On assuming genders: a letter from an advocate

I genuinely want everyone to feel accepted, and am sorry if (when) I slip up
and misgender someone. I am doing my best to balance out my own belief (which
is that everyone should be treated with respect) with the grammar that
I have been conditioned to use in my normal speech from years of life in
the midwest.

I really want to be on your side, so I don't appreciate it when someone tells
me that I'm being a jerk or that "[my] mom's stupid" because she's an english
major and trained me to speak in the way she had been taught was gramatically
correct. I agree that 'they' should be considered acceptable usage in single-
person, as does she. My mother wants to be an advocate, too - she goes to the
rallies; she votes against transphobic candidates; she uses the pronouns people
ask her to use. She tries her best to stand for equality whenever she can with
her *actions*, which I think should speak louder than words. If she misgenders
someone, she corrects herself, apologizes, and tries to move forward.

We are imperfect and flawed beings doing our best, in a confusing world, to
make it a better place. I would ask for your forgiveness, should I slip up, for
I want to be an advocate rather than an oppressor. I can't speak for my mother,
but I think she feels this way, too. So please, if and when we slip up, don't
go for our throats.

If we say "he," please just say "*she/*they/*[other pronouns here]" and give
us a chance to apologize before calling us stupid or labelling us as enemies.
When people do do that, they only make it harder for us to convince others that
you're worth advocating for, and demoralize/aggravate us, which is not
constructive. Please, *let us* flawed people try to improve ourselves, and
don't villanize us unless we refuse to apologize.