Audio 185, almost beats 682 in wrestling.

day they’ll promote me and I’ll get an actual chair.

”Redacted” Pagan: Well, I’m fine being a [static for 12 seconds] but back to the current subject: This is going to be an interesting, if not blindingly horrifying match! The participants are geared up and ready to go. Who do you have your money set on this match, Corbette?

Research Assistant Corbette: I'm gonna have to go with 682 myself, since it’s so hard to destroy. (Pause) Apparently 682 prefers to go by the name El Reptilioso in this state, and we'll be referring to him as that for the rest of the event.

"Redacted" Pagan: Because of the late entry of 96, the two Foundation entrants will face each other, with Sweet Tooth and Crushnugget in their own match.

Research Assistant Corbette: Our first match will be 96 vs. El Reptilioso, who are stepping into the ring now. 96 and/or 35 appears to be shouting about the blood of his forefathers, while El Reptiloso is growling loudly. The referee steps into the ring and the bell is rung.

"Redacted" Pagan: And… I can't believe how fast he did it, but 96 has already gotten 682 into a triangle hold! I guess 35 is really taking advantage of 96’s strength!

Research Assistant Corbette: Wait? What's this? An audience member has just thrown something onto the stage! Why, it's SCP-572!

"Redacted" Pagan: A move like that seems pretty risky, “pride goeth before the fall” and all that…

Research Assistant Corbette: 682's already picked it up, and is slashing it around with it, trying to find 96.

"Redacted" Pagan: And… mother of 343! 96 lunged onto the scaly bastard's back!

Research Assistant Corbette: Oof, that's gotta hurt. But it looks like Reptilioso already noticed the abomination and is turning around now, slashing.

"Redacted" Pagan: Just what was 35's plan in doing that!? It seems he's already been hit by the blade and… how the hell are we letting a sword pass in this!?

Research Assistant Corbette: I don't know, but it's goddamn entertaining. Oh, and 96 falls over.

"Redacted" Pagan: El Reptiliso walks toward the… thing and… WOW, 96 was playing possum!

Research Assistant Corbette: He seems to have surprised Reptilioso. And… Jesus! I don't know how he did it, but he somehow has Reptilioso in a Nelson.

"Redacted" Pagan: This is indescribable! Reptilioso has grown arms on the back of his head and… now has 96 in a german suplex!

Research Assistant Corbette: 96 and/or 35 is shouting something about his 'destrucisity'. He seems to be stretching down and… he grabbed the sword from Reptilioso's mouth! Oh, and a straight whack on the head. That's gonna leave a mark.

"Redacted" Pagan: And it now appears that Reptilioso just doesn't care anymore! He's grabbed 35 and appears to… oh no! He just pulled it off! Holy shi- [static is heard for 43 minutes].

"Redacted" Pagan: Give a round of applause, Madame Sweet Tooth is this year's champion in wrestling, and not a single nuke went off! If you missed even a second of the action, you would definitely be surprised at the Madame's performance!

Research Assistant Corbette: Thank god we all went blind right when that mask was removed! And now onto our next event and a favourite of all, 110-Montauk.