Bingle annoys everyone

Part I: Clara and MilAnon

>The day has come for your long planned summer BBQ
>You've invited a few people over to your house and everything was ready
>Beers, various hard liquors, burgers and steaks, and even oysters to boot to throw on the grill
>A small assortment of soda as well for the kids who didn't want big boy drinks
>You were expecting Mous and his wife Jasmine at any moment
>Emi might show up a bit late and you weren't too sure about the 'Mechanic' and his lovely wife Lilith
>Clara, your amazing snow leopard wife, was sitting on the couch playing video games while you sat with your cub Lucatiel, relentlessly tickling her little paws and making faces at her
>Eventually you hear a slight knock at the door
>"It's open!" you call out
>Emi, a tigress of normal stature has her head through the door and upon seeing you, smiles and steps inside
>"Hey Anon! Hi Clara! Am I the first one here?" she asks looking around the room
>You nod as Lucatiel cooes
>She finally spots the ball of fur in your lap, and you're almost terrified for her safety as the much larger one is immediately by your side
>"Aww can I hold her for a bit? I love this little cub!" she's a little too excited about it
>Still, you smile and carry Lucatiel over to her, and the moment she's in her arms a wide motherly grin comes forth
>Your girl could be used as a hospital grade sedative from the way Emi was careful holding her
>These big cats and their motherly instincts helped quite a lot, too
>Sitting back down on the couch you looped an arm around Clara who is staring at a menu in Destiny 2
>"I want to make one of these Hunter capes for Halloween, babe," she said admiring her character
>"Can't wait to see it," you say through a laugh as she's now fighting off giant 4 armed aliens who rudely interrupted her
>She's still active as ever when playing games, bouncing around joyfully while she got her revenge
>It wasn't long before the(and you never really did ask for his name) Mechanic and Lilith arrived
>The man wore casual with the short raccoon matching, and both of them holding a tray of sorts
>They gave a couple of "Hey!"s when they joined in the party
>You had to save Clara from a gigantic spherical robot that she happened to forget as she ran towards Lilith
>The sound of wrenching metal and the sight of sic dance moves drowned out their talk about woman stuff
>The Mechanic is leaning over the couch with a tray in hand
>"Beers are in the fridge," is all you say to him
>"Cool, I brought ribs," he replied in his gruff voice
>"You invite Chickenman?"
>"Yessir, both Mous and Jasmine," you gave with a nod
>"Cool, owe him a bottle of whiskey and I brought it just in case"
>You laugh and keep playing while he heads to the kitchen
>Beer in hand and opened with that tray still in his hand, he's over by your sliding glass door
>"Mind if I start cooking the ribs? Lilith likes them a certain way"
>"You do you man"
>He's out the door lighting the grill with the trio of women all fawning over Lucatiel
>She seemed to be loving it from the giggling she made
>The sound of a car with terrible gas mileage but a lot of give told you the Chickenman and crew were finally here
>"Hey guys," you call out to them while you stood from the couch
>Another man and his generously sized tiger wife were stepping through the door
>You paused mid stride at the third coming in
>...Though this being your party and feeling incredibly resilient to Italian disasters, you still made the effort to shake his hand
>"Hey man, beers in the fridge, the Mechanic is out back starting some ribs, and he brought you a whiskey or something"
>"Nice. By the way this is Bingle," he gestured to the Anthro standing behind him, "his mom asked me to bring him along," he finished with a potentially strained grin on his face
>You took a look behind him
>Bingle was attempting to straighten his hair while texting on an expensive new phone model
>Noticing you, he gave a wave with a paw that held it, and on the screen was that exact same pose with multiple filters layered on it
>Oh, he's going to be a fun one then
>Still, you haven't actually talked to the guy yet
>When everyone else had settled on in, the third wheel stepped in after
>You weren't really sure if he was a fox or a wolf, and his all jet black fur and unusually brilliant blue eyes further confused your limited knowledge of canines
>When he made his way to the kitchen your attention went back to Mous
>You assumed Jasmine joined in on Lucatiel's mobbing from the sounds of more giggling behind you
>"I see you still have that rust bucket El Camino, you should get a Pontiac"
>"Nothing beats it man - besides, if I wanted a Firebird ripoff I'd get a Camero"
>So far so good; this was going to be a good night


>The night had settled, and after everyone had a few drinks the lot of you were currently lazing about and played Cards Against Humanity
>People were starting to get a little tired into the game, and even more so when Lucatiel finally managed to conk out
>The sleeping arrangements were already planned and ready, thankfully
>You had Mous and Jasmine set up in the Guest room
>The Mechanic and Lilith got the just as comfortable spare bed in your game room
>Emi not so surprisingly suggested your's and Clara's room
>And Bingle got the couch
>At least attempt to have anyways, you weren't too sure if your cat would like to give up her bed to a stranger
>Not that you would mind if he couldn't, as Mr. Peppercorn Starshake here was sitting there spewing verbal diarrhea to you in an ill advised attempt at impressing you
>"That's what they call me! Seriously! But even then, I get to bed all those Anthros you've ever beaten off to"
>You can see the Mechanic slowly getting pissed as Bingle kept talking and wouldn't pick a goddamn card
>You know he's always been a bit quick to anger, but talk of his casual adventures through STI land were starting to grate on you too
>He was the one who had the most drinks in the group, with you being a respectable third
>You weren't entirely sure who got second but frankly that wasn't important right now; not when his current boasting of personal greatness always lead to an eye or two staying a little bit longer on Clara and Emi
>A bit of relief to the sewage came from you hearing Lucatiel cry in the other room
>Clara began to make a move to get up, but you waved her down and stood up instead
>You needed to get away from that fox (which Mous had corrected you on,) and calm down
>Lucatiel calmed down a bit when she saw you, and cradled in your slowly rocking arms your cooing got her even more so
>You thought you accomplished all those things, anyways as her crying little eyes clenched down even more
>She must of been hungry
>Still cradling and rocking her in your arms, you carried her back to the living room
>You got Clara's attention when she heard her
>"She must be hungry and wants her mama," you confirmed
>Soon the gentle rocking of your arms was replaced by the thicker, furrier ones of Clara
>She moved from her seat and sat on the couch
>"None of you mind if I breastfeed her here, right?"
>A choir of no's, in various levels of drunkenness, answered back
>You were already on your way to grab a blanket to cover them just for the sake of decency
>When you came back however Bingle had moved next to Clara
>A little close, much to your displeasure
>"Lactating huh? I've done a few shoots with ladies who did - some of the milk was bitter, but I bet yours is reaaalllly sweet"
>youfuckinserious
>You cleared your throat
>"Watch it little fox," you growled out
>"Hey I'm allowed to talk to this fine lady about her breast milk!" he protested back looking at you
>Now, you can respect the effects of alcohol
>It didn't save him from your perfected military scowl, sharpened from years of service that could wilt even the highest generals before it
>You had it set to eleven as you stared the little fox down
>Like the glass flower he is, he shattered under it
>He still had the ability to slink back off to the seats with the silence of everyone else crushing him even more
>You gave Clara the blanket and gave her a quick kiss
>She clutched it a little tighter around her self when you left
>You all sit back down and continued playing the card game while Clara fed your cub
>It was going well until Lucatiel fussed a bit sending the blanket tumbling down
>For a moment Clara's exposed breast could be seen before she was able to grab the blanket and cover herself again
>This, apparently, meant Bingle had to talk again
>"i woundt mind tryng some of yur milk if you dont mind," he couldn't hold his liquor either
>He took another shot from whatever source he had beside him
>"now i would of course," he hiccuped
>Don't you fucking say what you think he's going to say
>"now i- "
>You really wanna pull this bonny boy?
>"i would of course prefer it from the source"
>Yeah, OK.
>Your hands slammed down on the table as you and the Mechanic stood up
>Lilith had his arms in hers, but no one dared to stop yours
>"Time for you to go little fox"
>You had him by his collar and lift him with ease
>"ha! what're you gonna do beat me up? Chick has my back!"
>You looked at Mous
>You knew you could probably take him in a fight, but neither of you would come out unscathed and you didn't want to burn that bridge
>He looked back at you, and then towards Bingle
>He picked up a shot of whiskey that the Mechanic had given him, and with pinkey outstretched as he continued to stare
>*Siiiiip*
>The smug grin from Bingle's face disappeared real quick like
>"Now Anon I was just kidding about the-"
>So that's what they sound like
>You thought this and more while the kit limply lied there and bleeding on your floor
>All it took was a single punch apparently
>And, oh, you don't remember muzzles looking like that - especially when the lions felt it too
>You grace his fur with the dirt on your lawn, and the side of his face was spectacularly caked when he looked back at you
>He coughs out a fang or two and raised a paw
>"Call a cab," you say, and you shut the door

PartII: Mechanic and Lilith
>Chickenman owed you big for this favor
>You made sure he knew it the second he asked you
>He wanted you to help fix that wretched fox's car
>Not Granny Cass, oh no, she was positively delightful
>No, It was for her shiteating son Bingle
>You couldn't stand him personally
>Men( Anthro or otherwise ) that constantly talk themselves up annoyed you to no end
>The only reason why you were doing this is that a favor in return was no small thing to sneeze at
>The Chickenman had done pretty well for himself, and you were willing to bite the pavement just this once for a little something good in return
>It's why you're on your creeper underneath his POS Lotus Esprit x180
>'A rigid car for a rigid star, if you know what I mean,' he told you
>Damn thing looked like yellow depressed spatula
>"He needs a new Alternator belt, new spark plugs..." you grumbled to himself
>It was obvious that he drove it into the ground
>You didn't even feel like telling him the engine he's killing wasn't even stock
>You doubt he'd even know what you meant
>Its oil was black as tar, the transmission fluid a solid brown instead of bright red, and no coolant was left in the radiator
>You were honestly surprised it even made it here
>With this kind of model, how in the hell did he manage to keep it on
>...
>"Yeah the whole thing keeps overheating and I dunno why," you heard him call out to you
>He was in your garage
>Again
>"GET OUT OF THE GARAGE AND SIT IN THE OFFICE" you yelled at the scampering black furred legs
>He kept wandering out of your office's comfortable seats to play around with your tools
>As much as you wished he would accidentally set himself on fire with your welder, you didn't want to need a new one
>As you continued to work you heard a familiar car pull in
>Lilith must be home from class
>You rolled your creeper out from under the car and stood up
>Lilith, mindful of your stains, gave you as best a hug as she could while you stole a quick kiss from her
>"Hey Lil how was class?"
>"It was ok. A little dull, but I passed my test though!"
>"Good job babe!"
>A high five and a smile later and you excused your self back under the car
>Your smile drooped with the knowledge of who owned this corpse
>'The sooner I get this done, the faster I can get rid of him,' was your personal mantra mid oil change
>"Hey Anon, who's car is that? Aren't you usually closed today?" asked a standing Lilith somewhere to your right
>You pointed to the office window from under the car
>You saw her feet raise up on her toes for a few seconds before slowly coming back down
>"Oh... him," was all she said
>A perfectly understandable response
>The sound of a door opening and closing led to another, black furred pair of legs
>God dammit
>"Well hello there sweet thing~ What are you doing in a dirty place like this?" came a sickening voice
>Your garage is not dirty
>Still you ignored the fox to the best of your ability
>You knew Lilith could handle herself
>Lilith's legs moved back
>"Uhm, I live here with my Husband you know that!" came her loud reply
>"Also, get out of the garage!"
>His footpaws started to creep forward toward Lilith
>"Well of course!" he began, standing infront of her, "but this is no place for a refined lady like yourself..."
>You don't know what he was doing up there, but a tentative Lilith's leg stepping back told you enough
>"Why don't we take your car and get dinner? Let hubby here fix my car"
>"Bingle I swear to god if you touch me I'll hit you with a goddamn wrench," her legs stood firm
>You grabbed your own wrench
>Just to be sure
>His footpaws were right next to Lilith's now
>"Hey hey I was just trying to-"
WONK
>The sound of metal hitting bone echoed through your garage
>You saw Bingle's footpaws take a few unsteady steps back, and soon enough the rest of him fell onto the cement floor with a soft thud
>You slide out from under the car to the sight of Lilith holding a monkey wrench in her paws
>"I warned him!"
>You chuckle
>"You did"
>You propped his unconscious body onto a stained oily chair, making extra sure you supported his weight with your own just as wet clothes
>You made your way back to a slightly more relaxed Lilith, a pat on her head with an ungloved hand finally gets her to head into the house
>Sliding back under the car you can still see him sitting there
>At least now you can work in peace


PartIII : The Survivor and Zahrah
>You are a survivor
>And possibly, the only human left
>Years ago you stumbled upon some unintended company in the form of a short, bitey Wolverine named Zahrah
>The biting part coming from when you had to untangle her from your trap
>Soon after life had gotten great for you and your then new loving mate
>You are a survivor only in name with how the two of you thrive in your forest home
>It was today however, that put a threat to your peaceful lifestyle
>You are in desperate need of supplies today, and ones that you couldn't normally find
>Your cabin had power, running water, and a nice water heater to boot
>But Zahrah wanted some cheeses
>Even though you learned plenty during your time in the wastelands you never learned to make cheese
>Not from a lack of trying though, it's just that it would be extremely uncomfortable to start learning
>So you're currently doing the next best thing: riding out to the nearest colony with Zahrah giddily bouncing on your lap on your mad quest to find a newer, friendlier, talking source
>Bonus points if they had power to store the cheeses
>Your usual place just so happens to check all the boxes, and soon you pulled into town
>The two of you get a lot of "Hi Anon, hi Zahrah" greetings since you both worked as constant and reliable traders
>It also helped that you stuck out like a sore thumb in a world full of talking animal people
>You ride through the colony for a little while before parking in front of a small shop
>A sign above the door had the words "MILK and CHEESE" highlighted by mismatched glowing letters
>Shutting off the ATV you and Zahrah head in
>A small bell dings somewhere in the back and a large Anthro cow appears from a door behind the counter
>"How can - oh, hi Anon, hi Zahrah! Here for the usual?"
>You smile at her and gesture to Zahrah
>"Her choice, I'll eat anything cheese related"
>Zahrah stood at the counter and bounced on her paws trying to look over it
>After a couple failed attempts and a small twist with a pout, she threw her arms into the air
>"Anon lift me! I can't see what Molly has!"
>You obliged, and reached down and set her on your shoulders
>"Oooh she has the cheddar! And Gouda! Anon I want them all!"
>With her thighs around your head, you're loving her extra bouncy behavior today
>"Get a little of each then babe," you gave with a little smirk
>You can almost hear Molly's wistfulness as you bicker with your love
>Thankfully she is also a very patient woman when it comes to Zahrah constantly switching between choices
>In the end Zahrah picked 3 pounds of cheddar and 2 pounds of provolone
>"You sure that's all you want?" you say as you pay the cow
>"MHM!" she ignores your sarcasm with arms full of cheese
>She's still happily chatting away with Molly when you took the cheese from her to store it in a cooler
>When she walks out you hear a whistle
>"Whew! Check out that portable blowjob machine!"
>You look up from your quad to see a pitch black fox in mismatching black scrap metal studded leathers
>He's strolling towards you and Zahrah with his bright blue eyes hungrily looking at her
>Anyone could of mistaken him for a wolf from his size, but you had been around Anthros long enough to tell the difference
>Zahrah is frowning at him, and you're just confused
>"Excuse me?" you both say
>She had learned a bit of patience since you both became life-mates, but even that had limits
>The fox just kept walking forwards to her, ignoring you completely
>When he's finally close, he drapes an arm over your shoulder with his eyes locked on Zahrah
>"You're just the right height for us to have a LOT of fun"
>She frowns harder while looking over her glasses at him
>A flash of light sparking across her lenses got his arm to tense up
>"You realize I'm here with my mate, right?"
>"Eh?"
>You can't honestly tell if he's blind or just dumb as shit from his now genuine look of surprise when he turned to look at you
>He got off of you real quick and brushed off the 'dirt' when he recovered
>"Another anthro with a human huh?" he says under his breath
>More humans?!
>"Your mate can come too, but he has to watch," the fox said in earnest
>"Did you seriously not hea-" he wasn't paying attention to you anymore
>He clapped his paws together and leaned down over Zahrah
>"Can I ask you a question?" he started to pull out a wallet, "do you have to kneel to give him a blowjob, or can you stand normally"
>Zahrah's fur is puffed in anger
>"Can I axe you a question too?" she started to walk next to the ATV
>"You mean ask?" he says back
>"Nope"
>Zahrah pulls her axe off the bike and sets upon him like the wolverine she is
>His screams and cries paled in comparison to your lovable shorstack's warcry
>In the end she managed to chop both his legs off below the knees
>And now, he's eye level with her
>You're still staring at the stunned gasping stubby fox, and a light pat on your hand snaps you out of it
>You rev up the ATV and she gets into her usual spot
>The both of you turn to look at him, his words still failing to come out
>"Might want to get that flesh wound checked out," you start
>"Portable blowjob machine!" Zahrah finished over the roar of the ATV as you ride away

Part IV: King Anon and Radka

>Your reign thus far has been interesting
>The famine has been reduced by the beastmen's supposed evil life magic
>Trading with the pack opened new routes for the merchants to follow
>And talks of peace spread like wildfire, and many of your people soon found comforts with the beings they were told were slaves
>It's going pretty well, surprisingly so
>You just weren't used to being a ruler
>From a young age you were trained to be a warrior
>And from there, a knight
>You could also throw a pretty nasty fireball and plants like you a bit more now
>Yet here you were, King of the lands you grew up in because the former one couldn't be bothered to help his people
>But no, you didn't want to be the seat of power
>He made that choice for you when he murdered one of your loves
>Marie the sheep beast woman
>She taught you life magic, helped teach you love has no boundaries if you let it
>Radka, your still alive reindeer beast woman wife was actually the one who initiated your polygamous lifestyle
>You were there when Marie died, unable to act and only watching
>That moment still haunts your dreams
>You kept two long knives, the handles made from her horns on you at all times
>But today was not a day to dwell upon it
>Supposedly you had a foreign emissary coming from afar
>You assume it's from the Lady Zig
>You're still unsure how that night had been possible; assured in the sense that it was an ale induced dream
>Flying metal machines? Four armed beings? A jest at best
>And yet Radka swore it happened , And so had Marie when she was alive
>So you sat there awaiting your guest
>You're left waiting much longer than you're used to
>Either being kind has spoiled you or this emissary was just that rude
>A little later some half hearted fanfare announced the person you're meeting, who is currently accompanied by two very annoyed guards
>He's casual in his stroll through your throne room
>You are greeted before a disinterested hybrid
>You think so anyways
>A fox perhaps, or maybe a wolf from the size
>His gem studded vestments clashed horribly against his black fur and stunningly blue eyes
>"Grettings se-" you clear your throat of your old habbits
>"I am King Anon," you start again, "what news have you?"
>He never stopped lazily turning his head looking around
>"My name's Bingle," he gave a mock bow, "I'm not sure why I was sent to this dirty place"
>"Dirty? You've got a strange sense of humor," you say through a fake smile
>You clear your thoughts, deciding it was a tactless way to keep a secret
>You stand up from the uncomfortable weight of your throne
>"Walk with me, Sir Bingle," and with the tap of a guard's halberd he finally acknowledges you
>The first thing he decides to do was sneeze
>"Right, yeah," he said through his sleeve
>You sigh, thinking at how terrible it must be to live as a moron

>You lead him through your castle with the uninterested fox walking behind you
>"I did not ask to be king," you begin, and slow down for him to catch up
>A back-stab, no matter how inept the attempt may be would surely ruin your weekend
>"I became it for the good of the people," you stop in front of a door having finished your words
>"I sense you are lost Sir Bingle, I see the wounds time has left upon you"
>He raised an eyebrow at that while you opened the door
>Portraits of Marie line the walls with a small table in the center of the room
>You quietly walked towards it with Bingle stomping behind you
>A single drawing Marie made sits upon it
>It's the last self portrait she drew
>Every painting of her since was based on this
>"You need to find the person that is the catalyst to your life"
>The sight of the picture drew a hand over one of your knives
>"Even if they are sometimes taken from you"
>Your grip was a little tighter when you turn to the fox
>His disinterest is only broken with another sneeze
>...
>"Very well Sir Bingle, if you are not here for a reason then I suggest you leave"
>"No, no!" he puts on a 'smile' and makes his way to the table
>"I agree completely!"
>He's looking over the contents on the table, leaning forward a little closer with a paw cupping his chin
>He gave a "hmm" when he looked over the drawing a little more
>And then he picked it up
>"A woman made you thi-"
>"Bingle! Put that down," you take a step towards him
>His muzzle is scrunched up
>"Thi-i-i-"
>You moved to grab him
>"ACHOO"
>Mucus and wetness cover the drawing
>You're speechless at that
>"Ooops, sorry about your picture"
>He sneezed again, and with a shrug he tosses it back onto its pedestal
>His delusion stirred a fire you once felt a long time ago
>"How dare you fox!" you grab his shoulders and force him away
>"You enter my house, insult my court, and ruin one of my prized possessions like it's nothing!" you were roaring, and with every word you pushed a little harder
>His paws are grabbing at your arms
>They fly into the air when you hold him against a wall
>"That's your prized possession?" that now fear tinged smile was back
>One of his paws points back to the table
>"A shitty drawing? Really?"
>You stared at him
>He started to flinch from the sight of your now red knife and the pain in his neck
>You let go, and he collapses with you no longer supporting his weight
>Blinking out of your haze, you slowly turned the knife around in your hand
>A dot of red paints the horned handle
>"I'm sorry Marie..."
>You take the cloth from your robe and gently rub it across the handle
>"I was just trying to teach him what you did for me"
>You sigh, and call for a servant
>He's shocked at what he sees, but he loses it from your pained expression
>It quickly hardened
>"Send word to Bongwater. Tell him I have a special meal for him"

Part V : Titan, Jane and Isabelle

>Going out together has been increasingly more difficult for the three of you
>The three of you being yourself, Jane, and Isabelle of course
>Jane's and your schedules were almost the same, but Isabelle had a different one
>You worked nights and she generally worked during the day
>But today was a special occasion
>By some random miracle the three of you could all go out and have a good time together
>Since it was so rare, you and Jane had decided to let Isabelle to pick where to go
>Of course she would choose the UltraLux
>"What? I just want to see where you two work," was her defense
>And so after a bit of prep work and squeezing into Jane's FloCar the three of you made it to the UltraLux
>It felt weird going through the main entrance and getting blasted by all of the ritzy glamorous signs advertising fantastic ways to go broke
>A solid door in a concrete wall is more your speed
>You can't deny the idea was great with how Isabelle keeps looking around in awe at everything
>"You guys work HERE!?" you swear she was bouncing in place
>"Eeee! It's so exciting!"
>She happily drags you from table to machine to bar to table and back again
>That woman can pull when she wants too
>Jane is spared from losing an arm and casually follows behind you
>Every almost-trip and misstep earned you a poorly hidden giggle behind you
>Soon enough she dragged you out to the center, and for the first time in the night she was finally calm
>"Where do you work usually Anon? I wanna see!"
>You lamely gesture around you
>And got a punch in the shoulder for it
>"Not like that! Where do you hang out?"
>You smile and decide to indulge her

>You lead her and Jane to an unassuming side door, and with a quick scan of your hand on a bio-metric scanner it dings and opens with a slight 'vwoosh'
>A short walk through a small hidden hallway and soon all three of you stand in a small elivator
>Jane had an arm in yours while the two of you watched Isabelle fog up the glass
>You don't know why the sight of concrete and wires were so interesting to the her
>But, even that was over too soon
>Another short walk(with the thought about getting a leash) later you all end up in the staging area
>It's a small but comfortable room with a center table, large TV's and various red cushions and chairs dotting the line
>Your boss even splurged and got a plant to go with it
>"This is where we are all given our assignments," you start to explain after giving a short tour
>Isabelle looks around with a slight frown
>"Why is it fancy up there and not down here?"
>"Because guests usually do not come down here," said a voice cutting through you're answer
>You turn and see Theo behind you
>"Ah hey Theo, I was just showing Isabelle here where I worked"
>He raises a furred eyebrow up at you
>"Ah, of course. No problem, girlfriends do get curious. I remember my wife wanted to see it too"
>"Just don't make a mess with her and Ms.Edwards. Or, at at least clean up after," he said with a wink
>You look at him for a moment before it hits you with what he's implying
>"Theo, gross! I wouldn't do that HERE! Who the hell would?!"
>"Ronnie and Chika," he laughs
>You hope Jane's retches were real
>"Aww gross, comeon man!" you can hardly hold back a grin
>He laughs harder
>"Wait, are you serious?" you lean in close to him
>His laughter fades and and with a napkin he pulled from his pocket he wipes a tear from his eye
>"I'm just fucking with you titan," after a pat or two, back into the pocket it goes
>"But don't use that chair anymore"
>With a serious face, he points to a chair in the corner that Eugene usually sits on
>Gross
>"Anyway, continue your tour for Ms. Isabelle, I'll see you Thursday"
>He gives you a fist bump, and with a nod towards Jane he disappears into the elevator
>"That's one of my bosses," you explain as you wait for the elevators to come back down
>"What about you Jane?" Isabelle chirps happily
>Jane shuffles uncomfortably beside you
>"I don't think you'd wanna see that Izzy," she finally says
>Isabelle looks at her in disbelief
>"Jane, the three of us have had sex multiple times on and off camera. There is literally nothing embarrassing left to show me"
>Your smile is back at that
>The elevator comes back and you usher them both in through the doors
>"Fine! But I'm not pole dancing for you!"
>Isabelle looks a little sad, but she pulls out her patented puppy dog eyes
>"Not even a little bit?"
>She adds a quivering lip on top of her bright pink stare
>"Hmm..."
>Not waiting for an answer she puts on a lewd grin
>"I would love to see what you can do with this body!"
>She spanks Jane, earning a squeak of surprise from a very flustered kitty
>Oooh, someone's getting bold
>"FINE! But you're gonna pay for it later, and Anon here is gonna help me!"
>"Nothing you can do to me that I won't like," said Isabelle with a tongue stuck out
>It's Jane's turn to go lewd
>"Oh, is that a challenge? Anon~ it looks like Isabelle's ass is yours later!"
>That smug look of Isabelle's didn't last very long
>Wha? My...? Do I have to?"
>Jane nods, "if you want a pole dance you gotta give it up"
>With a huff and a stomp of her footpaw, she then pulls out a pout
>"FINE! But it better be an awesome pole dance!"
>Looks like you're about to have a fun night
>The elevator ride ends and Jane leads the two of you to a small room with a stage
>"This is where I usually do private shows!" Jane says with flare
>She follows up her grand opening with a climb to the stage, and pushes a small button with her footpaw
>The room dims and a pole rises out of the floor
>She's pretty quick to get on it, too
>"I usually change and strip on this stage," she said mid spin
>"But no touching~" she adds with her arms holding her up and legs spread
>"Aww, no touching? That's a shame"
>wat
>"Who..?" you turn around and see some sort of large wolf anthro behind you
>A big black with blue eyes and jeans
>The popped collar on his polo shirt was especially impressive
>"Hey, this is a private show buddy, get lost" you grunt
>Instead of listening to you he struts into the room past you
>"Aww come on now mate! You're just being selfish," he leans against a chair next to Isabelle
>"You can't book two lovely ladies all for yourself!"
>A black paw lands on Isabelle's pink hair covered shoulder
>Her head tilted towards it from how he's clearly grabbed a handful
>"I don't think you-"
>"I'm Bingle," he cuts you off, "but you probably know me by my stagename: Peppercorn Starshake!" he adjusts his collar after a small mock bow
>You didn't start this encounter with a lot of patience
>And now, you immediately started agreeing with that little voice in your head
>You clench your fists when Isabelle can't pry him off
>"I don't give a fuck who you are, fuck off," you growl and take a step closer
>"Aww, now don't be like that. How about this: we could tag team them!"
>No fucking way, pal
>"Though I get the tiddywolf here first"
>His paws are on an incredibly distressed Isabelle's breasts
>"KILL HIM," the voice roared over your lover's screaming your name
>You don't even think twice
>Your fist soon met the soft feeling of fur
>Snapping bone and blood quickly follows it
>And... oh? Oh look!
>His brain jelly joined in on the fun
>Where the left side of his face once stood your fist briefly occupies it
>The entire left side of his skull caved in as his surprisingly lightweight body skidded across the floor
>Oops, that was a fox
>Spindly little fuckers aren't they?
>You agreed, and turning to Isabelle you're quickly by her side
>"You ok babe?" you ask
>She doesn't hesitate leaping onto you with a kiss
>"Ooo yeah Anon, I'm better than ok!" she's a little hysterical
>"Jane! I'm done seeing where you work!"
>She furiously nods at that
>Jane makes her way off the stage and Isabelle pressed to your side
>Making your way to the door you see Isabelle mistakenly looking back
>A black footpaw twitched back
>"OK, STREAM TIME" and she once again pulls you away
>She looks frazzled, but her heavy panting and tight grip over you tells you otherwise
>Oh yeah, that predatory sense of lovin acts of violence in their defense
>Looks like you're gonna have a GREAT night

Part VI : Vault Anon and Amana

>Scavenging has been easy lately
>Gun parts, screws, weapon mods, food
>Even better with your mudermate Amana with you
>Better in the sense that raiders don't fuck with a a huge deathclaw
>One who has the hots for you, specifiaclly
>Sure, you could'nt go into colonies at all without people gawking, and a laser or plasma bolt would fly our way
>But people never tried to stiff you on prices now
>Apparently they were under the impression that you were some kind of ultra amazing animal whisperer
>You tell them that, but in reality that isn't a perk listed in the voodoo guide to your black magic pipboy
>Speaking of, you're fiddling with it right now as the two of you walk through the wilds of Not Oregon
>Amana stomped off a few minutes ago, following the smell of some Animal
>Like you said - the food part was easy to come by
>Without fail she would be dragging back some poor animal in half an hour or less
>Free of charge, no caps needed
>Only snuggles and hugs
>One time she dragged another deathclaw to you
>Thankfully in a less aggressive and much more eatable state, but you were of course a little reserved about eating what could potentially be her own brother
>She kept bumping you with her muzzle when you tried to shy away, and only your hunger and her rock hard face got you to try it anyways
>It was surprisingly good

>After a quick meal of cooked unidentifiable meat chunks you are almost back home
>It was a cellar built into the floor from a long long time ago, that you reinforced with your pipboy's Cthulhu magic
>It's a veritable fortress similar to a raider camp, built to last and to weather the storms
>Your locked front gate is wide open
>Ok
>How did they get past your turrets?
>You swore they can run off bullets
>Well, someone, or something was in there
>With your combat rifle drawn you descend down the stairwell into your new intruded homme
>You found it immediately
>Digging through one of your weapon trunks was what appeared to be a, for lack of a better word, humanoid wolf
>A black furred one if the lighting wasn't lying
>You don't want to go near it since the poor thing could be a walking atom bomb
>One that has his hands on your favorite modded .50cal rifle, that bastard
>"Man, I've gotta show Chick these! This gear is awesome! I mean, just look at it!"
>You charge your rifle to get it's attention
CHIK CHAK
>The radwolf thing turns around with your precious 50 still in its grubby paws
>"Eh? A human? Not what I expected but this place is neat!"
>He points it haphazardly at you
>"I found it first, so get lost!"
>Great, it's retarded
>His bright blue eyes focus on you and your rifle, to which you raise it up in response
>"This is my home. Get lost before I shoot you"
>One more load for luck
>"Or worse"
>"Yeah, right - my gun's bigger dude! So get lost before I perforate you!"
>You shake your head at him
>"Trust me, you're gonna want to drop that"
>He raises it even more, and without warning he pulls the trigger
*click*
>"Rule number 1: Never store a loaded weapon"
>He stands there staring at you
>Completely bamboozled
>It was about to get better from the vibrations in the ground that you start to feel
>You smile, take a step three feet to the left, and bow
>Amana tears past you with a roar
>"HOLY SHI-"
>Well, that happened
>The radwolf is nothing more than a pile of fur and bone that Amana is happily tearing into
>You stroll over calmly and lay a hand on her side
>Looking closer you give a whistle
>"That's some good fur! Hey, Amana, let me have that real quick so I can get the pelt"
>You make a reach for it, and lose both it and the side you were leaning against
>"HEY! Gimme!"
>The pile of muscle and death just starts chewing faster and scoots away
>Dammit, she does this when she eats something she shouldn't be
>You stop, wiggle your fingers, and pop your neck to get the kinks out
>Time to use the secret weapon
>You leap, and grab onto her scaled back
>As expected she starts to get up, but with your mighty powers you freeze her in place
>Your fingers have found the side of her neck, and they're gently scratching away
>Her eyes close almost immediately, and you feel and hear a soft purring start
>You continue giving scritches while you cautiously reach over, closer and closer
>Just gotta add the icing on this cake with a long drawn out scratch down the top of her muzzle
>Aaaannnd...
>"HEY!" she parrots at you
>You look over the body you are now holding
>Too many holes in the hide to even make a napkin
>Your mind wanders to the legion and their helmets
>What where they called?
>'Vexillarius helmets!' your demonic wristband says
>Yeah, that'l do
>You make short work of the removing the tattered pelt from the toy you quickly give back to Amana
>No good can come of making your 8 foot murder monster wife angry
>Or how easily bypassed your defenses were
>You got a cool hat out of it though


Part VII: ComfyAnon and Raquel

>It's a lovely morning as you and Raquel hike slowly up the infamous 'stairway to heaven' in Oahu
>Sure, it IS technically illegal to go up them now, but that didn't stop the droves of people who did it anyway
>You're pretty sure that the police don't even bother to stop people anymore, just because so many of them still want to climb it
>Still... better safe than sorry in this case
>You and Raquel had woken up at 4AM and started up the side of the mountain
>While at times the stairs were steep, Raquel took the challenge in stride using her single arm to pull herself along with amazing strength and dexterity
>She happily hummed along knowing you were right there behind her, and ready to catch her should the worst happen
>It's a few hours into this stressful, peaceful hike, and the sun is just now starting to rise
>The view over the island and sea is breathtaking, second only to the moon you've been staring at up the mountain
>"Come on Anon! We're almost at the top!"
>Your smile was as big as the sunrise, probably, and you hurry up after her
>It's only about 4,000nd more steps and you are in pretty good shape to do it
>The cool mountain air swirling past you certainly helped
>Yeah, this vacation was just what you and Raquel needed
>"Oh my god look at the view!" your maned wolfess happily calls to you
>No kidding
>You could see it all
>Honolulu, Hanauma Bay, Diamond Head and the jungle all around
>All breathtaking
>But Raquel's smiling joyous face could definitely kill you on the spot
>Not to be outdone, not with how much effort it took to craft that smile of hers, you beam back
>You didn't do it for praise or anything like that, you did it because it was the right thing to do
>And in the end, the effort was worth it
>Your thoughts are broken by the sound of struggled panting
>That's not Raquel is it?
>You look towards Raquel ready to catch her passed out form
>...She must of had the same idea with how her arm is stretched out to you
>Both of you had equally confused looks, but her's even more so while she looked over your shoulder
>The source of the sound reveals itself when you too turn around

>"Why would anyone do this for fun? This is torture," gasps a panting black fox, quite literally crawling up the stairs
>Reaching the top he lamely claws at the ground before finally rolling to his side
>You can see why he struggled so much
>He has a full rucksack on and enough supplies to go camping for a few days
>Was he planning on sleeping here?
>Well, now that you think about it, this would make for a lovely camping spot
>You walk over and help the struggling fox to his feet
>"Hey there man, you going camping up here or something?"
>He keeps panting, and only manages to drown it out with a quick drink from a water bottle
>"Huh? Camping? No this is just a hike!" he took a moment to chug it down, "You gotta take a rucksack on a hike anywhere! In case you get lost, or something"
>You look back at Raquel who only gives a half shrug
>Getting lost here is basically impossible, the city below is in full view
>Someone would have to be a special brand of retarded to have something like that happen
>You dismiss that line of thinking and try to strike up a conversation
>With it being a vacation and all you're probably never gonna see this guy again
>Might as well
>You offer your hand to the fox and he takes it with a firm shake
>"I'm Anon and this is Raquel," you begin
>He puts on a winded grin and looks at Raquel
>"My name's Bingle," he says after catching his breath
>Raquel makes her way to a rock nearby and sits down on it, giving a polite wave at the mention of her name
>The two of you also make your way to rocks, and he takes off his pack while your unburdened self sits next to your fuzzy wife
>He's looking at you and then back to Raquel with a puzzled look on his muzzle
>"If I'm not mistaken you're a maned wolf right?" he said with a snap of his fingers
>Raquel and yourself put on your best 'mildly surprised' smiles
>It's not every day that someone didn't assume her to be a very lanky fox, so when someone gets it right it tends to make her day
>"Why, yes I am! I'm impressed you were able to tell"
>He nods with his hand cupping his chin, deep in thought or deeply proud of his intellect
>"Is it true your piss smells like dank kush?"
>Ah, so it's neither
>As expected, you both went from mildly surprised to horribly shocked
>You just don't ask a lovingly taken, not for sale lady that
>"Uh... yeahitdoes," she squeaks
>He laughs at that
>"That's a pretty cool fetish you could fill right there! Dank kush watersports"
>...Wel-
>"Whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA," you frown, "that's a little uncalled for!"
>He just looks at you in disbelief, that's very hard to see behind another drained waterbottle
>Finishing it, he zips to Raquel's side and places a padded hand on her shoulder
>"No, no it is called for," you ignore the fact he's touching your wife for how interesting his story better damn well be
>"See, I'm a pornstar and"
>Alright! No more touching!
>The both of said, with Raquel being extra forceful in pushing him off
>"Wha? No man, I'm always trying to find new fetishes to cater to"
>He's looking Raquel up and down earnestly
>You stand, and the only thing stopping you from heating up is a warm paw grabbing on to you
>She's just as bothered as you, but even then she didn't want to cause a scene
>Atop a mountain with only three people, no less
>"And she's an amputee!" he whistles, "She's like a mixed bag of fetishes, all bundled up into one!"
>You open your mouth, and promptly get cutoff by the fox
>"-a few greenscreen socks and we can do the whole 'lovepillow' deal too! How 'bout we get off this mountain and make a film"
>He walks up to Raquel
>"You and me, what'dya say?"
>He holds his paw out to her with bright blue eyes glinting happily that you simply can't see through the red haze
>Your scowling goes ignored as well
>It took you hours to get up here and this jerkwad was ruining it
>He loosely grabs behind him to his backpack and pulls out a camera
>Holding it in front of him he then looks back to you
>"Hubby here has to film though," he must of thought he was smooth
>Not smooth enough to slip out of your tackle
>"Time for you to go Bingle"
>With a loud gasp behind you, you now have an incredibly confused fox pinned to the ground
>"Now listen here you little shit," you seethe through clenched teeth
>Bingle's muzzle is making a lot of funny faces back at you
>"My wife and I were having a wonderful vacation before you somehow managed to sour the day with in just a few minutes"
>He must have used some high end softener with how silky his neck fur felt between your hands
>You feel a light tapping on the side of your arm
>You weren't expecting the thing causing it was his own trying to get you to stop
>...
>That better be his fucking wallet or keys in his front pockets
>You drop his throat, which in turn drops his head right onto the dirt floor
>What kind of weird shit does he do anyways
>He coughs and gags a bit on the floor, and soon gets up as well
>You and Raquel watch him slowly compose himself again
>"Alright!" *wheeze* "ok, fine" *cough* "I get it!" he sputters out
>You think he gets it
>He digs in his pockets and pulls out a card, handing it to you
>On it is the wolf in a much more, 'sparkly' outfit with a phone number written on it
>"With a grip like that you could make it even better"
>Are you serious
>"No," you tear apart the card, but put the pieces away in one of your pockets
>Don't want to litter, after all
>He puts his hands up to his side, and rolls his eyes walking backwards
>He get's to his stuff, and starts picking up the things he's left around
>"It's like he doesn't even want to watch me bang his girl," he quietly says to himself
>He didn't get it
>You don't even realize what you're doing as you seize the fox and hurl him from the cliff
>His screams cut through the air as he ragdolls down the rockface
>Another of Raquel's gasps brings you back
>She has a paw over her mouth and looking at you, wide eyed
>You kick at the dirt
>"Eh, sorry babe - did I get carried away?" you say, scratching at the back of your head
>She leaps onto you with a half-hug
>"I've just never seen you angry like that before"
>Her quick kiss betrays her shaking
>You don't remember spilling water on your pants
>"Let's just enjoy this view!" she's off of you in a flash, and reaches into her own backpack
>Pulling out a few boxes she giddily holds them out to you
>"I made sammiches!" she adds a wiggle to each one
>You lost it, laughing at the absurdity of what just happened
>It reminds you of something important however
>You grab the fox's rucksack, and toss it over the cliff
>You're somewhat sure it's the same spot he flew over
>Oh well, you did your best
>Don't want him getting lost

Part VIII: The Incubus and Devaki

>A cup of coffee sits on a table, unmoving, unchanging, and full of joe
>No matter what goes on in the background, this simple fact doesn't change
>And no matter how hard the lightning blue veins pulse in your arms, this appears to be it's purpose in the universe
>The force is definitely against you
>Ever since you pulled Devaki out of her prison, you've been trying to see the extent of your new found strength and abilities
>You've tried hydrokinesis, pyrokinesis, geokinesis, aerokinesis, a quick stint at mind reading, and regular old kinesis
>The only thing you've managed so far was to fart out a few balls of light that would spark out after an hour or so
>The past thirty minutes were spent on getting this cup of coffee to float at you
>"Practice more, we will guide you," your demoness calls from the couch, comfortable in her favorite pink sweater and not at all struggling at magic
>"I'm not even sure what I can do though, or how can I practice"
>She grins, showing off all her wolflike teeth with her head cocked to the side
>"You have all eternity to learn"
>Great, she's being like fucking yoda
>You sigh, and reach out for the coffee mug with the thought of going to work tomorrow weighing you down
>Work at a place where all of your co-workers are somewhat scared of you now
>You can't exactly blame them, if you put yourself in their shoes their fear made sense
>Random co-worker shows up with a fiery blue wolf demon and glowing blue eyes would be terrifying
>Despite that, when you grasp at the mug it... shimmers, for lack of a better word
>And it slips through your fingers
>"Dammit!" you make a dive for the cup, only to realize you were still holding it with bean juice now thrown on your table
>"Yeah, ok, sure," you grit your teeth and pick yourself up
>You also spend an unhealthy amount of time staring at the exact replica of the mug you're holding
>there is literally an exact copy of the mug on the table
>Wut
>"Wat," you still stare, mug in hand and a massive stain slowly forming next to you
>"What did you do Anon?" Devaki is standing above you and peering down at the mug
>"We have not seen this type of thing before," her three blazing blue eyes are shifting from mug to mug
>This time, you reach with both hands and make a grab at them
>They're both solid
>Huh, that's pretty neat
>To your surprise there is still a bit of coffee left in your mug, and you take a sip of it
>It's delicious, because your awesome with a keurig
>You take a sip from the other one
>Huh, that's pretty aweful
>You retch and spit out the mixture, that was a delicious blend of ash, ass, and some kind of dewy lemon-lime soda
>The smell of sulfur really adds to it, too
>You remedy this with placing both mugs down and rushing to the kitchen to wash the taste out of your mouth
>"Anon it is fading," you hear Devaki call out
>Your mouth cleansed, and on a mission to raid the fridge, you take a quick peak from the side to see that the second mug is in fact, crumbling away
>Like a structure made of soot it crumbles into nothing until there's no sign of it left
>"We think if you were concentrating on it, the mug would have lasted longer"
>You walk back over to the table, the mess, and the doggo
>"So I can make temporary clones of things? I wonder if I can do that with living things"
>You're pulled into a furry hug with her muzzle to your ear
>"That would make our time together at night much more interesting"
>Her long tongue runs down your face, leaving a slight tingling trail wherever it touches
>You would be grossed out buy you're used to her licking affection
>So instead of reeling back you give her a delicate kiss on her nose
>She has a weakness for affection, you learned
>Guess demons don't really get to experience it all that often
>She starts letting out a low gravely purr that you wouldn't expect from a wolf like demon
>But again, demon, and you yourself could pose as a third rate blue man group stand-in
>The only noise you did expect is her occasional roaring
>100% guaranteed when they climax tho
>Her gravely purr grows even louder when you wrap an arm around her waist and pull her closer to you
>No small feat considering she is at least 2 feet taller than you
>It doesn't stop you from pulling her along to the couch, and the two of you begin a super intense cuddle
>A knock at the door stops you from diving on in
>You sit up, look around and glance out the living room window
>You hear another knock
>It's coming from the closet door
>"What?" you both say, Devaki looks just as confused as you
>"the fuck," you finish
>With a quick walk to your closet door, you prepare to cast fist at whoever was in it
>Opening the door, you find a black furred wolf Anthro
>Or a fox, you guess
>Neither of which are important as furries are now a thing too, apparently
>You get a glimpse at his crystalline blue eyes, and you relax your raised fist
>"Is he one of yours?" you say over your shoulder
>"We do not know this one," you get back
>You turn to him again, "Who are you and why are you in my closet?"
>Whatever brief confusion he had, it was quickly replaced with fury
>"Your closet?! Where the fuck did that fucking skunk send me this time?" he rants, shoving you out of the way and stepping into your apartment
>He looks around, raises an eyebrow at the wolf on fire, and spots a mug that he soon swipes, and downs what ever was left
>Aw man, that was the good stuff too
>Confused, he flips it over, mumbles to himself and sets it back down on the table
>Swearing gets involved when his fur acts like a rag for the spill
>"Ok, well, I think you should go," you move towards him
>Ignoring you, he instead plops down on your couch
>"Nah," he says, wiping an arm on your couch, "not until Zig pulls me out of wherever the hell I am"
>You're rather surprised he isn't freaking out about Devaki, you, or the fact that he totally trashed your couch
>It doesn't halt your rapidly rising annoyance, which in turn Devaki seems to share
>"We do not want your presence here. Your life force is insufficient and too tainted for us to consume," she gets a little brighter and flamey with each word she says
>"You. Are. Worthless to us," you aren't sure if the living black rug could bunch up any smaller than that
>"Anon," you snap to attention
>"Yesm?"
>"Rid us of this insufferable nuisance"
>You give a curt nod, and with a stiff upper lip you march to the couch
>You have no mercy for this dog that interrupted your cuddle session, and now you're off the leash
>Grabbing him by the scruff of his neck you drag him to the large bedroom mirror with Devaki daintily following
>You aren't as gentle when you slam him into the glass, with your grip on his neck choking all words he might say
>"Reach deep, through reality, through the illusions of life and death," she begins to chant
>"And force him into that abyss," she's pretty blunt about it
>You shove the wolf through the mirror into the realm you pulled Devaki from
>You also left him a surprise
>The wolf quickly gets up and dusts himself off while he looks around the empty void
>His eyes finally fall on the exact copy of himself
>"Who are you?"
>"I'm you but stronger!"
>And with that the copy pounces on the wolf thing
>Devaki is sitting on the bed, and snuggle in beside her
>"Man, cable's gotten violent lately"
>The clone is tearing at the other, who's own fists flail back
>"Indeed"
>It's just like wrestling, but free, real, and with no Vince McMahon
>It also doesn't matter who "wins" the fight between them
>For you now have entertainment for the evening