Thread 28: Stories 61-75

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NC.
Meanwhile, shortly thereafter on the same ride....
>56
“Luna”
~~~~~

“WHAT IS THIS DEVILRY?!”

>Moons, calm down, it’s not that sca-

“EEEEEEK! THAT SKELETON JUST JUMPED OUT AT US! KILL IT 56!”

>I… I can’t. It’s not alive, it’s incapable of dyin’ ‘cause-

“BY THE NINE IS THAT BLOOD DRIPPING FROM THE RAFTERS?!”

>What? Of course not, it’s prob’ly just fruit pu-

“YOU WON’T HAVE OUR SOUL DEMONS!”

>Nobody wants your soul, Moons. All this is fake, it’s not real, none of it. Watch, you see this fire-breathing dragon? It’s actually nothing but colorful strips of-

“FOUL FLAME-SPITTING BEAST! YOU SHAN’T HAVE HIM!”

>No, Moons, it’s just wind and paper, that’s… okay, you’re crushin’ me to your chest now. Not complainin’, just gettin’ a bit problematic to breathe and-

“STAND CLOSE TO US 56, WE’RE GOING TO ERADICATE THIS FORSAKEN NEST OF TARTARUS!”

>MOONS NO DON’T-

When the ground suddenly gave a great tremble, both Shiny and Celestia were too caught up in the Partyland map to glance back. If they had, they would have seen a giant plume of destruction rising ever skywards, along with the aggrieved groan of a young Changeling parading through the air.
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>42
"Cadence"
~~~~

>I don't think you're supposed to drink right from the caramel dispenser.

"I'm a princess, what are they going to do about it?"

>Kind of abusing your position there.

"Meh....mmmm.... caramel."

>At least put it on your ice cream or something.

"Nope."

>What should I do if security shows up?

"Punch them?"

>I'm not assaulting someone just doing their job!

"Meh, threaten to punch them, that'll work."

>Cadence, really.

She tilted her head back, a long, sticky line of golden caramel trailing from her lips and a slightly narrowed look in her eye.

"Really what?"

>...

"...42?"

>...

"You okay?"

>Y-you too.

"Me? Yeah, I guess I'm doing okay. Thanks for checking on me!"

>...s-s-s.... stoooppp it braaaaaiiiin....

"What was that?"

>NOTHING!

"M'kay!"

>...This is annoyance. I am surely annoyed that she is doing this, but am too respectful to say anything about it. Yeah. That's it.

"MMMMmmmMM!"

>...Y-yeeeeaaahhh... that's it...FUCK YOU BRAIN!
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>Pinkie
"Dash"
'Fluttershy'
~~~~

>Oh man, it's so great you're all here! Now I can show you my slipdeswoop and my flipzooflop and my bouncy castle-

"You mean the moonbounce?"

>...I will cut you.

"...Uh... FLUTTERSHHHHHY! Hey, girl! Never see you around anymore, how you been?"

The pony in question launched about fifteen feet into the air, then floated back down.

'O-oh! Hi, Dash!'

"Heh, some things never change. Thank goodness."

>C'mon! We're gettin' churroburros! It's a churro and a burrito!

'I was actually-'

"Coming along, is what you're doing! I need to spend some time with my wingbuddy!"

>Don't you want to spend time with us?

'Well, I mean, of course, but I-'

>Are coming along!

'...I feel like you're not really listen-EEP!'

>Pinkie and Dashie and Shyyyy!

"Together again!"

'Yay.'

>HAHA! We've still got it!

'Y-yeah...'

Behind her, she hoped nobody would notice the candy cane unravel and turn into twin snakes.

'Still got it....'
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>Spike
"DT"
'SS'
[Ride Narrator]
~~~
[Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion! I am your host, your ghost host.]

>This is gonna be good- You guys okay?

[I AM YOU HOST, YOUR GHOST HOST]

'I'm a bit scared of ghosts, to be honest.'

>You two wanna leave early?

"N-no way! I'm not scared. Silver Spoon might be, but I'm fine!"

'I'll stick it out, you seem to want to see this.'

>If you're sure...

[Our tour begins here in this gallery where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state.]

'Spike, I'm sorry if I get clingy.'

>Hey, it's okay, wanna use my headphones to block out the sound

'Thanks...'

>I keep a spare set, want some-

"I'm good!"

[Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination, hmm?]

"No shit its stretching! Sherclop!"

>Sure you don't want-

[And consider this dismaying observation: This chamber has no windows and no doors, which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out!]

"Oh, Celestia, there are no windows or doors!"

>Uhhh, Tiara?

[Of course, there's always my way.]

The lights go out, revealing a hanging corpse above them as 'lightning' flashes, followed by screams from the guests

[Oh, I didn't mean to frighten you prematurely; the real chills come later. Now, as they say, look alive, and we'll continue our little tour. And let's all stay together, please.]

The lights come on and the door to a hallway opens, and Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara are now clutching onto Spike's head, shaking

>I'm gonna see if we can leave the ride...
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>32
"High Roller"

"So! Here we are. Just the two of us...in this dungeon. Alone. It's creepy in here."

>...want to see my roaches?

"Not really."

>Damn.

"Y'know helmet lady does that too."

>Hm?

"Helmet lady. She talks to herself too."

>I don't talk to myself.

"Yeah ya do!"

>I talk to Reggie and Q, thank you! That loon talks to her brain. Me the crazy one? Ha!

"Suuuure. So! We're gonna be here a while!"

>I noticed. You wouldn't happen to have more of the Revolution of the Mind story would you?

"Nope, he hasn't updated yet."

>Damn him! Oh how much longer must I wallow in not knowing 23's romantic fate? I feel for him, I really do.

"...level with me, are you seriously that stupid?"

>Hmmmm~?

"Nevermind. We could sing."

>I don't sing.

"The HELL you don't! You sing like a lovestruck canary!"

>I do not, you sir are a liar and a scoundrel!

"Oh bite me."

>Can't. Bars.

"And we've reached an impasse."

>Ooh, look that one up from the dictionary all by yourself?

"You know, I could make good on the other end of that bargain we made."

>What?

"Talk and be heard, my man, I got time, you got a shit load of mommy issues-"

>SHE IS NOT MY MOTHER!

"-among other things. Just, y'know, get if off your chest. All of it! And don't try and censor yourself, veeeent.

>...why are you doing this?

"Boredom, mostly."

>...what do you think my chances are?

"Of?"

>Of ever seeing a sunrise again?

"You're joking right?"

>Maybe. Call me a dreamer.

"Well, let's take a look at history, shall we? The greatest villains of the modern era: Nightmare Moon, tries to envelop us all in eternal night, 'Ohmigosh I'm so sorry!', BOOM! Moonbutt back in the fold! Discord, god of chaos, reign of terror, mind fucked folks in droves-I was a pair of giant fuzzy dice for most of that ordeal, fyi-, 'Oh, uh, gee Mr. Discord, could you uhm uh if it's not too much trouble uh, stop being evil?' BOOM! Now he's getting it up the ass from a pink haired mare at the latter's convenience!"

>Are you sure that's how that happ-

"Don't interrupt me! Queen Chrysswyssy, RAPES THE CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY, tries to stage a mass invasion of the country, she is now living with said captain of the guard and her race is tolerated if not treasured by pony society."

>Uh...

"King Sombra...does...things. I mean we're kind of statute of limitations on that slavery evil empire schtick but yeah. Now he's off trying to get himself all flesh and blood again and nobody's saying boo. Blueblood tried to murder Dragon Dude and nearly succeeded, then he launched a coup, now he's living in a glorified condo!"

>That is a very skewed view-

"And thus we get to criminal mastermind 32. Tried and failed to murder said unrepentant Queen, got his ASS BEAT, and has spent the past few months sulking in a jail cell. Frankly? History says you're due to get smacked by the friendship stick directly. My advice? Take it with a smile and say 'Thank you, sir, may I have another?' Because I don't know what happens to folks that fuck up their second chance, and I honestly don't wanna know."

>...for someone who told me to vent, you seriously did most of the talking there. And you got a serious beef with a two of those it seems.

"I hate people like that Queen. There's no art to just mind zots someone. Me? I don't need magic to make mares think I love 'em, allllll skill."

>...

"..."

>Where the FUCK did I put those ear plugs!?

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>2
"Twilight"
'18'
~~~~~

>AUNTIE TWILIGHT!

"OOOF! Heeey! There's my favorite niece!"

>Ya' have more than one!?

"What? No."

>Then aren't I also yer' least favorite niece too?

"Uh..."

'Do not try to argue with her logic, it is foolproof.'

"18! Hey! Have you seen Shiny?"

'He was still with Celestia when the rugrat pulled me away.'

"Even better! Both Shiny and Celestia at the same time? The fun has been doubled, as Luna would say!"

'Pffthahaha.'

"Sorry, you know me and cheesy lines."

'...Right, that's what I was laughing at...'

>Oh oh! Can I come too!? I wanna show Shiny all my stuffed animals!

"Oh, sure!... What stuffed animals?"

'Tilt your head back a bit.'

"...huh."

'How you didn't notice that, I'm kind of surprised.'

"I thought it was a cloud."

'It is.'

"...Huh."

'Whelp, you handle the tot if you don't mind, I'm off to go on some of the scarier rides.'

"Sure, no problem!"

'Appreciated.'

"Oh, pshaw, anything for you!"

The magical grip was transferred over, and her favorite niece was quickly placed on her back.

"Shiny says he doesn't know what he'd do without you! He needs you, tells me that all the time. You deserve some fun."

Happily, she trotted off in the vaguest of directions where she thinks Shiny might have gone.

Completely unaware of the wide smile and tears sprinkling at the corner of the Changeling's eyes.

'T-tell him you too...'

But she had already gone.

It's okay...

'He probably knows.'
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>Rarity
"Applejack"
~~~~

>Okay, so, wrong turn. We took a slightly wrong turn and we need to get back on track.

"How."

>I don't know how! We were just going one way when we she have been going the other!

"Ah' mean, how do ya' know? We don't know where he is."

>Yes I do! I'm tracking Charity!

"...Charity."

>Right!

"The gun."

>That one, specifically.

"The gun that is not allowed in the park."

>Well, it's here!

"And yer' sure he has it?"

>...I suppose I should double check.

"Yeah, ya' do that."

>....
"..."
>....FUCK!

"Not good?"

>SHUT UP APPLEJACK AND HELP ME FIND HIM!

"What do ya' think Ah've been doin'?"

>Not helpful enough!

"...Big Mac, Ah' swear, next time Ah'm just givin' out the sex coupons."

>...WHAT!?

"Yeah, that was suggestion A."

>Huh.

"...Yer, uh, yer' kinda-"

>NEVERMIND! Come! We have to find Spikey-Wikey so I can take him through the tunnel of love!

"...Now, see, when ya' say that, ya' DO mean the ride, right?"

>AWAY!

"Don't you ignore me. Ah' will smack you with mah hat."
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>PJ
"Message"
~~~~

She enters the gun club meeting room.
>Mrrmrm.....mrmphmurm?
Looks around but doesn't see anyone.

>Mrmphm?

She finds a note with a ticket.
"Dear PJ, We've gone to Partyland. You weren't here to get your ticket, but just in case you arrive while we're gone here's your ticket. We leave on XX/XX/XX -DT"

>Hrm?
Looks at the calender and drops her potato.

>OH SHIT!
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>MM
"Vekir"
'Rekulk'
~~~~

>Niney? Shoot, where did he-AHHHH!

"Do not fear, pony with hair of silver! I am Vekir, and I have come to meet pony!"

>...Hi?

"The meeting is made!"

'Vekir! That is no way to meet a pony! Is customary to give gift in show of friendship, yes?'

"MY THINGS!"

'A thousand pardons! She is young, and she does not know much in the ways yet!'

>Huh.

"Rekulk, she does not flee like the others, is she slow?"

*SMACK!*

'Do you think of any words you speak!?... why do you not run?'

>You are surprisingly not the scariest thing I have seen.

'...Really?'

>Punched a damn demon zombie in the face. Not a demon, a demon who died, and then came back as a zombie missing most of it's head.

'Ah...'

>Uh... here, gift of greeting, have my chocolate bar.

"THE GIFT HAS BEEN MADE! You are friend now!"

>Sure, let's go with that.

'Ha haaa! Thank you, one of silver hair! You are most kind! Come to city of white and I will trade you many things, yes! Many many things to be given! And great rates as all friends receive!'

>Sure.

"HUZZZAH! To the con of the sessions, we shall trade for more of hollowed out skulls filled with the yellow eggs!"

'You will ruin your diet!'

"AND I DO NOT CARE! HA HAAAAAAaaaaa!"

'Oh, so lively! She will surely last another six coming of the tides, maybe! Good time, Silver one!'

>...M'kay. Somehow that was not the weirdest part of my week... what the hell happened to my life?
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It was funny how in these moments Spike was reminded Diamond Tiara really was a normal filly at heart. Sure she could swear like a sailor, be a bit of a spiteful bitch, had a relationship with her rocket launcher a bit outside the laws of nature, and a laundry list of other faults.

But that was half of what made her normal anyway.

Made him envious in many ways.

But that was neither here nor there. Leaving Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon to challenge Chrysalis and Mane-iac to a battle of bumper cars, he checked his wallet and decided to see if he could run into anyone he knew who might want lunch at one of those over-priced, semi-fancy places. Maybe even one of the hotels restaurants like in the Grand Equestrian.

"Tiara, Silver Spoon, even Chrysalis and Mane-iac. I really do hope you guys have fun and remember days like this for the rest of your lives."

He maintained this dignity for all of point three more seconds before Cheese Sandwich snatched Spike up to join in a passing parade.
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>Cheese
"Attendant"
'???'
~~~~

>Okay, buddy? Can I call you buddy? Listen, remember what I said about outside food? It's an insurance thing, it's not just me being nitpicky.

"She, uh... she was insistent."

>How insistent? Between 'passive aggressive post it note' and 'carved into lawn with fire', where does it rate?

"You know what? Just ask her. It's hard to describe."

>Ooookay, I guess I can do that. Miss! Miss, I'm sorry, but you can't-

The moment that head snapped around and her eyes met his, he knew fear.

'What did you say?'

>...You can't... carry it around like that? You have to skew it a little to the left.

'No.'

>Let me have this.

'...'

Very, very slightly, she tilted her popcorn maker.

>Great! Enjoy your stay!

'Which way to the kernels.'

>To the left, fifty paces, then directly right.

'Good....'

>...Okay, for future reference? That's a "Carved into the earth and visible from space".

"I'll keep that in mind, boss."

>You do that.
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NC
~~~~

>....Huh.

"What's up, boss?"

>You ever feel like normally you could see beyond the veil of the edges of the universe and determine events, but just this once you had it blocked?

"...No?"

>Me neither, don't know why I brought it up.
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>Pennydrop
"Salespony"
'Voiceover'

>Are we ready

"Five by five, ma'am, all the maintenance checks have cleared, the attendants have the speeches memorized, and there's absolutely zero chance of this going horribly wrong."

>Good, remind the staff that mistakes will result in summary termination without severance pay.

"Uh, of course, Ma'am."

>Please, call me Penny.

"Really?"

>Hell no. Now flip the switch.

The salespony shrugs and flips a switch and at once the art deco building that is the Fawntaine Hall of the Future comes to life! Bright lights flash on and off, posters advertise promises of new exciting wonders ready to be sampled, easy listening music blares through the speakers before a voiceover cuts in.

'Come one, come all, to the Fawntaine Hall of the Future! See the greatness of tomorrow! Hear the history of Equestria's leader in technological innovation! Behold the special unveiling at the end of our latest breakthrough in research: THE INFUSION! Are you ready to see a miracle? Step inside and come see what you're missing!'

A few ponies look at the towering building and move to enter, then more. The Hall of the Future is open, and who can say what this Future will bring?
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Completely non-canon
>Spike
"Chitania"
~~~
Spike finds himself sitting on a bench reflecting on his labors and the perceived lack of any fruits

"YOU!"

Spike looks up and sees Chitania

>Huh... Well, this is a coup de grace if I ever saw one.

"... What? No fire? No gung ho attitude? What gives?"

>what would be the point? I mean when we fought back in Canterlot, I had an entire explosives warehouse and an airship to attack you with. That did jack shit. I had my gun on the train, that did even less. What could I honestly do that would mean anything right now?

"... Jeez, kid, way to kill the mood..."

Chitania takes a seat next to him

"popcorn? It makes me feel better."

>Thanks...

"Seriously, kid, I know dragons, you can't be older than twenty, and the fact that you had the balls to even stare me down means something."

>Yay me! I have balls. There goes Spike The Balls Boy.

"I think you're being a bit hard on yourself."

>What else can I be? I put so much effort into everything I do, and I still have yet to help my friends in any meaningful way...

"Back up, right there, kid. You probably help them in a lot of ways you just can't see because your still small and your perspective is waaaaaaaay down here. Take it from someone who can grow into the size of a mountain, you'd be surprised what effects small gestures can mean in the grand scheme of things."

>And what do they mean?

"A lot for the person you helped."

An hour of unexpected therapy later...

"you're young, I know you don't feel it, I know you can't reclaim what you've already lost, but that doesn't mean you should try to kill the rest. Even I can't carry the weight of the world on my shoulders."

>Thanks for listening.

"Hey, I used to listen to a lot other Queens back in my day and help them with their problems. Honestly, kid, you are the least problematic person i've dealt with."

>Really?

"The stories i could tell about Chrysalis when she was young. You know she was confused about her own gender for a long time?"

>Wow.

"Yeah, I said nothing of it though."

>Seriously though, thank you. You're... You're actually a pretty good friend.

"Friends? whoa, let's not get crazy with the commitments!"

>Hah! I'm just saying, anyone who could call you a friend is real lucky.

"Thanks... And, you know, you might not think it, but you too."

Chitania stands up

"Welp, I'm outta popcorn kernels already, better go restock. kick your ass later."

>Later!

'There you are!'

>Hey, Rarity!

'Spikey? who was that mare you were just talking to?'

Spike smiles

>A good person.
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>Fizzle
"Flash"

>Hey....Hey.....HEEEEEEY

"What is it, punk?, where meant to be incognito here"

>By disguising ourselves as slowly moving cardboard boxes? Sure, no-one's noticed by now, sure, whatever, just look to the left damnit

"-VRRRRRT-...Periscope sees.....the "Hall of the Future"? What do you want with Penny huh kid? We're meant to be doing our own thing here"

>Oh sure, and that is...what, exactly?

"Being evil, or did that not get through your smog head skull?"

>Sure it did, but HOW? All we've been doing is skulking around the place like were on some covert op

"I know what's evil and what ain't, punk, I know what I'm doing"

>Uh huh, but just lookit that thing! There's gotta be a wax museum or something in there! These "Hall of heroes" gigs always do, just think of the shit we can pull there!

"I'm not one of your teenage pranskters, I'm a scary, merciless killing cyborg...thing, so forget it, follow my lead"

>Whatever, nerd, you just don't have the imagination, it all went outta the window when that alicorn stuffed it full of wires. I'm out-OOF.....why's that one carrying a popcorn...thingie?

"Uhhh, shut up, that'll do you-wait DON'T GO THERE"

>Wanna try and stop me? Or are ya going to do something cool for once

Exeunt scene, as two large cardboard boxes, one slightly smoking, shuffle their way to the Hall of the Future's side entrance

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