YOTSUBA & LOLICONS

YOTSUBA & LOLICONS

Muted thudding reverberated through the floor of the Ayase's living room as Yotsuba kicked her feet up and down underneath the kotatsu, sipping a cup of apple juice and scribbling determinedly on a sheet of paper with her crayons. Fuuka laid on the couch beside her, her head nestled against the warm sleeve of her sweater, idly flipping through channels on the television. She set the remote down with a sigh, her eyes dropping languidly shut.

"Ugh," she said with a sigh. "I hate shows like this. They always end up making one of the characters a lolicon like it's some kind of joke."

Yotsuba looked up at Fuuka from her drawing of, ostensibly, a Duralumin with cybernetic implants.

"Whassat?"

"Hm?" Fuuka asked, opening her eyes halfway.

"Whatsa 'law-lee con'?"

Fuuka's eyes opened wide and her face tensed up as she realized what she had just set in motion.

"Ah—" she started, scrambling to think of how to respond. "It's a, uh...a grown-up who...likes little girls."

Yotsuba nodded her head a few times.

"Oh. Like Daddy."

Fuuka pushed herself up onto her elbow in sudden shock.

"What?" she asked, her voice sharp. Yotsuba continued to scribble.

"Daddy likes Yotsuba, so Daddy's a law-lee con." Fuuka let out a relieved sigh and pushed herself up into a more comfortable position.

"No, your daddy's not a lolicon," she said. Yotsuba looked at her with disdain.

"Uh-huh! Daddy told me he likes Yotsuba even when I make a mess or forget to do my chores."

"O-of course," Fuuka said, trying to think of how to recover. "But that's not really what I meant. A lolicon is an adult who is...I guess, 'in love' with little girls."

"Daddy DOES love Yostuba!" she exclaimed, a cross expression on her face. "He said he loves Yotsuba even more than picking up acorns or putting on clean underwear! Daddy's a law-lee con!"

Fuuka's eyes darted back and forth as she scrambled for a way to salvage the situation, neverminding the specific oddities in what Yotsuba was saying. Asagi peeked her head into the room with a coy smirk, having been listening quietly from the dining room.

"This sounds serious," she said, walking into the room and sitting opposite Yotsuba. "I think we need to get to the bottom of this." Fuuka glared at her, knowing that she was only going to complicate things further.

"Asagi!" Yotsuba shouted. "Fuuka doesn't think Daddy is a law-lee con!" Asagi nodded her head seriously.

"Well, let's see," she said, resting her arms on the table and raising her fist to her mouth contemplatively. "Does he spend a lot of time on his computer?" Yotsuba nodded vigorously.

"Daddy spends ALL DAY on his computer!" she shouted. Asagi tapped her finger a few times on the table.

"And does he have trouble doing simple things like chores?"

"Asagi," Fuuka started, "please don't—"

"Uh-huh!" Yotsuba shouted again, cutting her off. "Just yesterday, Daddy said he was too busy to bring in the laundry, so he told Yotsuba to do it. But Yotsuba was busy fighting Mecha-Duralumin for the fate of the world, so the laundry got rained on! It was Daddy's fault!" Asagi tried hard to stifle her laughter.

"There's no doubt about it," she said, a slight tremolo in her voice nearly betraying her. "Your daddy's a hopeless degenerate."

"Hopeless!" Yotsuba echoed, slamming the palms of her hands onto the table and lifting herself up. "Yotsuba needs to give him a lecture!" She stuffed her crayons and the half-finished drawing of her previous night's epic struggle into her bag and bolted from the room. Mrs. Ayase simply looked in on the girls as Fuuka rubbed at her eyes and Asagi laughed to herself.

"Dear, will you please stop causing so much trouble for that poor man?"

Asagi simply leaned back with a satisfied grin.

"Eh, it's good for them."