stormblood thoughts

Stormblood Thoughts per Patch

4.0
Story: Pretty ok for the most part, Heavenswards main story was still stronger for a large portion. Azim Steppe story was highlight tho, would replay that entire section on an alt anyday. Zenos was awesomely overpowered but that really got downplayed the further along we got. I like Hien and Gosestu as characters and Cirina is just :3ccccccccccc. Y'shtola was just as whiny, Tataru getting a kimono was cute. Alisaie getting actual screentime is great. But Lyse is just.....boring sometimes. I didnt really like her when she was Yda (i wasnt a big fan of her and Palpalymo tbh) but I feel like her character took a hit with just being "IM DIFFERENT FROM MY SISTER NOW :))))".

Dungeons: The first two dungeons were pretty standard for dungeons so they weren't really a "woWW" factor. Bardams Mettle was nuts tho and had some really cool fights and trash pulls. Doma Castle was a dream come true. Castrum whatever the fuck was boring and Ala Mhigo is still a quoteable as fuck dungeon (THE SOUL REBELS???). Temple of the Fist was cool but i've never played Monk and Kugane Castle had bitching music and THE GREATEST FINAL BOSS EVER.

NM Primals: Susano was wacky and has the coolest 2nd phase transition EVER and Lakshmi has some reallllllly nice music, fuck knockback mechanics tho. Atleast the new "duty action" thing with the vrils was neat asf, hope the use that more soon. Shinryu is fun but I can already tell you that this fight will fucking SUCK on extreme, DF really doesnt know how to dodge things.

NM Raids: BITCH IS THIS AN FFV TIER HOLY. ok seeing Alte Roite was nuts. seeing Catastrophe was nuts. seeing HALICARNASSUS WAS NUTS. BUT THE KING OF THE VOID HIMSELF EXDEATH HOLY FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. i've been wanting an exdeath/neo exdeath fight for a while so this is just nut central for me holy fkkkkkkkkKKKk i hope neo is in savage dude holy shit. also the fucking FFV boss music remix is so good im gonna get sick of it tho loLLLLL

Overall thoughts on patch: rough start cause expansion release and the shit with raubahn but it got way better. levelling was fun and the verity grind wasnt that bad.

4.1
Story: Definitely an interesting patch story. The whole section with Nanamo under disguise was really fucking cute and the "oh we're doing this again" fight with Lakshmi was cool even if they tried to be all "Fordola is human and has a tragic backstory too :)". also the final cutscene with Raubahn and Nanamo was just so :3c.

Dungeons: Oh hey they actually made that underwater city in the Lochs relevant. weird ass roundabout way to do (considering alphinaud is like "haha we found another way around :)") but atleast the parts with the floating above the holes was neat. also me and swift immediately clicked off the buff to see if we would fall in the pit because YOU HAVE TO ITS FUNNY.

NM Primal: none cause Shinryu got his EX shit and im writing that at the bottom

24 Man Raid: when they said there would be Ivalice stuff for the 24 mans I was expecting some full on FFTactics stuff. Story wise I was correct considering its mainly FFTactics characters but FUCK WE GO TO RABANASTRE FROM FF12 FIRST. ALRIGHT THATS COOL. I hate FF12 with a burning passion but Rabanastre is literally the place you go to every 3 seconds to do things so having that be a raid is nuts to me. The first boss was confusing and im p sure everyone i queued with didnt get it. We wiped to the second boss atleast 8 times. Swift had to tell me bout the north n south claw shit but pugs are too stupid. going into the sewers was really cool and apparently one way lets you go underwater???? THATS SO COOL???? 3rd boss was neat, the little 8 curve he does is cool and i liked the part where the room goes dark. last boss can suck a massive cock but atleast he has a cool edgy voice.

Overall thoughts: Pretty cool patch from the get go but since i'm not interested in Shin EX and im only doing the 24 man once a week. This is just boring fodder until the next tier is out in 4.2.

4.2:
Story: WHY. CAN NOONE. STAY. DEAD. GOSETSUS OKAY YAAAY. YOTSUYU IS NOT EVIL AND IS PURE YAAAAY. ZENOS!?!?!"?!??!"?!?"?!?"??
thats it thats my whole thoughts. this story hurt my head.

Dungeons: Hells Lid is pretty cool, i liked the part where you're surrounded by the lava walls. Turtle boss was cool too. Fractal-whatever the hard mode is realllly cool. I never did the NM back in HW so this was like a "whoaaa the old music AHHHH" and "WHOA THIS BOSS IS USING SOPHIA AND SEPHIROT THINGS OH NOOOO"

NM Primal: Byakko or "wolf daddy" as he has been called, is very fun. The music in the 2nd phase is BITCHING (that fucking opening bass line kills me, fuck its so good). The phase transition is so fucking cool (Ya'll like TOUHOU????) and god his design is just so.....someone was horny that day. very fun i like it, cant wait to try EX.

NM Raids: I FUCKING LOVE FF6 AND THEY MADE A GOD DAMN TIER FOR IT. THE FUCKIN REMIX OF DECEIVE BATTLE HNNNNNNNNNNNNG. PHANTOM TRAIN? YES BABY (EVEN THO WE DIDNT GET TO SUPLEX IT). CHARDANOOK? PAINTING IS EPIC. GUARDIAN? SHITTY BOSS BUT THE SCREENS THING WAS COOL. THE BOY HIMSELF KEFKA AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HE DID THE LAUGH AND ITS PLAYING THE FIRST 3 PHASES OF DANCING MAD. GOD I HOPE SAVAGE HAS THE GOD FORM WITH THE 4TH PHASE OF DANCING MAD. GREATEST NORMAL TIER AHHHHHHHH.

Overall thoughts: Story was brain hurty. Expert Dungeons was nice. Byakko is fun. Raid Tier is godlike. 10/10 good patch.

4.25:
we interrupt this program to bring you this random patch inbetween because they brought out the new relic weapons in the form of this ff11 bullshit and i've been sat afk in this place for a week now and im so bored but i reached level 20 with zita and i beat pokemon ORAS and mario odyssey in this time so its ok. is pazuzu up tho.

4.3
Story: LEAVE MY POOR HEART ALONE. SHE WAS TOO PURE AND DIDNT DESERVE THIS. GOSETSU IS BEST DAD. FUCK THIS STORY I HATE IT I WANNA DIE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Dungeons: Swallows Compass is pretty neat, I got the casting coat drop first try (get fucked swift) and it looks REALLY COOL. The first section was really cool. going through the underwater tunnels was COOLER. the 2nd boss is some kinky slime shit. riding nimbus's was cooooooooooool and the last boss is literally goku dont @ me. fun addition to Expert.

NM Primal: (SPOILER REDACTED) nah im kidding but Tsukuyomi is a one way trip to destroying my heart. She looks really amazing (moon bunnYYYYYYY), the 2nd phase transition was just so fucking awesome if you liked the story so far and fuck me wayward daughter is a good ASS THEME. ITS A FUCKING BOP. THE 2ND PHASES ARENA LOOKS REALLY COOL TOO I LIKE THE MOON SHIT AND THE CHERRY BLOSSOMS AHHHH. I dont know how Yoshi-p expects me to run EX through my tears tho

24 Man Raid: OH SHIT ITS MONTBLANC. WE FFTACTICS ADVANCE NOW??? NO JUST MORE FF12?? WAIT RIDORANA AS IN THE "HEY CLIMB THIS BITCH TO FIGHT YIAZMAT NIGGA" UH OHHHHH. First boss had some bullshit with positions and had a reference to tide pods. good one koji fox. 2nd boss was pretty cool, i screamed when it did the thing from A12 tho. the 3rd boss got spoiled by the alliance chat for me but seeing the shit with the math numbers was so cool and i figured it out before swift and adam AND COR so i'm the best probably. also nice unintentional persona 3 reference haha. final boss is LITERALLY FUCKIN YIAZMAT, SAW IT COMING BUT I WAS STILL SURPRISED. BITCH HITS LIKE A FUCKIN TRUCK, DOES SOME BULLSHIT WITH PLUS AND MINUS. HE THROWS YOU OFF THE GOD DAMN TOWER. i got salty towards the end cause that fight sucks with poopy gear like i had.

Overall thoughts: story makes me very sad gay boy. new dungeon is cool. new primal makes me cry more fukkkkkkk. 24 man kinda dope but i will prolly hate running this every week

4.35
whoahahahah hey there kiddies its that mid patch season again. heaven on high is pretty cool since its literally just eastern themed palace of the dead for 60-70 jobs but fuck needing a 61 job to start it lmao that was stupid. eureka released pagos and so far its fuckin stupid. the trains dead, theres two fates that baits people into think it gives EXP but NAWWWWWW get baited. shits way worse than amenos lol. monster hunter event is fucking cool as hell tho. i need that god damn rathalos mount.

4.4
Story: oh shit we get to go to the snowy place thats cool. oh now Y'shtolas actually gonna do things. WE GO BACK TO THE AZIM STEPPE FUCKING HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. COOL ASS INSTANCE TOO. GOT SOME SHIT WITH DISSIDIA STUFF TOO AND DONT FORGET WITTLE SUNNNN. aww now everyones kinda comatose but atleast Ga'bu is okay :3. Alisaie got screentime again and I eat that shit UP. It was all just setup for next expansion tho tbh, still better than the disappointing Warriors of Darkness shit from 3.4 fight me. (Please just leave Alisaie alone)

Dungeons: The Burn has really nice music, the trash pulls are wack. Boss 1 and 2 are really cool. FUCK THAT FINAL BOSS THO. I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO EXPERT EVERY WEEK UNTIL 4.5. Saint Mo-WHATEVER hard mode is pretty meh. I never did the NM in HW again so it was kinda of "ehhhh" to me. the music is really fucking annoying and the trash pulls are ok (the water shit took me a while). Earth Shaker is the most overused mechanic and that final boss is gonna be hell in DF lmfao.

NM Primal: Suzaku got some cool stuff to it. Really cool Baelsars Wall flashback, the DDR part was FUN AS FUCK. Suzaku's human form is a mommy fuck ya'll. the colours shit is gonna be hell in EX im calling it now. Music is once again kick ass and I like the usage of Byakkos theme in there a few times since its the same story. pretty fun.

NM Raids: OH OKAY HI CHAOS. NICE FF1 BATTLE THEME REMI-oh its over. OH FUCK ITS KEEPER OF THE LAKE EXTREME MODE. I DIDNT LIKE THAT DUNGEON AND MIDGARSOMRS THEME GIVES ME NIGHTMARES. Omega was pretty infuriating since the group i got was retarded but atleast the THEME IS FUCKING AWESOME (cant wait to hate it after running this in savage over and over). BUT WAIT THERES MORE, HOLY MOLY ITS A MOMMY AND DADDY STEPPING ON ME WHAT THE H. OH I CAN BEAT UP THE FEMALE BUT NOT THE MALE. OK SQUARE YOU GOT IT, ILL BEAT SOME WOME-.

Overall thoughts: Story was average but the return to Azim Steppe got me nutting hard. Dungeons have cool starts but gay ass final bosses. Suzaku is fun but the EX gonna be poop probably. Final raid tier is strong but god did they really need to make you fight Midgardsomr again.

4.5
Story:
I SAID LEAVE ALISAIE ALONE YOU BASTARDS. This was just a whole bunch of exposition and info dumps but once again; NOONE CAN STAY FUCKING DEAD. NOW GAIUS IS FUCKING BACK?!?>!?!!?!?! Matoya says the aether is thinning and thats a big uh oh and even alphy is a sleepy boy too. The parley was interesting and Varis did his fucking research and blasted all of us. He's also literally a pokemon villain, i just dont remember which one tho (Edit: ITS FUCKING LYSANDRE. EXACT SAME GOALS AND EVERYTHING) and then we fuckin just fight on a battlefield like baelsars wall again but slightly less epic and then they just FUCKING PULL THE RUG FROM UNDERNEATH ME AND IM MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.

Dungeon:
Grimlyt Dark is ok. Trash Pulls are weirdly scripted. The music is baller asf and the bosses are ok. The final bosses are wacky and cool. I also like how after 3 different runs of the dungeon i've had a different NPC do a limit break on the final colossus. thats neat.

NM Primal:
oh my god....SNAAAAKE. this fight was ok but i feel like it was wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too fucking easy. i'm glad they finally incorporated swimming into a fight finally. honestly this was kinda let down from Suzaku and Byakko.

24 Man Raid:
I skipped the story. I'm sorry but I still dont care for Ivalice. I wanted something more Tactics Advance but its just more Tactics. The design of everything is first off REALLY PRETTY, this is a very lovely looking final raid. First Boss was fucking cool as shit tho, I loved the whole Xigbar transition with the sniper. Second boss dope too for its mechs although the shield timing with bad ping is awful (I DONT HAVE THIS PROBLEM WITH REGULAR PASSAGE D:<) Third Boss is pretty fun but its also wayyyyyyyy to heavily relied on more than 12+ people being good at the game. 4th boss pretty dope too (i liked the cool ass blockin with my book thing)

Overall thoughts:
Pretty disappointing Patch to be quite honest with ya'll idk. It just feels like half of it is missing (which it is since 4.55 is a thing and Blue Mage is getting realised a week later). But just as a major patch alone its pretty weak. Hopefully 4.55 will salvage something for me.

EXTREME FIGHTS:
PRIMALS:
Susano:
Very fun for an extreme fight, the arena being split in two is awesome. Alot of the mechanics rely on the DPS being smart and the Tanks actually swapping (pugs fail at both of these still as of 4.1 lol) but gosh this fight is so damn fun

Lakshmi:
Vril is more of a "keep that shit filled or feel the pain" kinda deal. Pugs love making chimichanga jokes all the time and uhhhh i still dont think anyone knows how to do the add phase properly. atleast the music is still nice.

Shinryu:
fuck this fight im never doing it (update as of 4.25. new FC friends took me in cause bonus and this fight is kinda cool but we gear carried hard so it was free. this fight would've 100% been hell on patch)

Byakko:
this fight is reallllly fun to tank, get to grabbed alot, beat the shit out of by a wolf and also actually use Tank LB to completley own a DPS check (get owned yoshi-p). still really fun and still really catchy music.

Tsukuyomi:
I cant do this fight through my tears AHHHH. fights pretty interesting. meteors phase kinda blows tho but atleast the final phase is really fucking cool (coulda done without the A11 ptsd tho)

Suzaku:
fights actually kinda ok. pugs dont know how the f to dodge colours or do the tower phase tho LMAO. atleast i dont have to do this fight again now i have my ninja knives (update: i had to do it again 10 more times for my smn book lol)

Seiryu:
N/A

Raids:
Deltascape:
O1S:
SLIP AND SLIIIIIIDE
O2S:
TANKS AND HEALERS UP
O3S:
EVERYTHING AFTER BOOKS SUCKS
O4S:
NEVER GOT TO THIS FIGHT BUT NEO IS COOL

Sigmascape:
O5S:
FUCK THIS FIGHT WITH A GIANT FUCKING TRAIN
O6S:
CAN THIS HEALER PLEASE BLOW THE FL-*DEAD*
O7S:
VIRUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
O8S:
ILL NEVER FIGHT GOFKA AND HEAR THE COOL ASS DANCING MAD REMIX FUCK

Alphascape:
O9S:
THIS FIGHT IS VERY COOL AND DPS IN IS TRASH
O10S:
no
O11S:
BRO THIS FIGHT IS SO EPIC WTF ALSO PANKO 2 IS A FUCKIN DANCE PARTY
O12S:
MOMMY STEP ON ME