definitely a very symbolic one.

Apparently though, she hasn’t completely finished yet.

“C-Can I ask you s-something, Hisao?”

“Go for it.”

She relaxes a bit, closing her eyes for a moment.

“W-When he stopped c-coming to play with me, i-it was because the other k-kids made fun of him f-for it... what m-makes us any d-different than that? H-How will I k-know that you w-won’t just get up and l-leave me a-alone tomorrow? I just don’t want you t-to l-leave like he d-did...”

My heart sinks.

It almost sounds like she has no trust in me at all.

But this may be the right opportunity to prove to her just how much she means to me. This is the opportunity I had been waiting for.

I fumble around with my coat pocket and remove the bracelet box from it. Hanako stares at me in amazement, looking at the present that rests in my hand. I wave my finger to beckon her in closer to me, which she hesitantly does. I lean over close to her face and bring the box up to eye level.

“Open it.”

With a shaky hand, probably in pain from the wintry air and snow falling from the sky above, she reaches up to the box and flips the cover up, revealing the bronze colored bracelet in all of it’s shining glory.

Her eyes light up and mouth opens slightly, obviously shocked by what was inside the box.

“Take it out.”

She obeys one more and holds it up between the two of us as I bring my finger up, pointing to the words engraved on it.

“Can you read that to me?”

She shakes her head no.

Her eyes look a bit moist.

I poke her nose with my finger, teasing her.

“Yes, you can. Read it for me, please?”

She hesitates for a moment, but finally, she cedes victory to me.

“Family.”

The word finally gets to her. A single tear rolls down her cheek, giving me plenty enough motivation to wipe it away.

“Do you know why I got this for you?” I smile at her, even a small smile spreading on her face as she rubs another tear out of her eye.

She shakes her head from side to side.

I point my finger back to the word again.

“Then let me explain. You see this word right here? ‘Family’ doesn’t just mean your parents and siblings, aunts and uncles - it means anyone who you can trust your life with.”

I stand up, emphasizing my point by putting both of my hands on her shoulders..

“I’m right here. Lilly’s here, and Akira is too. All three of us will always be there for you, no matter what you actually believe in that cute little head of yours. You mean the world to us, and we know very well that we mean the world to you as well. We may not be your biological family; nobody can ever replace them. But I can tell you one thing...”

I take a pause for a moment, gathering some breath in my lungs. Her eyes are still wide, switching back and forth between the bracelet and me.

“We all love you dearly, as if you have been with us for our entire lives. Speaking for myself... well, I think you know very well by now that I love you because you’re the girl who caught my heart and brought me back from one of the most difficult places in my life. You didn’t necessarily ‘resurrect’ me, but you helped me start off on a brand new life. It’s like I was born a second time.”

Before I even finish my words, she’s hopping up out of her seat and embracing me in a hug. Tears roll free down her face as she lets out little sobs of happiness into my chest.

I pick her chin up again, forcing her to look me in the eyes.

“Hanako, I don’t think the two of us should live in the past any longer. We shouldn’t try and live in the future either. It’s time for us to just live in the moment and go with what we believe are the right decisions in life. Don’t you agree?” I whisper to her, wiping a few tears off of her cheek.

She nods her head, but not before she begins to push herself up to become level with my face, bringing her lips to meet mine.

This is what I think I should call a picture perfect moment. Snow falling all around, and not a sound was to be heard as two happy lovers continued as they were.

Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

I wish I had a camera.

After a good moment, I finally break the two of us apart, leaving her in a bit of disappointment.

I take her hand, which she still is hold the bracelet with, and offer to put the bracelet on her wrist.

“May I?” I smile.

“P-Please.”

I move the bracelet down onto her wrist, nearly identical to the ribbon around my own, that single word finally carrying even more meaning to it.

They’re not just a bracelet or a ribbon anymore.

They’re promises.

I offer my hand to her, which she gladly takes with a very bright smile.

“What do you say we head back? It’s getting late.”

She pouts, a bit of pain in the wake of a pivotal moment ending. Then, she brings her knuckles up to her face once again, obviously embarrassed by some thought running through her head.

I laugh.

“What now?”

She smiles.

“M-Maybe, if you’d w-want to... you c-could come back to my r-room...”

I pick up on the idea she has, but just can’t help but use the moment to tease her a little bit.

“What do you plan on doing with me there?”

She pouts again, giving me puppy dog eyes.

That’s going to be the death of me, someday. I can just see it now: ‘Young Man dies of heart attack from cute things.’

“I w-want to s-sleep, is a-all...”

“With me?”

She blushes once more.

“Of c-course, s-silly.”

I grin and lead the two of us back onto the snow, taking the shortcut once towards the girls dorm.

As we make our return trip, I can’t help but think back on something that I was thinking at this exact spot earlier.

There’s just some times in life where you’ve got to let all of that go and live in the moment.

Quite honestly, I think that’s what the two of us are doing right now.