Thread 77: Stories 1-15

https://archive.moe/mlp/thread/23030892/
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>AJ
„Sunset“
~~~

Applejack was a little winded right now, a small bead of sweat lining her brow and her breath escaping her in small pants that cause wisps of steam to billow from her muzzle.

>Nnnngggh! Haaah-haaah-haaah. Nmmmhhhm!

Pressed close to her, much closer than either would've let other were they both sober, was Sunset Shimmer, watching the earth pony fondly.

„Hmm, wow. I wouldn't have guessed that you were such a quick learner. And here I thought you had a horrible technique.“

The princess shot her student a small glare, then resumed her tiring task, her legs quivering a little.

>A-aaahm j-jusht outta practice, gimme... gimme a shec!

Sunset just chuckled in response, but didn't further tease her.

„All the time in the world, Princess.“

>Ggrrrrmn-nnaaaah, yyyyyeesss!

*PLOP!*

>YESH! There! Did it!

Sunset carefully picked up the apple cider bottle from the wobbling telekinetic grasp of the other mare as the party around them continued, turning it over to inspect the glass.

„You sure did. Didn't crack the glass either when you opened it. Thanks!”

>Down wit' it, gal. We gotta long nite ahead o' us and ah ain't havin' ya more sober than I. Princess' orders!”

As the 'Chug, Chug, Chug!' chant started from the other Apple clan members around her and she downed the bottle in one go, Sunset realized she had never felt more at ease in Equestria than tonight.

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>Twilight
„Apples“
~~~~~

>Aaaah. Lab, sweet lab, how I missed you. No noise, no nosy predecessors, no stress, just Twience.

„Howdy, princess!“

>GYAAAH! What, who, why, when, what! How did you get in here?!

„Iunno. Ah was jus' wanderin' around, saw that here odd wall, pushed at it, and bam!“

„Cuz, there's some strange glass tube down here. Ah think they're brewin' sum Moonshine!“

„Whoa, nelly, jackpot!“

>No... no.... nonononono, please no! Sweet Celestia, how many of you are in here!

„Well, there be Auntie Apple Fritter, Cuz Sweet Delicious, Mommy Apple Blossom...“

>No, NONE of that! Get OUT!

„Awww, y'all sure? We won't be tellin' the other princesses yer brewing yer own partyjuice down here.“

>OOOOOOOOOOUT!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Mindfuck incoming
>Oh you have no idea.
~~~

Canon Deba-
>Oh no you don't, I'm not here for debates, I am through with debates! This is canon!

Uhh...

Discord rolls his eyes.

>Yes, thank you, I am aware of what I'm doing. Are you aware of what YOU'RE doing?

I don't...

>Yes you do, and don't think I haven't been paying attention. I know what's in that computer and you know I know what's in that computer but we know that the other dramatis personae in this farce you neckbearded imbeciles are writing emphatically do NOT know what is swimming around dear Twilight's computer like some kind of apocalypse cephalopod!

I'm working on it-

>No, do not work on it, I am here, and I was there. Put ME in, coach, so I can clean up this nonsensical mess before you muck it up any further than it already has been.

I'm going to write them-

>You're going to write them killing it. Which is the problem. Killing the monster is never the solution in this world, it's the rules you all created when you balked at those two con artists taking a dirt nap. That thing cannot be killed, even if it is dead, understand?

So what do I-

>You do exactly what I tell you. I am about to make the biggest sacrifice I think I can ever make, eugh, being in a story with an OC. I'll never get the stains off my dignity. I need to be in your little captain's office pronto, so get writing, neckbear, before we hit bump limit and I'm stuck waiting another thread for that cardboard cutout you call a character to be relevant!

I'll uh...I'll get right on that.

>Good, now hand me some of those pretzels...no, TYPE yourself handing me those pretzels.

Discord is handed some pretzels.

>Amateur.

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>Jetset
"???"
~~~

>This didn't have to last as long as it did.

The bound and gagged pony looked up to him with fear and terror, struggling in his bonds and gagging into the cloth on his mouth.

>If you would just tell me where, exactly, you dropped off the changeling, this all goes away, and you go home.

He choked, rocking his head from side to side yet again.

>What a pity...

He walked over to the tray carefully laid out on the table, examining each and every instrument on it.

>...I think I like this one the most...

He picked up what looked to be a cross between a corkscrew and a scalpel, admiring it in the light.

>What do you th-

"MMMMMMM!"

His instrument clattered to the ground out of shock when he turned around and looked at the pony tied to the chair.

The pony that was not alone any longer.

>No...

The conductors head rocked from side to side in the grip of the hooves mashed against it. His eyes bugged out, green flashes going on behind them and into them. He began to spasm, drool seeping out the corners of his mouth, and then slowly grew still.

Two black, chitinous hooves pulled away, and let the conductor grow limp.

'...yes.'

There was a flash of light in teleportation as Jetset briefly left reality. In the next, he struck down with everything he had, the knife already poised for the throat of the changeling before him.

But the changeling reacted too fast.

Took him completely off guard with what he expected.

Struck too hard.

Winded him far more than it should.

Buried him into a wall, and there he stayed, stunned.

>H-how... how did you...

'I'm sorry, were you expecting someone else?'

His head rolled back ever so slightly, allowing him to look upon the changeling across from him.

Watch, as they reached down... and put a strange, multifaceted helmet on their head.

'Because when her Majesty wants something done right, she doesn't send someone else.'

Forty Two gave a smile, and leaped towards the nearest window.

'She sends the best.'

The instant she passed through the window and was out of sight, Jetset swore he saw a flash of green in her wake.

But no time for that.

He had to get to his Queen.

He was hurt, so he would be slower, but he could still beat her.

He could teleport, he could make it there first.

So long as he had that advantage, she couldn't beat him in speed, she couldn't warn her own Queen in time.

He had the advantage...

He just needed to hurry.

~~~~~

Though he would never know, that same moment he made that declaration, the exact moment, the room containing the portal lit up with a green glow, and a previously empty room was empty no more.

She smiled, her training having continued to pay off once more, and stepped through.

Unknown to all, in this exact moment, a rapidly sobering Alicorn was cursing herself as she walked over to her office. She was only going to be in there for a moment, she decided. Just a minute, just to check up and make sure everything is going good, and then she was getting back to the party before she was totally sober.

Just a minute, she decided.

What she didn't know was, at that moment, 42 was beside her Queen, and whispering into her ear.

In the next, there was... a shift.

Soon, those who did not know... would learn.

They would learn of the rage.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

~~~~~~

There had never, in all the world, been a scream like that one before.

“APPPPPLLLLEEEJJAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!”

All of Canterlot shook when she arrived though the portal.

All of those with even the most basic ability to feel magic felt a tingle in their spines.

All of those who had the capability of fear in their hearts felt at the very least a twinge when she arrived, even if they did not know what for.

For though none saw her arrival into this land... they felt it.

One, in particular, was close enough that while she did not see it herself, she most certainly heard it.

And she felt it.

“...Uh oh...”

Applejack, in her own little world behind her desk, felt it first, felt it fastest, felt it so deeply that the alcohol still present in her system was dissolved, boiled away as her blood began rushing far faster than nature had ever intended or believed capable.

Even before Jetset arrived, she knew exactly why he had come, and knew it was far too late.

“My Queen! We need to get you to safety. I will hold her off while you-”

Then he was gone.

Casually tossed through the ceiling and through the skies of Canterlot by a magic unrivaled by anything Appejack herself had seen with her own two eyes.

Perhaps he would discover something on that perilous journey just as so many had before, but she doubted she would be in the mood for the no doubt stirring adventure by the time he found his way back to the city. Something told her this own journey she was about to embark on probably put it to shame.

And who better to send her off on this then her dear old companion...

There, on the other side of the wall, was Chrysalis. Her eyes were nothing but orbs of red, every single blood vessel having long since burst in a cacophony of inability to hold in the rage of it all, teeth showing hairline cracks as they threatened to burst from her mouth like dozens of pop rocks expoliding in the head. All the while she was consumed, radiating flames so powerful they melted the door in front of her. Confusing, since she didn't see or feel any heat from her.

Doubly confusing since that door was made of wood.

But if there was ever a time Applejack could not give a single cell of her horrified brain to the thought processing of physics, this was that time.

“...This about Twelve?”

The guttural, enraged roar that spilled from the Queen's lips could only be one of two things. Either it was a vocalization of a rage unparalleled in all the world with it's prime focus being to explain to Applejack on noise alone that she was about to feast on former earth pony heart, or the mating call of a eldritch horror beyond the comprehension of any mortal or immortal being.

She wasn't a gambler, but her money was on the former.

Applejack, country mare she was, knew of the benefits of talking out your problems.

She also knew the benefit of standing up and fighting when someone pushes you around.

Both options were proud Apple Family characteristics she aspired to.

...But perhaps there was some wisdom in the oft unused anecdote of her line.

~If the barn's burning down, don't try to out talk or out punch the fire.~

The only thing faster than an enraged changeling, now scientifically proven?

How fast Applejack could shove her big ass inside the nearest vent.

She would have to tell Twilight to document that.

“APPPLLEEJJAAAACCCKKKKKKKK!”

There had been a pearl of wisdom in the move of using the vents instead of the much more favorable window. It made sense when she thought about it, really. If she went out the window, Chrysalis would just have to out-fly her, and she could. The vent is smaller than Chrysalis, but barely big enough she herself could fit through. Ergo, she could escape here, but Chrysalis could not directly follow, and thus she could lose her in the maze of pipes.

What she did not take into account in her calculations, however, was the simple mathematic formula of “Rage > Physics”

If she had paid attention in math class, she might not have been surprised.

If she hadn't been so suffocated by the horror of the sound of warping metal and blinded by the all consuming light right behind her, she would have felt that surprise too.

“APPPLLEEJJAAAACCCKKKKKKKK!”

If there had been a worm within a thousand miles who could see her, it would have happily fed itself to a worm. After witnessing a squirming and wiggling like that at a speed that had never been achieved on this earth, it would have just accepted it had been surpassed, and it's time on this planet was over.

Thankfully Applejack would later notice, sweat tends to make someone slick enough to shoot through metal piping with speeds that were at best unhealthy, at worst something Applebloom would try to do on a bad day. Was it because of her fear, or the inferno of green consuming the world behind her? She did not know, and she did not care.

Only thing she cared about was making sure her legs were rolling faster than an overheated gear when she popped out of that vent system like a blown zit, and literally hit the ground running.

“APPPLLEEJJAAAACCCKKKKKKKK!”

The vent combination melted and exploded behind her, a face of pure hate emerging from it as if the secret vent to hell had been inside of Canterlot's pipes this whole time. This was insane, of course, since even the very demons of hell were currently calling someone with anger management training to deal with the ball of hate that tore off after the pony, but that is what it would appear to the outside viewer who had not gotten a good look and retained enough of their sanity that comprehending what lied in the center was still comfortably in the realm of impossibility.

“...Huh...”

For the mare who had been walking by at that exact moment grumbling about how they let the coffee get cold, she was still comfortably on the precipice of insanity.

Mostly because she was trying to piece together how the previously chilled coffee was now on fire.

“APPPLLEEJJAAAACCCKKKKKKKK!”

If a train had been possessed by the souls of a million angry cannibal murderers who also hated their mothers and did not care for the fresh taste of a good morning apple, Applejack couldn't help but feel if placed side by side with the roving thing nipping on her heels it would take some time and multiple passes to discern the difference.

Wisely, those in the castle knew when to stand up for their princess, and knew also when it was time to just sit back and wait for the magical necklace of the week to fix everything.

Well, most of them.

“Woo! Now I get to show this thing off! Peacetrotter! Use your ice-”

If she had looked back, Applejack would have been stunned by what she saw.

She did not care.

She would have to leave all of that to the guard who's jaw had hit the floor when he looked upon the robot he had been loaned, and would likely be the most expensive thing he ever owned.

Processing when you don't have all the pieces, even for a machine, is hard.

So it's no surprise he was simply unable to understand when there had been a front half of a robot one second, and then the next second there was no front half. It was not destroyed, it was not broken, it was not melted, there was simply put nothing there. It was as if the Queen's rage had sucked it into a blackhole of timespace, and made it simply cease to be.

He would be staring for a long, long time.

Applejack had no such luxury.

“APPPLLEEJJAAAACCCKKKKKKKK!”

All through the castle they ran.

They set fire to the curtains.

They scorched the rug.

They left a trail that was both straightforwards yet utterly incomprehensible to follow.

And never once did either of them slow down.

“APPPLLEEJJAAAACCCKKKKKKKK!”

It was only when, at last, Applejack's twists and turns in desperation to at the very least slow her down reached a dead end wall that Applejack truly knew what she, as a pony, was made of.

Well, sort of. She knew that, whatever exactly it was she was made of, it was something that when scared was stronger than a brick wall. Whatever computational biology made up the princess of apples was, it was powerful enough to turn fear into a primal force that could turn century old architecture into something akin to styrofoam. Without missing a beat, one second she was running through the halls, the next she was leaving behind a perfect imprint of her body behind, carved into that wall as if chiseled out by a master sculptor.

There was just one catch. While she had made a herself-sized hole, Chrysalis was never one to be shown up. As such, nothing less would suffice for her but the complete and utter annihilation of that wall and all it had ever loved. Thankfully, it was a wall, and had never loved any but itself.

Thus, the Architectural-artists-enthusiasts of the world mourned the loss of a great artwork.

“APPPLLEEJJAAAACCCKKKKKKKK!”

Impossibly, she picked up even more speed as she went through the courtyard where the greatest minds of Equestria gathered, a place of knowledge to be gained and prestige to be obtained. On most days, at least.

This particular day was spent watching an orange blur be chased by a ball of sentient rage, fire and hate. The moment they passed, everyone suddenly realized they had the words “APPLEJACK!” scorched into their clothes and occasionally fur in seemingly random places, and yet there was no fire nor heat.

No matter how many calculations they threw up as soon as they passed, none could put a mathematical formula to explain what exactly had just happened.

They hung their heads in shame. Science had failed.

“APPPLLEEJJAAAACCCKKKKKKKK!”

It wasn't the wisest choice to race through the new hedge garden taking root in what had once been the area behind the ballroom, but Applejack was just full of choices like this today. In one second, the old groundskeeper was peacefully clipping away at a stray leaf.

The next there was a whoosh of apple scent and then the scent of burning hopes and dreams.

In the last second, he was left staring gobsmacked at what had once been the fresh green hedges, now all smoking husks charred black that had somehow burned so perfectly they all spelled out “APPPLLEEJJAAAACCCKKKKKKKK!” In their the charred branches of their shrubbery remains.

It would take a lot of drinks before he came to terms with his inadequacy as a professional foliage artist by comparison.

“APPPLLEEJJAAAACCCKKKKKKKK!”

At some point, they must have looped around the castle at least once, for the sense Applejack had left behind suddenly re-entered into her brain as if she had run into it's ghostly form and was now carrying it along for the ride.

She knew this because she had been granted a single second to realize she was about to make a very, very dumb move an instant before it happened.

She cut a corner as she had a billion million trillion times as a filly while running and playing, hugging it so perfectly that her earth pony body slid just the perfect amount of not-touching and corner turning to give her a head start on any who pursued.

One issue.

Well, two, but the other wing wasn't to blame for this one. This one was the fault of dear, dear righty.

The slow motion that the world dissolved into in the next second would be one she would remember, probably cherish. In that moment, she understood love, life, peace and true understanding as to the complicated and varied nature of the illustrious apple. She had achieved nirvana.

And then her cheek hit the ground, and she remembered that the world hated her, and there was no true answer to the question of the apple. The apple was unknowable.

“APPPLLEEJJAAAACCCKKKKKKKK!”

That, on the other hoof, was very knowable.

She knew what it meant when that Queen stalled, and decided to sloooowwly begin walking towards her.

She knew it was going to suuucckk.

“PRINCESS!”

Two things normally happened when one heard the thunderous hoofsteps of the entirety of Catnerlot's finest. Either the sudden and armed appearance of what is essentially the entire army and all it's commanders is exactly what you were hoping for, or it was positively the last thing you wanted to happen, ever, depending on where you stood on the 'Victim - Criminal' scale.

Paradoxically, Applejack was not a criminal, really needed help right now, and this was somehow the last possible thing she wanted to happen.

When Bronze Pommel moved forwards, flanked on all sides by the greatest soldiers and a healthy brigade of robots as well, she should have felt the salvation of the heavens themselves descend upon her. She should have felt safe, wrapped up in their warm, giant soldiery embrace.

Instead, she was trying to calculate how many caskets that was going to be.

“Alright, soldiers! It's time to show her what Canterlot's best can-”

The sound that followed had no description, it had no way to put it in words that have yet been written on this or any other planet. It was a roar, it was a scream, it was an insult, it was hate, it was apathy, it was all of these things mixed in together with the laughter of a deity from the darkest pits of teenage goth's worst nightmare. It was not a call, it was a demand.

A demand that every single solitary one of Catnerlot's soldiers go flying through the air. They would have argued with the demand, but sadly one cannot argue with a sonic boom that cracked the entirety of the ground beneath them and shoves them with the force of a hurricane made of dragon punches and explosions.

As the soldiers fell to the ground a great distance away like giant white faux-snowballs, Applejack knew that Winter had truly arrived.

She now understood why everyone had so much of a problem with that.

“APPPLLEEJJAAAACCCKKKKKKKK!”

“You're goddamn right she is.”

A heroic crescendo seemed to play from nowhere and everywhere in sync with the sound of a gun cocking back and firing away, sparks of light ricocheting off the blazing Queen like fireworks set off in it's inferno. Swinging down from a higher window by a wound up curtain, a short purple shape skidded in between the rage of a Queen and the apple princess, dramatically holding his head low and shaded as he slowly brought his gun to his ear.

“And that's as close as you get to her, buggy..”

With a precision of a trained warrior, he rose to his full, slightly higher, height. Spine straight and eyes focused right ahead.

“You want Applejack?”

His claw snapped forwards, pointing his smooth silver barrel right at the blazing shape that had never once slowed down.

“You'll have to go through me you bug monster bit-”

THWUMP!

So, Applejack thought to herself, that's what it sounds like when you punt a hoofball.

Maybe when Spike got back to this general area he could tell her if the ball was supposed to arc like that.

“APPPLLEEJJAAAACCCKKKKKKKK!”

With her 'protection' now a good couple hundred or feet away and now most likely sporting a very unfortunate looking tattoo, it seemed to Applejack that at last her time had come.

And then it came.

“CHRYSALISSSS!”

A heavenly choir than sang into her ears as if Faust herself had broken open the clouds of the sky and descended from them carrying an apple fritter still fresh from the oven and a nice warm blanket with which to cover her while she read her a bedtime story. That voice was a sound that filled Applejack's heart with warmth, joy and finally allowed it to beat again to break the ice that had clogged her veins. It was a glorious, amazing sound.

“Chrysalis, stop!”

The sound of her enablers! At last!

The sterling white stallion was a sight to behold as he raced up to her side, standing at attention just as any ex-solider who had never really done anything important during his service should!

Which is to say, ran up and then sort of stopped and started talking while she kept walking.

“Chrysalis... I know you're angry, and believe me I understand. I'm hurt too, but you can't let your anger control you like this! You are bigger than this, you are more than just your rage and your hate. You know what you're doing right now? You're proving to her that you're exactly what she thinks you are, a danger. But you're not! You're not monster, and you're not a danger! So... come on, it's time to prove it. What do you sa-”

“GABRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARAAAARRGGHHHH!”

Applejack remembered a time when Shining had wanted nothing more in the whole world than wings so he could fly. When that flight meant everything to him, and he was willing to search to the ends of the earth for it.

She clung to that, she clung to that memory with everything she had and she told herself over and over that, somewhere deep down, he enjoyed what happened next.

Because the alternative was focusing too much on the fact that Chrysalis let out a roar of indecipherable rage that somehow ended up with another sonic boom going out and sending him soaring away, albeit at considerably less speeds than the others had been.

Still, speed is not important. What is important is those damn fancy mathematics that would haunt her for the rest of her days... or rather, the rest of her minute.

Chrysalis + rage – Shining Armor =

“APPPLLEEJJAAAACCCKKKKKKKK!”

“Can we talk about-”

Chrysalis, thus far in their year plus relationship, had been very bad about making her feelings known. She preferred to hide them away, and only do actions when none could see.

Never in her life did Applejack think she would truly, honestly, miss those good old days.

“GLK!”

How does one grip with a hoof? This was a mystery that, hopefully, her own soon to be corpse could shed some light on in the future. Perhaps if they examined where, exactly, her throats had collapsed in, they could figure it out.

She always did want to advance science in the world.

“APPPUUUUUULLEEJJAAAUUUUUACCCUUUUUUUKKKKKKKK!”

The princess didn't know what she expected her to say, that grip alone would have prevented her from saying anything, but seeing as how Chrysalis was currently shaking her like she held the last drop of ketchup and there was just that one stray hayfry to be coated, there wasn't much she could do but try to somehow mash her own discoloration on her face into vague symbols that would hopefully allow her to visualize that she had no way to respond verbally.

“APPPPPLLKKGGKKKGKKGKGGKKKKKKKGGGGGKKKKK!”

Her strangler had dissolved into primal, guttural noises by now. Very little of sanity remained, and with it, Applejack realized she had very little time left.

The darkness was starting to take over, starting to cloud her vision and blot out the light of the sun from her gaze. In these, what would be her final moments, she reflected. Had she ever truly danced as she had wanted to? Had her crops she planet taken root, and would they grow as she should? Was this, truly, the end of what she had started on this long winding road? If so, was the path she left behind her one she would walk again, if given the chance?

Would she ever get over the regret that, to this day, she could not figure out what granny put in her applezappersurprise to make it taste so good?

And what had Big Mac been hiding under his bed that one time?

And was Applebloom's interest in markings on her rear healthy, strictly speaking?

These were the questions she was left with, but not ones she clung to. Perhaps this was the end of her road. But if this was to be her end, she supposed a part of her always knew it was going to come from pissing off an extremely tall winged/horned equine.

She just thought it was going to be Celestia who broke and strangled the life out of her, that's all.

Oh well, she supposed it didn't matter. This was the end... of Princess....

“APPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLEEJJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”

CCCCCRKKKKKKKK

Hark, what was that, she wondered? A new heavenly choir? A new song of salvation? A strong, warm arm wrapped around her, holding her, cradling her under her barrel like chest and gently keeping her aloft? Was that what it sounded like when you died? The sound of teeth and bone being mashed together in an unnatural symphony of harmony? To be honest, she expected more fiddles, she was of the opinion someone should hear fiddles when they died, mashing bones and teeth just felt unsettling.

Her vision returned just in time, the instant she needed it to. Had it been a moment later, she would have felt regret for the rest of her life. She would have gone to her grave unfulfilled, lying in her deathbed with a frown and a pile of regrets. She needed this to be in her eyes and in her memories.

She needed that moment, frozen in time, when she saw Chrysalis's face twisted sideways, her jaw akimbo, and a ripples going all along that face of hers like sonic waves delivered to it by a hoof crunching in her visage like it was mashing in a wall of putty.

She did not know if The Great Apple itself had decided to freeze time to let her soak in every inch of this, or were it some other deity to whom she now owed her eternal soul, but to whomever it was, she felt it was a fair deal.

Getting to watch Chrysalis rocket backwards and flop ass over head rolling over and over again was just gravy on the potatoes.

Yes, she ate potatoes, they were the apples of the ground, and thus were great.

When the air finally returned to her brain in long, giant gulps, what had before been a few brain cells desperate to keep the lights on by burning their brethren now returned to full operation, only the haunted dreams of the few who had sacrificed their brothers to show it had ever happened at all, and the despaired dreams that would forever follow.

...She might've still been a little woozy.

“W-wha... wha?”

It clicked, right then, that there had been something very, very off about the hoof that had landed that blow.

It also clicked that there was something very, very off about the foreleg wrapped around her body and holding her off the ground.

Something was... missing in both.

As if there was a certain... hole in the lot of them.

She reach down a hoof, and poked.

Foreleg... foreleg... foreleg..........hole.

Foreleg... foreleg.... hoof.................hole.

She was off the ground.

Someone had punched Chrysalis.

And there were holes.

She didn't need to look, but she had to. She just had to. She had to confirm that this was not hell.

But when she looked up and saw a wide, grinning, wild eyed face, she found no such confirmation.

“...why...”

The Titan herself, the very pinnacle of changeling punches and rage, was smiling like she had just won a lottery... and that lottery somehow entailed the pony she was now clutching in her hooves.

She brought her face in low, way way too low for Applejack considering the thought that had just crossed her mind, and whispered low into her ear.

“...I'm winging it, and decided to go with option C.”

“...Wh-”

“Don't worry, AJ, I've got you!”

And there it was.

She would never again be able to hear the two letters “AJ” without hearing Queen Chitania speaking them. That part of her was now ruined and any memories that held them were now retroactively tainted. If she had not burned off every bit of non-essential cell in her body running, she would have vomited, but considering past actions she would have likely just shot out a puff of dried dust.

“Did you really think I was going to let that bitch hurt my buddy? Come on. Let's kick her ass together!”

And thus, the brain cells once more turned on each other. It was chaos, anarchy, civil war and treason all in one. Those that merely wanted to process what was happening were in a pitched battle with the rational part of her brain.

~Queen Chitania just said that!~ The processors cried!

~THAT'S FUCKING STUPID!~ The rational cried back!

Only when a hero emerged and pointed out that both of them were somehow right did the battle come to a close, treaty signed, and peace between the mind reigned.

They knew it was not going to last, but for now, the had peace.

“Now... let's see what- huh.”

Chrysalis did not walk.

She rose up, but she did not walk.

She had transcended walking. She had reached a level beyond mere mortal legs moving back and forth. She moved without moving, walked without so much as a muscle twitching. She had become as unto the puck on an air hockey ring, the greatest of all equestrian sports! In it's image, she was a god.

The most feared god of all.

A god of sliding forwards across the ground without moving.

“Give me...back... my... changeling...”

While the desire to get to the bottom of what the hell Chitania was doing was strong, it was nothing compared to the cold chill she felt at the unnatural sounding words pouring from Chrysalis's lips. It was distorted, as if she was somehow drowning on dry land, warped like the soundwaves themselves were trying to escape her lips in a warbling of fear stoked panic.

“You lost... my changeling... on another continent... you lost him... to someone who is experimenting you...”

The sun, as hot as it was, was nothing compared to the inferno in her eyes.

“... give... him... back...”

And through it all, Applejack's heart felt something besides the boiling of blood being shoved through it at speeds that made her blood vessels legal racing participants. She felt something besides the ache of her chest trying to expand ever further to fill the demand of air that the world itself could not supply. She felt something in there.

“...Ah' can't yet...”

Hello, regret, her old friend.

When that roar sounded again, it was one of frustration, of a different form of rage than the blinding ones that had been there a second ago. It was one of inability, yet need of ability at the same time.

“...You just lost a drone? For fucks sake, that's why you're mad at AJ? I thought this was something fucking important. Why don't you calm down and get over one drone, who cares-”

LASERS

Chrysalis, Queen of the last Changeling Hive, shot lasers from her eyes.

They were tiny, hot red lasers.

And she shot them.

From her eyes.

And they burned two tiny holes in the hair of the Titan Changeling on either side of her neck.

And then that Titan Changeling stopped talking.

She did, on the other hand, move Applejack eeeever so slightly away from her.

“...C-Chrysalis, Ah'm... Ah'm sorry.”

She meant it. She meant it with every beat of her bright red heart. She poured everything she had into that sorry.

“I DON'T FUCKING CARE!”

And it worked about as well as, well, as about as well as everything else they had thrown at the Queen thus far.

“I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF YOU'RE SORRY, I DON'T FUCKING CARE WHY! I WANT MY CHANGELING BACK, NOW!”

“Ah'm workin' on it, Ah' swear!”

“NOT! FUCKING! GOOD ENOUGH!”

“What do ya' want from me!? Ah'm tryin' ta' get him back and fix it, Ah' didn't mean ta' do it, it wasn't supposed ta' go like this, Ah' just need a chance ta' make it right-”

“GRRRAAGGGHHH!”

She felt herself move backwards as the massive changeling still holding her took two steps back, backing away from the explosion of fire and heat radiating off her. Even still, unlike the others, the Titan held firm against the wave of power.

“Chrysalis, please! It wasn't supposed to be like this!”

“HE MIGHT BE FUCKING DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU! DISSECTED! CHOPPED UP INTO LITTLE FUCKING PIECES AND EXAMINED SO THEY CAN USE IT AGAINAT THEM, ME AN ALL OF THEM, AND YOU THINK I GIVE A FUCK HOW IT WAS 'SUPPOSED' TO BE!?”

Her mouth clamped shut like a spring trap gone off. Both the weight of more power rolling off her and her own heartsearing regret keeping that from going any further.

“...W-what do ya' want me ta' do? Ah'll work with ya', just tell me what ya' want!”

“WHAT DO I WANT!? WHAT DO I WANT!?!? I WANT TO GO OVER THERE, AND EAT YOUR FUCKING SKULL RIGHT OFF YOUR HEEAAAD!”

“Not on our watch!”

Where they had come from, she would never know. Perhaps some internal, genetic signal had been sent out at the last moment like a conch shell, and called upon them to their location.

Or maybe they saw the giant plumes of flames going off into the sky every few seconds, whichever.

But regardless of how, the why behind the stampede of country ponies racing up was pretty obvious enough.

How they had sobered up so quickly could only be explained by 'family in danger' set off signals in their brain that told them that being drunk could go straight to hell, they got shit to do.

It was science.

“Ya'll wanna get ta' her, ya' gotta go through ALLLLL of us!”

Every single one of the Apple clan joined her in defiance, waiting and ready to fight back. They surrounded the other Queen, keeping in close as if they provided any protection at all that her tank like chitin could not.

To her credit, Chitania did not burst into laughter.

Less so, Applejack nearly screamed in horror.

“N-NO! GET BACK! SHE ACTUALLY CAN GET THROUGH ALL O' YOU, NO PROBLEM! PRETTY SURE SHE CAN SET YA' ON FIRE!"

Two particular ones stepped between them, the familiar red and green colors that must have come from bizzarro world, because instead of being happy to see them Applejack wanted nothing more than for them to be gone.

“Pfft! Ain't no fancy shamncy big bug gonna move me! Ah'm stickin' by mah' grandbaby and that's that, ya' hear? And iffin' ya' gotta problem with them, ya'll can talk ta' old betsy!”

“Eeyyyup.”

What, exactly, she thought the frying pan dubbed 'old betsy' would do besides melt, Applejack would never piece together.

“So iffin' ya' wanna mess with our cousin, Ah'll show ya' how we handle this APPPLLLOOSAN style! Yeehaw!”

No matter how many more joined, she knew it was pointless.

“MOVE! MOVE YA' IDIOTS!”

“Nnnnnope.”

Her eyes still orbs of red, Chrysalis began to move forwards, towards the crowd.

“...C-Chrysalis, Chrysalis come on now, Ah' know yer' mad at me, and ya' got every right ta' be! Ah'm not denyin' it! But please don't... Chrysalis, they're mah family! Don't hurt them ta' get ta' me, Ah'm beggin' ya!”

But she did not stop.

“Please! Ah'm actually beggin' ya' here! Don't! Jus- ya'll can strangle me again iffin' ya' want! Please! Don't hurt 'em! It ain't fair! Yer' stronger! Ya' ain't gotta prove yer' stronger!”

Above her, the Titan rumbled with a chuckle.

“Let her get in close. She's too unfocused with her mind magics to use them against me. In my Titan form, I can take her easily.”

“NO! NO NO NO! None of that! Iffin' ya' go big and ya' fall down... there's too many! They ain't gonna get outta the way!”

Even still, she did not stop.

“PLEASE! CHYRSALIS PLEASE! They ain't caught up in this! This ain't about them! This is between you and me, don't drag them inta' it and hurt 'em cause'a me! Ah'm sorry! Ah'll do whatever ya' want! Just please!”

She drew closer, and closer, but nothing could move her family, nothing...

“PLEASE STOP!”

She stopped.

Just an inch before touching Big Mac's shaking, twitching nose with her chest, she stopped.

Her chest still heaved with breath, her eyes were still nothing but orbs of blood red, and flames still licked from her nose, but she had stopped.

“...I want my changeling back.”

Her power fluctuated, changing, growing from intense heat to a strange, almost inverted cold.

“You have exactly twenty four hours to deliver. After that, I shall reign down upon you, and every single one who willingly stands in my way. Either deliver him to me, today, or I shall leave no more mercy in my wake, and I will hold back no longer.”

Shaking with fear, not fear of herself but those mere inches from what had been an unstoppable fireball not a moment ago, Applejack nodded as fast as she could.

“Ah'll... Ah'll get him back, Ah' promise! Ah' promise it! He's comin' home, and Ah'll make sure of it! Ya' gotta trust me, Ah'll do it! It's a promise! Ah' promise with everythin' ah' got! Ah'll make this right! Ah' promise it!”

The waving, empowered hair slowed down, and then stopped.

The chitin on her skin began to lose it's luster, obviously drained of a large amount of it's power.

Slowly, the magic within her healed her eyes, and the red bled away.

“...I don't believe you...”

Her hair flowed freely in the wind as she turned her body around, and once more was back down to earth, walking in a simple one two step.

Right into a wall of white.

There was only one princess who could look her directly in the eyes at her full height.

And right now, those eyes were filled with nothing but remorse.

“...I'm sorry I let it get this bad...”

A single golden encased hoof reached out and placed itself on the Queen's shoulder. A reassurance, for what little she could give, to the other.

“I understand... believe me, I understand what you're feeling...One way or another, he's coming home.”

“And if only... most of him, is coming home?”

She flinched, but regained her composure soon enough.

“...Then I won't hold back either, and it will never have the chance to happen again.”

She didn't coldly brush her off, as before. She didn't icily dismiss her. Instead, the Queen merely stared on, and walked past, not even giving so much as a look to the alabaster princess.

They all watched, made damn sure, that the Queen was all the way gone and gone before they let out a breath of relief.

“...Applejack?”

The white princess's tone stopped what building celebration had been forming, one of ice and cold feelings.

As if presenting a puppy, Chitania balanced the princess on the end of her outstretched hoof, and held her out towards the other royal.

“You are going to fix this, right?”

She nodded a yes.

It wasn't a sure yes.

“...It's been a few days since Shining asked you, yes?”

Another slow, remorseful nod followed.

“This could have been done already, yes? If you had worked with them?”

An unsure nod, a slow nod, but a nod all the same.

“I'm not going to punish you for this.”

Everyone, absolutely everyone, was stunned.

Except Chitania, she was just focused on the fact her ankle was cramping up.

“I'm sorry Applejack, but no, I've decided I will be much... much harsher. If he comes back in any form other than what Chrysalis remembers, you, Applejack, will get to pick your own punishment.”

“...Come again?”

“I said, you, Applejack, will get to decide exactly how you should be punished. However, when deciding your own punishment, you must treat the case as if it was she who had lost someone in this manner, lied about losing them, and then covered it up for days while all the while they might be having such horrible things done to them. All of that...”

She pointed, to each and every one of the apple clan.

And slowly the pit of her stomach fell out.

“And it was one of them that she had done this to. You, Applejack, get to decide how you would have reacted... if Chrysalis had hurt one of your family like this. At the end of this all, you will get to decide your own fate.”

With a sad, sorry sigh, she brushed past the crowd, and could look at Applejack no longer as she left.

“And I'll get to decide what that fate means.”

She couldn't think about it.

The idea that Chrysalis would manipulate and twist and try to get one of her cousins from her? It would never happen. They were apples to the core! They were family and so much more! No way would they ever let her do something like this...

But if she managed it...

What would she have done?

It was a harrowing, somber thought on her mind, and it weighed heavily as she looked out over all of them from her perch, from her podium that looked down upon her fellows. Her-

Wait a minute.

“LET ME DOWN!”

The Titan changeling, who's attention had thus far wandered off out of boredom, snapped back to reality.

“Oh! Right!”

She callously tossed the pony to the ground, clearing her throat before putting on a feral grin that only looked mildly out of place.

“Sooo, princess AJ, it seems that my fun has been-wait, shit, did I call you AJ again?”

“Yes! Why are ya' doin' that!?”

“Because Iiiiii... uh... know it annoys you! Right! That's why I'm doing this, right? Because it makes you mad. Right.... right?”

It was a sea. It was a literal sea of confusion that anyone could swim through. The Apple clan, all together, formed a literal sea of bafflement that any could dive right into if they so desired.

None could make a lick of sense of it when that giant black hoof prodded her, expectant.

“...I said, right?”

“Right!”

“Right! That's why I do it.”

“What are ya'll-”

“GAH!”

Very, very few things could make the apple family jump. Maybe an earthquake, occasionally a declaration that marrying cousins is legal from a relative who probably has had one too many that night, all that is a maybe.

The giant monster letting out a 'gah'? That was not a maybe, that was a definitely.

“...I mean, HA! At last I can show my true colors, whereas before I was just pretending to annoy you. Because that's what I do. Annoy you AJ-er, Applejack.”

“WHAT!?”

The Titan very 'subtly' cut her eyes to the side.

While 'subtly' making gestures with her hoof.

And even more 'subtly' clearing her throat.

“I said, I was pretending earlier to be on your side because I wanted to punch Chrysalis. That's all. There was absolute NO OTHER REASON for it. And you knew!”

“...Ah' did?”

“Yes.”

The 'subtly' became less... subtle.

At last, Applejack tore her gaze away from the changeling hopefully having some sort of a stroke, and followed those oh so subtle movements...

“...Oh, fuck-”

“WHAT A SCOOP!”

A reporter.

A lot of reporters.

All of whom were pointing their cameras riiight at her.

“...ooooh... fuck.”

Chitania tilted over, grumbling to her out of the side of her mouth.

“Don't worry, there's no way they saw-”

“Princess Applejack and Queen Chitania, working together!?”

“WHAT A SCOOOOOOP!”

At some point, an actual heart attack would have been more preferable.

Already on top of things, the princess was about to make her opinions on this 'scoop' very well known, and also perhaps be giving the violence this time instead of being subjected to it.

But, surprisingly, mostly due to Applejack's lack of speed thanks to a combination of exhaustion and weariness, Chitania was the first to step forwards.

“There is no scoop, we were not working together, I was just trying to punch Chrysalis... right?”

And yet managed to be no help at all when she ended her declaration by looking to Applejack for clarification.

“RIGHT!”

“Right! This was merely me trying to annoy her and then also getting in punches... right?”

“Why do ya' keep askin' me!?”

“I just want to make sure you agree with what I'm saying.”

“Whu-why-uh-”

“PRINCESS APPLEJACK! How do you respond to the allegations of you and Queen Chitania secretly being friends that I just allegated right now!”

Again, Chitania was quicker on the draw.

“Right!... Official statement! Myself and AJ are not, and have never been, and never will be, friends. It is true that myself and her joined in battle against the spore infection long ago, and it is true that I caught her when she fell back to earth, and it is true that she allowed me free reign of Canterlot and all its facilities, but this is not an indication of friendship!... Right?”

How the hell a totally neutral, unassuming, honest tone could inspire such a feeling in her as akin to a shark fin narrowing in on her as she swam in the middle of the ocean, she would never know.

She was honestly envious of the shark victim at this point, at least they were going to die shortly.

“RIIIIGHT!”

“Right!”

They all looked about as convinced as Applebloom was when she told them they found her in a cabbage patch.

“...I don't think they're buying it.”

“YA' AIN'T HELPIN'!”

“Well, sorry! What should I have said different? I thought that covered all the bases!... We're not friends!... That's what you want me to say, right?”

“NO!”

“So, wait, you want me to say we are friends?”

“NO NO NO!”

“So then the first one, not friends.”

“N- Ah' mean yes, Ah' mean...”

“What!? What do you mean you are so confusing! What more should I say? We're not friends, that other stuff is circumstantial, they'll believe that, right?”

“...WE AIN'T FRIENDS!”

“Right! And any rumors that she gave me a delicious scallop platter are false!”

“WHAT!?”

“They're false I said! False! Never happened! Did not! Tell them, Applejack!”

“IT'S FALSE!”

“See? False! One hundred percent false, and you can't prove otherwise!”

The hole just kept getting deeper.

With every single solitary word out of that Titan's mouth, she could see less and less of the light of day. Soon, she would hit the center of the earth, and burn away.

She longed for the release that death would grant her.

“STOP IT!”

She did.

The worst thing Chitania could have done right there, she actually did. She clammed up, shut her mouth, and kept a totally neutral face all the while.

“...WE AIN'T FRIENDS!”

No matter how she pleaded, no matter how she begged, not a one of them had moved.

She missed Chrysalis.

She honestly missed the ball of death and fire.

She missed it even more when Chitania's neck craned down, bringing her muzzle in nice and close to her ear. She covered her mouth so they couldn't possibly see it, but never once lost that blank, neutral expression.

“I'm going to keep telling the truth. Not going to hide anything or lie about it.”

She could feel it. She could feel, on her ear, a smile.

“But is anyone even going to read past the picture?”

She pulled away, and looked to the reporters.

“Clearly, my continued being here has negatively affected your views of mine and Applejack's relationship. I will reiterate, myself and Aj are not friends, we are not companions, despite what I said when you weren't around we do not fight together, and everything you saw before they showed up was an act, an act! None of it was real! That's not how I act when the public isn't around and that's final! We are not friends!... Back me up, AJ.”

She couldn't move.

Couldn't breath.

Couldn't do anything as Chitania shrugged, clearly unsure what to do, and then made a hasty retreat, being noticeably careful not to so much as bump one of the other apple clan who respectfully let her pass.

As the press lights started flashing, her family started getting up into a flurry of activity of talking and chattering and asking her if she was okay and if she needed help or if she could kindly explain what the heck was going on and why that there bug monster was trying to eat her like a starving rattle snake or anything like that, she found herself totally numb.

Wearily, painfully, she noticed that a grand total of six and a half minutes had passed since Jetset arrived in her office.

She was so, so very tired...

“Sooooooo...”

Braeburn, bless he heart, could not have looked less comfortable.

“...Do we invite her ta' the next family get ta'gehter, orrrr...”

WHUMP!

Check please.

Applehorse out.

~~~~

Epilogue!

~~~~

She found him not very far away. It wasn't surprising, she hadn't shoved him that hard.

Still, from the glare in his eyes one would swear that she had battered him in with her own hoof until he was black and blue.

So, either he was beyond angry that she had done that, or he really, really hated the green goo sticking him to the wall.

Little from column A, little from column B, in reality.

“Did Celestia get to you in time?”

“...How did you know?”

“...”

~~~~~~

“Why yes, Raven, that is a strange commotion going on over there. You don't suppose those Apple clan are getting out of control, do you?”

“I don't know, ma'am.”

“I suppose I should go over and check... what is that sound?”

“...”

“.............aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHCELLYHELPCHRYSALISISGONNAKILLAPPLEJaccckkkkkaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........”

“BUBBLEHORSE NOOOOOOO!”

~~~~~

“...Oh.”

He was being way, way more patient than he should, by all rights. He was, most likely, bottling up a lot of rage that was going to one day turn into a tumor and consume the world in it's stored anger.

But that was a story for another time.

“I'm sorry.”

This was the story was all about how Shiny's demeanor got flip turned upside down.

And he had to take a minute just hanging right there.

Because he knew from her look that Chrysalis actually did care.

“...She okay?”

She huffed, clearly bothered that he went to her first.

“She's fine.”

“Your jaw looks like she gave you one pretty good.”

“It was Chitania this time.”

He was going to have to put a pin in that one, and come back to it later.

“But she's okay? You didn't break her face in, did you?”

“...She's fine.”

“Good... because I'm not going to rant at a coma patient... probably won't rant at all, she's suffered enough.”

She never looked to him as she pulled him down, dissolving the green goo away with her magic.

“...I'm sorry.”

“You didn't hurt me.”

“...”

“Well, okay, little bit, but...”

He let out a slow, tired breath.

“...You stopped, right? She didn't make you stop?”

It was weird hearing her hiss, like one would swear air was escaping from those leg holes and deflating her like a balloon.

But nothing could deflate that ego, not really.

“Chrysalis... you know what? I'm not even in a position to judge. I've gone pretty bonkers when someone hurts someone I care about too.”

“I'm sorry.”

Three times.

That was easily triple her normal record!

“...Chrysalis? I... okay, fine, I forgive you. You weren't thinking straight, and so long as you didn't actually kill Applejack, I'll understand that you had your reasons. I'm not going to tolerate it if you do that to me again, but I guess this one time I have to accept that... yeah, that was a pretty terrible thing she did, and you had every right to be mad. Okay?”

Her shoulders shook a bit. He would have to assume that was moping changeling code for 'shrug'.

“...hey, Chrysalis?”

She looked at him with those same dead, emotionless eyes.

Which covered her up about as well as a fresh new pane of glass.

“He's going to be fine, okay? He's probably just fine, Applejack will get him back in time, and this will all be over soon. She messed up, but she never wanted this to go this far, and would never put one of them in danger intentionally. I still believe in her, so... just work with me on this, will you?”

He could still feel it.

Her skin was still hot, almost searing, from what she had been before.

“And if he's not fine...”

But he never lifted his hoof from it.

“We'll all deal with it, okay?”

Only silence answered him for a while.

He didn't need anything more.

“Good... now, let's go see if Applejack is still a mare of her word.”

"..."

"...And maybe put out some of those fires..."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC [Editor's note: Happens before Ragealis.]
>Applejack
“Sunset”
'Twilight'
`Rainbow Dash`
-Fluttershy-
=Rarity=
+Pinkie Pie+
{???}
[???]

COCK-A-DOODLE-DO! Went Applejack's alarm clock, while it reminded her of home, it just wasn't the same. She groggily shuffles from under the covers of her big bed, embracing the warmth of the sun.

>Dangit, how much did I drink last night?

She rubs her eyes, trying to focus on how many dressers she had in her room, looking around she gathers her surroundings... particularly a lump in her bed.

Her mind raced as quick as it could with the massive hangover, what could be under the covers?

She reached out slowly, grabbing the cover and slowly pulling it down.

>Please don't be a decapitated head, please don't be a decapitated head...

And the covers came off, revealing a familiar face.

>Sunset!?

“Oh hey Jackie” Sunset tiredly said as she rose out from the covers

>Jackie!?

“You don't remember? Because I'm pretty sure it must be stuck inside your head after what we did last night”

>Uhh, and what did we do last night?

“Well... let's just say I've learned much from your... techniques” she said while blushing a deep shade of red

>No no no no no, please Celestia's mom have mercy on me

“Well, I asked for it last night and you certainly wasn't giving it”

>... Did anything else happen?

“Well, I could go into the details but I'm sure Twilight knows more, you dropped her off at her lab before coming back here”

>Twilight?

“Yep, apparently some of your family members were very persuasive in getting her to loosen up a bit, she might have had a bit to drink, and what happened next came naturally, I suppose”

>Uhh, I need to go see her, right now

Applejack zoomed off, leaving a dust trail towards Twilight’s lab

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

>Twilight, you in there?

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

'Not so loud! I have a massive hangover right now and I do not need this' Twilight said as she opened the door

'Oh Applejack, it's you'

>Twi, what happened last night? Did I do anything wrong?

'Oh you did nothing wrong alright, I think you did everything right'

>...

'It was even better than the books I've read on the subject, it's much better to learn hooves-on, don't you think, Applejack?'

>Oh Celestia kill me now... Applejack muttered

>Did anything else happen?

'Well if I recall, Rainbow Dash heard the noise from Cloudsdale and convinced herself to have a break from learning the paperwork, I think I saw you chatting with her for a bit'

>Where is she now?

'How would I know, it's not like I planted trackers on you guys'

>...

'She's in ballroom'

>Thanks Twilight, gotta go

'No, thank YOU, Applejack'
>...

Applejack ran off towards the ballroom, previously contained a multitude of changelings, now just one rainbow-maned pegasus.

>RAINBOW DASH!

`FORM 10B SHOULD BE FILED UNDER...wait, what?`

>Rainbow Dash, did anything happen last night?

`Oh nothing much...`

>Phew.

`Except that little thing we did in the clouds`

>Oh no.

`Yea I'll admit, you were pretty good, but I was still 20% better`

>... That aside, anything else you remember?

`I think I saw you walk off with Fluttershy somewhere, well and a gaggle of cotton candy geese`

>Do you remember where?

`Probably the gardens, you know how she loves animals`

>Thanks Dash

Applejack raced off once more towards the garden, hoping that it wouldn't come to what she thought it would.

When she reached the gardens, she saw Fluttershy lying on a bench, surrounded by squirrels made of various types of candies.

Applejack managed to get the squirrels to go away and nudged Fluttershy awake

-Hmm, oh hey Applejack, what are you doing here?-

>I came to ask you if I did anything... weird last night

-Oh it wasn't anything of importance...-

>... But something did happen?

-Well let's just say that those might have been the loudest screams I've ever done-

Applejack inched back in shock, hoping her brain would come up with a plausible explanation for all this

Nope, none came

>Well... uh did anything else happen?

-Well, I remember you and a bunch of your family members going off to the Cakes' bakery in Canterlot, probably to get something sweet to eat?-

>Thanks Fluttershy, gotta go!

When Applejack reached the bakery, it seemed like a tornado of sugar, confetti and balloons had swept through the place.

Applejack walked up to the counter and poked Pinkie a few times to get her to wake up.

+Oh hey Applejack, great night, huh?+

>Please tell me I didn't...

+Well, Your family sure know how to party, it was almost as crazy as one of my “Special parties”+

After recovering from the shock, Applejack said goodbye and walked out of the bakery.

She walked for a little while before bumping into Rarity, whose hair was slightly messier than it usually was

=Oh Applejack, it's so good to see you again darling=

>Uh, that's a nice hairdo you got there, Rar, some new style from Manehatten?

=Oh no, this was from our little romp session last night, You were QUITE the barn animal in bed=

>...

=I have to go now, I have a hairdressers appointment, it's going to take all day to get this back to normal=

Rarity walked off, leaving Applejack in a state of confusion and turmoil

>Could this get any worse?

...

{Oh it's you.}

>... Chrysalis? What are you doing here?

{What, you think I couldn't feel all the love pouring out of this city last night?}

>Right, bet you had plenty of people to suck the love out of.

{Not a lot, just one.}

>No.

{You were pretty good, for a bitch such as yourself}

>NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

{Funny, that's not what you were screaming last night.}

Applejack ran off at full speed, towards Canterlot castle, hoping to talk to someone to calm her nerves

She barged into the throne room, where Celestia was sitting, with a big cake beside her

[Oh Applejack, what bring you here?]

>Ah.. ah may have made some terrible terrible mistakes, and I have no idea what to do

[Oh come now, what could you possibly have done?]

>Ah crossed a line, several lines in fact and now I've found myself in a hole so deep that there is no ladder long enough to get me out of it

[Well, I don't know about that, but you know what lifts me up? Some cake, here have some of this one]

>Thanks Celly, dunno what I would do without ya.

[Oh, perish the thought Applejack, I'm always here for my fellow princesses]

Applejack cut a big slice of cake, and as she's about to take a bite, she notices something written on the plate

She lifts the cake up and on the plate, there was a message, written in big bold letters

YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D

She stared at the message for a few seconds then quickly lifts her head up to look at Celestia, who now has the biggest shit-eating grin on her face

[That'll teach you to get drunk and demolish half of Canterlot]

Celestia teleports away, leaving Applejack with the reddish shade possible on her orange fur

>FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>Spike
"???"
~~~~

>...You know, I saw that going SUPER different in my head.

"You don't say. How'd you see that going?"

>Bullet to the eye, dramatic twist, 'you're safe now, Applejack', swoon, maybe get to second base at last.

"How'd it actually go?"

>I see a hoofprint where my spleen is. I'm pretty sure that's permanent now.

"Mmmhmm... that's a pity."

>...by the way, Welcome back, Cheese.

"Yep, great to be back."

>Speaking of backs...

"Oh, just snapped right in half, don't know if I'll ever walk again."

>Uh... sorry.

"..."

>...You were very soft.

"Thank you! I try to remain huggable."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>Pommel
"Soldiers"
~~~~

>...So! That was uh... that was a good first effort? Good teamwork?

"Oh yeah, we fell in perfect sync. It was a masterpiece of choreography."

"You'd think we were right snowflakes we were."

>...Well, now we know how to improve!

"Overpower a being beyond our capabilities?"

>With MOXIE!

"..."

>...Please don't let Applejack be dead, I will be SO fired...

"If nothing else, it'll be one memorable career."

"Brightest candle burns out the fastest..."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>Jetset
"???"
~~~

>...I think I am having an off day... what do you think, giant monster clown?

"A-HYUK, I THINK YOU'VE GOT A CONCUSSION!"

>That sounds reasonable, giant monster clown. I'm glad we are friends.

"YOU'RE BLEEDING OUT INTO YOUR SKULL, WHOO HOOOO!"

>May your words of wisdom never leave me.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC

>???
“12”
‘Screwloose’
~~~~

“Screws, if I-”

The guttural sound of a cat being stroked just right emanated from Screwloose’s throat at the sound of her nickname, her concentration stuttering not once, but her grin did grow somewhat.

“…Yeeeeah, uh… anyway, what was I saying again?”

‘Something something, water, something, don’t like it, something something, perv. You can start there.’

“Ah, yes, that’s right! As I was saying, I swear on my Queen, if they come in here one more time and try to hose me down without my consent, I’ll… I’ll-”

‘Hide next to me while picking whichever one of my hooves happens to be holding a scalpel and start jabbing it at them? Like last time?’

“Yeah! And this time, I might actually scratch someone!”

‘Such a cute little badass you are, perv.’

“Tch, they don’t understand what I can do, you know? I’m a changeling, I have powers! …And stuff!”

She snorted, idly shaking a few droplets of red from her hoof.

‘Great. Thanks to you making me laugh, I nicked a vital artery.’

“Um… that thing was dead before it left the test tube, Screwloose.”

‘And? Didn't you know that, oxymoronically, death provides the greatest of answers to life’s many mysteries? You’d be surprise at the many juicy secrets a corpse is willing to, ah… spill.’

“…Annnnnnd skipping lunch.”

‘HA!’

That terribly familiar short burst of a laugh against Twelve’s ears caused him to cringe.

So hard in fact that when the ceiling suddenly caved in as though struck with a meteorite, he was still caught up in shuddering.

But he did scream. Shrilly at that.

Staring transfixed at the area where her table used to be, now reduced to nothing but splinter underneath the body of an unconscious stallion, Screwloose glanced at her scalpels, then back, her smirk growing twisted.

‘Well, well, well… what fresh specimen do we have here?’

“What in the hell was that?! Who the hell is this?!”

It must have been the pitched sound of yelling that roused him for the stallion slowly, very slowly, lifted his head, and though the other two present couldn’t see past his shades, he fixed the changeling with a bleary glare-

>F-fuck your Queen….

And then promptly passed out.

“Hey! Don’t you talk like that about my-hold on, wake up!”

‘Goodness golly me, things never stay quiet for long, do they?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>Sunset
“Variolus”
~~~~

>Where the ffffffffffffffffff- HOW?! How hard can it be to find the one princess with apples on her ass duking it out with a Changeling Queen on FIRE! I was having fun! Why does every time I am having fun turn into the apocalypse!

“Hey, meatbag. What'd I mi-...oh shit, you snapped and destroyed Canterlot, didn't you?”

>Oh. Right. YOU are riding shotgun in my body. That's why.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>Chitania
"SN"
~~~~

>...

"Awww, did I miss the fight? I dressed up and everything!"

>...where did you get a cheerleader uniform?

"What do you mean? I always have one on hoof just in case a client wants to-"

>NEVERMIND!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"???"
'SA'
~???~
~~~~~

>...Huh.

'Yeah, you kind of did a number here.'

>...I'm not paying for it.

'Kind of your fault.'

>Don't be ridiculous, it was Applejack's fault for running.

'From the giant ball of angry and hate. Yep. Totally see why she should've stayed put with that one.'

>...

'...Okay, fine, TECHNICALLY-'

"CHRYSALIIIIISSSSSSSSSS!"

A ball of power and magic exploded in front of her, erupting like an angry jawbreaker that had come to life and wished to fulfill it's destiny of it's namesake.

Somehow, the thought of sentient bonebreaking candy was preferable to the look the purple unicorn gave her.

Somehow still, that look was far preferable to the waves of magic rolling off her.

"CHRYSALISSSS!"

>...Hey, Twilight-

"NO! SHUT UP! DID YOU HURT MY FRIEND!? DID YOU SERIOUSLY GO AFTER APPLEJACK!? NO! NO NO NO! I PUT UP WITH A LOOOOOOOOOOOTT OF STUFF WITH YOU, BUT THERE'S LIMITS HERE! And either you give me a good reason right now why you dared touch one of my BEST FRIENDS or I am going to STRANGLE YOU FAR WORSE THAN YOU DID HER AND MAKE IT PERMANENT!"

>12 might be dead.

Chrysalis, being of the malicious sort, had seen many a time when a balloon had slowly deflated after a single prick to it's frame.

Likewise, she was well versed in the look of a despondent child as they watched that balloon deflate.

Somehow, like an unholy fusion born of mad Twience, Twilight looked like both.

"...And this is Applejack's fault?"

>Yes.

"...Aaannnd-"

'And she... kind of lied about it and probably made the problem way, way worse because now we're a couple days behind... whatever it is they're doing to him.'

"...A-and she lied to... Chrysalis?"

'...me, actually...'

Fweeeee.

Flup.

No popping, no explosions, just a whole lot of air leaving her sails and then a wet plot where once had been something ready to burst.

Twince could have lead to that metaphorical balloon inflating again.

...But Twience couldn't put all things back together.

"...W-well, still, this was too much!"

>Did I mention that, according to Forty Two, this place he's being sent to was, according the conductor who took them there, a place where experiments got dropped off, and never picked back up?

"...Didn't mention that, actually."

>Glad I could bring you up to speed.

"And Forty Two knows this becauuuse-"

>Because she tracked down the conductor at the same time Jetset was 'interrogating' him, ineffectually?

"..."

>...Someone should probably go untie that guy.

"Well, s-still! You hurt a lot of others getting to her, that's not okay!"

>Oh, right, Spike should be walking back soon. Kicked him pretty hard.

'Actually? Might take him a bit to get back to Canterlot.'

"YOU KICKED SPIKE OUT OF CATNERLOT!? OKAY! SYMPATHY GONE! I-"

'Uh...'

"..."

~~~~~Minutes ago!~~~~~~~

As the dragon tumbled through the air, the eyes of a protector laid upon him.

Within the breast of Shining Armor, a need welled up, the indomitable need to protect all that he loves!

Heroically, he reached out to the dragon well before he ever reached the ground, and cupped the frame of his younger brother in the grasp of his magical sphere like a father would protect their child in their strong, powerful arms. He covered him in that shield, and he felt-

TINK!
ROLLROLLROLL

"..."

~SHINY YOU DUMBAAAAAAAAaaaasssss...."

Perhaps, had the situation not been so dire, he would have turned around and followed the dragon as he rolled away on what was sure to be a long, long, long journey off the side of the city.

But that shield would hold, and there was danger to cease! AWAY!

...He'd be fine.

~~~~~~

"..."

'...Someone should probably go help him back up.'

"...Still, not okay..."

>...

"...Did she really lie to you, Shiny?"

'Yeeeep.'

>...

"...conflicting feelings, put this one on hold till she gets him back?"

>...M'kay.

'...Sooo-'

"Yeah, let's go put out some fires."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>29
"Luna"
~~~~~

Into 'his' room she crept, as quiet as a thief in the night, as subtle as a wisp of the mist of a cool morning air.

She stood to her full impressive, regal height above that bed, her starlight mane positively brimming with power.

Even still, she needed a moment to collect herself when she looked upon the changeling lying in a bed of silk beddings, goosedown pillows, and had his face positively slathered with a green facial mask and cucumber slices.

She tried very, very hard not to think about the fact he was a changeling, and thus none of that made any sense.

With an inflation of her chest, she prepared to let loose a booming full roar of the royal canterlot voice.

>SNNNNKKKKZZZZZKKKKKKKK!

Somehow, he managed to be several dozen volumes louder with his snoring.

"...Twenty nine!"

>ZZZZZNNNNNNKKKKKKKKK!

"...Twenty Nine!"

>SNKHK! SNK! GLLKKNZZZZZ!

"TWENTY NIIIIIIIIIIIII-"

>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

With a girlish scream, he shot up in bed, and promptly became tangled in the sheets and covering himself completely. Soon, he flopped to the ground, a ball of cloth and squealing in fear, and proceeded to bounce around like an explosion going off in a rubber ball.

>AHHH! AHHHHH! AHHHH! MAREY! MAREY GET THE GUN! SHOOT TO KILL! SAVE MEEEEEEIDUNWANNADIEDON'TLETTHEMTOUCHMEEEEEEHHEEEHEHEEHHEE!

"TWENTY NINE!"

His head popped up from ball of sheets, now thoroughly smeared with his facial mask.

>...Princess Luna?

"Verily!"

First he was happy.
Then he was very unsure.
Then happy again.
Sad
VERY happy
Very destroyed
Giving her 'that look'
Then settled for looking like he wanted to cry

>...This is cruel.

"Put away any of thine thoughts of thou's disgusting nature! Instead, we come to you with an offer!"

>...Cousin, I am but a changeling.

"NOT THAT OFFER! Instead, we say to thee that we have seen thou hath a grand ability! Thine skills be unfocused, but with time, thou can learn to master them!"

>...And you're sure this isn't-?

"NO!"

>Really? Because I am VERY skilled at-

"WE SPEAK OF THINE SIGHT BEYOND!"

>...Mine what now?

"Speaking of it is hard, instead... we shall show thee what we mean."

Archaic runes appeared around her, each one casting an ethereal, unnatural light. She began chanting in an ancient tongue a power cackling off her lips with every breath taken. All around her, the power raged, fluctuated, shifted and twisted.

The ghostly wail unknown to this world filled the room, and at last her power was unleashed. Like a horn calling to those beyond the room was shaken with a booming thrall of sound, and a blinding, heavenly light blazed past his shut eyelids and into his covered eyes.

And then, in the next moment, the room was filled again, but not with the light.

All of them, so many many children, filled the room. On ever corner, floating on every surface, like dancing nymphs of light and innocence they stayed.

And as her power lowered in the crescendo, Luna spoke again.

"...BY MINE MOTHERS REAR END! There are FAR more of these than we thought! How-wha- WHY ARE THERE SO MANY!? THIS IS INSANE! THIS IS.... a-hem!"

Her composure was back shortly.

"...A-HEM... Do you see now, Twenty Nine, what we spoke of? Thou hast a gift of attracting those lied beyond, a skill thine likely did not know of before now! We admit, thou art... old, very old in comparison. We do not know if at all it would be possible to hone thine skills to that of a master, but with time thou could cultivate these magics, the magic of those past beyond, into a skill that-"

>What did thou do?

"...Beg thine pardon?"

>Thou cast a light so bright and wavy, but it didn't do anything. What did thou do?

"...We... I don't..."

Frantically, she pointed in every direction.

"THE CHILDREN!? HELLO!?... We might've jumped the gun on this one-"

>What about them?

"...Again, we ask, what?"

>What about the children?

"...THERE ARE FLOATING CHILDREN IN THINE OWN ROOM!"

>Uh huh.

"THEY ARE DEAD!"

>Well, obviously. But what changed? They look no different from when thou begin thine lights and magic so grand.

"..."

>...

"...C-could... could thou ALWAYS see them?"

>Crass though mine words may be, a duh.

".."

>...

"...Well, uh... thou actually... has a pretty good headstart. Most don't reach this level till... well, their late eighties or so. So, very good headstart."

>A headstart for what?

"...A-hem... TWENTY NIIINE! WE COME TO THEE WITH AN OFFER! Thine abilities are grander than you know, more beyond just sight is within thine grasp! Come with us, allow us to teach you, hone you in the ways of the soul's magic, and we shall teach thee to use these gifts as thou never thought possible! Wonders shall be shown, new things shall be-"

>Can I still help them pass on? That is a dealbreaker.

"...Obviously. Thine training will be of how to guide souls more effectively in addition to the magic. And if thou takes our offer, we-"

>Okay.

"...."

>....

"...Okay?"

>This magic is rare, right?

"VERY rare."

>...I'm going to have to beat off the royals with a stick.

"Come again?"

>VERILY! I said to thee that I accept this prestigious, very important, very rare and very well paying position from thee! I know that is shall be hard, but I know in mine heart that all the political power and wealth shall-

"This doesn't pay."

>Oh dear, I suddenly have found no time in mine own schedule! Damn thee, concept of time!

"..."

>...Sigh... this will help me move them to the happy place faster?

"Thou calls it the happy place?"

>...

"...yes, it will."

>Well, then I SUPPOSE that, despite the lack of wealth and prestige and royals servicing me, I accept thine offer to be taught so long as I may still help dear Mayor Mare in her work!

"..."

>...What?

"We are reconsidering..."

>...

"...Well, if nothing else, thou will be a good training exercise.

>Wait wh-

"TRAINING STARTS NOW!"

*ZAP!*

"...Thou were not ready."

>OW!

"This is not a good start."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Sunset
"Variolus"
'???'
~~~~

>Just going to check on something, she said, just going to freaking be right back, she said, not going to be long, she said!

"And yet-"

>WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!? Why was there fireballs!? Why is that shrubbery spelled like that!? Why is everything MELTED!?

"Hrm... it's actually quite interesting. What could have caused all of this?"

>I don't know, but all I know is that I'm going to find Applejack and-

'Hi!'

>Hi. Find Applejack and-

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

>And there is screaming in my head. Why- oh, okay. My legs are moving on their own now.

"RUUUUUUUNNNNN! RUN FOR YOU LIIIIIIIFFFFFFFEEEE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

'Hey, where ya' goin'!? I just said hi!'

>Sorry, I guess I'll talk to you laterrr....

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...."

Now alone, Arana shrugged to herself.

'Was it something I said?'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________