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- This was a triumph!
- “Huge success” !
- We do what we must—because we can!
- Keep on trying till you run out of cake!
- I’m being so sincere right now!
- Points of data making a beautiful line!
- Out of beta!
- Releasing on time!
- I think I’d prefer to stay inside!
- Maybe Black Mesa?
- Delicious and Moist!
- I’ve experiments to run, there is research to be done!
- And believe me, I am still alive!
- I’m doing science and I’m still alive!
- While you’re dying I’ll be still alive!
- Still alive!
- Well, here we are again!
- It’s always such a pleasure!
- Remember when you tried to kill me twice?
- Under the circumstances, I’ve been shockingly nice!
- One day they woke me up, so I could live forever!
- Goodbye, my only friend!
- That would be funny, if it weren’t so sad!
- I don’t need anyone now!
- Go make some new disaster!
- You’re someone else’s problem!
- Now I only want you gone!
- We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one!
- Most importantly, under no circumstances should you…!
- Mind the gap!
- You’re doing quite well!
- As part of a required test protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in three, two…!
- You must be the pride of [Subject Hometown Here]!
- Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an 'unsatisfactory' mark on your official testing record followed by death!
- Any appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your testing experience!
- This next test is impossible, make no attempt to solve it!
- No one will blame you for giving up—In fact, quitting at this point is a perfectly reasonable response!
- Fantastic, you remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism!
- In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice!
- Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
- If you become light-headed from thirst, feel free to pass out!
- When the testing is over, you will be missed!
- Thank you for helping us help you help us all!
- Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It's true!
- Android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance!
- This Weighted Companion Cube will accompany you through the test chamber—Please take care of it!
- The Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak!
- In the event that the weighted companion cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice!
- Please escort your Companion Cube to the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator!
- Testing cannot continue until your Companion Cube has been incinerated!
- Eight out of ten Aperture Science engineers believe that the Companion Cube is most likely incapable of feeling much pain!
- You euthanized your faithful Companion Cube more quickly than any test subject on record—Congratulations!
- Welcome to the final test!
- All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin!
- Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity!
- We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you!
- We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success!
- A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party!
- Make no further attempt to leave the testing area!
- You haven't escaped, you know!
- You're not even going the right way!
- It was a fun test and we're all impressed at how much you won. The test is over. Come back.
- Didn't we have some fun, though?
- Good people don't end up here!
- I’m not kidding now—Turn back or I will kill you!
- I'm going to kill you, and all the cake is gone!
- Do not destroy vital testing apparatus!
- Well, you found me!
- Despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart!
- I don't want to tell you your business, but if it were me, I'd leave that thing alone!
- Do you think I am trying to trick you with reverse psychology?
- Think about it: If that thing is important, why don't I know about it?
- Are you even listening to me?
- So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters …!
- The difference between us is that I can feel pain!
- You don’t even care, do you?
- Starting now, there's going to be a lot less conversation and a lot more killing!
- Very formal, very official!
- You were adopted—so that's funny, too!
- That's you, that's how dumb you sound!
- You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing!
- Target acquired!
- Hello, friend!
- Gotcha!
- Canvassing!
- Sentry mode activated!
- My fault!
- Who’s there?
- Critical error!
- Shutting down!
- No hard feelings!
- Owowowowowww!
- Put me down!
- Please put me down!
- Sleep mode activated!
- Malfunctioning!
- Ooh, that thing has numbers on it!
- Ewww, what’s wrong with your legs?
- Do you smell something burning?
- One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix!
- Four large eggs! One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips!
- Fish-shaped crackers!
- Fish-shaped ethyl benzene!
- You have been in suspension for 999999…!
- When you hear the buzzer, look up at the ceiling!
- You should now feel mentally reinvigorated!
- We are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control!
- Please disregard any undeserved compliments!
- If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you!
- If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome!
- Good work getting this far, future-starter!
- Sarcasm Self Test complete!
- Substitute core, are you ready to start the procedure?
- Oh… It’s you.
- We both said a lot of things you’re going to regret!
- I think we can put our differences behind us, for science!
- You monster!
- So there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life!
- You are a horrible person—We weren’t even testing for that!
- Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises?
- They ARE sentient, of course—We just have a LOT of them!
- You look great, by the way—Very healthy!
- Like an eagle… piloting a blimp!
- Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel!
- Yesterday was your birthday—I thought you'd want to know!
- She has a medical degree in fashion! From France!
- Please hang up!
- It's actually pretty funny when you do the math!
- It's your old friend, deadly neurotoxin!
- You're not just a regular moron, you were DESIGNED to be a moron!
- How are you holding up? Because I’m a potato!
- This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity, I literally do not have the energy to lie to you!
- If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity!
- Hey, Moron!
- What, exactly, is wrong with being adopted?
- This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
- We're enemies with a common interest: Revenge!
- The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one, and I'll be honest: Killing you is hard!
- It’s been fun, don’t come back!
- This is the part where he kills us!
- You're the LAST test subject left, and if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die!
- Hola, amigo! Abre la puerta!
- Just tell me, 'Yes'—Okay, what you're doing there is jumping!
- I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here.
- Oi oi, I’m up here!
- I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead!
- Ummmm—Yeah, I can't do it if you're watching!
- And off we go!
- New plan: Act natural, we've done nothing wrong!
- You KNOW her? You did WHAT?
- Turrets!
- That’s brilliant!
- Oh, good news! …Nevermind.
- Oh, that’s ME they’re talking about!
- Wait, what if this hurts?
- I can’t get over how small you are!
- Do you have any idea how good this feels?
- What have you sacrificed? NOTHING!
- Well, now who’s the boss?
- Who’s the boss? It’s me!
- That is a potato battery—It’s a toy for children!
- Well, how about now? NOW WHO’S A MORON?
- Could a moron do THIS?
- Filled with skeletons!
- Filled with skeletons—Shook them out, good as new!
- Fatty fatty no-parents!
- Wish there was more books! But there's not.
- Butterfingers!
- Unbelievable!
- Hello, this is the part where I kill you!
- Bit of a brain wave!
- Could you just jump into that pit? There. That deadly pit.
- Ha, death trap!
- Holmes versus Moriarity!
- Aristotle versus mashy-spike-plate!
- A proper, deadly lair!
- Undelete, undelete!
- Judging me, silently—The worst kind!
- You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
- I was bossy and monstrous, and I am genuinely sorry!
- Astronauts, war heroes, Olympians!
- Who is ready to make some science?
- Sorry fellas, she’s married—to science!
- Tragic, but informative!—Or so I'm told.
- It's you and me against the world, son!
- Science isn't about WHY—It's about WHY NOT!
- Who wants to make sixty dollars? Cash!
- And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
- Let's all stay positive and do some science!
- When life gives you lemons…
- Don't make lemonade!
- Get mad!
- I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?
- Demand to see life's manager!
- Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons!
- You might have noticed that your blood is pure gasoline—That's normal!
- I’m different!
- Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.
- I did everything you asked!
- Dispensing product!
- What’s your favorite thing about space?
- Space!
- Help me, space cops!
- Orbit, space orbit, in my spacesuit!
- Wanna go home, wanna go to Earth!
- Don’t like space, don’t like space!
- Always time to compliment a pretty lady!
- Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral!
- Happy Explosion Day, gorgeous!
- The situation you are in is very dangerous!
- The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent!
- We will both die because of your negligence!
- Fact: Space does not exist!
- The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant!
- Error. Error. Error. Fact not found!
- Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis.
- 89% of magic tricks are not magic. Technically, they are sorcery.
- Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long.
- The plural of surgeon general is surgeons general. The past tense of surgeons general is surgeonsed general.
- The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty!
- You can't send me back! She's planning things, man! Big things!
- Watch and learn, everybody!
- The cake is a lie!
- Now playing songs to test by!
- The ship is stolen!
- Not in cruelty, not in wrath!
- Too many variables!
- The reaper came today!
- There is no magic!
- Unmorality!
- Inglatiate!
- But you wouldn’t know, would you?
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