Happy merchant and a whorse [WIP]

>be merchant in Equestria
>just finished the final touches to sell changeling pheromones to mares all across horseland
"he he he, silly ponies, I can't wait to crumble their fragile economy!"
>on your way to pitch the idea to some investors in Canterlot you see a tiny brown box housing a starved little mare
"Shalom Aleikhem little pony! Care to try out my new product? It will make you irresistible to stallions world wide."
>the mare inspects you with heavy eyes
>"Gee stranger, I don't think I can afford something like that."
"Nonsense!"
>you pull out a tiny vial with the crystal clear liquid in it
"Only 20 shekels- eh. I mean 200 'Bits'! Yes, my product is worth every penny, he he he."
>she carefully turned around, hesitant to take her eyes off the stranger
>digging around in her box she produces 45 Bits
>her face bearing the look of defeat she carefully made eye-contact
>"I-i only have f-forty five Bits, sir. That hardly covers a train ticket..."
"Oy Gevalt! Are you trying to bleed me dry pony?!"
>"I-i'm sorry.. Please, don't yell."
>rubbing your hands together a devious grin develops on your face
"The absolutely lowest I can go is 50 Bits!"
>"But I only hav-"
"OR! I can take those Bits off your hooves AND that cardboard box, yes. The box and the bits will suffice!"
>extremely hesitant the whore-pony gets out of her makeshift house and scoot the bit-sack over with her muzzle
>being one of God's choose you were true to your word and gave her the vial


>after a short walk you reached a train stop and took the first ride to Canterlot with the Bits you made
>sitting in your seat your grin and hand-rubbing intensifies
"He he eh, little did the pony know that Changeling pheromones are dark and murky in appearance, not crystal clear."
>you check your pocket, checking that the real bottle of pheromones are still located safely in your possession
>you're stiffening a giggle to yourself the entire train ride, knowing you got a mare's house and all her finances for a vial filled with useless water
>you laugh all the way to Canterlot
>the business meeting went as expected
>the stupid ponies swallowed your verbal snake oil without a shimmer of question in only a couple of hours
>good thing you managed to catch that train
>the deal wouldn't have gone half as well if you arrived late
>You take a stroll over to the outskirts of the buzzing Capital
>finding a peaceful bridge you decide to sit down and relax
>positively loaded with investor cash you take the time out of your night to observe Equestria's beautiful frozen landscape and breathtaking night sky
"All of this will be mine in due time, he he he."
>while frolicking in the thought of your new-found riches you hear a pair of downtrodden hoofsteps


>wouldn't you know it
>it was the disgusting, poor mare from before
>if she wasn't disgusting before she was now
>her breath had that Irish car-bomb stench
>the mare was walking through the snow leaving a Whiskey colored vomit trail
"So, how did my product work, little pony?"
>she was way too tired to even look angry
>lowering her head and ears, she spoke up
>"Golly stranger, I tried picking up customers at the local bar around the corner..."
"...And?"
>with a sigh she slightly raised her snout
>"The bartender offered to pay me with whatever's left in the glasses after he closed.."
>she dragged herself over to the edge of the bridge, sniveling
>"Maybe I'm just too ugly for anypony to want me.. If your potion thing didn't work, nothing will."
>you admired the view again, it felt like you were sitting at the edge of the universe
"Well you can't expect my product to do ALL the work, pony. perhaps if you bought another bottle~ "
>"Thanks but no thanks, I don't have any money."
>she turned over to you muttering something so quiet toy couldn't make it out
"You need to speak up, pony. You can't expect me to hear as well as I can smell."


>"C-can I please h-have my house back?"
"Excuse me!?"
>"I-it's just that... Winter is coming, and I don't have any shelter, nowhere to go. A-and you don't fit in a cardboard box"
"Oy Vey! Oy Vey! OY VEY! First you buy and use my precious pheromones, and NOW you have the audacity to ask for.."
>you cringe
"A refund!?!?!"
>she winced at you for raising your voice
>"I guess i'm not then, sorry for asking!"
"If you want something you need to work for it, pony."
>"Oh yes mister, anything for some shelter."
"Anything?"
>"Yes, yes, yes! Anything"
"He he he, follow me, little pony. And if you as much as open your mouth or make eye contact with me the deal is off, I don't want to be associated with the likes of you."
>"I-... I understand."


>you take the dirty whore over to the train station and she obediently follows like a good goy
>while taking the midnight train back to ponyville you managed to get a little shut-eye
>today was a busy day
>you hand (loan) the whore some Bits and order for her to go to the local spa for a total makeover
>when she's all nice and clean you tell her to head over to Rarity's for some new clothes
>finally the pony prostitute looked somewhat respectable
>as a final touch you pop up a legitimate pheromone vial and pour it over her
"Now, I want you to go out there and do what you do best, and when the mares in this town asks you just how you do it I want you to tell them it's because of 'All. Y. Shekelstein's miracle vials'."
>"I will, I will! Thank you soooo much All!"
>she moved in for a hug, but years of practicing the 'Shoa-Shuffle' allowed you to dodge her advances with ease
"No touching! I have no idea were you've been!"
>that jacked her down more than a few notches
>"Sorry! I had no idea, oh man, I'm so sorry."
"You're forgiven when you pay me back, with interest of course, he he he."
>"You betcha! You're truly my greatest Ally!"


>your plan worked once more
>not only did the filthy whorse manage to pay you back in droves
>she was also walking commercial for your product
>it didn't take long until every mare in ponyville craved your product, further increasing the value of your company
>once again you've triumphed over the opposing race
>further proving the fact that your position as part of God's chosen people was unquestionable