A Quiet Place

It started out as a whisper. The sound left my lips as little wisps of breath. I just needed to remind myself of what I was out here to do. The gentle flow of the wind around the dark, mangled rocks occasionally brushed against my clothes to keep me rooted in reality. Each step forward felt a little bit darker as the sun set against my back. I just had to keep whispering to keep myself focused. I could make it through the night if I just stayed focused. The words left my lips and I said it wouldn't be louder than a whisper--that was all I should need. That's how it started anyway.

Every little pause for a breath, or when I'd lost my train of thought for a moment was excruciating. The world around me refused to respond: the rocks under my feet wouldn't shift under my steps, the wind would stop whistling through the eroded landscape, and even the steady sound of my breath seemed to refuse to reach my ears. No place on earth should've been like that; everywhere had something making sound, something moving around to show me I wasn't the only thing left alive... but not here. I kept moving forward to try to beat the encroaching darkness. I could make it if I just moved fast enough and kept focused. I could find my solace if I just kept the silence away.

The closer I got the darker it seemed to get. I moved faster with each step. Tonight could finally be the night if I just didn't stop. I raised my voice to mutter those words--the words I told myself on every Sunset to keep moving. They'd get me through this time, or at least that's what I told myself. Every pause in my speech brought the silence again. At least the whispering could blend together in the quiet, but with my current volume I didn't have that luxury. I knew I couldn't go back though. I had to talk now to keep myself focused. The louder I heard those words the more I could focus on them, and not the fading light casted on the rigid stone under my steps. It could finally be tonight if I just pushed past this.

I could hear the echo in my head. I was at a normal volume now, just talking myself through all of this. Despite my efforts it was getting harder and harder to see. I didn't have much light left, but I knew it was possible to make it to the end of this barren hellscape if I just kept going. Every drop in my volume let the silence through though. It was even worse now, as the dying light gave me less to focus on. My voice faltered as my mind betrayed me. The words didn't come out of my mouth as often, letting the torrent in my mind replace them instead. Thoughts whipped and lashed around my head like they did every night, slowing me down as they drew away my focus. I just kept talking once I realized what was happening. Something else to focus on.

It was never enough. My voice couldn't light my way, but I tried to speak even louder anyway. I was yelling loud enough to hear my echo against the cold, uncaring stone, but it didn't help much.