The adventures of Luz Biterear and the Space Rabbis

You are Luz Biterear, a ranger living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a hunting
 bow and a quiver of arrows. You spot the deer and are ready to finish your hunt
 when suddenly you hear a voice behind you.

"Hello there".

You turn around and see a young woman with long brown hair and a large smile
 on her face
> hiya, why the large smile?

The large smile on your face is not because you just killed an animal, but rather
 it is due to your surprise that someone would recognize you.
This woman is none other than the princess of the kingdom of Larion, Princess
 Liria
> Hey Liria, want to go to space?

Liria looks at you for a moment before nodding her head in agreement. She then
 turns back to her target and fires off several arrows into its body. The deer
 falls from the sky as it slowly dies.
"Wow! That was amazing!" Liria exclaims
> Use my space phone to summon my space cruiser

You quickly call up your spaceship and ask if they can pick you up. They tell
 you yes, but you will need to wait until tomorrow morning.
> waggle eyebrows at liria

You wiggle your eyebrows at liria and say "So what time is it?"
> say "It's parcheesi time!"

You nod your head at her and say "It's parcheesi time".
> invite liria into my tent

You beckon her over to your tent and tell her to come inside. She walks in with
 a smile on her face.
> set up parcheesi board

You place down some parcheesi boards and set them up. You then start to teach
 her how to play. You explain that she should be able to beat the monsters easily
 by using her skills.
> roll the dice

You roll the dice and see that you rolled a six. You then look at the monster
 on the board and see that it has rolled a three. You then look at the girl on
 the board and see that she has rolled a two
> LIRIA YOU WIN

You walk out of your tent and give a big grin to everyone who watched the game.
> go back in tent and go to sleep until the space ship comes

You return to your tent and go to sleep until the space ship arrives. When it
 does, you hop on and take it back to the castle.
> set a course for the deepest reaches of the Schlmazel Sector

You set your course towards the deepest parts of the Schlmazel sector. After
 a few days, you arrive at the planetoid that you were looking for. It is called
 the Schlmazel Sector. There are many strange creatures living there. Some are
 friendly, while others are hostile
> Make soup for the hostile ones

You decide to make a soup for the hostile creatures. You think about making something
 more interesting like a cake or ice cream, but you decide against it since you
 don't know where you'll find any food in this area.
> While they are eating the soup, steal all their socks

You sneak up behind one of the hostile creatures and grab his sock. He doesn't
 even notice that he has been taken. You put the sock in your pocket and leave
 the room.
> get on ship and warp to the butthole at the center of the galaxy

You warp to the center of the galaxy. As soon as you enter hyperspace, you feel
 a little weird. You also realize that you forgot to bring your space phone.
 You try calling it, but you only get static
> Computer, synthesize me a new space phone

You send a message to the computer asking for a new space phone. A few seconds
 later, a voice answers.
> YO PUTER WHAT IT IS

You type in the code and hear a tone. You press the button and the screen lights
 up.
> queue a new space phone version eleventy-jillion for synthesis
Woops that action caused the model to start looping. Try a different action to
 prevent that.
> How about a nice plate of beans
Woops that action caused the model to start looping. Try a different action to
 prevent that.
> how many light years to the butthole

You type in the number and press the button. A small image appears on the screen.
> examine image

You examine the image. You see a huge hole in the middle of the universe. You
 wonder what could possibly cause such a thing. Then you remember...
> remember that the space rabbis control this sector

You recall that the space rabbis control this sector. You then begin to laugh.
> Prepare the ceremonial bagel launcher

You run to the kitchen and grab a bagel launcher. You then run back to the bedroom
 and hide it under the bed. You then run back to the kitchen and grab another
 bagel launcher. You then run back to the bedroom and hide it under the bed
> OH NO THE RABBIS ARE HAVING AN ARGUMENT

You stand outside the bedroom door, waiting for the Rabbis to finish arguing.
 Suddenly, you hear a loud noise coming from the kitchen. You rush to check it
 out.
> grab the cream cheese before it's too late

You grab the cream cheese and run back to the bedroom. You hide it under the
 bed.
> Retrieves the Trids from the Trid locker

You retrieve the Trids from the Trid locker. You then run back to the bedroom
 and hide it under the bed.
> Throw a soccer ball to the rabbis

You throw a soccer ball to the rabbis. They catch it and eat it. You then run
 back to the bedroom and hide it under the bed.
> SILLY RABBIS KICKS ARE FOR TRIDS

You run back to the bedroom and hide it under the bed.
> Jettison the bedroom module

You throw the bedroom module into the air. The module flies through the air and
 crashes into the wall. You then run back to the bedroom and hide it under the
 bed.
> remember that the space under the bed is now completely full

You remember that the space under the bed is now completely full. You then run
 back to the bedroom and hide it under the bed.
> Destroy bed

You throw the bed at the wall. It hits the wall and breaks. You then run back
 to the bedroom and hide it under the bed.
> Malkovich?

You hear a noise coming from the bathroom. You run to the bathroom and open the
 door. You see a man dressed in a bathrobe standing in the doorway. He looks
 very old and frail.
> OH SHIT IT'S THE KING OF THE RABBIS

You run over to him and ask if he knows who you are. He says yes, but he thinks
 you're crazy. He tells you that he has come here to kill you because you've
 stolen his wife. He asks you if you want to help him with this task
> No way man, I didn't know she was your wife, sounds like a rabbi problem