Six a-Bonging with the Best

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecJUqhm2g08&lc=z13utlhbqvbryv31u234c10xjmvufdhvy

I saw Sargon in a grocery store in Englandistan yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn't want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said "Oh, like you're doing now?"

I was taken aback, and all I could say was "Huh?" but he kept cutting me off and going "Huh? Huh? Huh?" and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen boxes of baby food in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice and professional about it and was like "Sir, you need to pay for those first." At first he kept pretending to be tried and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the boxes and started to scan it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually "to prevent any feminist false accusation interference" then turned around and creepily licked his lips at me. I don't even think that's a word. After she scanned each product and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Anyway, I walk out behind Sargon and realize I'm running late, so I ask him the time. I asked Sargon and the second he opened his mouth to answer, I knew I had awoken a lifeless-yet-living god from like, a hundred dimensions above us.

He looks at me and goes "ARE YOU FOOKIN WIMBLY FOURS MATE?! IT'S CRIMBO NINAN SAX APPLE SMIBBLY DIN BIBBLY, CHAP!"

I had no idea what he'd just said so I asked him to repeat it.

"U FOOKIN WOT M8? YOU ARE ONE CHEEKY CUNT! I'LL SMACK YOU IN THE GOBBER, I SWARE ON ME MUM!"

He then begins laughing maniacally but is interrupted by the chimes of Big Ben. Six chimes. Not only Sargon, but every single Englishman stopped dead in the street.

A motherfucking carriage with the initials HRH that was rolling down the street stops dead in its tracks and some clearly drunken old women flings the top half of her body out the window.

She said "OI! DID YOU GITS FOOKIN 'EAR THAT? IT BE 6 BONG!"

The carriage driver turns around, lifting his curled mustache so the woman could properly hear him. "SIX BONGERS?"

Sargon ripped his dirty t-shirt open, exposing his flabby, hairy mantits. "SIX FEKKIN BONG!"

People started pouring into the streets, I shit you not. In the soul-burning chanting of "SIX A-BONG, SIX A-BONG!" I managed to hear "YA WANKERS, IT BE CRIMBO SEVEN A BONG!"

Store clerks and chimney sweeps surge into the street like fucking ants and begin singing the song that ends the world.

"SIX A-BONG, SIX A-BONG, OLLY JOLLY IT'S SIX A-BONG!"
"BANG UP THE KNACKERS, SMACK YER MUM"
"OLL IN THE STREETS IT'S SIX A-BONG!"

Fish and chips get thrown in the air en masse and in the haze I see Kevin Logan somewhere in the distance, SIX A-BONG-ing with the best of them.

Still, it was really fucking nice to meet Sargon.